Hiiiiii! Guys, I know you've been waiting for this, so I try to be short
selairalynn, Rose already heard he was talking to his mother. She won't find out what they talked about, but she will find out with who he was talking to later
HonestPassion13, not all the things you wished will happen in this chapter, and they don't happen in that order either, and those three words will be said a little later, in a more, let's call it, suspensful moment. And you're an angel :) I hope I used right all the new stuff
Caroline, it makes me happy too when I see your reviews too. You guys are amazing for supporting me. Love you lots!
GojGoj and Tika86, you'll eventually find out what his tattoo means, but that will happen sometime later. They have some other things to figure out now. I mean, considering how I ended the last chapter... yeah. Go ahead and enjoy this M thing I wrote :)
Be someone for me, comrade
DPOV
I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. My brain has never worked so slow in my entire life either.
"You haven't… done this before? Like… sex…" I echo her word by word as my brain is processing the information.
But this doesn't make any sense! She said that she had sex with Xavier. He said that too. Insinuating it or whatever, but he did mention it. Then how come she is telling me this now?
She nods, her palms still covering her face.
My brain stops working for another second as I stare at her. So she didn't do it with him? Not with anyone else before?
"Wait a second. Love, you're telling me that you have never been with anyone? Anyone else? Never?"
I know I sound like an idiot now, but I think I need for her to spell it to me so that I would completely understand what is happening. Is she trying to mess with me?
"Rose, come on, give me some help here."
I move her hands off her face once more and meet her distressed expression. She isn't even looking at me, not even when I tilt her head up.
"You are telling me that no one has ever touched you before?"
I have always thought that her panicky reactions around stuff than involve sex are just a product of her shyness. But oh, haven't I been wrong? Her sudden, daring bursts didn't help me either.
"You're a virgin," I state startled.
"It sounds really bad when you say it like that. It's not a disease…" she scratches the inside of her forearm and sighs. "But… yes." she looks down once again. "No one has- I have never…"
"And why didn't you tell me earlier?" unintentionally, I raise my voice a little, but I am upset and I couldn't control it.
And don't get me wrong. I am mostly upset with myself for not figuring it out earlier. I have joked about it, made comments about it, teased her about it, but I was so misled by what I have heard and the way she acted that I have never stopped to think that she has never done this. I am angry with myself for possibly hurting her than on her for not telling me. But if she would have told me we wouldn't be here now. What if she wouldn't have told me and I would have ended hurting her?
Her eyes widen and she looks at me scared.
"I… I am sorry, I-" Finally daring to look at me, I see her lip trembling and her eyes filling with tears again. "I should hav-"
"You should have told me, Rose," I say calmer this time and I reach my hand up and put her hair behind her ear. "You should have told me. I should have known about this." and this thing I say lastly, it's mostly addressed to me than to her. Because I should have seen it.
"You're right. And I am sorry. I just…"
She wipes the tears in her eyes, drags a sheet on her, then wants to get up, but I catch her by her hand and pull her on my lap, thankfully, that sheet falling on my nakedness too.
"No. Don't run this time. Don't run away from me anymore, Roza. It won't do us any good."
We haven't admitted so many things so far just for her to get scared and pull away from me again. I won't let her do this ever again.
She looks down, kneading her fingers, looking so contrite. But I don't want her to feel this way. I just want us to talk it out.
I take her hands into mine, stopping her fumble.
"Hey. Look at me." she doesn't move a muscle. "Roza…"
"I am sorry."
I pull her closer to me. "It's okay."
"It's not. I am an idiot."
Maybe I shouldn't do it, but I can't stop myself from laughing a little. She's so harsh to herself. I wonder when she will stop doing this.
"You are not, love. You're not an idiot. Not at all."
She is trembling lightly as I bend closer towards her, and when my lips make contact with her skin, she gasps a little and her eyes close tightly.
"Comrade…"
"Shhh. It's okay. I won't do more than this. I won't force you in any way. I just want to kiss you."
I press my lips on her cheek at first, tasting the saltiness of her tears on my lips, and when she relaxes, I continue to kiss her, on her cheek again, her forehead, the tip of her nose, her temple, her tightly closed eyes, and moving my lips slowly on her skin, I head towards her lips.
"Can I?" I brush my lips close to hers.
She nods and I press my lips on her, into a little peck, once more, then I do it a third one.
When I pull away, she gets back to looking down, looking like a kid that has just been scolded for breaking something.
"Rose, look at me, please."
With a sigh, she lifts her eyes slowly and I meet them full of tears. I bring my hands up to wipe them away.
"I am sorry that I raised my voice at you."
"No. You didn't. And even though, you were right to do so."
"No." I take her hands in mine and hold them tight. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. It's just that… I don't have any excuse. I am not even looking for one. I shouldn't have done it, period."
"It's fine."
"It's not. And I have been acting boorishly and I've been rough to you because I thought that you've been with men before." I sigh. This shouldn't be an excuse. "I am sorry. But I didn't know. I must have scared you."
"No, you didn't. And you didn't know."
"Then why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"I know I should have, but I was-" she stops and sighs. "I just didn't."
"You should have told me, love. At least to slow down or something. I would have understood. Plus, I thought, I mean, he said-"
"He lied."
"And you?" why didn't she say anything about it? Why didn't she contradict him?
"I didn't say otherwise. I went on with his lie."
I don't get to ask why because I understand another thing. I should have figured it out back then when it happened!
"Wait. This is what happened last time too, when we…?" she nods. "You got scared?"
Of course she did! You've been quite rough the first time you found her under you!
"Kind of. I mean, no. I, oh, I didn't know what to expect and now I thought it wouldn't be bad and-"
"You got scared of me? Tell me, do you think I would do anything to you for telling me that, Roza?"
She shakes her head. "No, of course not."
"Then, why didn't you tell me back then? You think I would have pushed you away for telling me this?"
"I don't know." I wouldn't have. I won't. "But I mostly didn't tell you because I was embarrassed."
This woman is unbelievable. She didn't do it because she was embarrassed. A lot of things happened because she felt like that. And so, I have missed every signal and so help me God, there were so many. Here it is, if needed, another proof that she is messing with my head and I am not seeing things as clearly as they are.
"And why would you be embarrassed about that?"
She rolls her eyes a little. "Come on. How does this sound? Hello, my name is Rose Hathaway and I am a twenty years something virgin. That's so lame."
"What is lame in waiting?" She shrugs and avoids my eyes again. "Here, tell me this. If you think that it's lame, why didn't you do it earlier?"
She looks at me surprised. Her mouth even opens a little in awe.
"Are you really asking me this?"
"I am."
Thinking about it now, she starts biting her lip.
"I… um… I don't know. It didn't feel... right. I didn't do it because I didn't feel ready, I guess. I don't know…"
"And were you feeling ready earlier? Or back then, at the motel? Did you feel ready now?"
She panics for a couple of seconds as she probably thinks about it.
"You can say no, Roza. You are totally entitled to say it. I won't ever force myself you if you don't feel ready for it." I place a little kiss on her cheek. "We won't do anything unless you want to."
When she doesn't voice any answer, I want to pull the sheet on her and cover her better, to end things now, but she wraps her fingers on my forearm and pulls me to her.
"No. Stay. I want you. I am ready. For… you. I want this. I want you."
"Don't feel pressed to do or say this."
"I am not. Not at all. I want you. If… if you…"
"If I what?"
She looks down and runs her fingers in circles on my skin.
"If you… still want me."
"Oh, Roza. You have no idea how badly I want you."
"You do?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because…"
"Because you're a virgin, that's it?"
She shrugs. "I don't know…"
"Then you tell me. Why wouldn't I want you?"
"Because guys like you don't dig this."
"Guys like me? Do you want to detail on that?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out as an insult. I really didn't."
"Then?"
She sighs. "You… know stuff. And I… I don't."
"So?"
"Oh, I don't know. Doesn't that bother you? Guys tend to-"
"Not at all, love. It doesn't bother me at all."
"But…"
I kiss her, stopping her protest, and showing her that I still want her. I want her like I never wanted any other woman in my life.
As we kiss, she pulls the sheet off her body and mine, letting it drop on the bed.
I pull away a little and look at her, still not believing that no one has ever touched her, and that she is willing to give herself to me, that she's giving me this privilege.
"And now, just to be sure. Do you have something else to add?"
She smiles. "You're not mad?"
"No, love. I wish you would have told me earlier, but I know you too and I should have seen it coming."
She bites her lip and comes closer, wrapping her arms around my neck and kisses me, her lips pressing hard on mine.
