Epilogue: This Wonderful World, Please Bless it!

Proofreader: LordVTP


Part 1

"Assistant-kun, it looks like my superiors approved of your request…"

A few weeks after the festival, Chris came over to our house and told me this.

I argued that they owed us a wish for defeating Maouko. I still wanted to keep one of the wishes, in case of an emergency. But now that we had a spare, I wanted to use it.

"Still, to think assistant-kun would come up with such an idea. I guess I should have expected this from you."

She sighed, probably thinking about how difficult it was to convince her superiors to go through with my request.

"So, how will this work? Are they going to give me an Anywhere Door, or something?"

"Well, actually they gave you this."

Chris took something out from her pocket. It was a small handheld device with a big red button.

I stared at it without responding.

"...Is this the best they could do?"

"I-I know it looks kind of silly, but it really works!"

"So if I press this button…"

"Yes, you'll be able to transport between this world and assistant-kun's old world, just like you asked for."

As expected of the promised omnipresent wish, I could even ask for something like this.

"I'll have to make a few adjustments to this thing, but thanks for delivering it to me."

"No problem… Wait, what adjustments are you talking about?"

"For one thing, I want to put a protective case around this button. What if Aqua or Megumin sees this thing? They wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to press it. And how would I be able to carry this around? If I put it in my pocket, I might accidentally press the button myself…"

"Why would you put it in your pocket anyway?! But yes, I do understand the need for the protective case. Go ahead and add whatever modifications you see fit."

Receiving the go ahead, I put the button away, somewhere Megumin and Aqua wouldn't be able to find it.

I'd show it to them later, but it wouldn't be good if they saw it and went off to my world by themselves.

"Alright, since I delivered this to you, I'll go ahead to the next place…"

"Oi, you're not planning to go to Wiz's place and harass Vanir again, are you?"

"T-That devil shouldn't be allowed to wander around the town like this! He needs to be exterminated!"

Now Wiz had to deal with two goddesses storming her place every day.

This was Vanir's fault to begin with, for letting Chris set her sights on him.

As a goddess, she took her responsibilities even more seriously than Aqua. It would make sense that she would want to wipe out Vanir even more than Aqua did.

"Just try not to fall for the love/hate trap, big boss."

"What do you mean?"

"The old cliche of the girl hating the guy at the start, but gradually developing feelings for him."

"M-Me?! Liking that despicable devil?! How could you even suggest such a thing?!"

Oh, no. She's already showing a 'tsun' side.

I heard that Vanir was getting quite close to Luna-san lately. And of course, he already had Wiz around.

...It might be a stretch, but Aqua could also develop a love/hate, cliche dynamic with Vanir.

Not to mention that all those succubi from the shop all worship and revere him, because he was a high ranking devil back in Hell.

Has Vanir become a harem protagonist?

N-Not that I was jealous of him, or anything. I said this before, but I am a one girl kind of guy. I didn't go for the harem ends even when I played eroge. I only chased after the orthodox main-heroine, the ones prominently featured in the cover.

Chris left to bother Vanir, leaving me alone in the house.

Aqua had been spending most of her time in the Axis-cult church lately. A lot of Axis-cultists had migrated to Axel once Aqua revealed her identity. Of course, Aqua didn't miss this chance to bask in their adoration.

Darkness was taking care of noble business as usual. The new migrants from Alcarentia were causing her all sorts of problems.

As for Megumin, she was spending the day with Wolbach again. Those two became really close this past week.

I had promised to meet up with them later, a bit after lunch. Megumin said that she wanted to do something 'exciting' with all three of us.

Again, I'm a man who dedicates himself to one girl. A man who doesn't have the desire to pursue harems.

But if this girl says something like 'I want to do something exciting with all three of us', when referring to her extremely attractive female friend…

I couldn't help but have dirty thoughts.

Part 2

"...Are you both ready?"

Megumin looked at Wolbach and me. We couldn't refuse if she looked at us with those expectant eyes.

"Well, I've never done it with three people before…"

Wolbach admitted, looking a bit nervous. Megumin just shook her head, and said,

"This is a first for all of us, so don't worry about it."

