The trek back to Skyhold had not been a simple one. Their party had grown in size to accommodate the Hero of Fereldan, and the Grey Warden, Vala Amell. The pair of Wardens were used to travelling light and fast. But the mistrust between Vala and Solas made things somewhat difficult. She wouldn't ever have her back to him, she mistrusted him that much. Their travels were further slowed by the appearance of increasing numbers of rifts along their route home. Things were worsening every day. Corypheus had to be stopped.
Shar was a talented warrior; her knives were a blur in a fight. Vala was a force of nature. Fay had never seen such strong, forceful magic. She would raise her hand, and ten demons would be torn apart in one gesture. Fay had never seen power like it in all his life among the clans, or even within the Inquisition. He decided then that it would be wise to be always vigilant of Vala Amell. Solas certainly was. They were like a pair of starving dogs circling a hank of meat.
By the time the party finally reached the outlying lands of Skyhold, they were dusty, tired, and on edge. Fighting demons did not make for a happy journey. Fay was already thinking of a hot bath with his love, and with a glance to Dorian, he could see that his mind was not far from the same thought.
"Just a little further, I promise." he said, absentmindedly, to his mount. He patted the poor animal on the neck as he gazed into the trees. Something was coming. Not here too, he thought. Fay unsheathed his sword, preparing to do battle yet again with demons. He could hear Blackwall swear under his breath. Fay was so tired. He just wanted to get back to his large, comfortable bed, and hold Dorian as they both slept. Was that too much to ask?
It shamed Fay, upon later reflection, how long it took for him to realise that he heard familiar footfalls. Shar drew level with him, a smile beginning to spread upon her face. The boughs of the trees rustled and shook as several forms passed through them, until finally they landed with a thud on the ground before them.
"Dúl!" Shar flung herself from her horse, and flew to her cousin's arms. Dúl gave a startled laugh of joy, then swept his small cousin up. Fay gave a tired smile, sheathing his sword. They were finally safe. His eyes fell to the other Elvhen who had accompanied his brother. They were ten in number, all dressed in green. Emerald, to be exact. He could tell that they each came from different clans. Fay was confused by their presence. Had not all Elvhen returned to the homeland? The rest of the Elvhen were kneeling before their king. It took Fay a moment to recall that it was up to him to allow them to rise.
"Hamin." he said, raising his hand. They rose seamlessly as one, and stood at the ready, their gazes shifting around the thicket constantly, as though searching for a threat. Fay was somewhat unnerved.
He watched his brother cuddling their cousin to him, a smile spreading on his face.
"You are a welcome sight, brother." Fay said. His twin glanced up at him.
"We were beginning to think you were never coming home again. I almost had the clans convinced to crown me King."
"Would you like me to leave again?" Fay's smile spread wider on his face. He had missed his brother terribly.
"No. There's no point now; you're here." Dúl put their cousin down, and walked over to his brother, patting his mount, and playing with the animal. Their eyes locked. He could see how relieved he was to have him home. They had been away much longer than he had wanted them to be.
The party and their escort began to make good time through the forest together towards Skyhold. Dúl was filling them all in on as much as he knew. And he was a terrible gossip, after all, so he knew a lot.
"... So I don't know about you, but I would definitely keep an eye on Lady Josephine and that noble from the Free marches. There's something going on there."
"None of this information is actually useful." Fay grumped. "But I am entertained." he added, hastily, when Dúl threw him a filthy look. They finally broke through the trees to get an unobstructed view of Skyhold, and Fay's breath caught in his throat. Dorian exclaimed softly in Tevene.
Aravels were gathered in the land directly adjacent to the fortress. More Aravels than Fay had ever seen in one place before. More than were present at the Arlathvhen.
"Did I forget to tell you about that? Woops." Dúl said, sarcastically.
"What is this?"
"Warriors. Elvhen who are willing to fight for their king. For the survival of our people. For all of Thedas." Dúl was perfectly serious now. "Your plans have worked, brother. You have united the people. They are willing to fight. We will never have a repeat of what happened at Adamant." Fay could only hope that his brother's optimism was correct. He gazed out at the orderly gatherings of aravels, sizing up the numbers of Elvhen. He knew that the Shemlen didn't realise the sheer number of Elvhen there were across Thedas. There was security in secrecy. Strength in numbers. But their numbers had been scattered for many Ages. Even Fay had not realised how many of his people there were. He could hear a deep throb of drums, see the smoke rising from cookfires, hear the weaponsmiths working the ironbark. His people were here. And they were preparing for war.
The Elvhen lined the road leading up to Skyhold, cheering for their king. Fay couldn't help but smile at all of his people. Not for the first time, he felt a knife twist in his gut, as he thought about what life was like before all of this started. About the peaceful life he lived with his daughter, and his family. He missed his people, his culture, his aravel. The simple life of hunting with his brother. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders as he rode past his people. He would not fail them.
