Hello! Usual disclaimer applies, Marvel's not mine. Still some talk of rage, PTSD etc. in this one. Thanks for the reviews and feedback, hope everyone is keeping safe and well

Chapter 35: It's not what it looks like

She grabs for the sink with her free hand, the tips of her fingers just reaching, there's a wooden tray with soaps, a glass and a plant. She drags it off and there's a load bang, as it clatters to the floor and smashes. Bucky seems to jump at the loud noise and drops Andi immediately, she screams and it rips through the floor of the tower. Bucky almost covers his ears, the sound is piercing. He's woken from his rage and watches her wide eyed and terrified.

In a matter of moments, Bucky backs further away and the bathroom door bursts open, Amelia and Tony run inside. Amelia looks around at a scared Bucky, he's staring at the floor and then she focuses on Andi, who is fighting tears and gasping for air, leaning against the wall, struggling to stand. Amelia goes to her, pulling her close, but Andi panics and pleads, 'no, no…' Amelia wrestles her, grabbing her elbows, 'Andi, Andi, it's me, it's fine, calm down, you're ok.' She can't catch her breath and she's shaking her head frantically, convinced that she's not. Amelia talks her through deep breathing and Tony just stands by the door in surprise.

'You're ok, I'm here, I got you,' Amelia cups her face, stroking her hair flat. Andi calms a little and slides down the wall that she was inching up moments ago. She stares at the broken items on the floor and reaches for her neck, grappling at it. When she pulls her hands away, there is blood and she gets louder again. She looks at Amelia, begging her to convince her she's ok. Amelia strokes her hair away again, 'it's nothing. Just a scratch. You're ok. I promise, I'm here.' Andi sobs loudly, Amelia grabs some tissues and dabs her sister's neck, showing her, 'see, it looks way worse than it is, it's stopped, I promise you.'

A small voice asks 'mommy?' and Amelia keeps her eyes on Andi, her sister shaking her head, ashamed. Amelia demands, 'take her, Tony.' He stumbles and protests, but Amelia shouts, 'now!' Tony looks down at the small girl and chips, 'do you drink coffee?' Rosie giggles and Tony nods, pleased with himself for asking the right question. He bends a little and awkwardly picks her up, at first holding her away from him, but gradually pulling her into his side. 'How do you take it?' He leaves with Rosie and Andi sags, Amelia holds her tightly and looks around the room, trying to understand what the hell happened. She looks at Bucky, he's stood, clenching his fists, his hair half cut and his chest rising and falling quickly. She spots the notebook and closes her eyes. 'What happened here?' Andi looks at the book and in-between tears, mumbles, 'he just lost it.' Andi can't look at Bucky and Amelia steps away picking up the book, she surprises her sister by forcing it towards her, 'get rid of this, now. Any way you can, burn it. God, Andi, you can be so stupid sometimes.' Andi looks mortified at her sister's words. It's brutal, cruel and worst of all, true. 'You could have been seriously hurt, you need to know what you're dealing with,' Amelia looks at her, waiting for a response.

…..

When Steve returns to the lounge he looks around and it's quiet, the tree is twinkling, but no one is present. There's no laughter or singing and he wonders what changed. He hears a distant giggle and as he looks over, he can see Tony holding Rosie, out on the balcony. He's drinking coffee and knocking expresso shots with her. She laughs every time and he jokes 'to your good health! Cheers!' Steve slides the door open and looks confused, seeing Tony with Rosie is unnerving and he knows something isn't right. He steps out and Tony takes a deep breath, 'now, don't get all dramatic on us, but Robo-Cop went bat shit in the bathroom and your queen is picking up the pieces.'

Steve dashes back inside and heads for the rooms, Bucky's door is open and he walks in, hearing voices he follows them to the bathroom. Bucky looks terrified, and he isn't moving, stood statue still. Andi is leaning against a wall, arms wrapped around herself, she's red in the face with black make up smeared down her cheeks, tears wetting her eyes. Steve spies the blood on her neck. Amelia is bent picking up glass and hasn't seen Steve yet. Amelia continues to talk, 'I mean it, Andi, this is bigger than all of us, poor Bucky has too much to deal with and doesn't need your childish antics.' She puts the broken beaker into the bin, she brushes her hands off and walks over to Bucky, reaching for both of his hands and trying to look him in the eye. She sighs, as he doesn't grab her back or even recognise her as there. 'This worked last time,' Amelia mutters to herself. And's head snaps up, 'last time?' Amelia drops Bucky's hands and calmly leads him to sit on the toilet once again. 'It was nothing, he freaked out, grabbed my arm, just a bit of blood. It was an accident.'

Steve steps in, 'he hurt you?' Amelia jumps at the voice and turns to Steve. He looks angry and she hasn't seen this look on him, ever. 'What's going on?' He asks fearfully. Andi puts her hand up to Steve, 'hold up, why didn't you tell us this? Why would you keep that to yourself? Are the magazines right, are you two fucking? Why wouldn't you tell me that? Or Steve, for that matter? Just how dangerous is her, Amelia?'

Amelia rubs her forehead, 'Bucky asked me not to and it was nothing, not like this,' she adds looking around the wrecked room. Andi scoffs, 'I can't believe this, he hurt me and you are defending him. What else are you keeping from us?' Andi storms off and Amelia looks at Steve, nodding to go after her and he hesitates, looking at Bucky. Amelia smiles weakly, 'we are fine.'

