Chapter 25

Beautiful, lithe, cunning Lira, Daughter of Nisdrath limped into the rooms Thorin and Bilbo temporarily occupied. From the look of things, she'd come straight to them after arriving in the mountain. Her clothing was travel-stained and worn, a prosthetic leg designed for riding on pony back instead of walking. Her normally immaculately brushed and braided black hair and beard looked a touch frizzy around the edges, and her normally dark skin was darker still, weathered from the sun or road dust, Thorin didn't know. Whichever it was, Nori didn't seem to mind in the least as he pulled her near a chair and settled her on his lap after he sat.

Nori's shoulders no longer tried to reach his ears, the tension having drained away probably the moment Lira returned to his arms. The spymaster's grey eyes shone clearer without any frantic, suppressed pain and strain behind them. Thorin still hated the sacrifice the two had made for his sake and planned to repay it in whatever way possible.

That would have to wait, however.

"What have you brought for me?" Thorin asked as he took his own seat. He glanced to the side when he heard the door open. Bilbo walked inside, rubbing a bit at his ear, a grimace on his face. The medications Oin had given him must be wearing off then.

Lira shoved Nori's arms away when Bilbo walked in, standing and dropping into a kneeling position with more grace than Thorin would have thought possible with the clunky prosthetic limiting her motions. He shouldn't have been surprised really. She was considered the best dancer in Ered Luin after all, prosthetic leg or no.

"Your Majesty," she greeted Bilbo, raising her voice. Nori had told her of Bilbo's hearing problems then. Good. Saved Thorin the trouble of explaining it himself.

Bilbo looked up from where he'd been focusing on something truly evil on the floor, going by his glare. His expression softened but held irritation in the way his lips thinned down to a small line. "Please don't," he said, stepping forward and motioning for Lira to stand. Thorin scowled, noting the pained lines still dug deep in Bilbo's forehead. Oin had warned him noise would make Bilbo's ears hurt worse. Why was Bilbo coming to join the conversation when he could go take more pain medication, shove his head under a pillow, and try to sleep away more of the pain?

"Really," Nori added and pulled Lira back onto his lap, "don't. He hates that." Thorin resisted the urge to snort in disbelief. Nori didn't care whether they liked their titles or not, often using them mockingly knowing he could get away with it.

Lira tugged a bit at Nori's beard before wrapping her arm around his shoulders so she could more easily balance. "Some of us have manners," she said, admonishment in her voice.

"Only when they suit you," Nori replied.

Lira didn't bother to answer, instead, turning to Thorin. "We know who is behind everything and they're here, in Erebor. Came in with the caravan."

"Do you know where they are?" Thorin asked, already itching to grab Orcrist and rid someone of their head.

Lira shook her head. "Lost him in the confusion. I'm good, but even I can't follow a single dwarf in a crowd of thousands when they're good at disappearing."

"But you know who it is," Bilbo said as he took a seat next to Thorin. He'd retrieved something from a clay dish next to the fire. From what Thorin could see, they were little cloth bags. Bilbo placed them over his ears, holding them in place and seemingly relaxing a bit as he did so. Thorin vaguely remembered Oin telling Bilbo that a warm, dry compress over his ears would help with the pain, as well as the medicines he prescribed.

"Of course I do," Lira said. "He's clever, but not that clever."

Bilbo glared at Nori. "So all that stuff about Lobelia was just insane ramblings, was it?"

"Insane?" Nori spluttered, straightening and almost upsetting Lira. She shifted her weight quickly, turning the small tipped motion into a mostly natural-looking stretch. "Like I told your hubby this morning, I've been in complete control over my mind the entire time."

Bilbo looked dubiously at him even as pain made him pale. "So you don't think Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is behind all this."

Nori guffawed and Lira shook her head in exasperation at her One. "Lobelia was just a red herring, a false trail I left for the fools that thought they could watch me without me knowing it."

"So you fed the royal consort that pack of lies?" Lira asked. "Really Nori."

"What?" he demanded. "Worked didn't it? Jubral doesn't have a clue we're onto him."

