A/N: I know I say thank you a lot, but it's only because I remain ever grateful for your reviews, your encouragement, and your kindness. Please enjoy!
Chapter 15
Her eyes were slightly swollen from crying. She spent three hours at Naruto's apartment, the two of them equally frustrated at the guards' refusal to let anyone see Sasuke in his cell. It was their fourth attempt on the cold February evening. They tried once a month since the war's end and remained persistent as the seasons shifted from cold to colder. Frost still lined windows, their breath still formed puffs of soft mist from their lips, and the air still forced them to bundle into their fleece-lined winter coats. She wondered if Sasuke was warm. She wondered if they gave him anything to stave off the chill of winter's last bite.
Only the Hokage, advisors, intelligence officers, or anyone else of those ranks could enter, leaving the rest of Team Seven in the dark. Even though Kakashi was beginning his transition into the Hokage's seat, he was forced to abide by the establishment's rules. It was a frustrating, helpless situation.
By the time she arrived home, the streets Konoha were lit by lampposts and the pathways held only a few others heading home from work as quickly as they could. Her ears were numbed from the cold just as her fingers were despite being stuffed deep into her pockets. Sakura trudged up to her house, struggled to order her digits to push the brass key into the lock, and stepped inside. She kicked off her boots at the front of the door and unbuttoned her coat.
"Tadaima," she announced dully, tossing her keys on a small wooden table. It clanged on the small plate that held other brass keys, all of it next to a small portrait of her family shielded by a glass case. In the picture she was young, and her fringe was newly parted by a red ribbon her then-new friend Ino had given her. Sakura's parents looked incredibly proud during the opening ceremony of the Academy. Their hands were placed on her shoulders, tall walls of protectors and nurturers. Although recently, it hadn't been the case.
Her mother, Mebuki, rounded the corner of the walkway, forcing Sakura back to the moment. Her arms were folded, her mouth was tight, and she stood before her daughter like a human wall of interrogation, not protection or nurturance. "Sakura," she said, her voice tense with what sounded like anger. "Where have you been."
"That was more of a demand than a question," the medic said bitterly, not in the mood to engage with her raging mother. She attempted to slide past her, but a vice-like grip wrapped around her upper arm.
"Where have you been," her mother said again. Her eyes were more severe.
"Naruto's."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying," Sakura insisted, shrugging herself out of her mother's grip and turning to face her.
"Where were you before then?"
"Work."
"I said don't lie." Mebuki paused and stared at her daughter's eyes, making the medic want to shrink away. "Did you try to see him again?"
Sakura stared at her mother, trying to keep her face as blank as possible. It was as though any response would give her truth away, submit her to an onslaught of accusations and daggered words.
"Sakura's home?" her father, Kizashi, rounded the same corner and halted upon seeing the tension already building. Sakura turned to him, hoping that her small movement would turn the attention away from herself and onto her father who, thankfully, acted as a buffer for family conflict.
It didn't work. Her mother ignored her husband. "Did you try to see him again?" she asked again. Kizashi looked to Sakura, his eyes filled with worry. She was not sure, however, who he was worried for in the exchange.
"I was at work," Sakura said again, her voice firm.
"Don't lie to me!" Mebuki stomped her foot. "Our neighbor saw you go into the detainment center again earlier today."
Snitch.
Sakura maintained her straight face, but her heart raced in her chest and her hands grew clammy. There was no escaping it. Yes, she tried again. Of course she tried again. How could she not?
"I knew it," Mebuki scoffed, holding her hands on her hips. "You know what that looks like for you, what it looks like for our family. You're a bright girl, Sakura, but you keep making stupid mistakes because of some fleeting childhood infatuation—"
"It's not some fleeting childhood infatuation," Sakura snapped back.
"Oh, Sakura, it's one thing to lie to me, but it's another to lie to yourself," Mebuki scoffed. "Why can't you want someone who actually wants you?"
Ouch. "I was trying to gather information. Sasuke-kun is my teammate and my friend." Despite whatever else I want.
"Was your teammate! Was your friend! Past tense! If you say he is currently any of those things, then what kind of a friend tries to murder another?!" Mebuki shrieked. "You may have been friends when you were children, but that Uchiha is a man, now, and he is nowhere near a comrade!"
"How would you know? You weren't on my squad, you weren't on my missions, and you weren't in the war! You know nothing of Sasuke-kun, and nothing of what happened between us and our team." Sakura turned away from her mother only to feel a sharp tug on her coat sleeve to spin her back around to face the matriarch.
"I know enough to understand he is a blood stain on this village," Mebuki continued, "a blood stain that tried to stain you, too. He tried to take you from this world with plans to take the rest of us out soon after! Can't you see that?" Mebuki nearly threw her hands up in frustration. "You keep trying to see someone who will do nothing but destroy you and our village. Those Uchiha haven't changed for decades. Now, all of that clan's hatred is concentrated in that one shinobi you so foolishly try to redeem in your head."
"A blood stain?" Sakura echoed incredulously. "The only true blood stains are the ignorant, foolish villagers! Those who stayed indoors during the battles, during the war, and only have their opinions! Villagers like you who know nothing of what happens on the field and only run your mouths like you own more than the dirt under your fingernails!"
