XXIX.
As it happened, Amanda discovered another fact of life; that tigers did indeed eat fish.
And it was indeed a good discovery. She'd been having qualms how to feed her new friend. Even though she'd told Rick they'd provide for the big cat, she'd known it was going to be a problem. Yet, she just couldn't leave her there. Just couldn't. Shiva had come to her on herself.
Setting the bucket with fish and a few birds on the ground beside her, she dropped on her knees, her legs finally covered with her trousers again instead of sheer stockings, her bulging stomach almost brushing over her knees. Lifting her head, she smiled at Shiva. "Morning, gorgeous," she greeted the big cat, her hand reaching out to stroke her fur. They'd tied the wild animal around a tree with the chain, and her eyes moved to it, her smile turning to a scowl. She really, really fucking hated shackles, but she'd also promised Rick.
It'd been almost three weeks now since the night Rick had made them burn the damn photo, and Amanda had been happy, mostly.
Rick had been away most of the times looking for guns and suppliers with Daryl, leaving Beth and her behind at the camp. Carl had stayed for a week before he'd turned back to Alexandria as well. She terribly missed them, missed her family, and she missed Judith the most.
She'd never spent so much time away from her baby angel since she'd left Atlanta with Beth. She had tried to talk to Rick a couple of times to return to Alexandria to see her baby, but each time Rich had refused saying it was too risky. She'd told him then to bring Judith back, but Rick hadn't wanted her out of the walls until it was absolutely necessary, and Amanda had conceded. Outside the walls for a baby, with a baby, was dangerous.
But she'd missed her baby so much. Missed her baby smell, missed her whining, missed her watch swaggering to her calling at her mommiiieeee irritated, missed her cries, missed the way her lips pouting… She just missed her baby.
"I missed Judith so much," she told Beth as her friend walked to her, standing a few away from Shiva carefully as Amanda kept stroking Shiva's top of head, her hand vanishing inside her fur.
The regal beast moved her head with Amanda's motions, and Amanda smiled at her faintly again, gliding closer to the wild animal on her knees, almost cuddling the enormous cat. Shiva was huge—especially next to Amanda and Beth, nearly eight feet and more than three hundred pounds, so much Amanda sometimes wondered if she could really ride her if the animal would let her.
She laughed a little as Shiva twisted her head, and patted herself against her, moving toward Amada closer, "Hey, be careful—" Beth almost squeaked, seeing them.
"Hey, look—" she told Beth, shaking her head as Shiva's nose stroke under her chin, "She knows we intent no harm—" She dropped her eyes towards the big cat, "You know who brings you fish, right?"
Shiva moved her head almost in acceptance in return, and Amanda smiled further, "See—come here, pat her—" She nodded at Beth, turning aside, "Even Daryl petted her. C'mon—"
Expected, a sort of wild animal as himself, Daryl was the first one who had tried it. Carl was the second after Daryl. Rick had tried it a week later, when Amanda almost had begged him, slowly, hesitantly giving her a quick pet across her neck. Beth was still hesitant, though, giving wary looks at the big wild animal. "She's fine, and now just docile too. Come." She smirked, "She won't bite."
"No. Thanks. I like her better from here."
Amanda gave Shiva another pet with a sigh. "I really don't like keeping her at a leash all the time. I'm trying to tell Rick maybe I could take her into the woods for a walk—"
"Amanda, you can't be serious. You can't take a stroll with a tiger…"
"Why not?" she asked, "Tigers loves running, hunting. Maybe we should let her do her thing."
"I'm not even going to answer that—" Beth said, sitting down on the ground, still securely away from the leash's length and gave Amanda a look, "Rick won't let us return to Alexandria? Did you talk to him about it?"
"No—" She shook her head, "He says it's dangerous. I know it. But I really missed Judith."
"I missed Sam, too. He must be feeling so alone without us there," Beth said back, "Judith at least has got Carl. Sam doesn't have anyone else."
