31 – Ianto
Jack has gone to clean out the nursery and a few things he might think of for bub while I settle in and try to get my head around this. Holy hell … what a crazy week so far right? A man... cats.. maybe a dog… a baby … wow. I am so glad I took the two weeks off from work, my staff so good at covering for me so I could get over the wedding and mind the kids for her honeymoon. More fool me right? I think I will have a major rethink of that now.
Mind you … it is a baby friendly store so I don't' see why he can't come with me when I need to go in to do bookkeeping or such, all I do there now with Toshiko running things with that steely precision of a good woman. I am also glad that she has connections through her brother Koi with the legal world, his Barrister colleagues can no doubt give her more insight into my situation that a website.
He is so tiny and just wants to sleep. Fine by me, I just want to watch.
I don't know how long I stared at the tiny tot sleeping but he started to stir in the end and I got a bottle for him, again relieved that Lisa was so quick thinking to have these ready in case her mlik didn't come in or something. God, how scary it must have been for her doing all this alone. Something we should have done together as a family… could never do as a family. I am still torn in how I feel about her, I did love her after all even if it was not the all consuming fire I feel with Jack. I know she felt something for me, felt bad for what happened and must feel … have felt sorrow in the end for all she threw away. Still … it did make this. Right?
Rhia was shit with baby David. She was terrible and the gormless body part she called Johnny was not much better, me going to the anti-natal classes with her wearing a t-shit in the end that said 'no I am her brother' so people stopped making the wrong assumptions. LOL. She thought that was hilarious. He was a strapping lad, came out screaming for the tit but she was so nervous with him. Her first. My first too ya know but I had that motherly side Mam gave me but not her. Pity. She was better by the time Mimi came along but still, I had moved in for the first six months with both babans to help her. She cried each time I tore that band-aid off and left before I cried too. It wasn't long before she started dropping them off to me more and more, their little voices came in and they would cry for me … she would give in. they learned pretty damned quick which side their bread was battered… at Uncle's place. Little shits. Love them to death, I do.
He finishes his bottle and complains as I change his nappy then let him settle, the burp coming easily as I ease him into sleep. Placing him down on the floor mat, then going to stare into the room next to the master. The spare room I keep my suits and things in . Jack laughed when he saw it, calling it my Wardrobe Room. He loved it. Still … much better as a nursery. He is going to be with us at first though, a bassinette by the bed I think, then when a little safer… I mean older.. his own room here close so we can hear him in the night without him waking the kids down the other end of the house.
Listen to me… WE. Like… I am counting him into a lot aren't I.
Then I hear the SUV and check the time, shit the kids. He picked them up, I can hear their excited voices and I know her broke it to them in the vehicle, knowing the excitement would peak and hopefully settle so as not to alarm the poor little thing who has no idea the madness he has come into.
David is the first to look, peering as the baby lay sprawled in his back asleep in the sunlight.
"tiny" is all he said before moving to sit next to me.
Mimi is besotted, rushing to get one of her teddies for him as she is sure nothing Jack brought home will do. Motherly, fluffing and excited. David is not. I know why and settle back with my arm around him "you know … you were bigger than him. Stronger and so lively."
"I was?"
"I was so smitten. You were hungry and demanding too. You liked your food from the start and I loved feeding you" I give him parts of me "I loved you from the first hold. My little man, I loved you so much I cried. I did, I will admit it. I cried because you were so handsome. I didn't cry for her. I did for you. Jut you."
David pulls something from this and sits straighter, his face starting to change from the sullen sulk to something else, turning to me "so … I was the bestest?"
"David, you are my most special nephew. My bestest and most amazing nephew in the entire world." I say with honesty "I am so blessed you are here to help me right now. Mimi is such a girl she will do fluffing and silly girl stuff… I will need another man about to help me and Jack with this. I know I can count on you, so strong and clever."
He leans against me and seems to shiver then whispers "I was scared he might be more, but he's not. Just different. I still have you right?"
"Always love" I say with surprise, saddened he thought even for a moment I might not want them around anymore "You are my Davey Boy."
On the floor Mimi is laying with the baby now, her face shining with glee.
Thank god he's a boy, another girl would have been too much.
