Catherine couldn't help but smile at Lindsey's attitude or how easily she seemed to have not only accepted things, but had been willing and wanting to help. Although last night was still eating away at the back of her mind, along with the worries of what the next few months could bring and the fear of serotonin syndrome hanging over her, Catherine conceded that she had to take her own advice, and take things minute by minute, just like she had told Sara in the hospital, and right now her minutes had to revolve around Lindsey.
Jumping up from the bed she followed Lindsey out of the room 'Ok ok, waffles it is, but you gotta have some fruit too you know!' she called after her whirlwind of a daughter.
'Doesn't strawberry syrup count?' Lindsey called back already halfway down the stairs.
'No Madam it doesn't, Banana or Blueberries… or both?'
'Both' Lindsey agreed running in to the kitchen
Catherine couldn't help but carry on smiling as she got the breakfast ready. After they had finished, both having had 3 waffles each, Catherine pulled Lindsey on to her lap 'Thank you baby' she kissed her cheek
'Mum!' Lindsey said trying to wiggle out of her grasp.
Catherine just held her closer 'I think we should spend the morning shopping, then maybe go to the park. Sara's spending the morning with Uncle Gil, Uncle Jim and the rest of the Gang, I think she might be too tired to go to the Zoo today… Besides, I want to spend my day with my most favourite person in the world!' Catherine declared planting another kiss on Lindsey's head.
Lindsey couldn't help but giggle 'Ok… but can we ring her now? Please? I wanna speak to her'
Xxxx
A little after 9 Sara's phone started to ring, at first she was going to ignore it, but seeing as it was Catherine she excused herself from the card game for a moment and walked away from the group for a little privacy
'Hi' she answered, looking over her shoulder, happily noting everyone else was still absorbed in the game.
'Hi Sara… How did everyone enjoy the food?'
'Good… Good, I even got a complement from Hodges! And now were playing Jin-Rummy with 4 decks of cards… it's mental…' Sara beamed, and Catherine could just imagine the smile on Sara's face right now.
'Wow… I need to try this food then, that's high praise indeed… Listen… Sara sweetie… Lindsey wants to ask you something, is that ok?' Catherine asked a little unsure, not knowing what Sara's current mood was.
'Sure… I think it's my turn again though…' Sara replied, a little apprehensive as to what Lindsey wanted to say
'That's ok, it won't take long… let me pass you over…'
Sara heard the phone being moved, and then heard a much younger voice. She'd only met Lindsey a handful of times, but instantly recognised the voice.
'Hi Sara'
'Hi Lindsey'
'Me and Mum are going to the Zoo tomorrow, they have Porcupine's there! Have you ever seen a porcupine? Cuz, if you haven't, I could show you, and teach you all about them, if you like?' Lindsey questioned speaking very quickly
'Lindzz… I don't know, I….'
'I'd really like it if you came Sara, Mummy says you've been sad, but I think no one could be sad if they saw a Porcupine, or an Okapi, they've got them too…we could have Ice Cream or Candy Floss, or whatever you want. I'll even spent my pocket money so we can get some of those silly photos from that little box… Please Sara, Please?' she almost begged
'Oh… Lindsey… I… I'm… Poorly… at the moment, I don't know if it's such a good idea…'
'That's exactly why it's such a good idea. We'll pick you up at 9.30' Lindsey said, hanging up the phone before Sara could object or say no.
Sighing Sara turned around and walked back towards the game 'Sorry' she said waving her phone, but not elaborating any further 'Where were we?'
Xxxx
A few hours later only Jim, Sara and Grissom were left, everyone else having left to get some sleep or to run various errands. Sara started to clean everything up in the kitchen.
'It's alright Sara, you don't need to do that' Grissom said gently placing his hand on the small of her back.
'I know, I want too' came her quiet response
'I know, but it's ok, it can wait… it's gone 11, and to be honest, I need to sleep a little…'
'Oh…..' Sara dropped the dishcloth that was in her hands
'Sara, I didn't mean it like that…'
'No?' Sara questioned, turning away from him
'Sara please, it's been a really nice morning, but I think we all need sleep' Brass cut in placing his hand on her shoulder
Sara just nodded and pulled away from him, gathering the last of the food she walked out of Grissom's house without a word.
Brass followed closely after her, mumbling an apology to Grissom as he went.
'Sara… Sara wait up…' he called after her
'What?' She snapped, spinning around to face him.
'You know Grissom wasn't throwing us out because of anything that happened, he just really is tired, he's been awake for nearly 18 hours… Don't take it personally ok?'
Sara turned back towards the car without saying anything.
10 minutes later Brass pulled up outside Sara's flat.
'What's going on Sara? You were ok until you got that phone call, and then you got really quiet…'
'Nothing' Sara snapped again getting out of the car and walking towards the park near where she lived
'Sara!' Brass called after her, following.
'Just leave me alone, please…'
'You know I can't do that Sara…'
'Why? I'm not drinking, I don't have anything sharp, nothing to jump off….'
'Don't talk like that honey…'
'Please Jim… I just need some space….'
Brass just looked at her, taking in her tired demeanour, her pale face, and tears forming in her eyes 'Ok… Ok…. Half an hour, then please, come up to the flat…'
Sara barely nodded in understanding, before turning once more and walking away.
Brass just watched her walk away, and then reluctantly turned himself, grabbing the food out of the car.
Xxx
It was almost 40 minutes later that Brass heard the door to the flat open. He had been trying not to panic, and kept having to tell himself 'one more minute, one more minute'
'Hey' Sara said looking a little sheepish 'I'm sorry…'
'It's ok… why don't I make you a cup of tea, and then we can talk…'
'Ok…'
Brass set about making some tea, and then settled onto the sofa next to Sara. He passed her the steaming mug, but didn't say anything, waiting for her to start.
'Catherine rang earlier… no, that's a lie… Lindsey rang earlier…'
'Oh… What did the munchkin want?'
'She wants me to go to the Zoo tomorrow…'
'Oh… is this what this is about?'
'Yeah… I guess…I don't know if I can…'
'Why not Sara? You love Catherine, and want to be with her, Lindsey is part of that deal, you know that…'
'It's not that…'
'What then?'
'What if she hates me? What if I have another bad day…another fog… even with the damn meds I'm still not doing great… I'm sick of always having to have company, I've barely been by myself lately… I don't keep company well. What if I scare her, or do or say the wrong thing? I don't know if she evens knows about me and Cat, or about what I'm going through… I mean, how do you explain that to a nine year old?'
'Oh Sara… You really are silly you know'
Sara just looked at him in confused disgust
'If Catherine didn't want you to spend time with Lindsey, she wouldn't have let Lindsey ring you. If you want to be with Catherine, you need to spend time with her Daughter. If you take your meds, and keep calm, you should be ok, if you get overwhelmed, you just need to say, trust me, Catherine will understand. As for what Lindsey does or doesn't understand, don't worry about it for now, just enjoy the day. You know it's not recommended you be by yourself for now… you also know snapping at Grissom like that was unneeded and unfair… and a tell of needing your next dose of Lithium… But, here's the deal Sara… the Zoo is a 40 minute drive away, right?'
Sara just nodded
'Ok, drive yourself, and meet them there, if it really gets too much, you can leave without making them leave… for now though, have your meds, get some sleep, and when you wake up, phone Catherine and explain how you feel, ok? It's been a long day for you Sara, but I know everyone had a really good time and enjoyed your food, so be proud of that. Now… meds and sleep' he ordered, placing his hand on her shoulder.
Xxx
Enjoyed? 3 chapters in the past day or so… wow
Thanks for reading again, Emz
