Chapter 26

The Battle of Camlann

Camelot had seen no reprieve after Sir Caradoc had been found dead, afflicted with the ragaid. Marian believed it was the beginning of the end for Arthur and Camelot, and the next few weeks had done nothing to alleviate her fears.

One of Camelot's bravest, Sir Mordred, had left the kingdom in anger and joined forces with Morgana. Though he had been raised as a druid, he had been knighted, becoming a trusted ally to the king. But Mordred's childhood sweetheart, Kara, had come to Camelot and had attempted to kill the king in the name of Morgana.

Arthur gave her a chance to renounce the evil witch, but Kara had been stubborn. Mordred begged the king for clemency, even going so far as to offer to leave Camelot with her, but the king rejected Mordred's offer. After an unsuccessful attempt to flee, he had been imprisoned, and Kara, who continued to refuse the mercy Arthur offered, had been executed. Unable to forgive the king, Mordred fled in the night.

The day after Sir Mordred fled, the replacement garrison left for Fort Stowell in the north of the kingdom. Gwaine had joined them to put some distance between himself and Marian. The tension and unrequited love between them had been too much for the knight.

A couple of weeks later, Merlin had been attacked by a gean canach, a strange creature that devours magic, leaving him powerless. Mordred had divulged Merlin's secret, that not only did he have magic but was also Morgana's archenemy, Emrys. Gaius had been sure that the attack on Merlin was Morgana's doing.

Merlin had been wandering around the chambers aimlessly, worried and agitated that his powers were gone when word came that the garrison stationed at Fort Stowell had been attacked by Saxons. Marian feared the worst as she and Merlin made their way to where the survivors were being housed. Even though they were no longer on speaking terms, Marian worried about Gwaine. She prayed to whatever god would listen that he was alive. Her relief when she saw him uninjured was brief.

Gwaine accompanied a beautiful young woman, Eira, who had also been injured in the attack. Gaius asked Merlin to tend to her injury, while he and Marian dealt with the wounded knights. After Marian had finished, her curiosity got the better of her, and she went to find Merlin… and the woman Gwaine had brought back with him.

Marian watched as Merlin bandaged Eira's leg, cautiously watching the knight at her side. The warlock wasn't too happy with Gwaine for moving on so quickly. He knew, beyond a doubt, that Gwaine and Marian were meant for each other.

Eira asked about her family and burst into tears when Gwaine told her that she was the sole survivor of her village.

Marian's breath caught as she watched Gwaine shower Eira with concerned attention. She saw the way he looked at her, his thumb caressing her hand in comfort. She listened as the knight lovingly assured the woman that she would be safe in Camelot. Once upon a time, that had been her hand in his. Once upon a time, it had been her face that sparked the joy in his eyes. But she had lost all of that.

Gwaine looked up at Marian and saw her watching his hands, a look of regret flashing over his face. Their eyes met briefly, and with tears stinging, she quickly turned and left without a word. She could no longer watch as the man she loved with her entire being, but could never have, fell for another. She cursed the day she came to Camelot and the day she had met Gwaine. She cursed her wretched heart for closing itself to him. Once she reached the corridor outside, she ran as far away as her feet would take her before collapsing on the stairs.

Percival saw Marian running through the castle and followed, concerned. He watched as she melted into tears. Though they had never spoken of it, Percival knew how much she cared for Gwaine. Practically everyone knew. He sat down beside her on the stairs and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she cried.

"Oh, Percival! What have I done? Why was I so blind?" she asked, sobbing. "I know that I said it would be better for him to move on, but I can't watch it happen. It's breaking my heart!"

It was usually Marian who would give counsel on matters of Percival's heart. She was the only person that he had ever told about his feelings for Elyan. She didn't bat an eye at the idea that a man could be in love with another man, and, convinced that Elyan felt the same way, encouraged Percival not to hide his feelings.

Though he didn't like the circumstance, he was glad that he could now offer counsel to her in return. "Sometimes," Percival began, "our hearts don't know what they want until they've lost it. I think that Gwaine will realize that a distraction won't heal his heart. Only you can."

She looked up at him and smiled softly. "Thank you, Percival. You're a lot wiser than you get credit for."