As Rick and Daryl were spending most of their times on the run or here with them, Sam didn't even Daryl now. Understanding, Amanda nodded. "I was talking to Rick maybe we could go to a supply run together this week," she continued, "They still couldn't find materials for the armors Kingdom would manufacture for us. Daryl said he'd seen a junkyard close to the quarry. We could go there and check it. I feel much better now, and I'm getting a bit too worked up sitting here all day—fretting." She gave out another sigh, "You know me."
The hidden camp—wild forest, untouched beach, all of it was amazing, but as long as she had her family with her. When they were out there, scavenging, preparing while she sat here on her ass, well, Amanda had never been good with waiting. Thank god they still had the long-range radios, so they still managed to stay in connect whenever Rick left the camp or else Amanda must've really lost her mind.
"Maybe we could convince them to drop by Alexandria to see our little ones on the way," she told Beth hopefully, "Rick wouldn't like it, but I'd feel much better if I've got Judith with myself." She paused, "In any case, they'll still need to come here when Rick finally decides to hit the outposts."
They were still waiting.
Amanda knew Rick bid his time, but she would've also felt a bit better if something happened soon enough. To Rick, it wasn't of course waiting, he was out there almost every day, he was preparing, regrouping, but to Amanda, it was still damn waiting.
Besides, Amanda really wanted to talk with this Laura. Somehow, she was feeling the woman might be the key to get Rick to reach the people in Sanctuary. There had to be a way. They needed to find it.
I always find a way, baby—Amanda remembered out of blue, a heat rising to her—a flush crawling over up from her neck, her vision suddenly filling with the ways he'd found to have her that night. Quite impressive, very creative, if she was to be asked, always adaptable, her man.
Another smile tugged at her lips, as something else tugged deep in her core, twisting, getting wet like each time she started thinking Rick. Dropping her hand from Shiva, she let out a sigh. She was getting in heat again—God!
Maybe she was just horny because of her pregnancy… She was in her second semester now, roughly in her forth month, even her bump had begun showing up quite impressively, something was making her feel all giddy. She'd always heard pregnant women had a sex drive, the boost of energy the worst—or the best—kinds during pregnancy because of hormonal changes. They hadn't seen each other for three days—so really, it must be quite understandable that she was getting wet.
Standing up holding her bulging stomach, she wondered if she could get Rick on his knees again in front of her—doing that thing to her with his tongue—or better sit on his face just like the last time—Before her thoughts went more out of the control she drew back from the wild animal, turning to Beth, just as the same time her radio cracked up, "Amanda—do you copy?"
A big smile broke over her lips… She took the radio and brought it up, "And I was just thinking of you, honey," she purred, clinking on the push button with a sly laughter.
There was a brief silence from the other side over the static, and Rick cleared his throat a little, "Uh—we're returning. We'll be there at nightfall."
Amanda smiled again, "Good—" and winked at Beth, "We can't wait." She paused, and went on before he could radio back, "Found anything—"
"Usual. We'll talk when we're back."
"Roger that," Amanda said and severed the connection.
She walked toward Beth, "Let's get prepared."
# # #
The best part of the supply runs was returning to home—or to Amanda, in their current situation—seeing her again smiling at him, bursting with a barely contained energy she hardly managed to hide, her eyes glinting staring at him.
As soon as they took a step inside the cabin, she started revealing him off his dirt, sweat, and blood soaked clothes, pulling his shirt off of his jeans as his hands quickly started unbuckling her belt and trousers, not even giving themselves time to clean up like horny teenagers. Not that Rick minded… He swore her pants under his breath. If—if she'd been still wearing her dress, he would've already hoisted her up in his arms, already finding his way in… He yanked off the belt off her waist, shaking his head, "I really like you better in dresses—" he grunted as she kicked off her boots as well.
She let out a chuckle, her hands working on his shirt— "I bet—" she breathed out as Rick slipped her trousers off her legs, "When I'm back at home, I'm gon' wear dresses for you all time, baby—without nothing underneath—" she said, laughing, her lips started licking his neck, "So I could be under your hand always ready—" She gave out another laughter, "Tactical advantage, eh?"
