This chapter is NSFW.
The Day Off
Ienzo was elbow-deep in the final climactic battle of Shadow of the Morning Star. With all his other work, it had taken months to finish this series, to pull the final volume. The author was not exactly… concise.
He'd missed fiction like this-his first true love. There had been days and days of his childhood spent hiding, camped out somewhere desperately trying to finish a book before he was called away to his studies, chores, or missions. To be able to enjoy something of his own volition was a freedom he was still getting used to. Carving out time for himself was difficult, but necessary, and he truly did think his mental health was better for it.
He heard a sharp snap, a discordant twang, from the other end of the room. "Ah, fuck. Oh, god damn it."
Ienzo sighed. "Are you alright over there?"
Demyx sucked on a small cut on his finger. "Broke a string. I was this close to finishing this piece of shit, too."
"Demyx."
"Fine, I know, it's not a piece of shit."
"Won't it fix itself?" The words pulled him back, hypnotically. Demyx usually always curated his practice to be either something easy to tune out or listen to when Ienzo read in the same room as him; but without Arpeggio he wouldn't have a way to occupy himself.
Which meant Ienzo couldn't finish his book, which was a bad thing. "It'll take a few hours," Demyx said. "It gets pissed off." He always spoke about Arpeggio like it had feelings. He got up and flopped onto the bed next to Ienzo.
"I'm about twenty pages from finishing this series," he said, knowing all too well where this was going. "Please occupy yourself until then."
Demyx huffed, but pulled out his phone and fussed with it.
He drank in the words eagerly. The ending of this story was one of his favorites, because it didn't tie up so neatly the way things were wont to in fantasy. It was realistic, or at the very least believable. He felt himself getting choked up and held the book for a moment after he finished it, his eyes shut tight.
"Good book?" Demyx asked.
"Good series."
"I would hope so-it's only eleven billion volumes long." He smiled a little. "They got their happily ever after?"
"No. That's what I like about it. Things are still messy-but it's cathartic. They all had to earn where they ended up. Rather than, you know, the typical ending of such fantasies." He lay down, savoring it.
"Like us," Demyx said.
"Well, we don't get an ending-aside from death."
"That's deep."
He rolled his eyes. "It's true. Our lives are not contained so neatly. They just are . Here it is. Go." He gestured vaguely. "Figure out a way to fill the next sixty years."
"You will."
"I know I will."
Demyx squeezed his hand. "You're going to be fine."
"I'm afraid my existential dread is not very attractive."
"I think you're pretty okay. Cuddle with me?"
Ienzo acquiesced and felt himself being pulled close. He breathed Demyx's smell, soap and shaving cream and something gingery. He pushed hard against the anxiety. He heard a soft whump as Beans jumped up to join them. The arms around him helped. It almost always took work to pull himself back into his body, away from the internal, the intellectual. He rested his face against the crook of Demyx's shoulder and felt him rub small circles into his back.
They'd lived together for a few months now, but it was still something of a shock to know they could just exist in the same space. He was so accustomed to any touch immediately leading to the next thing, in the hurry to finish making love before being caught, or pulled away. Perhaps it was this thought, but the air seemed to shift a little, and Ienzo leaned over to kiss him. Demyx responded gently before breaking it off. "So, question."
"So, answer."
"Do you want to just make out for a while?"
"...I would like that very much."
So for a while they did just that, all slowness, no end goal in sight, a mere desire for one another's company. Time seemed to become nebulous, the fizz of his anxiety being replaced by a sort of thoughtlessness. Demyx's hands tangled in his hair; Ienzo wrapped a leg around his waist, a motion he wasn't conscious of until it had already happened. Demyx rolled over and brought Ienzo on top of him. The cat, at this shift, darted over to an unoccupied corner of the bed.
Demyx laughed a little. "Beans is sick of our shit."
"Can you blame her? She hardly gets a moment of peace." There was a moment where they just looked at one another before Ienzo finally caved and kissed him again.
This was probably what most people went through; an aimless exploration of one another, rather than going straight for the jugular, as it were. It was almost as if his body wasn't sure what to do. He felt Demyx's hand slide down his back to cup his ass, bringing with it a row of goosebumps. Ienzo pressed a little harder against him and was able to tell instantly he wasn't the only one feeling this. It was a little uncomfortable, with clothing, but grinding up against one another was the most promising sensation yet. He heard Demyx gasp a little in response and felt his tongue sliding into Ienzo's mouth.
This should feel strange, right? But it didn't. He found himself becoming increasingly focused on the point where they were connected, rather than the rest of it, the air shifting, becoming rawer. Already he could almost sense the pit of tension in the pit of his stomach.
"Ienzo?"
He opened his eyes. "What?" He sounded breathy, a mess.
His face was flushed. "I'm dying here."
He fought for breath. "We're on the same page."
When they kissed this time it was with more heat than before. He fumbled for the hem of Demyx's shirt, undid the buttons of his own with shaking fingers, pulling it all off. He pressed his lips against Demyx's scars and heard him stifle a moan. "Pants," he said instead.
"Right-ah-I'm distracted."
He hummed instead, helping Ienzo out of his slacks and underwear. The buttons of Demyx's suddenly seemed complicated, but finally he got it all off. Demyx kissed at his throat, running his tongue along the scar, and for a moment Ienzo thought he might faint; it was much harder to support himself, elbows trembling.
How odd-and delicious-to just give control over to his body. In it, the barest flash of an idea. "So, I, um."
He touched Ienzo's cheek, his eyes full of such softness. "What?"
"Could I try something?"
He blushed further. "Like what?"
