Hogan 4
Everything was going swell. Fine. Dandy!
And then all hell broke loose.
Again.
Not for the first time since this whole fiasco started, Colonel Hogan found himself wondering which cosmic force hated him. It was the only explanation.
There they were, standing at roll call, minding their own damn business. Klink had been suspicious of Wigman, but Hogan handled it well enough to throw him off the trail. And then a-tisket a-tasket, everything went to hell in a basket.
"Holy smokes!" Carter jumped back as a body suddenly fell from the sky and landed right on top of the person in front of him- right on top of Wigman. The hapless author went down like a rag doll and on top of her was what he could only assume was another hapless author.
"HOGAN!"
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Hogan cried, throwing his hands up. This was going too far. Surely he hadn't done anything to deserve this.
Klink recovered quickly from the surprise. And before Hogan could stop him or explain, he pounced. "Ah, Hogan," Klink said, shaking a fist, "I've got you this time! Guards, take this spy to the cooler at once!"
Two guards came and grabbed the girl- of course it was a girl, and young too from the looks of it- off Wigman and started to haul her off. Immediately, the other prisoners swarmed around Wigman and tried to hurry her limp body into the barracks.
"Stop! Or I will have you all shot!" Klink said firmly, elbowing his way through the crowd.
"Well, now wait a minute!" Hogan protested. "This man is-"
"Oh please, Hogan, save it for another time. You know very well that this is not Newkirk!"
"I never said it was. I didn't say anything about-"
"Hogan!" Klink stomped his foot. "Hogan, I demand an explanation for this!"
"An explanation for what?" Hogan asked stretching his hands out to Wigman. "I don't know what happened. I don't know why it happened. All I know is that this man is injured and we've got to get him inside and check him over."
Klink scoffed loudly. "Hogan, please, do I look dumb to you?"
"I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it may land me in solitary," Hogan quipped. "All right fellas, take the corporal here into-"
"Just one minute," Klink interrupted. He stepped up to the two men who were holding Wigman up between them. Wigman's chin was on her chest and Klink reached up to grab it.
"Contagious!" Hogan blurted out quickly. Klink immediately withdrew his hand.
"Contagious?" he repeated.
"Very. We were trying to convince the guard to let him stay in for roll call, but he wouldn't listen to us. But believe me, that man right there is contagious with the most vicious case of the flu I've seen yet."
Klink pegged Hogan with an incredulous look. "I will take my chances." And with that, he grabbed Wigman's chin and swiped a thumb across her jaw. "Aha." He rubbed his fingers together. "Aha, just as I thought. Paint." He looked back at Wigman, who groaned but remained unconscious, and titled her head to get a better look. "Hogan, I know it has been a long time, but believe me, this is no dream- this is a woman."
Hogan pursed his lips and rocked back on his heels. There was no denying it, and he found himself without an explanation. He wasn't about to tell Klink that the woman was a time traveller. But then, what else could he say? They were caught red-handed.
"Guards, take her to the cooler!" Klink ordered.
"Hold on, Kommandant! You can't do that. She's hurt."
"Aha!" Klink held up a finger. "You said she! So you admit it's a woman!"
Hogan scrunched his nose. "Well if it is a woman, are you going to just throw her in the cooler while she's unconscious? I thought you were a gentleman, Kommandant."
Klink pulled himself up. "I am," he declared.
"Glad to hear it," Hogan drawled. "Fellas, why don't you take her into my quarters and get Wilson to come take a look at her."
"No! You will take her into my quarters!" Klink declared. "Schultz, Langenscheidt, I want you to stand guard. Do not let her out of your sight! Hogan, my office. Now." And with that, he marched off.
Klink narrowed his eyes and studied Hogan for a moment. "Very well. Schultz, Langenscheidt, I want you to stand guard. Do not let her out of your sight. Hogan, my office, now." And with that, he marched off.
Schultz and Langenscheidt took Wigman from his men and dragged her off towards Klink's quarters. "Kinch," Hogan said as he grabbed the sergeant's arm. "Send Carter and LeBeau in to Klink's quarters. Get them to give Schultz the run around and maybe get Wigman down through the stove entrance."
"I'll see what I can do, Colonel," Kinch promised. Hogan nodded and then quickly set off for Klink's office. He found the Kommandant pacing, his riding crop tucked firmly under his arm. Upon Hogan's arrival, Klink stopped and whirled around to face him, unleashing his crop and pointing it right at Hogan's nose. Hogan pulled his head back and held up his hands defensively.
"Hogan, I want to know the truth," Klink declared.
"The truth?" Hogan repeated.
"Yes, the truth. The real truth, not your version of it," Klink said.
"Colonel, have I ever told you anything that wasn't true?" Hogan asked innocently. Klink just glared at him. Hogan looked aghast. "Kommandant, I'm hurt!"
