Reconstructing Rome
By Indygodusk
Chapter 28
"Rome has not seen a modern building in more than half a century. It is a city frozen in time."
RICHARD MEIER
The guards in front of the Ancient lab continued ignoring her as she cried, so she pretended they weren't there either because she felt too miserable to move. As her crying finally wound down she heaved a trembling sigh, put a hand on the wall, and pushed herself to her feet, staggering back to the bathroom.
When she looked in the mirror, she saw that the tip of her ear was bright red and scratched bloody. Her left cheek was also scratched and swollen with embedded particles of brick. Undoing her tunic, Meredith saw that her torso was mottled an angry red. Pink lines of abrasion crisscrossed her pregnant belly.
"I'm so sorry baby," she whispered, gently touching her one of the scratches and wincing. She moved her hand to rub against her side where the baby's weight rested more heavily. "Are you okay in there?" The baby kicked out her foot, pressing into Meredith's palm. Fresh tears trickled down her swollen cheek. Meredith sniffed hard and cupped her hand around the tiny bulge. "Mommy's got you. It's okay." The baby shifted and the pressure disappeared.
Swallowing convulsively, Meredith turned on the water and began washing away the blood and grit. The noise of the mob outside made her think of high school. Maybe she should just pretend she was a child genius being bullied again. Being shoved in a locker or bloodied behind the bleachers hadn't really been that bad, especially when she had the ability to blow up their cars, hack the credit cards of their parents, and plant evidence in their lockers. After a while, she'd gotten a reputation and the bullies had left her alone. She'd survived that just fine and she'd survive this too, though back then she'd only had to look after herself, not anyone else.
Meredith wanted to stay hiding in the bathroom but was afraid of what might happen if Councilor Santoro came back and noticed her not working. Julian didn't like Santoro but he also had to answer to the Council and not the other way around. Julian couldn't protect her. For all she knew, he wouldn't protect her. After all, he'd been the one to kidnap and put her in this danger in the first place. Sometimes he acted as if he really cared about her and the baby, but she didn't know if she could trust it.
Meeting her pink rimmed eyes in the mirror, Meredith tied her tunic shut and smoothed back her hair. "Nothing's changed. You'll be fine. Sure, no one really cares about you, certainly not enough to put you first or go out of their way to save you, but that's normal. You know how to do this alone. You're a genius, remember? You'll be fine. You can't risk being found useless so, just like always, you're going to save the day and make them value you."
Chin going up, she felt a sudden swell of emotion. "And when this baby comes, you're going to make sure her life is completely different. She's not going to be like you, she's going to be better. She's going to know she's wanted and loved. Anyone who gets in the way of that is in for a rude awakening."
Schooling her expression, she returned to the lab.
For a brief moment when Julian gaped at seeing the wounds on her face, she thought she'd been wrong about him. He looked upset and shocked. He looked like he cared. If he wanted to touch her or give her a hug, she'd let him. Julian's eyes moved over her shoulder to look at the useless guards. His mouth opened in ire.
Then from the corner of her eye, Meredith saw one guard make a strange gesture. About to stand, Julian suddenly froze in an awkward hunch. After a count of three, his mouth slid shut without any words being said. He dropped into his seat, lowered his eyes, and returned to his work, expression closing down until it looked like he was carved from stone.
Meredith stared at his face incredulously, but he didn't look up again, didn't ask how she'd gotten hurt or why she'd been gone so long. He didn't do anything.
Any and all affection she'd built up for Julian over the months of her captivity died at that moment.
Pressing her lips flat, Meredith nodded in understanding and returned to her work. Nothing had changed. She was an unparalleled genius and would figure out how to rescue herself. She'd be fine.
After a while, the noise of the mob outside got so loud it penetrated even the lab doors. The formless shouting had turned into unintelligible chanting. Meredith threw a balled-up piece of paper at Julian's back. "Are you going to take care of that? Because it's distracting and I can't concentrate. Go find out what's going on and make them stop."
Kicking aside the paper projectile, Julian didn't look over. "You aren't my boss you know. I'm an important man doing important work."
She snorted. "So important you had to kidnap me. You know I'm smarter than you. I should be your boss." She tossed another ball of paper, meanly pleased when he flinched as it hit his head and tangled in his hair. "As the President of this place, maybe you should go and find out what that mob wants. If it's the students rioting, they might quiet down if they see you. Smart people like me need silence to work." And if she couldn't concentrate she might end up in Councilor Santoro's clutches.
