Plot Twist by Marc E. Bassy and Hailee Steinfeld
Santana's POV
She's sitting on Brittany's tiny couch with a cup of hot tea in her hands and a cuddly blanket covering her legs.
She hasn't felt this comfortable in days, so she's definitely enjoying the moment. Brittany is somewhere in the basement to get something that will apparently help them making a plan for the upcoming days.
She's full of energy this morning. Well, she always is. She's never grumpy like Santana is after having to get up early.
Not that they had to get up that early. It's Sunday and Santana got woken up by the scent of coffee. They had a yummy breakfast on their first morning as… roommates? And then they took a shower together that lasted a little longer than planned… and then they decided to use the rest of the morning to write down a 'to do' list for Santana.
What exactly it is that Brittany needs from the basement, she doesn't know. But it gives her a moment of complete silence in the apartment.
Who would have thought a couple months ago that Santana would say yes to moving in with Brittany. Let alone get asked in the first place. By someone like Brittany who loved her independent life more than anything. At least that's what Santana always thought.
Who would have thought that she'd have a fling with her landscaper. That it would turn into something more. That she'd develop feelings for her and that those feelings would get reciprocated.
Not that they have officially confessed their love for each other. They haven't had a heart to heart about what they truly are. She did tell Brittany over the phone… that she loves her. But it wasn't the right time. It was desperate.
She never wanted to be desperate.
Since Brittany literally fled afterwards, she doesn't think that it counts.
Brittany still owes her some honest thoughts though… about what she wants for them to happen. But it'll have to wait a while because right now Santana isn't capable to discuss things that might be difficult. She's already overwhelmed by her current situation with the house and the question of what she's going to do next in life.
Moving in with Brittany means that she doesn't have to live with her mother but it doesn't mean that this is where she's going to stay for the next two years.
She will have to find another solution. She doesn't want to be a burden for Brittany for too long. They're getting along so well and she doesn't want to ruin that.
"When was the last time you wrote on a blackboard?" Brittany's voice mixed with some heavy breaths shakes Santana from her thoughts.
The blonde is standing in the small living room with something that looks like an easel in her hands. When Santana takes a closer look, she realizes that it's indeed a blackboard.
"Uh… high school?" She answers with an amused smile and watches how Brittany puts the heavy board on the floor in front of Santana. Then she pulls some chalk sticks from her pocket and hands one to Santana.
When she steps back next to the board with a proud grin on her face, Santana can't help but stare at her lovingly. She looks like a child all excited and motivated to do their first homework.
"Well then it's time to do so again. We're going to write down our list for the next couple days and leave the board right here in the living room so it'll always catch our eye. It's actually very helpful to the process of brainstorming. I always used it when I was in my first year of being a landscaper. I got it from my grandma. So let's see…"
Brittany starts writing something down in her perfect handwriting. Since she's standing right in front of the board Santana can't really see what she's writing down but thankfully Brittany verbalizes her thoughts.
"Ok so… number one; find a place to stay. I'd say we can officially cross that off the list."
Santana watches how Brittany makes a big tick at the end of the first matter on the still very short list.
"I'll just write down a few more things that come to my mind. Feel free to interfere or to add or just… feel free ok? Ok second; contact your insurance agent and file claim. I remember you said that your Dad already helped you with that. Then we should make a list of everything that got destroyed. It has to be as detailed as possible because I'm sure your insurance company will ask for proof of your most expensive items… good documentation will make everything easier. We don't want to get reimbursed for just the average, right?"
Santana shakes her head wordlessly. She's impressed at the way Brittany writes down her thoughts so skillfully and quickly.
"What did you say was in your emergency kit? Tell me everything you still physically possess at this point. Lay it all out there."
Brittany crosses her arms in front of her chest, giving Santana a focused look. Santana shrugs. That'll be quick…
"There was a copy of my passport and my credit cards as well as a hard drive with all my most important documents and pictures. Luckily all my work is saved in a cloud, so I don't have to worry about that. Then there are the few pieces of furniture that the firefighters saved, some stuff from the kitchen and the blue painting you found." Santana thinks for a moment. "That's it. That's all there is. I don't have anything else."
She looks up into Brittany's eyes, feeling once again completely overwhelmed by the fact that her life is no longer the same and that it probably never will be again. How could it?
She will never go back to what felt so familiar. She's going to have to painstakingly rebuild her life. There's no button to press fast forward. She's going to have to do it all step by step. There's no way around it. The list on Brittany's blackboard isn't long but there is so much she has to do. How can she do it? What if tomorrow Brittany decides that she doesn't want Santana here because it was the wrong decision?
