Hello! Thanks for reading so far, comments and follows So this chapter is a little different.
Chapter 32: I've been talking to your shadow
Week 1: Thursday
'Here, you carry these. I'll clear the path,' Natalie announces. Amelia nervously looks down at the tray of six drinks and grabs it carefully with both hands. 'Watch where you are going!' Natalie calls ahead of her to a swaying drunk man. She shouts back to Amelia 'when is he coming home?' Amelia is focused on the tray and her answers are short, 'a month, maybe.' Natalie looks back surprised, 'you are going to be climbing the walls, what with someone turning off your tap.' Amelia rolls her eyes and nearly drops the tray as she gets distracted. 'It's not just that, I miss him. I don't think Rosie quite understands either, he's been there almost every day for weeks and now it's like I imagined it all.' Natalie turns to her smirking 'wait, who's this Steve you speak of?' She jokes, just as they approach the table. There's five Manhattan Matters colleagues squeezed into a booth and Natalie asks their boss, 'Mark, to what do we owe this pleasure, you never join us?'
He's in his late forties, with speckled greying hair, he has rectangular glasses and a tidy beard. He leans back and explains, 'well, you finally twisted my arm, Natalie, think of it as team building.' Someone else jokes, 'so, are you paying all night then?' Mark just raises his eyes brows. Then he locks his gaze onto Amelia. She's on the end of the table on a stool, looking around, enjoying her drink. 'Amelia, why didn't you tell us about your new beau?' He questions. Natalie looks suspicious, suddenly understanding why Mark might have decided to join them. 'Me?' She squeaks out in surprise. 'Yes, you, you are dating Captain America. Or am I wrong?' Amelia nods and swallows her mouthful of cocktail. There's a hush all around the table. 'Steve and I are a couple, yes,' she says softly and diplomatically. There's gasps and shock around the table and Natalie leans in, adding, 'I knew!' Everyone ignores her and Amelia is plagued with questions. She picks the first she hears, 'well, we met at that interview I did, the very first one. He was such a nice guy and then we just kept bumping into each other.' Someone coos and someone else makes a vomiting noise. Amelia takes the opportunity to pull her phone out and frowns when there is nothing from Steve. He's been gone just over four days and she's frustrated already. 'Do you think he will come on the show more?' Someone asks and Mark looks very interested. Amelia drinks to give herself time to respond. Placing her glass down, 'maybe, depends on the topic, I'm not using him for interviews.' Someone makes a lewd joke about using him for other things and Amelia just blushes, trying to ignore them. Someone walks past and knocks into Amelia, it feels intentional and when she looks up at the person, a girl is staring at her, wide eyed. 'Oh my God, don't you date Captain America?' Amelia's mouth opens and she quickly responds, 'no.' Everyone boos, cheers and shouts, 'don't lie!' The girl looks hopeful, 'he is so hot, you are so lucky.' Amelia just nods and hums in agreement, wondering if she overheard them. The girl saunters away with a 'later.'
Turning back to the group, Natalie leans in, 'you will get a lot more of that!' Amelia gulps anxiously, wondering why people only seem to see looks. Mark calls over to her, 'the Winter Soldier interview is brilliant, Amelia; you should be very pleased.' She looks at him in surprise and frowning says, 'its's Bu-James actually, the Winter Soldier no longer exists, he doesn't wish to be called that.' Mark smiles knowingly and raises his hands in defeat, 'my mistake.' Another colleague shouts to her, 'that will be huge when it goes out, he's a fucking hunk.' Amelia nods slowly and tries to ignore how they are talking so casually about the people in her life.
Someone shouts and points over their heads. Amelia looks across to the bar and spots the TV screen above it. Loud cheers erupt and footage of Avengers can be seen on the nightly news. Amelia's heart rates picks up at the sight of Steve, talking to the cameras. Natalie leans in, 'he is a good looking boy, I'll give you that. I swear, time will fly, Mia.'
Week 1: Friday
Friday morning the interview airs and everywhere is alight with chatter and discussion over the new super hero, James Barnes. Andi and Amelia sit on their couch; pyjama clad and watch as it airs live. Amelia spends most of her time face down in a cushion, fingers in her ears. Andi laughs at her sister, munching on her toast and staring lovingly at Bucky, she feels so proud of him. Rosie is sat on the floor, close to the TV, pointing, she cheers 'Bucky!'
Andi talks with her mouth full, 'I mean he's so hot, right? Like so hot.' Amelia shrugs from behind the cushion, 'I guess.' She can hear herself asking the questions and she winces, embarrassed by her own voice. 'He's good, he's really good,' Andi comments in awe. Amelia watches her, 'where did you go, half way through?' Andi snaps her mouth shut, 'uhh, just felt a bit hot under the lights, now shhhh, it's on!' Amelia cringes at the interview at times, but never at Bucky's honest answers.
A stream of comments flash along the bottom of the screen and Andi reads them out, 'a hottie with a heart, I'll be his dame!' She reads, 'Why is, oh God… why is this monster free? Everyone wants a do-over, doesn't mean we get one. Shit, some of these are harsh. Ooh, look, thank God, something nice the Barnes Bun is unbelievable, hope he gets a second chance!' Andi shrugs to herself, the reception is mixed, but as expected. Pulling the cushion away from her sister Andi looks serious, 'it's done, you can come out. You did good, you really helped to show him for the person he is, some people won't get it, but seriously, it's good. Thank you.' Amelia is genuinely surprised by her sincerity, dropping her head onto her sister's shoulder, 'you're welcome.' Amelia jumps up, 'I got to get to work, so do you actually!' She offers her sister a hand and tugs the reluctant blonde from the couch, 'noooo! Don't make me!'
Steve is sat in the back of a jet, watching the interview on a phone. He smiles at the sight of Bucky, he can see the warm, honest side of him shining through. He speaks candidly about his past and he calmly talks with Amelia. Steve sighs when the camera flips to her asking questions. Her confidence has grown from when it was him sat opposite. She looks Bucky in the eye, she has clearly coached him through this and looked after him, they run like a well-oiled machine. Steve admires and envies their closeness, they share knowing nods and smirks that only he would pick up on. He exhales loudly, knowing that he should have been there, for both of them, but mainly for Bucky.
He hasn't spoken to her for a week and watching this makes his heart clench. Her hair is straightened and he thinks she looks beautiful, eyes lighting up every time Bucky mutters a joke.
