I was sitting on top of the Hokage Monument - more specifically on top of Nidaime Hokage-sama's head. I hadn't been able to properly function for the past week. I was running on autopilot, though such a word didn't exist back then since this technology wasn't what it is today. I had been training everyday with both my tantō and my mokuton jutsu until I passed out. Then I'd wake up the next day and repeat the entire process.

Over that span of time, I hadn't really come in contact with anyone else as I had decided to train myself deep in the forest where others seldom go. I only came in contact with my family, but it was during the course of a few minutes since I pretty much ate, occasionally showered, and then departed for my training.

I was in the middle of training myself with my tantō when someone appeared in my chakra range. I quickly span around and nearly swung my blade at the man who had ditched me for a week.

My brunette taichō stood there with his hands on his hips. "So, have you had any success with making a tree?"

I silently sheathed my tantō before performing the jutsu that would allow me to create a tree.

Over the previous week, I had gotten better at controlling the chakra needed to make the jutsu work somewhat efficiently. There were some ups and downs, but I had managed to figure out a trick to spare myself some chakra.

I watched as his black, doll-like eyes widened in surprise.

He kept watching the tree grow until it became as tall as all the others. He motioned for me to stop soon after and approached the tree. He gave a small hum while looking it over carefully. The brunette made very careful observations before finally nodding to himself, pausing, and then nodding once more.

I stared at the brunette silently until he seemed ready to talk to me.

"I honestly didn't expect you to progress this far in a week, especially not when you barely seemed to make a tree last time." Tenzō-taichō remained silent for a moment, his hands on his hips as he stared at my work. He soon turned his head towards me and practically beamed. "I'm glad you went beyond my expectations. Since I won't have another mission for a few days, I'll help you get acquainted with the "proper" handsigns. Since you're using your own, your trees appear to be a different species, but I can get you on the right track." The man paused before scratching his cheek nervously. "I mean, if you would prefer it. I don't know if your method would be better with you considering your different jutsus and the fact it's probably genetic."

I waved his concern off. "I was actually hoping to learn the jutsu so I can use trees native to this area. It would be more effective in battle, or at least in my opinion."

The ANBU member gave a simple nod before springing right into my lesson. He showed handsigns, explained necessary chakra amounts, and then gave a demonstration of what that particular jutsu did.

I copied him with my photographic memory and gave none of my usual sass since I desperately needed to get everything I could down before the shitstorm that was bound to happen at the chûnin exam finals. Besides dealing with the snake bastard, I had to give Gaara a nice ass-kicking that may or may not result in his death.

"Alright. That's it for today. Meet me here tomorrow at 09:00 sharp," Tenzō-taichō ordered as he watched me struggle to use my chakra.

"Very well. Have a good night," I replied politely to the man before stumbling my way back to my house. I slipped in and took a quick shower before heading out to a certain flower shop.

"Welcome," Ino-chan chirped upon hearing the bell hanging in front of the door go off.

I gave a small hum in reply, causing the blonde to peak her head out of the aisle she was in.

"I'm on shift for the next two hours," she said, only for me to shake my head.

"Nah, I'm here for a single daffodil," I replied while walking over to the right section.

The girl chuckled before informing me that Sakura had done the same thing earlier that week.

"Ah, is that so? I'll take a white camellia then," I stated while heading over to the new section.

"Camellia?" Ino-chan repeated questioningly.

I gave a simple grunt in approval before my head perked up. "And I'll also take an edelweiss." I then paused before muttering, "Or would a habenaria radiata be better? But what about a jasmine flower? The pansy may be better symbolically, but that really isn't my style."

"What about giving him some lotuses?" She joked.

I glared over my shoulder at her. "Far from the one he loves? Really?"

The Yamanaka snickered at my unamused expression. "Kidding, kidding. Everyone knows you're totally in love with your sensei."

I raised a brow, especially since I hadn't heard that rumor.

Upon seeing my expression, Ino-chan gasped before getting an excited look. She walked over with a shit-eating grin and explained, "Since you always annoy your sensei and get him to hit you, people are speculating that your masochism side is really in love with the guy."

"Eh? Kakashi-sensei's not really my type though," I denied while brushing her off. "His eyes and eyelashes aren't particularly pretty, his lower face is constantly covered so I can't see his smile, and he doesn't seem to have a beauty mark. To top everything off, he put a kunai to my neck once. Can you fucking believe that?! The asshole had the nerve to shove a kunai to my neck and blame it on reflexes!" I released an angered huff through my nose before sagging down a bit. "Besides, he's an asshole when push comes to shove."