A group of people were gathered in the courtyard, ready to greet the Inquisitor. This place was not home. But it was something to cling to. A comfort in this dark time. Somewhere he had formed many happy memories with Dorian. He tried to keep the bitter hate, the fear from his heart. He did not succeed in keeping it at bay at that moment. He set his jaw, determined to ignore the feelings. He had more important things to be concerned with.
His advisors were gathered together, along with the sloping, rangey figure of Garrett Hawke. Stablehands rushed out to take their mounts from them. The authority Fay held over these Shemlen still did not sit properly with him. But he maintained a calm demeanour, as his eyes met with each of his advisors in turn.
"It would appear that you have succeeded in gathering an army of Elvhen together, Inquisitor. Just as you said you would." Commander Cullen shot a significant look at Cassandra. Apparently there had been some scepticism on her part.
"It has not been an easy task, Commander. But the bravery and willingness of the Elvhen people has never been in doubt in my mind. I always knew they would rise to the challenge, as I am sure the shemlen people shall."
"I see you have acquired some new friends on your travels." Leliana smirked. Fay turned to see Shar hopping gracelessly from her horse. He laughed under his breath. Vala dismounted like a noblewoman, her eyes darting around to every corner of the courtyard. Fay turned back around to explain to them who this stranger was, when he caught sight of Commander Cullen's face.
The Commander had become a deathly shade of pale.
"Vala." he whispered. How could the Commander know her?
"VALA?!" someone shouted, as he ran past Fay, jostling him slightly. What was going on? Who was this woman?
"Is that Garrett Hawke?" Vala had a beautiful, radiant smile on her face, as she stared up at the rangey man. The two embraced.
"Andraste's arse, you look just like my mother when she was young." Hawke murmured. Fay could hear the thick tears in his voice.
"And you look just like father." Vala replied, her voice just as thick with tears. Hawke held Vala at arms' length.
"So this is how we finally meet, cousin." They both laughed awkwardly.
"I was so sorry to hear about Leandra. I would have so dearly loved to have met her." The two hugged again.
"Would somebody care to explain what all of this is?" Cassandra broke in, a scowl in her face.
"Isn't it obvious, Seeker?" Varric pushed past a crowd of onlookers. "This must be Hawke's cousin, Vala Amell. The Champion's mother was an Amell." Vala looked around to Fay, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
"Garrett and I have never met in person before. We've written letters to one another for years. But… we could never meet. I was kept in the Circle at Kinloch for most of my life, before joining the Wardens. He and Bethany are the only family I have left."
"Don't forget Uncle Gamlen."
"Do I have to?" The cousins laughed. This was a meeting filled with emotions tender and warm. It affected every person who was observing.
"Is everybody in this fortress related somehow?" Dorian exclaimed. Fay chuckled, and placed an arm around his shoulders.
"Thedas is a small place. Families are large. This is how it is." Fay shrugged. He sought out Cullen's face, but saw that the Commander had disappeared. Fay made a mental note to follow up this curious circumstance. Cullen knew something. Something that was enough to disturb his stern countenance. And Fay would have it all out.
Cullen was hyperventilating, as he riffled through some reports. His eyes couldn't comprehend a single word on them. His eyes were filled with tears of panic. He couldn't pull a straight thought together. His breaths were sharp. Shallow. Hard. His lungs felt like a vacuum sitting in his chest. The edges around his vision were blackening. He was going to lose consciousness. Cullen clutched at his hair, tugging it desperately. He could hear them. Their voices. The snarls. The screams. He could smell the blood. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't block it out.
"No. No no no no no no. Please. Leave me alone. Please." Cullen fell to his knees on the stone floor of his tower. His hands shook, his stomach clenched. He covered his head with his arms, cowering under the shadows of the past. They were coming. It was going to happen again. Maker help him, he couldn't stop it.
"Cullen?" A voice cut through it all, but somehow the sound of that voice twisted in his gut like an ice cold knife. A muffled gasp, and then he felt a strange sensation trickle down the back of his neck. His fear and panic began to unravel. Like magic.
"Cullen." A small hand tucked under one of his arms, and with unbelievable strength hoisted him upright. He blinked and looked up. Into her face. Her. He flinched away and gasped.
"No. You can't be here." He averted his gaze, hoping that by ignoring this spectre it would disappear. Stop haunting him.
"Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honleith, you will look at me." There was an undeniable force to her voice. Just as there had always been. He dragged his eyes unwillingly to her face. She had aged. There were fine lines of dignity to her face, where there had once only been smooth perfect skin. There was a light touch of grey to her great sable mane, a more mature bearing to the set of her mouth. But still the same somewhat arrogant tilt to her chin.
"Do you remember me, templar?" There was a mild tinge of venom to her tone, tempered only by the touch of pity in her eyes at the state she had found him in.