He grabbed her at her panties, and pulled her eve closer, holding her waist, "You're the damn best tactician I've ever known—" and shot back before throwing her down to the bed.
Five, fifteen, or fifty minutes later, Rick rolled over her to the low cot mattress on his back as Amanda heaved out with deep, laborious breaths, glowing in her orgasmic bliss in silence like always she did, gazing at the ceiling, her body still having tremors. Rick threw his arm over her bulging stomach—not any more a slight sight but arching gently forward, skidding his palm over it. It calmed him just as the orgasms did, perhaps even more so.
His eyes caught a small red scar reaching at the side of her hips as she lay on her back beside him—and Rick moved his gaze up from it—touching her ass as they fucked was a—necessity, they barely registered her scars during sex—but when everything was settled—seeing them still made him—furious, wanting to rip off something.
They'd burned her photo, burned that fucking thing but still Rick couldn't help it—couldn't stand seeing—feeling it.
Flipping on her side after a while, Amanda snugged at his chest as his arms cuddled her automatically, her bump, their babies pressed at his side. This was the way they usually talked about supply runs—after fucking each other's brains out. Rick wasn't complaining… "Not bad. Found half of a dozen guns in an abandoned cabin and a couple of canned fruit."
She made a face. "They're possibly already gone bad," she said with a sigh.
Rick reflected her sigh too, "Possibly."
"Ammo?"
Rick shook his head.
"And materials for armor?" she asked further, "Metal and such…?"
He again shook his head.
She raised on her elbow to look at him. "Rick, darling, do you remember Darly saying that he'd seen a junkyard. Why not we go to there and check it out?" she asked, "There must be even a vehicle graveyard. We could use them for barricades, trenches and use the carcasses for making armors."
Rick gave her a thoughtful. It was a good possibility too. In a waste heaps they could scavenge a lot of materials for building better barricades like she'd said, and they could use steel plates of the scrapped materials. He'd put it back before he had wanted to look for guns and ammo first, but they had to think about other stuff too. "Okay. I'll talk to Daryl. We'll go look around."
Then Amanda said, "We want to come, too—" His eyes snapped at her, "Beth and I—"
"Amanda, no—" Rick said on the automatic reflex, his hand finding her stomach again, "Please—we've talked it before."
They'd talked it many times now, and but somehow, they just kept talking about it more and more. "Rick—"
"You know how dangerous outside it is—" he said, "and you're even showing now."
"Well—" she said then, "You really don't expect me sit in for the rest of five remaining months, do you, Rick?" she asked, "Beside—remember, it's hard to hold my hand when I'm not beside you…" she said, a smile quirking her lips up as her hand found his, "And—and Alexandria's on the way—so perhaps we...uh…might drop by—"
Shaking his head at her, Rick gave her a look. "I knew it."
Her smiled turned into a pout, "Rick—I really miss Judith—please—" His eyes still stared at her, she bowed her head, getting closer to him, rubbing herself across his cheek, along his jawline over —in a way—like Shiva did, scrapping her head over his beard.
Rick let out a chuckle. "You're passing quite of time with that cat, baby—"
She lifted her head from his neck, "Is that a yes?"
Rick looked at her in the eye again, "You can't stay—" he told her to clarify because if he'd had to be honest, the main reason why he hadn't wanted to take her back to Alexandria or Judith to her was that he was afraid if it'd have been made it harder for her—saying goodbye to her baby again. But—but three weeks—three weeks—Rick had known mustering their forces back was going to take a while, but this was getting harder for her.
"I know—" Amanda said, nodding, "I—just missed her."
"I know," Rick told her, holding the back of her neck again to bring her on his shoulder, "Baby, I know…"
# # #
Alexandria.
Home.
Amanda understood it as soon as she put a step inside—feeling it—running through her high, this was her home, where she belonged, like everything in her clinked in again—all missing pieces falling in their places.