"Hey" Brittany must have sensed Santana's inner turmoil. She's kneeling down in front of her, putting her warm hands on Santana's sides. "It'll take time, yes. It'll take energy and courage. But it'll work. Because I know you're strong. Stronger than you might think right now. There is something inside of you that will help you push through this. You're going to rebuild your life and some things are going to be new and different. Some things are going to be the same again. It just needs time. You will collect new memories and new experiences. Little by little everything will fall back into place. Have a little faith in yourself. You can do this. We can do this."
The way Brittany emphasizes the last part, is the tip of the iceberg that makes Santana's insides crumble. All the time she's pulling herself together to not break into tears all over again. Right now she can't hold it in anymore.
She wants to cry. To scream. To yell at someone that it's not fair. This isn't fair. Nobody deserves to lose everything they had.
But when Brittany looks at her like that, she can do nothing but gaze into her eyes. Her heartening and endlessly blue eyes.
"Why do you have to be so sweet…" Santana mumbles rather to herself than to Brittany. The blonde just shrugs. Then her hand wanders up to Santana's face.
"You deserve nothing but the kindest."
Santana swallows. The amount of emotions going on inside of her is crazy. She should be tired of this rollercoaster by now. But Brittany manages to lift her up from her lows. With nothing but an encouraging few words and a smile to die for.
Their faces move towards each other like it's the easiest thing. Like they don't have to think about what they're doing.
When Brittany kisses her gently, Santana wraps her arms around the blonde's shoulders. She opens her thighs to pull her closer, feel her better. To deepen that sweet kiss that makes all the sorrows go away…poof… just like that.
It's on the evening of the next day that Santana finds herself in Brittany's bed, worn out from a long day of doing all kinds of stuff. She wouldn't even have known where to start if it wasn't for Brittany and her blackboard.
It feels good although she's exhausted. Phone calls, appointments, more lists and forms to fill out. She's glad that she didn't have to do it all on her own. Brittany took the day off to be with her. Tomorrow she'll have to go to work and Santana will have to do things on her own. It'll be ok though… she's motivated.
Because being here is so much better than staying at her mother's house. She didn't take it so well. Her mom. But Santana told her that it's for the best for both of them and that they will find a way to build a relationship as long as they both want it.
Her mother agreed eventually.
So the day was exhausting but that's not why she's lying under the thin sheets with her skin still sticky. Brittany's arm is resting on Santana's bare chest. Their limbs entangled after they had the most amazing sex ever since they started doing what they've been doing.
She has no idea where it came from. Something about living together makes them constantly want to touch each other and be close to one another. Maybe it'll go away after three weeks because they're going to get on each other's nerves so badly. But right now it doesn't feel like that.
It feels like this is something she could get used to.
To turn her head and to look at Brittany's relaxed expression. She's lying on her side, holding Santana in her arms. Maybe she's sleeping. Judging by her breathing though, she's still awake and just enjoying the aftermaths, too.
Santana kisses the forehead that's so close to her own. She tickles Brittany's arm because she knows the blonde loves the sensation.
She remembers how she said 'I love you' on the phone… how she could have said it yesterday when Brittany got that blackboard from the basement. How she could say it right now.
The "roomie" thing so isn't going to work. They're not roommates. Of course not. But they're also not in a settled relationship. Moving in together is something you do when you feel like it's absolutely the right thing to do. The next big step.
This wasn't the next step in their relationship. It was Brittany helping her out.
"What are you thinking about?" Brittany's soft voice confirms that she's not asleep. Santana sighs hardly notable.
"This and that… how I'm very thankful to be here. And that I don't want to ruin anything." If Brittany asks about her thoughts, then she'll have to expect an honest answer.
Her eyes open at the response. Their faces are so close. She doesn't look scared or insecure. Just curious.
"Ruin it? This?" She wants to know with a light squeeze to Santana's body. Santana nods.
"We're here… together. And everything feels so damn right. When I should feel lost."
Brittany examines her face.
"Isn't it a good thing that it feels right?"
Santana tries to give her a pointed look but it's kind of difficult when they're lying so close.
"You know what I mean." Santana softly pinches the skin on Brittany's arm to empathize her point. "We're enjoying the moment. To me it almost feels like we've been doing this forever. But it wouldn't be like this if my house was still standing. In fact, you'd be God knows where tending sheep or whatever you planned to do."
When she glances at Brittany, she can see the amused look on her face. Brittany chuckles.
"My aunt owns a horse ranch."
"Fine… you'd be riding horses. But you wouldn't be here in bed with me. We wouldn't be roommates."
Santana sighs. The thought almost hurts.
Brittany entangles herself from the intimate position. Santana already fears that she said the wrong thing. She watches how Brittany props her upper body up on her elbows. It gives Santana a very nice view… she clears her throat because this might not be the right moment to drool.
"Can we agree that the term 'roommates' doesn't fit us?" Brittany wants to know. Santana is somewhat taken by surprise.
"It doesn't?" She asks dumbly. Brittany shakes her head.
