She was lost within herself again as she traversed the Moonlit Cave with Sai Sahan at her heels. Ellyria would give anything and everything for the weight to be on someone else's shoulders, even just one single time. Each step carried her further away from Abnur and Kaalgrontiid, further from clarity and surety, further from what she'd destined to be her purpose. There were too many dragons inside of her, all vying for a place within, for a place to pluck at the strings that drove her forward. They were hate-filled creatures, each ready to grasp for the chance to drag her down with them. It was bleeding into her, clouding her thoughts with their own drive for vengeance. Kaalgrontiid had allowed them to die for his own opportunity for ascension, and they longed to smear his blood on the ground, to tear his flesh with their teeth and claws, to draw his soul in to join their own in the prison of her flesh. Spite and hate and a little bit of obligation spurred her forward, despite the lack of sleep and the layers of dried blood that covered her.
The door behind the waterfall pulsed with ancient magic, but she had ancient magic of her own. There was no time to search for missing tablet pieces, not with Abnur's life hanging in the balance. And the lives of those on Nirn and beyond, she reminded herself absently. Everyone else was forgotten again in her drive to save the mage that ruined her life. Why was her devotion to him so strong, even when she didn't want to care, even when she still felt the longing for another so far away?
"I'm going to force the door," she finally said. "Finding the tablets will take too long."
Sai Sahan's protests died on his lips when her feet dug into the ground and her eyelids fluttered shut. The concentration overcame her with stillness. Silence filled the air around them, thick enough to be cut with the blade of her sword. Then, her mouth opened, and the roar of a dragon burst forth to blow the door and the magic holding it to smithereens. The cave around them trembled with the force of it, ready to bow to the power of her voice. When Ellyria's eyes took in the sight before her, pleasure surged at the physical manifestation of the power she'd taken from those dragons that suffered her hand. Nothing would stand in her way again; she would make sure of this fact.
Khunzar-ri reminded her very much of Razum-dar. His voice echoed around them as they traversed the Jonelight path, and Ellyria could see Razum-dar's face in her mind's eye. Teasing and pompous, and just a bit too cheeky, it kept the idea of what she was fighting for fresh in her thoughts, even as the pretty idea of walking off the edge of a star path seemed oh, so easy. She could fall forever, letting someone else take the weight of the world, take the life of those she cared for onto their shoulders instead. Even as she thought these things, the vanity and arrogance of the dragons within her would not allow it. Her own dragon's soul would not, either. Even as the human inside begged her to end this madness, the beasts within shouted for silence. They would push her and push her until she crumbled beneath their will. As they pressed forward, Ellyria thought that maybe she had begun to figure it out. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, or maybe it was delirium, but her purpose in Elsweyr, Tamriel, even Nirn began to blur into nothing. For the first time, she was okay with that. She didn't need a purpose. She didn't need a reason. She didn't need to be the favored child, the sacrifice, the savior. She could just be, and that was enough. She would be enough to stop Kaalgrontiid and save the world one more time, and maybe she wouldn't even have to die to do it.
Nahfahlaar was waiting for them just up the stairs of the Dragonhold ruins. Most of the middle floor was still erect, much to Ellyria's surprise. There was no time to dwell on the sturdiness of stone walls, though, when the world hung in the balance before her. She tried to forget Abnur's absence as they made a brief plan to storm the floating island and destroy the aeonstones, sending up a silent prayer to all the Daedra and Aedra she knew that he would be safe. As each dark aeon creature fell to her blade, and each aeonstone crumbled beneath the weight of her shouts, she grew more and more discouraged on his behalf. Would she find him before the end? Or would this be for his vengeance? The fight brought life to her bones, even behind the worries that blurred her thoughts. The specter creatures and dreadnaughts did not bleed, and yet she cut them down all the same. Dancing through Nahfahlaar's flames, she lost herself to the dragons within, allowing them to guide her through the carnage that whirled around her.
"By the moons! It's Tharn!" Khamira's voice cut through the rushing of blood in her ears.
Without a thought to any other, Ellyria's feet carried her toward the mage. Relief rippled through her as if she were nothing but a puddle of rain on the ground. He was okay. She had not left him behind to die. His death would not be another weight to bear on her too heavy shoulders. She couldn't stop herself from bringing up her hand, covered in false claws, to make sure he was really real.
"Late again – how typical," he said darkly.
Abnur's blue eyes bored down into hers. Unsure why, she recoiled at the expression swimming in them. Something wasn't right.
"Tharn, you don't look so good," Khamira purred from behind her shoulder.
She was right, he didn't look good. His face was dripping with sweat, eyes bruised with exhaustion, and his labored breathing left something to be desired as far as oxygenation went. Ellyria swallowed carefully around her too thick tongue, unable to speak as she saw him wilting before her very eyes. Healing hands could only repair the body, not the essence. She would be powerless to save him from himself.
"Ever the voice of support and tact," he said slowly, deliberately. Abnur was going to great lengths to appear less affected than he was. "Considering the circumstances, I could be worse. Unfortunately, I believe we solved one problem and created another."
Ellyria's eyebrows furrowed in the center. "What do you mean?"
"To safely absorb all that energy, Kaalgrontiid needed the focal points. As close as he is to his ascension, safety will be the furthest thing from his mind. If he proceeds with his ascension and makes even the slightest mistake…" Abnur trailed off, removing his heavy gaze from her to look away toward the place she could feel Kaalgrontiid hovering.
"Tharn, what happens if Kaalgrontiid makes a mistake?" Khamira asked.
Her clawed hand was steadying and welcome against the small of Ellyria's back as she came closer. It was as if she knew the other woman needed strength to find her bearings again. The world was spinning in her head and Ellyria was at a loss as to which path would be the right one. Which path would kill them all? Which path would leave her the only life lost? Which path would leave her the only one alive, drenched in the blood and carrying the lives of those she cared for the most? She clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth tight against one another. She was not one to take the hit for another, and yet here she was, wondering how to make them leave so that only she would bleed for this. She was the Dragonborn. She was the sacrifice. Wasn't that what Orland said? Lost in her mind, she only came back to herself when Khamira's guiding hand pressed her forward.
This was it. It was time.
When Ellyria laid eyes on the object of her scorn, the universe fell away. There was only her blade, Kaalgrontiid, and the flesh prison of her dragons. Ellyria swept into battle with the swing of her sword and a shout rolling from her lips. Fire spewed from her heart and her mouth to burn the beast before her into nothingness. She was reckless and wild as she danced between the teeth of death with Kaalgrontiid. Then he was gone, shattering into dust around the blade lodged in his chin. Nahfahlaar sprayed fire upon the corpse made of nothing but bones, letting them float away as ash into the sky. A clang filled the unnatural silence when her sword slipped from between her fingers. From her knees, Ellyria threw her shout of triumph into the sky. Another god had fallen to her strength. The onset of hubris was unfamiliar and alien, not hers in every sense even though she could feel it as if it were her own. The dragons within roared with pleasure, screaming for their vengeance. She had done it. She had done it. The voices within fell silent and cold, absent now that her purpose to them had been fulfilled. Without the burning energy propelling her forward, there was nothing left of her to keep going. With her heart stuttering to a stop and her eyes blinking closed, the last she knew was the dark sky above. Beautiful and empty, there were no stars or gods to shine down on her. She would die triumphantly. She would die alone.