Steve looks around the jet, glad to be alone for once, he wonders what is happening back home right now. He cusses himself, he's always been without ties and somehow without thinking about it, he now has somethings worth staying close to home for. Steve shakes himself back to reality.
At the end of the interview, the anchors take over in the studio, with one man gushing 'I think even I got lost in those blue eyes for a moment! What an interesting guy, I think we might be seeing more of him. Thanks to Amelia for that report.'
Steve clicks his phone off and puts it into his pocket. 'Was that your girl?' Natasha asks, 'or was it your boy?' She adds with a smirk. Steve huffs and looks at her, wondering where she appeared from, he nods 'Bucky did great, Amelia as well. I should have been there,' he says sombrely. 'Sorry, Cap, but this is the life, you know that and so do they.' Natasha watches him and then adds, 'my eyes on the ground tell me they are doing well. Bucky is having regular slumber parties, so no worries.' Natasha walks away and Steve stands to follow her, trying to push thoughts of home to one side.
Bucky toys with his fingers anxiously, his eyes darting around quickly. A door opens and he keeps his eyes closed, tempted to stay like this. 'James, I'm ready when you are.' His eyes instinctively open at the polite feminine voice. He nods and swallows, shifting from his seat and following her into a horribly plain, inoffensive beige room.
'Take a seat,' the woman sincerely offers. Bucky sticks to his usual spot and she also gets comfortable opposite him. Bucky sits back, stroking his sticky palms down his jean clad thighs. He zeros in on his therapist, as she looks through his notes. She politely offers him a water, he hates going through the motions, knowing exactly what her first question will be, 'so, how have you been, James? Since I last saw you?' She smiles at him and he considers her question, 'ok, not too bad.' She is un-phased by his short answers and certainly familiar with it by now, 'how did you get on with the anchoring technique we worked on?' Bucky coughs and shuffles, he immediately winces, knowing he just gave away his lie, 'yeah, fine. I did it once, maybe twice?' She looks impressed, either at his false efforts or his good lie. She offers a supportive nod 'and how did that help?' She scribbles in her notepad and Bucky's back instantly straightens, he hates being tested or evaluated. 'It kept me going,' he shrugs, not sure how well anything works. 'How about the breathing exercises?' Bucky scoffs, she raises a brow at him, 'that sounded very dismissive.' Bucky closes his eyes and pictures the panic attack he had after the interview, he can hear Amelia chanting his name in his head, he can imagine her racing pulse beneath his finger and the red blood that seeped from her wrist is seared into his mind.
'Who?' Bucky looks up at the question in surprise, 'you said a name under your breath, just then, what was the name?' Bucky hesitates but mutters Amelia. The doctor asks, 'is she the new person in your life that you spoke of?' Bucky reacts quickly, 'no, well yes, but not that person.' Doctor Blithe asks casually, 'what does Amelia mean to you?' Bucky scratches his chin, he never knows if she means literally or figuratively, 'umm, she's uh, calm… she's still, warm?' He feels embarrassed the minute it's out of his mouth, but the doctor looks impressed, 'words you have used to describe Captain Rogers before now.' Bucky huffs and she grins, 'you grimaced when I mentioned his name?' Bucky looks shocked, he didn't realise he did anything with his face. 'He's away, working.'
'I see and how do you feel about that?' Bucky chuckles at the predictable question, 'it is what it is,' Bucky swallows hesitantly and proceeds, 'he will be back.'
Doctor Blithe sits back and looks at him, allowing him to fill the space with words or thoughts, but Bucky is only going to give what he's asked for. Looking at the clock on the wall, he can see they are only four minutes in. Bucky admires how, to her credit, she waits for him to speak first. Bucky panics and leans forward grabbing the glass of water and downing it, slamming the glass back down harder than intended. 'Steve will be back,' he laments, 'and Amelia is a friend.' The doctor smiles warmly, 'a new friend, that's good, before you have said…' she flicks back in her book and Bucky winces, knowing what's coming. 'I don't need any friends, do you feel differently now?' Bucky nods and grabs her glass of water, having never touched a drop during these Godforsaken sessions.
'You seem different this week,' the Doctor observes. Bucky doesn't know if that's a compliment or not, 'I'm still me.' She smiles at his choice of words and Bucky misses the irony, he continues, 'I guess the interview is done, that's a weight off my mind.' She agrees, 'yes that must be a relief to you. I noticed you were less reluctant to come inside this week.' Bucky groans and pushes a hand through his hair, 'I hate it when you watch me.' She jots some more notes down and looks at him frankly, 'that's my job, James.'
Bucky shrinks back, slouching like a teenager, 'I guess with Steve being gone, I have to get on with it.' Doctor Blithe frowns and asks, 'on with what?' Bucky looks frustrated, 'Life! This! All of it. I have to keep control,' he bites out the word control. 'Maybe Captain Rogers not being here forces your hand, you have to take responsibility, he's not here to protect you.' She reads her notes and looks back to him, 'he tries to protects me is a term you have used before. what do you think of that?' Bucky snaps at her, 'he doesn't hold me back!'
'I can see that, but we can become reliant on those around us, particularly those who are enthusiastic to support us. Sometimes that supporter can become an enabler and when that is removed the person truly has room to flourish.' Bucky looks sceptical, especially at the flower metaphor at the end. The doctor continues, 'space is as important as having people close.'
'What about your new female companion?' Bucky's demeanour changes, lightening and he pulls himself up straight in the chair. The doctor comments 'you changed again when I mentioned her…' Bucky cuts her off, 'Andi. That's her name.' Doctor Blithe nods, 'that's the first time you have said her name in this space, what does it symbolise for you?' Bucky wants to roll his eyes at her inane line of questioning, but deep down he knows it works.
He takes his time answering. 'New? A change? Unexpected?' Bucky smiles a little at the thought, 'are those questions?' Bucky shakes his head tersely, 'no, that's how I feel.' The doctor looks pleased 'those are feelings we can easily work with. She sounds like a breath of fresh air and a positive presence in your life.' Bucky agrees a little and stares out the window, he doesn't need anyone's validation.
'How have you got on with the sleeping pills?' Bucky grumbles and bangs his fist a little on the wooden arm of the chair, 'they don't work, I haven't taken them.' Challenging him, she proposes, 'you don't know they don't work until you try them.' Bucky shouts, 'I slept! At Thanksgiving, I slept, one night. There, happy?' Doctor Blithe looks interested 'was that here at the tower?' Bucky shakes his head, admitting 'no, at my… at Andi's couch, house! On her couch.'