Chair scraping against the stone floor, Julian yanked the paper out of his hair and jumped to his feet. "I'm sick and tired of your empty bragging. If you're so smart, why haven't you figured out how to get the shield down yet?"
Because so far the Ancients had proven themselves even smarter, but telling the people here that had proved to be pointless.
"What good are you?!" Julian shouted.
Crossing her arms on top of her belly, the corner of her mouth drooped down. "If you think that, why did you kidnap me in the first place?"
"Because I had to do something besides just give up on my family legacy like everyone else!" Julian cut his hands through the air. "I did what had to be done."
She met his eyes coldly. "You did what was easy. You could've done a hundred other things besides kidnap me, starting with talking to me about your problem instead of jabbing me in the neck with a needle and dragging me through the stargate. You're a thug and a bully. That's your legacy." Meredith touched a finger to the scab on her cheek and glared.
"Dr. Aquila?" One of the guards stuck his head past the curtain. "Someone wants to talk to you."
Breathing heavily, Julian spun on his toes and stomped out without another word.
Meredith returned to her work. Eventually, the sounds of the mob faded.
When Julian finally came back hours later, he stopped and looked at her with a sad expression. She thought he was going to give her an apology, but she was once again disappointed. "We need to go back to the house. I need to talk to both you and Ava and I only want to explain this once."
"Explain what?" she demanded, even as she got up and began tidying her workstation in preparation to leave.
Julian shook his head and wouldn't meet her eyes. "Just wait."
Back at the house, Ava had just started feeding her son dinner so Julian decided to put off the talk until after. When Ava saw Meredith's face she immediately put down her spoon. "Oh no, what happened!"
Opening her mouth to release a tirade, Meredith stopped when she saw Lucas's brown eyes go wide. "Mewith booboo?" He stood up on his chair and reached out to gently touch her cheek with a furrowed brow. "Didja fall? Fallin' hurts."
Releasing a slow breath, Meredith nodded. "Yeah, my face fell into a wall. Twice." She cut her eyes over to Ava challengingly.
Ava's eyes widened in shock. "What?" Eyes narrowing, she growled "I'm going to—"
Out of the corner of her eye, Meredith saw Julian shift in his chair. Ava looked over at him in outrage and he made the same sort of gesture as the guard.
It stopped her cold. Turning away, Ava pressed a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she told Meredith thickly. "You deserve better. It isn't fair and I'm so so sorry. I wish I could… I'll just… go and get you some dinner. I'm sorry."
"Sowwy," Lucas repeated before glancing towards where his mother had disappeared and then turning back with a grin. "Wanna play hockey?"
"Best offer I've had all day," Meredith said, sitting down across from Lucas with a heavy sigh.
On top of all her bruises and scrapes, her ankles were painfully swollen. Ava came back with a plate of mystery meat and beans, which was perfect for playing bean hockey with a toddler. Lucas had gotten good at using his canned beans as pucks and could keep score up to five. Unlike most kids she'd had the misfortune to meet, Lucas had a sunny disposition, a clever (for a three-year old) mind, and was eager to please. If she scored a goal against his bib, she made him eat it. If he successfully got a bean onto her belly, she ate one of the beans off his plate when his mother wasn't looking, though Meredith knew that Ava was humoring them both.
"T'ree an' one!" Lucas called in a serious and high-pitched voice, waiting for Meredith's nod and his mother's distraction before attempting another goal.
Dinner ended and Lucas was sent off to play in his room before bedtime, though not before giving Meredith a sticky hug. "G'nigh', Mawith!"
"Goodnight, kid." She patted his back awkwardly and used her napkin to clean off the residue he'd left on her tunic as best she could after he let go. Ava gave her a closed-mouth smile, took Lucas's hand, and led him away.
The tension in the room thickened. Julian moved to the window, staring out at the neverending clouds and brooding. He refused to explain anything to Meredith alone, so she was forced to stare out the window at the patrolling guards until Ava returned. She sat quietly in her chair since moving made the aches on her body flare-up. Escape was impossible. With her current slow waddle, there was no way Meredith could outrun the guards, much less escape the perpetually lit grounds without detection, not that there was anywhere she could go even if she did escape.
"Alright, Julian, what's the big secret?" Ava asked curtly as she returned. She plopped down and propped her feet up on another chair with a sigh. Meredith promptly followed Ava's example to relieve her swollen ankles and make sure Julian didn't try to sit nearby.
Julian closed the curtains and turned to face them. "Today in the lab, Meredith noticed a brand new program running on the God Machine." He looked her way.