"Still, there's anything else you want to confess?"
She nods. "There might still be a thing."
"What thing?"
"I um…" she walks her thumbs on my neck. "I don't… oh… I don't really know what to do. What I should do and stuff," she ends with a sigh.
I can't help but smile. I cup her cheeks and drag her towards me, bringing our lips together once more and after I kiss her pressed and hard back, I walk my lips along her jaw and then up to her ear.
"You did great so far, love." she did so well that she made me not see the most obvious things right in front of me. "Just enjoy and do whatever feels good for you, love. Don't you worry about other things. And if you want to know something, ask. I'll show you anything you wish to know. Is that okay with you?"
"Mhm."
"And now I need to tell you something else too."
"What?" She is walking her hands through my hair now and so do I.
"If it makes you feel any better love, you are the first woman-"
She bursts in laughter. "Stop it, comrade. Don't start with that bullshit because I won't ever believe that you have never been with anyone before."
I chuckle too. "Not what I meant to say."
"Oh, shoot. Then what?"
"I meant, I haven't been with-"
Her eyes widen as she understands. "A virgin before," she finishes for me.
"Yes, love. So you can say it's something new for both of us." I want her to not be scared of this experience. I'll do my best so that this experience would be pleasurable to her.
"But still, you have the upper hand here."
"There's no upper hand here, love. Just you and me, okay?"
Smiling, she nods.
And even though there's nothing I can think of but my swelling little head and a way to take her faster, I know this is out of the discussion. I need to keep my brain rational.
She has let herself be fully vulnerable in front of me, telling me this and then giving me complete control over her body, surrendering to me completely, trusting me with it and I promise I will make it worth it, each second of it.
Her breath starts to harshen as we continue to kiss, and as the sheet is out of my way towards her body, my hands begin again to explore her. I slide my hand down across her spine, her hot flesh trembling under my touch and I rest my hand on her lower back to pull her body closer to me as I get up and lay her back down.
RPOV
In between little kisses on my face, he is talking to me.
"We'll do anything you want to and anything that feels comfortable, love." his voice is thick with desire and promise. "I will be gentle with you Roza." He kisses me some more, heading down my neck now. "Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?" I nod. "And love?"
"Huh?"
"You're allowed to touch me, you know?" he lifts his head and smiles. "In fact, I would highly recommend it."
"Oh." I chuckle. "Of course, you know better," I continue his little joke and I move my hands on his body, touching him lightly.
He continues to watch me as I walk my fingers upward on his abs.
"What?"
He smiles. "Nothing." He takes one of my hands off his chest and brings it to his mouth, kissing each of my fingers.
"See?"
"See what?"
"You're crazy, woman."
I laugh. Well yes, I am. "Yeah, fine. I'm guilty."
"But I still like it, love," he says kissing the inside of my wrist. "You're crazy in the best way."
I find a little courage to round my leg on his middle and urge him to dissolve the rest of the distance left between us, and he glues himself to me, my skin burning hot where all his bare body presses firmly against mine.
As my hands wrap on his back, and I walk my fingers all over his skin, taking in each and every one of his muscles as they tense under my touch, and he starts kissing his way down on me.
"Love?"
"Huh?"
"No one? Never?"
He kisses and sucks on my neck, his skilled tongue playing on my skin, eliciting pleased sighs from me.
"No. No one. Never."
"Ever?"
He moves towards my breasts, kissing lightly, then pressing and again sucking on my swollen, needy breasts thanks to his previous attention.
"Ever." I move my fingers through his hair. "Just you," I sigh as he puts his lips around my nipple, sending little shots of electricity that soon reach my dripping core.
"Not even this?" His tongue plays with my already too sensitive skin, along with his hand taking care of my other peak.
"No," I cry, pushing my chest up and my fingers clutching in his hair. "No," I sigh, relaxing under him. "Just… oh… only you, comrade…"
He bites on my peak and I whimper.
"Should I stop?"
"No, no, please don't. Don't you stop."
He nibbles on me once more, making me whimper again, and getting that response from me, he lifts his eyes and looks at me, seeming proud. Let him be. He has thousands of reasons to be.
But still, despite this little teasing, he's being so sweet to me, moving slow and gentle. But I want more. I want him to get further. So I part my legs a little, letting him know that I am okay with it, making some more room for him to come closer.
After coming up to kiss my lips, he smiles as he accommodates better in between my thighs, then brings his palm on my knee and slowly heads down, walking his fingers along my inner thigh, taking his time exploring my skin, all his touches adding to the little something starting to grow in me.
"Is this alright?" he now grits his teeth on my lip.
"Yes, yes." just don't stop, goddamnit.
"What about this, love?"
He slides a leg between mine, rocking his hips towards me and pushing his erection up on my thigh, like finally daring to take some pleasure from this too.
"Mhm, yes, it's alright."
Wanting him to enjoy himself too, I begin to rock my body against him enthusiastically.
His jaw tightens and so does the grip of his palm on my hip, squeezing harder on my flesh.
"Oh, Roza…"
His other hand slowly slides down past my abdomen and reaches my navel area, approaching now another direction.
"Is this too far?" he asks with a growl at the back of his throat.
"No. Just…" his hand reached further down. "Don't stop."
He throws me a cheeky smile.
"Can I go further?"
I don't even know what that means, but I want it so badly, I want it all so badly, and I mindlessly nod at him.
He doesn't wait for anything else from me.
Moving further, I find out what he meant as he slides two fingers in between my folds, claiming my wet, hot core once more. I loved it when he tried this through my panties, I adore how it feels flesh on flesh.
He is going to claim me wholly as his own. And I want it more than anything. I want to be his. In this way. In any way. In all the possible ways.
It doesn't take him long to find my swollen nub and he strokes it gently. Along with a gasp, I moan too because I wanted him to touch me for so long now and now that he did it, it feels heavenly. My reaction brings a smug smile across his face once more.
He comes hovering above me again and his lips come to meet mine as his hand is again busy with stroking my nub, pressing a little harder now.
"Do you want me to stop?" His voice is thick with desire, but still, he asks me this, even though I know for sure he'd hate it to stop. I would too.
"No. No. Don't stop."
"I will stop at any time if you want to," he promises. "Just let me know what doesn't feel good. I will go as far as you let me, Roza." his voice became again dark and husky, full of lust and passion, and he's speaking to me in between pressed kisses on my flesh, forming such a contrast with his lovely words, but even though, I trust him that he means them. Despite his burning desire, I know he'd stop if I ask him. Too well I don't want him to stop.
DPOV
"Don't…" she sighs and I can feel the want in her entire body as she's breathing so hard and at every touch of mine, she quivers.
Her hands get up and she walks her fingers along my back as her hips keep on moving in such a way on me, that it makes me want to explode already.
As a little payback for what she's doing to me, I continue to tantalize her with my touches and her whole body goes mush as she moans lightly, now clasping her hands in my hair.
"Oh, comrade…"
I go further and press harder my fingers on her weakest spot and her back curls towards me, pushing her hips up towards my fingers, and she moans once more, messing with my head so much.
"You…"
"I what?"
"You do… mmm… whatever the hell you want. I… oh… I want to… God… feel them all."
I don't wait for another cue.
I slip two fingers inside her, and she whimpers in surprise, her eyes widening and her lower abdomen clenching.
"Comrade," she whispers out of breath as her fingers clutch onto my shoulders, and she pulls me closer, burying her face into the crook of my neck.
My fingers stop moving in an instant.
"Did it hurt, love?"
"No, no. And don't you stop. But I- um, you, your fingers… are… are… you're in me," she finishes so faintly.
I kiss her hair and I swear I can't stop myself from chuckling. I bet she's blushing so hard now.
"It's okay, love." I get moving my fingers again, reaching a little deeper and exploring her warm, luscious insides. "Don't be shy about it. It only seems this kinky the first time. Tell me how that feels."
"Mmm, it feels… it feels good."
Good.
Changing the position of my hand in order to get again to rub her nub with my thumb, I slide my fingers even deeper through her opening and she gasps loudly, her palms clenching in my hair.
"Oh, goddammit."
She pushes her hips up once more, making me reach a little deeper in between her folds, and she's taking every bit of pleasure she can, joyous cries escaping her lips.
Pulling my hips away from her for both of our sakes, I start to move my hand faster, and I feel her climbing on her peaks, her walls starting to press on my fingers, harder and harder with each stroke of my thumb.
I kiss her again and my tongue is following inside her mouth the same rhythm of my fingers, her mouth responding as eager as her hips are.
