Pan's labyrinth lullaby (Juan Navarrete, cover by A. Krishna)
My bosses told me there was nothing to worry about, the protests would make some noise during some time and then they would disappear on their own. But I was hearing the rumors, saw the demonstrations, heard the insults, felt worse and worse. The backache intensified so much I couldn't move. I saw myself baggy-eyed in the mirror, gaunt.
Then fever came. And with the fever, the deliriums.
I said a lot of silly things while I was like that. I saw things which were not there. Peasants from distant times...
('the harvest will be good this year', 'those savages have come and destroyed everything, everything...', 'it should start raining soon')
...diplomats and heads of state...
('arrange marriage would surely save the situation, but my sister is too much of a woman', 'of course, coronel, this dance is for you')
...my own brother...
"Sestra..."
"My little boy...What happened? Did they hurt you again?"
"Yes...It hurts so much...But I won't let them know."
"You can tell me, you know it. You don't have to act strong all the time. It's not good for the soul."
"It is now when I have to be strong...And you...They hurt you too..."
"Anything for my little ones..."
"Why did nobody tell me? Did they think I don't care about you anymore, damn it?"
"Ssssh. Easy, my boy...It's okay..."
"You're very sick..."
"I only want you to be happy...Even if you don't love me anymore..."
"I do love you, sestra..."
"I should have been a better nation."
"You've been very good. It was the government the one who was wrong. But now I'm in charge. I will do what they didn't dare to do, I'm going to crush those who hurt you."
"I should have been a better sister."
"You couldn't have been better."
"I shouldn't have let America get involved in our fight..."
"Sleep, sestra...When you wake up, all of this will be over."
"In a world with a bright and warm sun, filled with sunflowers, like you always dreamed of..."
The hallucinations were so vivid I felt a cold hand touching mine and how some warm lips kissed my sweaty forehead.
Sleep embraced me and when I woke up I found myself alone in my room, of course.
