AN: Bucky's big interview has arrived, I found this quite hard to write at times. There is some panic attack, anxiety, PTSD mentions, just to make you aware. Don't be afraid to leave a comment, thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from Marvel Comics world, which is trademarked/owned by Marvel/Disney. All characters created and owned by Marvel and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of Marvel. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story. Just a story based on great characters. I only own any original characters.

Chapter 31: Cereal Killer

Week 1: Monday

'Did you get a memo?' Steve asks as he walks into Bucky's room. Bucky looks up from his couch, he's lying with his arms folded behind his head, trying to keep calm and in control for his interview. 'Yeah, but I'm not on the call sheet, not required.' Steve stands at the end of the sofa looking down at his best friend, 'yeah, well I am, and the briefing I just got back from makes me think it could be a long one.' Steve checks his watch and sighs. Bucky catches on quickly, 'she will be here in thirty, can't you hang on?'

Steve huffs, wiping his face with both hands, mumbling 'it'll be touch and go. Nat won't be impressed.' Bucky sits up and twists, so that both his feet are planted on the ground, with his palms clasped together between his legs.

'How long?' he asks, staring at the floor. Steve sits beside him, 'I don't know, maybe a couple months?' Bucky nods slowly, he knows it's not that long, but it's the most they have been apart since he started his recovery and he knows at least two other people who will find it a long time.

There's silence in the room and Steve coughs awkwardly, 'you, uh, will look after them? You know, just keep an eye out.' Bucky knows exactly who he means. He agrees with his eyes and a nod, but remains silent, eventually asking, 'Christmas?' Steve sits back on the sofa and looks at the ceiling, 'if I'm lucky.' Steve checks his pocket for his phone and considers messaging Amelia, in case he doesn't get to see her.

Steve relaxes on the couch, 'I've never had a reason to not go, Buck.' Bucky looks back at his friend and his eyes are closed, he looks in turmoil with himself and Bucky nudges his knee with his own. 'They will be here when you get back, all smart ass and wise-cracking, maybe the kid will have some more teeth by then, or less I guess?' Bucky's attempt at humour only serves to remind Steve that he will be gone for a while and miss so much. Bucky tries to lighten things, 'come on, I know you have done longer, this is nothing.' Steve looks at him, 'but she's not expecting this, we've been lucky so far.' Bucky understands, 'she will get it, punk, work is work. Who else is going to save the world?' A voice in Steve's head suggests, someone else. He looks to the ceiling, 'we had plans, Brooklyn at the weekend. My list…' he wanes at the end of the sentence.

Steve sighs loudly and makes a move to leave, Bucky stopping him with his hand, 'I swear, Steve, you'll regret if you don't say bye, tell Romanoff to wait.' Steve nods in agreement and reaches for his phone, calling Nat. Bucky looks over at his friend, 'uh, say? Did Amelia mention anything to you, about Andi and I?' Steve waits for the phone to ring, looking at his best friend in confusion, 'only that you two seemed to have fun on your date.' Bucky nods, confident Amelia didn't mention the next morning, there's no way Steve wouldn't charge in there and lead with that.

Amelia steps off the elevator with Rosie wriggling in her arms, desperate to get down. 'Rosalyn, stop it,' Amelia is balancing her bags and Rosie, it's reminiscent of her first visit. She tries to tug at her skirt, feeling it rise above her knees.

When she looks up, she spots Steve, he looks serious and she places Rosie down, who runs straight for him. 'Hey, are you ok? There was a message at reception to come up? Is it Bucky? Is he ok? We can cancel, screw the channel.' She rambles on and Steve just smiles, scooping up a happy Rosie and holding her in his arms, she cradles his neck and plays with his hair, chanting his name, 'Stevie, Stevie!' Steve reaches out and strokes her tiny cheek. Amelia looks panicked, 'Steve, what is it? You're worrying me.' He tilts his head towards Rosie and looks up at Amelia's wide eyes. 'I've got to go away for work.' Amelia eyes him suspiciously, 'right...' He pulls on one of Rosie's curls and she giggles wildly, he smiles, 'it could be a little while.' Amelia's brow creases, 'how long exactly?' Steve shrugs and buries his nose in Rosie's hair, making her laugh. Amelia can't focus, in between Rosie's giggles, the sweet scene before her and Steve's sad words. She must look confused as Steve adds 'maybe a month, could be up to three.' Amelia's mouth hangs open and then she regains self-control, adding confidently, 'that will fly by, it will be fine,' she smiles at Rosie, as if asking her and simultaneously keeping her sad gaze away from Steve.