"Sakura!" Kizashi gasped.
The medic turned to her father and felt a pang of guilt ring about her chest. The damage was done. And it was too late to rewind and apologize to either of them.
Her mother's eyes narrowed. "I have done nothing but try to be a responsible mother to you, teach you, and protect you. I supported your life in the shinobi world and walked proudly with you during your journey as a medic."
"Mebuki, that's enough," Kizashi said, his voice stern, but his wife ignored him.
"This is the last time," Mebuki said, her voice raising even more and raising a finger at Sakura in warning. "I don't care what your title is, I don't care how many medals of honor you have! In this house, you are my daughter, the daughter of villagers, and you are to obey what we tell you! Your stupid attempts with that Uchiha will never be supported by us! If you try to see that menace again, you don't need to come back here! This will no longer be your home!"
"The kind of home you make is controlling and toxic, anyway! I feel sorry for Dad!"
Slap!
Her pink hair blocked her vision. Sakura blinked for a moment before the burning pain on her cheek flared in the wake of her mother's hand. It stung. It stung, it stung, it stung, but it was bearable on her skin. The same couldn't be said about her heart. She swirled with guilt, with anger, with confusion. But she couldn't take it back. Part of her didn't want to take any of it back.
She raised her fingers to her cheek and felt how heat radiated off her skin from the impact. She could handle being stabbed with a sword. She could handle being cut by weapons. She could handle her body filling with poison. But this? When the stun subsided, blood boiled in her veins. She turned to look at her mother, her fringe brushing against her forehead in messy strands. Mebuki's eyes were wide and her hand, now limp, was held up like a ragdoll.
Injury to insult.
Sakura pivoted on her heel and stormed in the direction of her room.
"Sakura!" Mebuki called after her, but she was ignored.
Sakura threw open her closet door and grabbed her travel bag. In swift movements, she snatched her combat gear, travel hygiene kit, and anything she could grasp to throw it in the bag's many pockets. She vigorously zipped it, though mindfully as not to let her chakra mold through her fingers and destroy the pack's fabric, before storming out into the hall once more. Her parents were waiting at the foot of the stairs, Kizashi speaking in a hushed voice to his wife. They turned when they saw her at the staircase. Her mother's face was blank, void of emotion. It angered Sakura more. Does she even realize how much that hurt?
She shoved her way past her parents, hearing their voices but not their words. It stung, it stung, it stung, it stung. She felt a firm hand grab her upper arm once again and, on instinct, she raised her fist to swat the offender away.
She heard it before she felt it.
Glass shattered onto the bamboo floor, its shattering like a cacophony of angry, screeching instruments ringing in her ears for a raging second. She turned to the sight by her feet and saw she'd knocked her family portrait off of the table. Their smiling faces were now covered in shards of glass, distorting their younger features. Sakura hardly spared a moment before she turned as quickly as she could, leaving her keys on the small ceramic plate, and dashed into the night. She held her tears until she arrived back at Naruto's apartment where he offered his bed and didn't push her to talk. She went back when the house was empty, and surprisingly unlocked, to empty her room.
"Haruno-san."
Sakura looked up from her daze and spun around on her stool to see her team of medics turning to her for dismissal. Three of them were older kunoichi around Kakashi's age: Aiko, Eri, and Kano. The fourth was a male shinobi, Goro, who was three years older than Sakura. The five of them had been running the clinic in Hana Village for ten days now. After seeing the state of the village clinic, she had almost immediately put in a request to extend their stay. There was more work to be done than she had initially anticipated.
Of course, Sakura had mixed feelings about the need to tip the scales for her work life and cause her personal life to suffer, but she tried not to dwell on it. Ino would be fine, likely bombarded with work and family matters. Naruto had his studies with Iruka. And Sasuke? He would keep himself busy, she reasoned. Between meetings with Hiroto, training, and entertaining their blond teammate when studying sessions were complete, perhaps he would be more preoccupied than she thought. When she wrote the letter to Kakashi indicating the lengthened mission, she thought about apologizing to Sasuke, both for how they'd left off prior to her leave and for her delayed return. But no, that would come off too personal. Friendship isn't too personal, right? She'd have to write everyone an apology if she did that.
All day, the medics she first met in Hana were shadowing them and learning more about the procedures she employs in Konoha. The daylight hours, beginning at seven in the morning, had the team split between gathering herbs and flowers for medicines and ointments while the other half tended to the wounded and sick in the clinic itself. Their evenings were filled with overlooking the construction and logistics of a new clinic's construction in the heart of Hana for better access to all. Their thirteen-hour work days in Hana were coming to an end, however, to Sakura's relief.
She blinked herself out of her daze and scanned her medics' faces.
"Oh?" Sakura said, stealing a glance at the clock on the wall that read 8:15PM. "Looks like it's time to wrap up." She turned to her team and smiled. "We can stop here for today. Good work, everyone. Please be prepared to leave at dawn tomorrow,." She offered them a small bow of gratitude.