"You don't like that?" The blonde questioned with a confused expression.

"He's the asshole type of asshole." I gave an annoyed sigh before thinking, And yet I feel he's good enough to be a main player. It's not fair at all.

"So what about that Rock Lee guy?" The girl inquired.

"He's my senpai," I replied blankly.

"Yeah, but do you feel anything else for him?" The flower-oriented girl pressed.

"Admiration. He's determined enough to see his goal through until the end, which I greatly admire. There are no romantic feelings attached," I explained, my patience growing shorter with each question.

"Hm..." Blue eyes narrowed and tried piercing through my soul, but failed dramatically.

"Look, my trainer for the finals literally has the soulless black eyes of a doll. Your eyes can't effect me," I stated, completely and utterly truthful.

Her lips came out in a pout, clearly disappointed with the results of her failed intimidation. "Do you like anyone?"

I stared blankly down at the camellias before me blankly before snorting. "Nah. I don't think I'll ever find love anyway. I'm too much of an asshole myself. Besides, now that Sado is released, I'm going to be the type of asshole no one likes." I cracked a grin and looked at the girl next to me. "If I do find love, I doubt the relationship will last more than a month. I'm just so disagreeable, after all."

A smirk came to her lips as she stood up and extended out a hand. "I'm willing to bet you'll find love and have a long relationship."

I narrowed my eyes as my gut couldn't give me a definitive answer. I can't tell if she's going to be right or not which definitely sucks. Though considering I have the feeling I'm going to eventually leave the village, I doubt I can actually take part in a lasting relationship. Though, my talk with Hokage-sama broke down halfway through, and I was kicked out with the threat of ANBU supervision so I wouldn't do anything too stupid...

"You can't take it, can you?" Ino-chan teased with that damn grin that said she'd hold that over my head for years.

I huffed before standing up. I grabbed her hand and said, "I bet that you're wrong."

She looked surprised, but couldn't back down. Her expression showed her resolve as her grip on my hand tightened. "Yeah? Well, I bet I'll your second bridesmaid in your wedding."

"I bet you won't!" I objected as my own grip tightened, my eyes narrowing sharply as I began leaning closer to get her to back off.

She leaned back and our foreheads touched while sparks flew between our clashing eyes. "I bet you'll be a father of two!"

"I bet I'll be a father of zero!" I retorted.

"I bet you'll be the mother-figure to your children, and your husband will be the father-figure!" Ino-chan screamed.

"I bet I won't even get married!" I bellowed.

We growled at each other, punches and kicks ready to fly at any second.

"Fuck you," I finally spat while ducking to the side, causing her to stumble forwards. I got my white camellia before wandering off to get an edelweiss. I stood at the register and glared at the kunoichi who glared right back at me as she rung me up. I paid for my flowers and internally grumbled as she took her sweet-ass time to wrap the two flowers individually.

"Here," the girl snapped while shoving the flowers out towards me.

"Thank you," I growled while taking them away. "Have a nice night."

"You too," she spat as I left.

"Bitch," I commented as the door to the shop closed.

That was the primary reason why we spent so little time with each other. We would start bickering about something stupid, but we were both so head-strong that neither would back down. Thus, we fought and separated ourselves on a sour note until we saw each other again, in which case we'd act like friends only for the entire process to start again.

I managed to calm myself down by the time I reached the hospital and was thankful I still had five minutes before visiting hours ended. I made it to Lee-senpai's hospital room and knocked, only to hear no reply. I poked my head in and found he was asleep.

He was snoring away like he was well on his way to recovering. Though... He would never properly recover if what those medical nins was true.

I gave a saddened sigh as I entered the room. I closed the door behind myself before leaving his flowers in a small vase next to Sakura's wilting daffodil. I then sat next to the black-haired boy who I had admired greatly, my fingers digging into the fabric of my shorts.

His face showed no pain that he was surely feeling. He seemed peaceful, but the large casts definitely indicated otherwise.

I lowered my head slightly as tears began to well in my eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry. I came too late to help, and now... I'm sorry for not visiting earlier. I really should have. I'm such a terrible kouhai. Please forgive me..."