But soon, her eyes widen and her mouth opens with a gasp.
"Comrade, I… oh, good God, I…" she squeals a little. "Comrade!"
She is clutching on anything she can get her hands on, mostly on my back, and mostly with her nails, digging them into my skin.
She is coming, crushing my fingers inside her, but I don't stop stroking her nub, I keep on pleasing her and watching her as she moans and keeps on breathing heavily, relaxing from her exaltation.
Moving her eyes and looking down in between us, she rounds one leg on my thighs and pulls me a little closer and nudges her nose on my cheek, her lips reaching my ear.
"Don't you hold back anymore."
"It might hurt a little, love." I feel the need to give her a little heads up.
She nods and as I get closer to her opening, she takes a deep breath, holding it in.
No, it won't work like this. She's anticipating it too much.
"Relax, Roza," I whisper in her ear and she lets that breath out slowly, her body relaxing under me too.
When I feel her body untense enough, I distract her attention by giving her perky nipples the appreciation they deserve, and she closes her eyes and starts biting her lip, little moans forming again at the back of her throat.
When she's relaxed enough, I slip inside her swiftly and easily, hoping that it will not give it time to hurt, and I delve as further inside as to meet her tightness and rip through her barrier.
At this, her walls clench around me as her back arches, and she clasps her hands in my hair, her mouth letting out a faint "Aaah", and her whole body is trembling under mine.
I stop moving inside her.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Biting her lip, she nods. "Go on, don't stop."
But I won't go too fast. I need her to get accustomed to me. So I take things slow for now.
Starting to move again, I can feel her tight, warm walls stretching for me and God, doesn't this feel amazing?
But at my next movement, she whimpers lightly.
"Just a little longer, Roza, I promise. Tell me how it feels. Did it hurt? Still hurts?"
She shakes her head no, but she's biting on her lip hard, like she'd try to suppress something from showing.
I decide to stop moving once again. It won't work if she lies to me.
"Roza…"
She sighs lightly, but mostly in pleasure.
"It hurt just a little, I promise. Almost not at all." She chuckles as her palms walk over my shoulders. "But it feels weird to talk about it considering the position we're in- oh-" trying to get her body closer to mine, she moves her hips towards me. "In now…"
"No, it is not. Just let me know, love. I don't want it to be uncomfortable for you. You should enjoy this as much as I do."
"Despite some, um, pressure, it felt-" she tries moving her hips again, and this time she moans. "Mmm- it feels wonderful."
I let her take control over the movement completely, and she starts swaying her hips up and down into a tight range, accommodating herself better to me.
Soon, I start moving too, matching her slow pace and meeting her halfway.
"How is that?" I need to be sure. As I said, I haven't done this before either and I wouldn't like to mess anything up. "Feeling good?"
Smiling warmly, she pulls me closer to her, her arms wrapped on my shoulders and her leg coming up around my hip.
"You're so sweet, comrade. It feels good. Really, really good. I'm good, don't you worry that much."
When I don't see any sign of distress left on her face, only pleasure, I ease myself further in her, daring to go deeper, making her scream a little, but not in pain, and her hips begin swaying faster.
"Oh, comrade…"
Grasping her by the hips, I flex into her, meeting her thrust for thrust, our paces beginning to get faster and harsher.
"Fuck, love, you're tight," I let out through gritted teeth. Lord knows I could be done right now, but oh, I want it to last.
Frowning a little, she slows down a little.
"And um… is that okay for you?" She walks her thumb on my cheek and looks at me concerned. "Is that like… a bad thing?"
I can't help but chuckle. How could it be a bad thing? I can feel her walls gripping on me with each movement and it feels amazing. It's as if she was built exactly for my pleasure.
"No, Roza. It's not a bad thing at all." I take her hand in mine and kiss her knuckles, then, as I push myself again inside her, I rest my head into the crook of her neck. "You're amazing. You feel amazing."
I thrust in her once more and she buries her mouth into my shoulder and moans there, trying not to be loud. Till now, small pants, gasps and whimpers of pleasure escaped her lips and I still see she's trying to keep quiet at each of my movements, but to hell if I want her quiet. I want to hear all of it.
"Love, let me hear you. Be as loud as you want."
I part her legs a little more, making more space for myself and I push myself again in her.
She gasps-whimpers and her fingers dig into my shoulders.
"Did it hurt?"
"Mmm, no." she arches her back, pushing her hips against mine and moaning loudly. "Do it again, please."
Not waiting for me to move, she pushes her back into the bed hard, making the springs in the mattress squeak as her hips lift to meet mine. But they soon get covered by the loud sounds her mouth makes.
"Oh, comrade…" she whispers out of breath. "Just keep going," she moves her fingers on my back, leaving behind tingly sensations. "You're so…"
And as I make my way in her she throws her head back and lets out a long, so goddamn pleasurable moan as she digs her fingers in my back.
"I am so what?" I need to know that.
"God, you're big," she sighs.
I give her a flirty look and she shies away a little, but smiles and shrugs as she bites her lip. At least she's looking me in the eyes now. She's getting more daring and daring and I love it.
I decide to take things a little further and I lift her other leg up on my ribs, and she moves her hands a little more down on my back, walking the tips of her fingers on my skin, still trying to grab a hold of something.
When I slide inside her again, reaching deeper than before she lets out a small scream, but not in a bad way, I see it on her exultant face.
"That was so good," she whispers to me and starts kissing on my jaw.
Getting the green light from her, I do it again, slowly and firm, only trying to bring her the most of pleasure and her body goes mush under me, and with each thrust of mine, she only gets louder.
"I like it when you express yourself like that."
She smiles. "You do?"
"Oh, yeah." I grip on her skin as I feel so close to losing it. I can't find my release now. There are so many things I want to do. "Totally," I say through gritted teeth, trying to regain control over myself.
I slow down my pace, but as I get in deeper again, her other leg wraps around me, her back arches some more and she moans loudly, fisting the sheet above her head in her palm.
"God, you're killing me," she ends with a light sigh as she spreads her legs a little more to make me more room. Oh, that yoga she's doing is really helping. Her hips are so flexible.
And well, hearing her praising me like that, yes, it boost up my ego. A smug smile spreads across my face and as I catch her eye, she chuckles. It's so good to see her finally relaxed and enjoying this so much.
Our eyes interlocked, she gets a little more adventurous, and she starts exploring me, finally having enough courage to do so, and she is walking her fingers on my arms, my back, my chest, and all the places she touches feel tingly and hot and cold at the same time, and it is crazy how this woman makes me feel with her touch only. I wonder if this is the same effect I have on her too.
By gaining some more confidence, she brings her hands up to my face and drags me to her, to initiate a kiss by pressing her lips on mine, and we kiss as she continues to moan in my mouth with each slow thrust of mine and the sounds she makes only make my mind cloud further.
But I have to keep on to my promise and make her wish come true.
When I feel her on the brink of another orgasm, I stop and turn the both of us around, leaning my back a little on the bedpost, letting her on top me.
She looks at me with her head tilted and smiles while getting her hair out of the way. I guess she already knows what I am doing here.
"Here, love. Enjoy yourself."
My palms are on her hips and I brush the skin on her body, my hands moving up and down, encouraging her to move too.
She starts biting her lip and putting her hair behind her ears.
"Comrade…" she gets looking down and drawing little circles on my chest, not even knowing what effect that has on me. "I told you I don't know…"
"I know. And it's fine. It's not brain surgery. Just do what feels good for you. I will enjoy it, I am sure of it."
A little frown between her brows, she lifts her head to meet my eyes.
"But what if-"
"Stop that."
Before she voices her worry, I take her hand in mine and pull her on me, eliciting a gasp from her as her full chest makes contact with mine and if possible, I get even harder inside her, my cock pulsing just by feeling her pointy nipples pressed on me, and I think she feels that too because she sighs pleasurably as her palms round on my shoulders.
"Nothing could go wrong."
"With me, you never kn-"
If possible, I pull her even closer to me, dissipating even the last bit of air between us.
"Kiss me, Roza."
"What?"
I chuckle.
"You heard me. Kiss me."
"Why?" her mouth lets out fast, probably without even thinking and I only smile wider.
"Because I want you to. I like it when you kiss me first." I like it when she does it all first. I love seeing her daring and playful.
"You do?"
"Mhm. I love it."
She nods and gulps as one of her hands reaches up and she walks her thumb on my bottom lip. I can't resist the impulse to take it in my mouth and suck on it, and bite and round my tongue on it, the whole time as we look at each other and I see her cheeks starting to flush again. But only if she'd know that I would taste every inch of her like this.