They exchanged grins and the three kunoichi stretched their limbs while chattering excitedly about taking hot baths. They strolled out of the clinic, voices joyful and buoyant. She then turned to Goro who had his hands held behind his back in an eased pose. His tall stature and broad shoulders, however, made him look as though he was ready to pounce into action at any moment. His soft brown eyes gazed at the stacks of documentation she had on the counter top, the corners of his mouth slightly downturned.
"Do you need something, Goro?" she asked, folding one leg beneath the other on the stool's seat.
"That's a lot of paperwork, Haruno-san."
"Please, call me Sakura," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "And yeah, it's a big stack, but it's necessary. I'm revamping their documentation methods for a more comprehensive, yet concise record-keeping system. They'll need this in the future."
He offered her a lopsided grin. "Then it looks like we can't really stop here."
The pinkette smiled back tiredly. "You don't need to overwork yourself, Goro-san. I just need to make sure everything is signed, sorted, and secured."
Goro stepped forward and sat at another stool that was tucked under the counter. He reached for the first file folder and grabbed a pen. "You'd be overworking if you did it all alone. It'll be faster if there are two of us, right?" he said, already working at scanning the pages and scribbling signatures.
Sakura studied him for a moment before grinning. "Thanks, Goro-san," she said, turning to the stack and scribbling her own signatures away. They worked quietly for a while, sorting the documents in a meticulous order, writing in any missing case notes, and topping off each file with a signature. This was the least exciting part of her work when it was digitized in Konoha files, and even more so with this archaic method. Although, it did help to keep her mind off the question Sasuke had asked a week earlier: What kind of opinion is so contrary that you won't speak with them?
One that hurts me, she'd said. If only she could finish the thought. Because it would hurt you.
"What are the next steps for you?"
Goro pulled her out of her daze once more, and she hardly realized she had slowed her pace significantly. Perhaps that was his intention: to bring her back to speed. "What do you mean?" she asked, resuming her previous rate of scanning and scribbling.
"For the clinic," he clarified. "This is the first of many monthly visits, right? Is that all it's going to be?"
Sakura shook her head. "The long-term mission is to transition Hana Village's clinic into a more efficient, self-sustaining machine with more space, beds, and well-trained staff. The new clinic in the center of the village should make it easier to access for everyone. It's predicted that construction starts next month. By that time, Aiko will be leading missions here as my second pair of eyes." She handed him a file to sort and moved on to the next one.
"Wow. Ambitious."
"Maybe," Sakura shrugged, finishing off a signature and handing another file to him with a wide grin. "Ambitious, but possible."
Goro returned the grin and sorted the file into the large stack. "Then what?"
"The medics who are shadowing us will take over at some point, but hopefully we can make a contract to have a Konoha medic transfer here permanently to continue assisting."
"That's not what I meant," Goro said, taking a file Sakura offered to him. "I mean, then what comes after Hana Village?"
Sakura paused to think about this. "The budget for the children's mental health clinic has been approved, so I guess I'm going to start training staff for that as it starts construction. There's some new literature out there with best mental health practices that need to be disseminated."
Goro grinned in a way that seemed patronizing to Sakura for a moment. "No, I mean, what happens after all the work stuff? What do you do for fun?"
The pinkette raised an eyebrow at him before scribbling another note and signature. "I guess…I guess I just spend time with my team. Not the one at the hospital, but the one I was assigned to when I first became a genin. Or I spend time with my other best friend, Ino, if we're both off work. Why do you ask?"
The shinobi shrugged. "Just wondering." He then offered a grin. "You just seem like a big workaholic, that's all."
Sakura laughed at that, sending him a quick quip that he wasn't technically wrong. In truth, she loved her job. She loved it dearly. That was hardly a secret.
They continued to work in silence again, and the clock ticked by until nine o'clock. An additional forty-five minutes on top of the usual thirteen-hour shift was taking its toll on her eyes. Thankfully, she was on the last file. She signed the documents with a flourish of formality, letting her pen swirl in the air as she finished off her signature. Goro chuckled next to her as she exaggerated her closing the folder and passing it on to him. He took it with his own flourish before fingering through the organized files and sliding the last one where it belonged. He bowed, and Sakura slow-clapped as though in reverence.
"Excellent work, Sakura-sama," Goro teased.
"Oh, but thank you, Goro-sama," she grinned back. "It would have taken me two hours on my own."
The two of them chuckled as they began to turn off all of the lights to the clinic, chatting away about the paths they would take on their way back to Konoha in the morning. The two of them exited the small building, locked it behind them, and made their way back to the Hana Inn. Her feet ached, her eyes burned with exhaustion, but a smile still remained on her face. Tiredness aside, the amount of work they were able to accomplish in ten days was one to celebrate for at least a moment.
Celebrations didn't usually last long, however.
"I saw your mother in town before we left," Goro said, apparently unaware of the way she tensed up at his words.
"Really?" she hummed, feigning a casual tone. She could feel discomfort rise in her chest regardless. Even though Mebuki Haruno was not near her, was at least one-and-a-half days of travel away from her, the thought made her cringe.
"On my day off," Goro said, nodding. "She asked about how you've been doing."
"I see."
"I told her you're as busy as usual. I also let her know that we were going on a mission for a while."
Against her better judgment, Sakura couldn't help but ask, "And what did she say?"
Goro shrugged. "She told me to be safe."