Amelia bends down in front of Bucky and calls his name, 'can you hear me?' she looks down, 'I'm so sorry, she doesn't think. This is not your fault.' He croaks out quietly, 'I hurt her.' Amelia has to lean in to even hear him. 'She's fine, Bucky, anyone in your place would have reacted.' He shakes his head, 'she won't forgive me.' Amelia softens, 'then she isn't the sister I grew up with. Here, let me fix your hair. You ok with that?' Bucky continues to stare at the floor and Amelia gently stands, picking up the scissors and finishing the half job, that Andi started. He remains still, only twitching once, when a glimmer of metal catches his eye, as she trims near to his ear.

After a while, Amelia is done, she places the scissors down and sighs, thinking that she will need to clear this mess up. 'You look great Bucky, it changes you. Don't let this set you back.' He doesn't respond, Amelia steps away, giving him space. 'I'll just check the length for you. You want to have a look?' He shakes his head quickly, defiant not to look in a mirror.

Steve steps back inside and stops at the door, relieved to see Amelia still standing. She's bent in front of Bucky, holding each side of his hair. 'You look sharp. Why don't you grab a shower?' Bucky looks up and past her, towards Steve, finally speaking 'is she ok?' Steve exhales and nods, 'will be, just let her cool off.' Amelia washes her hands and pockets the scissors. 'Why don't you shower, Bucky, I've made dinner, so come on out when you're done.' Bucky doesn't move and Amelia feels bad, but knows she can't stand there all night. 'I'll be right outside, ok?' He doesn't move or react and she leaves, Steve follows her, stopping as he closes the door 'I'll wait out here.'

In the bedroom, Steve watches Amelia as she leans against a wall. 'She pushed him into that, Steve, do not blame him.' Steve stops her, 'it's you that I am worried about, when did he hurt you?' Amelia closes her eyes, 'the interview day, there was a bang, a camera and he grabbed me, wouldn't let go, the metal just caught me, really, it was nothing, I talked to him until he warmed back up and he was ok. But he felt awful and I can't stand that, Steve, it's not his fault.' Steve walks towards her and cups her face, 'I need you to look after yourself, don't put yourself in danger.' Amelia shakes free of his hands, pacing away and choking up, 'you're not hearing me, it was nothing!' Steve looks at the ground, 'what if he hurts Rosie?' Amelia stops, 'he wouldn't.' Steve can't believe he is going to say this, 'he might, unintentionally, but he might.' Amelia looks at him indignantly, 'then we will be on our guard, but he won't, I know he won't.'

They hear the shower switch on and she prays he didn't hear them. Amelia throws her hands up 'ugh, it's Christmas eve, how is this my life!' She looks teary eyed and drops onto Bucky's bed. Steve steps up to her and wipes her tears away, 'I love you. Thank you for looking out for him. Give your sister a break, she's not equipped for this, none of us are.' Amelia stares up at him, knowing he is right. 'Just be careful, don't go being a hero,' he warns her. She scoffs, 'you can talk.' Steve watches her and steps back, 'yeah, well, maybe if I wasn't off being the hero I would have been here on that interview day and maybe just now.' Amelia swallows sadly, licking her lips, 'you can't always be there, Steve.'

Andi storms out onto the balcony and Tony looks up, quoting 'hey, little sister, what have you done?' She ignores him and pulls Rosie from her chair, stalking to the door with her. Rosie is grumpy at the disturbance and fights against her Auntie. Tony doesn't like it much and stands, 'hey, hey, where are you going? Leave the kid with me, ok?' Andi sighs dramatically, 'I don't know! But I don't want to be here with any of them.' She waves at the kitchen and when she turns Steve is there, he looks at her sadly and then slowly reaches for Rosie, who easily crawls into him. Andi mellows a little and mumbles 'traitor.' Steve gives her a closed mouth smile and walks away, sliding the door shut behind him.

Tony invites Andi to take a seat and she throws herself into the patio chair, across from the billionaire. 'Love will tear us apart in the end, it's true.' Andi huffs and stares out across the city. He suddenly adopts a serious tone, 'your sister is smart, you'd be wise to listen to her.' Andi laughs bitterly, 'it's like the Amelia Miller fan club around here.' Tony chuckles 'or we aren't used to sensible, caring people, who look out for us?' Andi feels bad and groans remembering it is Christmas eve. She looks through the window and can see Steve bouncing Rosie on his lap, lifting her up and down. 'Sickening, isn't it?' Tony asks. Andi nods and he continues 'if you're going to raise a little hell, you have to accept someone will get burnt, trust me, I know.' She just listens to him. 'Barnes is complex, I imagine it is rather like dating a woman.' Andi rolls her eyes and Tony chimes 'alright, calm down Femin-nazi.' Andi shakes her head, 'that is not appropriate,' muttering 'offensive.' Tony apologises and smiles smugly, 'as was your little notebook, but you would know that if you had considered it a bit more.' He pauses and looks at Steve and Rosie, 'don't blow this kid, you only get one family, yours seem pretty great, your boyfriend is whacko, but each to their own.'

Andi hides her face thinking about Bucky, how is she going to even talk to him, she feels embarrassed that she was so immature. Tony stands and places a hand on her shoulder, before leaving. Andi sits there for another ten minutes before stepping back inside. She spots Amelia in the lounge, rearranging decorations on the tree. Andi nods to her and calls her into the kitchen. Steve looks between them nervously.