'How did you feel when you woke up from that sleep, James?' Bucky remembers the morning fondly and instantly smiles, 'content.' Doctor Blithe bows her head, 'then I think we may have found your new anchor. That's a perfect memory to go back to when it gets tricky.' Bucky looks up quickly, sceptical of the approach, but deep down he knows it is a memory and a feeling worth holding on to.
Her voice interrupts his thoughts, 'James, do you have your journal with you? How have you done with that this week?'
Bucky considers pretending he forgot it, hating this part and wanting to curl up and die when she mentions his weekly dream journal. 'Yeah, I have it here.'
Week 2: Monday
Amelia throws down the TV controller and gives up channel surfing. Turning to her sister, 'I umm have something we need to talk about. Right, listen, I've been thinking that we could do with a bigger place, please don't freak out, you have a better job now, we both have people, partners, whatever they are and we need more space,' Amelia rambles nervously. Andi is scraping the bottom of a takeaway dish and she nods flippantly, 'I agree.' Amelia looks surprised and pauses eating her own noodles.
'I know, I'm shocked too, but you're right, we are tight on space and I can hear you and Steve going at it, so that's reason enough.' Amelia drops her chop sticks into her container and looks at her sister, 'tell me you're kidding, you can't, can you?' Andi laughs, 'only some light moaning and knocking around.' Amelia stares at her sister, trying to ignore what she just divulged.
Amelia settles back down and admits, 'I've actually found somewhere that I want to show you.' Andi swallows slowly, suddenly this feels real. 'Wow, ok, sure, right, this is happening now, like quick. Why the change of heart? A few months back you would have cried if I mentioned moving out?' Amelia sighs, 'recent events have taught me, that anything can happen and at any time, change is good. I need to embrace it. Also, the lease is up here and it seems smart, smart time and the smart thing.' Andi snorts, 'yeah, smart, that's why people do things!' Amelia rolls her eyes, 'fine, it's reckless and brave, happy?'
They eat in silence for a while, both contemplating moving out, Andi looks up and asks 'do you want to make a list? Like pros and cons?' Amelia smiles at her sister, 'I'll get some pens.'
Twenty minutes later the food is finished and Amelia's busy scribbling reasons to leave and stay. Amelia is delighted to be making a list, but frustrated by Rosie's poor pen selection. She shakes the pen dramatically, 'I tell her constantly to put the lids on.' Andi shouts, 'lick it! Get it going again.' Amelia ignores her and digs in the box for a different colour, she writes quickly, 'pro, you would be closer to work, and Rosie to daycare.'
Andi considers and adds, 'con, we love it here, Rosie was raised here.' This makes Amelia stop and think about canning the idea in. Andi shouts, 'pro, more room for wild, superhero sex or just general sex, if it didn't work out...' Amelia looks up at the last part, maybe she is pinning too much on these new developments in their lives.
Andi interrupts Amelia's worried thoughts, 'you know I'm kidding, right? About hearing you? Not the having wild sex part, I intend to repeatedly make good on that bit.' Amelia blushes and pushes her hair away from her face. Andi looks at her and asks, 'is this really what you want? It's not a knee jerk reaction to the boy being out of town?' Amelia shakes her head, 'nope.' Her lip wobbles a little, Andi tilts her head sympathetically, 'he'll be back soon, Mia.' Amelia nods quickly, exhaling and trying to blow her tears away. 'I know, I know, it's nothing, he's not a soldier, military people do way longer, men and women carrying on at home, I am just being pathetic. I mean I guess he is a soldier, but I'm not his wife. It was just a shock, he was here and then not and I can't even speak to him, you know?' Andi nods, jesting 'I'm sure Bucky will cuddle up with you, on those long winter nights.' Amelia smiles weakly at the joke, but it's not the super soldier she wants. Amelia draws on her hand idly and Andi watches her, 'hey? You know missing him doesn't make you any less of a feminist warrior.' Amelia laughs, 'I know, but I don't like to think of myself becoming dependant.' Andi brushes her off, 'like hell you are dependant. You just miss someone you love, and that's ok.' Amelia looks concerned, Andi offers 'is there something else you wanted to chat about?' Amelia shakes her head quickly, 'nope.' Andi grins, 'Oh, another pro! No skanky elevator to ride everyday!' Amelia writes it on the list with a smile, she then has a thought, 'hey, are you on probation at Stark's?' Andi shrugs, 'no, I don't think so, I hope not!'
Week 2: Wednesday
'Excuse me?' Amelia looks up from her book on the way home from work. She's squeezed between two people on the subway. 'Are you Captain America's girlfriend?' Slowly people look up from their books, peer over their bags and openly stare at her. Amelia shuffles and knocks elbows with those next to her, muttering sorry. She looks forward again, coming face to face with an excited young man before her. Amelia tucks her hair behind her ears and swallows deeply. Suddenly she feels like she can't remember how to breathe. 'Ummm, I am dating him, uh, Captain Rogers?' The man looks at her, 'you mean Captain America?' She looks around and nods slowly. The man launches into unending questions, Amelia wants to shrink. The entire cart is listening into their conversation, whispers of who? Really? Her? Amelia swallows awkwardly, muttering 'should have lied.' When the train pulls to a stop, Amelia shoots up and ducks for the exit, 'I'm sorry, this is me.' She steps off quickly, whacking countless people with her bags as she goes.
She exhales once she steps onto the platform, looking around, she mumbles, 'this is really not my stop.' She turns back to the departing train and sags waiting for the next one. She pulls out her phone and calls Andi, 'hey, it's me, I'm going to be late to the viewing, go on without me, I just need to figure out where the hell I am!' She hangs up with a loud growl, people looking at her as they squeeze past at the station.
Week 3: Monday
'I need to talk to you,' Amelia rattles out as she sits down at the table next to her sister. Andi's slurping her cereal, barely awake and Amelia is being very loud for so early in the morning, 'I've missed a period. And what, what if I'm pregnant? Oh God, saying it out loud is even worse. Can't be, it's probably nothing, right? But the longer it goes on, the more sick I feel and I can't tell if that's me or… something else.'
