A/N - Long chapter. Some revelations. Some miss you moments. Some memories.
Hope some questions are answered in this chapter.
Enjoy
~Munchkin1978
Chapter 9
BPOV
When the plane landed I picked up a newspaper and put it with my purse as I walked out to the baggage claim. I had some time before the buzzer went off and stood and opened it up. Nothing of importance was really going on but a drug bust in Florida coming from Brazil. The picture was splashed on the front cover of the paper. I skimmed past it and when the buzzer went I closed the paper and looked for my two pieces of luggage.
I hailed a taxi and headed to my new apartment. I was going to make new memories in this place. I had the money that the police department had given to me to assist with anything I needed to get home with Jared. I had a quiet service here with just a few people as we lowered him to the ground.
Remembering Sam and Emily had followed us and left a few days after. Sam had made sure I would be fine and I promised him I would be. I moved from the taxi as he dropped me at the curb. I took my carry on and the two pieces of luggage up and left them at the door. I would have unpacking to do again. I didn't mind it. It would just remind me of him.
I took my bed from my dad's house that he had kept all these years and he moved it in with his police buddies who were doting on me making sure I was fine. Everyone was trying to make sure I was fine but deep down I knew I really was not fine. My mind never settled. I saw him everywhere I went. He always told me to be strong. Until he started saying it was okay. I didn't know what he meant that it was okay.
I curled up in my bed and fell asleep. This is the only place I did not see but that changed today. I saw our wedding. I saw him asking and us in school. Angela and Ben were here still and we had a double date the day he had asked me. I moved between dream and reality. I relived each moment until we moved. He was so happy he was going to be following his brother. They were so close. I would get to see Emily and our nieces. I would be a teacher and spend time with Angela.
That changed. Life changed. It was perfect till it was not.
.~.
My boxes arrived a week or so later. As the movers moved them into the apartment I made sure they went to the rooms they needed to. I thanked them all and gave them a tip for driving all that way and looking after all of my things for me.
I didn't wait. I unpacked all but one box. When I took a break, I had to eat I was famished. I found that I was hungry all the time. I got tired easily. I wasn't at my strongest I felt and I wasn't sure if that was because of everything that had happened or not. I made a sandwich and sat down with my laptop. No more news from New York from Sam and Emily. They did send some pictures which I would print once I got my printer set back up. I had just pulled it out of a box so I would do that later. I took after Angela and loved to take pictures as well. Once I got back to the last box in the bottom was the picture of Edward and I in the park and the one of him from the benefit. I sat in the chair and just starred at them. His green eyes pulling me in from the paper. His copper hair and chiseled looks. I remembered at the time how I felt guilty for thinking and dreaming of him. Angela had said it was human nature. I felt even more guilt now just starring at them.
Was this why this happened to us? Was it me? Was I the reason that I was thinking about Edward the reason Jared died? Was this pay back for all the little moments I stole in secret?
It was silly to think that. I knew it was part of the job but in my heart right now I felt so guilty for even thinking of Edward that way. The dream I had had happened yes but it could not happen again. I needed to go for a walk. It was late and I looked out the window and saw no one was out.
I ventured out and walked over a few streets before I stopped. Something had drawn me here. Seattle was a large city and where I stopped made me feel just as guilty as I had before. The name Cullen was on the building. He had told me he had an office here. All I saw was his green eyes drawing me in. I turned on my heel and headed home thinking of those green eyes once again. The pictures I turned over and left them in the bottom of the box and headed off to bed.
.~.
I had called Angela a few days later. I had explained that I had a few more things to get through but I would try my best to be there for the dinner she had planned just before the wedding. I had missed everything else unfortunately. She understood and was making do. I helped her from where I was by face time as much as possible.
The days that I went for a walk I found myself outside the Cullen building or heading back to Forks to see Jared. His and Sam's parents had long passed away so there was really no one else to visit him but me. I never stopped long enough to go inside the Cullen building and all I ever saw was his green eyes as if they were part of the building.
I was settling in and booking my flight to return to New York when I opened my laptop to read the daily news in New York. I wanted to know the weather and what it was going to be like so I knew what to pack. It was then that I saw the article. It was on the front page but continued inside so I read what I could.