When I let go of her finger, she is smiling at me, and doesn't waste any other second, coming to pressing her lips on mine and pulls away, lifting off me a little.
"Oh, Roza. I'm really disappointed."
"Why?"
"That's how I kiss you?"
"Um… no?"
I pull her back to me.
"Then go ahead and kiss me right."
At first, she does the same thing, her lips pressing on mine for some seconds, and to give her more courage to get further, I start walking my hands on her body, moving up slowly, heading to her breasts, making her puff a little as I play with her body.
Soon, her tongue gets more daring and she walks it across my lips, letting me taste some of her, but not enough. I part my lips, giving her more access and she takes it, going further and pushing her hot tongue inside my mouth, moving it unsure at first, exploring slowly, pleasurably torturing me.
When her tongue comes across mine, which was waiting, wanting, she starts playing with it, her breath becoming harsher and along with her mouth, her body starts moving on me too, unconsciously matching the paces.
At her first move, I grip with a hand on her hip and let a swear escape inside her mouth. That caught me unprepared, but goddammit, it felt so good.
She pulls away, looking at me scared
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No, love, no. You did well. Maybe too well."
She smiles and I take her cheeks in my palms, dragging her to me so that I would give her a peck.
"Go on, love. Enjoy yourself." because I know I am.
When she gets back up, she turns into a kitten, patting my chest with her palms, looking for the perfect spot to prop herself on and she looks like she is accommodating with the idea of being in control.
She moves a little unsure at first, but she figures out fast what she should do. She decides to place her palms along my rib cage, propping herself and leaning a little forward, then she begins to rock slowly back and forth on me, her breathing getting harder with each move and small pants escape her parted lips.
She leans forward and forward, until she comes close enough to me so that our lips would touch again, and her perky, full breasts are pressing on my skin once more, while her hips never stopped moving.
When she gets her lips off mine we are both a little more breathless than before and she gives me a smile as she's biting her bottom lip as she runs her fingers through my hair.
"You are the sweetest, comrade."
And she comes closer to me again, kissing her way up on my jaw, her hips still mercilessly grinding on mine in steady, slow moves.
It looks like it suits her well to be in control. And she doesn't even seem to take advantage of it on purpose, but I can't take it anymore. This here is becoming too much for me to keep handling.
I put my hands on her hips and pull her a little down, getting further inside her and her palms round on my shoulders, her fingers digging into my skin as her whole body trembles over mine and she tilts her head to one side, her mouth letting out a long pleasurable moan next to my ear. Fuck, the sounds she makes are completely maddening!
She lifts back up now, and enthusiastically, she gets moving faster and I flex my hips up, meeting hers. I guess I reached a good spot inside her because a loud, strangled moan gets out of her mouth again as she pushes herself down hard, getting me wholly inside her once more.
"Fuck comrade, that felt so good," she says between long breaths and keeps on moving into big circles on me, her movements only getting faster.
Wow, Miss swear-jar just broke her rule. I like it.
But the thing is that I can't keep myself composed for longer. I move my hand down, reaching her bundle of nerves and I circle my finger on it.
She gasps, her eyes widen in surprise and she stops for a second.
"Is this alright?" I ask for permission.
"Mhm, yes, it is, I just didn't expect it," she whispers and starts swaying her body again on me. With my other hand still on her hip, I move too, matching her pace.
But I am way too eager to get to my release and I begin to move faster.
Her thighs press down on my body as she speaks.
"No, no. Go slower, please."
It's like she likes to be teased in this way.
"Anything you wish, Roza." haven't I said it's anything she pleases?
So I get a hold of myself and do as she pleases. I circle her spot slowly, feeling her drip on my fingers and I need to resist the urge to taste her. God, keep me steady for a little longer.
I am pressing harder my finger on her from time to time, and this makes her moan harder.
"Yes, yes, yes, " she purrs tilting her head and she moves her hands back on my ribs, getting back to that perfect position I could reach a good spot into.
I only start moving my fingers faster, wanting to match her speeding pace.
She squeals a little, then lets out another "Fuck" and starts rocking her body even faster on mine, then she leans forward, and after taking a look at my shoulder, she changes her mind and takes a hold of the bedpost with one hand for support. Isn't she lovely, still being concerned about that?
As she has leaned over me, her rebellious hair is now falling in waves around us, her exultant face being the only thing I can see now. She is all I want to see in this second.
With her other hand propped on my good shoulder, she gets breathing heavier and she's moaning harder and louder with each swaying of her body on mine, getting near climaxing.
So close to diving deeply into the pleasure, her body starts shaking wholly over me and I take advantage of the situation to apply some more pressure with my fingers on her.
With a little scream, I feel her nails digging deep into my skin as her back is arching like crazy towards me, her legs start shaking harder and harder until they finally give in and she begins to scream in pleasure.
Her mouth doesn't cease to let out strangled moans as the orgasm is ripping through her and her walls are grabbing my shaft, pulsing and squeezing tightly around me.
Seeing her come, it's like looking at the most beautiful painting in the entire universe. This pushes me over the edge and I finally release too, gripping hard on the flesh of her thighs, and if I am leaving any bruises behind, even though I am hoping I am not, I'll make sure to kiss them all away later.
Catching her breath, she leans forward and lays her forehead on mine. As our eyes meet, she smiles widely and lovingly. She brings her hands up to my face, passes her fingers through my hair and she tilts her head to one side to walk her lips across my cheek, still moaning lightly as she hasn't stopped rocking her body slowly on mine, getting some more pleasure from her movement, until she finally stops, and with a little sigh, she lays her cheek on my shoulder.
I turn to one side and let her lay next to me. After I get rid of the condom I sit on my side, looking at her. I don't think I could ever get tired of watching her. I could never get tired of her, period.
She is laying on her back now, her chest still sinking and lifting at a fast pace, her face still looking joyous. A thin layer of sweat is covering her body and it makes her look so goddamn hot in this dim light that is maddeningly emphasizing all her curves.
Eyes closed, she bites on her now puffy lips and tilts her head backward with a little moan, like reminiscing the effects from earlier as she gets trembling lightly.
I bring my lips on her ribs and slowly kiss my way up on her body, getting to feel the salty taste of her hot skin.
"Oh, you…" She sighs and brings her hand in my hair, walking her fingers lightly on my scalp.
She brings her other hand up and passes it through her dark locks and moves her body, turning a little to one side and pressing her thighs together, trapping in between them the hand I started to slide on her inner thigh, the only thought present in my mind being what else I could do to elicit moans from her, so that those sounds won't stop.
But I stop moving completely and listen to her as she opens her mouth and sighs pleasurably.
And what she says, takes me a little by surprise.
"Oh, comrade. Now I get what people mean when they say they've had their minds blown."
But as the words leave her mouth, her eyes open wide and she lifts her head to look at me.
Seeing the surprise and amusement on my face, she covers her face with her palms.
"Oh my God, this was so weird. I should have not said that. Can you forget that I-"
She doesn't finish it and plants her face into the mattress, only hiding some more, the shyness taking over her once more.
"Can you please forget I said that?" She asks muffled.
An even wider smile appears on my face. She is so innocent sometimes and she says the funniest things ever.
"Oh, Roza."
I make her lift and I take her hands off her face, and she now has to look at me.
"No, love. It's not weird. I'm glad I could help."
She chortles a little. "You're too nice, comrade."
I kiss her swollen lips one more time, gritting my teeth on her bottom lip and she tilts her head to press her lips harder on mine as her body immediately seems to wrap around me, fitting so perfectly everywhere.
"Does that mean you enjoyed it?"
She plays with her fingers along the edges of my tattoo.
"Would it tickle your ego if I'd say yes?"
I pinch on her ass, making her squeal surprised and she gives me an ugly, but still sexy glare. She liked it, I am almost sure.
"It would tickle me to know if you enjoyed it as much as I did, love." plus, I would like to know too if there was something that hurt or else.
"Well… with my vast experience in this matter, I'd say you weren't that bad, comrade."
"Oh, really?" I mimic her playful tone. "I wasn't that bad, huh?"
She smiles and kisses my chest over my heart, then props her chin there.
"It felt good." she now focuses her attention down as she continues to speak. "Like, really good, comrade. I don't even know what I was afraid of all this time."
"You were afraid?"
She nods and starts moving her fingers on my collarbone.
"I was afraid of it… you know… maybe…" she sighs. "I heard, knew it would hurt."