Andi stares at her, wide eyed and open mouthed. After a while, she asks 'whose is it?' Amelia sighs and swipes her sister with the back of her hand. 'Who's do you think it would be? Dumbass!' Andi rubs her arm, groaning and then slowly resumes eating breakfast, eyeing Amelia, 'explain' she demands. Amelia sighs and takes a deep breath, clasping her hands in a prayer like position on the table. 'I'm late.' Andi looks at her, 'I got that bit, but how late?' Amelia looks down at her chipped nail varnish and then bites her thumb nail, mumbling 'two weeks.' Andi almost chokes, 'shit. You're in trouble, what are you going to do?' Amelia starts to well up, 'I don't know, Andi, what do I do? I am hoping it's just stress, work is crazy, Steve upping and leaving, us moving out! I mean… let's just be hypothetical, of course I'd have it, but should I? We've only been together, what, five or six months? It's way too soon and I always said I wanted to do it right this time.' Andi looks at her sister's sad face and reaches across the breakfast bar, 'there is no right way, Mia.' Amelia sniffs and as Andi pulls back, she takes control 'first things first, we need a test. I'll pick one up after work.' Amelia nods, she looks white and terrified. Andi grabs her hand again and reassures her, 'whatever it is, we will make it work and besides, imagine his kids running around this place. CUTE, with a capital C.' Amelia nods, letting out a shakey breath.
Andi starts to clean up following breakfast as Amelia looks over at Rosie, who is humming happily to herself, watching the TV. 'You're fine, could just be a fluke, don't get worked up until we know, besides, he might be gone for a real long time, you could have one and we can hide it, problem sorted!' Amelia looks even more concerned and Andi adds, 'you've never been Miss regular.' Amelia reacts quickly, 'Andi! Shhhhhh!' Andi rolls her eyes, 'don't be ridiculous, no one is here.' She loudly teases, 'watch out folks this woman doesn't have periods! She's a super human!'
In the evening the front door opens, 'right, well, I got two different ones. I also got this magazine, Bucky is in it! In an article called Top Rumps, I didn't think they did this kind of thing anymore, but then it was only two dollars at the drug store' Andi announces walking into the lounge after work. She stops short, 'ah, but I see we don't need this anymore' she says as she looks up at her sister, who is lying on the couch with a hot water bottle and a blanket. Amelia groans and throws a thumb in the air, announcing, 'no baby!' Andi smiles a little, but she's also a bit gutted, she likes being Auntie Andi.
'You could have let me know, these things were expensive.' Amelia mumbles that she did and when Andi checks her phone there's messages with GIFs of Carrie White and men in red morph suits. Andi laughs and squeezes on the sofa next to Amelia, sitting on her legs. Amelia shifts around in discomfort and kicks Andi lightly. 'So, no little Caps then?' Amelia shakes her head and curls up. 'Better be careful next time, Missy! Remember, no glove, no love.' Amelia sits up quickly, wincing in pain, 'thank you, but I don't need advice from you, we are very sensible!' Andi laughs, 'I just thought he might be confused by what a condom is?' Andi gets a cushion to the head and chuckles to herself. 'I feel like I am going to birth a kidney,' Amelia spews out, Andi looks appalled, 'ugh please don't, no one wants to raise that. You remember Bucky is coming for dinner?' Andi asks brightly. Amelia lies back down with a drawn-out groan.
Week 3: Wednesday
'Amelia?' She looks up from her seat on the cold metal bench, spotting Bucky, stood before her. 'Hey, Bucky. You ok? I'm just waiting on Andi, she wants to have lunch out here, take some photos, I think,' Amelia looks around unsure, 'of some trees, I guess?' she says with uncertainty. Amelia's nose is pink and she looks like she's been there a while. Bucky sits beside her, 'I'm so cold, I don't know why I agreed to this.' Amelia is rubbing her hands on her lap and blowing on her palms. Bucky hesitates but then reaches over and grabs both of her hands between his. 'How are you so warm?' She asks in amazement, silently dazzled that he's touching her. 'High metabolism,' he simply says. Amelia giggles, 'but you have a metal arm, that makes no sense.' After a while he drops her hands and they sit in silence.
'Have you heard from Steve?' She asks as casually as possible. Bucky shakes his head.
Amelia sighs and then asks Bucky 'what did you think of the interview?' He laughs a little, 'didn't watch it, but people keep high fiving me and asking for photos, so couldn't have been that bad.' Amelia considers this, looking around she can see people are walking by and looking over, clocking his hand and whispering. 'Well, I hardly watched it either, can't bear to see myself, but you looked fabulous, you should be pleased. Everyone at my office has a Barnes Bun now.'
Bucky looks at the ground, 'thank you, for what you did.' Amelia grins, 'no problem, but I mean it, that was really my last interview, no more, not even for you.' Bucky cuts through her jesting, 'no, I meant what you did afterwards.' Amelia swallows anxiously, 'I didn't do anything and neither did you, before you go beating yourself up.' She gives him a stern look, reminiscent of one she would give Rosie and he scoffs, moving on and knowing better than to challenge her.
Bucky asks about Rosie and they discuss the nursery a little, 'oh, and we are moving. Did Andi say?' Bucky knew this already. 'We think we have somewhere, just signing everything off. You should come and see the new place, so much room, two parking spaces, a terrace-balcony thing! You could park that nice jet there.' Bucky laughs, thinking back to that day in the quinjet. 'I've been looking for a while and this place just felt right, honestly, I thought Andi would say no, but she's been really open to it, I think you might be having a positive impact on her.' Bucky looks unsure, 'we never did discuss that, I guess your Thanksgiving surprise went well?' Amelia blushes and then in a stroke of confidence, says 'well, I stayed the night, didn't I?' Bucky almost chokes and looks at her surprised.
She sighs, looking around, watching Stark employees dart off for lunch, 'ok, confession time, I did look at a few places in Brooklyn, but no luck, crazy money, and I dunno, it was just an idea. Steve always talks so fondly about it.' Bucky pauses, watching her twist her fingers and smiles at the sentiment. Amelia's phone buzzes and she scrambles to get it out as quickly as possible, Bucky looks at her knowingly and anticipating her disappointment. 'It's just Andi, and... she's not coming! So, I'm freezing for no reason!' Standing up, Amelia pulls her bag higher up her arm. 'I'm serious, come and see the new place and we might need some muscle to help us pack, we need to be out by the first of January.' Bucky smiles, watching her leave. He checks his phone and sighs, nothing from Steve.
