A/N: In which Gibbs deals with an inebriated Jenny, and we prepare for the trip to Russia.


As Jenny examined the broken step of the porch of their safe house, she noticed a slight movement from the corner of her eye. She'd told Gibbs that she was going back to grab a change of clothes, and while she hadn't exactly lied, she hadn't told him her primary reason for wanting to return to the house, either. Straightening up, she pushed her long red hair out of her eyes and when she noticed Lorraine Lutz working in the small garden of her house, she waved.

"Lorraine!"

The young woman glanced up, a smile lighting up her face as she waved back, and she beckoned her over.

"Hi, Jennifer! We hadn't seen you in a few days. Thought maybe we scared you off."

Jenny shook her head as she made her way closer to the house and smiled.

"No, Mark just doesn't want to stay in the house until it's repaired. He's a bit overprotective sometimes."

Lorraine nodded.

"Believe me, I completely get that. Ed never lets me near anything that could be considered dangerous. Drives me insane."

Glancing over her shoulder, Lorraine gestured to the house, smiling at the redhead again.

"Would you like a drink? Ed was just pouring a couple, we'd love it if you could join us."

Jenny smiled. This was going to be easier than she'd thought.

"Sure."

Following the younger woman into the house, Jenny silently prayed that Gibbs wasn't keeping too close a watch on the time she'd been away. The last thing she needed was for him to barge in and ruin her plans.


Decker frowned at the pictures as he rifled through them, still searching for their target. It didn't help his nervousness that Gibbs was standing nearby, and when he glanced over at the team leader, his eyes widened. Unless he was losing his mind, there was a hickey quite clearly visible on his throat, and Decker nudged Burley discreetly. He nodded his head in Gibbs' direction and once Burley's eyes found what Decker had wanted him to see, he frowned.

"Be right back," Gibbs said quietly, "I'm gonna see if Shepard's made it back yet."

They nodded, and as soon as he was out of earshot, Burley smacked Decker's arm lightly.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep."

"You don't think they—"

"Nah," Decker shook his head, "Probably did just enough for a believable cover. With everything that happened to Jenny last month, I don't think she'd be so quick to sleep with anyone. Especially not Gibbs. He's got what, twelve years on her? Definitely not her type."

Burley shrugged.

"That cop she dated was six years older than her."

"True, but I don't think she'd do that. Gibbs is our boss. She's too uptight to cross that line, even if she was attracted to him. Personally, I think she might be into you, Stan."

Looking at him as though he'd gone insane, Burley shook his head.

"Me? Red hates me...or at least, hates the idea of being with me."

Decker shrugged. He knew that Jenny wasn't the least bit interested in Burley, but he wasn't going to let on that he'd noticed the way she and Gibbs looked at one another. In truth, he thought that Gibbs needed someone like her to challenge him, and he wasn't going to do anything to stand in the way of that. Even if it meant lying to keep their secret.

"Hey, Will, when's Ducky due to arrive?"

Reaching for the file near his hand, Decker skimmed it quickly.

"Day after tomorrow."

Gibbs walked back into the room, looking more than a little annoyed and Burley frowned.

"What's wrong, boss?"

"Shepard's not back yet. She said she was going to get a change of clothes. Shouldn't have taken this long."

"Maybe she got caught up talking to that Lutz woman. You know how women like to talk."

Gibbs nodded thoughtfully. Maybe Burley had a point. After all, Jenny was the one who had a way with words.


"So, what do you two do? Work-wise, I mean."

"I am a deacon of the church," Ed answered with a smile.

"Oh, wow, that's nice. Notre Dame?"

He nodded.

"I can't even imagine working in a place so beautiful," Jenny said earnestly.

"You should have seen Lorraine's face the first time she saw it. I wish I would have had a picture."

Lorraine smiled.

"I had to pick my jaw off the ground. It's incredible."

Jenny nodded, taking a small sip of the wine Lorraine handed her.

"What about you?"

"I'm working on a novel right now. A ghost story, looking into all the supposed haunted places in the country."

The redhead smiled weakly. She didn't much care for the idea of ghosts. She'd been haunted enough throughout her life. Lorraine stood up suddenly, pulling out a small bag from a box on the coffee table, and Jenny frowned. The small papers that accompanied it told her exactly what it was, and as the younger woman finished rolling the joint, she smiled at Jenny.

"I hope you don't mind if we smoke. It really helps us relax."

Shaking her head, Jenny took another drink.

"I don't mind. After all, this is your house."

Lighting it up, Lorraine took a long drag and passed it to her husband, holding her breath for so long that Jenny was beginning to worry. When she exhaled, she blew the smoke away from her, and Jenny's eyes widened when Ed held it out to her.

