Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for the reviews! I love reading them to know what you think.

You probably noticed I just recently added titles to all the chapters. I've never been good at titles so they kinda suck, but I tried.

Just wanted to let you all know that there is a discussion of BDSM in this chapter (as I noted in the last one). I hope you all enjoy!


By the time I was done feasting on my meal, I laid in the hospital bed, completely exhausted from eating so much food. I was hesitant at first, but Dimitri had convinced me to get something into my stomach after not eating for so long. He knew it was hard for me after everything I had gone through, but he wasn't going to let me starve myself. Plus, I didn't actually mind eating some mouth-watering fast food. The alternative was hospital food and I definitely wasn't up for that.

When it was time for everyone to go to bed, they said their goodnights and gave me warm hugs before they left. The only person who stayed behind was Dimitri. He had changed into a pair of sweats and a loose grey t-shirt to make himself comfortable as he would be sleeping in the little sofa bed on the side of the room. It was one of those couches that extended into a bed, and although it was probably uncomfortable and a little small for him, he didn't seem to mind. He was resting under the blanket and his head was propped up with a pillow as he read one his western novels.

"Comrade," I called, interrupting his read. He looked over at me and smiled, putting his book down as I moved to the side and patted the space beside me. Dimitri peeled the blanket off and walked over before lying down in the open space. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in close so that I could lie on my side and rest my head on his chest. His other hand found mine and he clasped it over his heart.

"Does this position hurt your chest?" he asked, caressing my fingers in a back-and-forth motion with his thumb.

"No," I responded. We were quiet for the next few minutes, giving nothing but small caresses until I decided to bring up what was on my mind for so long. "I wanted to talk about us. Where we're going to go from here."

"Well, I think the only issue is that as long as you're still living at the academy, we still need to keep it a secret. Most of the guardians at the school know, your parents know, and your closest friends know. But the rest of the students and most of the moroi teachers don't. I may not be your teacher anymore and you're eighteen, but I still don't think we should risk things too much."

"So, keep it on the down-low for now?" I asked.

"Yes. For now."

"I can live with that. But we still need to talk about the other thing. You know, the dom/sub thing." Good god, I sounded so much like a teenager when I said it like that. It was just hard for me to say it out loud. It was something I secretly longed for, but I never really had the chance to explore that side of me.

Dimitri tensed, going quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Do you still want that to be a part of our relationship? Is it something you're comfortable with?"

"Yeah. I just don't talk about it that often because I'm shy about it. I'm never really shy about anything...but this is different. People think it's a 'taboo' or whatever. Am I fucked up in the head for being into it after being sexually abused?"

"You're not fucked up," Dimitri said firmly. It was rare for him to swear—in English at least—so hearing him say that meant he was being serious. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to explore a different side of yourself. When it comes to power exchange, people misinterpret it as abuse. And while I agree that there is a fine line between abuse and BDSM, they're completely different."

"But I was abused...badly. I was always in a position where I had no power. I was helpless and I hated that."

Dimitri sighed and sat up before pulling me up with him as gently as he could. He positioned the pillows behind me so that they supported my back and I could sit up comfortably. "I want to face you while we talk about this. Now, I know you hated feeling helpless and you had every reason to. You had no power. However, in this kind of relationship, you do have power. When we discuss things, whether it be about rules, punishments, limits, what you are and aren't okay with—you have every right to say no to something you don't want. This is where the line is drawn. It's all about consent."

"I know. But, don't you still think I'm...weird?" I asked, looking down to hide my blushing face. This was the first time actually being open with Dimitri about something that was usually so hidden.

"I don't think that at all. If you're weird, then I'm weird too. Let's not forget I'm the one who spanked your ass until it turned red."

Dimitri's remark made me blush even harder. Only he could do this to me. "I feel like that actually helped me. I mean, it hurt like a bitch and I'm not asking for it or anything, but I really did feel safe. I didn't feel afraid and I trusted you."

"Exactly. You trusted me not to hurt you," Dimitri explained. "Some people use it as therapy and I think this might help you heal emotionally. It's not something you can dive into and we'll have to talk about limits, but it could help you. I think it's something you should think about. Just don't rush yourself."

"I think about it a lot. When I was abused, I was always dreading what was going to happen to me. I was always so scared and I felt like my pride was completely ripped away from me. But with you, I don't feel any of that. There's no fear. I don't feel like you're putting me down or treating me like an inferior. All I feel is love."