Andi hops onto the counter and lifts her head, Amelia inspects her neck and gets to work, wiping it and applying a band aid that she took from the bathroom. They don't speak until Andi jokes 'I hope it's an Avengers one.' Amelia eyes her cynically 'a Bucky Barnes one?' Just like that, the confident facade melts away and Andi closes her eyes, feeling warm tears again. 'I'm so sorry, I should have thought more. I'm sorry I accused you of sleeping with him. I feel terrible, he was scared, I scared him. Will he forgive me?' Amelia strokes the band aid and replaces Andi's silky, blonde hair. She nods 'I think so, but talk it out. There's going to be tough times, and you need to decide if you are up for it.' Andi nods and regards her sister, 'you always save me.' Amelia smiles, 'that's what big sisters are for.' Andi shakes her head, trying to warn off tears, 'everyone thinks I'm crazy.' Amelia kisses her cheek softly, 'no they don't and anyway, all the best people are,' she leaves her sister to think it all over.

Andi creeps into Bucky's room, slowly and finds the shower on, there's steam spilling from under the door and she taps it quietly, calling his name. There's no response and she worries he will never talk to her again. When she sticks her head in, she can hardly see for steam, but a topless Bucky is apparent in the middle of the room. She steps in and closes the door. She chuckles silently at his cut hair, knowing Amelia did it, she can't help herself, she mothers and fixes everything.

She stands opposite him and he is staring at the floor. 'It looks good,' she offers and he lifts his head slowly. His eyes trail to her neck immediately, Andi subconsciously touches it, 'I'm sorry, I was stupid. Please forgive me.' His eyes trace her lips, but never make it to her eyes, falling back to her neck. 'I'm fine, see?' she holds her hair back and flashes the full band aid at him, 'just a pinch. You need to come at me with more than that, Barnes,' he stares at her. 'Shit, sorry, I can't help it.'

She looks around and thinks about turning the water off, he clearly hasn't used it. 'Thing is, I like you a lot and Mia is right, this is part of it and I want in. Don't go coy on me or not make eye contact with me for a week, and please stop with the puppy dog eyes. I really like you. This could be great. I promise I won't cock it up again. That's if you can forgive me?' She turns to leave and Bucky stops her. He grabs her arm and silently asks her to stay. Andi thinks about stripping and getting in, but she sits on the toilet and watches as he quietly undresses and steps into the shower. After a long while his voice floats to her, 'I like you too. I'm sorry as well.' Andi smiles and looks at the hazy glass of the shower.

After a long gap of silence, he croakily asks 'what's your best Christmas memory?' Andi thinks about it and lifts both feet up to sit cross legged. 'Uh, my mom used to make pancakes on Christmas morning and when she left it was one of my first thoughts. Who would make us pancakes? That's how good of a mom she was. And I came down that Christmas day, and there was my big sister flipping pancakes, they weren't round and some were undercooked, but she tried. She remembered how much I loved it.' Andi wipes her face briskly, smiling about the wonder that is her sister. She drops her head and weeps into her lap, the shower still pouring and steam warming the room. 'I don't know what I'd do without her.' Bucky doesn't respond again and Andi cradles her knees, tearfully waiting for him to finish.

Andi leaves Bucky to get dressed and he eventually shuffles back into the lounge, much later, hoping for minimal fuss. He stands behind the sofa, everyone looks lethargic and Bucky's brow creases, 'why is the TV muted?' He mutters and everyone jumps at his voice.

Andi looks over, relieved to see him, 'Rosie is scared of the music and the old man with the shovel.' Bucky looks at the child and Andi follows his gaze, 'and…. now she's asleep! So, it's muted for no reason at all.' Andi looks back to the movie, patting the seat beside her, she laughs loudly, 'Rosie thinks these two look like you and Steve!' Bucky looks puzzled once again and asks, 'what is this?' Amelia, Tony and Andi all answer at once, 'Home Alone.'

Rosie is fast asleep on her mother. 'Time to go to bed I think,' Amelia calls as she stands and lifts her daughter. Rosie fights her and insists on saying goodnight to everyone one by one. Tony offers her a fist bump, Natasha accepts a hug and Bucky gets a kiss on the cheek. He looks sad and Andi coughs, mouthing none of that. Steve smiles at them, watching them go, until Amelia calls, 'you coming, Steve?' he looks elated and jumps up following them quickly. Steve gently squeezes Bucky's shoulder as he leaves, 'we'll talk tomorrow,' he promises quietly and Bucky is grateful for the temporary reprieve. He watches them leave and catches Andi staring at him, she quickly looks away.

…..

As they tuck Rosie in she asks sleepily, 'do you think he will come? Will he find me here?' Amelia nods enthusiastically, 'absolutely, Mommy told him you were away from home.' Amelia sits beside Rosie on the bed and Rosie asks her, 'what did you ask Santa for Mamma?' Amelia thinks about it and then says 'for my family to be happy and healthy and for an Audi R8…' she trails off, smirking at Steve. 'Stevie. What did you ask for?' Steve smiles down at them both and thinks for a while 'I asked for a sign and I got one.' He says as he strokes Amelia's face. She feels a little hot, his warm hand, sweet words and blue eyes, then a voice says, 'a stop sign?' He just laughs and says 'something like that.'

Amelia kisses her head and they both leave the sleepy child, closing the door gently. Once in the hallway, Amelia waves a finger at Steve, beckoning him into his room.

Steve smiles and follows her inside, Amelia rushes for her duffel bag and rummages through it, grabbing something. Steve watches her and folds his arms in anticipation.