"How could I ever forget you? I stood at your Harrowing." Cullen said breathlessly. Her face softened the more. "Vala Amell of Kirkwall. Mage of the circle at Kinloch Hold. Grey Warden." The panic was ebbing away, but the tight anxiety was sticking fast. The guilt remained to crush him.
"I remember you Cullen. Standing at the ready to strike me down. Watching me day and night. Waiting to murder me should I slip." Cullen felt as though he had been struck by her anger. But he had expected much worse.
"No Vala. I didn't watch you because it was my duty." There was a moment of clarity in the darkness of anxiety and fear that he felt. A moment when he remembered skulking around outside doors, on duty, staring at a young Vala Amell from across the room, her slender neck bent over a heavy tome, her rose petal lips murmuring along an incantation. Her beautiful slender fingers had always captivated him, as she wove her spells into existence. They hadn't had girls like her back in Honleith. He had never seen a woman as beautiful as Vala Amell before. Nor since. Not until now.
Vala was a small woman. Short, but well built now that she had been living as a Warden for years. Despite her small stature, she was an imposing woman. There was a quality about Vala that made him feel small. Her forest green gaze made his feel like that eighteen year old boy again, fresh from the chantry.
"Vala, I watched you because I was an eighteen year old boy, and you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." She averted her gaze for the first time. Her anger faltered. A silence stretched on into what felt like an eternity.
"I'm sorry. For what they did to you." she whispered. Cullen took a faltering step towards her. She had been there. She had seen it all. And he had seen her. He had screamed for her blood. He had demanded the death of every mage in the tower. And she knew it.
"Lady Amell. Warden Amell." he corrected himself. "I am not deserving of your pity. I wanted... " He couldn't say it.
"Annulment." she muttered.
"I can never ask for your forgiveness. I am not worthy of it." The cataclysm at Kinloch Hold had haunted him all his life.
"The demons tormented you, Cullen. Entrapped you, tortured you, twisted the world before your very eyes. I am certain you saw unspeakable horrors." Her voice was calm. Like the calm before a storm. There was something about her now that made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He couldn't quite pin it down, but he was sure that the very air around this woman crackled with the power of her magic.
"For all the torment they put you through, we mages suffered tenfold. Since the burgeoning of our powers, demons have sought to take us as their vessels. Every minute of our lives, we must defend ourselves. From constant onslaught of foul creatures beyond a veil that you will never see past." She took a breath, and moved a step closer. "So many mages gave in that day. And honestly, I don't blame them." She looked up into his eyes. It seemed as though tears swam there, but none were forthcoming. Cullen held his breath as he listened to her. "Their fingers tear at your mind, their very being is a battering ram, designed solely to break into you. Most of the mages that day? They were tired, Cullen. Tired of fighting. Tired of being locked away in a tower, with only the demons to listen to." Cullen wanted so desperately to reach out to her, to touch her. To tell her that he was no longer her gaoler. He no longer had the sole purpose of suppressing her.
"Your kind. You Templars. You dub them as abominations. But you are abominations. Imprisoning innocent people. Driving them to make deals with demons. You have no idea. It was never fair. Never right. Cullen I- I could have had a life! That wasn't this! I could have married, had a family! But Templars locked me away in a tower to never be seen or touched again!" The tears started to flow now. Hot, angry tears. Her breaths were coming sharp and fast. He couldn't help himself. He laid a hand upon her arm, but she threw it off.
"Don't touch me, Templar!" she snapped. She began to sob. He reached out again, cautiously.
"Feel my hand." he said gravely. She took a moment, to look into his face, before she tentatively placed those slender fingers on his ice-cold outstretched hand. She took a sharp inhale of breath. It was a warm Summer's day. There could only be one reason for his hands being cold.
"You're… Not taking it." she whispered. He shook his head, afraid to speak for a moment.
"It was wrong. What they did to you. What they did to me. They feed us full of Lyrium, and then… we can't leave. The Chantry… It set us against one another. It was wrong. I'm sorry." Vala's facade crumbled, and she threw herself into Cullen's arms. He was completely taken aback for a moment, before he folded her into his embrace. There was a flutter in his stomach. Apparently, there were still some vestiges of his eighteen year old self left.
"We don't need to be enemies, Cullen." Vala said, as she stepped back, away from him, wiping her eyes. "We used to be friends before… before it happened. Can't we… again?" There were so few people left in his life from before the Blight. Most of them had died. Then most of the templars he had become friends with in the Circle at Kinloch had died in the foothold.
"I have always cared about you, Warden Amell." He gazed down at his boots, afraid to meet her eye.
"Do you still believe I'm an abomination, Cullen?" Vala asked, tentatively. There was a very strange tone to her voice. A strain. He frowned down at her, confused for a moment.
"No." He was confused. But there was a flash of relief… and possibly guilt across her face.
"Then we are friends again." she said, with a tremulous smile. She proffered her hand, and he shook it. They stood in an awkward, yet warm silence. A bridge had been built between the two of them, fording the strife of the past.