Klink shook his riding crop. "Hogan."
"Careful with that thing, Kommandant. You're liable to poke an eye out. And I can't pull off a monocle like you can."
They locked eyes until Klink finally grunted and lowered his weapon. Hogan let his hands drop. "I'm waiting, Hogan. I know you knew that was a woman at roll call. You must have known- you took the time and trouble to dress her like Newkirk. She didn't just appear! Where did she come from? How long has she been here? And what about the one who fell from the sky? Do you know her? What is going on? You're behind this! I want answers, Hogan, and I want them now!" Klink demanded, pounding his desk to punctuate every question and accusation.
"How the hell should I know?!" Hogan cried. Then he demurred slightly with a quick 'Kommandant.'
"Because whenever anything happens in this camp that is strange, or odd, you are behind it!" Klink cried. "That woman did not just appear in Newkirk's uniform. She didn't just fall out for roll call by herself. You made her attend the roll call which means you must have known she was a woman."
Hogan grunted and crossed his arms. He was out of options. Even with his silver tongue, he couldn't talk his way out of this without revealing some truth. A woman literally fell from the sky right in front of Klink. And it wasn't as if Klink didn't know about the time travelers. After all, he had already had a little tête-à-tête with 'The Time Patrol'.
"All right, I knew it was a woman," he finally admitted tightly.
"Aha, aha! I knew it, I knew it! Oh, Hogan, when will you learn that you can't hide anything from me?" Klink crowed. "Now, how long has she been here?"
"Just arrived."
"Who is she?" Klink asked.
"She didn't say."
"Why is she here?"
"The scenery. The barbed wire is lovely this time of year," Hogan deadpanned.
"Hooogan," Klink warned.
Hogan threw his hands up. "Look, Kommandant, she just appeared. Granted, not as dramatically as the one who fell from the sky, but unexpected all the same."
"Hogan, women do not just appear out of thin air," Klink insisted.
"Were you at roll call, sir?"
Klink pursed his lips, but then acknowledged his defeat on that point with a huff. "And why was she at roll call in the first place?" Klink asked. "Why-" Klink cut himself off and his eyes grew wide in horror. "What about Newkirk? Where is he?"
"He disappeared."
"Disappeared?" Klink repeated. "You mean he escaped," Klink accused. "I will call the guards at once. Oh you're clever Hogan, very clever. This was all a ruse to destroy my perfect record." Klink picked up his phone, but Hogan quickly grabbed his hand and forced him to set it down again.
"I mean disappeared."
"How could he disappear?" Klink asked.
"I don't know, but he did. Poof. Whoosh. Gone. The moment that woman showed up, he disappeared. I don't know why."
"But that's not possible!"
"Colonel, a woman literally fell from the sky today," Hogan reminded him. "Another just appeared in the barracks. If these events have taught me anything, it's that anything is possible, up to and including Newkirk disappearing." He pinched the bridge of his nose. This whole thing was spiralling out of control.
Klink tapped his chin thoughtfully. "That woman. From the time patrol-"
"The what?" Hogan interrupted.
"The woman General Hahn brought in. You saw her, didn't you? Did you notice her clothes?" When Hogan nodded, Klink continued. "She was from the future, Hogan. Just like Wilhelmina. She said she was from the Time Patrol. She is behind this. She is probably working with that dreadful Russian woman. She will know what is going on. We must find her."
"I thought you let her go," Hogan said.
Klink's face fell. "Yes, I did," he admitted. "An oversight. I should have kept her here and pressed her for more information but I thought... Well, I will find her. Of course, she could be anywhere. Anywhen. But if she is behind this, then she cannot be far. In fact, I am sure she will come to me. I have her friends, after all."
Hogan nodded thoughtfully. "You know, you could be right. She might even know where Newkirk disappeared to."
"I would not be at all surprised." Klink moved to his cabinet and pulled out a bottle of schnapps. He poured two glasses and offered one to Hogan, who accepted it. "I wonder why they are coming here. This place, this time," Klink mused after a sip. "What do you think, Hogan?"
Hogan shrugged. "Could be your perfect record, sir. Not one escape. I bet not even Genghis Khan had a record like that."
Klink nodded thoughtfully. "That's true. Perhaps no one in history has been as efficient as I am." Then he scoffed and waved the thought away. "Oh no, that could not possibly be it. I am not that remarkable... Am I?"
"You're certainly one of a kind," Hogan said lightly as he gulped down the rest of his drink. "Now, about that woman-"
"She will remain in my quarters as my guest," Klink said. "I will take care of her. We can't have her amongst the prisoners! She wouldn't be safe!"
"Now hold on! I resent the implication that my men can't be trusted!" Hogan protested.
Klink arched an eyebrow. "You are going to keep a lone woman safe from a thousand prisoners?" Klink asked skeptically. "No. No, Hogan, she will be under my protection."