'I got you an early gift.' Steve looks at her in surprise, she passes him a card and he looks at the red envelope. Amelia bites her lip and fidgets with her hands, almost like she wants to take it back. Before she can, Steve rips into it. He opens a card and a folded piece of paper falls out. Steve reads the card, a sweet message from Amelia in her looped scrawl, how much she loves him and being with him has changed her life. His eyes flick to the bed and he bends grabbing the note. She's blushing already and begins to explain, 'you know how you have that list of things to do and learn about... well, I made you a list…' Steve's eyes widen as he unfolds the paper, looking down at it, his cheeks flash pink and he says 'Amelia, this is a list of...' She tries to keep her eyes on him, 'this is a x-rated list of things to do… to… with you…' he says quietly, like he's embarrassed. He continues to skim the list, he coughs lightly at one or two items detailed. 'Your childhood bedroom, really?' She nods enthusiastically, 'hey, I was a good girl at school, no boys in my room.' He smiles and keeps reading, 'in a quinjet...' he reads, his eyes flick to her and she plays with her fingers, 'Well, I was a bit disappointed when we left the jet that night, I thought if you sat in the captain's seat, I could...' by a small mercy, Steve's phone rings before he combusts. He takes a quick call from Tony and folds the list, placing it in his shirt pocket. 'I'll keep this, Miss Miller, I think we can work our way through it,' Amelia nods, 'good decision Captain, I just want to make sure you are all up to date.' She looks around and then asks 'you wouldn't want to start right now, would you?' Steve smiles at her, catching her hand, 'thank you for today, I know things were a little dramatic, but you really came through for Buck and I just wanted to say thanks.' Amelia leans up and kisses him gently, 'I love you.' Steve looks down sadly, catching the warm glint in her eyes, 'I just can't stop thinking about today and Bucky, you, him, Andi.' Amelia strokes his face with the back of her hand, 'I know, I get it. Come on, let's get some rest. It will be Christmas soon.' Steve looks at her open palm and shakes his head a little, 'I should talk to him.' Amelia steps in front of him, 'maybe some space would do him some good? Come on, you can't always be the hero.' Steve accepts this and sits down on his bed. Amelia climbs into his lap, 'I told you there would be tears and tantrums.' Steve laughs a little, a bitter, sad laugh. Amelia jumps up, 'he will be ok, he has you, remember? Come on, I've got another killer pyjama set that you will just love.' Steve chuckles at her and watches her head for the bathroom with a playful smirk.

…..

'I know you're awake, it's me who's the insomniac, remember?' Bucky states coolly. Andi rolls over in bed to face him, it's pitch black and she can only just make out his outline. 'Do you want me to find another room?' Bucky scoffs, 'no, why?' She looks embarrassed and she's grateful he can't see her heated cheeks, 'I… what I did, what happened, how I reacted, the entire thing is an embarrassing affair, I would understand if you needed a break from me.' Bucky surprises her, leaning across and hitting the lamp switch. She flinches, squinting dramatically. He looks at her pointedly, unaffected by the bright light, 'I hurt you, I should be offering to go.' His eyes flick to the bandaid on her neck and she gently touches it, 'I've had worse, honestly, I'm fine.'

She rolls to face him, burying a hand beneath her pillow, 'hey, what's the worst job you have ever had, apart from the obvious?' Bucky looks at her, surprised by the topic change. 'Umm, ok, I worked down the docks one summer, with my dad, that was pretty dreadful.' Andi stares at him with a slightly open mouth, 'okkkkkk, we have lived very different lives.' He laughs a little, 'and you?' She knows her answer, 'I worked at a pharmacy for a summer, behind the counter. I hated it.' Bucky looks dubious, 'yeah, sure, indoors, heating, no outside elements to deal with, no physical labour, sounds real rough.' She looks embarrassed, 'I quit swimming and my dad said I needed to get a job, I spent my time trying the lipsticks and flirting with boys.' Bucky nods sceptically, thinking of course she did. 'There was this one guy, Charlie, his name was. He came in with his friends and I would flirt desperately, and then this one day, I was showing off, I don't wish to get into the details.' Bucky smiles smugly at her, 'and I fell through a glass perfume cabinet. Glass everywhere, all over me, cuts all over my arms and worst of all, my pride was in tatters, now that hurt! and yet…' Andi quietens, 'today feels like a low point for me, pride wise…' She rolls onto her back and looks at the ceiling, 'I think I underestimated you and this and where your head is at and for that, I am really, really sorry.' Bucky looks at her, genuinely surprised by the admission. 'At the interview, I left, I freaked… a few things dawned on me and I wanted to ignore them and today, it caught up with me.' Bucky doesn't move, wondering what she's about to say, is she out? Is she breaking it off? He would understand, he berates himself for ever thinking he could have it normal. 'I'm in,' Andi states with certainty in her voice. Bucky double takes, opening his mouth for clarification and she leans over kissing where metal meets flesh. 'I'm all in, teach me to help you, not hinder you.' Bucky feels confused, her asking him for help, her apologising for hurting him. He doesn't know himself how to help, but he's willing to try with her. Andi watches him, the clogs in his head clearly turning. 'Come on, Santa won't come if I'm awake, I don't know about you, maybe you have some kind of deal worked out?' She smiles genuinely and kisses his lips softly, reaching for the light switch and pulling his arm around her.

After a while, Bucky's voice echoes through the dark room, 'Steve is disappointed with me, I can tell.' Andi sighs loudly, 'don't blame yourself, it was me, all my fault, buying that stupid diary.' Bucky scoffs, 'it sounds even more ridiculous when you break it down to that.' Andi snuggles into his arms, 'your bathroom will recover and so will you.'

…..

'Hey, what are you doing up so late?' Amelia looks up from the couch, smiling at a yawning Steve. He walks into the lounge and stands looking down at her, hands in his plaid pyjama pockets. 'Sorry, did I wake you?' Steve shakes his head, 'no, I rolled over and you were gone, I was a bit concerned.'