Mr. Edward Cullen Shipping Tycoon divorces his wife over adultery and embezzlement charges. She will have a 2 year minimum term and her accomplice James Skorpi will have a minimum 6 years in a minimum security prison. Greek police have arrested a bartender and a model in conjunction to the case and are awaiting sentencing in the Greek judicial system. In other Cullen news Emmett and Rosalie Cullen have given birth to a healthy baby boy that no doubt will take over in the family business when it comes time.
So he was divorced now. I recalled he was so sure when we chatted on the bench. "May I join you?"….."I suppose Edward. Won't this fuel your soon to be ex wife?"…." Not really. She doesn't have a leg to stand on in the divorce."
I was sure it had not gone over well. I closed the news and finished booking my flight. I would arrive an hour before the dinner. I had enough time to get to the hotel for the one night and barely make it on time. I had a feeling I would be late. But better late than never. I was not going to miss this. I may be sad. I may miss Jared with all my being but I couldn't miss my best friends wedding. It was not fair to her. I called the closest hotel to Jasper House I could find that had availability. I booked 1 night and the rest I would stay at Sam and Emily's. I hoped the house had sold by now. I didn't want to stay in it anyhow. Too many memories.
I closed my laptop and curled up on my couch to read a book. I should be packing but I could do that later. My book was calling to me. I had toyed with becoming a writer. English was my strong suit. But I loved teaching kids more. So I taught them to speak better and be better students of English. Maybe now I would sit down and write. I had some time. I didn't start teaching school for another few months. When their new winter term started.
I settled into the couch and opened it up. From there I read a few pages before I had nodded off again. It wasn't Jared I was dreaming about. I found those green eyes in front of me. It was a place I had never seen him in before and I was watching him interact with a dream me. I could hear him talk but not what he was saying. Next thing I saw was Jared coming before me blocking the view I was watching.
"It's okay Bella. I know you both will be okay. We had our time. This is your time."
"Jared wait. I miss you. What is okay?"
"I have to go."
"No stay."
"I can't. You both will be okay."
With those last words I woke with a start and he was gone. I sat up and held my knees to my chest. The tears starting to fall yet again. I had not cried in a few days. I had been too busy. Not even when I had unpacked the last box. He had said "You both will be okay." I didn't know what that meant. He didn't explain. I still was not sure what I had seen was a dream or a premonition.
I dried my tears and stood from the couch. The book I was reading was one I had had since high school and I was re-reading it. I went to find a book mark as my finger held the page I was on something had fallen out the back. I grabbed a piece of paper and stuck it in the book and picked up what had fallen.
As soon as my hand touched it I remembered where it had come from. The fair. Jared and I had gone to the fair with Angela and Ben. The boys had been off playing shooting games and Angela and I had gone into the fortune teller. We had gone every year as a ritual. Today was no different.
"You both come to have your fortunes read?"
"Yes."
"One at a time then please."
I let Angela go first and waited outside. She was all smiles when she came out 5 minutes later and sent me in. I had sat before the fortune teller and she asked for my hand. I had both on the table. I didn't believe in it. It was just something we did every time the fair came around. But this one had changed me. It had struck me.
"You will marry one but see the one with the green eyes. He will protect you and give you the world. You will prosper with the green eyed man but you must find him first. You both will be okay with the green eyed man."
She had given me a card with my fortune like she always did. When I had come out to meet back up with Angela I had a blank look on my face.
"Bella what happened? You okay?"
I had shaken it off then and there. I chalked it up to be a fake like the rest of them. I always put the fortunes in the back of my books. I stored them away like my books. This one was no exception. However some words had triggered me to thinking this one was true. The one out of the millions of times Angela and I had gone to the fortune teller and she gets one semi right.
I had married one. But I saw the one with the green eyes. I was seeing the one with the green eyes in my dreams. Jared had said we would both be okay. What the hell did that mean? I dropped the card again only to pick it up again. I turned it over and word for word the fortune was on the back. I looked in the back of the book and the print had etched into the paper of the pages. This fortune was coming true. I turned the card back over and saw where I could reach the fortune teller. Madame Luna.
I picked up the phone but instantly put it down. I was crazy. I had to have been crazy. I pulled books off my shelf looking for the other fortunes. I read each one I found. Each one had said something similar. Why had I not noticed this before? Why was this coming up now? I was scaring myself. I collected all the fortunes and like the first one each had been etched into the back of my books. Not faded print but strong fluid ink as if I had written in the book myself.
