A/N: Alright, here's the update! I got quite a lot of reviews last chapter asking for an update...they were mostly guest reviews, so as far as I know it was the same person really wanting an update hahaha! Either way, here it is, enjoy!

When nightfall hit, Darry walked upstairs. His mind was in a deep fog. How long had it been since he had been home? Honestly, he had no idea. How long had it been since Pony passed on? Only one day. Darry couldn't begin to comprehend that. It was just yesterday. 'Is this how long the days are going to be now?' he thought to himself. He strolled to the first door that was at the top of the stairs, and just looked at it. His little brother was on the other side. His other little brother. The only one that was home. The other one wasn't coming home. As his eyes were locked, Darry couldn't get himself to open the door. He felt the need to go to bed alone, no conversation to think about as he went to sleep in his bed for the first time in awhile. He could only assume Soda would want to be alone too, not being asked how he was holding up. It would be a stupid question anyway.


The four greasers that had their grieving moments in the park eventually found their way to Two-Bit's house. They knew it wasn't the time to go to the Curtis house, so Two-Bit's was the only other home they could go to and hang out at. They all sat in the backyard, had started a small fire and were drinking beers. They all were having mixed emotions still. They felt better they had gotten some things out at the park, but the pain was still creeping in. They were all going to have to get use to a new normal, and it wasn't going to be easy. Steve was very thankful for what Two-Bit had made him do. He knew it would take some time to truly feel he could stop blaming himself for any insecurities he was holding onto, but it would get easier, day by day.


Darry got himself undressed to only his undergarments. He was sore. He still had a minor concussion that made him feel a little fuzzy and not completely focused, but maybe that was a good thing. The doctor had recommended he still have someone around to help out with that, but Darry couldn't handle anyone around right now. He just wanted to go to sleep anyway, he wasn't going to be doing anything too physical. He slowly lay back onto the bed. Wanting to ignore the mental and emotional weight trying to push down on him, he willingly acknowledged the physical pain from his wrapped ribs.


"What do you think is going on over there right now?" Two-Bit asked as he tossed a couple sticks into the fire.

"Sleeping," Steve commented, "I'm ready to crash."

"You going to stay here?" Two-Bit asked, "You can."

"Yeah, I will. I don't really want to be alone." He looked across the yard at Dally and Johnny. They were tossing a football back and forth, having their own conversation.

"Are you worried about Soda?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve shook his head, "I don't think so. Something is telling me he's okay, right now anyway."

"Did you take your pills with you?"

"No," Steve said as he broke some sticks apart, "I didn't really want them."

"Why not?" Two-Bit asked. Steve began thinking back to just the day before. The last time he saw his pills, they were all over the bathroom floor. They flew everywhere, because of the struggle he had to fight to keep his best friend alive. The idea made his stomach nauseous.

"I don't know if I'll ever look at them the same way," Steve admitted.


The oldest greaser kept his eyes shut. He pushed his mind as far from reality as possible. 'I just want to sleep,' he thought to himself, 'Don't think about anything else.' He tried his hardest to ignore the fact that this was the first night for the rest of his life he'd only have one little brother in the house, sleeping through the night. He'd only have one little brother who would actually wake up again. Darry lifted his arms and took a big stretch, letting the pain in his side redirect his thinking.


"But Steve you need them," Two-Bit said in a low voice.

Steve shrugged, "I'm just not comfortable with them. How do you expect me to look at them and not be flashed with the reminder of my best friend about to swallow them down his throat?" Steve took the sticks he held and threw them into the fire with frustration.

Two-Bit looked at the fire. He understood what Steve was saying, but he knew his friend needed the medicine. "Then what are you going to do? Just not take your medicine? That might be okay for a couple of days, but it will take a toll on you. It will make you become a mess and can hurt you. You said so yourself."

"I don't know," Steve said, "To be honest, I'm not that worried about all of that right now."

Two-Bit could feel himself getting frustrated with Steve's stubbornness, but he knew this wasn't the time to get into it. He'd give Steve his time to think about it and hopefully move past the scene in the Curtis' bathroom.

Each one of them ended up staying at Two-Bit's. Whether any of them wanted to admit it or not, they all needed to be together. Dally and Johnny slept in the living room, and Steve joined Two-Bit up in his bedroom. He lay on the floor with a couple of blankets and a pillow while Two-Bit got himself ready for bed.

"Do you need anything?" Two-Bit asked, "Is there anything that can help you sleep?"

