Phil
"You're still here, mister Brooks." Paul, AJ's doctor, walked into the hospital room where Punk was still sitting, wide awake as he had been all night and into the morning.
"Yeah well you're not gonna catch me anywhere else, doc." Punk assured him as Paul nodded with a small smile.
"How long have you been together?" Paul asked whilst checking AJ's blood pressure and the monitors bleeping beside.
"Thirty six years." Punk nodded.
"Oh, wow." Paul raised his eyebrows, "That's… a long time to spend with someone."
"Yeah well she always tells me that we're living until we're ninety, so… I'm holding that against her." He said as Paul smiled, "How are things looking?" He asked.
"Not much change." Paul nodded, "We're gonna take her for another CT scan see how her head is doing. We'll know more then." He said as Punk nodded.
"What happens if… the swelling still hasn't gone down any?" Punk asked him.
"Well we may need to perform surgery." Paul said, "Because there's a risk of a loss of blood to the brain if the swelling hasn't gone down by much, and that's… not a danger zone we'd like to go into." He said as AJ nodded, "We'll know more once we see what's going on with the brain."
"Ok." Punk nodded.
"Maybe whilst we're taking her for the scan you could go home, get some rest. You must be exhausted." Paul said as Punk shook his head.
"No… No, I'm fine. I'll just wait here." Punk nodded.
"Ok." Paul nodded, knowing he could only suggest, "I'm gonna send in some nurses and we're gonna take her to get the CT scan. Will you be ok waiting here?" He asked Punk.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Punk nodded.
He'd pretty much stayed up all night, sitting by AJ's bed, talking to her or sometimes just sitting with her in silence, not letting go of her hand. He was scared to leave her. So scared.
He stood up and let the nurses take AJ out of the room for another CT scan, sitting back down on the chair and sighing to himself. He had incredible anxiety just by no longer being able to visually see his wife anymore. It was making his heart beat fast, unhealthily fast.
He turned around when he heard the door opening, watching Jude and Sean walk into the room. He saw her face immediately drop when she saw the bed was gone.
"Where is she?" Jude asked, "W-What… what happened?" She panicked.
"Jude, it's ok." Punk stood up.
"No… where is she?" Jude cried, "No… no, what happened to her?" She begged.
"Hey they've just taken her for a scan." Punk walked over to her quickly as she became hysterical, "She's just away for a scan, sweetheart. Just… down the hall." He nodded as Jude cried, hugging into him as he closed his eyes.
For a second she felt her heart stop. She thought she had walked into the worst thing possible. The thing they were all dreading happening. The unspeakable thing they wouldn't dare mention. She thought she was about to live that, and it was the most horrifying feeling.
"Is she ok?" Jude cried as Punk rubbed her back softly.
"She's just in the same condition as last night." Punk nodded, "They're taking her for another scan to see if the swelling has gone down. If it has… that's a good thing." He said, "Don't be upset." He sighed to himself, kissing her head.
"I thought she was gone." Jude cried as Punk nodded. He knew that's what she thought. He could see the look on her face. It was enough to bring tears to his own eyes.
"She's still here, sweetheart. I promise." Punk nodded as Jude hugged into him tightly, "Did you get some sleep?" He asked her, looking over at Sean.
"We got a couple hours." Sean answered as Punk nodded, "Have you not been home?"
"No… No, I'm ok." Punk nodded.
"You gotta sleep, man. We can stay here." Sean said as Punk shook his head.
"No, really… I'm fine." Punk assured him, "I guess I was maybe dozing off and on in the chair." He lied. He knew he hadn't shut his eyes once, because they had constantly been fixed on his wife.
"So she hasn't… woken up or anything?" Jude asked, pulling back from the hug, letting her heart go back down to its fairly normal rate, drying her wet face as Sean wrapped his arm around her.
"No, she's not woken up." Punk shook his head, "Doctor said he'll know more after this can. If the swelling hasn't gone down, they may need to do surgery." He said, "If it has then it's… it's good news we need." He said as Jude nodded, "You spoke to your sisters?"
"No, not this morning." Jude shook her head, "I know Thea and Dominic crashed at your place with Cassie." She said, "With the kids too. They'll probably show up soon."
"Ok well… I can always go down to the café and get a coffee or something. Let you guys be with your mom for a little bit." He nodded.