Dimitri's lips tugged up into a warm smile. His hand reached up and caressed the side of my face while his eyes stayed on mine, never leaving them for a second. "Thank you for trusting me. You know I'd never put you down, Roza. You're not someone I see as being less than me or below me. You're a strong, beautiful woman and I don't think you're inferior. I respect your boundaries and I want you to remember that no matter what roles we take on as partners, you'll always be my equal."

Equals. That was what Dimitri and I were. Even when I was submitting to him and allowing him to take control, he still considered our levels to be the same. It made me realize what BDSM was about. It wasn't about putting another person down or taking away their power. It wasn't about causing fear and torment. It was about expressing a much deeper level of trust and love. I could have that with Dimitri. I trusted him more than anyone and if this could please both of us while also helping me cope with my fears, I was willing to try.

I grabbed Dimitri's hand again. "I think this is something we both need and I want to try. I'll just have to take things slow—like, really slow."

"Of course," Dimitri agreed. "I want you to take all the time you need. Whether it be weeks or months or however long you need. I want you to feel safe and I'm here to support you, okay?"

"Okay," I said, nodding my head.

"With that being said," Dimitri continued, "will you let me take care of you while you're healing?"

I grinned, feeling a little flustered inside as I accepted his request. "Okay, comrade."

"Good. Come here," he said softly, wrapping a hand around my head and bringing my close. His gaze matched mine, and only a moment later, he tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine. A small sound escaped my throat as I wrapped an arm around his neck, sliding down onto the bed until he was half-lying on top of me. His tongue slid past my lips very slightly, so I parted my lips more to grant him entrance. His tongue invaded my mouth, claiming it as his territory. My body ignited at the very thought.

Dimitri's fingers weaved through my hair before he grabbed a handful and pulled my head back slightly. "You're mine, Roza."

"I'm all yours," I whispered, pressing my hips up against him. Dimitri's mouth travelled to my jaw and all the way down to my neck, his breath hot against my skin.

"You have no idea how badly I want you right now," he murmured against my neck. Honestly, he could take me right now if he wanted to. I wasn't afraid or hesitant. I was ready for him and I craved the same things he did. I didn't just want him, I needed him.

"Take me now," I begged him. "Please."

"Believe me, Roza, I want to," Dimitri said, pulling back to face me. His finger traced my bottom lip. "But you're in a hospital bed and you've got a severe injury that just got surgically repaired. We can't have sex now. Plus, I think I'd rather be in an actual bedroom."

I groaned, knowing very well that he was right. Still, it was frustrating. Even if we had our own room, I'd still probably have to wait until I healed. The fact that the doctor said it would be a few months was infuriating.

"How the hell am I going to last this long without sex?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey, it's hard for me too, but I don't want to risk hurting you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not an eggshell."

"You are for the next few weeks."

"Dimitri!" I whined.

He laughed at my outburst before placing another sweet but short kiss on my lips. "Your body still needs rest so try to sleep. If you need anything, just wake me up. I'll be right here," he said, gesturing towards the sofa bed. I would have been happier with him sleeping beside me, but he probably didn't want to risk accidentally hurting my chest in his sleep. Plus, the hospital bed was probably too tight for the two of us.

"Okay. Goodnight, Dimitri. And thank you," I mumbled, yawning as he brought the covers up to my chin. He repeated the same motion after me, showing me that he was getting tired.

"Ha. Made you yawn," I giggled. Dimitri laughed and leaned down, placing a loud and lingering kiss on my cheek before he left my side and crawled into his own makeshift bed. I could tell his earlier lack of sleep was still affecting him and he definitely needed to rest.

Our sleep was peaceful for the most part throughout the day, but a knock on the hospital jerked me awake. I had become a bit of a light sleeper since my transition, so even small noises like this were enough to wake me up.

I started to sit up and whimpered when my chest was hit with pain. I usually had someone else supporting me when I tried to get up. I didn't even realize how hard it was to do it myself.

Another pair of hands pushed me down immediately, and I looked up to find Dimitri by my side already. I didn't even notice he had left his bed. "Don't you dare," he said. I relaxed and complied, watching him as he answered the next few knocks. He opened the door, dropping his head to see Nevaeh's little figure in the doorway. She was wearing a pair of pink pajamas; one I had never seen her wear before.

"Nevaeh?" Dimitri said, kneeling down so that he could see her clearly. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I can't sleep," she said quietly, rubbing one of her eyes.

"Were you having another nightmare?" he asked. I frowned. Another?