I sighed at her nonchalant attitude. I replied,

"You say that Megumin, but that I don't even know how to start."

"You're a man, aren't you? Take the initiative."

"It's not like I have a ton of experience doing this, even with just you, Megumin, and now you want me to do it with Wolbach as well? I don't want to disappoint Wolbach with my amateurish technique…"

Wolbach smiled reassuringly as I expressed my doubts.

"Megumin told me that you're actually pretty skilled. Don't fret. I'm actually excited to see what you can do."

I gulped. She had such big expectations of me. I couldn't let her down.

"OK, Kazuma. Whenever you're ready."

"Alright. Then let me get warmed up. And stop bouncing around so much. I know you're excited, but I can't get into it if Megumin keeps distracting me. Just sit down."

Megumin nodded and obediently knelt down on her knees, waiting for me. Wolbach did the same.

I looked at the two girls on their knees. They looked really excited to see me in action.

"Megumin, can you help me out? Just grab it."

"I understand. Uwaa… I noticed this before, but I can barely wrap my hands around it. The shaft is really thick."

Grabbing the shaft of my new magic staff, Megumin handed it off to me.

After giving me my staff, she knelt down on the picnic blanket again, besides Wolbach. They were watching me on the picnic blanket while I started the chant.

Then, I raised my staff high and charged up my mana.

"Explosion!"

I made the surroundings shake as a fiery explosion washed over the surrounding flat grasslands.

"Not bad, Kazuma. I'd give it a score of 69. You're getting better these days. You're not bad for a rookie."

Megumin praised me while admiring the flumes of smoke and fire that enveloped the ruined surroundings.

Wolbach looked appraisingly at my work.

"I see. You are indeed skilled. I'll give you a higher score considering that you just started last week. I'll give you an 86."

"You have to be strict with him otherwise he'll never learn. Don't let our praises get to your head, Kazuma. Keep practicing."

"Yeah, yeah…"

When I met up with Megumin and Wolbach, I was eager to know what this 'exciting event' she had planned for us was.

"Let's have a three-way… An explosion three-way!"

Megumin wanted to go on an explosion picnic with the three of us.

After my explosion, I watched them take their turns casting their own explosions. The grasslands were now scorched black.

...This wasn't what I expected. Well, as a faithful man, it wasn't like I was looking forward to doing naughty things with both Megumin and Wolbach. Not at all.

Megumin and I were both depleted, but Wolbach could still move around. She helped us lay down on the blankets.

"Do you two want any food?"

"Will Wolbach feed us? Then I want a sandwich."

"I just want some juice to drink, please."

"...I didn't say that I would feed you two. Wait, is that why you brought me?!"

Wolbach finally caught on to Megumin's true motives.

Megumin and I have been casting our explosions together this past week.

But as we both suffered mana exhaustion after an explosion, we usually ended up needing to use a high grade manatite crystal just to be able to move afterwards.

It was a waste of resources to keep doing this everyday. Megumin considered this and asked Wolbach, who had a deeper mana pool than the both of us, to come along in this 'explosion three-way'.

As for the staff, I bought it a few days ago. If Megumin was going to train me in explosion magic, I might as well have the right equipment for it, or so she claimed.

Megumin wanted me to get a similar design to hers. The only difference was that my staff was thicker around the shaft, because it was designed for a man to hold. Megumin sometimes had trouble holding it.

"That was fun. Let's do it again, all three of us."

Megumin smiled brilliantly.

This whole arrangement just seemed like a hassle, but, again, there was no way we could resist her sincere smile.

Part 3

After we had Wolbach feed us, we had her Teleport us back home.

"Wahh?! Oh, it's just you guys. You scared me…"

Aqua was already back home, relaxing on the couch. She was drinking some wine and almost spilled in on the couch when we startled her with our sudden appearance.

"Even after casting Explosion and Teleport, you can still move. Tch… I'm jealous."

Megumin said as she narrowed her eyes at Wolbach.

"I-It's only because I'm a goddess. Don't feel bad about it…"

"Hah? A goddess? Please don't call yourself that so casually! You're just a measly dark goddess, alright?! And not even a fallen goddess, either! You were born as a stinky, creepy little dark goddess, OK?!"