"Jubral?" Thorin demanded and jumped from his seat, ready to tear down the mountain to find the disgraced dwarf.

"Who did you expect?" Nori asked. "You banished him when he believed he was doing you and the kingdom a favor. Now he's out for revenge and trying to kill you-"

"Me?" Thorin asked.

"Thorin?" Bilbo demanded at the same time. He pulled on Thorin's sleeve until Thorin sat down again, grimacing in pain when he'd pulled the little packet away from his ear. Something rattled faintly inside. Beans perhaps? Or rice? "I think you've missed something. In case you've forgotten, I'm the one that's almost gotten killed multiple times." He put the little packet over his ear again.

"I was getting to that," Nori groused.

Lira's hand on Nori's chest stilled the spymaster. "From the reports Nori's sent me, each attack you've experienced has either been in His Royal Majesty's presence or where he should have been."

"Thorin," Nori told her and buried his nose in Lira's hair near her ear, eyes closing in bliss. "He hates the title in private."

Lira glanced a Thorin and he nodded his assent. "Thorin has been the target all along."

"But, the attack in the council room. I was all alone. And again in the throne room. And so many other times." Bilbo said, sounding miffed.

"The attack came when Thorin forgot vital papers, correct? Doesn't he normally retrieve things like that? And he's usually the first into the throne room for public audience days. He's fond of blackberries, thus the chosen flavor for the poisoned cream puffs. The server just mixed up the plates."

"I confirmed that," Nori put in, taking a moment to pull his face away from Lira's neck, only to shift so he could change position, now half hiding beneath Lira's thick beard.

"What about during the first winter? I know there were a few attempts, even if I didn't know they were happening at the time."

"All aimed at Thorin," Nori said, his voice muffled. Lira gave him a small shove and he leaned back enough to be clearly heard. "The very first attack was in the kitchens shortly after we were snowed into the mountain after the coronation. Thorin had mentioned heading down there to check on stores with Bombur. I heard a whisper that someone wanted him dead, that there was a hefty price on his head. I headed that way, learned you were heading down there and took care of it before anyone got hurt besides the assassin."

"Why did you let me believe they were after Bilbo?" Thorin asked, irritation growing.

Nori shrugged. "Didn't know who was listening. I knew I had to make you aware of assassination attempts so you would be more cautious, but I didn't want to tip off any potential spies among Dain's men."

"Brugaat," Thorin growled. He went to lunge to his feet only to have Bilbo place his hand on Thorin's arm. Thorin settled back into his chair, fury radiating through him.

"Give them a moment, Dear," Bilbo said. "I'm sure they have a perfectly good rea-" He broke off, tilting his head to the side. He scowled a bit before smiling widely. "The whistling's gone!"

"The what?" Lira asked.

"The whistling," Bilbo said. "I hurt my ears last night in the explosion. I've been hearing this strange high-pitched note ever since. It finally faded away just now." He turned to look more fully at Thorin. "Do you think this means all my hearing will return?"

Thorin, relief coursing through him, patted Bilbo's knee. "We'll send for Oin as soon as we finish here," he promised.

Bilbo sighed happily and settled back into his chair, still holding the little bags of something over his ears. "I can hear a little easier now," he admitted. "Still muffled like I'm underwater and my ears still hurt, especially when there's noise, but your voice is a bit clearer."

"That's all wonderful and good," Nori interjected, "but we need to get back to this. Brugaat isn't behind anything. I checked. Jubral has framed him for everything. Now that I'm sure of who is behind everything and had it confirmed by Lira and the attackers last night that weren't too tight-lipped, we can move forward."

"What would you have us do?" Thorin asked, turning his full attention back to the matter at hand. His eyes flickered over to where Orcrist lay nearby, ready to be picked up and used again at a moment's notice.

"Go back about your regular daily lives as if we had caught the true culprit behind everything already," Lira said. "We've already taken in Brugaat. We know Jubral framed him for masterminding last night's attack and a few others. We won't have any difficulties flushing him out now."

"You're sure that's wise?" Bilbo asked. "Won't he attack again?"

