30. No farewell forever
Mal P.O.V.
Since Carlos' death, life has simply passed me by. The pain in my heart was unbearable. It was a week ago now and I kept seeing the moment when he closed his eyes forever. I had shown weakness like never before in my life. But I didn't care. His death had broken something in me. Tomorrow was his funeral and I didn't know how to do it. I couldn't just say goodbye and go on with life as before. Because this life no longer existed. Carlos had been a big part of this life and now he died. I still couldn't believe that it really happened. It was all so unfair. The only consolation was that he was no longer in pain, but instead, we all fell into a deep hole that was hard to get out of. But what Carlos said gave me the strength I needed, even if it hurt so much. Because it did. I didn't know that friendship could hurt so much. Ben was with me all the time and all of Auradon mourned this boy who left us too early. It had been a huge shock to everyone. Jay had more and more tantrums and hadn't been able to sleep in the room of him and Carlos for the first time. Evie was just crying. I knew how much she loved Carlos and that her heart was broken. It broke us all. Ben was sitting next to me again and stroking my back. It was in the middle of the night but none of us could sleep. In my dreams, I saw Carlos standing in front of me and smiling all the time and that wiped me out again.
"We can do it together tomorrow," he whispered to me and I only sighed softly. It was so unreal. I had no idea if I would do it tomorrow and especially not how.
Now we were sitting here. So many people had come to say goodbye to our boy and I realized how much this boy had been loved. Ben had already given a heartbreaking speech about how much he valued Carlos and how kind he had been. Evie held my hand and I could see from her look how broken she really was. It was my turn now. I got up carefully and went forward. I suppressed the tears that came up inside me. I knew Carlos wanted me to stay strong. And I did. For him. When I stood at the front of the lectern, I took a deep breath and began to speak.
"I know that it is one of the tasks of a future queen to be strong and persevere, but it is really difficult for me. Carlos was the warmest and friendliest boy I have ever met. He went through life with a force, which I didn't think he owned. He didn't let his illness define him, he stayed and didn't change, and he ended up fighting for Auradon even though he knew that he probably won't survive. He was braver than I ever thought. I underestimated him and I think we all did. But Carlos was a great person who did everything for Auradon and the people he loved. And so we should remember him as the person he was, the brave, cheerful boy who never gave up and not the boy with the terrible illness."
I hadn't even cried all these words, but now a single tear ran down my cheek. It was so incredibly painful and difficult to say goodbye to him. But I also knew that he was now in a great place where he was fine. I looked at Evie who smiled at me in tears and Jay nodded to me. I took a deep breath as I sat down in my seat. I knew I would see him again, but there was still time until then. Goodbye, my friend.
