Chapter Thirty-Four

Leaving Clay with Foggins felt like leaving one of his kids at a friend's house who he doesn't particularly trust and just hoping that his own could handle themselves. He knew that he shouldn't feel like that about Clay as he wasn't his, but at the same time, he was one of his men, his brother in arms, not a son. But he couldn't help it. he felt like he was every bit of his son in all but blood. He knew that having those feelings about one of his men was dangerous as he didn't know if he could cope with losing anyone else but he couldn't stop those feelings. He had tried. He had tried to keep Clay at arm's length in the beginning when he had first drafted Clay and he saw others try to do the same. But he had failed at that, they all did. Clay became one of them. But with that Clay always brought out his protective side. His fatherly instinct on making sure that Clay was safe, even on missions he would often find himself keeping an eye on where Clay was and if he couldn't see him then he would often find himself holding his breath when Clay didn't answer his calls straight away. The kid had gotten to him and it was all Ray's fault. Ray had wanted Clay and he quickly made a reminder to make sure that Ray knew about it.

Their plan had been a simple one and with Ray's help, they were all set. Get Clay somewhere he felt safe which on base was two locations, ever the cages or the gun range and get him to confront his past. The cages were a no go as there was a very high possibility that one of the team or support team would spot them and grass on them. So the gun range was it. Clay always felt safe there, often when it was quiet the kid would spend hours up there alone shooting at targets. A safe and quiet place for the kid to face his past in order for him to heal now. Jason had to shake his head when that came to mind as he knew that he sounded like Ray a little bit and that slightly scared him a little. Maybe he was spending a little too much time with his brothers. Also, he knew that with Clay feeling like he couldn't speak to them, then getting someone from his old team was only going to help Clay get everything out. He didn't need to pretend with him and from what Foggins had said to them, Clay was very much like a brother with them before he left for Green Team.

Sadly the kid had hidden a lot about his past from them, something that they didn't want to force out of the kid if he wasn't ready. They had to trust Clay to open up when he was ready. But all that pain that the kid was carrying around wasn't helping his current state. The demons that were in Clay's head were fighting him. They all could see that. They all had them but at the minute Clay's weren't locked in their cages anymore. Normally they locked their own pain away in cages inside their heads in order to function as normal human beings but with Clay, the pain of being with what he had gone through had caused damage to those cages, freeing the demons. They needed to get the kid to lock those demons away again and in doing so facing them as well.

Running away from the problem wasn't going to work this time. They all knew that without facing their problems only prolonged their own suffering. And sadly they all knew someone who had finally cracked because of them. Brett being one of them. Brett had taken his own life because he couldn't deal with the demons inside and in turn, had caused Clay to blame himself for not being able to save a brother. But Brett's death hadn't just affected Clay, it had also affected him. He had failed yet another brother and in turn, had forced another brother to have to deal with their brother's death alone, all because he couldn't be there for him...for both of them. He knew that he shouldn't blame himself just like Clay shouldn't blame himself for a lot of things but Clay needed to be better than him. Be a better man and Seal. Just be better. But he also knew that he couldn't put all that responsibly onto Clay when it was his job to help Clay become better than him. He had to teach him how to be better.

With their plan in motion, he knew that he would only have a few hours before they were caught. So he had to make the most of it because when their brothers found out about their plan then they were going to hit the roof. Sonny and Brock he could deal with. Mainly because Sonny would just complain about him not being invited to shoot things and Brock because he had plans. But the one person that he was more worried about was Trent. Because he knew that they were going to get the riot act read to them the moment he found out about it.

Trent was the best medic in the Seals and was the reason why he wanted him. Trent would do anything to protect his brothers, even pushing his own limits to try his best to make sure that they returned home alive and well. The guy could be harsh but they needed that. An injured Seal would never admit to being injured and it took someone strong-willed to drag it out of them when they were. That man was Trent. Jason also knew that he would often go off on his own to learn new skills and techniques that could one day save one of their lives. To be truthful, he had already saved their lives more times then they could count.

Trent may be the best medic but he was also the biggest mother hens he had ever meet and more so when it came to Clay. Clay may be the youngest of them which meant he was the little brothers but that also meant that they all babied him. It didn't matter that Clay was a well-trained Seal who had been in a lot of tuff situations before joining them, he was still their kid. They were all overprotective of him and because of that, both Ray and Jason knew that they would have never allowed their plan to go ahead.