'Morning,' Bucky mumbles as he shuffles into the lounge, he's dressed in a black suit with a black tie. Amelia smiles sadly at him and reaches out to squeeze his arm, happy to see him. Bucky looks down at her hand and wonders when he became ok with the physical contact she so frequently offers. Rosie calls to him and scrabbles to leave Steve's arms. Amelia halts her, 'Rosie, Steve is going to be working for a little while now, so we might not see him as much, say bye-bye for now.' Rosie nods animatedly and leans in to hug Steve, pinching his nose she says 'bye-bye.' As he hugs her back he looks a little upset and Amelia wonders if he's coming back at all, it all feels a little serious. Bucky nods for her to follow and Steve places Rosie on the floor, she runs to follow Bucky.

Steve watches them and then looks back at Amelia, he grabs her arm and quickly darts around the corner, so they have a moment of privacy. 'You probably won't hear much from me, just look after yourself. If you need anything come to the Tower, ask Bucky, Natasha, God, ask Tony if you have to.' Amelia laughs lightly, 'you are really scaring me, you're coming back, right? Also, you know that I'm an adult, a single mom, I have a job and I can look after myself?' Steve pauses and his eyes shift, then he nods 'I know you can look after yourself, sorry. Yeah, I'll be back, hopefully in time for the holidays.' Amelia's eyes open wide and she obviously just made the connection, a month away takes them to Christmas and longer takes them into an entire new year.

She sniffs and throws her arms around him, encasing Steve in a hug 'we will be here when you get back. Nothing will change,' she says it so confidently. Steve relaxes into her embrace and too soon Bucky appears in sight, giving him a look that says time to go. Bucky steps away before Amelia can see him and Steve pulls apart from Amelia, leaning in to kiss her soundly. Amelia looks surprised and then jests, 'no, I don't think I can let you go, I've changed my mind.' She grips his arms and Steve laughs, the humour easing the tension. Amelia looks embarrassed, biting her lip, debating a question, 'I know the timing isn't good, but, do I look alright? I'm pretty nervous, but don't tell Bucky, I want him to trust me.' Steve looks down at her, matching skirt suit, blossoming blush on her cheeks, nervous smile. Steve nods slowly as if considering it, 'you look great, he's in safe hands.' Steve gently kisses the top of her head, 'say bye to Andi for me,' he offers before squeezing both her hands and kissing her cheek once more. 'Don't forget me, soldier,' Amelia smiles and offers a salute. Steve strokes her lip with his thumb and mutters, 'not possible.'

Amelia strolls back to the lounge behind Steve and she watches him say goodbye to Bucky, shake his hand and hug him quickly, ruffle Rosie's hair and spare one final smile for her. She offers a small wave and observes him get into the elevator and leave, watching him until the doors close. She stands there for a moment and hopes it will ding and reopen and Steve will reappear. But there's just silence.

Bucky comes up behind her, Amelia's arms protectively folded in front of herself and suddenly it feels cold. She turns to him, shaking herself back to reality, 'oh well that's not the morning I expected.' Bucky rests a hand on her shoulder and she leans into him. She's too busy thinking about Steve to even pick up on the kind gesture. Rosie runs over to them both and asks 'where's Stevie gone?' She looks around dramatically, Bucky stares at the little girl sadly, unsure of how to answer. Amelia's voice slices through his thoughts, 'I guess we better get going, drop this monster at the daycare,' she says playfully, pulling a face at Rosie and making her giggle. Rosie appears to forget Steve and Bucky nods an affirmative, leaning forward, summoning the elevator. Amelia smirks over at him, 'glad to see you have clothes on this time.' Bucky just cringes next to her, 'about that...' Amelia puts her hand up, 'please, let's not relive it.'