I put them all down on the table. I needed sleep but I needed to get out of the apartment. I put my shoes on and grabbed a sweater and headed out the door with my phone in my back pocket. The fortune etched in my head.
Walking I made my usual stop at the Cullen building but instead of really stopping I kept going. I didn't need to see the green eyes because now I was seeing the fortune and Edward's eyes all in one. I didn't want to cry but I had an urgency to just walk so I did.
I kept walking until I found myself back in front of the Cullen building. My hand on the door. There were people inside and I quickly turned and headed back home. What was going on with me?
.~.
I got off the plane and waited for my luggage to come out. I only had my carry on and a small piece of luggage this time. My dress was at Angela's and we had appointments for spa day tomorrow before the wedding. Tonight was the dinner. My flight landed earlier than I had expected so I would surprise her and show up on time. I hailed a taxi and headed to the hotel immediately.
The girl checked me in as I thanked her for being quick. I explained I had a dinner at Jasper house to go to that I was running late for. She said if I took another taxi I wouldn't be late or I could walk as it was not far. I thanked her again and headed to my room to change.
It was not a fancy dinner. So I dressed in skinny jeans and a nice shirt with my flats that I had on now. I had high heels for the wedding in my suitcase that I was comfortable walking in. Flip flops would be after the wedding or my flats. I fixed my makeup and braided some of my hair to get it away from my face. As soon as it was done I headed back out with my card key, purse and my sweater.
I hailed a taxi and took it there. I could feel my stomach lurch but it was telling me I was hungry so I pushed it aside. I arrived and quickly stepped into Jasper House.
"Hi I am here for the Webber Wedding Dinner. I am running a little late." I told the girl.
"Ah yes they just arrived a few minutes ago themselves. This way please." Said the hostess as I followed her. There was still a line up to get in to be seated just like it was the last time I was here. When Jared left and didn't come home. My heart lurched at the memory but tonight was not for sad memories. Tonight was about Angela and Ben. I shook it off and plastered a smile on my face. I would think about it later.
She directed me to head inside but Ben was talking so I waited till he finished talking before I poked my head around the corner. I didn't have to wait long but out of the corner of my eye I saw him. Edward was here. Ben's boss was here. I had just a moment to look at his green eyes starring at Ben and when he broke the contact to look around for the missing people that Ben had been talking about I took the liberty of stepping in the doorway.
"We are missing two people tonight. One of our dear friends passed away a few weeks ago and the other will be returning in a day's time so please let's have a moment for them and we can continue."
"You're only missing one now." I said quietly as I watched Angela spin around. "I wasn't sure I was going to make my flight here and be here but I am." She hugged me instantly. Her grin twice as big as it was moments before.
"Bella you made it. I am so happy."
"I almost missed the flight. I am famished." Which I had. I was still caught up in the whole fortune thing and every memory of the fair had played over and over in my head I had lost track of time by time I made it to the airport.
"Come sit please. How are you?"
"I am fine. I am still going through phases of mourning as I will for awhile."
"You look tired."
"I didn't sleep on the plane. I am still on Seattle time. I will adjust tonight. Ready for spa day tomorrow."
"Good because we are doing something we have not done since we were in high school."
"Really?"
"I'm not telling."
"Okay. Was I not supposed to be surprising you with things?"
"No. With everything that had happened this is something I wanted to do for both of us."
"Okay Ang."
"Food should be in shortly. Do you want something to drink?"
"Sure. What ever you are having."
"Okay. Stay here I'll get it."
I looked around the room at everyone that was here. Jared should be here for Ben. Sadness suddenly came over me as I remembered how Ben and Jared were there for each other and Sam. All of them stood up for Jared at our wedding. Angela was my only maid of honor. I had no real close other friends that I wanted to stand up for me. I finally laid my eyes on the green ones that I had kept seeing over and over as he smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I could feel the draw already and I had just arrived. Ben interrupted it as he went to sit with his boss.
"So how is the new apartment?" Angela asked as she handed me the drink. She had one in her hand as well.
"Everything is unpacked. I have been out and had some walks. Visited Jared a few times. I need a car so right now I walk everywhere or I go and rent one if I need to head to Forks." Angela reached out and hugged me as she saw my face dip into the sadness I had tried to push away when I entered this place.