"And did it?"
"No. Just that pressure. You…" Licking her lips, she lifts her gaze and brings her hand up to pass it through my hair. "You were nice and sweet to me. And I'm sorry I-"
Wrapping my arm tighter around her, I pull her closer and kiss her forehead.
"You don't have to excuse yourself, love. It's okay. I am glad you at least told me."
I entangle our legs and she snuggles closer to me, her head finding rest into the crook of my neck, and I bury my nose into her waves, taking in her maddening perfume. I am not ready to let her out of my arms yet. I won't ever be ready to let go of her.
RPOV
"Love?"
"Yes?"
"You're still mad at me for earlier?"
I get where he's heading. We have a habit of jumping from fighting into passionate moments. Is he afraid that this was nothing more than an outburst? Not that it was.
For me, it wasn't just that. It wasn't just an outburst. It was that too. I have kept so many feelings inside, mostly about the way I feel about him, and now that I let it all out, it feels amazing. But it wasn't just an outburst of anger than ended in sex. For me, our union meant so much. I hope it did for him too.
But I don't know what answer to give to him. I am not mad. I was, until I understood what he was telling me.
I lay my cheek on his shoulder and draw little lines on his skin.
"You… did you mean what you said earlier? About taking me away to keep me safe?"
"I did. I do, Roza. That's the reason I am doing it for."
"And… can't I change your mind about that?"
He sighs and lifts me off him to look me in the eyes.
"If I'd have a choice…"
"But-"
"I can't keep you with me. It's not safe. Not at all."
"But… next to you I've been the safest I've ever been. You've kept me safe."
"You'll be safer there."
Knowing I won't be able to change his mind, I nod and rest my chin back on his shoulder.
"Can we talk again about this later?" I wish he'd change his mind. Maybe I could convince him somehow.
"Love, please understand."
He tilts my head and kisses me gently, our lips touching so little. And I tried not to cry again, but one tear escapes and slips on our locked lips.
"Roza, please don't-"
"I want to stay with you. You're the only one I trust," my voice breaks as I hide my face into the crook of his neck.
"Hey. Hey." he makes me look at him again. "You can trust her too."
"Her?" I sob.
"Yes. She's one friend of mine."
"And… do you trust her?"
"Yes. I do."
I nod. "What's her name?"
"Vasilisa. But everybody that knows her calls her Lissa."
"And do you know her for a long time?"
"Yes, I've been knowing her for some years now. She has helped me a lot of times too. She's a good, trustworthy person."
"Fine. If you say this is best, I trust you."
He sighs relieved and hugs me once more, his lips resting on my forehead.
"Thank you, love, for understanding this."
"But how long?"
"Huh?"
"How long… will I stay with her?" how long will I be away from him?
"I don't know. I honestly don't. For as long as it takes for things to get better."
But why if they don't get better? This is a question I am afraid to ask.
"Then, what will happen next?" assuming that things will get better someday.
"I don't know, love. I honestly have no idea what to do next." he didn't get what I meant. "But I'll think of something." He tightens his embrace around me and kisses on my hair. "At least one thing I know for sure. That you'll be safe."
Understanding how much this means to him, to keep me safe, even if he has to send me away, it makes my whole heart feel warm and mushy.
I bring my lips over his and kiss him lightly.
"I trust you with this. And I am not mad. Not at all. I believe you." I trust him with everything.
And it doesn't take much for our kiss to turn into a more passionate one, him getting a little on top of me, his thigh sliding in between mine and his hand again exploring my body.
DPOV
I can't keep myself from having her one more time. For me, she is simply addictive. She is the best woman I ever had, to hell with being experienced or not. It didn't matter, not at all. All I needed was her, being so eager and excited and inciting. Xavier was so wrong with everything he said. He has no idea what he lost.
"Do you wanna see if I can overtop what I did earlier?"
She chuckles. "What are you, some kind of record breaker?"
"Maybe I want to get into Guinness." I am already making my way down on her neck, kissing and biting.
My response makes her laugh for good. "Oh, comrade. I like it when you're funny."
"Who says I am trying to be funny?"
"You're not?"
I shrug. "I am not joking about wanting to be in you again."
Hearing me, she gasps lightly and tries to hide her face away, but I cup her cheeks and make her face me.
"And maybe I can change your opinion about that "not that bad" thing," I continue the joke, just so that she won't shy away even more.
She laughs a little, then her tone gets playful.
"Fine, then. Let's see what you've got."
I look at her, one eyebrow lifted, her daring response rousing me further.
"Is that challenge, love?"
She bites her lips, smiling playfully. "Maybe."
"Oh, you know I love challenges." And I love seeing her like this. Playful. Relaxed. Happy. Daring.
I make my way down her body, kissing her perky caramel breasts and even further on her abdomen.
When I reach her left hip, I notice a yellowish, fading spot on her skin. So, I did bruise her earlier? But it shouldn't be yellow if this was fresh.
I take a better look at it, turning her a little so that I could see her hip better into the faint light of the Christmas tree, and realize what it is. I pass my fingers along it.
"Does this hurt?"
She lifts her head nd looks at me. "What should hurt?"
"This," I say kissing the bruise on her hip. "You told me you didn't hit yourself on the floor, love. Does this still hurt?"
"Oh. No, it doesn't hurt. Not at all."
"I am sorry, Roza."
She lifts on her elbows and tilts her head, seeming confused.
"What are you apologizing for?"
"For causing you pain." and not only physical. At first, my words haven't been that kind towards her either. And not all the other things I did to her, trying to keep her away.
"No. Hey." her hands come over mine as she smiles warmly. I bet that she isn't even holding a grudge for all the things I did and said to her. "Don't be. I needed to learn how to defend myself. It did me good. And…" stopping, she bites her bottom lip.
"And what?" if she'll say that my harsh words towards her were true, I will forget about any physical activity and I will have a talk with her about that.
She passes her eyes along the ceiling, trying to seem easygoing.
"I kind of enjoyed the physical contact between us that day."
A smile spreads across my face. I enjoyed it too. So, so much.
"You did, huh?" her eyes meet mine once more and she smiles playfully.
"I did, comrade. Now come here."
She urges me to come close and I climb my way up to her, getting my face close to hers, nudging the tip of my nose past hers, still smiling like an idiot from hearing those words from her.
She gets her hand at the back of my head and pulls me towards her, crushing out lips together. And as her hips start grinding her body against mine, I already get hard.
"Wait for a second, love."
I leave her hanging for some seconds as I reach for my jeans for another condom, and getting back to her, I rip its wrapping with my teeth, that is how eager I am to have her again.
RPOV
At one point, his elbows give in and he buries his head into the crook of my neck, where he is slowly whispering my name and mumbling some other Russian words.
I don't even have the energy to moan anymore, I just let this pleasure run through me, consume me once more as our sweaty, drained bodies clutch onto each other.
I always wanted to know better this passionate part of him and man, doesn't he know to make a woman scream over, and over, and over again? I mean, I came four times tonight. Only in one night, can you believe that? Wow. This man is a fucking god, in all the fucking ways.
And oh, I've realized one more thing tonight. I like saying "fuck". And he seems to like making me say it.
When both our breaths steady, taking my leg off his shoulder, he slips out of me and after he throws away his condom, he lays on his belly next to me.
"Oh, comrade. That was a workout," my lips let out as I turn and drag my drained body closer to his and I prop my chin on his upper arm, my face so close to his.
I half-grin myself as I meet his amused eyes. Yeah, yeah, I can't stop from saying stupid things. But he already got used to that. He even said he liked hearing them.
We enjoy the silence between us a little move, and this closeness of our bare bodies, I love it.
With his arm lifted and bent under my head, I can now see the other two birds engraved on his skin, that were until now hidden to me. They're blue too. So only one of them is purple. I wonder why.
I bring my hand up and swirl my fingers on his skin, drawing the edges of the birds, considering if I should ask him about that or to keep my mouth shut.
But as I do this, I see something else on his skin. Some red lines on his back and shoulders. Some scratches.
Did I do that? Of course I did. They're fresh. I did them this time. Or the previous time we did it. Does he have others too?
I trace my finger along a red line and as I reach a little semilunar dip into his skin reminding me of the second I dug my nails into his back.
I smile like an idiot as I look at him.
"Sorry about this, comrade."
Smiling too, he turns to one side and puts an arm around me.
"Don't you worry about that, love. I'll pay you back one day."
"Wha-? Come on, comrade. You're messing with me, right?"
"Maybe I am, maybe I am not."