"Dad, you can leave the hospital." Jude nodded, "Maybe get a nap and… a shower." She said with concern.
"I smell?" Punk asked her.
"No, but you've been here all night." Jude said.
"I'm… I'm fine." Punk shook his head. The thought of leaving the environment his wife was in right now just wasn't an option, "I'm not going anywhere." He said as Jude just nodded. She knew there was no telling her father, and she wasn't surprised that he wanted to stay with her mother twenty four seven. It just summed up their relationship and the type of love they had.
"Why don't you just tell her she's a dick?" Sixteen year old Punk asked, massaging his girlfriend's head within her long dark hair as she lay on top of his chest, naked in a motel bed, a place they could hear each other without all the noise of their families and home life.
"I don't think that would even make a difference." AJ shook her head, "She doesn't care. Neither of them do." She said, speaking about her parents, "It's always been like that."
"What about your brother?" Punk asked her.
"I barely even know who he is. He doesn't talk to me. Doesn't acknowledge me. He's never really at home." AJ shrugged, "Do you ever just feel like…" She began to talk, sitting up against the headboard against the pillows, "You're mad with someone and you want them to know you're mad but… it wouldn't even matter to tell them because they just… don't care. So it's not even worth bringing it up." She said, "That's how I feel about my mom and dad. If I told them how I felt, they wouldn't care, and it'd only make me more upset. So what's the point?"
"I know but your feelings are still valid, April." Punk said, "You don't just gotta conform because they don't listen to you. Get loud so they do hear you."
"The biggest fuck you I could ever give my parents is if I grow up and somehow… have a good life." AJ nodded, "Which is debatable given I have no support."
"You have me." Punk smiled as she looked down at him.
"Yeah… I do." AJ smiled down at him, "Part of me just wants to be like… hey you… motherfuckers, you didn't raise me right but look how I turned out. I turned out ok." She said as Punk smiled, "I know it's far-fetched considering I already have a criminal record-"
"Doesn't mean you're a bad person. Sometimes you just… you gotta do what you gotta do to survive." Punk nodded.
"Or is that just an excuse to do bad things?" AJ asked him as he sat up beside her against the headboard.
"I don't think so. Sure if you pursue it but… if you're doing it to eat and have a roof over your head… I don't think it makes you a bad person-"
"Yeah but where does that line draw?" AJ asked him, "I don't wanna be pulling the, poor girl whose family doesn't care about her card, forever." She said.
"You don't have to." Punk shook his head as AJ climbed over on top of him, sitting on his thighs and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"The only time I feel like I'm not doomed to all that chaos my mom and dad live in is… when I'm with you." She looked him in the eyes, "This feels more like a home than my actual house does. And I don't mean… the motel. I mean you." She nodded as he smiled.
"I know what you mean." Punk smiled, "You wanna know what I think?" He asked.
"What?" She smiled. Her relationship with him was very new and very young, yet she felt like due to their upbringings, they were somehow older than their years. She felt safe with him. She felt everything with him.
"I think we're gonna be fine." Punk nodded.
"You think?" She smiled as he nodded.
"Yeah." Punk said, "And if we're not… fuck it." He shrugged as she chuckled.
"Fuck it." She nodded, leaning in and kissing him passionately as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt like she could do anything with him by her side. Part of her felt the danger from him, but it wasn't a scary danger, it was exciting. It was a thrill.
AJ walked into the prisons visitation room, bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep she'd gotten over the past few weeks, making her way to the designated table and taking a seat as she waited on her husband coming out.
She stood up when she saw him coming out, sighing to herself as she saw he had a black eye and stitches along his eyebrows.
"Nice of you to show up." Punk nodded to her as he approached the table with cuffs on.
"Why have you got cuffs on?" AJ asked, looking around at the other inmates who had come out, without any handcuffs restricting them.
"Because I've been misbehaving." Punk said bluntly, sitting down at the table as AJ sat down across from him, "You've not been here in over a week." He said as AJ looked across at him.
"Well I've been busy, Phil." AJ said, looking at his cut eyebrow.
"Stop staring at the eyebrow." Punk said.
"Well what happened?" AJ shook her head.
"It's fine." Punk said, "I'm assuming you know that the last time me and Thea spoke she told me she wasn't gonna visit again." He said as AJ looked across at him.