Once the doors open, they step in, Rosie running fast for the buttons. Before her mother can stop her, she has hit at least six and Amelia sighs as the doors draw closed.

Once Rosie is signed in at the nursery, Amelia meets Bucky to head for the junket room. 'You look nice, very formal.' Bucky looks down at his black suit, matching tie and white shirt. 'Is it too much?' he asks worriedly. Amelia smiles kindly, shaking her head, 'no, but we do look a bit like Mulder and Scully.' She laughs at her own joke and Bucky wonders who she means. 'Rosie said I look funny?' Amelia looks apologetic, 'sorry, kids, hey? Ignore her, you look lovely.' Bucky raises an intrigued eyebrow, smirking at her 'lovely?' Amelia brushes him off.

There's a few moments of silence and Amelia looks at her shoes glumly. Bucky suddenly assures her 'he will be fine.' Amelia looks up into Bucky's genuine gaze, 'oh I know, I know!' She resumes her silence, then exhales, 'let's hope so. We've all grown quite fond of him. Anyway, I should be reassuring you, it's your interview.' He offers a half smile, 'thank you for not saying it's my big day.' She nods in understanding and they go back to looking at nothing.

When the elevator opens, Andi is there waiting, armed with a tray of hot drinks and a wide smile. She looks confused, 'shit, who died?' They both look at her and offer weak smiles. 'I know what's wrong with you, but you were fine when I left this morning?' she asks looking at her sister. Amelia sighs loudly, 'it's nothing. Just Steve, he has to go away for work. Actually, he's gone already, just left.' Andi shoves the drinks towards Bucky, taking her own and ignoring the rest. Turning her full attention to Amelia, she asks, 'how long for? When will he be back?' Amelia shakes her head, 'could be months.' Andi puts a hand to her chest, 'gone for Christmas? Well, that's just cruel and I will tell Stark that. Not that I ever see him.' She pauses and looks at her sister's sad face, wrapping an arm around her and reaching for another hot chocolate, she passes it to Amelia. 'I'm fine, don't make a fuss. Let's get this done, yeah?' Bucky sighs and looks at the interview room door, debating if he can still get away.

Natalie comes out of the press room and looks at the three of them, her smile slipping. 'I can tell this is going to be fun. What the hell is up with you lot?' They just look at her, making no effort to move. 'Come on, chop chop!' She ushers them inside, showing Bucky to his seat. He fiddles with his tie relentlessly and shifts around in his chair. Natalie comes up to him with a compact, 'maybe just a little blush,' reaching for him with a brush. Bucky ducks his head from side to side and looks horrified. He reminds himself that batting her away with a metal hand could be dangerous. Andi comes up beside her, 'I don't think so, Nat.' He looks at Andi gratefully and then stares down at his palms. Bucky sighs, thinking he's had enough already.

True to her word, it is just a skeleton crew, Amelia asking questions with Natalie and the camera guy, Tom. Natalie strolls away and Andi asks Bucky, 'you doing ok?' He swallows audibly and nods. 'You will be fine, Bucky Blue. Just be your charming self and long dark locks will be the new thing by the end of the week.' Bucky rolls his eyes at her and wonders if she is ever serious. 'Are you happy for me to sit in?' she asks, he looks surprised, 'I guess so, Steve was meant to, but…' he trails off, he's just realising he's on his own now. Andi picks up on it and whilst tightening his tie, whispers, 'you have us, we are all on your side.' She kisses his cheek and wanders off towards Natalie. Tom smiles shyly at Bucky, 'too late to get out of it now,' he offers meekly and Bucky just looks at him, double taking, 'huh?' Tom mutters 'nothing' and races away.