Trying to avoid his shamelessly, full of meaning eyes on me, I move my glance down. And I see a little piece of something lying on the bed, in between us.
I reach my hand for it and bring the little black piece of plastic closer to my face.
"What's this?"
DPOV
She has found the package of the condom that I probably left in bed in my rush, and turns it from side to side.
"Trojan? As in the Trojan horse?" she asks mockingly, then chuckles. "And magnum? As in what? As the ice cream? Don't they have any imagination? Like, at all? Extra la-" she stops with a gulp, her eyes widen and next, they fastly slide down on my body, still uncovered under hers, and she bites her bottom lip as her fingers hold on tighter onto the package.
She clears her throat and hides her face into the crook of my neck. I can feel her cheeks burning on my skin, and this makes me laugh copiously.
I take the package away from her hand and entangling our fingers, I bring her hand up to my mouth to kiss the tip of each of her fingers.
"You're so sweet when you do that, love."
"You say that just so I won't feel bad," she responds, and I could bet all my money that she's pouting a little. "I find it rather annoying."
"I don't. I really don't, Roza."
I love her silliness and shyness and how genuine she is with everything. She's so pure and innocent at times.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah, sure."
She tilts her head upwards and she's is looking at me, her fingers playing along the side of my neck.
"I love it when you call me like that," she admits shyly, then quickly nuzzling her head back into the safety of my neck.
I get closer to her ear and as I whisper slowly "Roza." she shivers. God, I love having this effect on her.
RPOV
I cannot sleep. I tried, but all I can think about is him. And us. I like the idea of us. I love it.
Getting out of the room, I stumble over my reflection into the mirror in the hallway. And I really like what I see for the first time in forever.
I like the way I look dressed in his T-shirt, my hair is disheveled, my skin so bare.
I close my eyes for a second and remember his touches on me and the way he was kissing me a little while ago. The way he told me how beautiful I am to him. I get shivers down my spine and I sigh just by thinking about him and his hands roaming all over me. I love the way he made me feel he meant his words.
I see all the love bites he has left on my neck and as I drag the collar of the T-shirt down, I see the ones he has left on my breasts too, and I can't help but love them all. I know I have been saying that I hate that shit with the possession, but I so love being his. Because I am his. I don't ever want to be anyone else's, but his.
DPOV
Turning around to wrap my arms around her body, I only meet her empty spot.
I have met a lot of women with whom I've slept with, this is a truth. But another truth is that there were a hell few of them next to whom I wanted to wake up too. She is one of them. Too bad she is not here now.
All I see is the messed sheet on her side and her panties that somehow didn't end up on the floor, even though, I know how much we fooled around in this bed.
Leaving the comfort of the bed, I go search for her, and I soon find her in the kitchen, sitting on the counter, dressed only in my T-shirt, a book in her hand, and she's sipping from a steaming mug from time to time.
She is so absorbed by anything that's happening in that book that she doesn't even notice me, but that doesn't bother me at all. It only gives me more time to watch her.
I remain in the doorway and look at how beautiful she is right now. Oh, and how I'd wish to spend each moment like this.
She keeps on reading, wiggling her toes up and down on a happy rhythm in her head, and soon she chuckles, being amused by something that she has read.
Turning the page and letting the book down for a second, she turns a little to reach for her teacup, and that's when she sees me and squeals surprised.
"Comrade, you need to stop scaring me like that. For how long have you been sitting there?"
"Enough to see something I like," I say getting closer to her and she smiles, putting her hair behind her ears.
"Did I wake you up?"
"Not at all. I saw that you were not in bed and came looking for you."
"Oh… I couldn't sleep and I came here to drink some tea, hoping it will help."
"And it did?"
"A little."
Getting a little closer to her, I place my hands on the counter next to her sides, trapping her there.
"You know, I found something of yours in bed and I thought you might need it."
"What?"
"These." I get her panties out from the back of my pants and hang them on one of my fingers.
She takes a deep breath in and in an instant, her cheeks turn red and her fingers slowly try to push the hem of the T-shirt downward, trying to cover herself.
I stop her movement. To hell if I want to see less of her.
"You don't need them, love?"
"I um…" she shies away again, her fingers clutching in the material under my hand. I swear I love seeing her like this. "I might need them…" and she reaches her hand towards them, but I take them out of her reach.
She looks at me and frowns. "Comrade…" she scolds me.
"Allow me."
Her eyes widen a little, but she nods slowly and starts biting her bottom lip, relaxing her legs and slowly parting them.
RPOV
Taking a step away from me, he crouches.
Looking into his eyes, I guess he doesn't even have in thought to put those panties on me.
But if he proposes something else I will find myself obliged to say no. I barely found the energy to hop my ass on this counter. I won't be able to get through another round. He may be used to going all night, but with him, I have worked out parts of my body I wasn't even aware of.
Parting my legs some more, he takes a hold of my left leg and turning it a little outward, he starts kissing my skin, moving upward with soft, wet kisses, leaving delicious tingles behind, heading to my knee. There, he passes his nose along the skin of my inner thigh and stops to look at me, a smile spreading on his face.
And he doesn't stop here. Pulling me a little closer to the edge of the counter, he continues his tantalizing kisses and touches on my skin, and as he gets closer and closer to my already throbbing core, his stubble gets rubbing against my skin, the change in texture feeling amazing.
I relax and let him continue his way on the path of my skin, but things escalate fast and feeling his tongue's stroke over my swollen nub, it's too much for me to wrap my head around it.
I squeal a "comrade" and pull my legs a little together, my fingers clutching over his shoulders.
With a chuckle, he pulls away and gets back up to his feet. My heart is beating like crazy and I keep on looking at the intricate patterns on the tea mug, anywhere but not at him. I don't have the courage to.
Walking his hand under my T-shirt, he rests it on my hip, tilting my body towards him and I rest my forehead on his shoulder, taking advantage of this position to hide my flushed face.
He chuckles again and passes his other hand through my hair, making me tilt my head back up.
"You're being shy again, love," he whispers to me.
I can only sigh and look away in response, feeling my cheeks still burning like hell.
He pulls me closer to him and kisses my temple, this time his tone getting concerned.
"Did I get too far?"
Laying my cheek on his shoulder, I encircle him with my arms and let out a sigh.
"Oh, comrade, no. I just…" I sigh once more and kiss his shoulder. "I just can't wrap my head around it," I admit whispered. This is a whole new level of kinkiness for me.
"I get it, love." he gets drawing little circles at the base of my spine. "Maybe with some other occasion," he ends like a promise, and hearing these words from him makes my whole body shiver at the thought of him not stopping, of his lips on- oh, dear Lord...
I hide my face some more into the crook of his neck. Does he have to always be so straightforward?
"What if we go back to the room?" he changes the subject and I welcome his distraction.
"Sure," I say, my voice trembling with emotion. "That would be good."
I want to hop off the counter, but he picks me up before I manage to do so, and chuckling a little, grateful for him offering to carry me back there, I wrap myself around him.
DPOV
I take her back to the room and as we lay back in bed, we kiss for some seconds.
Smiling silly as she pulls away, she nuzzles her nose on me, but I see her face a little different than her loving gestures.
"Hey, love, what's the matter? Do you feel okay?"
She nods. "You don't have to worry about anything. I am good. "
"Why don't I believe you?" I give her an inquiring, suspicious look. "Tell me, what are you sad about? Did I offend you earlier?" I admit I lost it a little back there and got carried away, forgetting about good manners.
"No, not at all. And I am not sad or mad or anything. I'm just a little tired and…"
"And what?"
"I um… I am a little sore," she admits.
It seems that I exhausted her but God, I can't get enough of her. Around her, I am so insatiable. But it's not like she wanted me to stop anyway. The last time, from what I remember, she expressly asked for it.
"You are, huh?" She nods. "And why would that be?"
"Comrade" she growls.
"What? I am only looking for facts here, love," I continue to tease.
She smiles and decides not to shy away this time.
"Well, if you insist, please do know that someone has worn me out tonight.'
"I wonder who would that be."
"Oh, comrade. You are so modest," She chuckles and punches my arm.
I laugh too, and laying next to her, I pull her on me and kiss the tip of her nose.
"But you see, love, it's just that it is impossible for me to get enough of you."
She starts playing with my hair and nudges her nose on my shoulder, watching me with a faint smile on her face and those goddamn eyes of hers, the way she looks at me, oh, it warms me wholly. It simply makes me want to move mountains for her if she'd ask me to. I'd do it without a second thought.