All they would see was the overall risk to Clay's health. And they had a point, physically he knew Clay would heal. Bones would heal, muscles would kit together and the skin would heal. But all of that would take time. And sooner or later his kid would be back driving him up the wall with Sonny in no time. But it was the mental side of it all that had him worried. He knew that with Clay starting to talk to them meant he was finally understanding that bottling everything up was never a good idea. He was the prime example of that. And he wasn't about to let Clay follow in his footsteps. He was going to make sure that. But also knew that by pushing Clay, the others would see that as well and they all knew how much Clay was in pain right now. There was a risk that they would push the kid to breaking point without meaning too. But they had no chose.

Their clock was ticking, not that their brothers knew it. But they were running out of time.

To be truthful, their plan had been set in motion one night after they had sent everyone home and Clay had gone to bed. Jason remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. It was a conversation that he would never forget. As he drove towards the shops he remembered that that night was when he had thought everything was finally falling back to normality, but only to find that his world was once again being hit by another storm.

-Flashback-

Jason sighed and looked around at his empty apartment, all expect Ray. He had finally been able to send the rest of his brothers home which had been a fight in itself. He loved his brothers, he did. But sometimes he wanted to kill them. Sonny mainly though. God, sometimes he had no idea how he hadn't killed the man yet with all the crazy stuff he got up too. Gladding two cold beers from the fridge he moved into his living room, he missed the silence of his place but at the same time, he knew that Clay needed to stay with him. His brother needed him.

"Here." He said as he handed Ray the other bottle of beer before throwing himself onto the couch next to Ray.

"Thanks brother," Ray said as he opened the bottle and took a sip. He knew Jay wanted to talk about something but knew that Jay wouldn't open up with the others around.

"Want to talk about it?" Ray asked holding his beer in his hand as he watched his brother carefully. He had known Jason for years and knew when he was doing his best to keep something to himself without others seeing that he was upset.

Jason took in a large slug of his beer, the cold liquid hit the back of his throat with the force of a flash grenade and let his head fall back against the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling. He really didn't want to have this conversation here and now with Clay being so close but Ray wasn't about to let this go. He knew his brother too well, "Do you think Clay's going to be ok?" He asked quietly, he had filled Ray in on Clay's odd behaviour a few days ago. He had hoped Ray would have some answers to what they could do to help Clay recover from this but had gotten nothing. Now he just hoped that now Ray had something to say on the matter.

"I don't know brother..." Ray started and looked down at the bottle in his hands. They were all worried about Clay. The kid wasn't completely back to normal but at the same time they couldn't work out if what Clay was doing was real or was an act. "Clay is going to get there eventually brother, with our help," Ray said taking another sip from his beer hoping that Jason would understand that this wasn't a sprint but a marathon.

A knock on the door caused both of them to turn suddenly. They weren't expecting anyone to turn up this late, Jason suddenly had a worrying thought that maybe Sonny was back drunk. But more surprising for both Ray and Jason was the fact that Blackburn walked in closing the door behind him. Both of them locked eyes and knew straight away that whatever Blackburn was going to say to them they weren't going to like it. He was also in full uniform which meant he had just come from base which only meant the cake eaters were causing problems. Again.

"Evening Blackburn," Jason said getting to his feet and quickly headed to the kitchen to pick out another beer from the fridge. He knew his Blackburn would, no need a drink after dealing with those cake eaters and quickly opened it and retook his seat on the couch as Blackburn throw himself into one of the chairs.

"How's our boy doing?" Blackburn asked nodding a thanks to the beer because he sure as well needed it. He had been getting reports on Clay's condition and had popped in a few times to see them but normally Clay was either asleep due to the meds or he was in the bathroom getting his wounds checked on.

"Better, he's getting better but we still have a long way to go," Ray said placing his bottle on the tablet before pulling out his phone to check on the time.

"Good..." Eric said taking a sip of his beer before continuing. "Thought I would find all of you here? Or are they camping out in Clay's room?" He had expected to walk in to find the living room to be filled with the rest of Bravo, instead, he found his 1IC and 2IC alone.