But Alexandria was still trying to recuperate from the last attack.
The main gate was still of different makeshift panels welded together between burned beams, the watch platform again had suffered the same fate, dark and burned, and the greens close to the gate had taken their share from the scourge as well from the rocket launcher.
She saw Carl's favorite gazebo at the backyard close to the walls, where he sat at the top of it, watching outside was half burned too, and just seeing it almost made her eyes wet again.
Yet—yet they were alive. They were still here. And it all was going to pass.
Rick took her hand as they stepped out the car and started walking to the house. The townspeople greeted them with enthusiasm as they did, seeing them back again, but Amanda could still see the wariness inside their eyes. If they'd been here, if they'd been really here when Simon had come look for them, all of them meant it could've been a disaster.
Amanda shook the thought away, instead only look ahead. She was here to see her baby. Her little baby angel. How she'd missed it… Everything was going to be okay. She was still half expecting everything turned to bad whenever they stepped out of their comfort zone, but she didn't focus on the feeling—knowing it was only her fears…
Then she saw them—stepping outside the porch slowly, Carl holding Judith's hands as her baby climbed down the steps wobbling quickly, trying to get to her as quick as possible, seeing Amanda walking to them.
She yanked off her hand from Rick and started running to her. Just at the little pathway beside the flowerbeds, she took Judith again in her arms…feeling everything in her clinking… her babies insides, Judith in her arms again, her scent in her nostrils…
Then of course, it happened again…tears started slipping away from her eyes.
It was damn hormones—she was sure of it! Hormones!
She picked up Judith—settling Judith over her bump, like—like she just fit over her bump too—clinked in—and then—almost groaned- "Hey, be careful—" Carl said, "She's getting heavier."
Amanda smiled, "Sweet pie—what they're feeding you, honey?" she asked, lifting her head up—"Wow—my girl's getting so bigger—"
"Mommiee—" Judith said back in answer and made a gesture with her lips throwing herself down at her, "Mua mua—"
Amanda laughed, "Wanna a kiss?" she asked, bringing her baby to herself, and gave her a big, open-mouthed, loud kiss on the cheek, "MUA—"
Sam came out to the porch then, running to Daryl, wrapping his arm over his waist. The usually gruff hunter stayed still for a second as Beth came their side and threw her arms over both of them, too, then Daryl's arms too circled them—protectively—knitted like a family. Amanda smiled further at seeing the scene.
They went inside, altogether, like a big, happy family she'd ever dreamed of.
# # #
Leaving them back at the house, Rick went out to find Eugene. Negan had confiscated the fuel tank when they'd come but they still had gas, as scarce as it was. Fuel—fuel was becoming even harder to find than food or guns, and perhaps was becoming as valuable as medicine. And Rick was damn aware that in a year or so, it was going not going to be found ever again. The comforts of their old world were in extinction. If he wanted to build a future, a real future, a better life, Rick knew finishing this war was only going to be the first step.
No. They—they had to build something—the past…the past the key to their future now. When this war finished, they needed to go to that museum Reg had talked about and found out schematics, drawings, tools and mechanisms from the past. They had to build them from the scratch. They had to tame horses, even bulls, if they could find them. They were going to need wagons, carts, wheels, all the transportation vehicles people used to use before electricity.
Guns, foods, metals, meds—yes, they were all important resources, but none of them was as priceless as the information.
Eugene for that matter was one of the most important resources they had, Rick also knew. He found the eccentric man in the warehouse at the backyard where he'd turned as his workshop.
Rick hadn't seen the man since last week—since when his last drop by, and he was curious now how his preparations were going. His eyes dropped the casket of Molotov cocktails the engineer had been preparing with Rosita, his partner in crime when it came to making things go blow up.
Last week, they'd managed to find out dynamites in another supply run—rigged by the Saviors for dealing with a herd that was coming toward them—possibly an arm of the herd they'd hurdled up to unleash at Sanctuary weeks ago.