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"Okay. You can sleep here." Dimitri slid his hands under her arms and picked her up before closing the door. She noticed me watching her and smiled brightly at me.

"Who gave you those pajamas?" I asked her enthusiastically.

"That guy...I forgot his name. Oops."

"Abe," Dimitri finished for her, sitting down on his bed.

"Oh. That's nice of him," I remarked. Dimitri slid up against the wall to give Nevaeh space. I started laughing when she grabbed his hand from behind her and practically yanked him forward so that his chest was right against her back.

"Cuddles!" she exclaimed. Dimitri protested at first, but when she turned over her shoulder and gave him her puppy dog eyes, he gave in and changed his mind.

"Okay, fine," he said, letting her curl up to him. There was a ridiculous smile on my face as I watched him pull the covers up and hug her protectively, keeping her warm and cozy. He placed a kiss on the side of her forehead before resting his head on the pillows. The amount of affection he was showing her made my heart flutter. I wouldn't be surprised if she started seeing him as a dad.

Nevaeh smiled at me again as she snuggled up and made herself comfortable. "Goodnight, everyone. I love you."

"Love you too," I whispered back.

"Love you," Dimitri repeated to her with another yawn. I smiled to myself again before finally drifting off.


The next few days weren't exactly in my favour. I had been discharged, but the doctors had put me on bed rest. I kept wanting to get out of bed which made Dimitri's job of taking care of me much harder. No matter how difficult I was though, he showed no signs of backing down. He intended to make sure my ass was glued to the mattress we had been sharing.

But not today. Today, he was at a meeting in one of the board rooms as we were supposed to head back to the academy in a few hours. So, he had asked Eddie, Lissa, Adrian and Christian to make sure I stayed out of trouble while he was gone.

It didn't work.

Despite the doctor's orders, I resorted to packing my own bag. It wasn't like I had to lift any heavy objects and I just had to move around before I lost my damn mind.

Lissa had been pretty much chasing me around the room while Christian tried to get me to sit down. Eddie and Adrian were helping me pack, but they were throwing everything into my bag rather than folding things first.

"This is why I need to pack my own bag!" I exclaimed, pulling out the now wrinkled clothing out. I noticed the makeup brushed mixed in and shot Adrian and Eddie an annoyed look. "You mixed my makeup with my clothes?!"

"Is there supposed to be a separate bag?" Eddie asked. I didn't even answer him and stormed over to the bathroom to pick up the rest of my utilities.

"Rose, slow down! You're going to hurt yourself," Lissa said worriedly, following me into the bathroom.

"I'm perfectly fine," I protested. "You guys should be packing your own things."

"We already did that last night. Unlike you, we don't leave everything to the last second," Christian said, lifting a brow as I passed him in the doorway.

"Watch it, buddy. I may be injured, but I can still take you on if I want to," I threatened, pointing one of my makeup brushes at his chest.

Christian grinned. "How cute. It's like watching a hamster squeal at a Pitbull."

I threw a pillow at him. "I am not a hamster!"

Eddie shook his head. "What's Dimitri going to think when he catches you running around?"

"Well, Dimitri's not here."

I could feel pain start to form in my chest now, but I ignored it. I knew I should have been listening to my friends, but staying in bed was driving me crazy. I had always been the impulsive girl that liked doing something physical. I was so bored.

My harsh breathing was probably noticeable, because my friends were getting serious now. Adrian and Christian forced me to sit down on the bed while Eddie pulled out his phone and started calling Dimitri.

"Eddie! Don't you dare!" I shouted, struggling against the arms that held me.

"This is what happens when you put Rose fucking Hathaway on bed rest," Christian muttered.

"I'm leaving this room." I burst out of Christian and Adrian's arms, heading for the door.

"No, you're not!" Adrian tried to stop me, but I was too fast for him.

"You can't catch me!" I laughed, twisting the door knob. I was ready to run out, but instead, I bumped into a very tall, muscular figure. I looked up into Dimitri's eyes and my smile faltered.

"What's this I hear about you disobeying orders?" he asked, crossing his arms. The way Dimitri was looking down at me suddenly made me feel three feet tall.

"I-I was just...trying to get some fresh air into the room," I told him, backing up slightly as he walked inside. I heard people laughing behind me and a hand on my shoulder.

"Good luck, Rose," Adrian whispered in my ear. I got laughs as well as some looks of sympathy as everyone else left the room, leaving me alone with Dimitri.

"I'm gone for one hour, and you're already getting yourself into trouble," he stated calmly.

