Chapter 30: A Choice
\-==/\==-/
"She didn't agree to speak on your behalf," Zelda admitted apologetically. They were sharing dinner again, this time in the Princess' guest room. It was their second - and last - night in Zora's Domain.
Link chuckled. "I can't say I'm surprised," he said, shaking his head. "That… that whole thing was a complete mess from the start."
The Princess grimaced sympathetically. "I'll agree with you on that one. I've come across… many different types of princesses, or daughters of wealthy nobles. Mipha is one of those that has been given everything she ever wanted ever since she was born. Her people adore her, and her father wishes to keep her safe and happy for as long as he can. I expect she is entirely unused to rejection."
Link nodded slowly. "You're… not like that at all," he murmured slowly, lifting his gaze from the delicious sizzlefin trout filets on his plate to study her intently. His cheeks reddened. "I - I mean, not in a bad way or anything -"
"I know my people hate me," Zelda sighed, looking away from him. "And my father… well, he is not like King Dorephan. Not at all."
"I didn't mean it like that," Link protested gently. "From what I've seen, Mipha has been given few opportunities to - to grow, and learn. And she hasn't sought them out, either. I'll go ahead and say it - she's a bit spoiled. Not that she's unkind, but… she expects to get her way, and she doesn't really comprehend what real struggle looks like. Whereas you…"
He stopped, uncertain, feeling his face growing warm. I've said too much already.
But the Princess wasn't ready to let it drop; her emerald eyes glowed with soft, vulnerable curiosity, and even hope. "Whereas I…" she prompted quietly, avoiding his gaze.
Link scratched his head nervously. "You've seen hardship," he said at last. "You face it every day and you still don't let it get you down. You never take the easy way out of anything; you give whatever it is you're working on everything you've got and you see it through to the very end. Even when the world is against you, you… you stay strong and work just as hard as ever." His pulse hammered wildly in his throat as a warm rush of emotion swept over him, and he lowered his voice, half-hoping she wouldn't hear. "You've been an inspiration to me for my entire life."
A soft touch on his hand. He looked up to find Zelda's fingers draped lightly across his knuckles as she gazed at him with tears glistening in her eyes. "You… you really…" She blinked rapidly and rubbed at her face with her other hand. "No one's ever said anything like that to me before," she whispered with a warm smile. "I've always thought that… that everyone saw me as nothing but a failure. Especially you."
Link shook his head fervently. "You're not a failure, Princess," he murmured. "You… never were."
"But nor am I successful," she sighed, a shadow falling over her features. Link's heart clenched; she had looked so happy just the moment before.
"Success comes in different forms," he told her, hoping somehow to see her smile again. "It's not measured by skill alone. You succeed every day you keep trying."
She inhaled shakily. "Link, I… I'm happy to call you a friend." Her gaze flitted up to meet his, and a delicate, hesitant smile slowly curved her lips.
"Likewise," Link murmured, lost in her eyes. It was incredible, he thought, how she could look so sad and yet so happy at the same time. His heart ached; he longed to be able to erase the sadness and leave her with only joy.
I love you, Zelda…
\-==/\==-/
There was a cold bite to the air when they left the following morning, and a thick bank of clouds was rolling in from the east. Zora's Domain was high enough in elevation that it received snow in the earlier winter months, along with the Gerudo Highlands, Hebra Mountains, and Mount Lanayru.
Link hoped they wouldn't get caught up in a snowstorm on their way down, but with the chill in the air and the thin sheen of ice on the grand stairways of the amphibious city it seemed more than likely. As they made their way from Zora's Domain, he watched the ground intently, trying to choose the safest path; the elegant stonework was smooth enough as it was, and the ice did nothing to provide traction beneath their boots.
Doesn't help that we're hundreds of feet in the air, he thought nervously as he followed Zelda out onto the Great Zora Bridge. A single misstep could spell our deaths.
All at once Zelda yelped, slipping on a patch of ice and pinwheeling dramatically for balance. Link rushed to her side, his pulse skyrocketing in panic, and she stumbled into him, breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed.
