« You wanted to see me, Hajime ? » asked Chizuru with a smile when she followed Haruhi in.

« Ha. I'm going to Sendai » I nodded.

« By I you mean... »

« I mean I. » I said firmly « I'm taking Toudou with me but you and Haruhi both stay here. »

« Okay. » she nodded and my eyes widden.

Okay ? She said okay ? Gods, if only it could be that easy all the time...

« Good. » I just said, regaining my composure « When I'll come back, probably in a few days, you both will be transferred inside the Wakamatsu castle but for the moment, I need you both here in the camp. While I'm gone, you'll obey to Mori Keisuke who I will leave in charge. »

« Understood. » she nodded again and that was so unsettling than I became suspicious. Was she hiding something ? Since I wasn't speaking, she sighed and crossed her arms, visibly annoyed.

« I'm not stupid, Hajime. I know that with all that The Shinsengumi's been through, if the commander goes away now with his wife and daughter, there would be no man waiting for him in this camp when he'll return. »

I nodded and started to pack a few things for my trip. We would travel at night since Toudou probably couldn't stay in the daylight. I handed an umbrella to my daughter.

« Haruhi » I ordered « go fetch Mori and Toudou. Use this. »

« Hai, Taichô. » she bowed and she ran outside.

I continued to pack under Chizuru's gaze and I saw her put her doctor ustensils in a cupboard. I saw her then unwrap a bottle of liquid that she got out her sleeve and frowned.

« What is this ? » I asked.

« Nothing. » she answered, flustered.

Haruhi entered with Keisuke and Toudou and I turned back to them to give my orders.

« Toudou, you can ride, right ? » I asked.

I haven't even bothered to check before I asked for the horses to Lord Katamori. How stupid of me. Even if Toudou was the illegitimate son of a daimyo, I wasn't sure he got all the education of a samurai's son since his mother was a commoner.

« I can. » he smiled « although I may be rusty. »

« Good. » I nodded « you and I are going to Sendai. Keisuke, you're in charge during my absence. It won't be more than a few days. I leave everything in your care. »

« Understood, Taichô. » he bowed.

« Good. Toudou, you can leave, we are departing at dusk. Keisuke, wait outside the tent a few seconds, I have to show you the plan. Haruhi, go make some rice balls for our trip. Chizuru, I asked you what that bottle was. »

« It's not that important... » she blushed as everyone went complying to their orders.

« The sole fact that you won't answer my question suggests that it is. » I crossed my arms.

I noticed that she had been careful to hide it from me when she put it in the cupboard. I walked to it and took the bottle in my hands but the letters on the label were western.

« It's for the birth. » she answered, blushing red « I sent a letter to Matsumoto-sensei to ask if he had any and he sent that bottle to me. I got it this morning. I'm in my sixth months and anything could happen now and the baby can be early so... I'm preparing... »

« Is that a kind of alcohol ? » I asked, opening the bottle to sniff it.

« Don't !! » she yelled, grabbing my arm to get the bottle away from my nose « Don't sniff it ! »

« Why ? » I asked, confused « Is it poison ? »

« No, it's to have less pain. The English queen, Vikutoria used it to give birth and she was so happy with it that now, it's really a trend in England. It's going to make me numb. But if you sniff it like you were going to, you'll collapse and sleep. » she explained.

« Sleep ? » I repeated.

« Yeah, instantly. » she nodded « so don't sniff it ! »

« Isn't that dangerous to use this for childbirth ? What if you fall asleep ? And what's this product anyway ? How can you know it's inoffensive for the little one ? » I asked, anxious.

« It's called Chloroform. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing » she kissed me with a smile « I'm a doctor. »

« I guess. » I answered, replying to her kiss. « I trust you. All your crazy ideas work anyway. »

The spices of her skin caught my nose and I parted from her with regret. How I loved that scent, it could drive me crazy every damn time. Shouldn't these desires fade after a few years ? They weren't for me... I put my hands on her hips. I couldn't hold her as close as before now, the little one so big between the both of us. I was growing impatient to meet it.

« Hide that bottle well then, I don't want any incident. » I ordered.

