Chapter 45.
Sarah suggested Sam and Dean's room upstairs for the experiment. There were comfortable beds for Cas and Dean to lie on and chairs for Sam and Sarah. Dean was worried about Cas, whose face was unreadable.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked him, "And don't say yes just because you think I need you to do it."
"I'm sure." said Cas.
"Because we don't have to do this." said Dean.
"Just try." said Sarah, "Make yourselves comfortable."
Dean gave her a look, but he got onto his bed and settled himself. Over on Sam's bed, Cas looked like a sacrifice, laid out to be killed. Dean wished he didn't remember the last time they had tried to make use of the mind link here and he, in that terrible dream, had tortured Cas.
He was about to say they shouldn't do this, when Sarah said, "I want you to just use the link to convey one piece of information. Each give the other one phrase. If it's transmitted successfully, we will know you can both control the link to some degree. You should also try to alter the situation to something unthreatening and positive. Meet in a safe place."
"We'll be right here." said Sam, "And if either of you shows any sign of distress, we'll try to wake you. You should also be able to consciously break free if you need to."
"If you want to stay longer and talk more than you need to to convey the phrase, go ahead. The more time you spend using the link, the more control you will gain." said Sarah.
Dean took off his talisman and handed it to Sam. "Don't lose this." he said
"I won't." said Sam.
Cas gave his to Sam too. Sam put both into his pocket.
"How do we do this?" said Dean.
"Just close your eyes and let it happen." said Sam, "Good luck."
At first, there was just swirling fog for Dean and he thought it wasn't going to work. Then he heard Cas say, "Over here, Dean." He went towards the sound and found himself in a place he knew.
"Bobby's library?" he said to Cas, who was looking out of the window.
"One or both of us consider this a safe place." said Cas, "I'm not sure which of us created it, but it's acting as a buffer zone between our minds"
"That's good. So you're not getting any of my Hell stuff for now?"
"None so far." said Cas, "But I am getting how tired you are. I could put you to sleep here, if you like."
"You don't think that might worry them a little? Anyway, my dreams would be dangerous to you."
"There's the first strand of guilt. Dean, you need to push that thought away."
"Okay, tell me your phrase."
"I've thought of one you won't easily guess, Non omnis moriar."
"What does that mean? Moriar is die, right?"
"Look it up when we get out of here." said Cas, "What's your phrase?"
"Rhonda Hurley." said Dean.
Cas smiled. "Do I get more information?"
"You're a little young for that information." said Dean.
"Dean, I'm literally older than time."
"Yeah and still too young to hear about me and Rhonda Hurley."
"How do you feel?" said Cas.
"Trying not to, right now." said Dean, "You?"
"I'm okay." said Cas.
"I never wanted to reactivate the mind curse." said Dean. He heard himself say, "That isn't true." and quickly said, "Okay, that's not true, but I never wanted you to have to suffer it again."
"I've tried to stay out of your mind, to leave your thoughts alone. I hate that I just heard that one." said Cas, "I know how you hate the intrusion." Without him saying it, Dean heard clearly, "Don't hate me."
"Not gonna happen." said Dean, "Not ever gonna happen. Whatever happens here, it's all okay." The words rippled through the room, "I tortured you."
"Dean, no guilt." said Cas, "If we start setting off each other's guilt, this will become very painful, very fast."
"Let's talk about something else." said Dean, "I told Sarah we could ask some of the offworlders to do some farmwork in exchange for a place to stay. That way, she can get some chickens. Maybe even a few cows."
"Wonderful idea!" said Cas, "She really misses having them."
Dean picked up a silver flask. "Hey, whisky! To Bobby!" he took a swig and passed the flask to Cas.
"Bobby." said Cas, drinking some himself.
Dean walked around the room, enjoying the security and familiarity of Bobby's old house in Sioux Falls. Then he found something unfamiliar, a corridor with a long line of doors, all bolted and secured with large padlocks. "What's this?" he said.
Cas was at his side. "I think this is all the places we each hope the other will not go." he said.
"Okay, That's weird and metaphorical." said Dean. "Shall we talk about Jules?" Suddenly, three iron-studded wooden doors, one after the other, appeared in the middle of the corridor and slammed loudly shut. "I'm gonna take that as a no." said Dean.
"Sorry." said Cas.
"No, it's fine. That's private."
"We can talk about her out there," said Cas, "But in here ... "
"Too much risk of the subtext spelling itself out?" said Dean.
"Yes."
"But you do love her, Cas." Another door appeared and slammed shut. "Okay, received and understood. We are not discussing Jules."