Nori and Lira smiled widely and Thorin remembered that Nori wasn't the only seasoned thief. Lira's feral grin was just as dangerous and unhinged as Nori's.

"Oh, we're relying on it," Nori said.


For the most part, Bilbo did not return to his usual, daily life. Mostly, because his ears hurt any time he heard anything. He spent most of his time in his rooms, quietly reading books Ori brought to him or going through the piles of paperwork involved in running a kingdom Erebor's size. The pain slowly receded but his hearing remained muffled.

A little over two weeks after the attack that damaged his ears, Bilbo left the mountain, along with the rest of his family and a number of the Company. Nori and Lira, dressed commonly and with thick, bulky cloaks thrown over their clothes, disappeared into the crowds even before they reached Dale. Bilbo, riding on pony back next to Thorin tried to hide the pain he still felt, especially as the sounds of celebration reached them.

"Will you be alright?" Thorin asked. "You could stay in Erebor. No one would think less of you after your injury."

Bilbo shook his head carefully. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been the first few days, but it still lingered, especially when he moved his head to quickly or heard a louder noise. Oin had told him it would take another two weeks or so for his ears to fully heal but the pain should stop bothering him within another week or so. "They're making The Announcement," he said. "We need to be here to support them. I'll be fine."

He looked back at where Fili road behind Thorin, talking animatedly with Kili and Dis. In addition to clean clothing, he carried a box. A courting gift, Fili had explained when he'd noticed Bilbo eyeing it.

They arrived in Dale and took a moment at the Guard Post to change into their finer clothes for the ceremony. The rest of the company went to mingle amongst the crowds and enjoy the festivities while the royal family went to Bard's home. After a little huffiness from Bard over the bit of beard burn on Sigrid, they all turned to leave. Before walking out the door, Bilbo pulled out a couple of small balls of cotton fluff from his pocket. He wadded them up tightly and stuck them in his ears before moving his ever-lengthening hair (and wasn't it strange that he didn't feel the overwhelming need to cut in order to not look like, well, a girl?) over his ears to hide the little bits of fluff that helped deaden the sound more and protected him from more pain.

He walked with Thorin, taking his place easily upon the stand with the others, showing Erebor's ruling family's undivided support of the new monarch and their ally. Gandalf performed the honors before Bard announced Fili and Lady Sigrid's engagement.

And that was it. Bilbo took Thorin's hand and followed him down the stairs. He let Thorin handle all conversation. With his hearing impaired and the cotton stuck in his ears, Bilbo couldn't hear anything louder than a murmur. Instead, he watched the crowds. Content to be in the sunshine and not worrying about being killed at every turn.

He should have known better. Hadn't he learned up on the Carrock to not have thoughts that consisted of optimism over their future prospects?

Lira suddenly appeared at his side. With a quick word to Thorin, she grabbed Bilbo's arm and directed him away from the square. Thorin moved obediently, his eyes scanning the crowds around them.

"What's happening?" Bilbo asked and pulled cotton out of one ear. He cringed at the sudden influx of sound as pain throbbed in his head. He glanced around, looking in places Nori had taught him too.

High on a rooftop, a shadow a bit too dark caught his attention. Archers dressed in black? Bilbo didn't bother to wait to find out. He took a deep breath and slid to the side, between Tall Folk, and into the poor sightlines.

"Bilbo?" Thorin asked from nearby.

"Here," he called.

"Keep your head down, please," Lira instructed, her own head held high as she moved around behind Thorin. Bilbo watched as she shifted her cloak aside suddenly and pulled something from her back.

The small buckler shield on Lira's arm caught the errant arrow heading straight for Thorin. Bilbo gasped, moving again, sliding amongst the crowds, knowing very few would be able to track his movements. Hobbits could move unseen when they wished, after all.

"Inside, now," Lira ordered the moment Bilbo reappeared and shoved toward a building. She tucked the shield away again, but kept one arm behind her back, beneath the cloak. "Not in the building," she said and nodded toward the alley. "There's a cellar down there. Go inside. Nori will get you out of the city and back to Erebor."