"Yeah," Meredith nodded cautiously, "earlier in the day before I got beat up. I tried to track it down but didn't have any luck getting access or figuring out what it was doing before it disappeared." She grimaced. "Why?"
"And what does it have to do with me?" Ava's feet dropped off the chair. "Or is this about Lucas being the only blessed one we have left? You know he's too young to fix things, Julian. He's just a toddler!"
Rubbing hands down his thighs, the crease between Julian's brow grew. "No, it's not about Lucas, not exactly. Another one of Meredith's theories was proven right today."
"Ha!" Meredith slapped the table.
Her grin disappeared when Julian glared and her and said starkly, "People are dead. That strange phenomenon, the one where we found a man dead of starvation after a few minutes in the bathroom, turned out to be some sort of time field and two more of them appeared in the city today. Lucas's best friend Martin and half his block were trapped in one of them. To us, it only lasted thirty minutes. To them, it was years."
Ava gave a pained noise and paled. "I almost sent Lucas over there for a playdate today. Praise God I didn't." She flicked her hands from lips to heart. "Is Martin…?" She pressed a hand to her chest and swallowed.
"He's alive." Copying her gesture, Julian continued his story. "A pair of guards saw a glowing field appear. One pushed his way inside to try to help the people inside. His partner reported that with each step his voice became higher pitched until impossible to understand, until he became a blur and disappeared, only to reappear a second later with one of the families. They tried to leave the field but the ones in the front slowed and got stuck like ants in honey. No one could get out. The people at the back of the group disappeared but the two at the front seemed to starve to death in the space of a minute, their bodies becoming emaciated, falling to the ground, and rotting just as quickly."
"Gross," Meredith grimaced. "There's definitely a malfunction happening there. Who would want a field that only lets people in, not out? At the very least the people in front should've been able to retreat instead of getting stuck."
Pulling in a deep breath, Julian crossed and uncrossed his arms. "No one notified me and the AEC until the angry mob came demanding answers and assurances I couldn't give. I've made sure that the guard knows to call me if it happens again. Councilor Santoro supposedly informed them that the AEC didn't need to be bothered anymore because his Science Ministry would be taking the lead from now on, even though the full council has voted on no such thing!"
Ava leaned forward. "But what happened to Martin and his family? He survived?"
Julian rubbed his mouth and nodded. "The field disappeared on its own after thirty minutes. That's when we discovered that half an hour for us was fourteen years inside." Ava gasped and Meredith swallowed hard, feeling claustrophobic at the thought and grateful it hadn't been her. "Martin is now a father at seventeen with a wife and babe on his hip. The people inside survived because of the giant water tower and food warehouse recently constructed on their block. Martin's father is an Engineer trained by the AEC. He and his neighbors figured out how to construct a water purification and sanitation system. It's why they survived."
"Praise God," Ava said shakily.
Nodding, Julian dropped down into a chair. "The people trapped in the second time field weren't so lucky. They didn't have supplies or knowledgeable leaders. When the field dropped, the guards found only skeletons. Rumors quickly spread and people panicked, forming a mob that tried to storm the AEC and the God machine. A time field could form anywhere, making nowhere safe. Not only that, but the food storehouse on Martin's block was our largest." He rubbed his face. "What wasn't eaten by those trapped inside is either stale or rotten. Rationing will become even stricter now. People are scared. The council is scared. "
Meredith shivered, her mind churning over nightmare scenarios of getting trapped in a time field and being forced to give birth by herself, only for both her and the baby to starve to death, her genius proving utterly useless. She wrapped her arms around the baby in her belly. "I don't want to die here."
Julian yanked his hair. He looked desperate. "I don't want you to die either. I don't want anyone to die! We need to figure this out. I need you to help me because I can't do this on my own. I tried and I can't. I'm not my mother. I'm just me and I need you to help me fix this! I'm not blessed but I refuse to believe I'm cursed either. The Aquila family wouldn't have Lucas if God had blocked his song from our ears."
"But Lucas is too young to be around the machine!" Ava got up and started to pace. "He doesn't understand what's needed and his mind wanders, which is normal for kids his age. You're pushing him too hard as is! I'm almost afraid that he's to blame for these time fields because the last time we tried to force him to operate the God machine he got frustrated with all the complicated orders and bored that everything was taking so long and threw a huge tantrum until I was forced to take him home. What if he accidentally turned on the program that's killing people because he just wanted time to move faster so he could go home and play?" Voice thick, she swallowed back a sob and pressed a hand over her eyes. "What if this is all our fault?"
