Chapter 6: Afterglow

I laid on the rather large window seat in my bedroom, staring out into the woods behind our backyard. There was a violent storm that was supposed to last the next few hours and watching the lightning and the ways the trees were moving was kind of captivating. This was one of those moments my mind ran wild.

Have you ever thought back on a moment where you made a decision that changed the trajectory of your life? That's probably a bit dramatic, or at least the thought of it makes you feel that way. Like, maybe if you would have made a different choice or stayed completely ignorant to certain things, you could have followed an entirely different plan for yourself? This was one of my worst habits. I'd think about something, like the night I lost my virginity to Jacob Black and convince myself I had made a mistake when with a clear mind, I knew damn well I don't regret it at all.

I didn't expect to feel so nostalgic as we pulled up to the charming red house in La Push. I hadn't been here in years, but all the memories I could remember put a smile on my face. Even after our friendship was seemingly distant the last few years, Jake still felt like my person and I couldn't see that ever changing. I wouldn't have guessed at 17 I'd be back here, this time with the intention of losing my virginity.

He grabbed onto my hand and led me inside, turning on all of the lights as we entered. Some things looked exactly the same, yet not completely.

"Looks almost the same as I remember it. When did you guys renovate?" I didn't remember Charlie mentioning anything about it, but I probably wouldn't have paid attention if he did.

"Well, Dad's insurance and some government programs allowed us to have some work done to make it easier for him to get around in his chair. The rest, like my bedroom you're about to see was renovated using the money left after my mom passed." He barely finished his sentence before his mouth was on mine, kissing me with such passion I thought my knees were going to buckle.

As soon as we were in his bedroom, he kicked the door shut and practically threw me on his large California King sized bed. I pulled myself further up, so his pillows were behind me and removed my dress, revealing a black lace bra and matching thong. I surprised myself with my boldness. I watched as he removed his shoes, t-shirt and jeans, his eyes looking my body up and down the entire time. He turned to grab something out of the top drawer in his dresser and I could feel the need to touch every inch of his perfectly sculpted body growing more intense.

When he turned around, I lightly ran my fingers from my breasts, down into my thong and began playing with my clit, moaning at how good it felt. My eyes dropped to the obvious erection in his boxers and the thought of him fitting inside of me gave me goose bumps, but the effect it had on the wetness between my legs pushed the worry to the back of my mind. "I need you Jake."

He watched me and bit down on his bottom lip, removing his boxers before climbing onto the bed, positioning himself between my legs "Fuck, you look so hot playing with yourself Bells."

He quickly pulled my thong down my legs and began kissing from my abdomen up to my breasts. I let out a loud moan when he took one in his mouth. The hot and wet feel of his tongue was driving me crazy. I was worried about knowing what exactly to do, but my body seemed to answer that for me. It was so sensitive and receptive to his every touch.

He grabbed both of my arms with his and pulled them up over my head. He was able to pin them there with just one hand, balancing on his legs while the other slowly moved down my body with his eyes intensely staring into my own.

I thought I was going to cum when I finally felt his fingers over my cunt. "You're so fucking wet for me already." He whispered as he slowly pushed a finger inside of me. "Oh, fuck!" I wailed. He brought his lips back down to my neck, sucking and biting on my skin and brought his thumb down onto my clit as he thrusted 2 and then 3 of his fingers inside of me. I wanted so badly to grab onto his back and dig my nails in while I thrusted against him, riding his fingers until I clenched down on them, feeling the most intense orgasm I've ever had.

He released his grip on my hands and sat back on his knees. I brought his hand up to my mouth and slowly sucked on each of his fingers that had just been inside of me.

I could see the look of surprise on his face as he watched me, biting down on his lip.

He grabbed the condom next to him and ripped the foil with his teeth.

He positioned himself over me as he placed it on himself.

"Just, go slow at first, please." I pleaded.

"I was going to ask this before, but is this really your first time?"

I nodded and wrapped my legs around his waist, urging him on.

He kissed me, thrusting his hips forward slowly.

I dug my nails into his back as he stretched me, feeling as if he was tearing apart my insides.

The pain only lasted a minute and when I loosened my grip on his back, he thrusted harder and faster into me. I found myself wondering why I had waited so long to feel pleasure this euphoric.

Our bodies were both covered in a sheen of sweat. It made him look even hotter from this angle. "Fuck, you're so tight Bells." I dug my nails deeper into his skin, thrusting my hips in rhythm with his. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.

He pressed his lips against mine, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and biting it gently.