Bilbo nodded and ducked, dodged, and weaved away from her and Thorin. He hated leaving Thorin but they'd talked about this. They needed to stay apart when attacks came in large groups, make harder targets of themselves. They hoped no one would risk the lives of innocents to assassinate the king or his consort.

At the alley's mouth, she handed the shield and her cloak to Thorin. His eyebrows rose when he took the cloth and Bilbo rejoined his side, just inside the alley and in the shadows cast by the afternoon sun.

"What?" Lira asked. "You think I'd wander around without at least one layer of armor that I could pass off to my king and his consort?"

Thorin pulled the cloak on over his shoulders and pulled Bilbo close to him, wrapping one side of the cloak around Bilbo's shoulders. "What will you do?" Thorin asked.

"Go after him," Lira said with a grin. "Don't worry about me. Get moving." She nodded at the alley again before turning to the side of the building. She grabbed the edge of a windowsill and pulled herself onto it with ease and grace. Swiftly, she scaled the building and pulled herself up onto the tiled roof.

Bilbo watched her as long as he could as Thorin led him down the alley. Lira jumped from the roof of the building on their left and landed on the building to their right, sliding a little when a tile gave way but regained her footing easily. She took off running across the rooftop as Thorin pulled the cellar open and pushed Bilbo inside first before following and closing the cellar door behind him.

"Can you see anything?" Bilbo asked. With the cellar door shut, the room was entirely dark. A shiver worked its way up his spine as unease settled into the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, a light flared right next to Bilbo. He leaped back, unsheathing Sting in the same motion.

"Majesties," Nori greeted with a grin, setting the match to the candle wick inside the lantern he held. "If you'll follow me, I'll be taking you on a tour of Dale's lovely sewer system until we reach the Guard Post where a contingent of handpicked dwarrow will be guiding you safely home to Erebor."

"Lead on," Thorin said, his expression grim.

Nori opened a trap door and motioned for them to go inside. Bilbo climbed down the ladder and looked up just in time to see Nori adjust something just outside the only partially open door before sliding down the ladder himself.

"This way," Nori said and started walking.

The tunnels were mostly dry, attesting to amazing dwarfen engineering. They walked along a wide ledge next to the channel where Dale's waste washed away, aided by water brought up from the River Running. Bilbo kept a hand on the yellow, sparkling stone wall so prevalent throughout Dale's structures, following Nori through a maze of tunnels.

"Will she be all right?" Bilbo asked after a few moments. Nori glanced back at him. "Lira, I mean."

Nori snorted. "Don't let that leg fool you," he said. "She's better at tracking a mark than anyone else I know, aside from myself. She'll be fine."

"If you're better, why aren't you the one chasing down the attacker?" Thorin asked. Bilbo resisted the urge to throw an elbow into his stomach, knowing he'd only get a bruised elbow out of it. Really, he appreciated how fit his husband was but sometimes it just wasn't fair.

"Too noticeable," Nori said. "Everyone's looking for the Company today, what with one of us just having our engagement to the eldest Princess of Dale announced and all. Ah, here we are." Nori stopped next to another ladder. "Head straight up. Dwalin will be waiting for you both."

"Thank you," Thorin said and motioned for Bilbo to go up the ladder first.

"Oh, wait," Nori said. He pulled off his own heavy cloak and threw it around Bilbo's shoulders, fastening it beneath his chin.

"It's a bit long," Bilbo groused, looking down to see the end of the cloak trailing behind him.

"Good," Nori said. "It'll keep you safer. Make sure it covers you and the backside of your ram."

"Ram?" Bilbo squeaked. Nori just grinned and waved, before blowing out the lantern and leaving them in darkness again.

"Come on, Bilbo," Thorin said, and pulled him over to the ladder. After fumbling a moment, Bilbo found the rungs and started pulling himself up toward the trapdoor above him.


"Well done!" Nori crowed as he entered Thorin and Bilbo's temporary rooms. He clasped Bilbo's shoulder. "We caught the archer. He's been babbling about the hobbit with fairy blood, begging we keep him safe from you."

