Olivia woke before her husband and son, and crept into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. She sat at the kitchen table and looked at their wedding plans. Plans that once gave her the worst anxiety now were almost completed and filled her with happy butterflies. A light knock at the front door distracted her from her thoughts. Glancing through the peephole, the person at her door looked to be a courier of some sort.
"Can I help you?" She asked, standing slightly behind the door.
"Olivia McKnight?"
"Yes."
"For you."
He handed her a manilla envelope and walked away. Closing the door, she went and sat at the table with a cup of coffee and opened the package.
Dear Olivia,
Im writing to let you know that mom and dad have sold the businesses with our names in the partnerships. As per all contract agreements, if anything were to happen to the other, the other sibling would inherit the share. I figured it would only be fair to give you the money that's rightfully owed to you. Mom, dad and everyone else are all still in the dark about everything. I hope you're happy and doing well. I wish nothing but the best for you big sister and miss you every day. Things around here are certainly different without you. Take care of yourself sis, from your bro.
Wiping away a tear, Olivia took the letter and tossed it into the lit fireplace. She knew the money would be deposited into her account. Her brother would make sure of it. He was her only contact to her old life because he kept her secret account filled with her share of money. They never spoke of anything else. Actually they never spoke. He spent a letter here and there but that was all. She never responded and she never reached out first. Now there would be no reason for her to from him, business was done and finished.
It hurt her everyday that her family would never know Jay and grill him like they did other boyfriends. They wouldn't tease him about having to put up with her high maintenance ass. And Jay would laugh and say she wasn't but deep down he knew, and so did she, that she was. She for sure wasn't as bad as she was when they first met. They would tell him embarrassing stories about her or make fun of her in front of him. They'd never get to welcome him into the family.
And they'd never know James or any of their future kids. The Halstead children would never know of life on the east coast, summers on the beach in campers. But they'd know and love their life in Chicago with the family they had here. Life on the lake at the family cabin. She wanted to give her kids the same kind of love and life she had growing up with her family, and the closeness she had shared with her cousins. Football Sunday and Sunday dinners were going to become a must once they returned home from this trip.
Tiny feet padded across the kitchen followed by the sound of two larger ones, and Olivia knew her two favorite guys were planning a sneak attack to scare her. She sipped her coffee and placed it back on the table with a sly smirk.
"When will you two learn that sneaking up on me has become impossible."
Even with her back to them she knew they were looking at each other, playfully sulking that they had been caught.
"I don't know how you do it, but that second sense is insane. You'd make a fucking great detective." Jay said.
"Yeah, a fucking great one mommy." James repeated.
The two burst out laughing before they could even reprimand their son for his language.
"James, you know you can't say that."
"But you and daddy say it all the time!"
"Daddy and I are grown ups…well most of the time daddy is."
Jay nudged her.
"Yeah, daddy is kinda like a kid."
Olivia laughed out loud again.
"Go brush your teeth…both of you."
James headed toward the bathroom but Jay walked over to her.
"You good?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Just seem a little out of it this morning."
"I'm content. This was a much needed mini vacay."
Jay wrapped his arms around her.
"Maybe we can take another mini vacay…just the two of us…so we can be alone."
"I do have a business to run and a job. You have a city to protect."
"I also got babies I need to start making."
Olivia playfully shoved him away.
"I don't think we have a hard time finding ways to make time for that."
She was off, and Jay knew it, even if she thought she was playing it off well.
"So are we gonna talk about what we did in Vegas?" Jay asked.
He was the first to break the ice about it. They returned home from Vegas a week ago and hadn't seen one another since. Jay showed up at her door after one of his shifts. The silence between them was making him crazy.
"What's there to talk about?"
They were sitting on her couch, awkward tension sitting in between them.
"Olivia, we got…married," he said, whispering the last part. "We need to talk about divorcing or annulling or whatever."
"Is that what you wanna do?"
"Don't you?"
Olivia picked at her fingers. Something Jay noticed that she did when she felt under pressure or unsure.
"Yeah, we probably should. Otherwise you'd have to fill out all that paperwork for the job about insurance and beneficiary stuff."
"Paperwork is the last of my worries. I'm just…I mean…we never even…we don't like each other like that."
The second the words left his lips, he prayed that she believed his lie. He'd serve her the world on a million silver platters if she'd ask him too. And when those words hit her ears, it took everything in her for her not to breakdown into a mess. That would have to wait till he left.
"Yeah, and you're just starting things with Hailey, so. Um do you want me to have someone draw up the papers or do you have someone?"
"Uh, I can."
"Okay, so text when they're ready and I'll sign em. I need to shower, so lock the door on your way out?"
She didn't give him a second to respond before she walked off. She stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for him to leave. After a minute she heard the front door closed and she burst into tears. She didn't know why she was crying. She knew she had no right to be. After all they were best friends who stupidly got married in Vegas.
Jay stood on the front porch, debating if he should just walk back in there and tell her the truth. That he didn't want to sign those papers and maybe they could give the thought of them a fighting chance. He meant it when he asked her to marry him, he meant it when he said he wanted a future with her, for her to be his everything for the rest of his life. She was it. And he knew no matter how hard he tried, no one was gonna top her. He felt it, every time her hand was in his, or her arm wrapped through his, when she kissed his cheek, when they'd lay around resting on another. But when they kissed to seal their marriage, it was like Jay saw everything that they're future would be. How was he supposed to let that go.
Two weeks of barely speaking to each other, and here they were in his apartment, sitting on the couch, staring down at the papers both holding pens. She had to sign them, she knew she did. He was with Hailey and she made him happy. He had just started his relationship with the blonde cop but from what she heard through friends it was going well. Olivia avoided nights at Molly's just so she wouldn't have to see them together. Cut the cord, sign the papers and let Jay go.
"I'll just sign these and head out. I'm sure you have plans with Hailey."
Olivia leaned forward to sign the papers.
"I broke up with her last night. We both agreed it's better to stay friends and partners."
Olivia dropped her pen down.
"Why didn't you tell me? How are you holding up?"
"I can't sign these papers Livi, and I know you don't want to either."
"Jay,' she said with a sigh, 'We can't just be married."
"We can. Look I thought about this okay, and at the end of the day if anything were to happen to me, I want you to be my beneficiary."
"Shouldn't that be Will?"
"I want it to be you."
"Okay so we'll fill out other paperwork for that. Marriage papers are a different ballgame Jay."
"I know, okay, I know. But you'll have better insurance, and you'll never have to worry about anything as a police wife, and god forbid anything happens to me, you'll get my pension."
"Jesus Christ Jay."
"We can hid our rings! Mine in my badge, yours in your scissors, Olivia I am begging you. Please do not ask me to sign those papers. Because right now, the thought of not knowing of what we could be if we give this a shot, I can't shake it."
"So you wanna play house?"
"We practically live like it now! We have dinner together every night. We share a bed, we wake up tangled in each other. We could be in a crowded room and still only see one another. Olivia we don't have a normal friendship!"
"Jay, I …"
Was the room getting smaller? It was, she could feel it. And why was it so hard for her to suddenly catch her breath.
"Olivia, take some deep breaths. You know I'm right. And I promise you, that if we go through with all this, it's gonna work. I know it is because I've never wanted something so much. I want you Livi, you're my endgame."
Olivia picked up the papers and looked at jay. She thought for a second and then tore them in half. Jay smiled widely and leaned forward and kissed her lips.
"We got this baby, we got this."
