A/N: Hello everyone! :) Going to keep this short, there's an A/N at the end of the chapter that talks more about what happened, posting order, and update schedule. Now, onto the chapter!

~8~

Painful Pasts

It was growing to be an almost uncomfortably common happenstance that Killian Jones, the fearsome Captain Hook, would find himself smiling. After the death of his Milah, his love, he hadn't thought he'd ever smile again unless it was ripping the Dark One's heart out and crushing it with his bare hand. He should have learned though, from his own past, that every time he'd thought his hope and happiness lost to him, something came along that restored his hope. His father was gone, his brother made him smile. His brother died, Milah made him smile. Milah died…and now Lyssa made him smile. He truly felt he might be at risk of losing his villainous edge and the terror he instilled in his enemies should they witness him now.

He was sitting on the deck, with the sun just setting on the horizon and the men celebrating a good deal that had been made in the refugee village that left them with more than they'd hoped during this trip. Including some rum. The men were very pleased that the rum had been procured. Right now the seas were calm, the night was cool, the men were merry, and the ship was safe. He, however, hadn't partaken in much of the rum, mostly because there was a small fire burning in the designated sandpit. Rum and wood and tipsy crew didn't often add up to anything good and so he was going to keep his eye on it for the safety of the crew.

He let out a barking laugh when Smee tripped over his feet and fell onto the deck. It hadn't been done in any painful manner, he was quite certain that Lyssa would have been rushing over to help him up and asking him if he were alright if it had been. Instead, Lyssa herself had let out a laugh, and while she still hurried over to help him up, it was with a smile. He had been more clumsy in his fall.

Because Lyssa was trying to teach the men how to dance.

It was ridiculous.

Laughable.

The men hadn't had a reason or cause to dance a proper waltz in centuries, they had likely forgotten their proper upbringings having been pirates so long. And they were pirates! What would they be experiencing that they would need to dance a waltz? They were clearly drunker than he originally thought if they were agreeing to these lessons. He couldn't tell if it was the men humoring Lyssa or if they actually wanted to learn. Had this been in the beginning, when she first joined them, he would have said they genuinely wanted to learn. They had taken some time to get used to her, they wouldn't have been likely to humor her then.

But now they had developed a fondness for her and if it was something she truly wished to do, they might be persuaded to go along with it.

Though, it could be that she was close to their captain and it was their way to not insult him as well.

He preferred to think it was both. He certainly was fond of Lyssa and he would not abide by his crew showing her disrespect. (Even if he wasn't fond of her that was just bad form.) But he also liked the idea that she had naturally won them over. He knew she had had enough of people treating her a certain way because of her relationship with another, he would not allow her relationship with him to influence how the crew treated her. She wanted people to judge her for herself, which his crew clearly had.

"He's got two left feet, love," he called out when Lyssa tried to get Smee going once more, only to wince when he stepped on her foot.

Lyssa, bless her, kept a smile, pain-laced though it was, on her face even as Smee apologized and then stepped on her other foot.

Smee huffed at the words, "It's not that, Captain," he insisted, ignoring how the other crew members laughed heartily at it, implying it very much WAS that, and turned to Lyssa, "I do apologize, but I fear I've had too much to drink and these lessons would be wasted on me."

"It's alright, Mr. Smee," Lyssa nodded, understanding. She very much doubted he'd had THAT much to drink, he'd spoken too eloquently to be so inebriated, but if that was the excuse he was going to give to save face in front of his crew, she would let him have it, "You ought to sit down then, rest."

Smee beamed widely at being let out of the lessons, and moved to sit on a barrel.

Lyssa winced again, reconsidering if the man might actually BE quite drunk, when he missed the barrel entirely and nearly fell off the side of the ship. He certainly would have gone into the water if not for one of his mates grabbing him and straightening him. She looked around at the men before her, "Who's next?"

There was silence.

She was almost sure she'd even heard crickets chirping.

She huffed, rolling her eyes, and placed her hands on her hips, "It's just dancing," she reminded them.

"Aye," one of the men called out, "And we're just pirates. Tis no reason for us to know a waltz."

