Remus looked a mess when he returned two days later, worse than usual. The four of us were in the common room, along with half of Gryffindor house, when Remus stumbled through the portrait hole. He was obviously taking great care in attempting to be quiet but his steps were wobbly, and he very nearly fell over. Sirius leaped to his feet to grab hold of him and hoist him up, as did James on the other side. As the other Gryffindors looked on with a sort of wide-eyed fascination, the pair of them hastened to bring Remus up to the dorm, with Peter and I scrambling after them.

Upstairs, James followed Sirius' lead in helping Remus into pyjamas. I turned around to face the wall as they undressed him. "What happened?" I heard Sirius ask in concern.

Once I turned around, my eyes widened in horror. There were cuts and bruises all over Remus' legs and arms. I hadn't noticed before the silver-pink glare of scars that marked Remus' skin, but seeing him like this, I realised there were many. Blood oozed thickly from a cut across Remus' temple. "We need to bring him to Madam Pomfrey," I said worriedly.

Peter was staring, wide-eyed from his bed, "Was there a fight?" he asked. But none of us answered him.

"Pomfrey can't help, she can't heal werewolf bites," muttered Remus weakly. He was shaking so hard he couldn't button his pyjama top, so Sirius quickly did the buttons up for him.

"Werewolf bites?!" Peter's voice was shrill, "That's a werewolf bite?!"

James' voice trembled, "You - er - you saw another… one?"

I look horrified, "Were you attacked?" I rushed to Remus' side.

Remus shook his head as he struggled into bed, "In a manner of speaking, I s'pose… I attacked myself." He couldn't fix the blankets, so I did it, tucking them 'round him carefully.

"You're a - a - a - werewolf?" Peter stammered, voice shaking with nerves. "But you - you shouldn't be in school - the law-"

Remus gently touched the cut by his temple and winced at the pain of it. "I know all about the laws, Peter, as they're to blame for my condition in the first place."

"But you're dangerous!" Peter squealed, "An XXXXX rated magical creature, according to Fantastic Beasts!"

Remus stared down at his hands, the tips of his fingers bloody from touching the cut, as Peter said this and I spotted a tear glimmering in the corner of Remus' eye.

"Shut up, Peter," said Sirius.

"But he could bite any one of us!" Peter said, frenzied.

"Peter! Shut up!" I yelled, grabbing the boy by the collar and slamming him against the wall. I don't exactly know what came of me, but I know I'd never be able to have the strength to do that normally. Must've been the adrenaline. Peter was trembling and blubbering.

I heard Remus begin to cry behind me. "Oi, see what you've done?" I let go of Peter and pointed to our suffering friend.

James went to the water pitcher on the table by the door and dipped a handkerchief from his desk drawer into the water. Carefully, he turned back to Remus and gently pressed it to the cut on the side of his face. Remus tilted his head up so James could clean the wound.

"Why did you attack yourself?" Sirius asked.

Remus said, "It's just a part of it. There's just so much violent energy and it's got to be spent off some way, and I'm alone out there. If a werewolf has no distraction, he'll attack himself."

"Doesn't it hurt?" I asked, "Why wouldn't you just stop when it hurts?"

"Yes, but rationality isn't exactly a werewolf's strongest attribute, you know," replied Remus.

James had wiped the blood off Remus' face as best he could and he put the cloth down on the nightstand. Peter looked at it with disgust and a bit of fear, crawling backward, away from it, as though the cloth itself was diseased. I looked over at him with an expression of distaste, I couldn't believe how awful he was acting!

"I still don't understand," Peter stammered from the farthest corner of his bed, "How are you at Hogwarts! Werewolves aren't allowed at the school."

"Dumbledore made special arrangements," explained Remus.

Peter shook his head, "It wouldn't be up to only Dumbledore, though. It has to be a legal matter, the Ministry would never allow it. They'd see your name on the registry and-"

"I'm unregistered," answered Remus. I wasn't even aware there was a Werewolf Registry.

"But the law! Newt Scamander passed it in the 40s! We learned about it in History of Magic!" Peter cried, fearfully, "You have to register!"

I scoffed, "Hours of you snoozing in History of Magic, Peter, and that's the one thing you actually remember?"

"My father didn't register me," Remus replied rather numbly.

"But he's a ministry official!" Peter argued, "He should know better!"

"He wanted a better life for me than what the law allows!" Remus said, "He didn't understand - he didn't know - what it was like to - to live with Lycanthropy before. He tried to repeal the act but it didn't work, alright? He wanted better for me but I'm bloody well not any better for it, am I?" Remus' voice was hot with passion, "I'm just a freak and everyone ought to be afraid of me, the awful terrible werewolf, ought to be exiled! Ought not to be allowed to have friends or anybody who cares about me, huh?" Tears stung his eyes.

"I'm just… I… you just... " stammered Peter, "It isn't safe!"

