Jiraiya had a better plan than Aiko did.

...At least, he promised that it was. "Tsunade and I can do it," Jiraiya swore. His face was locked in the same grimace it had been for the last hour. Debating the best way to kill a former teammate did not seem pleasant. "If we can get her on board, we can do this. We'll take down Orochimaru, while you run interference on his people."

"Can we get her on board?" Aiko asked dully. She rubbed her thumbs against her cold coffee cup. It was long-since empty, but her assistants had cut her off of caffeine for the day. Supreme executive power was clearly working out so well. Sure, she could fire and jail Nishikawa for the impudence, but then who would make her appointments, update her calendar, and remind her who needed to be assassinated this week? She was stuck with the bastard.

"We have to." Jiraiya cast a dark glance out the window, into the night sky. There was nothing to see except the outline of city buildings in hazy, distant streetlight. But he seemed transfixed. "Look, the Sandaime is not going to give us anyone," he admitted. "He is seriously mistrustful of you and Minato. My attachment makes my judgment suspect by extension- he won't agree to move fast enough to meet your deadline. Even if he did- there's not many people in Konoha I would trust to bring with me for this. I can't waste lives against Orochimaru."

Aiko sighed. "I don't like it," she said. "In a pinch, I'll bring both Mei and Utakata. But if either one of them dies, it would be crippling to Kirigakure's structure."

"So we can't let them die," Jiraiya said bluntly. "Look, against Orochimaru… I would not bring anyone who is not kage material. But he's going to have allies. We need to have allies as well, or we're going to get cut down."

"We need to make a call one way or the other on Suna." Aiko ran her hands through her hair. "If we don't ask them, they could take it as an insult. If we include them, the insult to the Sandaime regarding his exclusion is stronger."

"It's always better to have fewer people angry with you," Jiraiya said philosophically. "It's much easier to figure out who is trying to kill you when there's less than 20 suspects."

Aiko gave him a disbelieving look. She sincerely doubted there had been a 2-day period in the last 30 years when less than 20 people had been actively trying to kill him.

He did not seem to notice her doubt. "Should we go to Suna now, then?"

...how was he still alive?

"Let's wait until business hours," Aiko said. She did not look at the clock, because nothing good came of that after 3am. "But also, I would not contact anyone who is currently in Suna. The real power is Temari."

Jiraiya took a moment to place the name. He leveled her with an unimpressed look. "The 14 year old genin?"

Wasn't Temari 15, going on 16? If Gaara was 13, and Kankurou was the middle child, Temari had to be older than 14.

"She's a chuunin now," Aiko said, as though that made a huge difference. "And she'll probably be the next Kazekage. They're promoting her asap. Her political star is rising." Even she had a hard time injecting enthusiasm into this idea.

"Is it," Jiraiya said flatly. "What did you do? Is she here?" His jaw tightened.

"In Kirigakure? Where it would be convenient for me to talk with her?" Aiko scowled. "Don't be stupid," she said. She waited just enough enough for him to relax. "I moved her to an ally in the Daimyo's court after you got here, I didn't want you sneaking around. So thanks."

"Very stealthy, I like that you hide things for no reason and interfere in every country you see. But that maneuvering isn't going to help if she gets killed against Orochimaru," Jiraiya snapped back. He took two jerky steps away and then stopped himself. "Forget Suna, then. Anyone who comes with us has to be A-class, bare minimum."

His tone didn't allow for argument. Not that she really wanted to argue with that. She wasn't looking to bring home body bags, or risk calling on her god.

Aiko had to grimace. Temari would get to that level of strength, but she wasn't there now. Baki would fit the bill, but he was too loyal and she had no personal relationship with him. Baki wouldn't subvert Temari's orders, and she would certainly demand to come along with.

The only contact from Suna she knew who was accessible and powerful… was Gaara.

Utterly unacceptable. No matter how clever or strong he was, he was too young and vulnerable to trauma. He needed more time. She refused to expose him to Orochimaru. "No Suna, then," she agreed. "We'll tell them it was a total accident that we stumbled onto Orochimaru and killed him without inviting them. They won't mind being left out."

Her life was an unending disaster.

Jiraiya snorted. "Plausible." He stretched. "We should get some sleep. Tsunade won't thank us for waking her up."

"No, but it would be a quicker way to die than a fight against Orochimaru," Aiko mumbled. "Fail to protect your head and it'd be all over. We should keep it in mind as an option."

There was a moment that felt off. Jiraiya turned from the window and looked at her directly with the beginnings of a frown. Then he seemed to shake it off. He ducked his head and snorted. "I, for one, want to live. We'll find her after 10 am."

Aiko opened her mouth to make a reflexive crack about it being a shame, but she held herself back. She nodded instead, and went home for the few hours of sleep she could afford to fit in.