Amelia snuggles into the blanket around her shoulders, 'this is my favourite part.' Steve looks between her and the TV, 'of the movie?' She shakes her head, biting her lip, 'no, of Christmas, just before everything starts, late on Christmas Eve.' Steve smiles and sits down beside her, throwing an arm over her shoulders, Amelia leaning into him, he asks, 'what do you like about it?' She nods at the TV, 'I always watch a film, there's always something on, Jingle All the Way, Wonderful Life... and it's dark, everyone's asleep, the fun hasn't started yet and this time tomorrow it will all be nearly over. Rosie's asleep, I hope! Andi's asleep and sometimes Santa needs my help.' Steve watches her warmly, laughing at the last part, 'that's very good of you to give him an escort.' Amelia smirks, 'he's a very busy man, he needs to be efficient!'

'What are you watching?' Steve asks, pulling her close. Amelia smiles, 'Meet Me in St. Louis.' They sit in a comfortable silence for a time, Steve looks around the room, it's dark, only lit by a lamp and the sparkling tree lights. He kisses the top of Amelia's head and she sings against his chest. His eyes travel to the tree, the presents marked Rosalyn and the crammed stockings. He catches sight or a small pie dish on the coffee table, 'did you eat a mince pie?' Amelia giggles against him, 'only half, I helped Santa out.' She sighs happily, asking dreamily 'is it Christmas yet?' Steve looks at the clock on the wall, 'you've still got fifteen minutes.'

Steve stares at the tree, it's mix matched and the lights don't all work, but he's proud of it. His thoughts drift to Peggy and what she's doing over the Christmas period. 'What are you thinking?' Amelia mumbles, Steve admits quietly, 'Peggy.' Amelia smiles, 'she's ok, she's not alone, she's got her family. Did you send the gift?' Steve gives her a single nod, 'maybe we could visit in the new year? I thought we might take Rosie? Unless you're not sure?' Steve looks surprised, but warms and kisses her forehead, 'that sounds good.'

Amelia snuggles into the blanket, enjoying the new warmth from Steve. 'You know, I think you are a really good singer.' Amelia sits up quickly, pulling away from him, 'no! No, you're kidding, you didn't hear me.' Steve smiles at her, opening his arm and encouraging her back towards him. Amelia buries her face in his white shirt, 'uhhh, I'm so embarrassed!' Steve chuckles at her. Amelia closes her eyes, 'I thought everyone was asleep!'

Amelia sighs, watching the movie, 'today was hard.' Steve looks down at her, 'with Bucky?' She just nods, Steve continues sadly, 'I'm sorry, I know it's not what Christmas is about.' She shakes her head, 'it's about family, whatever they are feeling, I just feel so bad for him, it's so sad. I think my sister has had a wake up call, that's for sure.'

Amelia's eyes sparkle with tears and she shakes them away, 'oh now this is my favourite part, I love this song.' Amelia smiles at a young, singing Judy Garland. Steve holds her close, nose buried in her hair, he whispers, 'isn't she the ruby slippers girl?' Amelia is impressed and merely nods, enjoying the moment. Steve looks at her closely, as she mouths the words to the song, 'you want to dance?' Amelia shakes her head, 'I'm way to comfy to move.'

After a while, Steve looks to the wall, speaking quietly into her ear, 'Merry Christmas.' Amelia relaxes, knowing they made it.

…..

In the morning, Amelia awakens first. She wipes her eyes and adjusts to daylight, smiling as she realises she's awake before Steve. She remembers him persuading her to come to bed, switching off the TV and climbing into his soft sheets. She watches his chest rise and fall steadily and strokes a finger over his ruffled eyebrow. She drags her foot up the inside of his calf and she wakes him with small kisses to his jaw.

'Merry Christmas,' he says quietly. She yawns and stretches, 'oh my God, it is, isn't it?' Steve nods and kisses her nose.

'Did you get me a gift?' she asks coyly. 'Maybe' he says offhand. She watches as he shifts and sits on the edge of the bed, he leans down, hunting in his nightstand and Amelia crawls over, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and peering over. 'So, that's where you keep your top secret stuff, is it?' She teases and kisses his cheek. Steve pulls out a small box, wrapped in red paper, with a white bow. He holds it in his hand and looks down at it, smiling. Amelia is still leaning over and her flirty smile slips, for a moment questioning what could be in such a small box. Steve says warmly, 'I've had this for a while now, but thought I should wait until Christmas.' Steve grins at her over his shoulder and Amelia crawls around to sit beside him. She gratefully accepts the gift and her heart races. 'Thank you,' she whispers sincerely, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. 'Can I open it now?' She asks eagerly. Steve nods and she carefully unwraps the gift. Inside is a small jewellery box and she hesitates before pulling the lid off, there's two emerald earrings and Amelia exhales a little before gasping and looking at Steve, 'are they real?' He laughs, 'I hope so, or I over-payed.' She chuckles and quickly puts them in, 'Oh my God, I love them, no one has ever bought me jewellery, thank you.' Steve raises a brow, surprised by that, but as he looks at her and remembers her helping Bucky yesterday, cutting his hair, consoling her sister, he wonders if she gets all the attention she deserves. She cups her ears, asking, 'how do they look?' He strokes her long, brown locks behind her ear and smiles, 'they look great.'