"You don't always need a reason or a use to learn something," she reasoned, "You could learn it merely because it's fun or interesting or someone is willing to teach it. It doesn't have to have a practical application to it."

"I'd leave off them, lass, if I were you," Hook called out, "They're a rubbish lot at dancing anyway, I'm sure you recall."

The men laughed loudly at that, Lyssa shaking her head fondly as well. She knew exactly what he meant. The men often danced at a pub or two, the few times they had found one that seemed to have fared better under the curse. And they were…quite something. She was used to watching beautifully choreographed waltzes and group dances and balls. To see the men jumping and bobbing and spinning with others so haphazardly had taken some getting accustomed to. Killian had had a bit too much to drink once and practically dragged her into the middle of the throng.

But she understood, the men hadn't had much experience with proper dancing, not in centuries. Nor did they really have any interest in learning or remembering how to do them.

"They're a lost cause," Hook continued.

"Well then," Lyssa turned to him, "I think they're only lost if their captain is."

It took him a moment for her words to register, "…what?"

Lyssa smirked slightly, "Perhaps if their captain were to learn, they might be more inclined to do the same."

"Oh no," he shook his head, "You're not getting me to dance in front of my men. Drunk or not, it's not going to happen, lass."

"Are you scared?" Lyssa asked, sounding far too innocent in the question to actually BE innocent, but more a bit taunting, "I'd have thought a fearsome pirate like Captain Hook afraid of nothing."

He snorted, "I'm not afraid of anything."

"Then you'll dance with me?"

"No," he smirked when she pouted.

But she recovered quickly enough, "I see, you're concerned you'll show the men up so terribly that they'll never dance again. You're just so talented and gifted at it that it would put the men to shame."

Hook started to laugh at the outrageous excuse she'd thought up, "I couldn't care less if they dance or don't, Lys."

Lyssa gave a tiny huff, which only made him smirk wider, knowing he was getting to her more than she was getting to him. The truth was, he wouldn't mind a proper dance with her. He'd anticipated her to just ask him in that almost-pitiful manner she had about her when really wanting someone to do something for her or with her. He would have given in eventually to that, had a dance with her, been done with it. But she hadn't quite gone in the direction he'd first thought she would. Seemed she was picking up a bit of the pirate way in trying to trick him into agreeing to dance with her first. Now he was curious how far she'd go, what other tricks she might have up her sleeves, and what she'd try next.

He could see the cogs turning in her mind, in the way she chewed on her lower lip, the way her mouth scrunched. And he could see the exact moment she worked out the next angle she was going to use when she beamed, before it morphed into a small smirk.

His own smirk began to fall when her face just seemed to crumble, her eyes going downcast as she shook her head, as though determining that her plan wouldn't work at all.

"Alright," Lyssa sighed, her shoulders sagging just a little as she moved over to Hook and sat beside him on one of the crates along the side of the ship.

Hook blinked at that, now frowning, "That's it?"

Lyssa looked at him and shrugged, "I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do. I can't force you to dance with me. I just…"

"What?"

She gave him an almost sad smile, "I wanted to dance with you," she admitted, "I was…" she took a breath, "I was hoping that, if I taught the men, you might want a turn as well."

Hook stared at her, "You set this entire thing up so I'd dance with you?"

"I hoped you'd dance with me," she corrected lightly, "I've never actually danced-danced with anyone before," she told him, "When the king would throw balls, I had to tend the guests, I could only watch. And when mother took over, not many people wanted to come to her balls, and I was always far too nervous around the ones who did to dance with any of them. I had lessons," she added quickly, not wanting him to think she'd be a terrible partner, "Mother did teach me when I told her I'd like to learn, I've just never actually danced with anyone before. It always looked like fun and something sweet to do with the person you love."

Hook continued to look at her even when she looked away and back to the men who were swapping stories and arguing lightly over something. He let out a breath as he shook his head, he hadn't known that, but it did make sense. Not many people would attend a ball thrown by the Evil Queen and the sorts that would, he couldn't see Lyssa enjoying their company.