000

As the week wore on, depression hit Marian like a runaway carriage. Her shoulders sagged as she walked, and her smiles were rare. She was no longer the confident, happy woman everyone knew. Instead, she had become a shadow of herself. A shade. She wished the torment of her broken heart would just take her already. She wanted an end to the misery that she had inflicted on herself. Before she'd fallen in love, she would've scoffed at the idea that her happiness was dependent on one person. But then she had met Gwaine, and her heart was lost forever.

Merlin had come to her early one morning with a plan to regain his powers. He had promised not to keep anything from her after the incident with the Bendrui woman, and despite her depressed state, he still confided his fears. The timing of his loss was terrible, as the hour of Camelot's greatest need was upon them; when they would meet Morgana's army at Camlann.

The legends said that Camlann was where everything changed, where Arthur would meet his death at the hands of Mordred. Marian had warned Merlin and Gaius, but there was nothing they could do to stop it from happening, especially now that Merlin was powerless.

Though Marian had given up all hope, Merlin was determined to never give in. He told her that he planned to go where the magic of the world had been born, to the Crystal Cave. There, he believed, he could regain all of his powers.

She asked to go with him, but he had refused. Though he'd promised not to leave her behind her anymore, he told her that she should stay with Gaius to keep an eye on Arthur. She had protested, as he had no magic to defend himself, but he wouldn't relent. Instead, they compromised. Merlin asked one of his most trusted friends to accompany him. He asked Gwaine.

Against her better judgment, Marian looked for the knight to make sure he understood how important this mission was, that the future of Camelot depended on Merlin getting to the Crystal Cave safely. She would plead, rationalize, and argue with him… anything it took until he understood.

She and Gwaine hadn't spoken in earnest for weeks; she had followed his wishes to stay away. Though he had stopped pursuing her long ago, they had tried to remain as friends. But it seemed that he couldn't forgive her for playing with his heart, so he did the only thing he believed would help them to move on. He left.

Marian swallowed her pride and knocked on his chamber door. Gwaine opened the door wide, laughing, but sobered quickly when he saw that it was Marian. He moved to close the door halfway before she could see inside, but it was too late.

Marian looked from Eira, dressed only in her chemise, to Gwaine, his tunic unbelted and hanging loosely from his body, his feet bare. It didn't take long for Marian to figure out what she had interrupted. With wide eyes, she turned around and fled from his door without a word. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. It was her own fault that the woman was now in his bed, instead of her.

"Damn!" Gwaine swore under his breath as he shut the door and ran out into the corridor after her.

He turned the corner and saw her standing in the middle of the corridor, her head lowered and shoulders shaking. He had noticed how pitiful she was looking these past few days; that she didn't smile or laugh. He saw the dark circles under her eyes. He had also noticed how she had been keeping to the physician's chambers more and more ever since they had returned from the Dark Tower. His heart ached for her, but he knew there was nothing he could do to help her that wouldn't risk his own heart. And he couldn't go through that pain again.

"Marian," he called to her.

Rather than answering, she started forward to try to escape him. She didn't want his pity.

"Marian, wait!" he ran faster and caught her by her arm. "Look, I'm sorry—" he began.

"You don't owe me anything, Gwaine," she interrupted as she turned toward him.

Her eyes were red with tears. She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. I love you. Marian tore her arm from his grasp and turned to leave.

"I can't wait for you to suddenly decide I'm worthy of your love, Marian. It isn't fair," he called after her.

"I know," she answered pitifully.

"I waited five years for you only to tell me that it was hopeless."

She stopped and turned to face him. "I never asked you to wait, Gwaine," she told him sadly.

As she looked him up and down, at his rumpled clothes and bare feet, she grew angry. He was reckless, bedding a woman he barely knew. But a little bit of her was also upset that he had moved on, though that's exactly what she had asked of him.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I understand. A man has needs. He's got to get his rocks off every chance he gets," she said through clenched teeth. "I just didn't expect you to move so fast after just meeting her. I really hope you know what you're doing." She spun around and stomped off toward the end of the corridor.

It took Gwaine only a second to process what she had meant. He fumed at her accusation and followed her.

"I didn't bed her, Marian. Not that I need to explain myself to you," he bit out.

"Never said you did," she answered shortly.

"You don't get to dictate who I can be with, sweetheart. You've made it quite clear that you don't care for me."

Marian spun to face him, anger etched on her face. "When did I ever say that?"

"I gave you my heart, Marian. And you played with it like it was nothing. As if there were no consequences. I tried to be polite. I tried to be your friend, but nothing I do is right with you. You're cold and unfeeling. Like a cold, wet fish," Gwaine said as he stepped closer. "And as soon as I'm happy again, you come to me and twist the knife in just a little more."