'Oh, there's something else.' Amelia gasps, 'you're spoiling me,' she follows his pointing finger over to the kitchen area and she throws her head back laughing. She smiles looking at his unopened food mixer, with a big red bow stuck to the top. 'Aww you're so thoughtful, you bought me a mixer.' Steve nods and kisses her shoulder, 'enjoy.' She turns to him, 'you're sure? What if you wanna make a cake? It's yours.' Steve smiles warmly, 'well now it's yours.'

Amelia grins, hearing Rosie cheering and running down the hallway, she thinks about getting up, but hears Andi chasing after her. Amelia turns back and Steve is looking at the door as well and she says, 'you know we never talked about this, me having a kid. Are you ok with it? I feel a bit stupid, that I've never asked and honestly if you say no, I don't know what happens.' Steve smiles and leans in, kissing her nose. 'I remember the first time I met Rosie, she was pretending to talk on the phone to Bucky and hidden behind your legs and if it wasn't for her, I might not have seen you again, or leant you the scrap book, who knows? But every moment since, she has only brought me joy and as far as I can tell, I won the lottery, two for the price of one.' Amelia smiles at Steve, leaning into kiss him, until a voice in the hallway interrupts them, 'Santa better deliver this year, he's been a bit cheap of late!' Amelia winces and asks, 'three for the price of one?'

As Amelia walks into the lounge, everyone is there. Bucky is sat on the couch, Andi and Rosie are unwrapping stockings on the floor and Nat and Bruce are sat on a sofa together. Wanda and Vision are sat on a couch of their own, Amelia smiles at them, but they seem to keep themselves to themselves, so she doesn't pry. Andi is telling a story, '…every year she would leave a note saying, don't come to my room, leave the gifts in the lounge, thank you. Amelia Hannah Miller. Claimed she didn't want a man in her room.' People laugh and Amelia rolls her eyes. 'That's the best bit, isn't it?' Natasha asks. Bucky pulls a face, 'ugh, Santa? Really?' Natasha just smirks.

There are lots of Merry Christmas' floating around the room and Amelia drops down beside Bucky, 'your hair looks good.' He looks up at her and she says 'oops sorry, maybe I should move, don't want anyone thinking we are screwing around.' Andi huffs, 'fine, ha ha laugh it up.' Bucky smiles faintly, Amelia leans into him, 'you ok? Doing alright?' He nods and hesitates before gently knocking a metal knuckle against her hand. 'Thank you for yesterday.' Amelia smiles and kisses his cheek, 'Merry Christmas!'

Andi announces loudly, 'presents!'

Andi passes Rosie a gift from her. Rosie tears into it quickly and looks at a notebook. 'Don't worry, it's not like my last choice,' Andi jokes. Rosie doesn't know what to do with it. 'It's an autograph book, kid, so you can make some money out of knowing this lot!' When Rosie opens the next parcel, it's a large pen and she understands and crawling over to Bruce she asks him to sign. He merely writes Dr Banner and everyone moans at him.

Andi grabs another of her gifts and passes it to Bucky. He eyes the large box and gently unwraps it, inside is an instant camera and he looks at it confused. 'Don't worry, Barnes, I'll show you.' She gives Steve a photo album, empty for new memories, the tag reads. She buys Steve a book called Modern Women and she gifts everyone a day out to the Captain America exhibition. 'There's some good bits that I think you will like, old photos of you both, and other stuff too.' Steve and Bucky smile at each other and Amelia says 'well, I can tell you have a job, last year you gave me a tin of cookies.'

Bruce and Nat give Amelia and Andi baseball caps and they try to look polite and grateful, but don't honestly understand. 'It's for your disguise,' Natasha explains with a smirk. They can tell she thinks she is funny and Rosie begs them to wear the hats. Steve gives Rosie an art set and Amelia opens a gift which is an old mobile phone. 'It's a burner phone, so we can chat, while I'm away, sometimes.' Amelia smiles brightly, 'that's so sweet, thank you.' She leans her head on Steve's shoulder and Andi mutters to Bucky, 'well, I've over spent, if she's happy with that old thing.' He looks at her meekly, eyes glancing at her neck, Andi pulls back, confused. 'I thought we were fine?' she asks. He just nods and smiles at her. Natasha asks what Amelia got from Steve and she explains, 'oh, he gave it to me earlier, in the bedroom.' Everyone laughs and Amelia blushes profusely. 'Not like that, children,' Steve berates them. Bucky is chuckling and Steve looks over at him, tilting a head to the kitchen, intimating that they need to talk.

Steve steps into the other room and waits for Bucky, leaning against the sink. Bucky walks in, looking down. 'Your hair looks good,' Steve comments, Bucky just nods. They both begin to speak and Steve waves a hand, allowing Bucky to start. 'Look, I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Mia, Andi, neither of them and I won't ever hurt Rosie, you know that.' Steve watches him and wonders if he heard the conversation last night. 'I'm not worried,' Steve plays it down, 'I am worried about you, is the therapy enough? Is this too much? You and her? Me and Amelia?' Bucky looks up quickly, 'no, no way, not you and Amelia, don't be ridiculous, Steve. And Andi and I, well… we are learning together.' Steve can appreciate this, but he is still concerned. 'You're angry with me,' Bucky says shyly. Steve shakes his head, 'no, it was a mistake, Andi played her part, but look... I never thought anything would come between us, but the thought of you with Amelia up against a wall like that, I almost can't put that into words and I don't know what I would do.' Bucky swallows, 'it wasn't like that.' Steve agrees, 'I know, but I am just being honest with you, things are changing for all of us. Do you think you will be up for Maine? Long journey?' Bucky nods sadly and Steve jokes, 'Amelia sleeps a lot in the car, even from here to her place, so I will need the company.' Bucky laughs and an alarm makes them both jump a little.