A pang hit him at that thought. The company the Evil Queen would hold would be the villains of the Enchanted Forest and Lyssa was too kind and gentle to be comfortable around them. It still escaped him how she was so close and loyal to the Evil Queen, but what was bothering him was the fact that Lyssa was the most unvillain-like villain in this story, and yet she was surrounded by villainous pirates right now. She had just admitted she hadn't enjoyed the company of other villains, HE was a villain.

He shook his head, no. He may be a villain, but Lyssa understood him, she had come to be close to him and his crew. She was fine around them, she would have said something, she would have displayed signs of not being comfortable. He would have noticed it.

He let out a breath and stood, taking a step forward and looking towards his men, before he turned and held out a hand to Lyssa, "May I have this dance?" he asked her.

Lyssa blinked and looked up at him, a smile breaking out on her face as she reached out and took his hand, allowing him to help her up. He didn't lead them over to the men though, instead keeping them where they were. There was space enough around them for a proper waltz, and she could understand if he just didn't want to be in the forefront of this men's attention while dancing.

"Mother would be proud," Lyssa remarked as they began.

"Aye," he nodded, honestly a little impressed with her skill for having never had a true partner to practice on, "You're quite a talent. It was resources well spent, your lessons. I, however, may be more than a bit rusty. Don't hold it against me lass."

Lyssa blushed at his compliment, "I wasn't talking about my dancing."

Hook shook his head, laughing under his breath as he realized what she meant.

She had tricked him.

The little minx had tricked him into dancing with her by playing sad. Her mother certainly would be proud of her, tricking him like she had. HE was quite proud of her too. He hadn't even realized it was part of her plan.

"Well done, lass," he murmured, smiling down at her.

"You're not mad?" she asked, wanting to be sure. It had been a bit underhanded, going the route she had. She really hadn't meant to make him do something he didn't want to do. She'd seen enough of it with her mother, she would never make anyone else do something like that.

"I'm not," he reassured her, "Because now…" he tugged her closer than the dance required, winding his one arm more around her waist, "I have you in my arms."

Lyssa let out a small giggle, "You tricked me too."

"Aye," he nodded, "Mad?"

She hummed in thought, "I'll require a kiss as recompense."

Hook nodded, "Tis a fair deal," and leaned in to give her a gentle kiss, unable to help but smile when he saw her grinning broadly when they pulled away. It always served to set his heart racing when he saw her so happy over such a small thing as a kiss.

He added a small spin to their waltz, pulling her back and ignoring the cheers of his men as they watched on. Lyssa laughed at the move, which helped dull the speck of self-consciousness that came with knowing the men had noticed him dancing with her. He couldn't help but smile when Lyssa shifted her hold on his hand, having used his hooked one around her waist. It was something he had come to realize now that he had but a single hand, he noticed when it was used more often. He noticed when someone touched his hand more, and Lyssa's touch was very welcome.

"I know pirates are fond of their treasure," Lyssa remarked as they swayed, "But I did not think them fond of wearing them until I met you," she glanced over at the men and back to Hook, "Why do you wear jewelry when the crew don't?"

"Hmmm?" he hummed in question.

Lyssa looked to the hand she was holding, her fingers lightly fiddling with his rings, "You wear necklaces and rings, more than your men do. Is that a thing only the pirate captain gets to do?"

Hook stiffened slightly at her question, "Aye."

Lyssa's gaze turned from his hand to his face, hearing a tension and a deepness in his voice, it was further emphasized by the way his face had gone from smiling to grim, "Are you alright, Killian?"

"I'm fine lass," he answered.

"You're lying," she told him, trying to keep her voice as gentle and soft as she could, not accusing, "I've heard my mother say that enough times to know when someone isn't fine at all. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Lyssa."

"Was it the question about the jewelry?" she asked, not wanting to know because she wanted him to tell her about it, but because if it was, she didn't want to ask it again in the future and upset him. She knew the randomest of things could be touchy for different people, she never wanted to cause him any upset, "I was teasing."

"I know, Lys," he huffed, "Look, just leave it."

"Alright," she murmured, "It's nothing to be ashamed of though. Kings wear loads of jewelry."

"I'm no king, I'm a pirate."