I moaned loudly as I came for the second time. He slowly pulled out of me before slamming back into me, hard and fast until he came and collapsed on the bed next to me.

We lay there next to each other without saying a word for a few minutes. My first thought was about what this meant between Jake and I, but I stopped myself there. If I assumed it meant more than it did, I'd be crushed. He hadn't made me any promises, just asked me if I wanted to come home with him. I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn't notice Jake get up. He took a towel out of the closet and handed it to me, placing a kiss on my forehead. "You can take a shower here, Bells. I'm sure you remember where the bathroom is. We're the only ones here."

I didn't realize there was blood between my legs until I watched it trailing down as the water hit my skin when I stepped in the shower. FUCK. I felt bad knowing it must be on his bed too.

I quickly washed my hair and my body before turning off the shower. When I returned to his bedroom, Jake had already replaced the sheets and comforter on his bed. I blushed in embarrassment that he clearly couldn't have missed it.

He noticed my discomfort and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Bells. It happens. I left some clothes on the bed for you. I'll be right back." With a towel in his hand, he walked down the hallway towards the bathroom.

These clothes must have been from before his growth spurt. I put them on, and they were still way too big, but comfortable. I took out my phone to send a text to Angela.

I'm safe at Jake's. Give you details tomorrow. Xoxo

I placed my phone on his dresser and climbed onto his bed and under the covers. I was half asleep when I heard Jake return. He climbed into bed and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Night Bells." He whispered. He turned off the lights and I fell asleep immediately.

I didn't need the fairytale of losing my virginity to someone I knew I was going to spend forever with. The cheesy scenes with flowers and candles didn't make any sense to me. I was never holding out for marriage. My life was not going to be a fairytale and I would be waiting forever to find a Mr. Darcy. Why did a girls first time have to be such a big deal when no one ever idealized a guy's first time in that way? It's definitely something you need to be emotionally ready for, but it's just one of the many firsts you get to enjoy in life.

After that night, I never had a conversation with Jacob about this changing our friendship. The only thing that seemed to change was there being a new normal in the friends I spent my time with and the parties we'd attend together almost every weekend following a game up until the season ended. Jake, Noah, Angela and I were together most weekends, along with Angela's boyfriend Eric when he wasn't playing in his band or something like that. We always ended up with more of the juniors and seniors, but those four were the people I felt the closest to. There were a few more nights I had gone home with Jake. I couldn't imagine sex with anyone else could be as hot as it was with him, but obviously I couldn't know any different.

I planned to spend most of Christmas break in New York with my mom and Phil. New York City was beautiful, but you really should see it during the holidays. I finally got the nerve to remove myself from watching the storm and pack for New York.

Less than a week into my New York trip, it was Saturday night and we had just spent hours out at dinner. Renee looked like she was ready to appear on one of those real housewife's television shows. I've yet to see her dressed as if she wasn't going to some high-profile event in years.

My mother wasted no time with what felt like an interrogation about my plans for college. If I was being honest, I had a fairly high GPA with the extracurriculars colleges wanted. I had already taken the SAT earlier than most this semester and scored highly. I just hadn't 100% made my decision yet.

"Bella, I know you've been having a lot of fun with your friends, but you really need to think about the future. I think you should consider a college in New York."

I sat next to her on the couch picking at my nails, hoping I could find the right wording to satisfy her while not agreeing to this.

"Mom, I'm not even completely sure what my major is going to be. I love English Literature, but I also considered becoming a nurse."

"Nursing is a great choice! There are plenty of good schools on the East Coast with top ranked RN programs!" she looked ecstatic, and knowing her, it was because that's something she could confidently tell her snotty friends about.

"Probably the right one. I'll research some schools later." I smiled at her and then turned my attention to the TV. At 11pm I felt my phone vibrate from a text; it was Jake.

Weekends aren't the same here without you, Bells.

I smiled at my phone like an idiot.

I can't wait to get back. Renee is driving me crazy.

Lol. When do you come back again?

In a few days, on the 31st.

New Year's Eve? We can't wait!

We? I wondered who else he was referring to until my phone vibrated again and there was a picture of him and Noah at a party with red cups in their hands. I couldn't ignore the girls so obviously in the background.

I stared at the picture for a few minutes. You could tell by the look on their faces they were drunk, but they also both had the cutest smiles on their faces.

Forks had finished off the season champions, Noah's family allowed him to go even bigger with the party he threw. They pretty much handed him a credit card and told him to have fun, but don't be stupid.