Amelia rushes in and stops at the sight of them both, 'oh, sorry, that's my turkey.' She points at the oven and Steve ushers her in as he smiles at her. 'Turkey, can you believe it, Buck?' Bucky scoffs and shouts 'marry her, quick!' Before he heads back to the lounge.

Steve looks down, Amelia has her back to him and he can't help but think that sounds like a great idea. He's doesn't think Amelia heard the comment and he walks up and kisses the back of her neck, 'can I help with anything?' she denies him and he says, 'I don't expect you to do this because you're a… you know, a woman.' Amelia laughs loudly, 'good, because we wouldn't be dating, Rogers. You know what, you can help, grab some plates.' Steve reaches for a pile of dishes and places them on the counter. Amelia is fanning herself, stood beside the turkey, muttering about it needing a little longer, he stands back and watches her. She's blowing her hair out of her face and wiping her head with the back of her hand. She takes a deep breath and almost limbers up to lift the turkey back into the oven. Steve thinks he could watch her all day, she always seems to be in conversation with herself. When she turns around, he looks away, smirking to himself. She looks very pink in the face and fans herself with a towel. Steve walks over at taps her earring gently, 'they look good.' He leans in and kisses her, as he pulls back he hums happily, 'I like waking up with you.' Amelia blushes and thinks about the key she wants to give Steve for their new place, she's nervous it is too big of a step, so it's still buried in her bag. She reasons that it's not moving in, it's just for emergencies. But he's right, waking up together is special, 'a crazy few months, hey?' Amelia swallows, his words unintentionally reminding her it is too soon and she knows the key will remain hidden. He kisses her temple and mutters, 'love you.'

Andi calls them back in, 'Bucky is getting a gift, it's big, looks like a sports car, yeah, definitely a sports car.' Amelia dashes in a little pink in the face and looks disappointed. Andi smiles at her pouty look. Steve strolls in and sits on the sofa, 'you need help, Buck?' he calls. There follows a short 'no.' Andi tries not to laugh and encourages Rosie to cover her face. Amelia asks, 'who is it for?' Steve scratches his head, 'all of you, I think.'

Bucky's head appears at the hallway entrance and he asks if they are ready. Andi nods and Rosie has both hands pressed to her eyes, Amelia folds her arms, smiling. Bucky appears with a glass bowl, filled with coloured stones, a small resin castle and a goldfish. Amelia's eyes widen in horror and Andi laughs loudly. Bucky tries to remain focused and places the bowl on the coffee table, explaining, 'it's kind of a house warming and a Christmas present.' Rosie is still covering her face and Bucky calls to her. She opens her eyes and looks around, finally spotting the fish. She squeals and presses her face against the glass and begins to well up. Andi is staring at it in excitement, 'aww what shall we call it?' Amelia looks unsure, she's not that keen on fish, but it's a sweet sentiment. Rosie shouts loudly 'let's call it Tony!' Amelia tries to put a stop to that and Natasha waves a hand, 'perfect name, good choice girls.' Rosie runs and hugs Bucky's leg, 'thank you for Tony, I will look after him and hug him all day.' He looks up alarmed and Amelia shakes her head, confirming, she won't let that happen.

Rosie drags Bucky to kneel beside her and look in at the fish, she asks endless questions and Steve leans in to Amelia, 'I tried to talk him out of it, but seems like it's an inside joke.' Amelia smiles watching her sister and daughter fawn over the fish and the man.

'Amelia, what about your beau? Where's Steve's gift?' Andi taunts her sister, Amelia sighs deeply and stands, nervously fiddling with her fingers, she reaches behind the tree and pulls out a large, flat gift. Rosie claps and announces, 'I used a pen on the tag!' Amelia places the gift in front of Steve and he looks around the group, almost unsure that it is solely for him. He reaches for the label and scans the message, it simply reads Rosie. Steve laughs to himself and thanks them all genuinely, the little girl chanting open it.

Amelia sits back down and watches on, with red cheeks and anxiously biting her gum. Steve calmly tears into the red striped paper, discarding it and staring at the gift. It's a large photo frame with a collage mount, inside there are photos of him and Bucky, some old and some new, as well as gaps for more photos and one of Rosie. 'That's me, that's me!' She tells him merrily, he looks from her to Amelia, and she explains, 'I didn't want to assume anything; hence we aren't there, but someone begged me and insisted I included her.' Steve grins at the story and looks back at the frame, 'where did you get some of these?' He asks in wonder and Amelia explains 'online mainly, some we had that Andi took.'

Andi coughs 'stalker.' Once again, Steve looks at the frame, Amelia speaks, 'it's just you don't have any photos up and I thought it would add something to your room.' Steve spots a picture of Peggy, running a sad finger across the edge of the frame, he looks at Amelia with sincere gratitude and she blushes, hoping she made the right decision. Rosie looks over, leaning across and placing a sweaty palm in the middle of the glass, 'where's mamma?' She looks confused, scrunching her nose and Amelia tries to humbly interrupt. Steve calls Rosie back, to sit beside him, 'you're right, Rosie, Mommy is missing, we will need to fix that.' Amelia smiles at him coyly and Natasha rolls her eyes at the three of them. Bustle around them continues as someone reaches for the next gift and Steve mouths a thank you to Amelia, smiling warmly at her.