"Well, you're like a pirate king," she teased a little, nudging him slightly to try and lighten the mood again, reminding him of when she'd been a 'pirate queen' for a brief time. She trailed off a moment, when another thought struck her at the mention of kings and queens. Her mother. Of all the jewels the king had given her, the gifts she'd received over her reign, there was only one piece of jewelry her mother wore, only one that was important enough to her to keep on her at all times.

The ring Daniel had given her.

Killian was the captain, yes, but she couldn't see him forbidding his men from wearing rings or necklaces themselves. The men didn't wear them, but Killian did. And she could admit it wasn't the wisest thing for a pirate to do. Necklaces could get torn off, rings stained or damaged, it would be something others would want to steal. So why wear it?

Killian proclaimed, and proved, himself to be a fearsome pirate, yet he wore rings and necklaces?

It seemed an odd choice, which told her there might be something more to it, another reason behind wearing them.

"My mother used to wear a single ring," she told him after a few moments of silence and swaying, "If she had her way, she'd have worn no other jewels but that ring," she looked at him, "It was a ring my father gave her. She wore it to remember him by."

Hook let out a bitter scoff and shook his head. Of course Lyssa would think he wore the rings for the same reason. That perhaps it was for crew members that he'd lost over the past few centuries, that he wore the rings to remember those he'd lost.

It was the farthest thing from the truth.

"You want to know why I wear these rings?" he asked her suddenly, his voice full of anger and resentment, disgust and…the barest hint of fear.

"Killian, I…"

"Their trophies," he told her, pulling away from their dance so he could show her the rings he wore on his hand, "This one belonged to a man named Barnaby. He called me 'One Hand Jones' and so I killed him. In front of his wife. Took his ring. This one," he moved to another, "Edgar. A sailor I caught drinking the captain's wine, so I had him drowned. All of these, each ring, is just another life I took and took with ease. These rings remind me of who and what I am. A pirate. A murderous, villainous pirate."

"Killian…"

"You think you know me? You think you understand? You don't know anything, Analyssa. I have killed, I have pillaged and plundered, because I wanted to. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Lyssa looked at him a long while, before she merely turned and left the deck, going below.

Hook let out a breath, his shoulders sagging, only just realizing that the men had fallen dead silent behind him. He swallowed hard, reaching up to rub his forehead with his hand, shaking his head. He looked over at the door that led below deck and couldn't make himself walk towards it.

The night had been going so well, he and Lyssa had been dancing, she'd been laughing and smiling. He'd been happy, truly happy, for the first time in so long, content and feeling the love within him for the red-haired girl. And now he'd gone and mucked it all up. Not only had he shouted at her, he'd put words in her mouth, was condescending, and…worse yet…he had blurted out some of the worst examples of the man he was.

He wouldn't blame her if she demanded they make for land and she be released.

He should never have said anything, he should have just let the matter drop. But it was just…having her standing there and looking up at him because she thought he kept the rings as mementos of those lost was too much. She looked at him as though he was a good man, she hadn't even considered that it was for some more nefarious reason. It hadn't even crossed her mind that he used them as trophies of the men he'd killed.

He couldn't handle her looking at him like he was a good man.

It felt like a lie, HE felt like a lie.

With Lyssa onboard, he could admit he and his men had been on better behavior. They did their best to keep their less than savory habits away from her delicate sensibilities. In that moment where she'd looked at him, he couldn't help but question and fear if she had fallen in love with a man she thought he was as opposed to who he actually was. He couldn't bear it, thinking that she loved him for some image he'd crafted and not for HIM.

He should have done this in a better way, talked to her, sat her down and spoken to her, but he'd just reacted.

Thinking about how good and kind she was, how uncomfortable she was around other villains, it had put him on edge. Because she wasn't uncomfortable around him any longer. So either she had become more villainous, which was laughable, or she didn't see him as a villain. But he was one, he'd been one for three hundred years.

He glanced out at the sea as another thought struck him, perhaps it hadn't just been about wanting her to admit he was a villain, to actually accept all of him. He was desperate for that, to have someone accept all of him, take him as he was. And his thoughts moved to Milah. She had seemed to love the villainous side of him, thrived on it, because he was roguish and he took what he wanted and he had adventures where the rules of others didn't apply to him. And now there was Lyssa, someone who seemed to love him as well, but did she love his villainous side? She loved him when he was on his best behavior, and he was on it with her more than he ever had with Milah. Would Lyssa love that other side of him too?

