32 – Jack

I have been thinking on the drive home, the room next to ours... Listen to me… ours… the one he uses like a walk in wardrobe, it would be the best one for Jr. I don't' want to upset him though and I try to broach the subject only to find him in the phone to someone called "Dev."

"Yeah, a doorway in the wall of my bedroom. I want to connect to the room next door I use for clothes and things, a walk-in robe deal. Yeah, well … a nursery actually. In time it can go back to a walk-in robe once the little fella is old enough to go down the other end of the house with the other three animals." He is saying and I feel giddy from the realisation that we are on the same page again. Other three... he is counting my child as his?

I seize his face and kiss him, forgetting he is on the phone and he laughs as he pushes at me to talk "Yes Dev. See ya later, no … just me other half. Handsy. Lovely and soooo handsy."

I can live with that moniker I think.

"So … what do we do first?" I ask, keen to help.

"Well … I want him with us for the first little while, when he's a few months old or something we can move him into the other room but with the night feeds and such, better by us yeah?"

"Agreed" he is right. Alice was a pain in another room, keeping the boy with us means more time in the bed warm, gonna be a winter baby after all. Snow threatens this weekend. "So … we set up a part of the bedroom for him and take our time with the nursery next door."

"My thinking exactly" he smiles "I can move out that chest of drawers that has me extra shirts, put that in the spare room you were in. I only go in that maybe once a week if that. Then the entire corner can be the changing table and a little set of drawers for him. Everything else can wait."

"I cleaned out the nursery as much as could fit. More still there but not needed yet. He's too young to care about toys and such, I did get the little mobile of bumble bees and flowers. So cute" I gush without meaning to but find him listening without judgment "The bassinet is a lovely big one on caster wheels so we can move it to the bedside for the night-time. Plenty of clothes but we will need more, he's so tiny I think she didn't' have much 000 stuff. Might have thought she would get more once he was here. Then I looked for more clothes in the little set of drawers. Oh! The drawers. I left hers there because they were big and heavy, I got some new ones from the store with…ah… a few thing. You HAVE to see them"

I rush out and pulled them from the back of the SUV, the last things in so they could be the first thing out. He is laughing as he sees them and agrees, they are sweet. I kept to the bee theme and they are like a bee hive, with bees for the knobs on the drawers and the top lifts up to put the booties and things in the top. Such a clever thing.

"Oh my god, really?" Ianto laughs, not sure how much I just spent on Jessie but sort of pleased as it was worth it just for his joy, like it shows I am committing to us right? Perfect "Sweet, I like the idea of the yellows and blacks. Maybe some bright pink and purple flowers here and there so the boy is not too yellowed out."

He sets up the change table from Lissy's and the other things I collected, the clothes all blue and the ones I purchased all … not blue at all. I am taken with this desire to let Jessie choose his own colour, something I believed strongly in with Alice too. David is definitely a blue boy but Mimi is not pink like her mama … she prefers lilac. Alice seems to like red, it suits her too.

Our family is perfect.

Listen to me.

Wow.