Chapter 32- A Mother's Advice
After dropping Lexie off at Molly and TJ's, Alexis walked Danny and Scout home.
"You really didn't have to walk us home, Grandma," Danny said.
"Well, I wanted to," Alexis said. "Besides, I want to visit with your mom and big sister."
Danny pushed the door open.
Drew was in the kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee. "Hey! Did you kids have fun with Grandma and Grandpa and your cousins?"
"Yep," Danny said.
"Jonah and Lexie are my cousins. Right, Grandma?" Scout asked.
"That's right," Alexis said.
"You have lots of cousins," Drew said. "Michael, Cameron, and Jake are your cousins too."
"And Nikolas, Spencer, Avery, Nikky, and Charlotte," Alexis added.
Danny sighed at the mention of Charlotte.
"Wow." Scout's eyes grew wide. "That's a lot."
"It is," Alexis said. "Where's Sam and Willow?"
Drew frowned. "Sam is in Willow's room. She's feeling kind of down."
Danny raised an eyebrow.
"Why?" Alexis asked.
"Willow's staying at Jax's for the rest of the week," Drew said. "She said she's having fun with Josslyn."
Danny's heart sank.
Alexis sighed. "Oh dear, I better go talk to her." She headed into Willow's room.
"She's coming back though, right?" Danny asked.
"I don't know," Drew said. "Your mom is worried that she's not."
"But she wouldn't even have her own room there. There's already five people. She'll make six."
"Well, she bunked with Josslyn last night, apparently," Drew said.
"So, she'd rather share a tiny room than live here with me," Danny said.
"Danny…" Drew sighed. "We don't know that. It could just be simply that she wants to spend more time with Jax and Josslyn before she comes back."
"I want Willow to come home," Scout said. "She's my big sister."
"I know," Drew said. "How about we give Grandma and your mom a chance to talk? Let's go for a walk and look at the water."
"You guys go," Danny said. "I don't really feel like going."
"Okay," Drew said. "We'll be back soon."
Drew took Scout's hand and they headed outside.
Danny moved to Willow's doorway and saw his mom sitting on bed with her face buried into Willow's pink blanket.
"I just feel like I'm going to lose her all over again," Sam cried. "I found her just mere weeks before V-Town, and now I fear she's going to want to live with Jax instead."
"Oh, honey…" Alexis sat beside her and rubbed her back.
"And Danny… he's really been picking on both Willow and Scout. And I hate being tough on him because I've already put him through so much."
"Just because you get tough on your kids, doesn't mean you don't love them. In fact, it's the opposite."
"I just feel like I'm such a bad mother and none of them will want to live here," Sam said. "I feel like everything's going to implode and I'll lose this family that I love so much. Maybe I'm just poison to them and they're better off without me. I keep failing them!"
Alexis cleared her throat. "Okay, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you when Danny had cancer. You want to take a moment to feel hopeless, take it. But that's all you get."
Sam inhaled deeply.
"Then after that minute," Alexis continued. "You're going to get back out there and be the amazing mother you have been fighting so hard to be. You are not going to slip into depression again because your children need you. You don't know that Willow is going to stay with Jax, but even if she does, she is safe. Jax is a good father, he's not going to hurt her. And it doesn't mean that she's writing you off as her mother. She's out of D.O.D., she's out of V-Town. She's safe. I'm not saying it won't hurt if she chooses to live with Jax, it probably will. But if that's the case, you need to show her that you're going to support her and always be there for her no matter what. Because in this situation, neither you nor Jax comes first, Willow does. It's about what's best for her."
"I know… I just want to give her the stability that I couldn't give her growing up."
"I know. Trust me, I know. That's how I felt about you… but I'm not going to get into comparisons because this is about Willow. Look, you said she's having fun with Josslyn. Well, that's her sister, so that's a good thing."
"I know… I want her to connect with them too," Sam said. "I'm not trying to compete with them."
"Yes, and it doesn't mean she doesn't want to live with you. School starts tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah."
"And are you planning to take Danny and Scout?" Alexis asked.
"For their first day, yes," Sam said.
"So, you'll get to see Willow then," Alexis said.
"But that's not the same," Sam said.
"No, but it's the same Willow. You can use tomorrow as an opportunity to show interest in her new job. You can show her that you'll be supportive in anything that she does. Show her that you want to be in her life. That you want to be her mother, whether she lives with you or not. And I believe that she'll want the same thing more and more as you show her that you love her."
"I do love her. I've loved her since I saw her first ultrasound and found out she was a girl. And when she first kicked…" Sam pushed away some tears with the palm of her hand. "I love all of them. But I don't know how to get through to Danny."
Danny lowered his gaze.
"Well, it'll probably take some time," Alexis said. "But even with him, just be there for him no matter what. Yes, be firm when it's needed, but at the end of the day just make him feel loved. "Is there something you can do, just the two of you?"
"Well, we both love swimming," Sam said. "I don't want to take him in the lake though. Not with Valentin and the Marchesis lurking about."
Danny's eyes grew wide. He better not let them find out he plans to meet Angelica at night…
"You could always swim in the pond," Alexis suggested. "I know it's not that big, but it's something. We could even build a pool at Wyndemere. I just feel like other things are taking priority right now…"
"Of course."
"Now, Scout…" Alexis sighed. "I'm a bit worried about her. She had a nightmare last night. She didn't say what it was about though."
Sam frowned. "She wakes up screaming most nights. She won't tell me about the dreams, but I know it must be about V-Town. I'd like to get her back into therapy once Kevin and Andre start taking patients."
"I just worry that there's going to be a lot of people wanting to get into therapy," Alexis said. "I'll talk to them. I think the children should be at the top of the list."
Danny groaned. She better not be including him on that list… He moved away from Willow's room and into his own. He plopped down on his bed. At least school would be starting tomorrow. He was dying to bury himself into homework again.