It was more than that, his thoughts on the subject just pushed him to think of Milah. She had loved him and stayed with him, and she'd changed. She'd become a pirate queen, a villain, and she'd died for it. Lyssa was a unique soul. Touched by the darkness but not dark herself. He couldn't imagine her being a pirate queen, changing in such a manner. And he didn't want her to. He hadn't been lying to her when he said he didn't want another Milah, he wanted Lyssa exactly as she was.

Would she change? If she stayed with him, would she change? Would she become more and more a villain because of him? He dreaded to think what the girl's mother would do to him if he returned her sweet daughter back as a villain like her mother.

What's more…would she be safe? He'd already seen her get into scores of trouble, he and his men did their best to keep her safe. But he had failed on more than one occasion. Would the day come where they'd be too late to save her? If she ended up like Milah…

He swallowed hard, drawing a deep breath after, and looking at the door.

If he didn't do something now, he was going to lose her as surely as he had Milah.

And despite his outburst, his racing thoughts, he did not want to be without her.

He gathered up what courage he had and pushed himself through the doors. He made his way down to where the sick room, now Lyssa's room, was, coming to pause before her door and hesitating to knock. He was sure he would either find her crying or packing on the other side of it and he wasn't sure which would break his heart more to see. But he had caused this, he needed to fix it.

He reached out and knocked his hook against the door. There was no response, which caused a pit to form in his stomach. So he pushed the door open and peeked in, letting out a relieved breath when he saw Lyssa still there. She wasn't crying or packing as he feared, but sitting at the end of her bed, her hands wrung in her lap, staring at the wall.

He wasn't sure if he was welcome in her room, but it was his ship, he had to remind himself, and so he stepped in and shut the door. He waited a moment longer and when Lyssa didn't react, he moved to sit beside her.

"If you think…" she began after a minute or two of silence in which he tried to gather his thoughts and words, "That I'm not aware of the things you've done in the past, then you've not been paying attention."

"Lyssa…"

"No," she cut in, turning to look at him finally, "You wouldn't let me speak before, you're going to let me speak now."

Hook nodded, "Aye."

She gave a curt nod of her own, "You're a pirate. It's hard to miss," she managed a small smile at her tease, which drew one, equally as small, from him too, "You think there aren't stories told, warnings given, all over the Enchanted Forest about what pirates do? I am not so naïve as to think you and you alone are the only pirate to have never pillaged or plundered or…or murdered. I knew what your past likely was, I've heard reports of some of it from my own mother before I even met you. You saying it makes no difference."

"Lass…"

"Killian," she cut in, giving him a look, telling him she wasn't finished, "Everyone loses their way," she continued, "Everyone has moments where they fall to darkness, where they lose hope. The potential for villainy lies in everyone, some are just more open about the path they've chosen."

"I wasn't very open about it," Hook spoke, once he was sure she was finished, "You wouldn't have come to love me if I had been. I've lied to you, Lyssa."

"Have you?" she asked him, "Your past is yours to share when you so choose. There is no lie in not speaking."

And it was true, she firmly believed that. What someone lived through, who they were up to a point, the pits they fell into, it wasn't always easy to share. It wasn't always about trust, or not trusting someone else with the truth, but...so many other factors. Shame, guilt, disgust, self-loathing, that could be a reason too. She wasn't going to firmly state what his reason was, but she wasn't going to pry it from him. Her mother had many things happen to her, but she wouldn't expect the woman to just blurt out everything to just anyone, not even someone she'd known a year. It depended on the person. Their past was THEIRS and only when they felt ready to share should anyone expect them to talk about it.

She reached out and took his hand, looking down at the rings, "In the time I've been with you, Killian, I have never seen you wear anything different," she fiddled with them now, "If you keep these as trophies, these are the only ones you've kept. You don't pick and choose your trophies, I know that much about you. Three," she tapped the two on his hand, her gaze flickering to one around his neck, before she looked up at him, "Three rings in three hundred years?" she shook her head, "I've seen Cora kill three people in three hours."

"That doesn't excuse the many other, terrible things I've done."