The pinkette hummed in acknowledgement, and the familiar stinging in her heart came back. It was easier now, though, to push it aside. There was part of her that felt irritated that her own mother didn't pry more about Sakura's well-being, that she didn't try to ask more questions about her own daughter. "That's nice," Sakura said simply, pushing down the hurt.
"She also asked me if I was seeing anyone romantically."
Sakura rolled her eyes. "That sounds like her," the pinkette scoffed. "She loves to ask about that part of people's lives." When he didn't respond to her retort, she turned to Goro and nudged his arm playfully in preparation to change the topic of conversation. "So? Is there a lucky lady for Goro out there?"
"'Lucky lady?'" he mocked. "That's rich."
"You can tell me!" she said, poking fun. "You and I have worked together for a while, now, and I think I know your type. I want to know if she deserves my seal of approval."
Goro rolled his eyes and Sakura cackled at the sight.
"Can I guess who?" she asked.
"You can try," he grinned.
Sakura hummed in thought for a moment, tilting her head from one side to the other to show her thinking process. "Is it Yua?" she asked, picturing the petite brunette in her mind.
"Nope."
"Ichika?"
"Uh-uh."
"Miwa?"
"Negative."
Sakura gasped and gestured to the Inn that was coming up in their view. "Is it Aiko?"
"No," he said emphatically, causing Sakura to burst into a fit of laughter as they entered the Inn lobby.
Her laughter died down to soft chuckles as she wiped her eyes of the humorous tears that formed there. "The only place where you ever spend time is the hospital," she said, slowing to a stop in front of her room and leaning against the doorframe. "I've already named all of the kunoichi medics near our age."
Goro shrugged and offered her a lopsided grin. "You're right, I only ever spend time at the hospital," he agreed, his voice losing its playful edge. "But you haven't named everyone near our age."
Sakura ran through the names of the medic nin she knew in the hospital in her head, her brow furrowing in concentration. She then looked at Goro quizzically. "Yes, I did."
He took a small step closer to her, a step that sent a familiar signal that urged itself from the recesses of her mind. Before she could fully recognize the gesture, Goro spoke again.
"Not everyone near our age," he repeated, his voice soft.
Oh.
Sakura felt herself perk at the realization of his words. Suddenly, her hand began to rub her other palm like a worry stone. She looked up at Goro, feeling the humor in her features dissipate into the ether. His brown eyes seemed to trail over her face, studying her, and she recognized it: the look some men gave her.
"I like you, Sakura."
Oh.
They were words that she wanted to hear…but the voice they came from, the lips they escaped, the eyes that gazed at her in the familiar way, the man from whom all these things originated, didn't fit. She felt herself deflate. She'd worked with Goro since before the war, at the hospital when he first began his clinical rotations prior to being hired on full-time as a medic. For a little over a year and a half, they worked side-by-side on surgeries, emergencies, and a few overnight shifts. She considered him a friend. A work friend, at that…and truly nothing more. This is friendship.
"Goro," she said, straightening her form and biting her lip. "I—"
"Please," he interrupted her, holding up a hand. "Don't respond now. I didn't mean to spring this on you suddenly. I just couldn't continue on without letting you know how I feel." He took a step back from her and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Just think about it?" he asked, his voice dipped in a hint of sheepishness.
Sakura tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before rubbing her palm once more. She nodded once. However, she knew the contemplation would only lead in circles around the reality of friendship with him. If anything, she had already silently began making plans of transferring units or using her time at the hospital solely to complete the children's mental health clinic preparations, anything to avoid a greater conflict of interest at their work.
He grinned at her before nodding and taking his leave. She turned towards her door, quickly inserted the key into the lock, and slipped within the room's empty silence. She flipped the light switch, turned the safety lock, and kicked off her shoes. Her aching feet rested on the cool bamboo flooring. She heaved a sigh and began to strip herself of her clothing as she trudged into the bathroom to blast steaming water from the showerhead.
I like you, Sakura.
She remembered the way Goro's voice sounded so sure and how he stared at her, searching for a sign of confirmation or reciprocation. Surely, he knew she was going to reject him. Surely, he knew that was what waited for him after she would "just think about it."
Sakura stepped into the scalding water, welcoming its heat upon her tired skin and muscles. She washed her hair, washed her body, wishing she could wash away what she'd heard him say. But you can't un-hear words. And his words were paired with the ones from her mother, spurring the stinging in her chest to resume once more.
Why can't you want someone who actually wants you?
Sakura woke early the next morning despite her desires to sleep right up until they needed to leave. It was not even six in the morning, but she had one more order of business to complete. She packed her belongings quickly, knowing the sun would begin to peer over the flowery hills soon, the sign that marked their urgency to depart the village. She slept in her traveling clothes to save time, so she tossed her backpack straps around her shoulders and hurried out the door, but not before grabbing a small, compostable orb with a single asagao lodged into its damp soil.
She and the medics agreed to rendezvous in front of the clinic at seven in the morning, but she marched right by and headed determinedly towards the one place she had yet to visit. The plateau's path weaved downward toward the patch of land that had flowers bursting in organized colors, their hues still visible despite the dim light from the morning sun that lazily began its trek upward.
