A/N Hello everyone! I hope this post finds all of you safe and healthy during this crazy time. A warm welcome to the new followers I've received the past few weeks! I really am going to try and post more often. Homeschooling the past few weeks has thrown a wedge into writing time. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Therapy had been – exhausting, Alicia thought, as she pulled a sweater over her head and peered at her reflection in the full-length mirror. Her therapy session had been much longer than she'd expected. She was used to conventional therapy sessions. Going to a nice office suite somewhere, sitting on the therapist's comfortable but impersonal sofa for an hour, discussing the issues at hand, and then leaving with a few strategies to help get her through the next week. Today's session had been far from conventional.

For several reasons Finn had insisted she see a therapist who worked solely for the FBI and WITSEC, specializing in trauma. Her position in the government, and Will's current WITSEC status were just a few. Alicia was one of only a few clients, Elaine, Laney as she liked to go by, was currently working with.

Instead of meeting at a generic office, they met at Laney's bungalow in the Lake Oswego suburb of Portland. Their sessions could last for as many hours as Alicia needed, or wanted. By the end of today's three-hour session, she felt a little like she'd spent time visiting with a friend rather than a professional who's job it was to analyze her mental status.

During the session they'd taken a few needed breaks sharing a warm cup of coffee enjoying the panoramic view of Lake Oswego that lay just beyond the property. The quaint community surrounding the lake had reminded Alicia of her cottage. Bringing both a sense of ease and longing. She'd decided that was probably the point of only having one or two clients at a time. The patient, usually someone entering WITSEC, needed to know they had at least one person they could trust and talk to at any time of day.

The doorbell rang. She glanced at her watch. Will wasn't supposed to be there for a half hour. She checked her reflection in the mirror one last time and headed down the stairs.

"Is it Will?" she asked Allison, as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

"No," she responded, pointing to a bright colored floral arrangement sitting on the kitchen counter. "Delivery for you." A broad smile crossed her lips.

Alicia shook her head moving towards the fragrant bouquet. "Flowers twice in one day seems a little excessive," she said, thinking Will had gone overboard sending her flowers when he'd just, hours before, hand delivered some to her.

"I think it's sweet," Allison said, glancing at Alex playing with his toys across the room. "I've only seen him with you a few times, and admittedly for not very long, but the way he looks at you…that's a man in love if I've ever seen one."

Alicia could feel the heat rising to her cheeks as she reached for the card amongst the arrangement. Alex had begun to fuss. Card in hand, Alicia moved across the room scooping him up into her arms. "Come sit with Grandma. Let's see what this note says."

The toddler seemed content sitting in Alicia's lap reaching for her necklace dangling in front of him.

A few minutes later Allison turned her attention from the dinner preparations back to Alicia who was still staring at the card in her hand.

"So, are they from Will?"

It took a few seconds for Allison's words to register. "No, they're from James," she said, folding the note back up and placing it in the envelope, pushing back the onslaught of emotions that rushed through her.

"James?" Allison questioned.

Alicia turned her attention to Alex avoiding Allison's questioning gaze. "Yes. He's back in the states for a few weeks. When he couldn't get a hold of me, he talked to Finn." She left it at that, moving to the floor to entertain her grandson while his mother finished getting dinner ready.

Will arrived soon after. Grasping her hand, he leaned in and lightly kissed her cheek. The scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh scent of someone who'd recently showered, instantly put her at ease. A sense of relief flooded over her at the thought.

- "Nothing seems to bring me any sense of safety or comfort these days." Alicia said, pacing the floor in front Laney.

"What things used to make you feel safety and comfort? Places, people, objects, smells?"

"Smells," Alicia questioned with raised brow.

"Yes. Smell is a humans most sensitive sense. It's the one most strongly linked to memory and feelings." –

Laney had urged her to pay attention to how she felt now when she smelt some of the things that had previously made her feel calm, loved, and safe.

She'd always loved the scent of Will's cologne, but she'd never paid much attention to how it made her feel. She had a greater appreciation for its calm and soothing effect. Add to that the memories of him stepping fresh out of a shower, wet hair, smelling of fresh soap, made her stomach fill with flutters. These were welcomed feelings after the past few days.

The early December evening was cool. She'd bundled up in coat, hat, scarf and gloves. But walking together down the street near the restaurant all lit up and decorated for the holidays was cozy. As they walked and talked, she barely noticed the cold.

The restaurant Will had chosen was a quaint Italian establishment with authentic pasta dishes and homemade bread. The waitress asked if they wanted to see a wine list. Will was about to decline, when Alicia said yes. After the waitress took their order and headed for the kitchen Will spoke up.