"Oi, knock it off."

"Ow!"

I whacked Aqua on the head as she got carried away in demeaning Wolbach.

"You don't have the right to berate me! Don't think I've forgiven you for backing Eris during the pageant, Kazuma! I'm still holding a grudge for that! It's your fault I lost!"

She would have won if she didn't lose her marbles at the end. That was entirely her fault.

"Aqua shouldn't be too upset. Your cult gained a lot of attention after your performance."

Megumin said, while sitting next to Aqua and eating some of the snacks Aqua had been enjoying. We just had a picnic and she was still eagerly munching on rice crackers.

"I guess Megumin is right. I'll just have to keep working hard to spread my religion. Especially when there's more competition now…"

She was probably referring to Regina.

While Regina wasn't growing followers in the traditional means, she was still getting her name out there in the way of her Regina dolls.

She had been mass producing and selling them in Wiz's store. I didn't know where she got the money to do this, and when I asked her, she just smiled coyly and told me that she had an anonymous investor.

All the money went to the rebuilding of Noise, while also funding her efforts to gain more followers.

"By the way, Kazuma, what's this thing I found in your room?"

Aqua said, as she held up a device with a big red button.

She found it already?!

"D-Don't touch that, you idiot! Why were you in my room anyway?!"

"I was looking to see if you were hiding expensive alcohol from the rest of us."

"You're the only one here who does that."

While we were arguing, Megumin had drawn closer and was now staring intently at the red button.

"Kazuma, as a Crimson Demon, there's no way I can resist pressing that big, red button."

"Please resist it! I'll let you two press this later when Darkness comes back! But until then, don't touch it!"

I was planning to reveal that I was from another world once everyone had gathered. After that, I wanted to have them come with me to visit Japan.

...Maybe even introduce them to my family.

I wondered how my family would react if they saw me returning from the dead.

Well, considering how they laughed at the ridiculous way I died, maybe they deserved to have me shock them with my return.

There was still some time until Darkness returned. I made Megumin and Aqua promise not to press the button until later on at night. Just to be sure, I asked Wolbach to stay and keep an eye on them, and also to keep the button on her person. I put it in a box to make sure she wouldn't accidentally press it herself.

I would stay and guard Megumin and Aqua myself, but I had some business in the dungeon to attend to.

The dungeon became a side gig of mine. I didn't really need any more money, but if there was profit to be made on a venture I started, I might as well oversee its operations.

The main source of income came from the mana crystals in the core room, which could be sold for a hefty price. Aside from my own personal profit, this dungeon also benefited the adventurers of this town. My dungeon not only provided them with a place they could grind exp in, they could also gather the drops from my monster spawns and make a profit.

I left the house and headed over to the dungeon. The streets were busy as always, especially in this mid-afternoon time. I waded through the crowd and headed to my dungeon.

Kazuma's dungeon was designed with the newbie adventurer in mind, but experienced adventurers could also try their luck in the lower floors. The bravest among them could even challenge an Arch-Duke of Hell who possessed an all-seeing eye, in the final boss room.

The first floor contained a recreational area, which also functioned as a central hub for the dungeoneers.

Installed in this area were informational resources, like maps and brochures, which listed the monsters, loot and mineable ores one could find in the dungeon.

There was even a cafeteria and a hot springs bath on this floor. There were some unpleasant rumors floating around about the hot springs bath, the female hot springs bath, to be precise. The rumors claimed that the baths were haunted.

The women who bathed there often felt an eerie sensation of being watched and gawked at. The owner of Kazuma's dungeon dismisses these baseless rumors, and instructs the women to keep bathing like usual.

Beyond the first floor were the newbie floors. On these floors, one would encounter the typical and cliche monsters prevalent in dungeons. Slimes and goblins were the apex predators of these floors. Those who struggled in these floors should consider a career change.

Monsters dropped Eris coins, as well as their own material that one could sell at the adventurers guild. The monsters carried coins as a feature of the dungeon. The coins were distributed to them by the dungeon's automated golem workers. Monsters wouldn't generally have human currency on their person. That's weird.