Meredith heaved herself to her feet. "Don't be stupid. The shield was broken even before you put him in there, isn't that what you told me? It wouldn't go down and you were starving. You'd be dead already if you hadn't put Lucas in there. Maybe he did turn on the time fields but accidents happen. We all know he didn't do anything bad on purpose. I don't know many kids and dislike most of those I do, but Lucas is different. He's the best kid I've ever met, even with the stickiness and noise."
Looking over at Meredith gratefully, Ava gave her a small, closemouthed smile.
The look made Meredith uncomfortable, like she could fix not just Ava's current worries, but everything else too. It made her add, "But even though we know that, other people are stupid. Keep your theories quiet, just in case people start looking for a scapegoat or Lucas hears and develops crippling guilt that makes him refuse to have anything to do with the Machine ever again, alright?"
Patting Ava on the arm, Meredith turned to look at Julian. "From now on, we can focus our efforts on finding that new program again. It's probably what caused the time dilation fields. If we can lock it down, that may be the key to fixing the shielding too and getting us all out of here." She pointed a finger at Julian, "I'm telling you that there is definitely a second machine, though, one we have to find. That or the ZPM powering everything. It's going to take a miracle to fix this otherwise and I don't believe in miracles."
Shoulders going back, Julian nodded. "I'm going to petition the Council to do a house by house search for a second God machine." He turned. "Ava, I know our family has always forbidden anyone from making pictures of the God Machine, but I think we're going to have to distribute one to let people know what to look for since my general inquiries have yielded nothing."
Moving to her brother's side, Ava pressed her lips tight and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I don't like it, but I understand why. You're already too busy. I can take lead on that search once you get approval. I don't think God could fault us, but just in case I'll request a meeting with Solutus Cantus and explain the situation while requesting extra prayers from the temple. Perhaps it will prompt a holy revelation to lead us out of our current difficulties. I do believe in miracles."
Meredith's belly cramped unexpectedly, stealing her breath. Dinner must've given her a bad case of gas and indigestion. It couldn't be the baby because she wasn't ready for the baby so her daughter better stay where she was if she knew what was good for her. Rubbing her side to try and relieve the ache, Meredith asked, "So is birdcage man in charge of the temple?"
"Who?" The siblings looked at her blankly.
"Birdcage man," Meredith traced her hands above her head to outline the hairstyle. "Salute Can-whatever, the guy you're talking about. Is he in charge of everything? Or just a flunky?"
"Meredith!" Ava looked scandalized. "You can't talk about a holy man like that!"
Looking up at his sister, Julian's eyes creased. "It does sort of look like a birdcage, doesn't it?"
Ava snorted in amusement and then slapped a hand over her mouth. She punched Julian's shoulder. "Stop, the both of you are horrible! He hasn't said what his hat is and until he does, I'm not going to ask. I'm going to have to say extra prayers for your souls tonight as is."
She looked over at Meredith. "Solutus Cantus is the successor to the Vox Pura, he whose pure voice guides the people to become closer to God. The Vox Pura never leaves the temple. Until Solutus Cantus takes his place as the next head of the church, he spends time getting to know our people by sitting on the Council and various committees and meeting with petitioners. He is very much not a flunky! He deserves our respect!" She pointed a finger at Meredith, who rolled her eyes and looked away so she didn't have to promise anything out loud.
Groaning, Ava rubbed her head. "Okay, how about this. I respect him a lot. As a personal favor to me, I'd appreciate you trying to speak about him with respect and kindness or not at all."
Meredith wrinkled her nose. "Not talking about him at all is probably my best option."
A rapid knock on the door preceded the door popping open to admit Lucas. "Mommy, I'm tired. I wanna story and cuddle." He ran over and climbed up onto his uncle's lap as a step stool before throwing himself over into his mother's arms. She caught him before he could topple her over or face plant himself onto the floor.
"I could take him," Julian offered, already rising from his chair.
"No! Mommy!"
Ava pulled Lucas around to sit more comfortably on her hip and pressed a kiss into his dark hair, breathing him in. "That's fine, my sweet. Mommy loves you. Say goodnight to everyone."
Lucas tucked his head under his mother's chin and waved his hand. "Night Uncle Julu, night Mawith!" A huge yawn broke across his face.
"Goodnight," they both echoed.
Julian looked jealous as Ava bore her son away. It wasn't the first time she'd noticed the expression on his face around Lucas. Meredith wondered why he was still single if he wanted children so much. Even after Ava was gone he kept staring after them.