He ordered a ton of food and booze, inviting pretty much the entire high school.

There was an all-out beer pong tournament with 8 different tables. I opted to just watch, but it was still just as fun. I had gotten braver with my drink choices. Tonight, I was sipping on Jack & Coke. By midnight, the party was still pretty insane. You could barely hear yourself think. Jake and Mike were beer pong partners and Angela was somewhere with Eric. I ventured off up the stairs to use the bathroom and figured I could have a few moments of silence in the guest room, only to encounter a locked door and the obvious sounds of what was happening inside. Instead, I just decided to use Noah's.

I looked around his room that was full of trophies and pictures and placed my drink on his dresser while I used the bathroom. Right went I went to retrieve my drink, he walked into his bedroom. I almost jumped when I heard him walking in.

"I'm sorry, I was going to use the guest room, but it seems to be occupied." I laughed.

"I don't mind. You're one of the few I would allow." He smiled

I placed my drink on his nightstand and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Thanks, I just need a few minutes of silence, if you don't mind."

He sat down on the bed next to me and laid back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Not at all, as long as you don't mind some company."

Following his actions, I laid back, so we were now just lying next to each other.

"Of course not, you're good company."

I could feel the ball of nerves in my stomach because of our closeness. It's not that we hadn't been this close before, just never alone. We flirted all the time, but I never really thought it would go further. After a few minutes, without a word, he reached out and grabbed my hand. He intertwined our fingers together and kept them lying between us. It was such a simple gesture, but it calmed my nerves. I almost felt guilty about what we were doing, until I remembered the past weekend when I watched Jake leave with some other girl I didn't recognize.

Before I even finished that thought, Noah was on top of me, his lips crashing down hard onto mine. I parted my lips to welcome his tongue inside to explore my mouth and ran my fingers through his hair. He pushed my dress up to my waist and ran his fingers along the inside of my thigh as his lips moved down to my neck, aggressively sucking and biting. I was ready to lift my dress over my head when someone knocked on the door.

"Donovan! You in there?"

"Bad timing." He laughed as he stood up. "Guess our moment of silence has ended."

I fixed my dress and sat up on the bed. "Just when it was getting good." I smirked and grabbed my drink off of his nightstand, taking a long chug of it.

He opened the door to Jake standing on the other side. "What're you doing in here?" He asked before looking over in my direction. I wasn't sure if the expression on his face was of surprise or anger. "Oh. uh, you too Bells. Come down whenever you're done, I guess."

Before either of us could say anything, Jake disappeared back down the stairs.

The rest of the night went by as it normally would have. More drinking games and dancing. By the time the party was winding down, it was late. I was surprised in Charlies lack of questioning with how often I kept telling him I was spending the night at Angela's, but her parents either didn't give her a curfew or never noticed us sneaking in when I did stay with her. I threw my hair up in a ponytail and relaxed until Angela was ready to leave Eric and go home.

Jake sat down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. "You need a ride home or are you even going home?" he asked. He clearly wondered if I was just going to crash at Noah's, but I don't see why that would even bother him.

"No, I'm not going home." I paused. "I'm going back to Ang's."

He lifted his head and pressed his lips gently against my forehead. "You are heading out now?" I asked.

His eyes looked at me and immediately his expression darkened. He shook his head and stood up. "You should probably cover that up before you go home tomorrow." He was gone before I even had the chance to ask him what he was talking about.

When I finally got to look in a mirror the next morning, I could see the obnoxious hickey on the side of my neck. Its location was easily covered by my hair though, so I'd just style it to be hidden until then.

I texted Jake when I got back home that afternoon.

Are you mad at me?

My stomach was in knots as soon as I pressed the send button.

No. Why?

I wanted to convince myself he was telling the truth.

Before you left last night, you looked pissed.

Maybe I was just overreacting.

Sorry. I was just tired.

Jacob Black was obviously not jealous. It was just my wishful thinking.

I never asked Jacob again if it would bother him that I hooked up with Noah. We still hadn't had sex, just a lot of making out after that party. I had left Forks only 2 days after anyway. It was like feelings within our group were never really spoken.

At 1am I received another text.

I miss you3

I quickly replied before I had the chance to second guess it.

I miss you too3

My hands felt a little shaky, I hadn't said that to anyone like this in a while.

Let me take you on a date when you get back?

The butterflies in my stomach were doing flips.

Definitely

Holy shit. I had a date with Noah Donovan.

Author's Note: These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, but I've made them more realistic, in my own mind anyway. Thank you for the follows.