Bilbo took the little heated packets of rice away from his ears. "Fairy blood?" he asked. "Why in Yavanna's name would they think I have fairy blood."

Thorin stretched out next to him, fingering the arrow shaft that Lira had deflected that afternoon in Dale.

Brooding again.

Bilbo sighed and put the small red bag of rice back into the clay pot next to the hearth and pulled out a pair of orange ones, knowing they'd been in there heating up the longest. He tossed them up and down for a moment and until they were cool enough they wouldn't burn his fingers before pressing them back over his ears. The pain decreased quickly into a faint ache with the heat.

"Nori said a book about hobbits went missing from the library. He said it mentioned the Took family having fairy blood," Thorin said.

Bilbo groaned. "I already told you. That's a load of rubbish. I'm no more fairy than you are."

"We know that," Nori stressed. "The rest of Erebor doesn't. Our archer wasn't the only one that was watching you. Half the mountain, even the skeptics are now convinced it's true."

Bilbo glared. "And why does that make you sound so gleeful?" he demanded.

"Fewer people will be willing to attack you."

"They weren't after me in the first place!" he reminded Nori and flinched when his own voice shot agony into his head.

"And less will be willing to attack Thorin," Lira said. "No one wants to anger a fairy by attacking his husband."

"And?" Bilbo demanded.

"And it's almost time to set a trap," Nori said. "Durin's Day is coming. Good day for superstitions to run wild. Leave it to us. We'll take care of things."

"If you say so," Bilbo said.

Lira took a seat next to him. "We do," she assured Bilbo. "We'll make sure no one harms you or His Majesty."

"I can hear you," Thorin groused.

Nori draped himself over Lira's shoulders. She shrugged him off and leaned against his chest, hands coming up to grip his forearm when he reached around her shoulders and pulled her against him. "I'm aware," Nori said. "Shouldn't you be preparing your list of demands for Fili's marriage contract? You only have a week after all."

Thorin cursed under his breath. "Where's Balin?" he demanded, already heading for the door. Bilbo tried not to feel upset. Thorin was focused. It wasn't a big deal he forgot to come kiss Bilbo before he left.

"His office," Lira and Nori chorused.

Thorin nodded, paused at the door, and came back to kiss Bilbo thoroughly.

"Be safe," Bilbo ordered with mock sternness. He had a feeling Thorin didn't buy it, going by the amused expression on his face.

"I'll be back soon," he said, kissing Bilbo again before leaving their rooms.


"I have something for you," Thorin said three days after the negotiations for Fili's marriage. He took Bilbo's hands in his and pulled him up from his chair. Oin had just been and gone, declaring Bilbo's ears mostly healed. Bilbo claimed he no longer felt pain and that his hearing had completely returned.

Bilbo set his book aside before letting Thorin pull him to his feet. "Oh?" he asked and followed as Thorin led him out of their temporary rooms and down the corridor.

"Yes," Thorin said. He shoved the nerves he felt aside, trying not to fall into old habits of truncated responses when uncomfortable. He swallowed. "Work on our rooms was finished this morning."

"Why didn't you say so?" Bilbo asked. "What about the garden? Is it safe for me to work in there again?"

"Nori even had the wall surrounding it improved to make it almost impenetrable from the mountain's slopes," Thorin confirmed. They reached the rooms and he pushed open the door.

The massive amounts of damage required extensive renovation to make their rooms habitable again. Thorin had gone a step further, ordering the destroyed walls smoothed into neat archways and lined with panels of rich, warm wood, reminiscent of the walls he barely remembered of Bilbo's home in the Shire. The door to their bedroom was no longer a rectangle but a large, round door, painted a bright green.

Bilbo laughed with delight. "Thorin, it's wonderful!" he said and rushed over to the door. He laughed again. "Is that the symbol Gandalf scratched into my newly painted door?" he demanded, pointing at the rune scratched into the wood.

"It is," Thorin said.

Bilbo grinned and pushed the door open.