« That's why I brought it to the tent. » she nodded.

I took a step back with regret. I got so used to have her with me every day and every night that knowing that I would be away from her from now on was breaking my heart. But it was also a good thing to keep the little one protected. Chizuru was driving me crazy and I had to use all my volition not to be intimate with her. I resisted for so long when we first started to be with each other but that wasn't the same now. Now, I knew the softness of her skin, how adorable her moans were and how gorgeously her golden eyes could lit the room. With that knowledge, being away from her really was harder than when I was trying to protect her innocence.

« Hajime, are you okay ? » she asked, concerned.

« Ha. My apologies. » i nodded « I was just lost in thoughts. »

« Okay. » she smiled « Be careful... With Sannan. »

« I think Mika worries me even more than Sannan » I sighed « But I'll be careful and I'll bring back the cure if there is one. Or your researchs. »

« I know you will » she said, her smile wider « No one can ever kill you. »

If only that were true. But I'll always find a way to come back to you.

« Go back to work if you need to » I ordered « and let Keisuke in. He waited enough. »

« Okay. » she said, kissing me again « I'll let you work. »

She got out and let my second in and I went to the desk to explain to him what he'd have to supervise during my absence.

« We have decided to block the imperialists here, on Bonari pass. We will build three batteries to stop them and ambush their force. If we fail at Bonari Pass, the road to Wakamatsu will be cleared for them. That cannot happen. The SatCho isn't expected before the end of the month but in case of an attack, I trust you to lead our men efficiently. »

« Understood. » nodded Keisuke « Thank you for your trust, Taichô. »

« Thank you, Keisuke, for having my back all the time. » I nodded « Get to work. »

He exited the tent and I undressed myself to get a bit of sleep before departing for Sendai. My Rasetsu body was getting more rest during the day anyway. I laid on the futon and closed my eyes, drifting away almost immediately. I was so exhausted... Being the commander wasn't easy. I had to organize everything, regulate every little problem amongst the men, keep morale up... And chase after Chizuru all the time to make sure she would not overwork. How tiring... No wonder Hijikata-san never married. If I had been appointed commander before things got serious between Chizuru and I, I would never had had the time to court her... Not that I properly courted her anyway with my shyness... I wondered if I would have the occasion to meet with the vice-commander in Sendai. We would be very close to the border so it would be unlikely. With these thoughts, I fell asleep peacefully.

At dusk, Toudou and I saddled our horses and got ready to leave. We had pouches on the saddle so we could bring back books and notes... and the Onigiri that Haruhi made for us with pickle plums inside. I said goodbye to my family but without too much effusion since we were outside and people were watching and we departed together. Aizu and Sendai weren't under the imperial law yet so there was no point in avoiding roads and I was glad for that. We travelled fast, riding nearly all night with only a short pause to rest our mounts and eat some rice ball. For the first time since a long time, my dinner didn't involve a small amount of Chizuru's blood and I missed it a little, that coppery taste that was like a delicacy. I grew so accostomed to have it every evening, at peace with my nature that I had fully accepted now. It was easier to be a Rasetsu when the bloodlust wasn't a problem anymore. I knew that this little trip wouldn't be of any danger for me with all the blood I drank after Nihonmatsu but I couldn't say the same thing for Toudou.

The boy was often shaking, pale. He didn't have any medecine left and he told me that his bloodlust episodes were getting more frequent. I was feeling a bit guilty, having a treatment at the grasp of my hand but selfishly keeping it all to myself. Yet, imagining Toudou's tongue wandering on Chizuru's skin, drinking from her, discovering her most intimate taste... That was something I couldn't bring myself to agree to. Maybe it was possessiveness but she was mine and I wouldn't let Toudou have her. Imagining it was unbearable.

We arrived safely and I let Toudou guide me to the village where the sake brewery was. We took a room at a farm which was the closest thing to an inn that the small hamlet could offer. Toudou was glad for it since the first rays of sun were perking on the horizon. He closed all wood panels and stayed in the dark of he room while I decided to go scouting around the sake brewery to get informations about the whereabouts of the Rasetsu.