Steve shook his head, "Honestly, my head feels pretty damn exhausted, so it might not be that hard to fall asleep."

"I can stay up with you if you want," Two-Bit offered.

"No, you don't have to. Just get it dark in here and I'll be fine."

Two-Bit turned off the lights and lay in bed. He didn't like leaving his friend to struggle. He almost wished he could go get the pills for him. Steve didn't know it, but Two-Bit just stayed awake in bed, glancing to the floor to see if he had fallen asleep yet. He felt better staying awake, so he could catch Steve if he tried to leave the room and go outside. Leaning over, Two-Bit looked out the bit of the outside world that was showing through the shades. There were no clouds, and stars were shining everywhere. The moon was bright as can be. It gave him a little sense of hope. The gang seemed crashed down at the moment, with no way to keep going. They were at a dead end. Ponyboy Curtis was part of the gang, and it wasn't going to be the same. They had no choice, but to move on, and Two-Bit felt a warm feeling inside that they would all be okay. As long as they stuck together, they would come out of this alright.

As Two-Bit felt his eyelids get heavy, he stirred himself awake and turned to look down at the floor again. Like clockwork of a gracious spirit, he saw his friend fast asleep.


The next time Darry opened his eyes, the sun was high up in the sky. He had managed to sleep through the night, although he wasn't sure what time it was when he had gotten upstairs and into bed, so through the night may have only been a few hours. It took a moment for reality to set in as he looked around his room. All he could do was take the day on. Slowly, he got himself up. He took a few long stretches, and walked out the door. Entering the bathroom across the hall, he turned on the sink, letting the cold water go down the drain. Cupping his hands, he placed them under the running liquid, filling a small puddle upon his palms. Carefully bending over, Darry brought his hands upward, letting the water splash to his face. As he ran a towel down, he got a look at himself in the mirror. He looked defeated, barely alive.

As he continued down the hallway, Darry stopped at the closed door that was nearest the stairs again. Looking up, his brother was probably still on the other side. Oddly enough to Darry, it still didn't feel right to enter. He wasn't sure how to take in that kind of feeling, as he was usually one to want to fix problems right away. It was foreign to him, and he didn't know how to handle it. Turning to look forward again, Darry took steps down the stairs. It was very quiet, very unusual. He didn't make it far as the emotional toll took over him as he slipped onto the couch.

It wasn't long before the front door slowly opened. Darry looked up and saw Steve closing the door behind him.

"Hey," Steve greeted.

Darry swallowed the lump in his throat, not realizing who he had hoped was coming through the door, "Hi."

Steve glanced up the stairs, "Has Soda come out?"

Darry shook his head. Steve wanted to check on his best friend, but first walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Darry. "How are your ribs feeling? And your head?"

"A little sore," Darry said, "Not really thinking about it though."

Steve slowly nodded, "Do you need me to do anything? Want me to make you something to eat?"

"Oh Steve, I can't possibly ask you to do anything else. You've already done a lot."

"And I'm not done," Steve stood up from the couch, "You're still not completely healed up, so you'll need at least a little help. And I'm not letting you just take back over the house again. You can't handle it."

Looking back down at the floor, Darry shook his head, "I don't even know what I'm suppose to do next." Steve knew he wasn't talking about housework. Darry was lost at how he was suppose to keep moving forward with life without Ponyboy in it.

"Have you talked to Soda since being home?"

"No," Darry said, feeling ashamed at his answer, "I'm...having a little bit of a hard time doing that."

"How come?" Steve asked.

Darry shrugged, "I don't know. It's like anytime I think about going to talk to him, or even get to his bedroom, I can't push myself to see him." Steve could hear the soft whimpers begin to form in his words. "That's pretty shitty of me, huh?"

"No Darry, it's not."

"How can I be there for him?" Darry looked up at Steve, attempting to choke back the tears that fought their way through.

"Well you won't be able to anyway if you aren't taking care of yourself," Steve said, unable to help rolling his eyes as he heard himself still repeating things Two-Bit and Dally have been telling him.

"He hasn't even come out of his room," Darry lay his head in his hands.

"I'll go check on him," Steve said, "Just sit tight, alright?" Steve went up the stairs and walked up to the bedroom door. He knocked a couple of times and didn't hear an answer, as he expected. He turned the knob and opened the door, peeking inside. It was like nothing had changed as he was greeted by Soda's back still facing the door.

Steve slid through the doorway and walked over to the bed, taking a seat at the end of it. "Hey buddy," he patted Soda's leg. Soda's eyes were open, just looking out the window. "Are you doing okay?"