Week 3: Friday
'This is amazing, listen to this. Amelia Milton, formerly suspected girlfriend of full-time Avenger, Steve Rogers, pictured here with his best friend and colleague, Bucky Barnes. So not only are you and Steve no longer dating, it was only ever suspected! And who the hell is Milton!?'
Amelia groans, rolling over and pulling a pillow over her head. Andi gets further comfortable on her sister's bed and shakes her roughly, 'listen, listen! This is my favourite part. One thing is clear, this Winter Soldier ain't giving her the cold shoulder.' Andi laughs uncontrollably and falls back onto Amelia's covered form, she moans and pushes her sister away. When Amelia appears from under the covers, she grabs the magazine.
She scans the article, 'romantic picnics? It was a chat on a bench?' She groans and slips down in the bed, 'what will Steve think?' Andi jumps up, singing, 'Steve's not here.' Amelia looks down sadly and throws the magazine at Andi's feet, she hears a tearing sound and Andi rips the article out. 'I'm going to put this of the fridge!' She announces, 'why are you holding hands in this one?' Amelia mumbles from the bed, 'I was cold and you stood me up!' Andi continues to read the two-page spread. 'Barnes has become quite the icon, since his interview with Manhattan Matters, with Amazon even releasing a James Barnes inspired costume.' Andi looks up wide eyed, 'do you think he will freak out when Halloween comes around again?' Amelia lies in bed staring at the ceiling, she can hear her sister laughing in the next room and she closes her eyes thinking about Steve. She wonders where he is, if he's safe, if he's forgotten about her. When she really can't sleep late at night, she allows her mind to wonder to Steve meeting someone else, Steve and Natasha getting cosy on a jet and Amelia berates herself for her taunting imagination. She rolls on to her side and looks at the clock, groaning.
In the evening, Andi is lying in bed with Bucky, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. 'Do you have a crush on my sister?' she asks suddenly. He looks back and pulls a face at her, 'the magazine, I don't believe it, but thought I should check. Just in case you know, you and me was all a ploy, so you could get closer to her. Man, that would be cold.' Bucky smiles and pulls her in closer, 'yeah, that's why I am here with you, naked.' Andi giggles and looks under the covers, 'actually you are wearing underwear, what kind of girl do you take me for, Barnes?' She wraps an arm around his waist, 'are you missing your boyfriend?' Bucky has given up correcting her, his eyes drift to her commando t-shirt hanging on the door. 'A little, but he'll be back this time.' Andi squeezes him and then lifts her head, shaking it from side to side, 'what do you think of my Barnes Bun?' Her hair is in a semi bun, falling loose and flying around her face. 'I'd give you an C for effort, Andrea!' he offers her. 'Hey, careful, or I will chop those pretty locks off.' He looks at the ceiling, 'you can, if you want?' She sits up, looking concerned, 'really? No, I don't think I could, I like it too much!' Bucky lies back and puts an arm behind his head, the metal plates tugging at his hair, 'Natalie thinks I need a haircut.'
Natasha walks over to Steve, 'looking a little hairy there, Cap? Think Miss Miller will appreciate it? Or are you just trying to keep up with your rugged friend?' Steve looks at her with confusion and Natasha nods at his pocket, which suddenly lights up and vibrates. Steve ignores her and reaches for his phone. As he opens it, pictures of Bucky and Amelia appear, laughing on a park bench, holding hands in one and Amelia smiling fondly at him in another. Steve's eyes widen a little and he swallows, looking at the close pair. Steve squashes his initial thoughts, that Bucky and Amelia are a couple, he knows neither of them would do that to him. He imagines Amelia would be embarrassed by the spread and Bucky will be unaware. 'Looks like she is doing well and so is he,' Natasha offers. Steve doesn't respond, staring at the pictures, zooming in on the screen, Bucky looks relaxed and Amelia looks at him with her head gently tilted and a small smile. He recognises the bench and trees from the tower and he shuts his phone off, trying to shake the happy faces of the two people he loves most.
Week 4: Tuesday
'Promise that you will hold on, no strange acrobatics on the back,' Bucky warns. Andi tries to stifle a laugh at his stern face, 'yes, sir. You got it, I'm completely focused. Now, can we get going, please?' Bucky passes Andi a helmet and watches until she has strapped it on. She waves her hands, proving it's done and he relents, sitting on the bike and sliding forward to allow her room behind him. Andi leans on his shoulders and throws a leg over, climbing on, 'is that warm, Barnes?' She whispers suggestively in his ear. Bucky closes his eyes and mutters, 'you can't distract me when I am driving.' Andi laughs at his serious attitude and then he instructs her to grab hold, she wraps both arms around his waist and places her head against his back, squinting, calling dramatically 'I'm ready, let's go, quick.' Bucky shakes his head and looks down at her linked hands. He kick-starts the engine and it echoes through the garage. Andi laughs at the vibration through her body, the growl of the motor and the handsome man between her thighs. He pulls out of the lot and she slowly lifts her head away, watching the skyline blur past. The wind rushes through her hair and she wonders what Amelia didn't like about this. Andi resists throwing her arms over her head, thinking her thighs are in no way strong enough to hold her. The sun is shining, but it's cold and she is glad she listened to Bucky's long-pant advice. Andi watches Bucky's hair float in the breeze and she snuggles into him, closing her eyes and enjoying the ride.
They eventually pull up at the flat and Bucky stops the engine, they are both still and he thinks he's scared her. 'I want one,' she whispers. He laughs, 'uh, no, your dad will kill me.' She smiles against his back, 'you're not afraid of a retired math teacher are you, honey?'
They stay like this for a little longer and then a neighbour appears, Andi says hi and Bucky decides that is their cue to move.
When they let themselves in to the flat, Amelia is sat on the couch, reading a magazine and with the TV on in the background. 'Hey, how was it?' She asks, looking up. Andi swans in and heads for the kitchen, Bucky sits down beside Amelia.
'Amazing, very Grease 2, I loved it, I want one,' she calls as she pours a drink. Bucky looks at Amelia, 'there's a second one? Really?' Amelia nods happily and Andi comes back in, sitting beside Bucky and forcing him between them, 'just don't go there, Barnes, it's a very contentious point.' He eyes her, but she looks very serious.