"After the honeymoon we will come visit."
"Has Ben told you where you both are going?"
"No he won't tell me. So I don't know what to pack."
"Did he not tell you the weather?"
"He said warm."
"So pack bathing suits and capri's or shorts."
"Yes I guess. You can help me pack tomorrow."
"You haven't packed yet?"
"No I have been doing other stuff."
"You have been in your dress haven't you?"
"Yes." She looked like I had when I was getting married. "A few times. It is just so pretty."
"I know. I recall doing the same thing." I laughed a small smile forming on my face as we continued chatting. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Edward was still watching me. He looked like he had something to say to me but didn't want to come over to bother me.
The food arrived and more drinks. I opted for pop at the moment since I was eating and enjoyed the conversation I was having with both Ben and Angela about my wedding and the differences being from the West coast to the East coast. It was supposed to be a sunny day on Saturday and the day I got married was the one day it had not rained in Forks. I couldn't help but smile at the errant thought. Maybe it was not going to be such a bad memory visit after all. I was worried more about being sad all the time and it showing and ruining Angela's day. She had let me have mine and she will have hers.
After we all had had some food and drink it was time to go. There were busy days ahead. I put Angela and Ben in a taxi and saw them off as they headed back to their apartment. They waved as the taxi driver honked for them. I stood and watched them go as I attempted to hail another taxi. Then I felt him. He had a presence about him that I had not really noticed but I could feel his green eyes looking at me. I turned and faced him. The guilt washing over me again but with the guilt came the reminder of the fortune.
"Bella."
"How are you Edward?"
"Well. I'm sorry to hear about your husband." He had looked away for just a moment before returning his eyes to me.
"Thank you. It is hard being back here. This is the last spot I saw him." I didn't want to talk too much about him or I would start to cry again.
"You haven't been in the city?"
"No I went back to Forks. I live in Seattle now."
"I didn't know that. I was still hoping to show you around the city."
"I'm sorry I didn't take you up on your offer. Everything happened all at once. Angela moved up the wedding which was beside the point. Sorry I am babbling."
"That is okay. I was hoping to run into you at the park one day."
"You seem to be where I am so I am sure we will run into each other again." He always seemed to be with me. Those green eyes. Stop it Bella you just put Jared in the ground.
"That scares you a little I can see it."
"A little and it shouldn't. I am a police chief's daughter I can handle myself. Plus I always feel guilty." I do feel guilty for not remembering the fortune. I feel guilty of thinking of you when I shouldn't be.
"Guilty?"
"I…" I couldn't say anything or he would think I was crazy. He opened the taxi door as I stood still not really moving forward to get in.
"Where are you staying tonight Bella?"
"Hotel. I didn't want to bug Sam and Emily this late. I will see them tomorrow."
"Share a cab with me then and we can talk."
"I don't know if I should." He looked like he needed to say something. I didn't know if I could do this without crying. He was pleading without saying anything. If I needed to I could always just leave I guess.
"I'm not going to bite. I will make sure you get to your hotel."
"Okay."
I got into the taxi and told the driver what hotel I was staying at. Edward got in beside me and closed the door. He was starring out the window but also had glances in my direction. I got out and stood on the curb. Either he had lost his nerve or changed his mind I didn't know what. He was acting different than he had before. Before he had control of the situation. He commanded the conversation when he talked. Now he was different. Something had changed.
"Thank you Edward. I have spent a lot of time alone in the last few weeks. It was nice to be in car with someone other than my mind. Even if we didn't talk."
"I know it is late but do you have a few moments?"
"I usually stay up late. You look like you have something to say."
"I do but I don't want it to scare you."
"You scared me a little a month or two ago. Things changed I can see it."
"It did. Divorced finally."
"Congratulations. But that is not it. There is something else." I knew about the divorce. He really was different this time.
"There is but I don't know if I should tell you now."
"Well I am standing right here." It came out a little harsh and I instantly took it back by smiling.
"Walk with me and I'll tell you."
"Okay."