Tsunade had not gone far since Aiko had tracked her down. Jiraiya knew offhand where to find her, which made Aiko feel sadder for him than she knew she had capacity for. She caught herself hoping that she did not end up outliving all of her loved ones and relationships, and then choked on the stupidity of the thought. She had to grit her teeth not to let out a laugh.

She was more alone than Jiraiya was. Tsunade was still alive, at least. The only person who really knew Aiko was Minato, and she didn't know him. There were plenty of people who looked like her loved ones walking around, but they were functionally strangers who wouldn't be more than disappointed if she died tomorrow.

'That's not true. I have Obito. I always have Obito.'

What a fucking blessing. She still had the madman who kidnapped her, lied to her, and dug out her eyes to feed them to Zetsu. Murdered her parents. Given her all sorts of interesting neurosis and nervous disorders. He was the truest of bros.

'Good old Obito. Thank god I'm not alone in the world.'

She really did laugh at that. It bordered hysteria. Jiraiya gave her an unnerved look, but did not ask. Luckily, Tsunade exited the gambling hall about ten minutes later, glowing with a good mood. She was well and truly hammered.

It wasn't even noon. Was she already drunk, or was she still drunk?

She took a moment to watch Tsunade stumble on the pathway. Like, this was worse than Aiko was used to. Aiko had never realized that Tsunade had cut back on her drinking when she'd returned to Konoha. God, this was what she had done for a decade and a half? Shizune noticed them first, and tugged on her mentor's sleeve nervously. Tsunade did not react to the tug, cheerily barreling forward. That was a bad sign.

Jiraiya seemed to think so as well. He looked pained, and then pulled on a smile. "Tsunade-hime," he sang. Her head snapped up and she instantly looked more alert.

Aiko took a prudent step away from Jiraiya. Anyone who Tsunade made eye contact with was in the danger zone.

The movement caught Tsunade's eye. Her stare locked onto Aiko. Oh no. "You," Tsunade said. She frowned. "I remember you." She raised a finger accusatively.

Jiraiya gave Aiko an alarmed and sympathetic look.

"You told me..." Tsunade wavered, and then scowled. "That was depressing. I didn't want to know any of that."

Ah. "That didn't make it any less true," Aiko said firmly. She felt like she was talking to Fukiko, when the girl wanted to skitter away from an unpleasant topic. "You should do something."

Tsunade tossed her hair and made a high-pitched whine. Then she slumped dramatically. Shizune barely caught her. "I don't want to," she wailed.

Sanbi made a sound of disgust. Aiko's stomach rolled in agreement. It was terrible to see Tsunade acting so pathetic. This was the most powerful woman in the world, the titan of Aiko's childhood. A living legend. The woman who Aiko had modeled herself after, whose orders she had followed into fucking hell and back on faith.

Aiko realized that she was making a fist. With effort, she unclenched it. "Tsunade-sama," she said, in as calm a voice as she could manage. "You need to grow the fuck up."

The air felt very dangerous all of a sudden.

Aiko took an aggressive step forward anyway, because she was pissed off. "I do lots of shit that I don't want to do, because I am the only one who can do it. A fairly central premise of adult life is that you fucking deal when someone needs you to. And this?" She waved her hand at Tsunade. "This is not dealing. Do you care about your family? I'd hope so, but even if you can forgive that, who else can or will take responsibility for the rest of that shit?" Disgust colored her tone. "The Sandaime gave up a long time ago. He's complicit. Is anyone else going to stop it? You have no idea what kind of body count Danzo has in Konoha."

"Wait, what?" Jiraiya looked seriously alarmed. "What are you talking about?"

Aiko spared him a glance. "Danzo is a traitor," she explained. She looked back to Tsunade. "He's been eliminating possible rivals for leadership for a very long time. Cooperated with Orochimaru- oh, he was probably a large part of why Orochimaru turned to human experimentation and got banished, by the way. He kidnapped hundreds of children and made them fight to the death to make the survivors his ideal soldiers. Been killing Konoha shinobi and citizens, many of them for the purpose of stealing their genetic material. He has 11 sharingan eyes, and material from the Shodaime on his body alone. God only knows what he's had done to his expendable followers."

Tsunade was covering her ears, but it was clear that she could hear every word. Jiraiya was watching Aiko recite the list with open-mouthed horror. Shizune was the only one who seemed remotely composed- but then, she was both sober and had been piecing some of this together from the reports.

"You're right," Sanbi said, with potent condescension. "Now is the best time possible for this discussion and scolding. When you desire this woman's assistance. How clever of you."

The turtle was right.

Aiko deliberately took in a long, slow, exhalation and reached for calmness. "We didn't come here for this discussion," she said. She managed to make it sound halfway apologetic. "Tsunade-sama."

Jiraiya gave a grim nod.