'What you reading?' She asks, pressing her chest against Bucky and leaning into her sister. Their couch isn't really big enough for all of them, and Amelia sighs, lowering her magazine. 'Interesting choice, are you fifteen?' Andi jokes, looking at the article titles. Amelia sighs, 'no, but look at this.' She flicks back and shows them an article about Steve, entitled, 'Eight things you never knew about Steve Rogers.' Bucky tilts his head and says 'well, that one isn't true to begin with.' Both women look at him and he coughs, shuffling, 'carry on.' Andi smiles, 'read on, Mia, I'm desperate to know.'
Amelia folds the magazine, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest at the picture of Steve in the middle of the page. 'Number one, Steve was born in Brooklyn, he lived with his mother, Sarah and near to his best friend, James 'Bucky' Barnes.' Andi is nodding, pouting in feigned interest, 'sounds plausible.' Amelia continues, 'number two, Captain Rogers punched Hitler during his 1942 tour.' The girls look at Bucky and he shrugs, 'not the real one, I don't think so anyway.' Andi giggles and strokes Bucky's hair patronisingly. 'Number three, Captain Rogers' first kiss was with a show girl on that very same tour.' Amelia smiles smugly and looks at Bucky, who is staring at the ground. Andi grabs the magazine and says, 'well, that seems true, one of them probably took advantage of him, poor guy. Right, number four, well this is true, Captain Rogers spent nearly seventy years frozen. Number five, he lives with his hero buddies, buddies, really? At Avenger Tower, including hunky Hawkeye and cutie-pie Bruce Banner.' Andi laughs at the irony and Amelia reaches for her magazine back.
Amelia reads, 'number six, in a recent interview, Rogers confirmed he prefers brunettes.' Andi whistles loudly, 'well, we all know how that ended, maybe it was a line!' Amelia blushes and her eyes widen at the penultimate one. 'Number seven, he's rumoured to be dating a TV producer, giving us everyday girls hope.' Andi laughs loudly and Bucky looks sympathetically at Amelia. 'Great, so I'm the average Joe, that proves God-like men date real people? I don't know If I'm honoured or offended.' Andi sobers and Bucky asks, 'what is the last one?' Amelia sighs and tries to find her place again, 'umm, oh. Most recently Captain Rogers has been spotted spending more time with, dare we say it, new best friend, Tony Stark.' Bucky chuckles, he still can't believe how ludicrous this is, little Stevie Rogers pinned to girls' bedroom walls and even more insane that Stark could ever be his best friend. Amelia closes the magazine and chucks it on the coffee table, she looks over at the front cover and the reason she paid seven dollars for it, Steve's smiling face. 'Come on, let's get some food,' Andi announces.
At dinner, Rosie sits next to Bucky, 'then we put paint on our hands, and I made that,' she points across to the fridge and Bucky looks over at the artwork. 'That's very good,' he comments and Andi smiles, watching them, as she tosses a salad. Amelia walks past and kisses the top of Rosie's head, she giggles, batting her away, 'no, wet, mommy!' She sits at the table, with the three, reaching over and clipping a piece of hair out of Rosie's face. The little girl looks over and gently tugs on a strand of Bucky's hair, whispering, 'when will Stevie be here?' Bucky just shrugs and asks her if she's hungry. When he looks over, Amelia is staring at her half filled glass of wine, she looks miserable and Bucky feels guilty. Amelia's phone rings in her pocket and she quickly digs it out, staring at an unrecognised number. Bucky watches her from the corner of his eye as Rosie describes her doll's house to him. Amelia answers in a hurry, 'hello?' She squints as there's no response, 'hello?' Andi walks across and places dinner on the table, 'cold call, hang up! Hang up! No, you haven't been in a car crash recently.' Amelia slowly gives in and hangs up, resuming dinner with the others. Her mind continuously flitting back to the call, questioning, what if it was Steve?
'She's struggling, hey?' Bucky asks as he watches Andi climb into bed later that night, 'yeah, she's pretty down about it, she was crying at a film and she was almost uncontrollable, the film was John Wick 2, I mean it is hardly Titanic. I feel for her, he was here 24/7 and now he's off the grid. Selfishly, I am grateful for the break, they are all over each other.' Bucky remains stood and folds his arms, looking down at the bed absently. Andi pulls back the covers invitingly, 'you getting in? Or are you going to pose up a storm all night?' Bucky hears a noise and looks over his shoulder, 'it's Mia, in the bathroom, chill out, no bad guys here.' Bucky nods and Andi wraps herself up, getting comfy, 'well, if you aren't getting in, can you grab me a water?' He's stood shirtless, as he begins to untie his joggers, he pauses and relents. Her angelic eyes flutter at him and sighs, 'it's not like you sleep! Apart from the one time I needed you not to,' she argues. He rolls his eyes, grabbing an empty glass off the nightstand and heading for the kitchen.
As he steps into the lounge, he finds it in darkness, a glimmer of light from beneath the bathroom door. He listens for movement and turns to get that drink. He pauses at the sound of a moan and looks around again, his eyes find the light under the door once again and he stares at it. The sound again capturing his attention, as another moan fills the air and Bucky has no doubt that it is anything but a sound of pain. His eyes widen and he blushes, hurrying for the kitchen. Almost walking into the sofa. He thinks of poor Steve and the numerous times he inflicted a similar experience on his friend, him with a girl in the next room.
As he stands at the sink, he tries to think of anything but what he just heard, filling the glass, dinking and refilling it. As he rounds the corner heading for the bedroom, he bumps into Amelia, leaving the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.
'Oh, hey, you're up late, she got you grabbing a drink? Rosie has started doing the same thing.' Her hair is loose over her shoulders, beads of water dripping down her neck and chest, disappearing under the white towel. Bucky tries to advert his eyes, ignoring the question.
'You're bleeding,' he points to her leg and Amelia looks down, 'yeah, just nipped it with the razor, nearly dropped my book in there as well, this is what comes from trying to relax when you should be sleeping. It's just my twenty minutes of peace, you know?' Bucky looks to her flushed cheeks and mumbles in agreement, 'sure...'
'Are you ok?' She asks with concern and Bucky realises she has no idea what he thinks he heard, 'yeah, fine, good, yeah, I'm great, right, ok. Right, see you in the morning. Bye!' He turns quickly, the water in his glass sloshing, he can hear Amelia padding towards her door and once inside the safety of Andi's room he lets out a nervous breath, Andi looks at him in confusion, 'you ok? I thought you weren't coming back!'