"No, thank you."

"Oh, come on, Jennifer. Surely one hit wouldn't kill you."

Jenny shook her head, smiling apologetically.

"I really shouldn't."

Lorraine shrugged and took it back, drawing the smoke into her lungs. Though she knew the idea was absurd, Jenny found herself becoming immensely curious, and before she had realised it, she held out her hand.

"What the hell?" she muttered.

After all, she wasn't Jenny Shepard right now, and who was to say that Jennifer Nielsen didn't enjoy a nice high on a beautiful summer afternoon in Paris?


Gibbs couldn't stop himself from checking his watch again, and when he realised that over an hour had passed since Jenny had left, he found himself worrying. The last time she had been late for something, it had nearly resulted in her death. Decker could feel his increasing anxiousness radiating off of his body as he paced the room, and sighed.

"I'm sure she's fine, Gibbs. You know how women are when they're in a new place. She's probably shopping."

"Shepard isn't like most women."

"True, but even Jenny isn't immune to the city of romance."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and slapped him so hard that his teeth rattled as he made his way to the door.

"Shutting up now."


As she listened to Lorraine recount her childhood paranormal experiences, Jenny found herself wondering if perhaps she had merely been paranoid when she'd distrusted the couple. They had welcomed her into their home, shared their stories (and mind-altering substances) with her, and so far, she had found nothing unusual in the way they acted. She laughed as the younger woman explained that the first time she'd seen what she thought was a ghost, she had tried to throw a rock at it, and Lorraine shrugged.

"How was I supposed to know? I was seven! It just sailed right through him, and he looked at me like I was stupid. Come to think of it, I was pretty stupid."

Ed wrapped his arm around her and kissed her hair gently as Jenny took another hit off the joint and passed it to him.

"You are not stupid, Lorraine. You chose to marry me, after all."

Jenny laughed, and when she stood up, she tried to ignore the way the room seemed to spin.

"This has been so much fun, but I'd better get going. My husband will think I've fallen into a well or something."

Lorraine stood and hugged her gently, giving her a bright smile.

"Be careful on your way back. Hey, bring Mark with you next time. I'd love to get to know him better."

Jenny nodded.

"I'll give it a shot. Have a good night."

She knew, as she walked back to their safe house, that Gibbs was going to be furious with her for being gone so long, but as she stumbled up the porch steps, she found that she really didn't care.


When he heard Jenny walk through the front door of the house, Gibbs was immediately on high alert, listening for any sounds that she wasn't alone. She very nearly screamed when she saw him standing in the kitchen and he glared at her.

"What the hell, Jen? You've been gone for over an hour. Do you know how worried we were?"

She shrugged.

"I was busy."

"Doing what, exactly?"

Stepping away from him, she staggered to the refrigerator and when he saw how unsteady she was on her feet, he frowned.

"Are you drunk?"

Jenny shook her head, her long hair falling into her face.

"Nope. I had one glass of wine with Lorraine and Ed. Thought I could find out more about them, see if they were hiding anything."

"And?"

"They're clean, Jethro. A little weird, and hippy-ish, but clean. She researches ghosts and writes about them and he's a deacon at Notre Dame. They're nice. Weird, but nice."

There was something off about the way she spoke, and when she stumbled into his body, he realised what it was.

"Jen...are you stoned?"

Again, she shook her head, but her laughter did little to ease his suspicions.

"Exactly what did you mean when you called them "hippy-ish", Shepard?"

She looked up at him, and when he took in her bright eyes, he sighed.

"Damn it, Jen. You're high as a god damned kite!"

He had no idea if Decker and Burley were watching them on the cameras and as he steered her toward the front door, he soon found that an inebriated Jenny was difficult to deal with, regardless of whether it was alcohol or weed that had dulled her mind.

"Come on, Jen. We need to get back to the attic."

She pouted, trailing her lips along his throat.

"Too far to walk. There's a perfectly good bed upstairs."

He shook his head, pulling her through the door and as they walked, she hung onto his arm, rambling a mile a minute. He could hardly keep up with what she was saying, and then suddenly, her words registered in his distracted mind.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"About what?" she asked with a laugh.

"Just a second ago. Something about Ed noticing strange activity."

"Oh..." she laughed again, her head falling onto his shoulder, "He said that he'd noticed a lot of foreigners hanging around the church. Said they spoke a hard-sounding language, but he couldn't tell what it was. My guess is either German or Russian."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he walked, not wanting to attract attention as they made their way back to the hotel where he'd left Decker and Burley. She laughed as he lifted her into his arms and when he knocked on the door of the agent's room, Burley frowned as he opened it slowly. Gibbs walked past him without a word, pointedly ignoring Jenny's incessant talking, and when Decker looked at them, his expression was so confused it was almost comical.