Sakura searched for the familiar patch of asagao, retracing her steps to the place where she last remembered seeing the crowd of people say their final goodbyes to young Nana. When she found it, a smile broke out across her face. A small, bronze plaque now read the girl's name, beckoning Sakura to approach. She did so excitedly and began speaking as though the girl was sitting atop the flowers in wait.
"Hi, Nana-chan," Sakura whispered, as though the other flowers around her would be disturbed by a louder voice. "It's good to see you again."
The medic knelt on the damp earth and held up her single asagao in her hands, showing the small plot of flowers their newest member. "Sorry I didn't get to leave one here last time I visited. It was really crowded."
The plot of blue didn't respond, of course, but she continued on anyway. She searched the plot for a small gap where other blue petals and green stems would allow the newcomer entry, she dug a small hole and placed her single asagao in its place, patting the soil down for good measure. "There," she said, dusting her hands. "I couldn't carry very many of them, so this one is from me and all of my team."
The asagao shivered lightly in a breeze that blew, caressing her skin. Sakura took it as an acknowledgment of the gesture, figuring it was more comforting to think that Nana was saying thank you rather than her reality of speaking to a pile of flowers. She sat there for a moment before clasping her hands together to offer a quiet prayer. Perhaps Nana was there, sitting with her, humming more words for the color blue. Azure, sapphire, cobalt, cerulean, and all of the other shades she taught her. Since then, Sakura found herself learning more shades, like beryl, a curious crystal. She couldn't help but picture young Nana sitting atop her plot of flowers, her hair swaying back and forth while her lips silently recited these names. Then, she looked up.
"At your last appointment with me, you told me good luck with that boy-thing I had," Sakura said. "Thanks for that. I needed it. We had dinner together a lot, talked a lot, and went on a date." Sakura grinned. "Your luck must have helped. Sasuke-kun was part of my team when we were young. He's actually the reason I was able to visit here. You might have seen him, I suppose, when…when you were finally able to rest here."
The grin that graced her face turned into a mournful frown. "I'm sorry I couldn't get the treatment to you on time," she whispered, staring at the place where she imagined Nana's face to be if she were sitting with her. "Those spores, the things in your body, were tricky. But you know, Nana-chan, the biopsy you had, that time we had to get a piece of you to send off, it's saving a lot of others right now. The things we found with you are helping many. So, thank you." The medic let the palm of her hand brush against the swaying asagao, and she imagined the velvet petals' dance against her skin doing so to say, you're welcome.
Sakura sat like that for a while until she hardly noticed the weight of her backpack on her shoulders or the sun begin to rise over the flowery, rolling hills. Hana village was so peaceful. She wondered what it was like prior to the war, prior to the White Zetsu attack that marred the buildings. The villagers seemed more joyful than those in Konoha. How did they do it?
"Haruno-san?"
The medic turned at the sound of her name and rose to her feet as a familiar face made her way over. In her hands and at either side of her were two large watering cans that sloshed with each step.
"Nao-san," Sakura greeted, bowing slightly. She took a step aside, careful not to have her large bag bump into the woman, allowing her to stand by her daughter's flowery plot. Nao shook her head, however, and gently guided Sakura to her right. Nao gave her a small smile before setting one of the watering cans down. With the other in her right hand, she began to pour its contents like a gentle rain over a plot of bright yellow flowers that bloomed next to the Nana's asagao.
"My husband," she said. She then walked over to the other plot of red flowers and began to water them as well. She emptied the first watering can and began with the next. "My son." Nao then took Sakura's hand and allowed her to hold onto the handle of the watering can with her, and the two of them sprinkled Nana's asagao. "My daughter."
Sakura listened as the water's showering noises were muffled by the soil and petals. She turned to Nao as the two of them emptied the watering can. "Nao-san," she said, breaking their quiet. "It's good to see you. You're looking well."
This wasn't a lie. The last time she had seen Nao, the woman had a more haunted look in her eyes. While Nana's ceremony had an undertone of celebration, she had lost her daughter, her last living family. At the moment, Nao seemed to have a more peaceful glow. The gauntness of her eyes receded into how Sakura remembered her to be.
"I'm glad you think so," Nao smiled softly. "I heard you came to the village over a week ago. I wasn't able to stop by the clinic at all, but I'm glad to have run into you here."
Sakura grinned. "I couldn't leave without visiting first."
The pair stood together quietly while Nao clasped her hands together and prayed. She held her fingers close to her lips where thin wrinkles formed as a result of age and concentration. Nao's skin around her eyes seemed to have grown wrinkles as well, more wrinkles than Sakura remembered when she first met her at the gates of Konoha. Months of trying to save her daughter after losing her husband and son had taken a toll. Despite this, Nao seemed far more at peace. It shocked the medic at how at ease the woman was with grieving, though she knew the current level of peace came at a heavy price of pain.
Nao opened her eyes and knelt in front of Nana's plot. She turned to Sakura and invited the pink-haired girl to sit with her. Sakura obliged and let the soft soil cushion her knees as she settled in place.
"I was never able to properly apologize to you, Nao-san," Sakura said, breaking their momentary quiet. "I wanted so badly to do more for her and for you. I'm sorry for how it all happened."