The unconscious boy didn't reply.

I bit my lower lip as a few tears escaped. I quickly wiped them away, knowing full-well that my tears wouldn't heal him or make him feel any better. "I... I really want you to know that I'm going to everything possible to beat genius with hard work..." I trailed off before a sharp realization struck me - I was a natural genius.

At the age of six, I managed to discover my kekkei genkai and developed a jutsu based off of it even though I had never been taught such before. My brains were probably linked to my kekkei genkai as well, or at least the ancestors that used it. All of my hard work was probably me just using my genius abilities and not actual hard work.

I felt a tiny piece of myself die and hung my head. "I'm... I'm so sorry... I didn't know... I really didn't..." I felt tears burn my eyes once again before disgust at my own actions ran through my mind. I can't believe this. Lee-senpai doesn't like it when others cry, and yet here I sit crying. How much of an asshole am I?

The door to the room opened, and a woman gave an empathetic smile. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over."

"Right, of course. I'm sorry," I apologized as I stood up. I wiped my eyes furiously as I left the room, ignoring the look of the hospital worker.

I didn't deserve empathy. I had betrayed his trust in me. I was revolting - a piece of garbage. No, I was scum - worse than scum actually. Ah, no. I was probably worse than that still.

I managed to get myself under control and forced on an emotionless mask as I made my way up to the top of the Hokage Monument. I had always liked to think out difficult situations on top of Nidaime Hokage-sama's rocky head, and that occasion was no different.

I sat on the top and stared at the sky that was beginning to turn day into night, the stars slowly revealing their light as the sun dipped behind the horizon. I sat there silently while contemplating all sorts of things. I contemplated my decision to confront Hokage-sama about the Uchiha Clan Massacre and Orochimaru which had eventually ended up with the tightening of my loose reigns, Lee-senpai's life-changing injuries, and my own betrayal of so many people over the years.

As the stars began to twinkle brightly, a certain song began to pop into my head.

I began humming the tune of the song and patting my thighs to keep the rhythm.

Fixer...

I can't sleep until I've erased all of my memories until today.

Ah, it's unbearable, how much I wish for a substitute to live my life for me from tomorrow on.

Let me say that everything is okay, and won't you let me blame it all on you later?

Since everything is meaningless now, won't you let me blame it on you later?

These promises I can't fulfill...

I stood up and unsheathed my tantō. I began to move along to the beat, swinging my blade around to fight a non-existent enemy as I did so.

As I finally overflow from just singular words,

My brain is being taken over.

I can't make any sense.

I can't do anything.

I can't see.

I want to fly.

I want to stop.

I can't avoid it!

I allowed myself to use the hiraishin jutsu to teleport all around the various heads of the Hokage Monument while continuing with my little dance. I performed a few dangerous moves while doing so, for example throwing my tantō into the air and the catching the blade with my teeth as it came back down to slice me. It was all in good fun though.

That's why

Just sink, sink me

Until I can't crawl up anymore.

Until I get tired of it,

Drop me, just drop me

Until I am completely saved!

I chew up the lumps of lies along with the screams blocked from my throat.

With an unpracticed smile, I'm just passing the time as I go along with this pretense of knowing.

I didn't want to turn out like this.

Today, I'm holding onto my sleepy, sleepy ideal of becoming useful

While waiting to be saved!

The first mouth to say "it's fine"

With strength,

Strongly,

Firmly,

Painfully,

Bite your lip!

Oh death, take me, just take me

Without me knowing of the past or future.

Since I hate this,

Break me, just break me.

At this rate it's fine if I become the assailant.

This frustration that cannot be eaten

Produces nothing but unbearable sadness.

Before I vomit out this dull flavor...

No more.

No more.

Just sing the next song!

I mind as well just dance the dance

Before I turn a completely ashen color.

Strike me and let it ring.

Change me, just change me

Until I fall into a deep sleep!

At this rate snatch it, just snatch it,

Exposing all of these lies I've tamed.

Through this feverishly clouded mind of mine,

I've been looking at a false image.

I've been looking straight into a mirror...

I teleported away to my hidden training ground after singing the last song. I decided to keep practicing using the tantō since I had the energy. I know that energy really was just adrenaline, but if I have it, why not use it? Though, in the end, I overworked myself and passed out again.

On the bright side, I would totally beat Tenzō-taichō to the training grounds!