"What the hell is wrong with her?"

Gibbs set her on her feet, grabbing her arm when she stumbled, and she leaned on him heavily. Her eyes lit up when she noticed the other two agents in the room, and she walked over to Burley, hugging him gently.

"Hi, Stan."

"Um...hi, Red. You okay?"

She nodded.

"Hey, have you ever noticed how ironic your last name is?"

He frowned, looking over at Gibbs in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"Your last name...Burley. You aren't exactly a big, burly guy, Stan. Kind of ironic."

He stared at her as she laughed, and glanced at Gibbs worriedly.

"Boss, what's wrong with her?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"She's stoned out of her mind."

"Someone drugged her?"

Again, Gibbs shook his head, and Jenny looked at Burley seriously.

"Nope. Ed and Lorraine told me that it would help me relax. They were right. This is amazing."

Jenny raised up to kiss Burley's cheek lightly, and Gibbs tried to ignore the feeling of jealousy that flared up within him. He reached for the redhead's arm, leading her to the door and sighed as he looked at the two younger men.

"I'm gonna take her back to the attic and let her sleep it off. While we're gone, check out the crowds near Notre Dame. Ed Lutz told Shepard that he's noticed an unusual amount of foreigners in the area."

They both nodded, exchanging a concerned look when Gibbs led Jenny away.

"Never in a million years would I have thought Jenny Shepard would get high."

Decker snorted.

"Gibbs is gonna have his hands full dealing with her."


As soon as the attic door shut behind him, Gibbs glared at the redhead standing next to him.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Jenny shook her head, staring at him in confusion, and he sighed.

"What the hell were you thinking, Shepard?"

"Don't...don't call me that. After everything we've gone through, I've at least earned the right to be called by my first name."

He nodded and she continued.

"You want to know what's wrong with me? I'm tired, Jethro. I'm so tired of being the responsible one. Of being the one that everyone comes to when they need something. Just once, I wanted to know what it felt like to let go of everything and not have to worry. Do you know what that's like? I've never been able to relax before, I have to plan everything, I can't just run on pure instinct like you can."

As her words registered in his mind, Gibbs suddenly felt very sorry for his young agent. She'd always conducted herself in a professional manner, even when they'd gone out for a drink after work, she hadn't allowed herself to fully lose control, and he had never stopped to consider what it took out of her. She was young, not yet thirty, and yet she had the wisdom and personality of someone much older. He knew she hadn't endangered their mission, not really, and he frowned as he realised that he may have judged her a little too harshly.

She was looking at him, waiting for a response, and finally he nodded.

"You're right, Jen. You deserve to be able to be calm every now and then. No one should feel so anxious all the time. You don't need to be perfect."

Her head shook sadly.

"Yes, I do. I don't know how to be anything else."

He reached for her waist, pulling her close to him, and brushed his lips over hers slowly.

"I'll teach you."

"Jethro?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

He smiled, running his hand through her hair.

"You're welcome."

She leaned into his embrace and for a moment, he was worried that she had passed out. He glanced down at her in concern and she sighed heavily.

"Why does your name sound like something from The Beverly Hillbillies?" she asked suddenly.

He laughed, kissing the top of her head gently.

"I dunno, Jen."

Pulling back to look at him, Jenny raised up on her toes, her lips meeting his in an urgent kiss. His arms wrapped around her, and when he lifted her off the ground, she laughed, her forehead resting against his.

"I feel like I'm flying."

He nodded.

"Yeah, I'm told that's what happens when you're stoned."

He laid her on the mattress and when she pulled him down with her, he frowned.

"Jen, wait. We can't."

"Why?"

"I thought it was obvious. You're not thinking clearly."

She shook her head.

"You should feel special. Even when I can't think straight, I still want to sleep with you."

Though he couldn't exactly fault her logic, he still shook his head as he looked at her.

"I wouldn't feel right," he said carefully, wanting her to understand.

"Will you at least kiss me?"

"Now, that I'll do."

He kissed her slowly, his hands winding into her long hair, and when her tongue swept into his mouth, he had to remind himself of why he had refused her. She made his head spin, feeling as though he were high himself, and as she moaned into the kiss, he ran his hand over her thigh. Her hands found his waist, pulling him closer, and she hooked her leg around him, trailing her lips along his throat.

Gibbs knew that if she kept going, there was no way he could stop himself from giving her exactly what she wanted, and he pulled back, looking into her eyes seriously.

"We have to stop."