Ienzo was struggling for breath. He gripped at the sheets. "I want to… go down on you. It's not fair for me not to-"
"I don't care about that-"
"I want to. I mean I really want to…"
He chuckled a little. "Okay."
He nodded. His skin practically felt like it was buzzing. Ienzo kissed him once on the mouth before returning to the scars, lowering bit by bit, feeling both not in his body and yet so present. He took Demyx's dick into his hand and stroked it, the soft noise he made only heightening the tension inside Ienzo.
"Not too much," he said, almost through his teeth.
He settled down between his thighs, trying to quiet the trembling of his hands. He focused instead on the skin of his legs, the soft defined muscle, the fact that he was privileged enough to be able to touch it, kiss it. After a moment of struggling to gather his nerve, Ienzo took the tip of his dick into his mouth.
Demyx had been right about one thing; it didn't feel nearly as strange as Ienzo had thought, was actually a somewhat natural feeling, only helped by Demyx's sharp gasp and his own almost dangerous arousal. Demyx grasped at his shoulders, his hair. He tried to remember how it felt to have it done, to copy what had been best. He was a bit clumsy, he was sure, and at times it was hard to breathe. He was taken aback by how good it felt for him ; shockingly intimate, and seeing Demyx unraveling in a way he'd never before seen only heightened his own arousal. He wondered if it were possible to spontaneously combust, and if he were rapidly getting to that point.
"Fuck," he heard, and broke away.
"Are you alrig-"
"Please don't stop."
He smiled. "So polite." And returned to what he had been doing. He could feel Demyx's hips arching a little. He ran his tongue along the tip of it and felt the grip on his shoulder tighten substantially.
"Wait," Demyx said hoarsely. Ienzo understood and pulled away, taking his dick back in his hand. He barely touched Demyx before he felt him come, caving at last, breathing hard in a vaguely gaspy way.
His own arousal was all the more noticeable, sharpening into an ache. His hands were shaking.
"Come here," Demyx said, still breathless. "Lay down."
He settled back by the headboard, his pulse racing. Demyx kissed his cheek, his throat, but perhaps he sensed Ienzo's own urgency because he didn't linger much, stroking his dick only once or twice before going down on him as well. "This probably won't take long," he said, mostly as a warning. The rest of his focus was displaced. He grasped at Demyx's hands, needing something concrete to hold onto, to try to enjoy this for as long as possible.
If anything, he'd only gotten better with practice, his tongue finding the most sensitive parts with precision. For a moment Ienzo could actually feel tears in his eyes. This was all rapidly becoming too much, a creep of overstimulation only heightening his need. He tried to restrain himself, to keep control, but it was quickly slipping away from him.
Demyx broke away, almost causing him to completely lose his mind. "It's okay," he said. "You can… go ahead and… do it inside me."
It took effort to speak. "You sure?"
"I like it," he admitted.
He could process it later; right now he just needed relief. Demyx took him again, and Ienzo felt the knot of tension tightening painfully. The second he tried to relax a little it was happening, undoing him completely, the sweet shock of it pushing him completely into silence, into an overstimulation that actually reduced him to tears, a pleasure so intense he was raw.
Demyx wiped at his mouth. "Babe? You alright?"
He nodded. He sat up a little, trying to quiet the tremors that had overtaken him.
"...You're crying."
He didn't trust his hands enough to text.
He scootched over to him and squeezed his hand. "Was it too much?"
He nodded, holding his fingers slightly apart to indicate "a little."
"I'm sorry-"
Ienzo shook his head.
"Did you like it?"
He nodded again.
"I know you're not used to… going at it for so long."
He felt his face flush with embarrassment.
"I should've realized-"
Ienzo pressed a finger to Demyx's lips.
He blushed as well. "You did really good. I mean. You did well." He bit his lip. "Can I hold you? Or is it too-"
He considered. His eyes were still watering. But stability might help. He nodded once. They settled back against the sheets. Ienzo could taste salt-from his tears, from Demyx.
He laughed a little, an awkward sound. "Can't believe I made you come so hard you cried."
He scoffed.
Demyx kissed his forehead, chucked him under the chin. "Just relax for a little while. Pull yourself together. God, I'm still… shaking. It's one of those things that… I thought I knew what it would be like? But I… my body just… god, sometimes it feels like we invented sex, you know?"
He laughed.
Demyx was quiet for a time, giving Ienzo the mental space to pull himself together. Finally, he did. "I'm sorry," Ienzo said. "That was likely frightening."
"Hey, no need to be sorry."
"One hour spent making out and I unravel in an instant."
He snorted. "It was a lot longer than an hour."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Ienzo. It was the middle of the afternoon when this started. It's dark out now."
Befuddled, he looked over to the window. "No wonder I feel so tired."
Demyx laughed at him.
"I'm so used to these things… happening quickly. The lack of instant gratification likely confused my body." He sighed. "I feel like a teenager."
"Not your fault this is the first time this is happening."
"I suppose it was… a lovely way to spend the afternoon."
"Oh hell yes." He chucked him under the chin. "Can I kiss you? Would that be gross?"
"I think we're beyond that point."
He kissed him once. Ienzo could actually taste it, a warm animalness. Then again, that was all people really were , a bundle of instincts with a heart in charge of it all. Demyx stood. "I am so fucking thirsty."
"I almost feel like I need something stronger."
"What, a joint?" He laughed.
"Take off this edge. As it were." His skin was still so disconcertingly tender. "I don't think tea will cut it."
"What has gotten into you today? Weed and blowjobs? You're full of surprises."
Ienzo smiled. "Always."