"Forget it!" Remus shouted, "Just forget it. Go tell everybody in the school if you want to, I don't give a damn!"

Peter fell backwards off his bed, then scrambled for the door. James hastened to grab Peter's arm to stop him. "We aren't telling anybody!" said James harshly, glowering at Peter, "And if you know what's good for you, neither will you."

"Yeah, Remus," Sirius said. "We aren't going to tell anybody."

Peter struggled against James' grip. "But he's a werewolf," he whined in a small voice.

"Nothing's changed," I said, "If Remus was going to attack us, he would've done it by now, wouldn't he? He's been a werewolf all along and you haven't been attacked yet!"

"But you can catch it, I heard, just by being near-" he looked at Remus apologetically, "-one."

"Rubbish!" exclaimed Sirius. "Right?" he added, turning to Remus.

Remus nodded, "You have to be bitten by a werewolf on a full moon. He has to be turned, and the bite needs to be quite deep or the venom won't take. More people die of werewolf bites than are turned…"

"That last bit might not be helpful in calming him down, mate," said James.

I sighed. "The point is, Peter, he's not putting any of us in danger being here. Dumbledore's in on it! You'd have to be daft to think Dumbledore didn't think it all through and how exactly how to keep everybody safe! Right Remus? You wouldn't hurt any of us, right?"

Remus said, "If I ever hurt anybody, I - wouldn't be able to live with myself ever again." he frowned deeply. "It's my greatest fear, what I am, what I become."

Peter relaxed in pulling toward the door and James let him go. The five of us sat there 'round the dormitory in silence for a moment. "Hang on," Peter said suddenly, looking up, "Is that why you've been disappearing every month? To go change into a werewolf?" his eyes were wide.

"Yeah," Remus answered. "Dumbledore has a safe place I can go, where I can't get back to hurt anybody, and it's worked alright. It's lonely, but that's better than hurting someone."

Peter nodded.

"Is it scary?" I asked.

"Remus shrugged, "Before I understood what it was that was happening, when I was small, it was scarier then. I know what to expect now, know what's going on. It's just… well, it hurts. A lot."

"I'd think so, look at those cuts and bruises you've got!" said Sirius.

Remus shook his head, "Not even including them, the actual turning hurts. It's murder! You get all rigid and your spine changes. Your bones feel all jelly-like and they start stretching in ways they shouldn't, and your skin gets bubbly as the hair grows out and… it's quite horrible."

James was pulling a face from his seat on the floor. "Sounds horrible!" he agreed.

"And that isn't even the worst of it… the worst is when you lose your mind." Remus' eyes were unfocused, and he started blankly at the foot of his bed, utterly sad. "You just forget who you are and you feel all… all empty and you're so angry and lost that the only thing left to feel is hatred and violence."

Sirius shook his head, "Sounds like a dementor."

"Dementor?" I asked, "What's that?"

"Guards at Azkaban, the wizarding prison. They're awful. Like great black ghosts, like death himself, and they suck all the happiness out of you," Sirius replied. "My cousins used to tell ghost stories about them at family reunions. To scare the younger kids. They thought it was right funny, giving us all nightmares." Sirius shook his head.

"They suck happiness out?" Peter asked, his voice awestruck and wobbly with fear. "How?"

"It's how they eat," replied Sirius. And suddenly it seemed as though he was launching into a ghost story himself. He got up from where he'd been sitting, perched on Remus' desk chair, and waved his fingers menacingly as he approached Peter, arms raised up over his head, "They glide through the night, silent as your breath, their cloaks rippling through the dark… they get up real close to you," he was leaning within an inch of Peter's face, "And then they inhale it in…" Sirius took a deep, rattling breath, "...pull it right out of you…" another deep breath, staring right into Peter's eyes, "And, if you've been sentenced for the ultimate punishment, they'll kiss you."

"K-k-kiss me?" Peter whimpered.

"Come off it, Sirius, we gotta sleep in the same room as him," James said, pulling Sirius back by his robes, "Don't scare him, he'll be up all bloody night."

"Yeah, they'll kiss you," Sirius said darkly, backing off of Peter and returning to his perch on the desk char.

"There's no dementors here," Remus said to Peter, "They aren't going to kiss you?"

I instinctively hugged a pillow. I was more curious than scared, though, "What happens to you if they do kiss you, though? Does it kill you?" I looked to Sirius for an answer.

"Worse," Sirius said.

"Worse?" gasped Peter.

"Oi, Black, it's you who's sopping up Peter's bedclothes after he's soiled them if you keep it up," warned James.

"A dementor's kiss sucks out your soul," Sirius finished dramatically.

"Sucks out my soul, woah…" muttered Peter under his breath, quite terrified-looking.