He waited a moment before he spoke again. "Bella with everything that had been going on when I met you I had kind of pushed it aside but I kept seeing you. I couldn't get you out of my head. So much so that I wanted to take you out and give you the world. I kind of scared you the one night taking a leap of faith just so I could get to know you more but then I realized you had said you had a husband. When we did talk it felt like we had known each other for years and not just a few days." He paused and I let him continue. When I met you in the park that is what started it all. The daydreams. The guilty feelings. "When I saw you at Jasper House the first time I knew you were there. I was drawn to you when you entered but you were not alone. You were there with your friends and my assistant. When I helped you bring the drinks to the table I knew Ben would question it and I had only met Angela a few times in the past. She had come with us on previous trip but I digress." He looked at me as I watched him. I remained quiet because I didn't want to remember that night. "I saw from across the room your husband come back from taking a call. He was one of the under cover police officers I had just hired days before for the FBI. I had not realized he was your husband when I saw the name. But when I saw the face I clued in. When he left that night he was going to the shipping yard. I got a call an hour later and I knew he wasn't going to come home to you. I felt so guilty that it was my fault he would not be coming home to you. I felt guilty for having the feelings I did about you when this happened. I wanted to see you to tell you but I was bound by the FBI to remain silent and not say anything. I am sorry. More than words can say. I see the hurt and I feel that I had caused it more. Until Sam told me that it was part of the job that they do as undercover agents. He told me it was not my fault and I should not feel that way. Yet I still do."
He had kept walking a few feet not realizing I had stopped. He had known where Jared was. He knew he had died. He had talked to Sam. Did he come to the funeral? The tears that I had not wanted to come out were falling freely now. I cried at a drop of hat these days anyhow. I looked at Edward as he was itching to clutch me in his arms and let me cry. He felt guilty that it was his fault. Sam was right. I knew he was right. He saw Jared and I didn't get to see him again. I could feel a sob coming but I held it down. I was not going to messy cry here. I had just got to a point where I didn't messy cry anymore.
"Why did you tell me this?" I got out with out blubbering.
"It was wrong to want you. You were married and I somehow felt responsible when Jared died on my shipping yard." He said taking a step forward but stopped as more tears fell.
"It wasn't your fault. He was undercover." Sam was right to tell him that. Be strong. All I could hear was Jared. Its okay you both will be okay. Edward was watching me as I toyed with my memories.
"It certainly feels like it is."
"I am a police chief's daughter. I know it is part of the job. It was not your fault Edward." I paused. It was going to come out anyhow. I kept seeing Jared and the fortune. I kept hearing his words. I felt the guilt that I had felt. "I feel guilty all the time right now. When I saw you the first day your green eyes drew me in. I felt guilty even noticing because Jared was gone all the time. I felt that because my eye was wandering this was my fault. He was not at his best because we had been out at my request. He wasn't doing his undercover job." I stopped talking. I couldn't finish this. I couldn't be here right now. My stomach was doing flip flops. I could feel the sobs coming. "We can't do this right now. I can't. It is too soon. I am sorry." I spun around which made my stomach worse and ran back to the hotel. I didn't dare look behind or I would have collapsed on the ground in a crying mess. I entered the hotel and wiped the tears from my eyes as I entered the elevator. As the doors closed I saw him appear outside the glass doors. He was watching me go up in the elevator.
I exited moments later and entered my room. The first place I went was the bathroom and threw up. I sat on the floor and cried only to throw up again. I stood and got a glass of water and sipped it as I got a wash cloth and wet it. I looked in the mirror and saw him. "Bella you will be okay. You both will be okay. It's okay. No more tears. No more guilt. You both will be fine."
"Why do you keep saying both? Jared…." The image I had seen reached out and touched my face taking a tear.
"You will see. I love you Bella. Be happy. Both of you be happy."
The image disappeared like it had done in the past. I looked in the mirror. I had black running down my face. The cloth had mascara all over it. I was a mess. I was a mess all over again. My stomach flipped and I threw up again.
.~.
Edward had not followed me into the building. He wouldn't have known where to go or what floor I had been on anyhow. I had slept in my clothes. I was not well enough to haul my suitcase up on the bed to search for my sleep clothes. I felt guilty for leaving him on the sidewalk. He had just professed how much he wanted me and how guilty he felt that Jared had died. I felt guilty for thinking of him and that it was my fault for Jared dying. We both had felt guilty as it seemed. I rose from the bed and headed back to the bathroom. I still looked like a mess so I got into the shower and cleaned myself up. The water felt good as I stood under it. It woke me up and washed away everything from last night.
