Sorry for the short chapter. I will say it is because a lemon is coming up, and I didn't want to break it up. Hopefully you can still enjoy this chapter. Also, I have posted up a new story called Safe Haven. It is a Miroku and Kagome Pairing, and one of my favorites if I were to be honest. Head on over and check it out. Let me know what you think. I need your reviews, as they motivate me. Enjoy.
Chapter 40
Kikyou grumbled, hating that she was sitting on the side of the street selling tea. This was Naraku's diabolical plan. She had asked what purpose this would serve but had received no answer. He just told her that this was a means to an end.
So now she was stuck out here, trying to sell to people that had no interest in her tea. Besides, it's not like Kagome would buy anything from Kikyou. Kagome couldn't stand Kikyou, and the feeling was mutual. Kikyou was ready for Kagome to die.
When Kagome was out of the way, she could finally get her hands on Touga. She still longed for the male, even after he had threatened her. Kagome was the reason Touga had turned against Kikyou, so once Kagome was gone and out of the picture, Touga would finally look towards Kikyou. It was just a matter of time now.
Kikyou scowled, trying to hunker down as she realized someone, she didn't want to see was walking her way. It was Sesshomaru, his little mate on his arm. He hadn't noticed Kikyou yet, and that was to the relief of the woman. The last thing she needed to happen was be caught.
If she went back with ruined plans, Naraku would kill her like he killed Kouga. She had to stay useful, or she would be tossed away. Right now, Naraku was funding everything for her. The last thing she wanted was to end up on the street. Kikyou looked over her stand, trying to catch sight of Sesshomaru. When she didn't see him, she sighed in relief and sat up.
"Do you have any tea that helps with stress?" The moment Kikyou saw Rin smiling at her, she nearly tucked tail and ran. However, Sesshomaru wasn't there, and that meant she was safe. At least for now.
"Are you stressed out?" Kikyou's goal was to get the tea to Kagome. Somehow, she needed to get the special tea Naraku had to the woman that she couldn't get anywhere near.
"No. But my friend is. She has something going on that is bothering her, and I wanted to help her somehow." Rin was looking over the tea's, reading their labels to find the one she was looking for. "I thought maybe we could talk over a cup of tea."
"I see. You know that she is upset, yet she hadn't come to you about it yet? She doesn't seem like a very good friend." Kikyou scoffed, grabbing the tea that helped with nerves.
"That's just how Kagome is. She doesn't like to burden people with her problems, so she keeps them bottled up until she can't anymore." Rin didn't notice the way Kikyou's hand paused as she was about to place the tea in a bag.
"I see. Well, this tea should help marvelously. One cup alone should do the trick." Kikyou had no idea what the tea did, but Naraku had said it was potent. Intentionally dropping the tea bags to the ground, Kikyou apologized and bent to pick it up. When Rin couldn't see, she slipped the true tea into the bag, and handed it over to Rin. "I'll even give you this tea. All I ask is that you tell your friends about me if it works."
"Thank you so much!" Rin took the bag, and then ran off, going inside a store where Sesshomaru must have been. The moment Rin was out of sight, Kikyou closed down the stand, and hurried away. She didn't want to get caught by Sesshomaru after getting such a lucky break. It was a good thing Rin had no idea who Kikyou was, or that could have ended differently all together.
…
Kagome sighed, rolling onto her stomach. She hugged the pillow to her, burying her face into it. She had just finished talking with Rin. The problems she and Touga had been having were starting to overwhelm her, and after a cup of tea and some girl time, Kagome felt better.
Still, she had come to an uncomfortable decision. Mostly because she had decided to confront Touga. This rift between them had been going on far too long, and it was time to put an end to it. Their relationship wasn't working the way it had been going lately.
"Kagome?" Touga closed the bedroom door behind him, setting his keys on the dresser. She rolled over on the bed, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.
"I think we need to talk." He looked at her, eyes wide as she bit at her lip. She hated how he looked scared all of a sudden, and she knew she wasn't helping matters either. This conversation they were about to have could end in another fight.
"Okay." Touga loosened his tie, throwing it on the desk and then looked back to her. Making his way to the bed, he sat down, kicking off his shoes as he did. "What is it you wanted to discuss?"
His voice was tight with emotion, and she sighed. "A baby." He tensed, and she blinked, realizing that came out all wrong. "I mean, I want to talk about why you don't want to have a baby."
