Chapter 26

Quinn was walking up and down her hotel room, every once in a while stopping in front of the mirror on the wall and scolding at her reflection. She felt angry at herself for allowing Rachel to make her uneasy once again, but at the same time she was excited and her heart pounded in joyful anticipation whenever she thought about the day she was about to spend with her ex-girlfriend.

She thought back to the conversation she had with Santana the day before. "Just calm down and see what happens," she repeated Santana's advice. "Just see what happens," she sighed and almost got a heart attack when she heard a loud knocking on the door.

The blonde placed a hand over her chest and inhaled deeply before she walked towards the door with weak knees.

"Hey," Quinn said and couldn't help but smile slightly when she saw Rachel with her hands behind her back, looking up at her shyly.

"Hi."

"Uhm, do you want to come in for a moment?" Quinn asked, not sure what else she could say.

"Well, actually, I thought I'd show you my new apartment. I mean, if you like?" Rachel replied, making it sound like a question, even though Quinn had given her full control over the plans for today.

"So you found a new place," Quinn said and nodded. "Okay, I'll just grab my purse and we're set to go."

Three minutes later, the two women found themselves inside the elevator going down from the 30th floor. An uncomfortable silence had fallen over them. Quinn kept her eyes on the decreasing numbers on the display above them, but she felt Rachel's eyes burning into her.

When they reached the 23rd floor, the elevator stopped and a group of business people got on, forcing Quinn to take a step back. Unfortunately, she slightly lost her balance and if it hadn't been for the two arms grabbing her shoulders in just the right moment, she would've bumped into the other people.

"Careful," Rachel said and smiled, not removing her hand's from Quinn's shoulders. Her face was close to her own, so that Quinn could feel her breath on her own face.

"T-thanks," she uttered and stepped back a little, so that Rachel had to let go of her.

Quinn redirected her eyes to the display and focussed her attention on the numbers appearing there. But the more she tried not to think about anything else, the louder the beating of her own heart resounded inside her head.

When they had finally reached ground level, Rachel took the lead and got them a taxi in front of the hotel. She told the driver the address and they spent the drive in silence. Quinn didn't dare to look at Rachel, but she could feel her gaze on her from time to time.

The blonde looked out the window, taking in the early summer scenery of New York City. They passed by a corner Quinn hadn't been to in a while. When she saw the home decor store, she thought back to the day she had bumped into Rachel unexpectedly right there.

XVXVXV

January 2017

Wooden picture frames for only two dollars? Quinn picked up one of them from the shelf so she could get an idea of its quality. Not bad. Maybe she should buy a couple for their walls which were still empty even though it had been a long time since she moved to her current place.

She shot a look towards the end of the store where she saw Lola checking out each product. Hopefully she wouldn't try to buy everything again. Quinn liked the kind of minimalist style of their apartment.

The blonde wandered over to the next shelf at the special offers section when suddenly her heart jumped at the sight of the person in front of her. "Rachel?" she said incredulously.

Even though she had only seen her backside, she knew it was her. The brunette turned around and looked at Quinn in surprise. "Q-Quinn? What are you doing here?"

"A friend recommended me this store, so I came to buy some stuff for the apartment," she replied mechanically as her thoughts took a roller coaster ride. She had never expected to see Rachel here of all places. Actually, she had almost expected to never see her again. What should she say? How should she act? And why was she even nervous? She was finally over her after all.

"And you? What brought you here?" Quinn asked while she took in the brunette's appearance. Her hair and make-up looked a little messed up, but no wonder looking at the rain outside. Otherwise she was still perfect. However, the look in her eyes seemed kind of off. Quinn wondered whether something had happened, but she figured she shouldn't bring up such a topic at the beginning of their conversation.

"I just stopped by on my way home," Rachel replied.

"You know, they say in New York you never run into someone incidentally. Guess they were wrong, huh?" Quinn smiled as she tried to sound less nervous than she inexplicably was.

Rachel smiled, but didn't reply. Maybe she didn't feel like talking? Or she didn't want to talk to her? No, they were adults after all. They should be able to have a normal conversation, right? Nonetheless, Quinn could feel her nervousness getting the better of her and right at that point she couldn't imagine anything but a cigarette to help her calm down.

"Mind f we stepped outside for a minute?" she eventually asked after Rachel hadn't said anything.

"In this weather?"