Their room itself hadn't sustained much damage but the furniture needed to be replaced. Thorin had commissioned pieces in rich cherry wood, carved with a combination of geometric dwarfen designs and the rolling curves and plants he'd seen Bilbo doodling on the edges of documents when he thought Thorin wasn't paying attention. The fabrics were rich reds and bright yellows, splashes of bright but tasteful colors across the room in the upholstery on the new armchairs, their bedspread, the cushioned lid of the chest at the foot of their bed, and so on.

Bilbo darted around the room gleefully before suddenly stopping, seemingly remembering himself. "Yes, this will do quite nicely," he said, trying to reign in his enthusiasm.

"There's more," Thorin said with a grin. "Come here."

Bilbo followed him out of their room and back into the sitting room. Thorin nodded to the other wall, where attackers had also blasted their way into their rooms.

Instead of having the wall repaired, Thorin took the opportunity to have their rooms expanded. He led Bilbo through the large, round door painted Durin blue.

Bilbo stopped and stared for a moment. He swallowed audibly and put a fist in front of his mouth, clearing his throat. His nose twitched adorably as it often did when he was uncomfortable or, in this case, dealing with strong emotions, or so Thorin assumed.

"Do you like it?" Thorin asked when the silence stretched too long.

"How could I not?" Bilbo said and Thorin decided not to comment on the choked sound of Bilbo's voice.

Thorin stood a little straighter, clasping his hands behind his back. "I present to you my third courting gift, made with you in my mind and heart at all moments of its creation. May it bring you joy and remind you that you are treasured above all else to me."

Bilbo walked forward and ran his hand across the marble countertops, along the new hearth, and the large iron stove, the centerpiece of the new, massive kitchen. It had been a beast to forge, but Bilbo's obvious delight made every bit of singed hair and clothing, burnt skin, and irritated curses worth it.

Colored lights played across Bilbo's skin from the stained glass windows that looked out on the expanded gardens. Thorin and Kili had spent hours collaborating over the designs for them, Thorin placing the ironwork for his nephew to cut colored sheets of glass into the correct shapes. Together, they created scenes from their journey in the myriad of windows cut into the wall of the mountain.

Fili's contribution to the rooms lay in the intricate designs worked into the sides of the new oven and stamped into the bricks around the hearth. He'd created the molds for them, painstakingly carving them out in the special clays that could take the heat of molten iron. He also created the molds that Thorin had cast the stamps out of that created the brick designs. How Fili had managed that, kept up with his duties, spent time with Sigrid, and worked on his own courting gifts, Thorin didn't know. Fili did look a bit tired these days. Perhaps he'd give him a day or two to himself.

Thorin had cast, shaped, and worked every bit of metal in the kitchen and attached pantries, from the massive stove to the tiniest little screws that held the handles of the cupboard doors in place. He worked with carpenters, masons, stoneworkers, and his favorite engineer Bofur to make the rooms perfect for his husband.

"I could not ask for a better gift," Bilbo said softly as he looked around at the new kitchen. "You've brought me a piece of home, given me the chance to do the things I love most in my garden and now in a kitchen."

"These rooms are for you to do with as you wish," Thorin said. "You'll find a fully stocked pantry and through that door a study for you to fill as you please. Ori has instructions to have any book you desire copied or translated and placed there for your own use. A few have already been done for you."

Bilbo turned and buried his face into Thorin's chest, wrapping his arms around him. "What did I do to deserve you?" he asked.

"Something truly horrible for Mahal to curse you so," Thorin said and Bilbo laughed wetly. He leaned back and pulled one of his ever-present handkerchiefs from his pocket, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose.

"Enough of this," Bilbo said. "What would you like? I feel the need to break in my new kitchen before the Company hears of it and comes to raid my pantry and leave me with nothing to work with again." He rolled up his sleeves and started laying a fire in the stove and another in the hearth.

"I quite enjoyed your blackberry crumble," Thorin said.

"Blackberry crumble it is," Bilbo said and went to the pantry to explore ingredients in there and in the cold box set into the floor.

Thorin smiled, following Bilbo and also mentally making a note to have Balin clear a little more time on his schedule. If Bilbo started baking as often as he feared he would, Thorin would need to train more in order to counteract the amount of baked goods his pretty little husband would make.