Tsunade hiccuped. Shizune stepped forward, putting her body between Tsunade and Jiraiya and Aiko. "Now isn't the best time," she said firmly. "Jiraiya-sama, Mizukage-sama. Another day would be much better."

"We don't have the time for that!" Jiaiya ran his hands through his hair and shifted his feet. "Tsunade-hime," he pleased. If she had been sober, she might have killed him for the gentle way he leaned over to put their faces level. "Please. I am begging you. Put yourself together. I need you." His voice broke. "I can't do this without you."

Aiko couldn't breathe. Watching this hurt, but she couldn't look away.

Tsunade wavered, making eye contact. Her lips moved silently. Her brow furrowed. And she turned her face to vomit onto the grass.

The sound Jiraiya made was outright painful to hear.

Shizune supported Tsunade in a way that told of familiarity. She didn't look at either of them. "Jiraiya-sama," she said. "Mizukage-sama." Her voice was tiny and ashamed. "We can't help you. I'm sorry. There isn't going to be a good time for you to have this discussion with Tsunade-sama."

Jiraiya took two steps back, gaze locked on Tsunade. He was a wounded animal. He nodded. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yes." He looked away. "Do you have a hotel for the night? I'll at least… I'll help."

Shizune twitched, just a bit, in Aiko's direction.

Ah, yes. She was an interloper to their grief.

Before Shizune could turn Jiraiya down, Aiko cleared her throat. She plastered on a mildly interested and pleasant expression, although no one was looking at her at all. "Jiraiya-san, I'll leave you to catch up." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and remembered that she ought to tie it up. Her heart was nearly down to her stomach. "It seems that we are changing our plans for tomorrow, which means that I have my own errands to run."

There was another person present, another man with light colored hair. He knelt at Tsunade's side with a heartbroken expression. He was the only person to look over at Aiko. They made eye contact. He didn't seem at all surprised when she looked directly at him. He gave her a slow, defeated look, and then a nod before he turned back to Tsunade.

She swallowed. "I'll give you two hours. I'll go inform Mei and Utakata to prepare. We can discuss the issue further."

Jiraiya nodded. He hovered, hand nearly resting on Tsunade's back. "That… Good, good plan."

Aiko would have turned and ran away if she was not required to maintain a modicum of dignity. She walked down the block and turned out of sight before she allowed herself to cry. She leaned against a building face and buried her face in her hands. Her eyes burnt.

She hated the sounds of her own ragged breathing, but at least she was a fairly quiet crier. It was turning out to be a useful skillset. The Mizukage couldn't be caught uncomposed. She didn't get to have those feelings. She had no right to cry over seeing how the people she admired were as flawed and lost as she was.

She wiped at her eyes with unkind force, willing the liquid to dry up immediately.

Sanbi made a soft sound of comfort. Aiko wished that he was physically there, because she really wanted a kind touch. She felt like she was going to break apart.

It was, she reflected, a very good thing that Utakata was not there. At this point, she might actually let him hold her.

"You could accept a kindness," Sanbi said.

She hated how soft his voice was. She hated that she needed the gentleness. Aiko shook her head forcefully. "I don't feel the same way that he feels about me," she disagreed. "It's not… It wouldn't be fair. And it wouldn't be appropriate, as his boss." She leaned on him enough, too much. He deserved better than that.

"He would not expect anything," Sanbi argued. "He is your friend."

Aiko used her sleeve to pat her face dry. She used her fingers to make sure that her hair was falling in an attractive way, and then secured it in a braid. She put her head up high, and she thought about Rice Country.

"Fine," Sanbi said. He sounded as defeated as Dan had looked, as Jiraiya looked, as Tsunade obviously was. "Only Terumi, then. We shall not call upon Utakata. He will be hurt," Sanbi mumbled.

Aiko winced.

Sanbi was kind enough not to mention it. "Your masked warriors served you well against the Akatsuki," he went on. "Shall you turn to Temari as well? Perhaps you should directly contact Konoha as well. Orochimaru's former apprentice may aid you, regardless of her country's stance. Your father will stand with you."

"I am tired," Aiko said clearly. She felt her voice shaking. "I am tired of getting other people involved in my problems. I am tired of being responsible for death."

It was all that she fucking lived. She was dead, she was death, she was plague on this world. Everything she did, no matter how petty, seemed to lead to suffering for other people. She'd started fucking around with fuinjutsu that she didn't understand and accidentally pissed off a man so powerful that he could send dozens of people to assassinate her. And she'd killed them.

And their families, when she fucked over Kirigakure by unleashing bijuu on it.

All the tiny little babies that died when the ancient electrical generators in the hospital failed were at her feet. She'd brought them back but the rows, the rows of little cots in the care unit haunted her at night. Splash, splash, blood on the pavement with Jiraiya and Tsunade bickering behind her, just cutting her way through the city full of scared people trying their best. Splash, splash. Back when they were both taller than her and knew what to do, before they became small and old and flawed.