"No, I sent them home," Jason said with a small smiled and shook his head; he also knew that he wouldn't put it past his team to actually be camped out in Clay's room. For god sake, Sonny had actually camped on it Clay's room for a week. "Cerberus has a vet appointment for his vaccinations in the morning so Brock took him home as whenever he is here he wouldn't leave Clay's side. And Trent chose to take Amber out for dinner so he will be back in the morning." Jason finished taking another drink from his beer.

Eric smiled and nodded. "And Sonny?" He had noticed that Jason had left out their hotheaded Texan.

"We kicked him out when Lisa came to get him an hour ago. He put up a fight but the promise a beer and a take out. She is going to keep him at his place till morning. Well, at least she is going to try." Ray said with a little grin. Lisa had Sonny wrapped around her little finger.

Blackburn laughed at the comment but knew that it was true. "Ain't you going home, Ray?" He asked taking another drink, it was off that all the others would leave but Ray wouldn't. Out of all of them, Ray was married with kids so he thought that Ray would be the one to leave first. But at the same time, Ray was closest to Jason and even he could tell that there was something going on with his 1IC. Something that could cause them more problems.

Ray shook his head but smiled all the same. Normally he would be the first one to leave and spend some time with his beautiful wife and his two amazing kids but at the same time, his brothers meant a lot to him. Jason and Clay needed him. Thankfully Naima understood why he needed to be with his brothers, she also knew that Jason may think he was fine and tried to act fine but his cracks in his armour were on show. "Naima gets off her shift in an hour and I'm meeting her then to get some dinner, her parents are looking after the kids tonight."

Eric nodded. Marriages and relationships normally never lasted in the Teams. His marriage had hit the rocks a few times in his career but thankfully they had been able to stay strong even through their struggles. But sadly not everyone was so lucky. Jason and Trent, both lost relationships due to the job. Trent might have found a new relationship with Amber, but they all knew that that could change any moment. Even Clay had problems with his relationships but thankfully the kid was young. Ray and Naima were a mystery to all of them but at the same time, Naima was an amazing woman. "Bet she is glad to have you home?" Blackburn asked leaning back into his chair. Today had been a long day, it was nice just to talk to his men like normal.

"Don't know about that, she isn't pleased with us still," Ray said smirking at Jason as he took a drink, thankfully his wife had forgiven him for what had happened but knew that she was still mad at Jason. Jason scolded him with a look but didn't say anything. How could he? He was still trying to think of a way to make it up to her without having to admit she was right. Clay should have been in the hospital and the collapse on base had only proven that.

"Clay asleep?" Eric asked. Looking around to see where Clay might be; he had expected to see Clay, or at least see him get a drink with he commonly ended up doing even if his pain meds had knocked him out at the start.

"Yer, Trent gave him some meds before he left and it knocked him out," Ray said. The painkillers that Clay was still on may have been cut down but Trent had started to give him a higher dose at night to allow the kid to sleep through the whole night. His ribs made it nearly impossible to get comfortable and lately his shoulder has started to ace more when it wasn't supported. Trent had reassured them that it was just the healing progress and maybe Clay needed to keep the sling on a little longer. All Ray took from that however was the kid was healing but not as quickly as they all would like.

"So what brought you here this time of night Blackburn?" Jason asked as he emptied the remaining bottle into his mouth. All he wanted to do was to go to bed and sleep for a week but he knew that Eric would only be here if something was happening that involved them. He just wished that it didn't involve them being deployed when Clay needed him...them the most.

"I just finished been briefed with the brass about Clay's report and what they thought of our actions after the fact." Blackburn started to say but as soon as he did so his eyes fell onto the bottle in his hand. He knew that his men weren't going to like what he had to say. But it was better that it came from him then someone else.

"And?" Jason snapped. He knew that something was going on and he needed to know now before he exploded.

"What are they saying?" Ray asked. He wasn't liking this at all.

"They were happy with Clay's report and have cleared him," Eric said nodding his head at the good news.

"Good, Clay was the victim here," Ray stated. They all knew Clay was the innocent party here but they knew that the brass loved causing problems.

"I know." Blackburn sternly said. He knew Clay had suffered because of mistakes made by others but at the end of the day, the brass wanted results.

"What about us?" Ray asked if Clay had been cleared by the brass then the problem that was stressing Blackburn out was aimed directly at them and how they had found Clay.