Between each floor was a safe zone where monsters were told not to enter. Adventurers could rest here and gather their bearings. There were priests stationed on this floor who could heal injuries, and they worked for a small fee.

After one progressed through the intermediate floors, the floors beyond, which could be considered of advanced difficulty due to the dangers they presented, were guarded by the stalwart guardian of the mid floors, the mid boss, Beldia…

"Ah, boss! You're here!"

I arrived in the mid-boss room. There weren't any challengers at this time, so Beldia and his assistant, Maouko, were simply having tea and snacks.

Beldia tried to get off from his chair, but his tiny little legs only kicked in the air as he tried to jump off. Maouko rolled her eyes and stood from her seat, helping her superior reach the floor.

A tiny suit of armor fit for a child waddled towards me.

After the battle with Aesir, Beldia had returned from Hell in the form of a little boy.

Part 4

Shota Beldia was the result of the damage Beldia incurred during the Aesir fight.

Since he was still recovering, I could only summon him from Hell in this incomplete form.

At first, he was understandably furious about his appearance, but lately it seemed as if he was growing used to his new form.

Perhaps this was due to the diligent work of his new assistant.

Maouko, the daughter of the former devil king.

I felt sorry for her after hearing her tragic backstory. She was a product of her environment and the harassment of the true villains in this world, the Axis-cult and the Crimson Demon clan.

Thus, I felt that she was worthy of a second chance, a shot at rehabilitation.

And so, I asked that instead of having her be imprisoned in the capital, that she be brought to my dungeon instead.

I realize that I merely moved her from one 'dungeon' to another, but the Kazuma dungeon had amenities that a prison at the capital couldn't provide. This seemed to be agreeable enough of an alternative as Maouko immediately took my offer when I presented it.

"Oi, it's time for your vitamins, brat."

"Okies~!"

Maouko called out to shota Beldia and gave him the 'vitamins' he was supposed to take in order to recover his old form. The vitamins were made from the extract of amber berries, which were infused inside a gummy-like substance. Rich in magical energy, it would help speed up Beldia's recovery.

"So, how are things?"

I asked Maouko, who didn't hesitate to give me her default face ever since she got here, pouting lips and an irritated glare.

"I guess it's way better than the capital's prison. And the baths are nice. But sometimes it feels like I'm being watched when I go there…"

"It's just your imagination. There are no perverted ghosts in this dungeon."

"Kazuma-san, I saw a couple on floor 12 making out. It was hot. Wanna watch?"

Anna-chan came out through the floor and announced this news to me.

I ignored her. She let out an annoyed 'tch!' before phasing down through the ground again, no doubt going back to floor 12 to resume her voyeuristic activities.

"Can I have the daily report, Maouko?"

Maouko nodded and took a notepad from the table, where she and Beldia had been enjoying some afternoon tea.

"There was only one party today who was able to make it to the mid boss room. As ordered, I casted my illusions to make this shota seem like he's back in full-power. I actually made him scarier than he was originally. As intended, the party was frightened by my illusion and retreated after wetting themselves."

"Good job, Maouko. Although maybe next time, don't make the illusions so terrifying that people would wet themselves…"

I asked Maouko to conjure these illusions to hide the fact that the dungeon's mid boss had lost most of his powers. This might be considered unfair to the adventurers, but I'd argue that if they couldn't tell what was real and what was an illusion, they didn't deserve to go past this floor.

After all, I instructed Maouko not to make the illusions too complex. This was a form of training, in a way.

"In any case, you're doing a good job here, Maouko. Maybe I should offer you a permanent position as a dungeon boss. Although having a former Devil King be a dungeon boss might be overkill."

"...You say that, but don't you have an Arch-Duke of Hell as your final boss, and a former Devil King general as your mid-boss? If it weren't for the weaker floors below, I'd say that this would be the most dangerous dungeon in the country, if not the world. The fact that you can call it a beginner dungeon is miraculous."

That's because Vanir and Beldia had no intention to kill the challengers.

The worst they'd get were some bruises, and the risk of being pranked by Vanir.

As such, even though this dungeon housed these powerful individuals, the rank was truly that of a beginner dungeon where anyone could come and raise their levels.