Quinn felt bad about asking her for such a favor since the weather was indeed terrible and no one would've spend more time than necessary outside, but she felt like she didn't have many other options. "I just need a quick smoke. I'd be happy about your company," she said, trying to push away the feeling of guilt.

To her relief, Rachel agreed, so they stepped outside and Quinn didn't even hesitate to share her thankfully huge umbrella with Rachel. As soon as they made one step out of the door, rain started streaming down from all sides, leaving them in their own little space.

"Since when do you smoke again?" Rachel asked and Quinn couldn't quite figure out whether she was scolding her or just curious.

"Since the day you kissed me and left," Quinn replied honestly. Why not be honest about everything, now that she was over her feelings for Rachel?

The look on Rachel's face was priceless - and kind of cute - as she stuttered: "Uhm, I-"

"Don't worry, I would've started smoking anyway," Quinn interrupted her. She had no idea whether that was the truth but she didn't want Rachel to feel guilty about it. "So how have you been doing?"

"Not bad," Rachel said and smiled weakly. "How are things going for you?"

"I just finished my first project a while ago. As a co-composer for an indie movie soundtrack," Quinn answered before she took a long drag from her cigarette. Finally, her nervousness started subsiding, if only a little bit.

"Wow, that sounds amazing," Rachel said. "I'd really love to hear your music someday."

Quinn smiled as she imagined bringing Rachel to her apartment and play her some of her soundtracks on the piano. She wondered what Rachel would think of them and whether she understood emotions and nuances Quinn had tried to capture. But wouldn't it be weird to offer her to come over? Especially after all those years of sparse contact?

"I'll let you know once the movie hits the theatres. I'm sure some arthouse cinemas will show it," she replied eventually. In the end she wasn't brave enough to jump over her own shadow and just act natural around Rachel.

Rachel nodded and they were silent for a couple of seconds until Quinn noticed Rachel's shivering. She scolded herself mentally for not being more attentive. She should've noticed Rachel was only wearing a thin jacket which was not at all appropriate for the cold rain that was pouring down on New York.

"I'm sorry, Rach. Just let me finish this quickly." The cigarette didn't help much anyways after all. Just when she was about to throw it to the floor, Rachel placed her hand on Quinn's forearm and stopped her. The weight of Rachel's hand on her arm was light, but due to Quinn's hyper awareness of every type of physical contact she shared with her, it felt like a rock that was pulling her towards the ground. Yet, at the same time, she didn't want her to remove it. Ever. But Rachel pulled her hand away quickly as if she had just burnt herself on Quinn's coat-cladded arm.

"No it's okay, don't worry about me," she said.

Quinn looked at her trying to figure out whether she really didn't care or whether she was just being polite. Or could it be that she wanted to spend more time with her? But her demeanor didn't point in that direction. She thought back to high school when she had believed she knew everything about Rachel. Maybe she never had, but it had definitely felt easier than now. But despite these changes, when Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes, she could see high school Rachel Berry in them. Faint and blurry, yet, clearly existent. If only that image wouldn't bring with it those feelings she had shoved into a small drawer in the farthest corner of her mind.

Without even thinking Quinn handed Rachel the umbrella, put the cigarette into the corner of her mouth and removed her coat. She wrapped it around Rachel, careful to place it comfortably on her shoulders as it was quite heavy. When Quinn looked up from her hands which were holding the edges of the coat, she looked directly into Rachel's eyes and suddenly her heart started beating faster. For the briefest moment, the image of herself leaning forward and closing the small distance between their lips flashed through her mind. She didn't even notice that she had started smiling at the thought.

'Should I just try it?' she thought. 'There is nothing to lose after all.'

However, before she could muster up the courage to follow her heart, she noticed Rachel's lips forming her name while at the same time someone called her from behind.

"Quinn!"

Rachel and Quinn turned towards the source of the voice. Quinn sighed when she noticed Lola stepping outside the store. That woman had the worst timing.

"I searched the whole store for you," her roommate complained.

"Sorry, Lola," she replied even though she wasn't sorry at all. She let her cigarette and along with it her courage to kiss Rachel drop to the wet ground. The spark had already died before she started grinding it below her boot.

"I ran into my former classmate Rachel, so we were catching up," she added. "Rachel, this is Lola, my roommate."

"Nice to meet you," Lola said and held out her hand.

"Hi," Rachel said and shook it.

"Here I got us some stuff," Lola said and showed Quinn the contents of of a white paper bag. Quinn didn't feel like admiring the useless decorations she had bought, but since she didn't want to be rude, she expressed her appreciation for Lola's purchases. Her thoughts, however, were glued to the brunette standing next to them.

