+Neethime 2:04 am

ffffffomgomgomg my Master just fucking threw himself into a nuke wttttffffff

+Neethime 2:05 am

HE SURVIVED WHAT THE ACTUAL SHTI

+Neethime 2:23 am

no im not fuckin dealing with this


+Neethime 4:06 pm

Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Figmas $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my Master is dying

+SheroofJustice 4:07 pm

in reply to +Neethime

YOU SAID ARCHER STOLE MY WALLET

+KissTheCook 4:07 pm

In reply to +Neethime

Spend less on figmas.

+Neethime 4:20 pm

In reply to +KissTheCook

no


+Neethime 4:24 pm

see this body pillow? i got it by Crying. my wacom? crying. my dumbass Master? Crying. My perfect nails? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office


+Neethime 5:38 pm

"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the doujin store with my quick NP


+Neethime 7:03 pm

IF THE CLOCK TOWER BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE SECOND MAGICIAN I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL


+Neethime 7:25 pm

if your catalyst doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the holy grail war


+Neethime 8:40 pm

strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian .

+KissTheCook 8:53 pm

in reply to +Neethime

I feel called out.

+SheroOfJustice 9:07 pm

In reply to +Neethime +KissTheCook

For some reason... me too?


+Neethime 10:24 pm

so long suckers! i rev up my np and create a huge cloud of origami. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement


+Neethime 3:17 am

I've come to make an announcement: Shirou Emiya is a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking smartphone and he said his justice boner was

this big

+Neethime 3:19 am

in reply to +Neethime

So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shirou Emiya, you got a small sword, it's the size of this shinai only way smaller and guess what HERE'S WHAT MY NP LOOKS LIKE

+Neethime 3:20 am

in reply to +Neethime

THAT'S RIGHT BABY. ALL SUPPORT, NO DAMAGE, NO LOOPS, LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF BATS TOOK A SHIT ON A DOJO

+Neethime 3:21 am

in reply to +Neethime

HE FUCKED MY SMARTPHONE SO GUESS WHAT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET EMIYA

BAT SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING SOUP

+Neethime 3:22 am

in reply to +Neethime

Except that isn't enough

yOU WILL SLEEP IN BAT SHIT

YOU WILL BATHE IN BAT SHIT

IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU SPEND A WAKING FUCKING MOMENT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT BAT FECES LOOKS LIKE

+Neethime 3:24 am

in reply to +Neethime

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT EMIYA? HUH?

YOU GOT SHIT IN YOUR SOUP YOU IDIOT

+Neethime 3:35 am

in reply to +Neethime

rice field sweeping btich i will END you

took awa y MY FUCKING JALEPENO CHIPS

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THE NEXT EPISODE OF UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS WITHOUT JALEPENO CHIPS YOU FUCKING JUSTICE THOT

+Neethime 3:41 am

in reply to +Neethime

ALSO CAN SOMMEONE PLEAE EXPLAIN HOW YOU SURVIVE ARCHER NUKING YOU IN THE FACE

NO BUT ACTUALLY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

+Neethime 3:42 am

in reply to +Neethime

fuckkkkkk nearly out of sugar cookies and chocolate milk

but I cant ask him to buy more he'll just whine at me

YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD SHIROU

+Tamako 7:37 am

In reply to +Neethime

hime-chan r u ok

+SheroOfJustice 7:44 am

In reply to +Neethime +Tamako

Please don't encourage her.


+Neethime 9:01 pm

who the fuck is scraeming 'LOG OFF' at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

+Neethime 9:34 pm

go ahead. keep screaming "Shut The Fuck Up " at me. it only makes my opinions Worse


+Neethime 1:04 am

i would take so many bribes if i was an executor. half my shit would be bribes. take bribes from the dead apostles until theyre too poor to not die


+Neethime 3:39 am

the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between casters and riders. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

+BlushingBride 9:57 pm

in reply to +Neethime

Fight me, Assassin

+Neethime 10:00 pm

in reply to +BlushingBride

stfu terf lol


+Neethime 5:20 pm

in reply to +Goldielocks

sup bitch heard u was tryna throw hands. fox only, final destination, no items.

+Goldielocks 5:23 pm

in reply to +Neethime

Who gave you permission to talk to me, mongrel?

+Neethime 5:24 pm

in reply to +Goldielocks

k boomer


+Neethime 3:34 pm

can't fight tonight i got ligma

+SheroOfJustice 3:41 pm

in reply to +Neethime

What's ligma?