"I thought you weren't supposed to drink until you went off the strong medication?" He didn't want to tell her what to do, but he was concerned.

"I stopped taking it a few days ago. I don't want to get addicted the strong narcotics."

"But Leesh, just this morning you were telling me how much your body still aches sometimes."

She inhaled slowly to gather her thoughts and gently took hand across the table. "I've been out of the hospital for nearly three weeks now. The only real pain I feel now is in my ribs. Over the counter medication is enough to ease that pain. The other is all in my head."

She looked away. She really didn't want to discuss this at dinner, but she'd promised she'd be more open with him. Her gaze met his again. "I've had a hunch all week, but the therapist helped confirm it today. It's post traumatic stress. It comes on without warning. Sometimes my mind tricks my body into feeling like I did back on that boat. Talking through it today I realized the pain was central to the areas of my body that were injured the most."

He nodded in understanding. "I get it. I had some similar issues after the shooting."

"At least I know I'm not crazy." She managed a faint smile. "How long did your symptoms last?" It was a relief actually to know he understood.

"About six months. Every now and then if I hear a loud pop similar to gun shot, I'll still tense up. What did she recommend for treatment?"

"She prescribed me some anxiety medication and taught me some relaxation exercise to use when I start to feel the pain coming on."

"Good," he nodded his head. "You'll let me know what I can do to help?"

"Yes, we can discuss it more, but for right now I just want to enjoy dinner with you and talk about something besides my ongoing list of medical issues." Her lips curved upwards into a soft smile.

He squeezed her hand. "Okay. There is something I need to discuss with you. When Janie picked Chase up tonight she threatened me, and said I better have a plan in place for them to meet you by the end of the weekend or she'd never cook for me again."

Alicia laughed. "Clearly this was a sufficient threat?"

He sat back in his seat clasping his hands in his lap. "Well I should clarify. By cooking she means making me things like cinnamon rolls, and brownies."

"Ahh," she chuckled some more. "Maybe we could get together next weekend?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

The waitress appeared with their drinks. Alicia lifted the glass with the dark red liquid in it and was tempted to gulp the whole thing down. Oh how she had missed her wine the past few weeks. She caught Will's eye and knew immediately he could tell exactly what she was thinking.

She held the glass a few inches from her lips. "Yes, I'd like the whole bottle, but I'll stick to one glass tonight."

He nodded with a little laugh, taking a sip of his own drink.

He enjoyed the food from this place. It reminded him of traveling to Italy after graduation. He was pleasantly surprised at the amount of food Alicia ate. She hadn't eaten that much in weeks. He didn't know if it was a side effect of the therapy, or his excellent choice in restaurants, but he didn't care. Her appetite had been cause for concern lately.

After paying the bill, they walked back out into the street. "Do you want to walk for a while?" he asked, taking her hand.

"No. This was wonderful, Will, but I'd rather go back to your place for a while.

"Okay," he leaned over and kissed her forehead, before they headed back to the car.

She liked Will's open floor plan the kitchen, dining, and family room opened up into one large space at the rear of the house and was lined with windows. While he grabbed some sparkling water for them from the refrigerator, she studied the items on the bookshelves that lined both sides of the entertainment center. There were lots of books. Some photos of Chase, and baseball paraphernalia. Then her eyes landed on a photo of Chase and Will. It was still odd to think he was a father. She lifted the framed portrait off the shelf.

"This is a good picture of you and Chase," she commented, turning to face him.

He set the bottles of water on the coffee table and moved next to her. "That was taken last year after we won the championship game for his league."

"I'd like to see him play. Watch you coach. I'd like…" She shook her head and turned to face the large window behind her, leaving the photo in his hands.

The evening had been good, but Will had sensed something had been bothering her. He placed the frame back on the shelf and stood next to her gently placing his arm across her back.

"You've seemed a little distracted tonight. How was therapy?" They hadn't discussed it all evening except for the few minutes at the restaurant.

"Good. Helpful. Not what I expected. Meeting her at her home. Practically being her only client. I suspect it's similar to what you experienced with therapy after the shooting."

He nodded. "I suspect it is."

"We talked through some of the more difficult aspects of the abduction. That was…rough. It will be for a while."

He nodded affirmatively running his hand soothingly over her back.

"I appreciate you asking, but that's not what's been distracting me tonight." She stepped away from him starting to pace a bit rubbing her palms together.

She suddenly seemed a bit anxious, and he had no idea why.

"James sent me some flowers today." She stopped pacing and looked right at him.

This was the last thing he expected her to say and wondered where the conversation was headed.