"I-I really got to go," Rachel suddenly said. "Thanks for the coat," she added and shoved it into a puzzled Quinn's arms. Quinn couldn't react for a few seconds, but when realized Rachel was literally running away from her, her physical abilities finally came back to her and she managed to call out Rachel's name.

"What's her deal?" Lola said next to her, but Quinn didn't register it. All she could do was stare at the passing crowd and wonder whether Rachel would be fine without her umbrella and coat.

XVXVX

"Quinn?"

"Huh?" Quinn was pulled out of her thoughts as a hand was waved in front of her face.

"Time to stop daydreaming. We're here," Rachel said and smiled.

Quinn looked around and noticed that the taxi had stopped. She smiled apologetically and took out her wallet, but Rachel stopped her. "I already took care of it." The brunette opened the car door and jumped out of the car and Quinn followed her after a second.

When she stepped out of the car, she felt a light breeze on her skin. She looked at Rachel, who had rounded the car and was walking towards one of the high rise buildings lining the street. Quinn noticed how the wind went through her hair and tugged on her wide floral blouse.

Maybe it was the memory from before that had touched Quinn somewhere in her heart. Maybe it was the scent of commencing summer that reminded her of the start of their relationship. Whatever it was, it didn't matter, for all Quinn knew was that when Rachel turned around and smiled at her over her shoulder, she had fallen for her all over again.

And in that moment Quinn realized that loving Rachel Berry was like a one way street. Once you were in it there was no turning back.

Quinn took a deep breath as she tried to pull herself together before she followed Rachel into the building.

"It's not as big as Mrs. Green's apartment, but at least the neighborhood is safe and clean," Rachel explained while she opened the apartment door. "Come inside."

"I'll show you around," the diva continued without waiting for Quinn to reply. The blonde just nodded, but Rachel had already turned around again.

"This is my bed slash living room," she said and pointed towards the queen sized bed in one of the corners and the small sofa that was placed near the window. However, Quinn's eyes were drawn somewhere else.

"You got a piano?" she asked and walked over to the instrument which was bathed in the sunlight coming from the southern bound window.

"Can I take a look?"

"Yes, of course," Rachel replied and smiled. "I bought it as a gift for myself after saving some money from my first salaries."

"Where did you get this? It's marvelous," Quinn acknowledged as she let her fingers slide over the carvings at the edges of the still closed piano keyboard.

"I bought it at an auction for old musical instruments. I didn't know at the time, but it was an import from Japan and only a couple of dozens of these were produced around thirty years ago."

There was a short silence before Rachel added: "You can play if you want." Quinn hadn't realized how close the brunette had gotten; she didn't turn her head, afraid she'd look right into Rachel's eyes. Instead she removed the lid and traced her fingertips over some of the keys.

"I'm not sure what to play," she confessed and finally glanced at Rachel who was right behind her now.

"Did you finish the song you played for me once? You know, the one you wrote for a movie?"

"I always write songs for movies," Quinn replied as a smile played around her lips. "Be more specific."

Rachel sat down on the piano bench, her thigh slightly brushing against Quinn's.

"I mean the one you played for me after we got soaked in rain. And-" Rachel leaned towards Quinn's ear and smiled. "Before we first had sex."

Quinn gulped as she became hyper aware of Rachel's proximity. She couldn't help but think back to that day which unavoidably involved the image of a very naked Rachel in her bed.

"I did finish it, but it didn't really fit the movie I had written it for," Quinn said and trained her eyes on the keys in front of her. She didn't dare to look at Rachel directly, because she was afraid she'd lose control over the situation.

"Can you play it for me?" Rachel asked.

Quinn nodded. Even though it had been a while since she had composed the song, she knew each and every note by heart, because whenever she had worked on the piece, her mind had always been full of Rachel.

She raised her hands and let her fingertips touch the keys. She hesitated for a short moment, because the situation suddenly felt so surreal to her. Here she was sitting in the middle of Rachel's apartment as if nothing had ever happened. But something had changed. She wasn't sure whether it was something inside her or something about Rachel's energy, but the heavy-heartedness she had always sensed was gone. It was as if someone had removed the black and white filter from a picture and now all the bright colors and lights were visible.

Quinn took a breath and pressed the keys. The song started slowly and calm, but the farther she got, the more intense it got. At some point she closed her eyes and just focussed on the emotions she had felt when she had written the song. As she neared the end, her movement became slower and her heart was pounding loudly in her chest. After she had played the last note, she slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Rachel.