Marian closed the space between them. She rose to her full height and jutted her chin out defensively.

"All I wanted to do, loverboy, was to ask that you take extra care today. To make sure that Merlin made it to the cave in one piece because the future of Camelot depends on him."

Gwaine looked at her, calm and calculating. "You know, you've told me before that Merlin is just a friend. How can I believe that when your only concern has ever been for him and no one else?"

"I'm concerned for others! I die every time you knights go out on a quest or to a battle. Yes, even you, you big dumb idiot! Especially you!" she yelled at him as fresh tears began to fall.

She was infuriated. She had nearly died saving Elyan. She had protected Gwaine more times than she could remember. She had even told him that she cared for him. And yet, he had the audacity to say to her that she didn't care for any of them.

"I care for you knights! I've mourned for those who've fallen! I've grieved with you! How dare you say I don't care!" She wiped her wet nose on her sleeve and continued. "I've done everything you asked of me. I've stayed away, ignored my friends, stuck to my duties all because you asked me to give you space. Regardless of my broken heart, I have always tried to make it easier on you, Gwaine."

She moved closer to him and stuck her finger into his chest, pushing him back slightly.

"And for your information, Merlin isn't the one I'm thinking of at night when I'm all alone in my bed. It's not his hand I long for instead of my own, nor is it his name I scream in pleasure. It's yours. It always has been. I'm not a cold fish, Gwaine. Unlike you, I just can't share myself with anyone."

He was struck dumb and angered by her words. Of course, she would wait until he tried to move on to tell him these things. For the first time, he couldn't read her face. He couldn't tell if she really meant what she said or if she was only saying it to hurt him, to string him along further.

She turned to leave, but he caught her by the arm. Gwaine pushed her back against the wall, standing mere inches from her and pinning her wrists to the wall above her head. Warm air tickled her skin as he breathed out slowly. Frustrated and conflicted by his feelings for her, Gwaine leaned closer, his nose rubbing against the side of hers.

Marian was irresistible to him. He had spent weeks away to try to get over her, but it hadn't worked. She'd become so ingrained in his being that he didn't think he could live without her. Sure, she was beautiful, desirable even. But he loved her for her mind, her goodness, her heart. He loved her soul.

As Gwaine brushed her lips lightly with his, Marian closed her eyes and returned his kiss. At the feeling of her supple, wet lips, something in him broke. Gwaine kissed her hard, bruising her. He pinned her against the wall with his body as he deepened their kiss, his knee parting her legs. He was angry at her and at himself. All of his anger came out as need and desire for the woman before him. He let go of her wrists and reached behind her, roughly grabbing her backside and pulling her hips into his.

She grabbed his tunic and pulled him harder against her. Her anger was just as fierce as his and her desire as intense. She lifted the hem of his tunic and ran her hands over his sides and back, digging her nails painfully into his skin.

He gathered her skirts in his hand, pulling them up to reveal her legs. Grabbing the smooth flesh and parting her legs further, he pulled her closer, lifting her against the wall. He held her up, his hands on her backside, as she wrapped her legs around him.

Gwaine let go of her mouth and nibbled down her neck. When he reached the soft skin at her shoulder, he bit down hard, thrusting his hips into her and pushing her skirts further up her thighs.

Marian moaned loudly at the pain. She delved her hands into his hair, and violently pulled his head up, crashing her mouth onto his. She bit his lower lip, tasting a hint of blood. The low, guttural growl that came from him as he pushed his arousal against her sex only spurred her on. She tightened her thighs around him and rocked her hips against his erection.

"Fuck. Oh, fuck. Marian…" Gwaine moaned huskily against her mouth.

The shock of hearing the vulgar word, her word, coming from the noble knight, pulled her out of her frenzy. She remembered how she had found him earlier, Eira in his bed and his clothing rumpled and coming undone, and she turned her head away from him, breaking their kiss. Tears found their way out from beneath her lashes. She put her feet on the floor, her skirts falling back into place, and gently pushed him away.

She had lost him. He wasn't hers to love anymore.

Gwaine studied her face in confusion. Here he was trying to bed Marian when less than an hour ago, he was wooing another woman in his chambers. Hurt, embarrassed, and ashamed, he stupidly lashed out.