Soda's eyes shifted down to the floor, slowly shaking his head, "No." Steve was at least relieved to hear Soda responding to him.

"Darry is downstairs," Steve said, "Do you want to go see him?"

Soda licked his dry lips, "I don't know."

"I think you guys need some time together."

"I know we do," Soda looked at Steve, "I just don't know what will happen when I see him."

"You'll cry," Steve said matter-of-factly, "You'll get mad. You'll throw things. You'll cry some more."

Soda sighed, slowly sitting himself up, "I don't want to cry anymore."

Steve scooted closer to his best friend, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, "I think this is the cry you both really need to do though. The one together."

"Yeah, I know. I remember when that happened after mom and dad died," Soda said, "We both had our crying with..."

Steve nodded, knowing the name Soda couldn't spit out, "I know."

Soda looked up towards the ceiling, shaking his head as tears formed, "Yeah, with him. But then when Darry and me were alone...just us two for the first time after that happened, we both lost it. It was a different kind of cry."

"Because something got tossed on your plates. A new life was coming that...he couldn't even understand yet, not like you and Darry knew about. And that's about to happen again."

Soda looked back down to the floor, "Steve, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Your pills...I don't know if I would have actually done it," Soda swallowed the lump in his throat, "It scares me a lot thinking about it now. In that moment, I was just getting frustrated that I couldn't get the bottle open. If I did get them open though, and actually looked at them, I don't know if I would have taken them. God I hope I wouldn't have. I don't know, it's scaring me that I don't really know if I would have or not. But...I hope I wouldn't have."

Steve's eyes began to burn as they welled up. Remembering walking into that scared Steve too. It terrified him. He hoped so bad that if he hadn't gotten there on time, Soda wouldn't have gone through with it. Steve grabbed Soda's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug, feeling himself cry into his best friend's shoulders. Within his grasp, he felt Soda begin to shake as he also cried into Steve's chest. Even with the tears, Steve feeling Soda in his arms was an incredible feeling, compared to where they could be right now. "I have never been so scared in my life," Steve whimpered out, "I felt like such an idiot and a failure."

"What?" Soda backed away and looked at Steve, "Why?"

"Because I didn't even catch what you said at the hospital. The things you were saying. You were obviously crying out for help. You were obviously saying you didn't want to be around, and I completely missed it. The only reason I came to my senses was Two-Bit..." Steve trailed off, "...I never even told him thank you for that. He's really the reason you're safe."

Soda let a small grin crawl on his face, "Out of anyone else."

Steve smirked, "Good ol' Two-Bit, huh?" The two boys let out small laughs. It felt good. "I'm so happy you're still here Soda."

"Yeah. I know it will be awhile before I start really feeling like that, but I don't want you to worry. I don't really want to die. It's just going to be sometime before I'm happy again."

"I'll worry anyway," Steve squeezed Soda's shoulders, "Let's go down and see Darry, alright?"

"Did you tell Darry?" Soda asked.

Steve shook his head, "I didn't want to bother him with it. If you want to tell him..."

"No," Soda shook his head, "Can we just keep it between us for now?"

"Okay, but you have to promise if you ever feel like that again, come to me right away. I don't care what time of day or night it is, you have to tell me."

"I promise," Soda nodded, "Were you able to get some of your pills back?"

Steve didn't want Soda to worry about him. He didn't want Soda to worry about his disorder or if he was getting by okay. "Yeah, I did. I got them with me."

"Okay good," Soda ran a hand through his hair, "My hair feels gross."

"You can wash it later," Steve said standing up. He took Soda's hand and got him to his feet. Wrapping his arm around his shoulder, Steve brought Soda downstairs. Darry was looking to the floor, until he heard the boys get to the bottom of the stairs. He looked over and saw his little brother. The reality slapped him right in the face. That was the only little brother he'd be seeing around now.

Soda walked forward out of Steve's arm, and sat next to Darry. He looked at his older brother as the tears instantly flowed down his cheeks. Without any words, Darry grabbed his little brother and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Steve didn't want to be in the way as he turned around and began opening the front door to leave.

"Wait," Soda cried out, turning around from Darry's arms. "Can you please stay?"

"Are you sure?"

Soda looked at Darry, "Can he please stay?"

"Of course," Darry nodded.

Steve closed the door and walked back over. He sat with the boys, who pulled him into their hug. As the brothers cried, Steve let his own tears silently run, giving each of his friends a squeeze, letting them know he wasn't going anywhere.