Authors Note: I don't own GMW characters. This chapter get's a little rough so please hang in there and let me know what you think. Warning of abuse and self-harm. Reviews are welcome, just don't be too harsh. Enjoy!
Olivia stepped into her apartment quietly and slipped her shoes off so she wouldn't make a sound when sneaking into her room. She knows that had covered for her but she still didn't want to disturb her mom. She was hoping to talk to Kevin and find out what had happened but the eerie silence told her that he probably was already gone.
"You're little savior isn't here if that's what you're waiting for," Erin spoke quietly from the couch she was laying on, "You're late."
Olivia bit her lip, not sure if it was safe to answer or if she should just wait. Turns out waiting was the right thing to do because Erin had paused just for a moment before speaking again, "I know you were at the neighbors studying so I'll let it slide...this time."
"Did Kevin leave?"
"He'll be back, men like him always come back," Erin sat up and Olivia noticed how unfocused her mom's eyes were and that was all she needed to know it could be a long night if Kevin didn't get home soon, "Come over here and give your momma a kiss."
Olivia moved obediently towards her mother, her stomach knotted and something told her this was a very bad idea but it would be even worse if she disobeyed. She got close and pressed her lips lightly against her moms cheek, "Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Erin asked, her voice eerily calm.
"No, ma'am," her duty performed, Olivia stepped back hoping to get to her room but clearly her mom had other plans. She grabbed Olivia's arm as she turned to walk away, "Did I tell you that you could go?"
"No, ma'am," Olivia froze, knowing she had screwed up was worse than not knowing. It meant she had been careless and she knew better than to be careless when her mom was drunk.
Erin tugged Olivia close to her and grabbed her daughters chin with the other and forced her face up so that Olivia was looking right at her, "Where's your little hero now? Not here, that's for sure," she hissed, "Who's going to protect you now? No one. Poor little Livvy is going to have to learn to stand up for herself, are you brave enough to do that, girl?"
This was new territory and Olivia stayed frozen, there was no right answer to this but if she stood there it was asking for more but if she tried to run..."Stop thinking, Olivia. Quit trying to work out everything in that stupid little head of yours. Look at me," Erin tightened her hold on both Olivia's arm and chin, "Listen here, girl. It's time you learn that no one can save you but yourself. You're on your own in this cold cruel world and it's best you learned that now rather than later," Erin ran a finger down her daughter's face, "Such a pretty girl. Did you know that? That's all everyone would say when you were a baby and as you grew into a toddler. 'You have such a pretty baby, such a darling little girl, she's so cute, she's so precious,' you've only gotten more beautiful…"
"Mom, I...can I please go? I still have homework to do and I should.." Olivia was cut off when her mom slapped her face.
"Now you're lying to me?" Erin growled as she dug her nails into Olivia's arm and stood up, walking her daughter back against the wall and then using her free hand to slam Olivia's head back against it, "When did you become such a liar?" her hand wrapped around Olivia's throat and started to squeeze.
Olivia whimpered, "I'm not, I swear. We just did our history at Riley's. I still have math and english homework to do."
Another slap sent Olivia's head whipping to one side, "Liar. I don't tolerate lying, Olivia."
A flood of anger flowed through Olivia and she found the strength to shove her mom back, "You're the one sleeping with another guy. That's why you were fighting, wasn't it? Kevin wasn't enough for you so you had to find another guy to sleep with, is that what it was? You had to go and ruin another perfectly good relationship because no one is good enough for the great Erin Jackson. Do not call me a liar when you've been lying to EVERYONE about everything."
The anger in Erin's eyes scared Olivia but not enough where she could stop the words from flowing out of her mouth and she kept on talking as Erin's eyes got darker and darker, "The only thing I ever lie about is where these marks come from. I lie to protect you because if they lock you up then I'll have no one. Maybe I should stop lying, huh? Not much to lie about here though because for once in your life you were acting like a semi-decent drunk but can't keep that charade up now can we?" Without realizing it, Olivia had moved closer to her mom with every sentence and now they were practically toe to toe, "Maybe I'm done covering for you, maybe I've had it, then what?"
