Chapter Thirty-One: new options
(Serah's POV)

Shepard kept looking at me in confusion. I know. What I said, killing a reaper by just controlling it; it's madness. I kept looking at Shepard, trying to figure out whether or not she wanted to send me to an insane asylum. It wasn't that far off from my sole purpose of being the reapers viewing point from within humanity.

But me actually controlling them and killing them? That was a whole other can of beans. "You killed it?", Arcen asked. I gave a faint nod. "It felt like I could control it -access it's thoughts. That's when I told it to kill itself".

Everyone looked at me in confusion and horror. I understood. But as much as they looked on in horror. Some of them actually seemed to think otherwise. "What if..", Tali started, "this could be used in our fight with the reapers?",

My eyebrows raised. Me.. weaponized? I wasn't to keen on the idea. But maybe we could harness my power into something. Liara sat down next to me and looked at the others. "I think I may have an idea", she said. Never had I been so happy to hear her say that. I kept my gaze on her as I was trying to figure what her idea would be.

"Maybe we can converted her power into the crucible",

Arcen looked at me with raised eyebrow plates. We didn't even know what the crucible was going to be. We knew what it looked like, but that was it for me. "So, we hook her brain up to some device?", Arcen asked us. That sounded ominous. Like they would dissect my brain and use it without the rest of my body. I'd be just a brain. I shuddered. "No thanks", I said.

"No", Liara said and punched something up on her omni-tool. An image appeared. Something in my mind told that the image was the crucible. "This is the crucible. It's near completion, but we're still not sure how we can make it work", Liara explained to me. I tilted my head, looking at the image. It was huge. Most likely it need a lot of firepower. "It looks like it needs to be hooked up to something big", I concluded.

Liara nodded at me. As far as we know, the citadel is the most compatible thing", I tilted my head. The citadel was a weapon? Not a thing people live at? How strange.. People living in a weapon. It nearly made my head spin thinking about everything that just happend. Arcen noticed this and looked at the others. "I think Serah needs to go home, she looks exhausted", he said and made his way toward the door. I gave it some thought, but he was right.

I got up from the couch and looked at Shepard. "Thanks for having us and I hope you guys will still have a great time", I said. I turned to face Liara. "Tomorrow I'll have a look at the blueprints with you to see how we can fit my abilities in there", I said to her. Liara smiled at me. "Take your rest and we'll see in the morning how you're feeling".

We said our goodbyes to our friends and made it home. I took off my coat and sat down on the couch. I placed my hand on my leg and noticed the ring on my finger. It made me smile. Arcen proposed to me.. It was still a bit hard to fathom, he wanted to marry me.

I looked up at the wall. No matter what would happen, I knew we could get through it together. Me, being so important that I could have a hand in saving the entire galaxy? Unreal. Arcen sat down on the couch next to me and placed his hand over mine. "Are you sure you want to do this?",

He meant the crucible. Was I willing to lay down my own life so that millions could live? When phrased that way... it was a scary thought. My own life was just starting to take shape, there was so much I still wanted to do..

I blinked at my own thoughts. Man, that sounded very selfish. Arcen and the others had taught me that selfishness is a bad thing. But was it so bad to want to live so bad? It made my head spin, both with fear and doubt.

I took my hand from under Arcen's and went to the bedroom. Mim was watching me from her own bed and made a soft, sad sound. I made my way over to her and petted her. Arcen got up from the couch and made his way to the bedroom as well. "Are you okay?", he asked me. I stopped petting Mim, she gave my hand a lick as in instigation I needed to continue the petting.

"I don't know", lying to Arcen wasn't my strongest point, so I avoided it as best I could. Talking to others about it may help me make a decision. Of course; Arcen wouldn't want me laying down my life, he'd be heartbroken. But I guess the turian side of him would agree. It's better to die doing something honourable than die in vain.

Arcen walked over to me and caressed my arm with his talon. "Is it about the crucible?", he asked and he could tell the answer from the look I gave him. "We don't know if it can work", he said. "But I killed it", I said, "I took down that reaper, with my mind",

It really made me sound insane to myself. I sounded like something out of a comic book.

"But still, it doesn't mean that it could work in such a large scale", Arcen brought in. He had a point, but then again, why wouldn't it? Because they had no device which could broadcast my thoughts to all the reaper. "They'll find something", I muttered when I figured Arcen had let it go and went to bed to sleep off his tipsiness as to not get hungover tomorrow.

I sat down on the bed and sighed to myself. Mim, who was pretty tired already, got out of her bed and lazily made her way over to me. I smiled when I noticed all the trouble she went through to get to me. I gave a pet on the head and a light kiss on the head as well. "Thanks Mim, I'll be fine, sleep tight", I told her and she happily throtted off to her bed, ready to call it a night.

I however, spend the entire night thinking about my possibly inevatiable demise.