"Well, you had better be careful with Merlin, sweetheart. I doubt he likes cold fish for his supper."

Incensed by his insinuation, Marian slapped his face and walked away.

000

Merlin and Gwaine left the city not long after Gwaine's fight with Marian. They had abandoned their horses and made their way to the Valley of the Fallen Kings on foot. From there, Merlin would find the Crystal Cave, the place where he hoped to regain his magic.

"Thanks for everything that you did for Eira," Gwaine said to Merlin as they walked through the forest.

"There's no need to thank me, it was the least I could do. And you seem to care for her," Merlin said. He knew that his friend had been suffering from a broken heart. While he was glad that the knight had found some happiness, Merlin was disappointed that it wasn't with Marian.

"Well, I could hardly leave her to the Saxons now, could I?" Gwaine chuckled.

Merlin looked sideways at his friend. "Was that your only reason for rescuing her?" he asked, suspicious of Gwaine's motives. He wondered if maybe his friend was trying to punish Marian. He wasn't subtle about his new relationship, and it had caused another rift between Marian and the knight.

"Of course," Gwaine replied. He knew that she was just a pretty distraction from his broken heart. He knew it was wrong, but a small, uncharitable part of him was getting pleasure from seeing Marian as unhappy as he was.

As Gwaine was lost in his thoughts, a couple of bandits jumped through the brush and attacked. He drew his sword and fought off one of the bandits, quickly killing him.

The other bandit lunged for Merlin, who had no weapon and no magic to defend himself. The warlock tripped and fell backward, and the bandit lifted his sword to stab him.

"Gwaine!" Merlin screamed fearfully.

Gwaine came up behind the bandit and ran him through. After he sheathed his sword, he offered Merlin his hand and helped him stand. "You okay?" the knight asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you," Merlin replied.

Gwaine chuckled. "No need to thank me, Merlin. It was the least I could do."

As they continued toward the valley, Merlin thought about his future and what little of it might be left. He fully expected to die for Arthur in the battle at Camlann. Merlin always knew it was his destiny to save the king and bring about Albion. He had just hoped that he would have more time to do it.

He would miss his friends. Gaius and Marian would be especially heartbroken, but that wasn't anything that could be helped. Merlin realized that he could give Marian one last gift; he could talk some sense into Gwaine and maybe give her some hope of a reconciliation.

"You know," Merlin began, "I always thought you would end up with Marian." It was a risky move, but he had nothing to lose.

"Yeah, well, sometimes things don't turn out the way you want," Gwaine replied absent-mindedly, continuing on the path. He really didn't want to talk about his broken heart with Merlin.

"Eira's nice and all, but Marian is your match, Gwaine."

"Merlin, is there a point to all of this?" he asked, irritated.

"I'm just saying you were meant for each other, is all," Merlin replied.

Gwaine gave Merlin a sharp look. "Well, the lady certainly didn't think so," he bit out.

"Gwaine, I know she broke your heart, but she really does love you," he tried. Gwaine looked at him skeptically. "I'm serious. No one has ever caught her attention like you did. I've known her for a long time, and she has never expressed interest in anyone except you."

"Then tell me, Merlin, why she pushed me away if she loves me so much? No, she played me for a fool."

Merlin thought for a moment and then continued. "The thing about Marian is that she's incredibly stubborn." Gwaine chuckled with Merlin, both having been on the receiving end of her stubbornness before. "If she thinks she's saving you from a worse heartache, then nothing will change her mind."

"Worse? What can be worse than giving your heart to the woman you love, and she rejects you?" Gwaine asked him.

"It's not my story to tell. But I will say this. She thinks she's saving you from the only thing she's ever been afraid of," Merlin told him.

"Yeah? And what's that?" Gwaine asked, flipping his hair from his face and looking at the young warlock.

"Loss."

Merlin walked ahead, hoping that would give Gwaine something to think about.

They had finally reached the mouth of the Crystal Cave. Merlin turned to Gwaine. "I can make my own way from here," he said.

"Sorry?" Gwaine asked, confused.

"You needn't come any further. I'll be fine," Merlin stated. He needed to regain his magic on his own. He regretted that he couldn't be candid with Gwaine, but the less the knight knew about Merlin's powers, the safer he'd be.

"How will you get back to Camelot? There are bandits everywhere," Gwaine tried to reason with him.