"I'm not excusing anything," she told him, "It's not my right to excuse them, nor forgive you nor judge you for them, not when I don't know everything, the whole story, your whole story. All these terrible things you mention are not ones I've seen. I can only judge you based on the man I see before me."

"I've not been myself though," he argued, "The man before you is but a pirate on his best behavior."

She gave him a small smile, "I don't think that's true."

"Oh?"

"You would have slipped up by now," she told him, "You have no reason to be on this behavior. Your life and the lives of your crew don't depend on you holding up a façade. I truly believe that the man I see before me is you."

Hook was silent, looking down at the hand she was holding. He hadn't considered that. He had acted one way for centuries, a portion of it because it excited someone he loved, another portion of it because he was so bitter and angry and grieving. Perhaps he'd just fallen into a habit of being a pirate, of being Captain Hook, instead of being Killian Jones.

He hadn't been Killian Jones in...so long, maybe it felt like he was a pirate playing at an honorable man because of it. Maybe he was acting more like Killian Jones than Captain Hook. And maybe it was because of Lyssa.

Maybe she just brought out the man he'd so long ago buried.

"It is always difficult to make amends," Lyssa mused, "It's always hard to make up for things you've done that you aren't proud of."

"Who said I'm not proud of my trophies?"

"You thought my learning of them would drive me off," she reminded him, "Which means you probably don't actually see them as something to be proud of either."

Hook looked away at that.

"All sins can be forgiven when someone loves you," Lyssa reached out another hand to run through the side of his hair, "And I love you, Killian Jones. No matter what you've done. Because the man I see before me, he's been lost, he's been hurt, and he's been angry, maybe he still is. But he's also a good man at heart, he has a code, he's loyal, and he regrets," she lifted up his hand she was holding, kissing his middle knuckle between his two main rings, "I don't think you wear these as trophies. But whatever you think they are, please, Killian, just remember that there's not much you could do to drive me off."

And it was true, she had learned how to love from Queen Regina, and that woman loved fiercely and with her whole heart.

"I don't want to lose you," Hook admitted. If she left because of what he told her, it would be better than her leaving because someone else told her the truth or because she had been taken from him.

"You won't," she reassured him, "You may be a Pirate King gifted in surviving, but I'm a Sorceress's Apprentice gifted in loyalty."

"Aye, lass, you are."

She gave him another smile before she stood, "I'm going to check on the men, make sure they haven't set fire to the deck," he nodded and she moved to the door, pausing halfway out before she turned to him, "If you yell at me again though, or talk over me, your beloved rum is going overboard."

Hook laughed at that, but nodded again, crossing a finger over his heart in promise that he would not do such a thing again. He waited till she had closed the door behind her before letting his attention drift to the rings he wore. How Lyssa managed to see through him, he didn't know, but he was grateful for it.

She loved him.

She loved the real him, the him he was beneath the Captain Hook façade.

Perhaps he could work on bringing that man back. Hook had done so much harm, but maybe Killian could find a way to do better. Lyssa was a bright light in the darkness, she didn't deserve to be tainted by the darkness in him. She deserved a good man to love her and give her the world.

And for the first time in a very long while, HE wanted to be that good man.

He wanted to be A good man, for her.

She deserved nothing less.

A/N: I'm back! :D I'm SO sorry it took so long :( I had a note up on my tumblr about a month ago about what's been going on but for anyone who doesn't frequent that site or who doesn't follow my Captain America or Doctor Who stories, the last time I tried to get back to posting, I ended up swapping the part time job I managed to get to working in a bank (pro tip if you are in America on the east coast and really need benefits but can only maintain a part time job, TD Bank offers benefits to part-timers) and very soon after that got another job at a transit company so my work week between the two was Monday through Saturday, from like 5am till 7 pm, which didn't give much time to write since I had to get things ready for the next day and eat and sleep, and Sundays sometimes meant working at another branch if they needed help or catching up on things for the week :( BUT! One of the jobs offered me full time close to the start of February so I just had to make it two more weeks before things calmed down and I would have a steadier 9-5 sort of job :) I have evenings and weekends back now! :D