They'd gathered the explosives, Rosita managing to disable them, even keeping the herd on the main road for—any—uh—emergencies.
He wasn't still sure of the plan—but perhaps they would still need to the herd to siege Sanctuary inside, forcing people inside as Amanda worked on her own plan. They still didn't know how to get people at Sanctuary know what they truly were offering—a world, a world no one was needed to kneel when it wasn't asked, where everyone was just expected to make their own contribution for a life a bit better—perhaps not only for themselves, but for the next generations.
A part of him still wanted revenge—a reckoning, for all the things they'd done, and he knew that day was also coming. Mercy for the lost, vengeance for the plunderers. The words had been what they'd put out at their gates for the Wolves' attack, and the day for reckoning was coming for Simon and his all followers too, and when that day came, what they'd done, what hurts they'd caused, their crimes will be answered too.
Rick bowed his head and looked at the crate at the floor, carefully stacked the Molotov cocktails again. "How many?"
"Another casket is finished, six—" Rosita replied, "We were just going to move it downside."
Downside.
Scared of another surprise visit, Rick had wanted to hide all their findings, guns, ammo, dynamites, explosives in a trap door they had managed to build inside the church—hiding it a cellar beneath the altar. The idea had come from Gabriel, though, the enigmatic priest telling them God would look after them.
Rick hadn't listened to the words, of course, but people were different when it came to religion, so Rick had taken the tactical advantage.
Rick nodded at the duo. "We're going to a junkyard," he told them then, "Will do a bit scavenging for the metals and materials. Wanna come?"
Springing on her feet, Rosita stood up, "Yeah—" Rick turned to Eugene.
"I surmise my expertise is more equipped here—" the engineer started, but Rick cut him off.
"No—we need your expertise out there too—dealing with materials," he told the man, taking his arm to pull him at his feet, "and don't worry, we wouldn't lose your expertise." Letting the man go, he nodded at them, "We leave in twenty, get ready."
Twenty minutes. They needed to get back to Oceanside before the sunset, and Rick was really couldn't wait summer come again, having much daylight, warmer air, even though it meant more danger.
It was around March now—the spring had already come—even though the weather didn't look like it was aware of it. But soon April sun was going to come, and the flowers would blossom—and then a couple of later Amanda was going to give birth their twins.
The prospect—the childbirth had started giving him new scars at the back of his mind as the day approached fast, but each time Rick had managed to put it back, focusing on what was important. The war, finishing it, getting her back where she belonged—building a better for their children… But—but Amanda's first scares when she'd learned she was pregnant with twins had started plaguing him.
Giving birth twins in their condition—if only he could take her a real hospital—a real one like Grady, where she or the babies could be properly treated if something happened—if something went wrong as it'd happened with Lori—
No.
Rick put the thought away. No. He shouldn't have thought it.
But—but it was happening so fast. The pregnancy. Almost half of it was gone, and Rick could swear it'd passed like a blink, and he was afraid if he would blink another, the other half would pass like that, as well, and he would find her in labor.
Thank god, Amanda hadn't still caught up his worries—and she seemed to be living through a new-found energy zest, her hormones running over her high and wild, her libido emitting out of her every pore. She'd even managed to get him into… radio-sex with her once they'd been apart but in the range in the night— No. She was bursting with life and Rick wanted her stay like that always…like she was supposed to, and seeing her like this was giving him another zest too, the feel of being capable, being in power… He could do this… He could do it…
He found them back in the house, playing with Judith. Carl had found some finger paint from somewhere and sitting over a white sheet in the empty hall's floor they were painting it with Beth, Carl, Judith and Sam. Even Daryl was with them, aside them, not painting the sheet—but just standing close to Beth and Sam, watching them smiling…
"Man, I once saw a painting just like this one—" He looked at Beth as she knelt on her knees, swept the sheet over with her palm—red, brown, and yellow all together— "Told Carol it looked like a dog popped." He pointed at Beth's figure with his head, "Sure like it now."