"And the one in the cooler?" Hogan asked. "The one that just dropped in? What about her?"
"She is safe in the cooler for now," he said. "Once I have the other one settled I will find a place for her. I may have to move some prisoners out of a barracks if any more show up."
"Perish the thought," Hogan muttered. "May I be excused, Kommandant?"
"Very well." Klink dismissed him with a wave of the hand. Hogan fired off a salute and quickly left.
Great. Just great. Wigman was now Klink's personal guest. And whoever it was in the cooler could be there for a while. Maybe he would spring her loose and make her disappear whenever Newkirk got back.
At that thought, Hogan quickly checked his watch. Newkirk would be contacting them from Olsen's house any minute now. Depending on the situation, they probably wouldn't be back with the other author- Wind?- and Crittendon until dawn.
Hogan groaned. Great. Another author and Crittendon. The tunnels were already too crowded. Maybe he would get Margherita to march them all out of the tunnel to meet with Klink. She seemed quick on her feet. She could convince Klink that they were all from the Time Patrol on some sort of mission.
But then what? There were so many of them. Klink would panic. And they were mostly American. Maybe Klink would feel duty-bound to turn them over to the Gestapo. And what about Sue and the new one, Signy? They were Jews. Hogan didn't believe for a second that Klink or any of the guards were dyed-in-the-wool Nazis, but propaganda was a powerful thing and they had been subjected to it for a decade. And after what he had been told about-
Hogan shook his head. No. He couldn't risk turning those two over to Klink.
He couldn't really turn any of them over to Klink. Too many variables, too many mouths to keep shut. What if one of them let something slip? Tuttle tended to talk too much once she got comfortable. And Caroline and that other new one were just children- they could easily be intimidated into giving away information.
He'd send Margherita to collect Wigman and the new one, bring them back down into the tunnels. And then they were all going to London, no ifs, ands, or buts. They could protest all they wanted, but they had to go. They'd give the watch one last try, but if it didn't work, out they went.
His mind made up, Hogan marched purposefully back to his barracks. It was dark, and Hogan could hear a few of the men snoring. The door to his office was slightly ajar, the faint glow of his lamp creeping through. Hogan made his way in and found Kinch, Carter and LeBeau sitting around the coffeepot.
"Any luck with Wigman?" he asked as he entered.
Carter and LeBeau shook their heads. "No sir. He kicked us out as soon as Wilson got there. But Wilson said he would report her condition to you as soon as possible," Carter explained.
"Fine. Kinch? Has Newkirk checked in?"
"Not yet," Kinch reported. "But it's early. It'll probably be another half an hour at least."
"All right. After he calls, I want you to get on the horn with London. LeBeau, make sure there's enough room for the new ones in the tunnels. And keep Crittendon far away from the women."
"Ah, oui, I am on it, Colonel. What about the one in the cooler?"
"Carter, go find out which cell she's in," Hogan ordered. "If it has a tunnel entrance, get her down there."
"Right."
Hogan blew out a breath. "Kinch, after Newkirk calls, I need to make a call to London."
"Are we sending the authors there?" Carter asked.
Hogan nodded. "As soon as Newkirk gets in, get him to make sure all the women have civilian clothes. Carter, get on the paperwork. This is top priority."
"But the timeline-" Kinch started to protest.
"Hang it. We can't have these women here. It's getting too dangerous and too chaotic. We'll try the watch one more time, but if it doesn't work, London can deal with them. We're running a sabotage operation, not a hotel for time travelers. And if London pries them for information, well, it's better our side gets it than the Nazis do."
"They will not be happy," LeBeau warned.
"They don't have to be happy. They just have to follow orders," Hogan said. "Carter, draw up a list of volunteers to escort them to the sub. We need to get them out of here by the end of the week."
"I volunteer, Colonel," Carter replied.
"Oui. Me too," LeBeau said.
"Fine, but we need a few more. Get on it."
"Right away, Colonel." The men stood up and hurried out of the room to complete their assignments.
"Oh come on!" Kinch cried out.
Hogan quickly got up and ran into the common room. Through the darkness he could see a figure near Kinch's bunk. One of the women. They couldn't just follow orders and stay in the damn tunnel.
"What on earth are you-"
Suddenly, the door to the barracks burst open and the lights came on. Kommandant Klink came marching in. "Hogan, I was just thinking that the woman might want to see a friendly-" Klink stopped and followed the men's gaze to Abracadebra. He looked between her and the men a few times before stomping his foot.
"Don't tell me- she just appeared," Klink said, snapping his fingers.
Hogan stifled a groan and glared daggers at Abracadebra.
He was going to kill her.
Tuttle's Note: Sorry it's been so long since this has been updated. The experiment is still in progress! We can finish it, everyone!