The brunette was studying her with an unreadable expression.

"Why is it," she eventually said and traced some of the piano keys with her right hand, "that you are so much better with music than with words when it comes to expressing your feelings?"

Quinn frowned and tilted her head, not sure what Rachel meant.

"This song, you thought about me when writing it, didn't you?" Rachel asked, pulling back her hand and resting it in her lap.

"How did you know?" Quinn asked.

"Just a feeling," Rachel replied and curved her lips into a hesitant smile.

"So why do you think I'm better with music than with words?" Quinn looked down on her own hands she had now intertwined in her lap. She could feel Rachel's eyes studying her profile and she wondered how she looked in the brunette's eyes.

"You're not easy to read, Quinn. Neither am I, I guess. I never knew you liked me that way when we were in high school. And afterwards it took us so many years to finally try to be together, although we could've have it all much earlier. But even when we were together I failed to understand you fully."

Quinn felt Rachel's eyes leave her face and out of the corner of her eye she saw her looking out of the opened window across from them. Rays of sun were falling through the sheer white curtains and a light breeze caused them to sway lazily.

"But this song, it makes me feel everything you must have felt back then. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels as if you were hopeful and afraid, happy and sad, calm and restless at the same time. Yet, to me you always felt like a calm, steady constant during our time together. I thought that you were strong and brave, unlike me, but during the last months I've realized how hard it must've been for you too. I failed to see how afraid and fragile you were. I expected too much from you."

Rachel turned her head towards Quinn again. "I'm so sorry, Quinn."

Quinn was stunned. Rachel had summed up all the things she had always wanted to express in just a couple of minutes. And everything she said was right.

"Look at me," Rachel whispered and suddenly her hand was cupping Quinn's cheek and Quinn had not know until that very moment how much she had longed for this touch.

She raised her head and looked at Rachel and what she saw was Rachel how she had wanted to see all along. The distress that had used to cloud her eyes was gone as was the invisible weight that had seemed to loom on her shoulders the past couple of years. Rachel looked at peace, innocent even as she returned Quinn's gaze and the golden sunlight shimmered on her dark hair.

"I have one question," Quinn said, her voice almost a whisper.

Rachel tilted her head, but didn't remove her hand. "What is it?"

"On the drive here, I thought back to the day we met at that home decor store, you remember?"

Rachel nodded and waited for Quinn to continue.

"When we were interrupted by Lola, you called my name, right? What did you want to say to me?"

Rachel smiled. "I wanted to ask you whether I could hug you."

"And I wanted to kiss you," Quinn replied, almost breathless. Despite the scene still feeling somewhat surreal, she had never felt more alive as she leaned forward and captured Rachel's lips with hers.

They both inhaled sharply when their lips met as if they had been pulled out of deep water and were breathing in for the first time again.

Quinn cupped Rachel's cheeks and pulled her closer and when the brunette let out a sigh she used the opportunity and slid her tongue into her mouth. Quinn darted even closer and let her hands wander towards the side of Rachel's ass to pull her flush against her.

Rachel's lips didn't leave hers for even a second when she swung one of her legs over the blonde's lap and fully straddled her on the narrow piano bench.

Quinn drove her hands under Rachel's shirt and held her firmly in place, even though the feeling of Rachel's bare skin beneath her palms made her dizzy and lightheaded.

After a couple of moments, Rachel pulled back and Quinn was just about to protest when Rachel grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over hear head, revealing her stomach and bra-clad breasts.

She smirked before she lowered her head and started sucking lightly on Quinn's exposed neck.

"You know, you can touch me if you want," she whispered into the blonde's ear.

Quinn had to restrain herself not to moan at Rachel's words as she started moving her hands higher towards her bra.

Just when she reached the clasp, Rachel suddenly lost her balance and her butt landed on the piano followed by a loud dissonant sound.

The two women's eyes found each other and after a second of stunned silence they burst out into laughter.

"How about we take this to bed?" Quinn said and raised her eyebrows.

"But it would be quite sexy to do it here, wouldn't it?" Rachel replied and leaned forward again, her lips close to Quinn's.

"As much as I'd love to take you on this piano, I don't think the thing would survive that," Quinn laughed.

"I guess you're right," Rachel sighed playfully, took the blonde's hand and led her into her bedroom.

A/N: One more chapter to go!