"No, we don't. I'm dying to know what it feels like to have an orgasm while I'm high."

He shrugged.

"Probably the same way it does when you're drunk."

She frowned.

"I wouldn't know, then. I've never had sex while I was drunk before."

He stared at her, unable to believe that she was serious. He knew that she lacked the ability to lie at present, and he laughed lightly.

"Really? Hm...I might need to fix that. It makes you less skeptical. You don't overthink anything. Honestly, it's perfect for an over-analyzer like you, Jen."

Jenny moved so suddenly that he didn't have time to react, and before he knew what had happened, he was staring up at her in shock as she leaned over him. Her lips were warm on his throat, her tongue lightly tracing patterns over his skin, and as her hands moved down his body, his eyes closed of their own accord. She wasn't surprised to feel his erection when her hand brushed over him, and she smiled as she moved her hands under his shirt.

"Come on, Jethro...it wouldn't hurt anything. I'm perfectly willing to give my consent here."

He shook his head, trying to ignore the way her hair spilled over his chest.

"I can't, Jen. It just wouldn't—"

Her lips silenced his protests and when she moved her hips, he moaned at the pressure and friction. It was getting more difficult to refuse with each passing minute, and he knew if he didn't get control of the situation, he was going to lose.

"Jethro?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to do something for me."

He frowned, trying to look at her as she kissed his throat.

"What?"

"If you won't sleep with me, touch me."

"Jen—"

She brought her lips to his ear, her breath warm on his skin.

"I'll even beg if you want," she whispered, "Please touch me."

He flipped them, unable to handle their current position any longer and he stared down at her seriously.

"You're killing me here, Jen."

She pulled him down, her mouth capturing his, and when she reached for his hand, he broke away, shaking his head.

"Not tonight, Jenny. Not like this. I just can't."

Jenny sighed, nodding slowly, and when she turned onto her side, he knew he wasn't imagining the shaking of her body. She wasn't crying, but he could feel her anger like heat. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, and as he laid next to her in the dark room, he was suddenly very worried about what the morning would bring.


When Jenny opened her eyes to find bright sunlight streaming through the attic, she was more than a little confused. She had no idea how she'd gotten there, nor how long she'd been there, and when she noticed Gibbs looking out the window, she frowned.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

He glanced at his watch.

"11:36."

Turning to look at her, he made his way closer, his bright blue eyes locking on hers seriously.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired," she answered slowly, "Kind of dizzy, everything is really hazy in my head. What happened?"

"I'm not surprised. Do you remember any of last night?"

Thinking hard, Jenny finally shook her head and he sighed.

"You went to check out Lorraine and Ed Lutz."

"Yeah, that part I remember. I don't remember leaving their house. Jethro, what's going on?"

He sighed, handing her a bottle of water. She took it warily, twisting off the cap and he waited until she had finished drinking before he continued.

"You had a glass of wine with them, and then for some unknown reason, you decided to smoke with them."

She frowned.

"What? I've never even touched a cigarette before, why would I—"

"I don't know, Jen. I wasn't there. You told me that you needed to be able to relax. Well, it worked. You were as high as the Eifle Tower last night."

"Wait...I was...you mean it was...oh, fuck..."

Her head fell into her hands and he ran his hand over her back gently.

"If it makes you feel any better, you did get some information from Ed that Decker and Burley are looking into. Even when you're stoned, you still managed to get the job done. When you weren't trying to sleep with me, that is."

She raised up to look at him in horror and he fought the urge to laugh.

"Which reminds me, I need to get you drunk and then sleep with you."

"What? Why?"

He laughed quietly.

"Just something you said last night."

She moaned, laying her head on his shoulder in embarrassment.

"Oh, god...what did I say?"

"Told me you'd never had drunken sex before. It's something everyone should experience once in their life, so I'm making that my next mission."

Shaking her head, Jenny moaned again and when she raised her eyes to his, she was surprised to find laughter shining in the sapphire irises.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

He shrugged.

"Not often that I get to see my agents stoned out of their mind."

"How could I have been so stupid? Even to keep a cover in tact, that was so irresponsible."

Her words from the night before came floating back to him, and Gibbs frowned.

"Sometimes, it's okay to not be responsible, Jen. You don't have to be perfect. I told you that when you were learning Russian. Don't overthink everything. Just try to let go."

Something clicked in her mind, and Jenny stared at him sadly.

"You said that to me last night."

He nodded.

"Yeah. You were pretty upset."

"It doesn't take much," she admitted.

He reached for her hand, running his thumb over her skin lightly.