+KissTheCook 3:42 pm

in reply to +Neethime +SheroOfJustice

YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING THUNDERBITCH


+Neethime 11:54 pm

not to be horny on main or anything but

I played the KFC dating sim and i want to FUCK colonel sanders. I wanna be chicken man's SLUT. I want to date that SEXY HOT 2D COLONeL sanders and FRY CHCKIN with him. FUCK.

+Neethime 12:10 am

oh +SheroofJustice is tryna come after ME for being horny like he wastnt beign fuckin RAILED by that monk issei COME AT ME, MASTER. YOU REALLY WANNA PLAY THIS GAME? ILL FUCKIN PLAY SQUARE UP


+Neethime 12:22 am

Where the FUCK can a girl get some Hercuhunk dakimakuras

Like godDAMN those TITTIES

+Neethime 12:44 am

appARENTLY telling an enemy servant 'oh shit i want you to step on me' is not accEPTABLE to my bitchass master LIke sORrY that berserker was fuckin JACKED


+Neethime 9:57 pm

men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting.

+SheroOfJustice 9:59 pm

in reply to +Neethime

I only told you to take out the trash!

+Neethime 10:01 pm

in reply to +SheroOfJustice

ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT YOU CALLED ME 'THE TRASH?'


+Neethime 7:14 am

god damn Tiger's Wood hitting crits from the peanut gallery


+Neethime 9:24 am

fuckin master just asked if i wanted to go to fucking school with him like ? wtf is gonna happen, its school, dumb bitch. just go and learn ive got hentai to watch on the tv

+BlushingBride 9:40 am

in reply to +Neethime

How sad, having to watch hentai when I get to live it with Souichirou-sama

+Neethime 9:50 am

in reply to +BlushingBride

bitch aint he teaching rn? i bet he doesnt even moan, fkin loser. I could treat you better ffs, slide into my DMs bb ;)

+Neethime 1:27 pm

just ended a relationship

+SheroOfJustice 1:29 pm

In reply to +Neethime

oh im so sorry

+Neethime 1:34 pm

In reply to +SheroOfJustice

It's fine it wasn't my relationship


+Neethime 6:50 am

wtf are you doing shirou you incorrigible troglodyte are you fucking blind i'm literally a god damn bat and i can see how thicc purple right there's looking at you with doki doki eyes

+KissTheCook 6:35 pm

in reply to +Neethime

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I won the Holy Grail War five times over, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Dead Apostles, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top Archer in the entire Counter Force. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Fuyuki City and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid.

+SheroOfJustice 6:41 pm

in reply to +KissTheCook

ok boomer

+Neethime 6:41 pm

in reply to +KissTheCook

ummm whos mans is this?


+SwallowsOverMoon 2:18 pm

Anyone know a place in town with cheap rent? Sudden change of life circumstances


+Neethime 3:52 am

Liz only scrubs use Falcon Punch wtf

+SheroOfJustice 3:54 am

in reply to +Neethime

Are you sure this is how the war gets fought? Tohsaka said something really different


+Neethime 6:30 pm

Hey hey +SheroOfJustice what did you say you were going to do today?

+SheroOfJustice 6:33 pm

in reply to +Neethime

I said I was going to lay some pipe for Rin and Issei, why? And why didnt you just text?

+Neethime 6:35 pm

in reply to +SheroOfJustice

No reason.

+Neethime 7:59 pm

OH WAIT TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY GETTING LAID NVM


+Neethime 4:20 pm

to the samurai looking ass who's stealing my class name +SwallowsOverMoon, no doubles :gun:


+Neethime 4:05 am

Alexander the Great is what happens when you let dumbass riders name themselves


+Neethime 3:24 pm

aye +Goldielocks you got joe in your gate of babylon

+Goldielocks 3:29 pm

in reply to +Neethime

What mongrel dared to pollute my treasury with... "joe"?

+Neethime 3:30 pm

in reply to +Goldielocks

joe mama lmao

+Goldielocks has blocked +Neethime

Neethime 3:32 pm

gottem


+SheroOfJustice 3:53 pm

Hey +Goldielocks can you unblock +Neethime she said she has something important to tell you

+Goldielocks has unblocked +Neethime

+Neethime 3:55 pm

+Goldielocks bitch

+Goldielocks has blocked +Neethime


If anything in this chapter looks weird, blame FFN for being a garbage website and screwing me over every time I tried to use one piece of unique formatting. This chapter was written almost entirely by fans in my Discord, with portions edited (and outright stolen) from the twitter account dril, and edited solely by nd7878.

Saga is going to go on hiatus for a little bit. Might be a couple days, might be a couple months. I recommend you read all the chapters you decided not to read for whatever reason in the mean time, and also check out all the stories I've plugged.

God, I wish I were drunk right now.