What that means for posting is that I'm going to start slow and aim for posting a chapter twice a week, I'm not sure if it will be specific days or just when I can get one up, but so far it seems to be Tuesdays and Fridays, though this chapter was a little late lol. If I can manage the two chapters I might move it up to two chapters of a main story and one of a spinoff or AU. So far in my plan for updating, I finished my Steve/Olivia Captain America story that was open and got through one more episode (3 chapters) of my DW Angel story. Now my goal is to finish up this story for Lyssa and Hook, then do another episode for Angel, finish Menna and Aragorn's current story for LOTR, another episode of Angel, finish up Sadie's DW story, another episode of Angel, finish Claire and Sheldon's BBT story, and then finish the rest of Angel's story. And when I say 'story' I mean just the current open-unfinished story, not their entire series. Once I get all the open-stories complete, I'll evaluate where I am and work out what stories will come next. So it's going to be slow going, but I'm hoping to gain momentum as I get more used to the hours and flow of the full time position ;)

Somewhat important job-related note, if you are too anxious about the health situation and don't want to read anything related to it in a fanfic, please skip to the next section 'Now, to get back to...':

Currently, as of posting this chapter, I am still commuting to and from work. My position is one in the 'essential businesses' allowed to remain open in my state. I do have the ability to work from home if needed, but the higher ups at my job have not given me clearance to do so yet so I am required to go into the office. I take two trains to get there and I take as many precautions as I possibly can to stay safe until I can get the go-ahead to remain at home, though even that can be tricky as I live in the county with the highest cases for my state so far and in the town next to where drive-through testing is taking place. Both my parents are cancer survivors and I still live at home so it is even more important to me to stay safe and practice everything the CDC has recommended. Both my parents also work in 'essential businesses,' one in a hospital (please keep her in your prayers as we are for all front line workers) and one dealing with the safety of the public (as do my brother and sister), we are all trying to keep as safe and healthy as possible. (A quick note to those going to grocery stores (one of my aunts works in one, another essential business), please respect those workers stocking the shelves and wait till they are finished to take your items, many workers are worried because people will lean in very close to grab things off the shelves as they are stocking and forgetting about social distancing.) That said, I wanted to finish by saying I hope everyone reading is doing ok, stay safe, stay smart, take care of yourselves.

Now, to get back to this chapter and onto slightly lighter topics ;)

I really wanted to have this chapter in this story, Lyssa tends to be overlooked as being naive by so many people, but she is much more serious and wise than she seems. She's observant and patient and she listens, she puts things together and watches. It takes a great deal of strength to be compassionate and to not let terrible things change you. The way she views the world makes her a target for people who think they can take advantage of her, but she truly is very wise and she sees the truth in more things than anyone would guess. Remember, she knows something about Regina that allows her to defend the woman against the heroes, that in and of itself has taught her that there are TWO sides to every story and it's not fair to listen to just one, to just define a person as evil by one mistake or by what others think it to be. The heroes don't have all the facts, so it makes her more cautious about forming judgments on others. I think her only exception to that is the Dark One, because, I think, she was too young to really allow herself to know everything going on in terms of his reasoning, she just sees it directly affecting her mother and no one trying to wipe him off the face of the earth the way they were Regina. Let's put it this way, there is something Regina does that the Dark One does not, and for that reason she will defend her mother and condemn him despite them both being 'villains.'

Here, she saw right through Killian's insistence that he wears those rings as trophies and to the heart of it, that he might also wear them from a very deep guilt he feels for what he's done. He may not realize he feels guilty, he may not think he does, but she sees something in him that tells her it's part of it. He wears them to remind himself he's a pirate, one who should be bloodthirsty and heartless. But if he needs to be reminded of that, doesn't it mean he's NOT actually like that all the way through? People often times remind themselves of things (like when you have to do something that scares you, and you keep going 'I can do this!') because they don't believe it. To Lyssa, Killian having to remind himself to act like a villainous pirate, means he's actively working to keep the good and decent part of him quiet. He has done a lot of bad things in the past, and there is a lot Lyssa doesn't know about him, but she also firmly believes it is his business whether he wants to reveal it or if he reveals it. She is not entitled to his life story just because she loves him or he loves her.