Week 4: Friday
Amelia is stood drying plates, staring out the window dreamily, when a strong voice interrupts her thoughts. 'Mommy!' Amelia turns around and Rosie is stood with her hands on her hips and her mother looks surprised to see her, 'oh, hello, yes, what can I do for you?' She dries her hands with a towel and leans back against the sink, Rosie looks very serious and way beyond her years. 'I want to have food with Stevie.' Amelia nods slowly, 'ok, like invite him for dinner? Is that what you mean?' Rosie nods vigorously, 'can you get him?' Amelia chokes a little, 'he's working, remember? We discussed how busy he is at the moment?'
Rosie thinks about it deeply, scrunching her face 'when will he be back? Later?' Amelia smiles, 'I'm not really sure yet, but soon. Mommy doesn't work lots and lots, I'm home quite a bit of the time,' Amelia sighs, 'but it's not always like that for Steve, he has a very important job to do.'
Rosie wipes her nose, looking confused, 'where's Bucky?' Amelia lightens, 'he's around, we can ask him, if you want?' Rosie thinks some more, 'what about Uncle Tony?' Amelia looks shocked, 'uh, Tony, is around, but he's very busy. And its just Tony, sweet, not Uncle.' Rosie looks even more unsure, 'Tasha?'
Amelia softens, feeling like the bearer of bad news 'she's with Steve, little girl. I'm sorry.' Rosie thinks on her mother's words, Amelia hopes she's run out of people to ask about, 'just Uncle Bucky then.' Amelia agrees, 'we will give him a call in a bit,' Rosie steps closer and passes her mother her phone, when Amelia asks where she got it from, Rosie grins mischievously, 'your bedroom.'
At the Tower, Bucky swings into an office, spotting Sam eating a salad at a desk, Bucky's voice is harsh and gruff, 'anything from the team?' Sam takes his time chewing, swallowing slowly, 'hello Sam, how are you Sam? You know, you could be a bit more polite, I helped search for you! Gave up months of my life!' Bucky just stares at him, uncaring, 'right, whatever, so, Steve, anything from Steve?' Sam, shakes his head before shoving another forkful of food into his mouth, 'nah, not yet. Why so anxious?' Bucky pulls a face as Sam's lunch can be seen swirling around his mouth as he chats. He looks about the office, Sam's array of snacks lined up in front of him, 'hey! Eyes off my Twinkie!' Bucky snorts at the notion, 'if Steve calls in, you call me, got it?' Sam doesn't react and Bucky repeats 'got it?' Sam nods, relenting 'yes, yes, I got it.' Bucky is almost out the door, he mutters 'good.'
'Hey, you ready?' A female voice calls from the hall, Sam hurries to stand and peer out, Bucky quickly blocking his view and snatching at the office blind. 'Who is that?' Sam asks excitedly, 'none of your business,' Bucky states firmly, calling to Andi in the hallway, 'yeah, meet you there.'
Sam laughs at his colleague, 'I heard a rumour you had a girlfriend, but I didn't believe it.' Bucky looks mortified and stares at the ground, swallowing slowly and staring back at Sam, 'right, well, thanks for nothing, Wilson. See you around.' Sam chuckles, retaking his seat, 'hope you are taking her somewhere nice for lunch!' Once Bucky has left the office, Sam leans back laughing to himself, putting his feet on the desk and suddenly noticing his missing lunch items, calling after him 'damn it! Barnes!'
Bucky sits down opposite Andi, she's chomping on a sandwich and he throws a snack at her, 'for you!' Andi smiles down at the caught item, 'aww, thanks. Good day?' Bucky nods and digs out an apple from his pocket, 'you need to eat more than that,' she points at him. He ignores her and looks around, enjoying the peace and quiet.
'Think you might ever brave the canteen for real?' Andi enquires, peering around the grey basement. Bucky feels bad as he looks at her sitting on the floor against a concrete wall. 'It's fine, I get it, yuk, people, am I right?' Bucky smirks at her, straightening his leg and gently knocking her foot. They smile at each other, until they are interrupted by the ringing of a phone, 'I think that's coming from you, Romeo,' Andi offers when he doesn't move. 'Who the hell would ring me?' Andi shrugs and Bucky digs his phone out, it's Amelia's number and he wonders what she wants, 'hello?'
'Buckyyyyyyyy!' A voice calls and he knows immediately it's not Amelia, 'Rosalyn, are you ok? Where are you, where's your mother?' He leans forward, panicked and Andi stops chewing, looking concerned. 'I'd like you for dinner,' she announces proudly, Bucky looks confused, but then he can hear Amelia in the background, 'like him to come for dinner, come for dinner.' Rosie giggles, repeating 'come for dinner!' Bucky relaxes back against the wall and smiles into the handset, 'sure ok, thanks, Rosalyn, when would you like me to stop by?' Andi keeps trying to interrupt, 'is she ok? Where's Mia?' Bucky pulls the phone away from his ear, 'would you shut up, she's fine!'
Rosie shouts, 'ummm, now! No, tonight!' Bucky laughs a little and promises he will be there, hanging up. He says nothing and Andi watches him resume his lunch, 'well?' Bucky wipes his mouth, torturing her further, 'oh, Rosalyn just invited me for dinner.' Andi looks perplexed, 'right… odd, well I'll see you there I guess.' Bucky shakes his head, 'oh no, you're not invited, she said specifically not to bring you.' Andi sticks her tongue out and throws a bag of chips at him, 'whatever, can't stop me, I live there!'
Week 5: Wednesday
'Ah, Miss Miller, you come to smell some shirts or roll around in his sheets? Parting is such sweet sorrow, or so I'm told.' Tony folds his arms, waiting for her response. Amelia rolls her eyes his way, trying to hide the slight blush colouring her cheeks. 'Umm, hi, by the way, and no, I've come to get Rosie and Andi, I had a message to meet her up here.' Tony nods, 'I hear she's doing an adequate job, in whatever department we put her in. Seriously, how are you coping without Captain Amazing?' Amelia bites her lip and looks away, clutching her handbag closer, 'fine, thank you for the concern.' Tony peers over his glasses, 'well either you are missing him more than you'd like to admit or you've moved on, either way I am worried.' Amelia grins, 'maybe I just don't want to admit it to you.' Tony shakes his head, 'now, why would you say that?' There's a silence and then Tony lights up with an idea, 'hey, you got five minutes? Maybe I can convince you I'm one of the good guys.'