Sirius tipped the chair back so it leaned on only two feet and plopped his legs up on the end of Remus' bed. "Like they say, though, Peter, there's no dementors 'round here. They'd never allow them at Hogwarts. They only go for the really bad guys, they're under ministry control off at Azkaban. You've got nothing to worry about." He waved his hand at Peter dismissively.

Remus shook his head.

"Just was saying that's what changing to a werewolf sounds like to me," Sirius finished.

"Or like being imperiused," James agreed.

I looked at James now. "What's that mean?"

James turned to me, "It's being under the Imperius Curse. It's forbidden magic, where the user can make people do their bidding. It's like mind control or possession, sort of. It's mighty hard to shake off, too, even powerful wizards have loads of trouble."

I shuddered. Remus, who'd been about to take a sip of water, choked quite loudly and spluttered water all over. The four of us looked up at him, worried. "Imperiused! That reminds me! Blimey, how could I have forgotten? I talked to Bilius the other day, before I left, and he was telling me about his fight with Malfoy… he reckons Malfoy's been imperiusing Tutman!"

Remus explained the whole story as to how Bilius and Derek had come to that conclusion - frequently punctuated by outbursts of shock and awe from Sirius. When he finished, we all sat quietly for a moment, and I considered what these new revelations meant. I looked 'round at my friends. "Should we tell McGonagall or Dumbledore what we know?" I asked.

"Bilius says he's tried and they think he's bonkers," replied Remus.

"Well what if Malfoy's got a plan to get the Dark Lord here to Hogwarts and Tutman's the key?" James asked.

Remus frowned. "I mean, we don't even know for sure what's going on, I think until there's more evidence they aren't going to take anybody serious about it. If they aren't listening to a sixth year, they'll never listen to first years."

I nodded, "So we need to find out what's in the prefect's toilet."

Sirius nodded, too. "Tonight," he said.

"Hang on, what? You want to go off down to the dungeons tonight? To break into a toilet?" Peter was quite astounded.

James nodded, "With the invisibility cloak."

"We've got to! It's the only way to prove Malfoy is up to something!" Sirius exclaimed.

I looked at Remus, "Are you up to it, though?"

Remus hesitated. "If I rest until then I should be alright," He answered, nodding.

Sirius looked around. "How about you, Peter, are you in or are you out?"

Peter swallowed back his nerves, then, "In," he squeaked nervously. "I'm in."

"Alright," Sirius said. "Then we go to the dungeons tonight."

Since stuff goes DOWN on this day, I'm chunking it up into multiple parts!

Q&A:

TheUnderooes asks, "I would like Sabrina to be paired with Remus but Sirius having a crush on her. Everything other is good. Literally my heart almost stopped beating when I saw the heading. It's just a dream coming true!

I hate to burst your bubble, but unfortunately no romance will be happening in first year because, well...they're eleven. But I will PROMISE you feelings will start to happen among the group quite early at the beginning of next year! But in terms of ships, I won't reveal anything specific, but I will say you are not 100% off. In terms of the heading, I'm confused as to what "the heading" is. Not on you, I'm just dumb sometimes lol. But thank you so much for your kind words!

MyBeewing, the ever-lovely and consistent reviwer says, "So, the cat's out of the bag! (though in this case, the werewolf, really) If I remember well, the Marauders didn't guess until second year, so is "the Animagi timeline" going to change? Even then though, there's something going on with Tutman, so I suppose they won't think about it until second year at the very least. I wonder what Sabrina's nickname will be? Anyway, great chapter, I hope you update soon!

Ironically, someone on AO3 asked a very similar question about how the animagi thing will work. Yes, you're correct: in canon, the marauders discovered Remus' furry little problem in second year, and by fifth year they successfully became animagi. My reasoning for making the revelation come sooner is one: to cause extra angst and drama muhahaha, and 2: I always thought that it was a little strange that it took the boys nearly an entire YEAR at least to figure out what his deal was: I mean they were LIVING with him! Also with the inclusion of Sabrina, the world is going to deviate from canon in quite a few ways, so you won't be able to predict how the entire story will play out. For instance: will Peter still betray the Potters? Will Sabrina be paired with someone? Will Jily, Snilly, or even WOLFSTAR happen? I want to keep things fresh. I don't have the specific timelines planned out, but I have a general idea of what major events will be different. For instance, Harry will have a VERY interesting childhood but shhh you didn't hear that from me.

Wow I'm rambling, sorry. The animagi timeline will, in fact, be shifted a bit as a result of this. But there is NO animagi stuff in first year, because let's be real, that wouldn't be realistic. The group's priority this year is going to be Tutman-y. In terms of Sabrina's marauders nickname, that's one I'm still mulling on. I've already decided what animal she's going to be, but I'm having LOADS of trouble deciding a nickname that doesn't sound Mary Sue-y. I'm actively working against making Sabrina a Mary Sue, so if she ever seems to get like that I give you all permission to yell at me!

Thanks for reading all this,

Jedigirl18 ^-^