Chapter 29: Heart of the Ocean
The Captain of the infamous Jolly Roger was entrusting his life to her...more than that...his heart...the blonde savior could see it in his eyes though she couldn't fathom the how or the why or even the when, but it didn't change what she saw in those deep blue orbs. Killian Jones...he was in love with Artz. It's impossible...that meant it was real because when it came to her friend, the impossible was her normal… typical Artz.
"I can never hate her because I love her." The blonde stated softly but with absolute certainty, those words ringing so completely true in her heart.
She heard the shocked gasp that came from the ginger's direction and the sounds of suppressed sobs. Her friend, her best friend...she was crying and it was all her fault. The red head had believed that she didn't truly care for her and for once, she had been wrong.
Now she needed to explain the supposedly sudden change and how she truly felt...something she would have never done in front of anyone, let alone to an entire crowd. Emma refused to be a coward so no matter the consequences, she was going to be bluntly honest and like Artz, hope for the best because she needed the crimson haired woman to know how she truly felt. She'd deal with the embarrassment of this whole fiasco later.
"I don't know what's going on or why i kept feeling the opposite of what I truly felt. I honestly don't know how she could possibly stay around me...i hurt her so badly but she never left me. She never abandoned me...she never gave up. She should have, she had every right to drop my ass like a bad habit because what I did, all the things I said...I was a complete and total bitch to her.
Back in Storybrooke, I never trusted her but some part of me knew that was wrong and that I actually did trust her. I had the audacity to call her my friend, my best friend, but our relationship was so shallow. I yelled at her, blaming her for so much when none of it was her fault. I was always demanding answers and forcing information out of her.
My words and actions before now...it wasn't me! I swear it wasn't! I know that it's meaningless to say this because it doesn't change anything, but I'm sorry. I am so terribly sorry...for everything. She deserves so much more and I sure as hell don't deserve her; her kindness, her friendship, her love.
I am not worthy of her, not after...all of this, but it won't stop me from trying to be. I know nothing that I say or do from now on will ever make up for the past and I'll do all I can to make a better future, but right now, I can make things a little bighter for her by telling the truth. I honestly love being with her, spending time with her, watching her be a total goof just to get me to smile, and sweet Menti Celesti, I love watching her sass people.
She just smirks like a badass and drops a bucket of sarcasm and satire on their heads then walks away while they are gaping like overgrown fish. The way she sees the world, so simple yet so entirely unique. A normal conversation with her goes completely bonkers because she starts spouting off the wisdom of the ages then looks at you and asks why you're so quiet, never realizing just how she blind sides you with such simple truths...oblivious to us yet completely obvious to her.
You think the bitchy ass princess back there is a glutton for punishment...Artz is the poster child for being a glutton of emotional abuse. I screamed at her all the time and she just let me do it even though I was shattering her heart because she just wanted to help, even if it meant that she got hurt in the process.
She is way too fucking kind but damn it if she isn't strong. I have no idea how she can be so strong, yet still so incredibly fragile. She's a whole hell of a lot stronger than me and she doesn't make any bloody sense. I honestly wish that she was the Savior instead of me. I never wanted that stupid title and all the dramatic bullshit that went with it, but Artz...she saves people. That's the kind of person that she is...the person she has always been and always will be.
She saved the Huntsman back in Storybrooke, she saved Philip by simply being there...and here, right here in this very encampment...she saved all of these people. She pulled off a miracle and miracles are impossible and if something is impossible, Artz is definitely involved because for her, the impossible is her normal.
I knew...I knew the moment I felt that pulse of magic. I knew it was her and there are no words to describe just how proud I am of her. She's amazing and wonderful, a sassy little shit, ridiculously kind and compassionate… she's brilliant and clever...I would call her a genius but that would be more of an insult than a compliment."
This comment resulted in quite a few people snorting in amusement or murmuring in agreement while nodding their heads sagely. They had all seen her numerous talents, but had never acted like she was superior. In fact, the opposite...it was why they had tried to encourage her so much and help her as much as possible.
The blonde haired Savior kept on rambling, her emotions practically hemorrhaging out of her. She kept her eyes on the blue eyed pirate captain that stood before her, listening to every word she was saying and understood what she was trying to convey, knowing that if he stopped her now that it would do more harm than good...especially when her emotions shifted and was actually full on crying, the pain in her eyes actually breaking his heart because she truly was sorry and genuinely cared for their favorite red head.
"I'm ashamed. I know that I deserve to feel pretty damn shitty, but I am drowning in guilt right now. Everything I have said and done has hurt her, even now I am hurting her and I don't want to do that anymore. Please...tell me how to stop this. How do I let go because I really, really want to hug the living daylights out of her right now?
This past year feels like a nightmare and I can't find anything to hold onto. I just want to forget it all and start again. I want to make things right, but I don't know how or even where to begin. Is there anything I can do? I mean...I know she'll forgive me because she's Artz, but how the hell can I possibly forgive myself?"
His oceanic hued eyes softened in understanding, a gentle smile appearing on his face. He took her other hand and held both of them in between his, an action resulting in a strange calmness falling over her.
"As much as I would like to give you the answers you seek, I honestly don't know and I won't bother pretending like I understand because this whole opposite emotions thing is completely mad, but under no circumstances are you allowed to forget. Always remember, Swan Lake, otherwise you'll end up making the same mistakes.