"Once I have what I'm looking for, I'll be perfectly safe, I promise you," Merlin reassured his friend.

"What are you looking for?"

"I can't tell you that, Gwaine. You just have to trust me. You should get going; Arthur will need you by his side."

Gwaine looked around in disbelief. Merlin had always been scrappy, but he was afraid that his young friend would find himself in trouble. He had always trusted Merlin, though, and now was no exception, so he agreed to go. He held his sword out to him.

"Look after yourself, Merlin," he said. As Merlin grabbed the hilt, Gwaine added, "You know to use the sharp end, right?"

Merlin laughed. "Yeah."

"I hope you find what you're looking for," Gwaine said as they grasped arms in goodbye.

As Gwaine turned to leave, Merlin called out. "Gwaine?" The knight looked back at him. "Think about what I said about Marian. She loves you more than you know."

Gwaine nodded and left Merlin at the cave's entrance.

000

Marian had ridden with Gaius to Camlann. Preparing for the upcoming battle, they set up a hospital tent on higher ground, away from the battlefield. She had promised Merlin that she would look after the king, but in truth, she didn't want to stay in Camelot while Gwaine's new lover was there. Marian tried not to hate the woman, it wasn't her fault after all, but she failed miserably. The last thing she wanted was to have a confrontation with Eira and risk Gwaine's ire.

Arthur ordered his men to get some rest, the plan was to wait to attack until the morning.

Unable to sleep, Marian, walked out of the hospital tent to one of the fire pits outside. She sat on a log next to the pit and stared into the dancing flames. This was the battle she had feared since coming to Camelot. She wasn't powerful, nor could she fight trained soldiers. Her only contribution would be to patch up anyone who had been injured in battle. She didn't feel like this was enough, though. If only she had kept up her training, she would be able to fight by Arthur's side. Instead, she was stuck on the sidelines, and it frustrated her.

She also feared she would lose some of her good friends in the battle. She couldn't protect the knights just like she couldn't protect Arthur. Her dreams had shown her both Arthur and Gwaine's deaths. Often her dreams meant nothing, but what if they really were cut down? What if Gwaine was killed in battle and their last words had been spoken in anger?

Marian slid down to the ground and hugged her knees. She lowered her head, hiding her face from the warmth of the fire. Wallowing in regret, Marian sat there for a long time before she felt the presence of another beside her.

She lifted her head and saw that Gwaine was sitting next to her, staring down at his feet.

"Marian," he started.

"I don't want to argue," she interrupted him.

He sighed. She wasn't going to make this easy for him. "Neither do I," he admitted. "But… I need you to grant me a favor."

She looked up at him and seeing the despair in his eyes, she nodded for him to continue.

"If the battle goes wrong, promise me you will run away. Don't try to be a hero. Go back to Camelot, find someone to love, and make a dozen babies. Just don't stay here and be killed," he begged.

She didn't know what to say. It wasn't what she had expected from him. She thought he'd say something to rile her up, not plead with her to save her own life. Her heart was breaking. There was much she had left unsaid.

Marian turned back to the fire. "How can I?" she asked him. I love you. "How can I go on without you, Gwaine? Without you… I… I can't… exist."

Gwaine crouched in front of her as he brushed her hair back, cupping her face in his hands.

"You must live, Marian. I can fight in battle, and I can die happy knowing that you will live. Please, do this one last thing for me, sweetheart? Please?" he asked in desperation.

"I will," she told him. "For you."

Gwaine breathed a sigh of relief and smiled gently at her. He stared at her a moment longer before leaning over and tenderly kissing her lips. When he pulled back, he got up and went back to his tent.

Marian watched his retreating form as her eyes filled with tears. I love you.

000

After only a couple of hours, Arthur emerged from his tent in a panic. He had dreamt of Merlin, that he was sending him a warning. It had felt so real. Merlin told him that Morgana was planning to ambush them that night. Rather than risk it, he gathered his army. Percival and Gwaine were ordered to take several knights and go around behind the encampment to a secret hidden path. The rest were to face Morgana and her Saxons head-on.

Marian stationed herself in the hospital tent with Gaius and Gwen. Gwaine had made her promise to flee if things turned badly, but she was confident that Merlin had been successful in regaining his powers. If possible, she would stay to the very end.

The dream had been correct, and the battle began. All too quickly, the hospital tent began to fill up. Marian treated all sorts of wounds from deep cuts to heavy bruising to broken bones. She was able to handle most of the wounded and send them back into battle. Only a few succumbed to their injuries.