Nao shook her head and rested her hand on the medic's, her skin smooth. "And I was never able to properly thank you, Haruno-san." Her fingers gave Sakura's hand a comforting squeeze. "You gave my daughter a fighting chance. I was angry at the time, but it wasn't with you; I was angry at life and tried finding someone to blame."
Sakura gazed down at their hands, feeling the way her throat began to tighten as sorrow made its way through her body. Her eyes began to sting as she urged her tears to keep from spilling. "She fought hard."
Sure enough, a tear slipped down Sakura's cheek. Nao turned to her and the two women sobbed quietly together, holding each other's hands with desperate comfort at the memory of the small girl whose life ended before a true sunrise. The medic's heart ached in her chest, but the sharpness of the pain no longer stabbed at her the way it had when she fell into Sasuke's embrace when she finally allowed herself to grieve in his apartment. If there were such a thing as a reassuring grief, this is what built in her chest. Relief that the suffering was over, the pain was no more, and that, perhaps, she now knew all synonyms for the color blue.
After a few sniffling moments, Sakura wiped at her face with the back of her free arm. They both exhaled and glanced at each other with amusement.
"I take it you're leaving today," Nao said, nodding to the medic's large bag as she wiped her own face free of the moisture that gathered on her cheeks. She released her hand from the medic's.
Sakura nodded her own head. "I wanted this to be my last stop. My team is waiting for me at the clinic."
Nao raised her eyebrows. "The team that accompanied you before?"
The medic shook her head no as she reached out to one of the asagao petals, letting her fingers gently graze its velvet surface. "This is a specialized team of medic shinobi. We've been working together to help create ointments, treat ailments, and get the new clinic's construction up and going. My other team is back home in Konoha. They were here last time for emotional support."
The woman hummed thoughtfully. "I figured that was the case. I saw them on my way here and didn't recognize them. The man on your current team isn't as handsome as the dark-haired one from before."
Sakura felt her face grow warm, forcing her to focus more on the sensation of the velveteen petal in her fingers. She couldn't help but chuckle at the woman's brazen comment. "Sasuke-kun was always very popular for his looks, even when we were young kids."
"He's the one that worried you, isn't he? The boy-thing Nana was talking about was the Uchiha."
The medic felt her face grow even warmer. "Um, yes, that's…that's the one."
Nao gently nudged Sakura, a playful, soft smile playing on her face. "Good choice."
The young woman tucked a strand of hair behind her ear anxiously but felt some satisfaction in hearing she had Nao's approval. "It's a bit complicated right now. Goro, the one on my medic squad, confessed to me last night. I feel bad rejecting him, but I can't say I can reciprocate his feelings."
"Because you love the Uchiha."
Sakura's breath caught for a moment, shocked at how much Nao seemed to have gathered during the brief moments of self-disclosure she had while treating her daughter and the small amount of time the woman even saw Sasuke with her. Sakura's surprise dissipated quickly, however, and she felt her shoulders deflate.
"I…," she murmured. Would she still say she loved him? It was the obvious emotion, but was that allowed in their friendship? Despite her own questioning, Sakura couldn't help but be honest for a moment, with both Nao and herself. "Yes, I do. I always have." She felt her heart sink. "But that's complicated, too. He was one of the focal points of conflict for Konoha for years, even before the war, so he doesn't exactly have the best reputation. It's caused a lot of strain for him."
"And those affiliated with him?"
"To an extent."
Nao hummed thoughtfully once more. "Your parents don't like him, huh?"
Sakura chuckled weakly. "It's almost as though you've been watching me all these months, Nao-san. You're right," she sighed as she dropped her fingers into her lap. "My dad is hesitant about him and my mom…despises him, I think. She didn't hesitate to criticize me when I'd try to visit Sasuke-kun while he was being detained. She keeps telling me to think about what our family image would be, how he's hurt me in the past, so on and so forth. I know all of those things, but I can't say that I care very much about them. I can't just abandon…whatever he and I are. I don't want to."
A soft hand rested on the medic's shoulder, and Sakura turned to Nao to see eyes filled with empathy. "I'm sorry you're going through that," she said. "I hear you when you say you love him. It's very clear. I also hear the fear your mother has for you. Balancing those two things are hard."
Sakura nodded. Part of her wished for Nao to give her advice, to guide her in the way she wished her own mother would.
"What do you plan to do?" Nao asked.
"I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to my parents since I moved and found my own place. The way things had ended weren't very clean."
"What are you scared will happen if you speak to them again?"
The medic thought for a moment. "I don't know. I guess I'm scared that their opinions won't change, and that this situation will be our new normal. That an estranged relationship with them will be my new normal." She turned to Nao. "But you're right about that, too: I'm scared."
Nao nodded her head. "I know it's hard for you right now, Haruno-san. Despite it, though, I have confidence in you. You're a strong one."
Sakura chuckled and patted the woman's hand on her shoulder. "I feel like I still need to be the one comforting you, Nao-san."
The woman snorted. "We're allowed to do that for each other. There's not competition here."