Later, Andi walks down the long hallway, stopping beside Steve's open door. She taps gently and calls, 'knock knock.' He's on his own, propping his newly gifted picture frame against the wall. He looks up in surprise, 'oh hey, all ok?' Andi nods and awkwardly steps in, hands behind her back. 'I just wanted to say, how sorry I am about yesterday and Bucky, the haircut, the book, me. I'm really sorry.' Steve is shocked and doesn't respond. Andi walks closer to him, reaching behind her back, she passes him an envelope. 'UH, Merry Christmas, I guess!' She sings awkwardly and Steve raises a brow at her, dreading what's inside. He rips into the seal and reaches in, pulling out a pile of photos. There's photos of Amelia, Amelia with Rosie, Steve with both the birthday party, Amelia and Steve at the gala, Bucky and Steve at the same event. 'My sister may be modest, but I sure as hell ain't. Hopefully I left the topless ones of Barnes at home!' Steve grins at her words and the images, 'thanks, Andi, these are great, just what I need.' He takes one of the pictures and tucks it in the frame. Smiling at the image of Amelia hugging Rosie close. He sighs looking around the empty walls, knowing she's right it, does need some personality in there. The photos remind him of Peggy's room and he smiles sadly, looking at the image of her younger face. When he looks back to Andi, she throws herself into his arms, squeezing him tightly. She whispers 'thank you, for making her so happy.' Steve looks confused, but settles, holding her near. She quickly pulls back, coughing, 'this never happened!' Backing away, 'I mean it, tell no one! Dinner's ready, get out here.' He laughs at her and when he looks back again, she's disappeared.

In the evening, Rosie is asleep and Amelia is making a hot drink, packing up left-overs. Steve stops beside the entrance and watches her, once again enjoying the normalcy of it. She's changed for bed, a black strapped shirt and long bottoms, no iron man faces, for once. 'You know, you don't need to do that, we won't even be here,' he offers. She looks around quickly, 'I always do, hopefully it is good food and we might not be here, but others will be, Nat, Bruce.' Steve nods and watches her put the last plate in the fridge and return to her stewing tea. She has her back to him and calls, 'have you had a nice day? I know we rather invaded you, but hopefully it felt festive?' When she turns around Steve is behind her, towering above and backing her up against the counter, 'it might be the best Christmas I've ever had,' he says lowly. She giggles anxiously, 'well, then you have very low standards.' He shakes his head, 'no, I love having you here, with me, watching TV, shredding veg, anything normal, I've never felt so… whole, is that corny?' Amelia tilts her head and looks at Steve with a sad smile, he's so honest and wants for so little, for the first time she knows she can give him what he wants and it isn't a magazine ready model on his arm. She places a soft palm against his cheek and leans in, pressing her lips to his. As she pulls back, she says 'that's what families are for.' Steve smiles and presses his face to her neck, making Amelia moan and throw her head back. She lets out a shriek as Steve lifts her and sits her on the counter, stepping between her legs. He strokes her hair and traces her face with his eyes, admiring her freckles and pink lips, he trails a finger down her neck and gently knocks her straps off her shoulders. Kissing her chest and feeling her heart pound beneath his palm. Amelia is gripping the counter, scared to let go and coming undone, just by the way he watches her. Steve mutters, 'any rules we should know for New Year's?' Amelia can hardly hear him, 'umm, don't do this in their kitchen?' Steve chuckles against her collarbone, 'noted.' Amelia's top is slipping dangerously low and Steve wraps his arms around her, dragging her towards him. She moans as her soft front hits his hard body and he kisses her through her shirt as she grasps his hair. He drags his nails up her arms, caressing her waist and settling on her hips, teasing the skin between her shirt and bottoms. Amelia giggles as it tickles and she reaches to untuck his shirt. Steve kisses her hard and Amelia moans loudly.

'I was going to ask, if there was anything left to eat, but I can see that Rogers' is already having dessert.' Steve pulls back and wipes his mouth slowly and his eyes check that Amelia is covered. 'Tony! I thought you were away.' Tony ignores him and strolls in further, 'you know we eat here, right?' Amelia readjusts her shirt and smiles at him, hopping off the counter. She's not even embarrassed, looking at Tony Stark, she can imagine he has been caught doing far worse. Amelia murmurs, 'we need to stop doing this in the kitchen.'

'Nice tat, Mrs Cap!' Steve growls a little, annoyed at Tony disturbing them and seeing Amelia like that. Amelia goes to the fridge and drops a plate of food in front of Tony, 'there's pie for after,' she advises, as she heads for the door. 'I am off to bed,' she looks poignantly at Steve and disappears. Tony looks delighted as he opens the fridge and skips straight to the pie. Steve watches her leave, not looking back and he wonders where this confidence came from. He sighs loudly, fanning his heated face with his exhale. As Tony settles down on a stool with the remaining pie, he waves a fork around, 'now, Cap. You need to decide, do you care more about what I think and the undoubtable teasing that will follow tonight's events, or do you want to follow that wonderful woman to bed and pronto.' Steve looks at him as if deciding and in the end, he eyes Tony and tries to subtly slip from the room. 'Good decision,' Tony says as he takes a mouthful of pie.

AN: Thanks for reading! Lots going on here, quite a long chapter. Originally I wasn't keen about writing a Christmas scene, so I didn't dwell on dinner etc. But felt like I couldn't not include it. Hopefully Andi has woken the hell up a little bit now! And can appreciate what she is dealing with in Bucky. Amelia is growing in confidence a little bit, hopefully this feels real, we all know it's not an overnight thing. I love Tony stirring things up and bumbling, humble Steve.

The next chapters are super fun and fluffy, everyone is going on a trip! ;) If you aren't about the sweet stuff, sit tight! Until next week X