His expression conveyed the anxiousness she felt. "It's not what you're thinking. He was just wishing me well. We still keep in touch. You know that. I'm not having second thoughts about us." She was relieved as the lines of tension in his forehead softened.

He stepped forward placing his hands on her arms. "I didn't think you were. Tell me what's bothering you."

"It got me thinking about how things were with him. About how after so many years everything in my life felt like it was back in order again. Normal, predictable, even simple. James and I had a good, healthy relationship. We went to work, came home to each other at night. Spent our weekends doing…normal things. I finally felt at peace again in my career, in life, in love. I miss it," she admitted honestly. "Now everything is…" She bit her lip and looked away from him.

"In flux again," he stated, finishing her sentence. He wasn't upset. He knew exactly what she meant because he felt the same way about his own life before they reconnected. Well, on everything except for the love part.

"Yes," she said. "I want to be in that place in my life again."

He reached for her hand. "I want that too. So, let's make a plan – now." He pulled on her arm to bring her closer to him. She looked down at their entwined hands.

"I'd like that. But first I have to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me." She wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Okay, anything," he said, reassuringly, lifting a gentle finger to her chin to force her gaze back to him.

"How are you handling all of this?"

He raised his brow in confusion.

"I realized today that I've been so wrapped up in my own mess that I haven't asked you how you felt. How…my abduction…the…rapes…have affected you? I'm horrible for not asking before now."

He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her even closer kissing her forehead. Then he looked into her eyes. "I've felt a lot of things over the past few weeks. Fear, anger, sorrow, worry." He led her to the couch.

"I'm fine for the most part. I was scared. Scared that I wouldn't be able to help, or that you wouldn't want me to help. Angry because of what they did to you. Helpless because I couldn't do anything to fix the wounds. My main concern is you. I just want you to be happy. I want you to feel safe again. I worry sometimes that what I have to offer won't be enough to make you feel those things again."

"Don't ever doubt your abilities, Will. I don't."

A little shy smile crept up on his lips. "You shouldn't doubt your abilities either, Leesh."

She sighed. "I'm working on it. But Will…what about…the…physical aspects of our relationship? Does it bother you that… Are you worried that I may not be able to… If this ends up being more difficult for me physically and emotionally, I don't want you to feel obligated to…" she couldn't find the right words. She was getting emotional. Talking to Will about intimacy in the past hadn't been a problem, despite their other communication issues. Now she couldn't even spit out a complete sentence.

"Alicia," he finally interrupted her rambling. "Let's get one thing straight right now. I haven't and will never think any less of you because of what happened. I'll never want you any less. Find you any less desirable because you were raped. You want to know how I'm handling that aspect things? All it makes me want to do is protect you." He smiled. "If we were doing things my way, I'd never let you out of my sight."

She smiled back at him. "That might be a little overkill."

"Yes," he admitted. "But it doesn't make me feel any less protective of you."

She nodded.

"This, us, it's not about the sex. I don't care how long it takes before you're comfortable with the idea again. I'm willing to do what ever you think is best. What ever makes you feel safe, and loved, and wanted. You just have to promise me one thing."

"What?"

"That you'll always be honest with me on this. If I push too hard, if I do something you're not comfortable with, you have to tell me."

"I can handle that."

"Good." He leaned in pressing his forehead to hers. "Is it all right if I kiss you?"

Her stomach fluttered again as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his in answer to the question. She wondered what he'd think if she told him how badly she'd wanted him physically a few times over the past weeks. In the back of her mind she still felt like it was a crime to even think that way after what had happened to her. The feelings were confusing because sometimes the physical urges were so strong it was almost scary. Yet, the anxiety that came over her when she thought about even being naked in front of someone again was almost overbearing. The thing that worried her the most when the physical urges for Will came on strong was that it was exactly that, all physical. There didn't seem to be any kind of emotion behind it. She definitely needed to discuss this with the therapist.

The remainder of the evening was simple and relaxed. Will pulled out some snacks for them to munch on while they talked, but then remembered he had mint chocolate chip ice cream in the back of the freezer. "I assume you still eat this stuff in the middle of the winter?"

She laughed moving to the barstool across the counter from him. "Yes, that's one bad habit from college I never broke."

He set two bowls on the counter and began scooping.

"Just one scoop for me," she said.

He put one scoop in each bowl and went for another. "You always want two," he protested. "And besides Chase isn't here so we don't have to set a good example. In fact, I think this calls for three scoops each."

She laughed as he scooped even more of the creamy mixture out of the container. "A little parental rebellion?" she said, raising her brow to him reaching for one of the bowls.