She desperately wanted to tell him what was going on with Thea right at this very minute. The fact she was ill with a drug addiction. Severely ill. But she couldn't imagine the torture it would be for him to live with that in a cell for twenty whatever hours a day. She couldn't do that to him.
"She's just finding this tough." AJ said.
"Can't you… talk to her about it or something? Help her change her mind? I don't wanna not see my kid, Ape." He shook his head.
"I think what's best for Thea right now is just… some space." AJ nodded, "You just gotta bear with her-"
"So you're not even gonna talk to her about it?" Punk asked.
"She's seventeen. She can make her own decisions, Phil." AJ said, "She's her own person."
"Who needs her dad-"
"Her dad? Who she has to come to a prison to visit?" AJ questioned, "Do you even want that kind of life for them? Do you want them to see you like this?"
"Do you?" Punk asked her curiously.
"No. I don't, Phil. I want them to know you as the dad they could… love and trust-"
"Excuse me?" Punk asked.
"Well this place hardly has connotations of goodness and kindness, does it?" AJ questioned.
"Oh, saint April with her kindness and goodness. I forgot you were carved by fucking angels." He said as AJ stared him angrily, "I got nothing here, Ape!" Punk said desperately, "And now I'm starting to lose the small part of my family I still have-"
"Yeah well you don't get to blame your daughter for that." AJ said.
"I blame you." Punk looked at her as AJ stared him. She was trying so hard to remember that he wasn't thinking straight. He was isolated. He was locked up and no doubt going stir crazy. But words had to come from some place.
"You blame me for what?" AJ spat.
"For this." Punk said, shaking his handcuffs in front of her, "I get treated like a fucking dog in here. I'm in here because of your stupid fucking parents." He shook his head to himself.
"Curse at me again and I'm out of here." AJ warned him as he looked across at her.
"I took the fall. Again. Everyone split and I'm back in here. It's been four years and I feel like I've lost a lifetime with you and the girls. I… I haven't even met one of my kids because you won't bring her-"
"Woah, hold on." AJ paused him, "I won't bring her? We both decided, together, that bringing her here so young wasn't fair to her or you. That this was easier." She said, "So quit throwing things in my face and putting words in my mouth."
"Why does Thea not want to see me anymore? Tell me the real reason." Punk said.
"Maybe because you're not any use to her in here. She needs someone in her life and you're not." AJ said as Punk looked across at her.
"She said that?" Punk asked.
"She doesn't have to." AJ said.
"And you're just… agreeing with her? You're not even trying to persuade her to come see me?"
"Persuade her?" AJ shook her head, "She's not a little girl, Phil. She's almost eighteen years old. If she doesn't want to see you anymore then she doesn't want to see you!" AJ said, starting to lose her temper, watching as he stood up angrily, standing up straight after him and staring up at him, "Sit back down." AJ warned him as he looked down at her.
"You know what? You're starting to treat me exactly how they do in here." He said quietly, sitting back down on his chair as AJ looked at him.
For the past year or so, she could feel things changing slowly but surely. Visits became shorter and more hostile. She didn't think it was because they didn't love one another. She never thought that. They were just living two separate lives and things were becoming too difficult. But… she wouldn't be treated or spoken to like that.
"Thea makes her own decisions. She's a grow woman." AJ sat back down.
"I can't believe you." Punk shook his head, "You don't know how fucking lucky you are."
"Lucky?" AJ laughed loudly. She only wished she could tell him that she had just locked Thea in her bedroom with Dean sitting outside it, to make sure she didn't leave the house to collect drugs. Whilst he longed to be home, with their daughter's, she longed to disappear from all the noise at home, all the chaos.
"Yeah. You get to go home every night, with our daughters-"
"Yeah, with our daughters who I'm raising on my own. You don't even know the half of it." AJ shook her head.
"This is your fault." Punk shook his head. He didn't mean it. He absolutely didn't mean that. He was angry and upset. He was losing the will to live. Struggling every day. And his wife, she saw his best, but sadly she got his worst too.
"My fault." AJ nodded, "Yeah, of course it is." She said, "I tell you what, Phil… if that's how you feel, I won't bother coming back here again either." She nodded.
"Yeah, well it's the girls I care about." Punk said coldly as AJ glared across at him, standing up from the table.
"Fuck you." AJ whispered as he looked up at her, watching as she turned around and walked away out of the room, not realising that would be the last time he'd see her until he got out.