But as she keeps on looking at me, I see in her sleepy eyes the consequences of our continuous fun tonight.
"Maybe you should get some sleep, love."
"No," she says a little harder and louder than it should. "No," her tone gets calmer as she continues to protest. "I don't want to sleep."
But I turn us and take her in my embrace, with her back turned to me and I cuddle her from behind, interlocking our legs.
"It's already late, love. It's almost morning, in fact. The sun will rise in a couple of hours."
"I know, but-"
"No buts. You will be sleepy all day later."
"I won't," she argues.
"We both know you will."
"I want to spend some more time with you, like this," she says swirling her fingers on my arm wrapped around her.
"But you know I am not going anywhere, right?" not now, not ever.
"I know. But still…"
"Fine. I can't sleep anyway. You are the sleepy one, but if you want to stay awake, so be it."
"I am not that sleepy."
"Do you want me to remind you that you didn't sleep very well these past nights? And on the plane, that wasn't a good rest."
"So what?"
Shaking my head, I smile. She's as stubborn as always.
"And what do you want to do if not to sleep?"
"Nothing much." she turns around to face me and smiles. "I want to lay here with you, like this."
"Oh, that is simple, love." I pull her a little closer to me. "We can do this for as long as you want, and then some more."
But of course, there's always more to her than staying quiet.
She places some kisses on my upper arm that's under her head, then lays her cheek back down, looking at me, and smiling again silly.
I can't get tired of that, of the way she watches me.
You see, brown eyes are so much more than what everyone gives them credit for. Especially hers. Everyone always celebrates the easy appeal of blue eyes, of green eyes, but her brown eyes? Oh, I could talk about them for hours.
Others might see only plainness in them, but I see a whole world that I adore. There is a depth to her brown eyes that you don't get from any lighter colors, and the way she looks at me feels like nothing did before, it makes me feel so many things I haven't felt in such a long while. I can see forever in her big brown eyes, and I want that forever so badly.
"What?" she asks me.
"I should be the one asking that, love. Why you're looking at me like that?"
She shrugs and smiles a little wider. "Tell me something."
"Something like what?"
"Don't know. Anything you want."
"I don't know what you're doing to me, but I love it," I confess. "You… I think... oh, you scare me, Roza. I've never felt such things before. Not this badly. Not this strongly." this time I can feel it within myself that things are different. Everything is different when it comes to her. Nothing feels like anything I ever felt. She changed everything. "I think… I think I am in love with you. That is what scares me to death. It scares the shit out of me. You scare me, love. But in a good way. I like it."
She smiles faintly. "I bet you'll never tell me what that meant in English."
I smile too and kiss her temple. "You catch on quick, love."
"Yeah, I do," she sighs and cuddles closer to me. "Maybe one day you'll tell me that again, and not in Russian."
I wish I'd tell her now. But I wouldn't want to say too much and not be able to stick to it. I don't want to make promises I don't know for sure I can keep. Because I can't predict what tomorrow will bring for us.
"Then tell me something else." I am grateful for her not insisting on it. I know I am not fair by doing it, but I needed to get it off my chest for now, even though if she couldn't understand it.
"Like?"
"Can I ask you for something?"
"You don't need permission to do that, love. Just say it."
"You know, you could share something with me so I'll know what to scream the next time when we…" she licks her lips and lets me fill the blanks.
Liking how that sounds, I walk my fingers along her side, feeling the silkiness of her skin.
"Next time, love?"
She slaps my hand away.
"Focus, comrade."
"Hey, you mentioned it. You said next time. Do you…" I lift an eyebrow full of meaning and expect her to shy away, but she does the opposite.
A playful smile spreads on her lips.
"Maybe I do."
I reach my hand further up, heading shamelessly under the T-shirt and towards her caramel peak.
"Oh, don't you say?"
When I swirl my thumb on her flesh, it gets hard and pointy, her body responding immediately to my touches.
She sighs as her fingers wrap on my hip, her toes curling, but soon, she pulls away and pounds her fist into my abs, making me stop my movement.
"Hey! Don't do that to change the subject," she insists, botherness filling her voice, but I swear I can't help it around her. "Why are you always changing the subject when it comes to your name? Tell me, please. Are you ashamed of it?" she asks raising an eyebrow and trying to turn her botherness into amusement.
"No, Rose. I just… I don't have a name. I don't need to be someone. I am a nobody. So far, I only needed to be who they are asking me to be, that's all."
Getting up and looking at me, she frowns.
"What does that even mean?" she places her palm on my face and walks her thumb on my skin. "Don't say that. You are always going to be just 3-0-5 for them, but so what? They haven't seen past that and they're a bunch of fools for it."
I don't respond. I don't know what to say. That man, that number, is what I have been for most of my life. A number in their lines, a doer without question, a pawn, a good, obedient dog. I haven't been myself for far too long that I don't know how to be anyone else but the one they have made me be. I don't know any better than that.
"But not for me," she continues. "You are not a nobody for me. You're not only 3-0-5 for me. You are a someone for me, besides the one you have to be for them. And I don't even care about that. You are someone different for me."
And oh, I would do anything to do things differently. I would love to be that someone she's talking about, for her. I would like to be that someone deserving of her, of the way she looks at me, of the love I see in her eyes.
"And this someone must have a name, doesn't he?" She is biting her lip, still expecting. "Be someone for me, comrade."
"Is this that important for you?"
She nods. "It is."
I realize that for her, this little thing I always considered unimportant, is a great proof of trust. Of my trust in her. She doesn't just want me to tell it to her. She wants me to trust her enough to tell her.
"I want to know, at least that thing about you."
And I would like to show her I trust her as much as she showed me she trusts me. But there would be a little problem.
"You'll get mad at me, love."
"For what?"
"When you'll hear it."
"Why? Is it Boris?" she gets a little playful.
"Would it mind you if it was?"
She shrugs. "Not really. I could get used to it. But is it?" she asks a little hopeful it isn't.
"It's not Boris."
"Phew, what a relief, comrade. Here, we'll make this. I promise I won't get mad. But-"
"It's Dimitri."
Her eyes widen, then she frowns, already seeming upset with me.
"What did you say?"
"Dimitri. My name is Dimitri."
She gets up to her butt and punches me once more, this time harder and not playfully. She meant it.
"You little bastard! You lied to me."
She punches me once more, then turns her back to me and crosses her arms over her chest, puffing a little upset.
Trying to mend things, I get up too and move closer to her. I slide one sleeve of the T-shirt off her shoulder and place little kisses on her skin. But she shakes her shoulders, breaking contact with me.
"Love…"
"Don't you love me." she turns her head and looks at me, her expression still upset.
I nuzzle my nose across her skin, heading towards her neck.
"You promised you won't get mad, love."
"Well, then I am taking it back," she protests. "It's not fair… I guessed it right and you said nothing."
"I'm sorry. Really, really, sorry." I move my hands on her hips, enclasping her flesh in my palms and pulling a little more towards me. "Could you forgive me for that?"
She keeps on pouting and not giving in too easily, and I must admit that I like this little game she started. I bet she's not that upset as she seems. Of course, she is upset, but she likes to see me suffer too. If she'd be more upset, I am sure she would have already thrown a lot of stuff at me. Too well she didn't.
"Please, love?" I walk my fingers along her thigh, heading slowly upward.
"No. Go away. I am mad at you."
"I am not going anywhere." I take her into my embrace, holding her tight, even when she struggles a little. "I am not letting go of you, I can assure you of that."
She turns her head and looks at me, frowning. "I am not forgetting you that easily for that."
"I know. And I deserve it." I bury my face into the crook of her neck and walk my lips on her skin, feeling her hot blood flowing under my tongue and lips. "But I am still not letting go of you, Roza. I'll hold you like this until you'll stop being mad at me."
Watching how she tries to keep up her upset face and not to respond to anything I do, I can't help it but smile.
Indignation takes the place of that pouting.
"And don't you be amused!" she pinches on my arm, trying to make me let go of her, and scrunches her nose.
As our eyes meet again, she smiles too, her tough façade finally breaking. Then her expression softens for good and she smiles again, so heartwarmingly as she whispers my name.
"Dimitri…" she repeats as she nudges her nose on my cheek. "I like it. I could get used to that."
She repeats it once more and having someone calling my name after so much time… having her call me my name, I don't know. I wouldn't want her to stop. I could definitely get used to it too. I would listen to her say it like that forever.
I hold her a little tighter and this time, she responds to it, her body melting in my arms and her hands coming over mine.