"They weren't happy the fact that we involved the Brits but they are swallowing their pride for the fact that we were brayed by one of our own. We're in the clear for now." Blackburn stated, really he was just reporting what had been reported to him. He was happy that they had been cleared but knew that they were unlikely to hear the end of it.

"Good... Good." Jason said but in the end, he started to mutter to himself. He was happy that he and his team were cleared but that didn't stop the feeling that there was a storm coming.

"Ok, so what's the bad news?" Ray asked. Blackburn was holding something back and they both could see it.

"Why do you think there is bad news?" Eric asked hoping that he could get them to drop the subject but knew better of it.

"Because you wouldn't have driven all the way here with only good news," Jason said shaking his head, he knew Blackburn was holding something back and he wanted to know why. "What's going on Blackburn?"

"The brass have read Clay's health report from the doctors and with the injuries he has, it is unlikely he will be able to report back for duty for a while," Eric said slowly hoping that if he broke the news more slowly then he hoped that he could do some damage control.

"And it took him around eight months to get back to fitness with his leg and then they sent him on a mission without even been cleared," Ray said he was just stating the facts. Clay was one hell of Seal. And this time, he was going to do the same but only better. They all knew that he was going to kick all the records and be back with them in no time.

"I know," Blackburn said knowing that that was true. Everyone thought that Clay would have been out over a year before been allowed to return but he had made it in eight months. Well nearly had.

"So what do they want him to do smash that? If so then you're telling Trent." Ray said putting his now empty beer bottle on the tablet next to Jason's. If the brass thought that they could push Clay to get back before he was ready then they were wrong. There was no way in hell were they going to let them possibly hurt there brother by pushing him too far. No way.

"It's not that..." Blackburn started to but then paused. This was one of the hardest things he had to, but he needed to do it.

"Then what?" Jason snapped. He was losing his patience now.

"They just want you to take on a draft until Clay is cleared to return to duty." There he said it. Eric had finally gotten the words out. He had gotten the poison words out of his mouth. He hatred believing bad news to his men but sadly that was his job.

"What? They want us just to replace him?" Ray snapped and quickly shot up from his seat so he was resting his elbows onto his knees. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The brass wanted them to replace Clay? What the hell for? The kid wasn't out yet, he would heal and get back to them tougher than ever.

"Just until they clear him to return," Eric said but knew that it didn't matter anymore. Bravo knew that the brass wanted them to replace Clay and that was all they were going to hear.

"No. Nope. Not happening!" Jason snapped allowing all the anger to appear in his voice and he found himself on his feet pacing the room. He couldn't stop himself, the cake eaters were trying to take their kid away from them. His kid. That wasn't happening. Nope. He wasn't going to let that happen.

"Don't they realise Clay is going to think we are replacing him?" Ray asked, not wanting to think about how Clay was going to react to the news. The kid was already douting his place within Bravo and then the brass go and do this to him. He would think that he was worthless. That he was done when he was far from it.

"We're not. Clay's place on Bravo will still be there for him when he gets cleared." Eric said hoping that they would believe him. They weren't about to lose Clay after everything that had happened. He wasn't about to lose the kid that everyone knew would one day take over 1IC on Bravo.

"Why? What reason do they have for this? What is their excuse?" Jason demanded, gone was the fact he was talking to his CO. He wanted answers but at the same time knew better than to raise his voice too much, not wanting to wake Clay back up.

"They worried about the brain bleed. They had to crack his skull, with a brain injury that bad they are concerned that maybe he will have other issues if he returns to duty." Blackburn said getting to his feet and moving towards Jason. He needed his 1IC to learn to him.

"I have been whacked a few times in the head, so has Ray, hell Sonny is still operating." Jason snapped looking directly at Blackburn, the brass wasn't going to get away with telling Clay he was done. When he wasn't. Not yet.

"I know that Jason but with everything else they are worried that maybe Clay's body wouldn't be able to operate again," Eric said crossing his arms.

"Bottom line Blackburn, are they talking about discharging him?" Jason asked hoping that maybe he was overthinking things.

"Maybe," Eric said sadly. He just hoped that they took the news better than he did. He had nearly killed the commander that told him and now he was the officer in charge of keeping the dogs in their kennels.

-Flashback ends-

Jason knew that his team was going to hit the roof when they found out. But he also knew that he couldn't keep it a secret for too much longer. They needed to know and so did Clay because this wasn't going away. They had to face it now and fight it together. Like always.