"I know you've gone through a lot over the past two months, but you're strong enough to get through this. Without getting high. I'll do whatever I can to help you, if you let me, but you have to tell me when."

Jenny nodded, her eyes focused on their entwined hands.

"Will you walk me through that grounding exercise again?"

He gently maneuvered her body so that she was laying with her head across his thighs and his fingers slowly wound into her hair, massaging gently.

"Do you remember the first step?"

"Five things I can see?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, but that might be a bit difficult in this room. Give it your best shot."

Her eyes scanned the room and she sighed.

"The camera, the window, the tripod, your bottle of water on the floor, and my shoes in the corner."

He smiled at her, nodding his encouragement.

"Close your eyes. Four things you can feel."

She was silent, breathing slowly, and when he noticed her breath becoming more rapid, he frowned. Her body was shaking in his arms and he shifted just enough that he could see her better.

"Jen?"

Still, she didn't answer, and he shook her shoulder gently.

"Talk to me, Shepard...what's going through your mind?"

She shook her head and he slowly raised her to a sitting position, his fingers brushing her cheek softly. Her head was down, and he tilted her chin upward, wishing she would open her eyes.

"Look at me, Jen."

"I...I can't."

"Yes, you can. I know you can. Open your eyes. You've got this."

Slowly, her eyes opened, locking on his, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

"What's going on? Walk me through it."

"I don't...I don't know. I just feel like I can't breathe. My heart feels way too fast."

He took her wrist in his hand, clocking her pulse and frowned as he realised that she was right. Her heart rate was severely elevated and he placed his hands on her shoulders, laying her back down.

"I want you to take slow deep breaths, okay? Count to ten. Can you do that?"

She shook her head and he tapped her cheek lightly.

"Yes, you can. Don't you give up on me now, Jen. You're better than that."

As he walked her through the breathing, Gibbs kept his fingers on her wrist, counting her pulse in his head. Gradually, it began to slow, and when he was finally satisfied, he leaned down to kiss her softly. He ran his fingers through her hair and he gave her a smile when she glanced up at him.

"Jesus, Jen...you really do need to calm down. Ever thought of taking something for it?"

She glared at him and he laughed.

"I'm only joking. Partly. Just keep taking slow breaths, and we'll start the grounding exercise again."

Jenny nodded and he began where he'd left off. This time, she was able to make it through without panicking, and when he pulled her up from the bed, she fell against his chest, her fingers curling around his shirt.

"What's wrong with me, Jethro?" she whispered.

He kissed her hair, running his hand up and down her back soothingly.

"Nothing. This is your first major undercover assignment, and it's going to be stressful. Just remember that you're not in this alone, and we will get through it."

A quiet knock at the door made them look up and Gibbs gestured for her to stay where she was. Peering through the crack of the door, Gibbs frowned when he noticed Burley on the other side. He opened it slowly, glaring at the other agent.

"Uh, boss, we found out that the crowds of people around Notre Dame are linked to the arms dealers we've been looking for. And Decker matched one of the guys boarding the trawler last night to a man named Anatoly Zukov. Russian. If we leave tonight, we should be able to get there not long after he does. Oh, and Ducky isn't coming just yet. Something came up Stateside. Not sure how long he'll be delayed."

Gibbs nodded.

"We'll just have to move without him, then. Good work, Burley."

Burley stuck his head around the older man, looking at the redhead sitting on the mattress.

"Hey, Red. How's it going?"

"Hi, Stan."

She said nothing else, and he shrugged as he turned back to the team leader.

"Decker's got the files with everything you'll need to know for your Russian covers. I'll bring them by as soon as I can."

"Thanks."

Gibbs closed the door and when Jenny looked up at him, he smiled.

"Hope you've been practicing your Russian, Jen."

She shook her head, a strange look forming in her eyes as she beckoned him closer.

"I think I still need a little practice on how to use my tongue properly."

As soon as he was near enough, Jenny pulled him to her, her tongue finding his immediately. He pushed her back down onto the bed, and when he stopped kissing her, she frowned.

"What?"

"Now I can give you what you asked for last night."

Kissing her again, his hand went to her jeans, pulling the zipper down swiftly and when his fingers brushed against her, she moaned quietly.

"Jethro?"

"Hm?"

"Don't hold back."

He nodded and kept touching her, using the lace of her underwear to provide a friction that was painful but delicious at the same time. Her head fell back as her hands gripped him tighter, and as their clothing was thrown into various corners of the room, Jenny couldn't remember a time where her skin had burned so hot with a fire that couldn't be seen.


A/N: The majority of this will take place in Russia, which is partially why it might seem a bit rushed. Things are going to slow down and be more in-depth from here on out. Hope you enjoyed.