Amelia smiles at him, nodding, 'I've got ten minutes.' Tony raises his brows suggestively, 'I only need five.' Amelia laughs and follows after him.
She keeps close to him as they head for a lift and they travel down lower in the tower than she's been before. The doors open onto a large room, lined with seats and computers. She realises it's a call centre, a communication department. There must be a hundred colleagues, working, checking maps, talking to other operatives through headsets. Tony waves at a brunette and she turns away with a straight face, ignoring him. Amelia recognises her as Maria Hill, from the night she visited Steve and she keeps her head down, hoping she won't remember her. Other colleagues gawp with open mouths at the sight of Tony Stark. He waves pompously at everyone and Amelia feels embarrassed beside him.
Tony leads her through to a small office, it's dark and everything is grey. 'Are you going to kill me?' Amelia jokes, Tony just looks at her dryly, 'yes and first I am going to call your boyfriend so he can listen in.' Amelia looks up quickly, dropping her bag by her feet, 'you can call Steve? We can talk to Steve? Here? Now?' Tony puts his hands out, 'woah, kitten, slow down, I make no promises, he might be having a snooze or watching a movie marathon, it's a tough job and all.'
Tony stares at the computer dash before him, reaching out and pausing, finally deciding he doesn't know what he's doing, 'FRIDAY, get Hill to send a minion in.' The AI confirms and Tony grins smugly at Amelia, 'Why do something yourself that someone else can do?'
After a few minutes, there's a gentle tap on the door and a young man enters, he nervously looks between the pair, 'you need assistance, sir? Tony nods, 'all yours, Matthew.' The guy takes a seat, 'it's Michael, actually.' Amelia cringes, looking at the ground, then she looks back to Tony, 'look, if this is difficult?' Tony shakes his head and Michael stands up, 'Umm, it's all done for you, sir, you just need to input the co-ordinates and click there, can I help with anything else?'
Tony claps his hands together, 'thank you, Ma...Michael.' The young employee scurries out as quickly as he arrived. Once they are alone, Tony steers Amelia to sit at the screen, 'you sit here, I press this, and just wait his pretty face should appear... there.' The screen in front of her lights up and a larger screen on the wall, a bright white light flashes and then nothing. Tony taps furiously, repeatedly hitting the same button, 'hmm, that should have worked.' Tony leans in over Amelia, pressing more buttons, 'check one two, check.' He jokes, 'Come in, come in, over, Roger.' He smirks at Amelia, 'get it? Roger? Rogers?' She slumps in the chair, 'Tony, you can stop, it's fine.'
'Tony?' Both halt, hearing the crackled voice of Steve Rogers. 'Steve?' Amelia whispers. The interference increases and the screen flashes signal lost. Tony waves his hand, 'that's your lot kid, you heard his voice, you know he's alive, I feel like this was a success.' Amelia is staring at the ground and when she looks up, she has tears in her eyes. She quickly wipes them away, 'I'm sorry,' she says quietly, 'I'm just being silly.' Tony reaches out a hand and taps her back, and then wipes it on his jeans.
'You know, it's good to see Rogers making a woman cry for once, rather than me.' Amelia smiles at him, 'thank you for this, for almost making it work.' Tony shrugs, 'I feel a little bad, for him that is, he's probably missing you terribly, you on the other hand, I've done you a huge favour. Grandpa Rogers following you around, sounds like a drag.'
Amelia laughs dryly, 'it's anything but a drag, he's funny, he's caring, he's sensitive.' Tony cuts in, 'he's boring, he's uptight, he's ancient.' Amelia waves him off, 'you're cruel. I don't think it would be that bad, if he was at a desk for three months, but he's in danger, I know he is, I know you all must be.'
Tony exhales, 'well that's a cheery thought, do you do parties as well?' Amelia tilts her head, 'sorry.'
'So, you and he are in love? Is that how you say it?' Amelia blushes, 'don't tease me! It's real!' Tony sits on the desk, arms folded, enjoying her blushing and stammering over words. 'I really miss him, in fact, you're the first person I've really been honest about that with, let alone cried in front of.' She wipes her face quickly, 'I don't know when I became this person.' Tony nods in agreement, 'me neither.' She looks at him with a tilt, Tony holds up his hands, 'I'm kidding. Well, it's Rogers, isn't it, those hypnotising blue eyes, the dazzling plaid shirts, his perfect comb-over, or so I'm told.' Amelia looks at him, sadly, 'I wonder why he chose me sometimes. I mean… do you know why?' He looks surprised by this question, 'umm, sure, you're a nice girl.' Amelia pinches her nose, 'that was rhetorical, please don't embarrass yourself, or me!'
Amelia lifts her bag up, 'I should go, pick up my kids,' she jokes. 'Hey, before you do, just tell me this.' Amelia looks at him seriously, 'is he a virgin?' Amelia laughs and debates how to answer, summoning all her courage, she teases, 'not anymore, he isn't.' Tony laughs, 'you naughty girl.' She heads for the door, and Tony jumps up after her, 'I'll show you out, you will get arrested if you're found wondering alone. Now, at least tell me he's awkward as hell and doesn't know what he's doing.'
Amelia shrugs, 'I can't do that, Tony, sorry to disappoint you.'
'At least tell me he's below a five, and you've had better?' Amelia giggles at his feeble attempts, 'no can do!'
On the jet, Steve smiles to himself. He heard the sound, alerting to a message from the communications centre and for a moment he saw Tony's name flash up. He could hear the arrogant billionaire and then he could hear her. Amelia's voice floating through the jet, as if she was really there. Steve tried to speak, but they couldn't hear him. He smiles listening to her defend him and shaking off Tony's teasing. He looks at his hands nervously and as she talks about missing him he knows the feeling goes both ways.
AN: Thanks for reading! Lots happening in this chapter, sort of like a series of one shots, moving some things along. It will be all change when Steve gets back. Also, I'm not a therapist, but I have had therapy I wanted to put in Bucky's POV, how he feels about Steve being away.
Amelia's obviously a worrier and there's a few things here that weigh on her. Andi is laid back as always and I love writing Tony! Again, the magazine stuff is really fun to write.
Let me know nay thoughts
Next chapter soon…
Take care xx