The two chuckled together, stood up from the soft ground, and bowed to Nao's family plots before making their way back up to the plateau. The sun was peeking higher over the rolling hills of endless flowers, their petals illuminated by the soft morning light. As they neared the clinic, Sakura saw her medics walk out of the doors and glance in her direction. Aiko, Eri, and Kano waved enthusiastically in the pair's direction. Goro looked more pensive, but he smiled, nonetheless.
Sakura turned to Nao and gave her a tight hug. She felt the woman bring her hands to her shoulders and pat them encouragingly. Sakura pulled back and smiled. "Aiko will be leading the medical missions from now on. I'll be back if work permits it. If anything should come up where you need medical assistance, please let my staff know."
Nao nodded her head and smiled. "Of course, Haruno-san. Please take care."
With that, the team of medics sped off into the hills toward home. Sakura could feel Goro's eyes on her, but she tried her best to ignore it. If anything, the ignorance of his looks came easily, for the yearning of home brought a new desire: to see the mismatched eyes, share the secret smiles, and feel the comfort of a certain Uchiha.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
Hiroto leaned back in his chair and tapped his cigarette against his ashtray. The sound of rain pattering against the windows and rooftops made for a constant rhythm during their pause. "You know," the officer began, taking another puff, "you aren't the most interesting person when Sakura is out of town."
Sasuke frowned, unsure of how to respond to the man's comment. He reported what he usually reported, as far as he was concerned. He trained in the mornings to grow more accustomed to combat with his only arm, humored Naruto if he was pestered enough into sparring, and went home to sleep. The only other time he interacted with anyone was when the loud blond dragged him to the Hokage tower where Kakashi and Tsunade read a letter from the pink-haired medic they'd received. It detailed her extended stay, additional preparations and accomplishments, and an apology to everyone for the inconvenience. Everyone. Nothing personalized. Nothing directed at a certain individual.
Not that it mattered. That would have been too personal, anyway, Sasuke reasoned, before realizing he was hoping to be personally addressed in her letter. He shook off the thought the moment it came into his consciousness. Instead, he let himself feel just the tiniest bit of relief in knowing that Sakura would be back within the next hour or minute.
"You seem more dull than usual," Hiroto egged on, a smirk growing on his face.
"You seem more nosey than usual."
Hiroto snorted. "Alright, alright. I suppose you're free to go."
Sasuke nodded curtly before rising to his feet, wasting little time in walking towards the office door.
"Sasuke."
The Uchiha turned back, his hand on the knob impatiently.
"Remember to keep out of trouble."
He nodded once before slipping out of the office. As he meandered down the hall, he heard the familiar high-pitched voice of young Sato and the tiredly confused front desk officer who tried to entertain him. Sasuke neared the lobby and turned to the boy, whose head snapped in his direction like a radar. "Hero!" the young boy chimed, throwing himself off the officer's lap. "Papa's done?"
"Papa's done."
Sato beamed at him. "Where are you going to go, now?"
The Uchiha shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the realization that he might need to speak more gently with the child. He wasn't the best with kids. "Home, probably," Sasuke replied.
"Sa'ra supposed to come back now. That's what Papa said."
"He's right."
"You gonna go see her?"
Behind Sato, the front desk officer cleared his throat to cover up what sounded more like a chuckle. Sasuke shot him an unamused look, and the officer turned back to his paperwork on the desk in front of him to feign business. Sasuke turned back to the child and sighed. "I'm not sure."
"If you do, tell her I said to come back and visit!"
Sasuke nodded, feeling his shoulders relax, but failing to notice a small smile form on his face. Sato raised his fist and the Uchiha stared at the young boy for a moment, recognizing the gesture, but unsure how to proceed. Sato raised his fist higher encouragingly, and Sasuke sighed once more before letting his own fist bump against the boy's small fingers. Then, he turned from the child and walked out of the lobby.
Standing beneath the awning of the building was a relief, as rain had poured upon Konoha since the day before. Less villagers walked the streets, though, providing Sasuke with the potential for a more peaceful walk home. The less eyes that glared at him, the better he felt. He reached behind his head and pulled his hood over his dark hair. It was a simple cotton hoodie, so the rain would easily soak him. However, perhaps he could walk fast enough back to his apartment to avoid the need to wring out his clothes when at home.
If Sakura were home, he would have been alerted immediately by Naruto's incessant notifications, as the blond said himself that he'd be waiting at the village gates for her, rain or shine. Sasuke called him an idiot for wasting a day that could be spent studying with Iruka. But…
The Uchiha slowed his pace when he came to an intersection. To the left was his apartment. To the right, the village gates. The rain picked up its raucous tempo, and the ends of his sleeves were growing damp. Make a decision, he urged himself. Logically, traveling home would be the best option. He could dry off, avoid getting sick from springtime's downpour, and not showcase (embarrassing) eagerness.
Another part of him, the part that let himself feel the sliver of relief knowing that she was coming home, and perhaps excitement, turned his attention to the other option. He could wait for her, welcome her home in his quiet way, and satisfy the curious desire to be in her presence. And, he supposed, get endlessly teased by their blond friend. That didn't seem very appealing. And yet, he was at an impasse.
Make. A. Decision.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned right.