She took in a deep breath, trying to steady herself and-

Anko made a terrible little gasp, lost under the wet sound of Pein ruining her throat. Her face fell, her head fell too. Her body landed separately, spraying blood and spit. Aiko remembered kissing that throat, sucking hard enough to leave bruises above the pulse point and she was dead, she was fucking dead, Konoha was falling and Aiko just wanted to be fucking dead too and she was going to take that bastard with her

Sanbi made a sharp, alarmed sound that pulled her back to the current day. Dumbly, she looked at her hand. It was hovering an inch from her heart. Aiko realized that she was in the process of placing a hiraishin seal on her chest. She swallowed. Slowly, she lowered her shaking hand.

God fucking damnit, her eyes were welling up again. She averted her face when two civilians passed on the street.

'Good job, moron,' she thought, viciously hating herself. 'Blow yourself up here, and you can kill some civilians when you go. That'd be fitting. Fuck over- god, am I in Tea Country? I don't think I've fucked them over before.'

Her personal demon rumbled. He didn't know what to say.

She didn't either, to be honest.

After a long pause, Sanbi managed to break the silence. "You have no intention of contacting your allies," he said. It wasn't a question. He knew.

She felt her stomach lurch. She pushed off the building she'd been leaning against and started off down the street, away from the quiet sounds of people eating lunch in a restaurant. 'I'm sorry,' she said, and meant it. 'I'm sorry that you have to come with me.'

There was a spark of interest, where Sanbi had an idea- and then he dismissed it. She was grateful. She thought she knew what he had considered. If he told her that she was not allowed to die because it would damn him, she would be trapped.

"I am your friend," he said gently.

She blinked fast and dodged a cart. 'I know. You should take me over before I die. Hopefully I'll kill Orochimaru first. No one else would have a chance at holding you.'

Thank you, she meant.

She just… if it all possible, she had to ensure that he wouldn't end up caught in one of Orochimaru's labs, or dissolved to ignominious non-existence for 50 years.

She went to her office. It was quiet, despite work clearly going on outside. Aiko considered writing a note but she didn't have the stomach for it. She pulled on better armor and weapons from her stash there, lingering over the buckle on her forearm protection. But eventually, she was ready. She caught one glimpse of herself in the glass of a cabinet. Pale. She looked pale, with sunken eyes. Her stomach turned again. She left.

The first wave of Sound ninja fought her. Aiko cut them down dispassionately, wondering how many of them were going to reunite with loved ones. Maybe if she killed Orochimaru, the Death God would let her go back to her reality. She hoped that he would free Minato's soul, too. This was no place for the dead.

She stepped over a girl with pink hair. She wondered if this was a relation to Orochimaru's bodyguard, who had died holding the barrier in Konoha.

Aiko blinked, and the girl looked a little like Karin.

She blinked again and the girl was just a skeleton in subpar equipment, grinning up at the sky. "You're lucky," she told the girl. The Sound nin was probably only a couple of years older than Aiko had been when she had died. That girl got to stay dead. Lucky, lucky, lucky. It was good and right and natural, not at all like what the profane human had been doing. It was not acceptable for the living to take from her realm.

Justice rang in her ears, and brought new clarity to the world. She could see it now, in the last vestiges of life seeping into the air from her people, claimed as her children with a short sword. So fragile. She loved them. It made sense now. Her steps were a little faster. Someone was talking from inside her head, but his voice was unimportant for now. Perhaps later, little chakra beast.

There were more servants inside, but she found that she had no interest in them. Perhaps they had received new orders, or perhaps it was simply fear, but they hung back. None of them dared to breathe, as if that would make them invisible to her.

She felt her steps crack. She gave a glance down and noticed that the weight of her passage was breaking the stone she walked on. This world was not big enough. It chafed. The vessel had been stretched and stretched and she could hold herself in this body, but it would not fit well in this place.

"Mizukage-sama."

The thief was waiting for her at the end of the hallway. His posture was languid, but his eyes were ready and sharp. He thought to toy in the affairs of gods.

"I'm afraid that I was not ready to host such illustrious company. You should have sent word." He grinned, but it was bloodless and thin. She could see how his heart was beating too fast, feel the nervous trembles of his chakra. She raised the short sword. Something dripped off the end.

"Not very friendly," the fool said.

And then the servants closed in from behind. The world twisted, as the thief dared call upon what was hers. The white-haired corpse rose again, without the drama of before. It stared at her with black eyes. She felt a spark of sympathy, a hint of possessive fury.

"That's mine," she said, in a voice that bloodied her tongue. Inconvenient, this body. She had to hack to clear enough air for the next words. "I will take it back."