Tilting her head, Beth pouted, and looked up at Rick, "Rick, can you please tell your friend here not to be a spoilsport?" she asked him nicely.
Rick obliged quickly, "Daryl, don't be a spoilsport."
The hunter chuckled out.
Amada lifted her head, "C'mon, over here—" she called him, lifting her hand, "Make your own contribution to this fine piece of art, honey."
Kneeling down beside her , Rick pressed his palm over the paint too, and made his print just beside theirs. Four palm prints, each different than the other, Judith's tiny one, Carl's bigger one, Amanda's long and narrow one next to his own largest print. Their family.
He leaned aside and kissed her at the cheek. "We're gonna make it again when the babies are born," he whispered her, promising her. They were going to. Two tiniest, littlest prints were going to add up there soon.
Rick was going to make sure of it.
Her eyes found his, a silent, brief understanding passing between, and she almost trembled beside him before Rick leaned again to give her another kiss.
# # #
Leaving Judith again behind was the hardest thing she'd ever done, a part of her still wanting her baby with her. But she couldn't do it, she couldn't take the risk. She knew her baby angel was safer with Carl.
They could only leave after she'd gone to sleep because Amanda hadn't wanted her to cry after her—knowing she would've if she saw Amanda—her mommiee leaving her.
Never!
She would never leave her babies… Never.
God, this really hurt—and she almost burst into tears again, even now, sitting in the car as Rick drove to that junkyard.
Damn her hormones!
She was really turning to a crybaby.
This big crybaby here is Mommy—Rick had introduced her to their babies like that, guessed he'd been right again.
They had in two separate cars. One was filled with them, the other having Rosita, Eugene, and also Michonne as Rick had wanted more manpower with them to go through the junkyard.
She'd been so much in her own feelings she hadn't even scowled that Michonne's participant with them—something she'd never liked even though the woman was a good fighter, or simply because she'd stopped being bothered of the Afro-American woman, she didn't know. Rick loved her—and she was feeling it so powerfully in her every atoms Michonne had stopped being…bothersome. No, she simply didn't like her seeing with Rick now... Rick was hers.
"What?" Rick asked while parking the vehicle, the red pick up getting close to the junkyard.
"Nothing—" she said, smiling at her husband, and stepped out of the car, holding her bumpy stomach.
They were close to the site, a few miles away. They were going to cover the rest of the way on feet like they usually did before they approached a new location, scouting the area first in sheath.
The road to the junkyard was almost unpaved, its asphalt had been trodden away in negligence and by the heavy garbage trucks before the turn. They walked in a steady pace in three lines, their eyes trained ahead, alert as Rick was holding her hand tightly in his grip, like he'd promised.
They walked a quarter or so at the deserted road, lined by trees, Rick squeezing her hand every now and then before suddenly they heard it—at first faintly—somewhere…in the air.
All of them stopped, heads bowed in concentration to hear it—closer as their hands went to their arms protectively. Rick held the string of his rifle tightly, rising the weapon a bit higher, getting ready to position as Amanda unholstered her own. "What's that?" Daryl asked, rising his gun too, his crossbow hung at his back.
"I don't know—" Rick said, as others followed their examples as the sounds got closer and closed, "It's like—like—" He faltered, lifting his head, and Amanda did too—recognizing it— "Like—propeller?" he asked.
Then they saw it—a sight that Amanda thought they would've never seen again—a sight from a world they'd lost.
A helicopter.
A helicopter was passing over their heads.
A little bit interim for a little world-building, and they finally saw the helicopter for the first time. I tried to play this chapter as the opening act of the new episode after a mid-season finale, which was the last chapter.
They will meet with Jadis and her people with the next chapter. The show didn't still explain a lot what the hell is going on with helicopter(and CRM) and I've never watched the Fear of Walking Dead, so I'm going to use my own ideas using the comic lore for that. Frankly, I even don't know what will happen myself much, I only have some ideas. I hope to figure it out while writing :)