Turning right required him to slip through bustling market streets on a sunny day. During a Konoha spring, it meant slipping through villagers donning umbrellas and raincoats, each person far too preoccupied with their lives and rain supplies to bother with the Uchiha. Precipitation only kept the kids at home, but didn't keep from workers, parents, and others with daily tasks from crossing off their to-do lists.
Sasuke stuffed his hand into his pocket and kept moving forward, careful to avoid bags of groceries, grumbling patrons, and spinning umbrellas. This path was advantageous, despite the crowd. Sakura would pass through here if he didn't make it to the gate in time. Sacrifices, he decided, but he would never admit them to be as such.
Suddenly, something gripped him by the arm and spun him around abruptly. He looked at the offending individual and narrowed his eyes. Through the rain, he recognized the single scar that ran along the man's face. The man's hood still allowed for his eyes to glare at the Uchiha while a smug smirk formed across his face. "Uchiha," Ken said, his voice dripping with vicious humor. "Your ass should be in jail."
Sasuke attempted to pull his arm out of Ken's grasp, but the shinobi held him in place. They began forming a clot in the middle of the street, and impatient villagers began shooting glances of annoyance their way. This was the opposite of remaining inconspicuous.
"Let go," Sasuke said, his voice firm.
"I heard your trial date is under review," Ken continued, ignoring him. "None of that is fair, you know. You don't deserve a trial, you don't deserve to be heard, and you don't deserve anyone's mercy." With his other hand, Ken prodded a single finger into Sasuke's chest and he raised his voice. "You're sick."
Sasuke glanced around at the villagers whose attentions were caught by Ken's voice before turning back to the shinobi. "What do you want," he said, his tone inciting a demand as opposed to a question.
"I want you to be locked up," Ken hissed, his grip tightening on his arm. "The Hokage is blind to your wrongdoings because of your 'contribution' to the war. We might have needed you then, but we sure as hell don't need you now. You're a disease. And you should have been detained at Mozukai!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. He had no time for this. He snapped his arm up, breaking Ken's grip that sent him stumbling backward a few steps. "You lied at Mozukai."
"You broke the law!"
More villagers turned in their direction, some of them slowing down upon recognizing the mismatched eyes that were involved in the verbal skirmish. He needed to lay low, and this was the farthest of that. He pivoted on his heel and kept going in the direction of the village gates, ignoring Ken's verbal assault.
"Village leadership is blind!" Ken went on, drawing more attention from the crowds as the shinobi pushed by the villagers Sasuke had the decency to avoid contacting. Ken kicked up water and mud in Sasuke's direction, dampening his dark pant legs and splashing nearby villagers. "You're a stain! A stain on Konoha! Even if the village hero acknowledges you, it doesn't change the fact that no one here actually wants you!"
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
"You've killed shinobi, samurai, anyone who gets in your way! Murder runs in your blood! Look at Itachi Uchiha, your own brother!"
At the sound of his last name, groups of villagers perked their ears and turned in his direction. Some eyes read fear, others confusion. None, however, were positive.
Sasuke's fist clenched angrily in his pocket, but he restrained his frustration and continued trudging forward.
Ken reached out, gripped Sasuke's hood and yanked it off of his head, exposing him to the rain that poured around them. This stopped the Uchiha in his tracks, as he needed a moment to breathe. He closed his eyes, but he didn't bother covering his head with his hood. His raven locks were already damp with the spring rain. He took slow steps forward, keeping his eyes on the ground directly in front of him. He heard and felt crowds of villagers halt their errands and turn to the ruckus that formed in the middle of the street. Suddenly, he and Ken were no longer bumping into busy people. There was distance, a ring of onlookers that formed around him like a shark among minnows.
"And that medic," Ken said, his splashing steps close behind him. "That Sakura. You either put her under a genjutsu to make her bow down at your every will like Madara or she really is just another dumb bitch—"
A fist landed in Ken's face. Muffled cracks echoed through the downpour, the sound of a broken jaw or a few lost teeth. Sasuke didn't realize how satisfying it would be to land one on Ken, to allow his own blood to boil without holding back, to see the way his face morphed into shock as Sasuke almost literally forced the words back into the hole that was his mouth.
Within moments, Sasuke felt bodies on him. He was pinned to the ground, his only arm wrenched behind his back as his face slammed against puddles of rainwater. He sputtered for a moment and spit the small amounts of dirt that made their way on his lips during the fall. He didn't resist them. Yelling for backup filled his ears, backup to hold him down.
"You don't know what else he can do!"
"He punched someone, he punched someone, I saw it!"
"How is he still out in public?"
"Was his sharingan activated?!"
"I swear it was!"
Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment before opening them to glare at Ken who, despite holding his cheek that was surely in pain, had a malicious smirk on his face. Villagers crowded him with concern while they shot the Uchiha looks of disgust or fear, some of them even dropping their umbrellas to help Ken to his feet. Sasuke then skimmed the crowd and look into the eyes of the villagers who hated him, who hated his family and the blood than ran through his veins. It was when his eyes gazed upon the familiar petal pink shade and grass-green hues that he froze. His adrenaline dipped. Sasuke scanned her face and recognized the horror that marred her expression. As he closed his eyes and felt the military police haul him to his feet, the ringing thoughts began in his head.
It was all his own doing.
It was all his own fault.
She didn't deserve this.
None of it.