Amelia settles into the chair opposite Bucky and reaches forward, resting a hand on his knee. 'You will do great. It's not live, we can stop whenever you want, it's just a chat.' She smiles and leans back, flipping through her paperwork, she looks up with a raised brow, 'there's not many people I would do this for, Barnes.' Bucky looks down coyly and his hair falls into his eyes. Natalie walks into the shot, 'that won't do, you can't see his handsome face!' Bucky looks surprised and almost looks around for another handsome face. Natalie suggests, 'can't we pin it back?' Andi looks excited, 'oooh, you mean like a man bun?' Bucky frowns, 'a man… bun…?' Andi digs in her pocket and walks over to him, 'trust me,' she says as she walks behind him and scrapes his hair into a half up bun. Bucky jumps a little at the contact but mentally chastises himself, reminding himself it's just Andi. Andi stands back and admires her work, 'and if you weren't already a heart breaker.' Bucky just looks concerned, reaching to touch his hair and Natalie tries to slap his hand away. Amelia giggles at the pair, readjusting her heel and cursing her choice of a brand new pair.

Tom hovers over Bucky and his eyes widen at the sight of the metal hand flexing on the arm rest. Natalie coughs exaggeratedly and warns Tom to look away with her eyes. She then counts down and there's a click, indicating the start. Bucky can see Amelia sat directly ahead of him, Andi leaning against the wall just behind her and Natalie and Tom to the right of him. Amelia begins with a friendly smile, 'Thank you for meeting with us, so, first off, what shall we call you?' Bucky is surprised by her tone, they are almost pretending not to know each other, but he's seen her crying, drunk, asleep, angry even. Bucky shifts forward and says honestly, 'James. Umm, James Barnes.' His tone is a little mumbled but Amelia pushes on, 'I've read that you sometimes get called Bucky, where did that come from?' He coughs, stuttering, 'some people call me, well those close to me call me Bucky, those left. It's a family nickname from my childhood.' He looks sad as he answers, Amelia nods slowly, asking herself why they are doing this, reminding herself it was Bucky's idea.

'Where did you grow up?' Bucky's eyes flick to Andi and she nods encouragingly. 'Brooklyn. I was one of four, only boy, all sisters and Steve Rogers was, is, my best friend.' Bucky's a little stilted, it feels scripted and he tries to remember what they practiced. Amelia asks how he and Steve met, he instantly relaxes, smiling about a recent time he and Steve discussed and relived that very day. 'You wouldn't think it to look at him now, but some kids were trying to start a fight and take his money, I intervened and we have been friends ever since.' He immediately eases up talking about Steve, he sits straighter, his voice louder. Amelia smiles at the story, she wishes Steve was here to see this, how good Bucky is doing. 'So, you could say, you saved him?' Bucky smirks and nods, 'I guess, but have you seen him recently? He could kick my ass, that's for sure.' Amelia laughs and Bucky half smiles, thinking it's feels like it's going ok.

'You currently live at Avenger Tower? How is that for you?' Bucky sighs, 'different. It's not what I've been used to, in any lifetime.' When Amelia asks him the best and worst thing about living there, he answers 'worst is definitely Stark, I mean, Mr Stark's music, it's loud and I haven't quite got my head around music these days yet.' He smiles softly, considering the best thing. 'It has to be, being back with Steve, having the opportunity and space to find myself again, I guess,' Amelia nods genuinely.

'And are you working with the Avengers?' Bucky coughs and leans forward in his chair, arms poised on the rests. 'For about two months now, but I'm not an Av… not yet, not now.' Amelia looks down, but quickly back up as he continues, 'I'm being… umm.. phased? Phased in gradually. Being back in the field isn't always easy.' Amelia's surprised at his natural response, she pauses and looks down at her paperwork. 'The public know you as the Winter Soldier, but I'm right in saying this is in your past now?' Bucky stiffens and grips the chair 'yes. I'm not that… that's not me, anymore. That's why I wanted to do this. Speak to you, I mean someone.' He goes silent and Natalie looks to Amelia for the signal to stop. Bucky's hair drops in his face and with a deep breath he shakes it away and starts to talk. 'That wasn't… I was never in control. I was brainw… it wasn't me, I was used for evil. I'm now left with those memories, but they weren't my choices.' Amelia looks at him sadly, she wants to stop and wrap him in a hug, she hears him blame himself so frequently. This has winded her a little and she asks him with her eyes if she should continue. This is the most he's ever said in these circumstances, but she's made sure there are no surprises in there, if anything he's surprising her. He nods and encourages her to keep going.