"Right!" He dropped the ice cream scoop in the sink.

They moved back to the couch propping their feet up on the coffee table. "First off, I think we need to discuss my job," she said, taking a scoop of ice cream into her mouth.

"I thought the plan was for you to work until the election next year."

She held the spoon in her mouth for a few seconds, then set it and her bowl on the coffee table. "I'm thinking of not going back." She clasped her hands together. "This whole experience has made me…rethink some of my decisions. The stress of my position, the cases, the bureaucratic headaches. Don't get me wrong. I've been bored out of my mind this week while everyone else goes about their daily routines. And I have loved parts of my job. But…everything would be easier if I was here. We could see each other regularly. No more time zone conflicts. I could spend more time getting to know Chase."

He'd sat quietly and listened pondering her words. "You're right everything would be easier. I'd love nothing more than to have you close all the time, but Leesh,"

He reached for her hand again. It felt warm and protected in his gentle embrace.

"You're at the top of your career. I can't even begin to imagine the sacrifices you made to get there. I don't want you giving that up for me. I'd never ask you to do that. We can make this work around your career."

She squeezed his hand. "I don't know if I want to go back, Will."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay, but I don't think you should make a permanent decision right now. Wait until you've fully recovered."

"Okay. Setting that aside, I think I should get my own place here. A small apartment. I'm recovering well. I don't really need anyone to look after me now. As much as I love Zach and Allison, I would really like my own space. It will give me a permanent place to be from now on. It will give Chase and I time to get to know each other without him wondering if I'm going to be invading his life permanently. And it'll gives you and I the opportunity to have a more realistic dating life."

"So, in other words your place will be our little love shack," he smirked with hopeful eyes.

She couldn't help but laugh, playfully slapping his arm. "That'll depend on how good you are to me," she teased back.

"It's a good idea. As much as I'd like to have you move in here, we should probably wait a while before making that kind of decision."

Their conversation continued easily. Will gave her some suggestions on good areas to look for housing. They discussed possible career options. She could easily get hired at any firm of her choice. She could continue working for the government in Portland. The third option they discussed as Will turned on some music in the background.

"You know, we could open our own small firm here," he said, moving to the oversized chair next to the couch.

"Is that an option for you?" They'd always talked about it in college. But with his current WITSEC situation she'd completely scratched the idea off the list. Of their current options this was definitely the most appealing to her. She missed prepping cases with him. She missed watching his legal mind at work.

"I think we could make it work. I could do corporate law. Those guys never see the inside of a courtroom. And I could still help with the criminal and civil cases. I have plenty ties into sports law now. I could probably bring in enough clients from that sector to keep me busy for quite some time."

He leaned forward clasping his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. "I miss being in court, Leesh. I'm thinking of dropping out of WITSEC."

Her eyes grew wide with fear, but he continued before she could respond.

"I wouldn't be doing it because of the job. That would be one reason, but there are several. I'll always need to proceed with some caution. Staying away from Chicago, not working on cases that might draw a lot of media attention. I'd keep my current name and credentials. But the reality is that unlike several people in my situation I don't think anyone is looking for me. I was a nobody to everyone in both Bishop and Gharaghty's operations except to them, and they're both dead. I doubt anyone else in their crews even remembers my name. Damian Boyle is the only one who would recognize me now, and he's in prison for the rest of his life."

She didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure what she thought about this.

"You don't like the idea?" he asked.

"I…haven't had enough time to process it yet. But I think the same guidelines need to be followed as with my career. We need to think about this, really think about it. Talk to Finn and get his opinion. I don't want you or Chase to be in danger. If that means remaining in WITSEC and taking precautions for the rest of our lives I don't care. I'll do it."

"Okay, thank you. I wanted you to know I was thinking about it."

The song playing in the background caught her attention. "Good playlist!" she said, moving to snuggle with him on the chair.

"Yeah," he said proudly, wrapping his arm around her. "It's a good mix of old and new. It drives Chase crazy. He's not a fan of any music that came out of the 90's."

"Really?" she smiled, resting her head against his shoulder.

Will shook his head. "I've tried to expose him to all kinds of music, but he claims he only likes the latest and greatest."

"He'll appreciate the exposure when he's older."

"I don't know. Sometimes it seems like an alien took over his body."

She laughed. "He's a teenager. Don't you remember how it was thinking your parents were the ones who were aliens with all their seemingly crazy ideas?"

"I try hard not to remember most of my teenage years. I was probably nothing but a constant worry for my mother."

"Maybe, but look, you turned out all right in the end."