"I told you Kagome, I have enough. Sesshomaru and Inu-"
"That is what upsets me the most!" Kagome interrupted him, blinking rapidly to keep herself from crying all ready. "We promised each other no more secrets. When you found out I was the Shikon Miko, you felt betrayed because I hadn't told you. Now your doing the same thing to me."
"Kagome." Touga closed his eyes, rubbing them with his hand. "I should have told you long ago how I felt about future children. I am sorry. I am, Kagome. I was just so… happy to be with you, that it slipped my mind. It's a poor excuse I know, but it is the truth."
"You should have told. I won't argue with that, but it would have ended the same, even if you told me before we mated and married." She scooted closer to him, making him look at her. "The problem is the fact that you lied to me. None of this has anything to do with the fact that you already have two children. The problem is that izayoi and your daughter died."
"Don't." Touga was begging her, pleading not to make him think on the family he lost.
"I am." Reaching out, she grabbed his hand, trying to comfort him. "I understand that it is hard to talk about them. I even understand id you still love her." The truth was, Kagome had started to suspect that she was just someone to fill the void that Izayoi left behind. It hurt, but she loved Touga enough to be what he needed. "I know I will never match up to her, and that is okay. I still love you, but please don't lie to me when it comes to things like this. Talk to me, Touga, and I will help you as much as I can."
"What do you mean you will never match up to her? Kagome, you are more than she ever was. You are my mate, the match to my soul." His heart broke as he realized his actions had caused Kagome to doubt herself. She knew all along that his refusal to have children had to do with losing Izayoi. Her mind worked with that information the only way it could, and that meant she thought she was inferior to the women he seemingly couldn't let go of.
He needed to fix this mess once and for all. "Damn it, Kagome. I have told you before to stop thinking so low of yourself. Yes, I do not what to have children because Izayoi and my daughter died. I will not deny it. However, it is not the loss of Izayoi that spurs me, but the potential loss of you. If I lost you… the pain would be far superior to that of when I lost my first wives combined."
Kagome blinked up at him, her heart suddenly feeling lighter. He did mean it. He wasn't thinking of Izayoi and when she died, but more so of what would happen if Kagome died. "So, you are worried about me? I am sorry for what happened to Izayoi, Touga. And your daughter. I couldn't imagine. However, I am not Izayoi. Just because she died, doesn't mean I would."
"I know." Touga leaned back on the bed, covering his eyes with an arm. "I know every woman experiences pregnancy and birth differently. Sesshomaru's birth was so quick we barely had time to prepare, and Izayoi…" He swallowed, moving his arm so he could look at Kagome. "There is a chance you would be fine. Just as there is a chance you would not be. It is not a chance I al willing to take."
"Your looking at the bad. What about the good? What about the moment you get to finally meet your baby? Or watching them grow. You get that with InuYasha. You had it with Sesshomaru. I want that to. Yes, I consider InuYasha mine, but I want to start from the beginning as well." Kagome moved closer to Touga, looking into his troubled eyes.
"Your wanting a baby now? This badly?" He almost looked like he was thinking about it, but then he shook his head. He lifted his hand, cupping her face. "What if I were to lose you Kagome. I wouldn't survive it. If you died, and our child survive, it would be left to Sesshomaru to raise, because I cannot live without you."
"Touga…" Kagome closed her eyes, turning her cheek into Touga's hand and kissing his palm. "Look. I am not saying I want a baby right now this minute. I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I am okay with spending some one on one time with you as well. I am just saying, that sometime in the future, I would like to have a baby with you."
"I'll think about it." She smiled at that one sentence, and he knew he really would. She was so happy that he just agreed to think about it that if he had agreed, he was sure she would have started dancing. "In the future, ask me again. Just not now."
"I can live with that?" Kagome pulled his fingers to her mouth, kissing the tips of each one. "And remember, no more secrets. If something is upsetting you, I want you to be able to come with me. I don't like the strain we have been under these past few weeks."
"I agree. So now more secrets, and we talk to each other when we are having problems." Touga smiled then, tangling is hands in Kagome's hair. He pulled her down, so her lips were hovering inches from his. "Now, I would really enjoy making up with you."
"I bet you would." Kagome laughed, leaning over him farther. She smiled as she kissed him, glad they had finally worked out the tension that had been between them. They could return to the way they were before, but this time much stronger than they ever had been.