Olivia didn't even see her mom kicking her leg out and was shocked when she went sprawling back across the coffee table. Her arm flew out and she managed to soften her landing but her head still bounced against the wood table, "Don't you ever talk to me like that again, Olivia. This attitude you've cocked lately is getting old and I won't play nice much longer."
Olivia tried to focus her gaze but her head was pounding along with her wrist. The small surge of bravery she had just had disappeared and now she was terrified. Her mom loomed over her before grabbing her bad wrist and pulling Olivia up to a standing position. She started to cry out in pain but bit her lip. She felt woozy as her mom squeezed her wrist harder, little red marks that were sure to leave a bruise tomorrow, "We both know what I am capable of and I don't think you're wanting to test me," she shoved Olivia towards her bedroom and Olivia stumbled, "I don't want to see you until morning, go to bed."
Kevin unlocked the door to the apartment, not surprised it was dark in there. He saw the bottle of scotch on the counter and Olivia's shoes by the door. It was 1:30 in the morning. He hid the bottle of alcohol and put away the leftovers that were on the counter. He knew he should have cancelled his meeting after his discovery earlier because he knew Olivia would need him but he had to get out. He needed a break from whatever his relationship had become.
He walked down the hall and peeked in Olivia's room and saw her curled up in her window seat, her little lamp still on as she scribbled into a notebook. He was going to step in and say good night to her when he heard Erin from their bedroom, "It's about time you got home."
Olivia glanced up when she heard her mom's voice and saw Kevin standing in the doorway. She saw him hesitate but when he reached for her door she shook her head slightly and slipped out of her window to be on the balcony. He took that as a bad sign and made his way to the lady he had hoped to one day call his wife.
Olivia could hear them fighting from outside her room. She was surprised they hadn't gotten kicked out of their place yet but this was a newer building and from what she gathered, the only people around them were the Matthew's on the one side and an older lady who was deaf on the other. There was no one below them, thankfully.
Her head was still pounding and the dizziness had not yet gone away. Olivia was pretty sure she had a concussion and a sprained wrist but it wasn't smart to go to the doctor to find out for sure. Doctors ask questions and while something like this would normally be explained away by a fall off a bike, the bruising around her neck and wrist would be harder to cover. Youtube make-up tutorials had become her best friend and after some practice earlier, she had pretty much everything covered and looking normal. If you looked closely, the marks were still there but no one would be paying too much attention.
Olivia glanced at the clock and saw it was going on 3:30 in the morning and her mom and Kevin showed no sign of wrapping this fight up anytime soon. She wandered back inside and made sure her door was shut tightly and that she had a blanket covering the cracks in her door before she turned on her light. The pain of everything was too much and she couldn't take much more before she started screaming. She dug in her desk drawer and finally found the box cutter she had been looking for. She couldn't believe this was the person she was about to come but she needed that release. She needed her pain outside of her body and she rolled up the sleeve on her sweatshirt and made one small slice across the inside of her forearm. She grimaced as the knife sliced but the relief was immediate. She made two more cuts after the first before stopping.
She quickly grabbed the gauze from the first aid kit that she always kept in her room and quickly bandaged her wounds, "No more, once was enough. You're better than that," she whispered to herself as she put the last piece of medical tape in place.
Finally exhausted, Olivia crawled into bed. Tomorrow she would start. Tomorrow she would make sure she kept her distance from everyone, including Riley and Maya. This was her mess and she wasn't about to drag someone as sweet and innocent as Riley into it. Maya would probably understand but Olivia didn't want to risk it.
She reached up and pulled the string on her fan and darkness fell over her room. She snuggled under her comforter and kept her sore wrist pressed against her body. Tomorrow she would do damage control but until then, she just wanted to sleep.