I always had a weak stomach and when I got upset it was usually the first thing to go. It really went last night. I still felt queasy but I was okay. I needed to eat. After emptying all the contents in my stomach last night I was surprised that I didn't wake up to a growling stomach.
I called Angela once I was dressed and she said she would meet me for breakfast before we had our spa day. I asked her where and she gave me the directions. She was waiting for me once I got out of the taxi and we were seated.
"So what time did you get back to your hotel?"
"Late. I left shortly after you did but Edward and I had a chat." I needed to get it out or it would eat me alive all day tomorrow.
"Oh. Everything okay?"
"Yes and No."
"Ok Bella spill. Something is wrong. I can see it."
"I still feel guilty that I was thinking about Edward and then Jared died. I thought it was my fault. I still kind of do. I know it is silly and one has nothing to do with the other but it was the way I was feeling. Edward basically told me the same thing last night before I left him standing in the sidewalk by himself."
"He what?"
"He told me how much he wanted to be with me. How he felt drawn to me. Like how I was drawn to him and those eyes of his." I paused putting my head in my hands. "He told me how he had 4 undercover officers that he had hired. Jared was one of them. He knew when Jared didn't come home that night."
"Oh my god Bella."
"It's okay I had a crying fit last night and threw up like 3 times. I'm okay now that it has past."
"Still."
"Honestly Ang I have been seeing Jared in my dreams ever since it had happened and he keeps telling me to be strong. I don't think I was very strong last night. It felt like I had lost everything again." She looked at me to make sure I was okay. "I'm okay now. I am going to do as my dream says to do. Be strong."
"Edward will be there tomorrow. He is Ben's best man."
It was my turn to look at Angela. "I wondered why he was there last night. I didn't put two and two together."
"It was supposed to be him and Jared. We have an empty seat for Jared with a jacket on it for him."
I smiled. "Thank you Ang that is very sweet. I am sure he will be looking down and smiling as well."
"Let eat we have a big spa day today. And something we did as kids in high school."
We ate and caught up on other things that were going on. She wished I was still in New York but promised she would visit as soon as the honeymoon was over. Entering the spa was like being Royal for a day. They doted over us and did our nails and made us look pretty and buffed out lines that didn't need to be seen. I had a conditioning hair soak that felt absolutely wonderful and the mud bath was like heaven. I think I had no more dry skin anywhere on my body left.
When it was time to go from the spa she told me to get in her car and close my eyes.
"Ang why am I closing my eyes?"
"Because I want you remember."
"I should be doing this to you."
She stopped and I heard her get out. She helped me out of the car and held her hands over my eyes. Once she had stopped I had stopped and she dropped her hands from my eyes. There before me was a little shop with the name Madame Luna across the entrance.
"Surprise. I found the fortune teller we went to as teens at the fair. She moved here awhile ago from Seattle. She is going to see both of us today."
"Ang how did you find?..."
"It is something we haven't done in a long time and it was fun when we went to the fair." She paused and looked at the surprised look on my face. "Besides I think we need it. I know they never come true but you never know."
"Oh I believe them now. Lead the way Mrs."
"You believe them?"
"I'll tell you after I have mine done. You're first."
I waited in the lobby as Madame Luna took Ang in first. 10 minutes later she came out with her card and a huge smile on her face. I went in and sat for Madame Luna.
"You wish your fortune read?"
"Yes."
"Your hands please." I placed my hands on the table as she read the life lines. "You have found the green eyes. You will both be happy. He will give you both the world and another chance at love." She wrote my fortune down while still connected to my hand when she saw another. "Guilt should be let go. Once this has left he will come." She gave me two cards as I smiled.
"Thank you Madame Luna."
"I remember you from long ago. You and your friend outside would come to see me every year at the fair."
"Yes it was a tradition of ours. We live on different coasts now."
"You didn't believe then but you do now. I can see it."
"Yes I didn't see it then. I do see it now."
"Guilt should be let go. I can feel it in you. He will come."
"Thank you."
I left with a smile. She was telling me the same thing Jared was. We would both be okay. I then put two and two together. They both had said both of us. My hand automatically went to my stomach as it flipped.