"You're still upset?"
"Maybe."
"And how could I make it up to you, huh?"
"Dunno. I'll have to think about it," she gets back to playing that game.
"Would it be okay if you think about it while we lay down?"
"Yeah, fine," she tries to sound like she's making a huge compromise.
"While I hold you too?"
She smiles. "I shouldn't, but- ah, to hell with it. You can hold me."
I lay back down with her still in my arms and she cuddles better into me, then smiles.
"Thanks for telling me that, Dimitri."
She wakes up just as I slip back in bed, and a smile appears on her lips when her eyes meet mine.
I bend to kiss her cheek.
"Hey there, Miss I-am-not-that-sleepy."
She chuckles, knowing so well that she has fallen asleep a few minutes after we decided to lay in bed, embraced.
Pulling away, I smile too and lay next to her.
Rose moves halfway on top of me, her legs wrapping around mine and she's drawing circles on my skin with the tip of her fingers.
God, it feels so good to finally be so close to her. It has happened a thousand times tonight, but still, I can't get tired of it. I would never get enough of it.
Can't this night last forever? Just me and her here, lying peacefully, surrounded by all this silence. It feels so goddamn good.
Her, here in my arms, she's everything I didn't know I needed now. She makes me feel at ease. And I haven't felt this in such a long time.
She sighs lightly and props her chin on my chest.
"What time is it?"
"It's about morning, the sun will start making itself felt in an hour or so. But it's early anyway. No one's awake now, for sure. What about you? Did I wake you up?"
I just came back from talking once more to Lissa, to make sure where we'll meet, and I wonder if I haven't been as careful as I wished to be not to wake her up.
"No. You didn't."
"Did you sleep well?" for the little time she did, anyway.
"Mhm. I did." she tilts her head nuzzling her nose along my cheek. "Thanks."
"For what? What did I do?"
She starts walking her fingers on me, like counting my ribs.
"For holding me tonight. And the other times when… you know…"
Oh, if she'd only know that I held her for so many times before. And I would do it for endless nights too.
"Love, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, sure, shoot."
"It's about your dreams."
She doesn't seem to like where I am heading, but continues the subject anyway.
"What about them?"
"Did… is it my fault?" she once said it's because of me that she's dreaming that again.
"Oh. I said that, didn't I?" She gets up and puts her hair behind her ears. "I am sorry for that. It's just that until I met you, I somehow managed to get rid of my dreams and…"
"And ever since you met me the dreams came back." she nods lightly. "I am sorry Roza."
"No, don't be. I mean, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything."
Wasn't I the one triggering them? Because I know I am. All the scary things I put her through all these days...
"Oh, love, but I-"
"No," she says determined. "You kept me safe, each time. You still do. And even when I sleep you…" she lays her head back on my shoulder and her fingers start exploring my skin again, her eyes never leaving mine. "It's not your fault. For what it matters, you're helping. A lot."
I keep on watching her watch me like that again. Lovingly. I don't deserve that look in her eyes, I know I don't. But still, I can't find it in me to pull away from her. Not anymore. And I won't ever will. I'll be deserving of it one day, I promise. I'll make sure she'll be the happiest ever. I'll make it up to her for all the horrible things I did to her just because I was so afraid of everything she means.
"Whatcha thinking of, comrade?"
"Nothing."
She throws me a little upset look.
"Nothing besides you, of course," I change my response and I get up and kiss her forehead.
"Oh, Dimitri," she sighs and smiles too at hearing herself say my name. It still sounds oddly wonderful to hear her say it. But I'll love getting used to it, I am sure. "You're such a sweet talker, Mister." she pokes my chest. "I never know what you're really thinking of…" She kisses the spot over my heart and yawns, trying again to suppress her tiredness.
Her eyes keep on closing at their own will and she is trying really hard to keep them open for longer.
"Maybe you should get some more sleep, huh?"
She looks at me with her eyes squinted now.
"You won't send me to sleep again, comrade."
I pass my hand through her hair for the thousandth time this night and she smiles lightly.
"All I have to do is to wait, love. Nothing more." I bet she'll fall back asleep in no time.
"Know-it-all," she mumbles and sighs.
Closing my eyes too, I turn us to one side and rest my head on her chest, and I feel at such ease as I am feeling the warmth of her skin on mine and I am hearing the comforting, peaceful beat of her heart.
I head inside the room with only one thought in my mind.
"Roza. Roza, wake up." I shake her and she growls in displeasure, now, of all moments, deciding she wants to sleep.
"Rose. Wake up, now, please."
"What's the matter?" she gets up to her butt and looks at me confused. "Where's the fire?"
Everywhere.
"Here, take this."
I put the extra gun I have in her hands and the sleepiness in her eyes washes away in a second.
"What? Why you're giving me this?"
"Please listen to me, and don't panic, okay, love? We don't have much time."
"We don't have much time for what? Dimitri, what's happening?" I feel her voice trembling.
"Someone's here. They just entered the building and it won't take much for them to reach our floor."
"And, and what do we do?"
"You take this." I wrap her fingers on the cold metal.
"I... I can't use it."
"Just point and shoot, as I taught you. It is already loaded, so be careful. And just promise me you will use it if you have to."
"But… but what about you?"
"I am not coming."
"What? Why?"
Because I don't want her to die. I am not sure if I can face them all, all the men coming in here, and if there's the littlest chance of her getting out of here alive, I will take it.
"You'll go out the window here and you'll get on the roof of the building near us. Then you'll go down on the stairway attached to that building, and when you get down, you'll run as fast and far away as possible."
"No. I am not going anywhere without you."
She is starting to panic and I need to keep her rational. I get a hold of her shoulders and shake her a little.
"Yes, you are going. We'll meet somewhere. The ice skating park. Do you know how to get there?" she nods. "Good. We'll meet there. And if something prevents you from getting there, you shoot first, and ask questions never. You just keep on running. And if that place is somehow compromised, if something seems odd to you, you go somewhere else and you call me. Do you remember the number I gave you?"
"I do. Both of them."
"Good. And if I don't respond, you call Ivan. He'll come."
"But why wouldn't you-"
"We don't have the time for this, love." I don't have the time to worry her with this.
I lift her off the bed and drag her towards the window.
"Now you have to go."
"What about you?"
"I can't come."
"Why? We could run together."
"No. Because they will come through that door soon enough and somebody will have to keep them in place. To keep them distracted, so that they will not know you're missing. Someone will have to keep their eyes off you. I will. I am buying you time to go away. They want you. And I am not letting them."
"But-" she still worries about me, but we don't have the time for that.
"Look at me. I will stay behind and give you some time, and that is final." I would die doing it. "Now you need to go, or it will all be for nothing."
"Promise me you'll come and meet me."
I never want to make promises I can't keep, but to her, oh, to her I would promise the world.
I cup her cheeks and bring her closer to me, kissing her short and hard, hoping it won't be the last time I get to show her my love.
"I will come. I will come no matter what. I promise, Roza."
She nods and doesn't waste more time.
She hops on the frame of the window and looks down.
"It's a long way down there, Dimitri."
"I'll help you get there. Just grab my hand and I'll help you down.."
"I can't!"
"Do you trust me?"
"I do, Dimitri," she doesn't hesitate to respond. "But-"
"Good. Then trust me that you will be alright and grab my hand and jump, love. We don't have much time left."
I don't know if she heard the apartment's door starting to move, but I did.
RPOV
When his hand lets go of mine, there's not a long distance that my body has to cover until my feet reach the rooftop. He got halfway out the window so that I wouldn't hurt myself by jumping.
He could jump too. He could come with me.
"Roza, go!" he pushes me, and after taking one more look at him, with my heart heavy, I turn around and head towards the metallic stairs attached to the outside of the building, and I start running down on it.
Feeling the cold, wet asphalt under my bare feet, I don't even start to think about the coldness I might feel dressed only in this thin piece of material. I don't even care about myself. All I can think of is Dimitri, being up there, fighting all those people and I pray that he'll be alright.
I want so badly to go back. I would turn around and go back into the building.
But then his efforts will all be in vain.
So keeping his promise in mind, I keep half of my thoughts on him, and my other half, I focus them on running and trying not to seem too odd out here. Good enough for me that the streets are pretty empty at this hour.
All I have to do now is to get at that ice rink. It will all be simple and it will all be alright in the end. He promised. And I trust him.
And everything goes well. I am getting away and I feel it in my heart that he's fine. He is badass. He'll be fine.
Until I stumble over a too familiar face.
"Hey, Rosie, baby."