"Careful," he gulped, and she laughed, grinning widely, lingering for a moment in his arms. His heart fluttered.
"With you around, perhaps I don't have to be," she smirked, getting her feet under her again.
The clouds overhead only darkened as the day wore on, and the temperature steadily dropped. Even tightly bundled in their cloaks as they were, the cold seeped deep into their bones, turning their exposed fingers to ice and their breath to fog. As the sun reached its peak and began its long journey downwards, he and the Princess walked closer and closer together until their fingers were nearly brushing. Then as he reached out to help her balance as they walked over a stone bridge glistening with ice perched precariously spanning the opposite banks of the raging Zora River, she held fast to his arm and didn't let go, even after their feet were safely treading soil once again.
"It's cold," she explained with a convincing shiver, looking up at him with cheeks pink from the frigid air.
Link nodded in agreement, feeling a happy little bubble rising in his chest as they continued walking, arm in arm. I can absolutely protect her better this way, he told himself firmly, shoving aside the faint prickle of guilt.
They camped for the night just east of the Ternio trailhead, and Link carefully helped the Princess build a campfire that would burn warm and slow, stacking logs perpendicular to one another in a little tower. Not until the fire was lit, bathing them in flickering orange light, did he realize just how quickly darkness was falling. As the Princess warmed herself at his insistence, he hurried to set up her tent, erecting it as close to the fire as was safely possible.
Night descended, enshrouding them in darkness, and Link roasted a couple of fish provided to him by the Zora before they left that morning (the weather was so cold that he had been willing to take a chance on the fish staying fresh).
"These are… quite delicious," Zelda noted with some surprise after taking her first bite. "Where did you learn to cook?"
Link shrugged, playing for nonchalance, although secretly her praise made that happy little bubble inside of him grow warmer. "Well, I… like food. It helps sometimes. Especially when I was younger, my… training sessions really left me… er, drained. Food helped, and since it's not exactly always around, I taught myself how to make what I liked." His elation faded, and he frowned. "I… haven't had the time to do much of that in the past year, since drawing the Master Sword, so I've… I've been depending on Choice quite a bit more."
Zelda put a hand over her mouth as she chewed. "Your horse seems very fond of you," she said around her food. "Is there… any particular reason behind that?"
Link tilted his head, leaning back. A warm rush of affection filled his heart and he smiled.
\-==/\==-/
"You'll have only the best," Captain Janin insisted, steering Link with a firm hand on his shoulder towards the stables. "And the best mount is a loyal one. How do you suppose one forges a bond of loyalty with his mount?"
"By… spending time with it?" Link offered quietly, craning his neck to look up at his mentor.
"Well, that's not… yes, I suppose," Janin blustered, caught off guard. "In a way. I'd use other words - by training it. Teaching it. Now, we've got a fine batch of yearlings here, all ready to be broken in. Don't look so appalled - that's just what we call training a horse to carry a rider."
"I'll be training one all by myself?" Link gulped. Most of the warhorses he'd seen were huge - tall, heavily muscled, with hooves almost like dinner plates. He was only twelve, and quite small even for his age; the notion of training a massive animal like that was completely petrifying.
Janin saw his expression and snorted. "It's not that bad, Link," he scoffed. "Here - look." He gestured to one of the large, grassy paddocks adjacent to the stables. The nearest contained a large group of young horses nearing their adult size, with legs just a bit too long to be proportionate - legs that they would no doubt finish growing into during the next year. Most were bays and blacks, with a few paints and roans here and there. "See? They're not so tough - yet."
Link inched nearer, feeling a faint stirring of excitement. One of these horses would be his - his to ride, his to raise, his to befriend. This isn't so bad.
"See that black one over there?" Janin said, pointing to a colt without a single white marking on his body jerking his head upwards against the halter ropes his handlers were fruitlessly attempting to guide him with. "That'd be my suggestion for you. His sire was my first horse, and he has every ounce of his father's spirit. He'll take some work, and you'll have to maintain firm control, but… I'd say he's the best of the lot."
Link frowned. He didn't much like the look of that angry black horse. "But… I can choose, right?"