The tent was breached by the battle a couple of times by knights and Saxons. During one of the breaches, Gwen had been able to save the knight by stabbing the Saxon in the back before he could deliver a deadly blow.

Another time, though, Marian hadn't been so lucky. Gaius and Gwen had been called out to help a knight who had been stabbed in the leg, so she was alone in the tent when another knight and Saxon fell through the door flap, locked in battle.

She moved in front of her patient as the Saxon swung his sword low and cut his foe down. Still high in his bloodlust, he looked around for more knights. He saw Marian standing in front of the other injured knight and rushed her. Elbowing her in the face, he knocked her to the ground and stabbed her patient, killing him instantly.

Marian screamed in anger as the Saxon turned back to her. She scrambled toward her fallen patient and quickly grabbed his abandoned sword, standing. She held the weapon in front of her, mimicking the stance she had seen the other knights take so often. Her foe wasn't intimidated by her in the least. Instead, he stood there laughing at her.

It had been too long since she had practiced her swordplay, and it showed. The Saxon man was at least a foot taller than she was, and his muscled arms brought his sword down forcefully against hers, her arms aching with effort as she blocked. He came closer to her and pressed harder into her sword, pushing her back against one of the tables and bending her backward.

Remembering her lessons from Gwaine, Marian used every advantage she had and anticipated his every move. She distracted the Saxon, and then kicked up with her foot, landing in his most sensitive spot. The man stumbled back and howled in pain. She had laid a hand on the table behind her to steady herself when she felt several tools. She had forgotten that she had emptied Gaius's medical bag earlier.

Her left hand blindly searched for the cutting knife she knew would be there. Her foe recovered quickly and moved closer to her, with his sword pointed at her chest. She deflected his attack, sliding her blade on his, catching his sword with her hilt, and she plunged the knife into his gut. His face held a look of surprise as he fell to the ground, dead.

She panted, exhausted from the battle, and tried not to think about what she had just done, about the dead man at her feet. She had to rely on her adrenaline to keep her from vomiting.

A sharp sting on her upper arm alerted her to a cut she didn't even know she had. Marian found a long strip of cloth and tied a bandage around her arm as best she could.

A commotion outside caught her attention, and she ran out of the tent. Standing beside Gaius and Gwen, she watched as a silhouetted figure stood on a cliff above the action and commanded the elements. Lightning rained down on the battle below, felling nearly all of the Saxons. Marian grinned. Merlin had regained his powers after all.

Gwen turned to Gaius in awe. "Who is that?" she asked him.

"Someone truly remarkable," the physician replied.

"You know him?" Gwen asked, startled.

"Let's just say he deserves our gratitude," Gaius replied.

000

At first daylight, with the battle won, the Saxons retreated. No one had seen the king or Gaius since the battle. The physician had gone down to the battlefield to look for Arthur and other survivors, but with no luck. The men who had fallen in battle died on the field. And now both Arthur and the physician were nowhere to be found.

Marian walked across the battlefield, looking at the faces of so many of the men she had known. She said a silent prayer for each one that had fallen as she searched for any sign of her friends. Leon and Elyan had found Gwen after the Saxons retreated, but Marian hadn't seen Gwaine or Percival since before the battle. She prayed that they had survived. Marian didn't know what she would do if either were dead, especially Gwaine.

She returned to the hospital tent to let Gwen know that she hadn't found any survivors. When she walked through the flap, she almost ran into Percival, who was going outside. He laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, happy that she had made it through the battle.

When he moved to the side, Marian saw Gwaine sitting in the back of the tent, his armor removed. Gwen was wrapping his arm with a small bandage as he told her that Mordred was dead. He stopped midsentence when he saw Marian.

She had a black eye, and her arm had been bandaged. Her brow was shining with sweat, and dirt dotted her dress. Her hair had escaped its short braid and stuck out at odd angles, making her look almost feral. But most importantly, she was alive. He hadn't realized how scared he had been for her until that moment.

She raised her hands to her mouth and choked on a sob as her eyes met his, relief flooding her. Gwaine stood and walked quickly over to her, gathering her into his arms. Marian held him tight as she returned his embrace. Her bravado finally cracked as she let her tears fall. I love you. The tension from the last few weeks was forgotten as they held onto each other. Nothing else in the world mattered at this moment.