Although Meredith had certainly never wanted children, that point was moot now. She was getting one and that daughter was going to feel wanted and loved even if it killed her—Meredith, not her daughter, though the birth, teenage years, and first Ph.D. were certain to test her resolve. Whatever the case, Meredith was getting a daughter and she was going to be the wonderful and supportive mother she'd always wanted in her own life. Backing down from a challenge wasn't in her nature. Her daughter would never be told that she was useless and unlovable. Her daughter would be beautiful and smart and happy and have every advantage Meredith could give her.
Meredith just had to get them out of this prison first.
Weariness swamped her. She yawned hard, making her body sway and the scratches on her cheek sting. She should ask to return to the lab tonight to work on finding that new time program, but her body revolted, aching and sapped of strength, her thoughts going fuzzy. She was frustrated that she couldn't work like she used to anymore but she also had to cut herself a bit of slack. It had been a really bad day in a year of bad days. She yawned again and, careful of her bruises, stretched her back, surrendering to the inevitable. She was tired. Everything on Manudia made her tired. Work would have to wait.
"I'm going to bed," she announced, looking up to see Julian focused on her. He watched her like he wanted something, his eyes dark and intense. It made her uneasy. She stood up. "I'm tired."
"Wait. Meredith, I…." Licking his lips, his eyes traced across her face before sliding down to linger appreciatively on the swell of her breasts, which had gotten huge in the last month. His eyes dropped to the swell of her belly with just as much yearning. "You have to have noticed that…" he trailed off, throat bobbing as he swallowed. Red darkened his cheekbones beneath the shadowed crescent of his eyelashes. He moved closer. "You have to have noticed how I look at you, how I want you. I've never met a woman like you, so incredibly smart and sexy. With the way things are going we might not have many more chances. Come to bed with me. I'd take care of you. And I want you both, I'd raise your babe as my own. She'll need a father. Please, Meredith, the nights must be as lonely and long for you as they are for me. I offer you companionship and pleasure." He held out his hand for her to take, desire and demand clear on his face. "Let me love you."
Meredith was tired. She'd noticed Julian's desire. She'd noticed but pretended not to. It was too much, a hungry and selfish thing. He wanted her superiority tamed and harnessed beneath his hand. He wanted her to fix his problems. He wanted her to give him a baby. He wanted the pleasures of sex and partnership.
Since coming to Manudia, Meredith's mind never settled. Her body ached constantly. She'd give just about anything to see Jeannie and John again, the people she missed most from Earth, the only people she thought might be willing to come if she called in need. The likelihood of seeing them again became smaller with every passing day. Hope had dimmed to a lone firefly far off on the far edge of a vast field infested with hungry frogs. She hated frogs.
And she was so very tired. She thought she might care for Julian despite herself, daily exposure wearing her down. It might be nice to have a warm body to hold her close and share in pleasure, to feel not so alone all of the time. It might be nice to surrender and just give in... but Meredith didn't have anything left in her tank to give Julian, barely had anything left for him to take. She was already running on empty. She couldn't rely on him. No matter what his reasons or the depth of his feelings, he'd already taken too much from her. Giving in to him might make her life here easier, but Meredith had never been much concerned with nice and easy.
Swallowing to wet her tongue, she stepped back. The Meredith of before would've snapped at him or condescendingly explained, but that Meredith had been lost months ago. This Meredith needed her breath for more important things. Julian didn't qualify. "I'm tired." She let him see her eyes, let him read what he would.
Julian's hand dropped.
She didn't wait to see what expression had appeared on his face or what words he was trying to marshall, just turned and left.
He didn't call her back.
AN: Big hugs everyone! I know we're all tired and going through a tough time, but we're all in this together. Many of us are struggling or have family who are struggling. My father-in-law has COVID-19 on the other side of the country, my mother tested negative but is sick with other things and just went to the ER this morning, and to add to that the corner of my mom's house got hit by a drunk driver last night so it is no longer structurally sound. I'm not really sure what we're going to do about it. I feel like I'm crying over something almost every day. I still have hope though. Writing Mckay is interesting for me because I am actually religious and she is patently not. I haven't written anything new in weeks because I'm braindead, but luckily I had this huge backlog of chapters already written that only need a little editing. I'm participating in a big worldwide fast on Good Friday to pray for relief for all of humanity. I invite you to join in if you are so inclined, no matter what your religious affiliation from active to atheist. If not, know that I am praying for you and sending you good vibes. Love and hugs to all of you.