As for being worthy, I'm called the Scourge of the Sea and is considered to be one of the most infamous pirates to ever plague the seas. I'm classified as a villain, love, and you, whether you like it or not, you're the Savior. Your light magic is proof of that.
If a savior can't be worthy of that gorgeous goddess then there's no way I could ever be worthy either, but you know what? Whether or not we're worthy, that decision isnt up to us. It's up to her and you're right, she is impossible...and quite huggable." He started making her smile a little with his last comment,
"Truth is, Swan Lake, you and me, we're a lot alike. We both want to help her, to protect her, to love her, to make her as happy as we possibly can. For me...she is my star. The star I have been searching for since I was a child, my very own star that shined just for me.
I am curious though. What is she to you? You've said friend and best friend yet you say you love her. What place does she hold in your heart? Look, I know I'm not explaining this very well. Words are her thing, not mine." Killian continued eliciting a snort of amusement from the blonde savior,
"She is my star and I am her captain. To her, you are her sister...what is she to you?"
The moment he said sister, her eyes snapped over to the crimson haired woman. She was breathing hard, her hands flickering on and off with blue light, but she wasn't struggling as badly as before. Seeing all those people gathered around her, supporting her, seeing just how much she cared, the impact she had on others...Emma knew. There was only one answer she could give because it was the only one that Artz would believe to be true...the only one that she would accept as the truth.
"My Doctor." Emma stated quietly, no uncertainty in her voice and then it hit her.
Her eyes closed of their own accord and her legs gave out. Killian managed to catch and guide her safely to the ground. She tried to reopen her eyes, wanting nothing more than to see her...to see her friend...the one that never gave up on her, that stayed with her, that so readily offered her an eternal friend, that loved her like a sister.
I don't deserve you, Artz, none of us do...I don't know what I can do or what awaits us in the future, but I swear...you won't go through it alone...because I believe, I will always believe because you are my doctor, My Artz...my sister in all but blood… though I'm pretty certain that we could fix that...if Rumple and Ingrid don't kill me first...oh crap, Regina is going to roast me alive...
Small hands touched her face, her thoughts scattering. They felt a lot cooler than she did right now. Her entire body felt like a dead weight, completely unresponsive to her mental commands. Did she have to mention roasting because every part of her felt like liquid fire or maybe lava?
Why was she so hot and why was everything so muffled? So many voices… like she was deep underwater or like when a radio had really low reception with the bass turned way up. It was hard to distinguish who was actually talking but she did feel the pair of small cool hands checking her over while a larger pair of hands, quite cold actually, was holding onto her rather tightly.
The heat was unbearable...it felt like she was melting from the inside out. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak...she was just burning...until one spot became hotter than the rest...her heart. Her hearing started coming back and she heard Killian grunting in pain.
What was happening to him? Why was he in pain? What the heck was happening to them? Feeling began returning to her limbs as the heat started converging all at her heart. The lava like sensation moved sluggishly through her body, leaving some rather painful muscles and nerves and a god awful sunburn feeling like she had a heat stroke.
Her mouth opened slightly as the pain surrounding her heart became just shy of utter agony but only a small squeaky sound came out and the man holding her started to shake uncontrollably, his grunts of pain becoming cries of another kind. She couldn't tell if he was in agony or having the best sex of his life.
What the holy living hell was happening to them? Was she somehow hurting him, but that couldn't be right? Her magic didn't hurt him before so why would it be hurting him now? Was all the heat being generated from her magic being channeled into him? Was he trying to save her? How was he doing this?
Artz.
It was Artz...thats it. It wasn't Killian that was saving her but the impossible ginger that simply did not know when to quit. She must be using her captain as some kind relief valve...like an overflow causeway for a dam, but like before, her magic didn't harm the pirate captain that called Artz his star.
She mentally winced as her brain worked it out. The biggest factor was speed, second factor was intensity, and the third factor was the magic itself. Since her magic didn't hurt the dark clad pirate that meant that a different magic was being pushed into him. Only two people had active magic here and that was her and Artz, meaning that the redhead was channeling her magic into Killian and taking the blonde's magic into herself.
It was the only thing her frazzled mind could come up with, but why him? Why risk her captain to help her? Burning the candle at both ends...shit...if Artz tried to take her magic into herself while her own magic was still present...a human candle, but was her magic hurting Artz?
She honestly hoped not because she had already inflicted more than enough damage to her sister and she didn't want to add to it. She had enough to make up for already. Not to mention that she owed the Crimson Savior a long list of apologies...she cried out in acute pain, her thoughts scattering once again.
Put the damn fire out already! Emma heard her birth mother's voice, begging Artz to hurry, that neither of them would last much longer. Snow...she sounded so different. Did she not hate the redhead anymore? Did she break through the false emotions too?
The last bit of heat was pulled out of her body as she heard Killian scream, somewhere between agony and ecstasy. Exhaustion set in, her body shutting down from the intense surge of relief that was flooding her entire system like a tidal wave. The blonde haired savior was definitely losing the battle to stay conscious. Her final thought was kind of stupid and held no connection to what just happened.
What was her sister's captain doing that required so much physical activity?