'I have a list in my hand of some of your crimes, it's long, it's violent, the atrocities vary from small crimes to those worthy of life behind bars. Why should the public trust you?'

Andi's brows are furrowed and she stares at Bucky hard, he and Amelia have rehearsed this, Amelia felt it was too close to home but he insisted. She digs her nails into her palm, anxious to get over this part. 'I'm not that thing anymore, It's gone. I've been found innocent of...' he struggles with the words, 'and I am still trying to get better, with the help of uh, therapy? And uh, fr… friends.' Bucky wipes his jaw awkwardly. 'I don't intend to forget the past, but I would like to not be judged by it. I paid for those crimes in a different kind of jail. I would like those around me to see me as a different person.' Amelia nods, she offers him a small smile and mouths, keep going?

Andi is still staring at him, quietly and nervously biting her nail. It's as if everything he has ever done is just dawning on her. Her quick wit and sharp tongue have always prevented her from dwelling on his history, but now faced with it, she feels trapped by the weight of reality. All she can hear is he killed people.

'Can you tell us about your most recent rescue?' Bucky smiles, 'Umm I can tell you about our earliest rescues? Mrs Daniels' cat?' Amelia laughs and he continues to explain a tale of him and Steve saving the day. Amelia looks at her notes briefly, shaking the sadness that fills her, Bucky chose a story to relive, but the options were limited. His memories sporadic and sparse.

'And what about Captain Rogers? Is it like old times for you two?' she asks cheekily. Bucky laughs a little, 'you know, we look the same but we certainly haven't aged with the world, it takes some getting used to.' Amelia asks about spare time and Bucky answers, 'hanging out, catching up. I recently retraced some old roots at Coney Island.' Andi's face lightens and she gives him a tiny, sad smile.

Once he is distracted by Amelia again, she throws back her drink quickly and sees an opportunity to step out of the room. Once in the hall, she exhales heavily, leaning against the door. She needs time to clear her head and with one last glance at the room, she stalks off.

'What do you see in your future, James?' Amelia asks brightly. Bucky sighs in relief and looks at the ceiling, 'I hope I can finish what I started seventy years ago and find the life I dreamt of back then. Maybe a real life, a dame? No, I mean a girlfriend.' Bucky shuffles uncomfortably and Natalie makes a dreamy noise from within the room and everyone laughs except Bucky, he looks around as if he has done something wrong. 'What? Should we reshoot?' Amelia shakes her head, 'no way. People will fall in love with you. Shut up and keep going. Only a few more questions, hard part is done!' He smiles a little and looks over to Andi, but notices that she has gone. He frowns and tries to refocus on Amelia. She grins as she reads her cards, knowing she had to ask this one, 'ok, so this is a superhero tradition on the show, what do you eat for breakfast?' Bucky scoffs at the ridiculous question, 'uh cereal? Mostly. Sorry, not very exciting.'

'Lastly, James, what will history say about your second chance?' Bucky ponders this, 'hopefully, that I made the most of it and did my absolute all to correct the wrong-doings.' Amelia smiles warmly at him, feeling nothing but pride. Suddenly, there's a loud bang and everyone looks around, Tom calls, 'shit, I've blown something, that lights off, sorry, Amelia, I'm so sorry.' Amelia's heart is racing and she looks up at Tom, 'it's fine. God, that scared me. Nat, check the footage, will you? In case we need to re-do it?' Natalie nods and fumbles with the equipment, she has headphones on and her back to Amelia. 'Oh please say we don't need to re-do it, I hate interviewing, so does he, right, Bucky?'