"No… we're not roommates. I've never had a roommate and I never want one."
Santana stares at Brittany's lips.
"Oh" She mumbles. She has no idea what to say. Luckily the blonde goes on.
"If we go down that road… we're going to do it right."
Still Santana has no idea what Brittany is talking about. But she's too scared to tell her to clarify. Because it does sort of sound like something she might like. She doesn't want to get disappointed in case Brittany talks about something completely different.
She doesn't know if that makes sense.
She's swamped with her own thoughts at this point.
"I ran away because this…" Brittany lets her eyes wander over Santana's naked body. "Thing between us scared me. You know that… but not the same way it did when it started to get a little more serious. It scared me to fully commit to my feelings. It still does. I don't know if feelings will ever not scare me. But when you said on the phone that…"
Santana hopes that Brittany won't repeat her words. She doesn't think she can take the feeling of embarrassment again.
"That you love me… I wanted to hang up the phone and make it unhappen because I thought it was unfair if I didn't say it back. But you deserve to hear those words. I don't want to disappoint you when I'm not ready. Which is stupid. I am ready. My fears just sometimes run me over. Not just sometimes. Always. I'm always scared to do things with potential to lose control. Loving someone… in that particular way has never happened to me before. I've always tried to be bigger than that… I don't know why."
Santana watches how Brittany lets her fingers run over Santana's stomach, lost in thoughts. When they reach a ticklish spot, Santana twitches.
"I just know that if you still want to be in a relationship with me then I want to do it right… after doing quite a few things wrong. I want to say and do the right things. I'm just still learning. Can you help me?"
She looks up into Santana's eyes.
Santana cups Brittany's cheeks to make them really look at each other. She leans in to press a kiss to Brittany's warm lips.
"We can only do it together." She mumbles afterwards. "I think we're on a track that's not so bad. I have to get my life back together. You're already helping me with that. I want to help you, too. We have to take things step by step. Just like you told me this morning… it's not so different when it comes to building a relationship."
Brittany seems to think about those words. Then she smirks at Santana.
"You're incredibly attractive when talking smart." She wiggles her eyebrows then leans in to get another kiss.
Santana wraps her arms around her neck and grabs Brittany's middle with her thighs to pull her on top of herself. When Brittany lets her weight press down on Santana, she feels sheltered.
They will find a way.
Maybe they're doing things a little different than the rest of the world but she doesn't care. As long as they feel comfortable, their world is ok.
The days after that pass quickly and slowly at the same time. Slow because there are many things she has to do that she doesn't like so much while Brittany is at work from early morning till the evening and quick because the hours they have together seem to go by in no time.
They enjoy every moment they get to share. When Brittany comes home and they cook something together or when they get to sleep in on the weekend. They'll have breakfast in bed and later on do the groceries.
The first thing they bought in the shopping mall were some underwear and socks for Santana. Brittany had written down a whole bunch of stuff on a little paper. She even thought of painkillers for Santana's bad migraines, as well as make up, a hairdryer and her own pillow and blanket.
Santana always blow dries her hair and was shocked when she found out that Brittany didn't have one. Also she doesn't like to share her blanket. She wants to wrap her legs around the blanket otherwise she will be too hot underneath it in no time. She likes to basically hug her blanket instead of getting covered by it.
This was never a problem because at her place she had two blankets for whenever Brittany stayed over. But Brittany only had these very thin sheets. There was nothing to hug so they bought a cozy duvet and a huge pillow for Santana after the second night.
You'd think that it was perfect but Santana woke up in the middle of the night to find Brittany all snuggled up under the same duvet. Her duvet. She even managed to sneak fifty percent of the pillow. Santana doesn't know how Brittany does it.
They will fall asleep perfectly fine, both on each side or Santana spooning Brittany – both underneath their own blanket. Several hours later she'll wake up nearly falling off the bed. Brittany spread across the bed like Jesus, sometimes even diagonally.
They will have to buy another set of duvet and pillow… and a bigger bed maybe.
But then again Santana finds herself not only annoyed but also amused at the same time. Because whenever Brittany finally rolls off her, taking some of the heat away, Santana immediately misses her. She'll be glad to have more space but she'll miss her. A bigger bed wont' change things.
Either way… Brittany has done nothing but sweet things. She made Santana a new mug of clay after the old one got burned in the house. She took care of Santana during an extra painful migraine the other day and she even called Loretta to ask if she'd come take Santana on a shopping tour for some new clothes that would actually fit her.
Maybe Brittany was tired of looking at her in those funny clothes, too.
Santana might have bought some fancy underwear on that occasion that she will use as a big thank you gesture one day.
What can she say… life sometimes takes unexpected turns but they can bring good things, too. They're enjoying what it is without putting a name to it, yet. Life is good this way. Taking things slow has never felt this sweet.