Whether she's right or wrong about what she thinks of him is to be determined. But given how a large theme of OUAT is that evil is NOT born it is MADE, implies everyone starts out with the potential to be either. We saw Killian genuinely being a good person, who was then made into a pirate by circumstances and loss. But originally he WAS good so it stands to reason part of him still is and the darker part of him keeps fighting against it to maintain the darkness. Now though, he has a reason to want to be good again.

I always felt like, with Emma, Hook started to 'change' because he wanted Emma to love him, he based a lot of his decisions and actions on whether Emma would accept them or if it would win him points with her. Here, with Lyssa, she already loves him and accepts that dark part of him, and now it's more HE wants to be good, because that is the sort of person someone like Lyssa deserves.

Some notes on reviews...

I'm glad you thought the Belle situation was an interesting take :) I like to look at things from the show that are implied one way and see if there's even a slight possibility that there was something else going on or another way to look at it :) We see a lot of the show from the POV of the heroes so I wanted to see what might be going on behind the scenes that they don't know that might but a new spin on things :)

I can say there probably won't be a huge twist to the family tree in Neverland, just what the show reveals ;)

I'm glad you liked the story! :) I really try to go a little more into the struggles and things that don't make a bunch of sense, especially the stereotypes and hypocrisy. With Piper, she's all about the darkness and being a villain and genuinely not caring unless her family is directly involved. Lyssa is a twist on that, sort of walking the line between good and evil and bringing up, with her view of things, how one ends up being classified and how it isn't always the right one. Heroes do bad things, but they don't 'become' villains. Villains do bad things and it makes them 'evil' and how is that fair? There will be a lot more coming for Lyssa and how she makes people question things :)

Definitely back to updating ;) Going to try and get all my open/unfinished stories squared away and then see where I want to go next :) Leena is one of the stories I'm highly considering getting caught up once I've completed the open stories so we'll hopefully see that story soon :) As for the one about their lives after the series is over, I'm not sure if they've said Series 4 is the last one or if there might be another after. I'd probably wait till it's officially over-over first :) I'm not sure about a POTC story, I've seen the movies a few times but no OC has jumped out at me yet. Then again, I also saw Jurassic World a few times and only recently had one pop up so you never know ;)

Salut! Je suis tellement heureux que vous ayez apprécié les histoires jusqu'à présent! Je suis très excité de rejoindre Piper également, j'ai beaucoup de choses à prévoir pour elle :) J'espère que j'arriverai très bientôt aux histoires :) J'espère que cela se traduit correctement, j'utilise google translate. (If this didn't translate well, I was trying to say: Hello! I'm so glad you are enjoying the stories so far! I am very excited to get to Piper also, I have a lot planned for her :) Hopefully I will get to the stories very soon :) I hope that this translates correctly, I used google translate.)

Thank you! I'm glad you like the story :) I'm really looking forward to exploring Hook and Lyssa. Right now they're in that sort of honeymoon just got together stage, and with all the craziness in the show, challenges will come up so I'm really excited to see how they do with them :) Regina too is something I'm very keen to explore. I wanted an OC who could sort of mirror Henry in being adopted by her, but react to her past in a different way. Lyssa was THERE during the height of the Evil Queen and loves her mother dearly, why? Henry, who was around for just Mayor Mills and did not experience any of that, can only go off his book, and 'hates' her. (I would assume anyone willing or wanting to build a weapons room of deadly and lethal weapons to protect against Regina isn't doing it to just scare her away but USE it and if it means she's killed in the fight, then so be it). Regina, for the most part, has shown herself to be a woman who loves her child and would do anything to keep him safe, so what would she do for her daughter? I really can't wait to explore more of her relationship with Lyssa :)

Lol, I'm glad the binging paid off and it was a good story :) I'm definitely back :) There may be a lull between this story and the next as I work to get other work up-to-date but I fully plan to continue Lyssa's story ;) Thank you for the tips! I keep trying to get photoshop to use for the covers and manipulations, but it always seems like it slips my mind lol. I've been using just Paint and MS Word to get the covers done for the moment. But I will definitely keep your tips in mind when I manage to get my hands on photoshop, thank you! :)