Amelia smiles to herself, still clasping her chest, 'my heart is still racing, are you ok, Bucky? All done now, thank God! You did great, it was great, how was it for you?' she asks looking up at him. She pauses, noticing that Bucky has both hands over his ears and he is looking down, eyes scrunched closed. She leans forward slowly and places a hand on his knee again, he jerks hard, but she keeps her hand pressed firmly. 'Bucky?' she asks quietly. When he doesn't respond, she repeats it. Still nothing, she looks up at Tom and instructs him to leave them. Tom tries to protest and Amelia gives him a stern look, he finally backs away and joins Natalie, reviewing the tape. Amelia places a second hand on Bucky's other leg and tries to look up and under his hair. It's tumbled out of his bun and his eyes are still tightly closed. 'It's all over, you did amazing. Bucky? Are you ok?'

She starts to stand and move closer, but Bucky's metal hand shoots out and grabs her forcefully. She speaks quietly and encouragingly, hissing a little in pain, 'it's ok, you did so good. It's over now, just a malfunction at the end with a light, Tom's an intern, but he's doing his best, he will beat himself up, poor kid. I'm sure we can cut it, but I promise we're done.' She rambles and he doesn't respond, merely gripping her forearm tighter. 'Bucky, can you hear me?' she asks more frantically; she's trying to keep her voice low to keep Natalie and Tom at bay. He grips her arm tighter, twisting it in his palm. Amelia winces in pain and looks around desperately for some support or a good idea, 'shit, where's Andi?' she mutters. At the mention, Bucky drops her arm immediately, Amelia cradles it instinctively, there's a cut from the metal plates of his hand. His eyes open and he looks up in confusion, breathing violently. His pupils dart around the room and they land on her. In between pants, he asks desperately, 'Amelia?' she nods and wipes her arm on her skirt as inconspicuously as possible. She checks it quickly for blood and then reaches to hold his hand again. 'I'm here, we're done, you're done, you did great, just take deep breaths.' Bucky breathes in and out, maintaining eye contact with her. She's counting to four continuously and offering him a weak smile. His eyes search the room and Amelia answers the unspoken question, 'I don't know what happened to her. She must have gone for a drink?'

Natalie waltzes over, 'all good, kids, no reshoot needed, it looks great, you are a charmer, Barnes.' He doesn't respond or even look at her. Natalie looks to Amelia in concern and she nods, waving her away, mouthing everything's fine. Natalie and Tom begin to clear up and Amelia is still holding Bucky's hand. He settles a little, still on edge and taking a deep breath, he runs a hand through his hair and pulls the tie out, passing it softly to Amelia, 'thank you.' She can feel the sweat in his palm as she accepts it with her free hand.

'Does this happen a lot?' She asks quietly, sitting back. Bucky shakes his head quickly. Amelia tries to tug her hand away and he pulls it back. 'Don't say anything to them.' She knows he means Andi and Steve, but she can't make that promise. Bucky looks down and there's blood dripping down her palm, spiralling her hand and marbling her fingers. He drops her hand in horror, 'I'm so sorry, forgive me.' Amelia wipes her hand again, 'forgotten, let's move on and celebrate that this is done. You were great, James.' She smiles at him and he looks her in the eye, 'it's Bucky to you. You made it easy, you're too damn good to me.' He can see the red handprints on her arm as she tucks hair behind her ears. He slouches back, beginning to internally beat himself up, 'shit, what did I do?' Amelia feels emotional for him, sniffing, 'look, Bucky…'

Bucky looks up, masking his fear and distress. Amelia double takes at the quick change, his clenched fists giving him away. Andi steps back into the room, 'all done, losers?' She asks in a jovial tone. She's decided to ignore her concerns and returns with another full tray of hot drinks and a happy face.

AN: That was so tough on Bucky! I hope I did his scenario justice, it was quite hard to write at times, what might be asked, answer, how he might react etc. But he did so good. He's had a panic attack of sorts at the end and this will come up again later. I like the Bucky x Amelia relationship, she's meant to be complementary to Andi, who is a little more seat of her pants, the think later type.

Steve is out of the picture for now, on a "mission". Hard for Bucky and Amelia in the coming chapters.

The next chapter is a little different in layout, but has some really fun bits. x