"I mean...are you surprised?" I asked, unable to hide my laughter. Dimitri could barely hold his own amusement back.

"I'm giving you five seconds to get back into that bed, or I'm tanning your ass again."

"Hey! You can't do that. I'm so injured," I said mockingly, putting my hands up on my surgical sight and acting like I was hurt despite the fact that I had literally just spent the past hour being physical when I should have been resting.

"Five," he started, taking a step towards me.

"If I stay in bed any longer, my body is going to look like a rotten apple!"

"Four," he continued, ignoring my protests.

"Dimitri, I swear to god—"

"Three."

"I will spar with you in this bed!"

"Two..."

"Comrade!"

"One."

Before Dimitri even had the chance to get his hands on me, I promptly sat down on the bed, putting my hands on my side to steady myself. I looked up at him mischievously and burst into a fit of giggles. Dimitri rolled his eyes before he loosened up and started laughing along with me.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked, squeezing my cheeks in between his hands.

"You can start by letting me finish packing." As soon as I tried to get up, Dimitri pushed me down again. I leaned back as he came closer, hovering only a few inches above my face.

"Now, Roza, listen to me very carefully. If you don't stay here, I might have to tie you up."

I stopped laughing and bit my lip, speaking softly. "Maybe I like getting tied up."

"Oh really?" Dimitri asked, pushing me all the way down. He grabbed both of my wrists and brought them above my head, pinning them there. It was his first time actually doing that, but I didn't sense any fear or uncertainty inside. If anything, it made me excited.

"You know," he whispered, kissing my jaw, "I still technically owe you a spanking."

"I thought you were all worried about my injury," I said coyly. Dimitri lifted his head, looking down at me with a smile.

"I am, but I'm also a very patient man, Roza. I'll wait until you recover first. Then I'll lay into you."

I sighed, relaxing against his touch. "There's no way you'll remember that."

"Oh, believe me," Dimitri murmured, kissing me softly. "I'll remember."


Dimitri had packed the rest of our things while ordering me to stay in bed for the next hour. I was relieved when he finally let me up as we needed to head to the front lobby and wait to board the jet. I was happy to finally be able to leave and return to the academy. It would be a while until I got back into my regular combat, but I would be in a place I was much more comfortable with, and my parents would finally be a part of my life. I wasn't sure how that would turn out, but I'd have to wait and see.

Dimitri had an arm around my waist for some extra stability as we walked to the front until we were stopped by someone form the hospital. It was Dr. Jones. "Rose! You're leaving soon, right?"

"Yeah. I should be gone in about an hour. Why, is something wrong?"

Dr. Jones pressed her lips into a hard line, glancing between Dimitri and me with a reluctant look on her face. "The man that was helping you—Damian..."

Oh god. I had almost forgotten to ask about him. My head had been so blurred in the past week. He had come to mind a few times, but I thought he would've been fine. If he was dead, they would have told me by now.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"No," she said. "He lost a lot of blood during the fight. There are other injuries and his body is getting weaker but he's refusing medical treatment."

"Wait, what about my blood?" I suggested. "I can heal him within hours or even less than that."

"He doesn't want that either. He doesn't want any form of treatment no matter what we tell him, but he was asking to see you before you left. I think you should. He doesn't have much time left."

I felt my chest start to tighten as I took in the news. Why was he refusing treatment? Did he want to die? I hoped not. I had been the one to drag him into this mess. Deep down, I didn't want him to die.

I looked up at Dimitri who was watching me sympathetically. He patted my shoulder, nodding his head. "Go see him. I'll let you know when we board."

"Thank you," I whispered. Dr. Jones guided me back to the hospital of the institution, staying silent until we reached the ICU. She led me to Damian's room and opened the door.

"I'll give you two some time alone," she said. I nodded gratefully and closed the door before facing the man before me. He had been sleeping, but hearing me come into the room caused him to open his eyes. He was covered in a thick layer of sweat, and his body was trembling. All the colour from his face was drained and his lips were beginning to crack from dehydration. His skin was so deathly pale that it literally scared me. I had never seen a human look so sick and weak. I realized, at that moment, that Damian was dying.

And he didn't want to be saved.


What did you think of their talk? Was it okay? I wanted to touch on the emotional aspects rather than just the physical side of BDSM.

Also, I know the ending is a little different and I just wanted to say the next chapter isn't very happy. It was a little hard for me to write. Anyways, thank you for reading and let me know what you thought!