"It took far too long to get my head screwed on straight. And even then she still worried about me all the time. She called me a few weeks before I got shot. She always asked the same questions. How was I? Was I dating anyone? Was I working too much? The answer to that question was always yes. Then we discussed the upcoming March madness tournament. She always made a point to talk sports with me because she knew that's what I loved." He pulled her into him more tightly. "She was always my biggest fan," he said, softly. "I never appreciated it. It drove me crazy the constant nagging about finding someone to marry and settle down with. That phone call was the last time I ever talked to her. Now I'd give almost anything to have that kind of conversation with her."

Alicia shifted so she could wrap her arm across his chest. "I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how difficult that is for you."

He softly kissed the top of her head and they listened to the music in silence for a few minutes.

They continued to talk making more plans for the future. They agreed to make a point of going out on an official date at least once a week. They discussed ways Alicia could build more of a relationship with Chase. She'd spend more time with he and Will doing everyday things. Coming over for dinner. Spending their weekends together. Alicia would be allowed to drive again in another week. So, she'd pick Chase and Brian up from school twice a week.

"Janie will be ecstatic," he said. "She gets home at five every night, but she's always worried they'll get into some kind of trouble after school."

"I haven't met Brian yet, but Chase doesn't seem the type to go running wild after school."

"He's not. Neither is Brian. It's just general mother hen worrying. We shared a nanny until school started this year. We decided the boys were old enough to take care of themselves for an hour or two after school. So far they've been responsible. But Janie still worries."

A few minutes later Alicia looked at her watch. "I didn't realize how late it was. It's been a good evening."

"It has." They stared at each other for a few silent moments.

"I should probably go soon," she said, breaking the silence.

"Stay," he said, with hopeful eyes. "Chase will be gone until tomorrow afternoon. Stay here with me. We can watch a movie. Sleep next to each other all night. It could be the normal kind of Friday night we've been talking about."

The idea was very appealing to her. "I don't have anything with me. Pajama's, a toothbrush."

"We'll improvise. I'm sure I can find you something to sleep in, and I keep extra toothbrushes upstairs."

A sly little grin formed on her lips. "For all the women you invite over?" she teased.

His cheeks flushed a bit as he laughed under his breath. "Chase is a little OCD on a few things. Changing out his toothbrush regularly is one of them. As far as the women go, you'll have the honor of being the first woman to ever sleep in this house."

Her jaw dropped, and he laughed some more.

"You're joking right?"

He moved out from under her and stood up. "No. The few somewhat serious girlfriends I've had since Chase came along never spent the night here. I didn't ever feel like the relationships were far enough along to expose Chase to that. On the rare occasion I did sleep with a woman it was always at her place."

She could still barely believe it. He'd rendered her speechless.

"Does this mean you'll stay?" he asked.

How could she deny him when he looked at her with a sparkle in his eye and a smile filled with mischievous hope. "Yes, I'll stay," she confirmed.

They both fell asleep snuggled together under a blanket during the movie. He woke up first and slowly tried to rouse her awake so they could go upstairs to bed.

Her eyes fluttered open. A sleepy looking Will stared back at her. She would have enjoyed the moment more if she'd woken up without the dull, numbing pain that had settled through her body.

"Lets go up to bed," he said, quietly.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Give me a minute."

"You're hurting again?"

The sound of his voice was soothing. "Yes. Normally I'd just try to sleep it off, but I want to see if some of the breathing exercises Laney taught me will help. Will you help me sit up?"

He shifted out from under her and gently helped her sit. To her surprise and relief twenty minutes later she was feeling much better than she'd expected. The pain wasn't gone but had eased to something much more tolerable.

After the last breathing exercise, she opened her eyes and looked at him sitting across from her on the floor. He looked worried and tired but sitting there with her for the past half hour doing everything he could to be helpful meant the world to her. Especially after the conversation they'd had the night before about trusting one another. It wasn't the easy things that made a relationship work. It was getting through the difficult things that formed a foundation for a lasting relationship to rest on. Sitting there staring at him in the quiet of the dimly lit room she realized she was beginning to trust him again.

As they lay in bed together, she rested her head on his shoulder. "You're really going to get an apartment here?" he asked, sleepily, tightening his grasp around her.

"Yes," she confirmed, with quiet enthusiasm.

"Good," he said, drifting off to sleep. "I like having you in the same city as me."

As she fell into sleep next to him, she finally felt like things were beginning to calm again. All the pieces in her world weren't spinning quite so fast. She still wondered if she'd ever feel safe again but being with him tonight at least gave her a little piece of mind. For right now that was worth it's weight in gold.