Janin chuckled in exasperation, shaking his head. "Of course. You choose. And what would your choice be?"
Link gulped, surveying the crowd of horses in the paddock. The handlers gave up trying to force the black colt to calm down and let it run free with the other yearlings; at once he darted for a bay filly, nipping at her hindquarters and chasing her around the edge of the paddock. Her ears were flattened and her head was lowered; the whites of her eyes were showing.
Link frowned. In that moment he saw himself in that young mare, driven before Captain Janin's will, driven before the anger of his fellow squires. His heart burned.
"Her," he said, pointing. The black colt at last lost interest in her and she trotted away, towards Link and the Captain. Her brown eyes locked with his gaze for one moment and she half-turned her head towards him as she passed. Link swallowed. "I'll choose this bay mare."
Janin blinked several times, scoffing. "Her? She's weak - you can't make a warhorse out of her! She has no power, no courage -"
"I'll train her," Link interrupted. "I'll work with her every day and help her be brave and I'll protect her -"
"She would become a distraction," Janin growled.
"I don't care," Link said, matching his tone. "She's my choice."
My Choice. The first choice that truly was his.
\-==/\==-/
Link held his hands out to the dancing flames beneath them, revelling in the warmth. His face felt stiff after hours of sitting before the fire, and his body was struggling to decide on a temperature, with heat in front of him and cold at his back.
It was a frosty night; he had no doubt that Zora's Domain and the mountains surrounding it were seeing snow. Down in the valley sheltering their little camp, it wasn't even raining, but clouds still hovered ominously overhead, blocking out the light of the stars and moon, trapping them in darkness broken only by the little fire.
Link sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his face, blinking rapidly. It was getting progressively more difficult to stay up all night long like this, but the alternative - something happening to the Princess while his guard was down - was too terrible to risk. Maybe I'll try -
A soft whimper interrupted his thoughts and in an instant the Master Sword was freed from its sheath as he shot to his feet, scanning the darkness. That was the Princess - is she hurt? Did something get past me?
The Princess whimpered again and he inched closer to her tent, silently undoing the fastenings holding the flaps together and peering inside, every sense on edge. He relaxed slightly when he found that she was alone, but in that moment she awakened with a slight pained gasp. She saw him - the silhouette of a man standing with a bare sword at the entrance to her tent - and screamed, scrambling backwards in terror. "Link!" she screeched.
"It's me!" he said quickly, sheathing the Master Sword and taking a half step closer, raising his empty hands. "It's alright - you're safe. I'm not - no one's going to hurt you."
She struggled raggedly for breath for a moment; then she whimpered again and pulled her knees close to her chest, strangled sobs escaping her lips. Link's heart ached and he took another step forward, two sides warring for control within him. This is forbidden; the King'll have my head - but she's hurting; I need to comfort her - I love her - but my oath, my place at the castle, the meeting to decide whether or not I can stay -
He closed his eyes for a moment, sucking in a deep, shuddering breath. His resolve hardened into steel and he made his choice.
Link walked further into the tent, carefully kneeling at the Princess' side and reaching a tentative hand out to rest on her trembling shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak but found himself utterly speechless when crumpled into his arms, just as she had after the Yiga attack in Gerudo Desert, clinging to him as if he were the only lifeline she had, letting her tears fall to his chest.
His heart hammered uncertainly for several moments and his blood rushed impossibly loud in his ears until, at last, he worked up the courage to put his arms around her, just as he had then. A shaky breath escaped his lips and he closed his eyes, holding her close.
"It's alright," he said again, his voice softer. "I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever."
She clenched a handful of his tunic in one hand, pressing closer to him. "It… it was a dream," she whispered brokenly, her voice muffled. "M-my mother - I… I dream about her d-death quite often, even though… even though it happened so many years ago…"
Link listened quietly, gently stroking the cascade of golden hair tumbling down her back, hoping it was a soothing gesture. I know exactly how you feel.
"W-we were out riding," the Princess explained tearily. "We were both on her horse, Naydra - Dinraal was just a year old; I couldn't… couldn't ride him yet." She drew in a deep, trembling breath and let it slowly out. "W-we were attacked. It was the Yiga, in real life, but - but it changes each time I… each time I dream about it. My mother was injured; I don't remember exactly how because that's something that changes each time, too." She offered a feeble, humorless laugh, a warm rush of tears spilling from her eyes as she clung to him tighter, sobbing harder.
"She fell off of Naydra as we tried to escape," she whispered. "They found her body later - she didn't make it. And - and Naydra died shortly after she got me back to the castle; she had been wounded as well. I was… in shock - I didn't say anything for weeks; I didn't cry." A soft whimper escaped her throat and she gripped his tunic even tighter - which he hadn't thought possible. "I've always felt awful about that - how heartless must I be, to be six years old and not shed a tear at my own mother's funeral?"
Link swallowed thickly; a lump of emotion was forming in his throat. "You're not a terrible person, Zelda," he murmured, rubbing gentle circles on her back. "I… I killed - things - when I was three, but it was either that or die. Sometimes… sometimes we're put in impossible situations and we just have to cope with it as best we can. I'm told I… wouldn't speak for months after I was… found. I didn't cry, either. We were… we were both so young, and the things that happened were so… so sudden, so overwhelming, that we didn't know how to react." He closed his eyes, trying to keep a tear of his own from escaping, and let his head rest against hers.
He felt ready, now. Ready to tell her what had happened. The weight bearing down on him was breaking him apart, especially after listening to her own tale. She had bared her deepest wounds to him - surely that was a sign, if anything was, that she would not mock him or turn on him for explaining about the terror he shared with her. It was agonizing and wonderful at the same time, to realize that she was perhaps the only person he had ever encountered who truly knew how he felt.
"I don't know why we were in those ruins," he whispered. Fear wrapped icy tendrils around his heart; he fought to keep speaking, and hardened his resolve to, just this once, allow himself to be vulnerable to her. "And much of the truth of what happened - well, I doubt I'll ever know. I think you said it once - the nightmares distort reality." He inhaled deeply, internalizing the calming flowery scent of her hair, and pressed on. "I… I think I can piece together the basics. We were attacked in the ruins by monsters. Lizalfos. Somehow I was separated from my parents, and I ran, but… they - the lizalfos - caught up to me. I fought; I survived. I don't know how." He clenched his teeth tightly together, unconsciously tightening his arms around the Princess. "Either morning came, or someone holding a torch found us. I just know that there was light, and I… I saw… saw their bodies. Everything else is just a blur." A blur of anguish, misery, confusion, petrifying terror that bordered on paranoia for a month afterwards at least.
He fell silent, unable now to prevent a few tears from escaping, trickling down his cheeks to drip into Zelda's hair. She released his tunic and instead slowly moved her hand upwards to curve around his neck; she didn't say a word, but she rubbed his shoulder gently, holding him just as close as he held her. The night was quiet but for their shaking breaths as they desperately drew comfort from each other, two lost, broken youths struggling to weather the storms battering their minds, their spirits.
And it was working - Link felt a surprising warm surge of self-worth that he had never experienced before. The Princess understood what had happened to him, what had haunted him for his entire life, and he likewise understood her. They were united in the trauma of their childhoods.
At last Zelda lifted her head from his chest. "I… don't think I can get any more sleep tonight," she whispered softly. "Would it… would it be alright if I stayed out there by the fire, with you?"
He nodded, his arms still loosely curled around her. She gathered up a blanket from her bedroll and huddled within it, and he draped an arm around her shoulder, leading her gently to their little fire. He didn't release her as they sat down, and nor did she make any attempt to move away. Instead, she let her head rest against his chest once more as she gazed into the flames.
They continued in silence, and gradually the rhythm of the Princess' breath evened out; Link looked down and her eyes were closed, her expression peaceful, as she slept leaning against his shoulder, nestled in his embrace. A warm rush of tenderness swept over his soul and he carefully adjusted her blanket to drape more comfortably over her.
There was no use denying his feelings anymore. Not when accepting them like this made him feel so content. Not when his actions could help his Princess look so peaceful.
This is my choice. I love you, Zelda. Din take the consequences.