Even normal citizens were encouraged to come here and gain a few levels to learn some basic skills for self-defense. There were some who weren't even adventurers, but came here to gather monster materials to use for their own needs, or to sell for some extra pocket money.

Along with the Kazu-mall, the Kazuma dungeon, and the manatite ore vein I helped discover along with the delinquent squad, these businesses of mine helped Axel's economy and tourism skyrocket. It also helped that the king, as he hinted before, had sought to invest in development projects for Axel, after seeing its potential for growth.

"Well, it seems like everything is alright here. Before I go, is there anything you need in terms of supplies, Maouko? I can ship whatever you need to your room."

I assigned Maouko a room on this floor, right beside Beldia's. I gave her basic furniture, but I was wondering if she needed anything else aside from the necessities.

Maouko blinked after I asked my question.

"Why are you so nice to me? I'm supposed to be your prisoner, you know? In fact, I thought that you'd make me your concubine after you asked the king if you could bring me to your 'personal dungeon'..."

"D-Did I really sound that perverted when I made my request? Anyway, you're here for rehabilitation. The first step to correcting someone's flawed behavior is to show them an example of how they should act. That means that we should treat you with some decency even if you're a prisoner. If we treat you kindly, maybe you'll learn how to act in the same way once we let you out of here."

"...You'll let me out?"

"You'll be on parole, but yeah, I'm planning on letting you out if you show good behavior."

"That's… an unusual method of correction."

Maouko was confused, probably because she was used to the brutal methods of imprisonment in this world with medieval values.

To be fair, the method I was applying here was much more lenient than the justice system I was familiar with back in Japan, but I felt that this was the best way to deal with Maouko.

I truly believed that she was a product of her dysfunctional home environment. Even if you took that away, just being the daughter of a being that was meant to embody all the evils of the world, most certainly assured that she would end up following in her father's footsteps.

"Hmph. Boss is only kind to Maouko because she's a cute girl. You had no remorse for beating me up back then, and even played 'soccer' with my head, didn't you? Oi, I was a villain back then like she was, but why didn't you try to rehabilitate me, huh?! If I was a cute redhead like Maouko, I bet you'd be all nice and gentlemanly toward me, too!"

Shota Beldia stomped his foot in indignation as he made all kinds of accusations against me.

"If you need anything just tell me. And make sure Beldia takes his vitamins everyday."

"Oi, don't ignore me, you bastard! What's with the double standards, huh?!"

I ignored Beldia's high-pitched, boyish screams as I quickly made my way out.

Part 5

As I ascended the floors to return to the outside world, I came upon a party consisting of Dust, Yunyun and her schoolmates, Arue, Funifura and Dodonko.

Some of the Crimson Demon villagers, who came to aid the town during the war, decided to stay in Axel as a vacation of sorts. There weren't a lot of attractions here, but some of them had never stepped foot outside the village until they were recruited for the war. Even a small town like Axel, lack of amusements aside, seemed attractive in their perspective.

They were in the middle of dividing the monster drops among themselves when I came in.

"Oh, look, it's the dungeon master himself. Ne, Kazuma, do you think you can order your monsters to go easy on us a little? They aren't that tough, but I'd rather take it easy if I can."

Dust said, as he lazily leaned against his spear. After he showed off his skills during the war in front of everyone, he didn't bother pretending to be a newbie adventurer anymore.

"Of course I can't do that. And your party is stacked, anyway. Can you guys even gain levels when there's so many capable people in your party?"

I asked, as I looked over at their personnel, four Crimson Demons and one Dragon Knight. With their personnel, they could easily make it to the mid boss room, which was worrying, because at least one of the Crimson Demon girls had a chance to identify and expose Maouko's illusions.

It was Arue who responded to my question.

"We're not here to gain levels. We wanted an efficient way to make money, and we heard your dungeon was the right place for that."

She took off her backpack and showed me her share of the monster loot.

"What do you guys need the money for?"

"We're planning to move in here, to this town, so we're raising the money for living expenses."

This was the first time I heard of this. I looked to Funifura and Dodonko for an explanation.

"Um… Well, to be honest, we wanted to live in the capital, but Arue told us just how much we'd have to spend on expenses every month just to get by…"

"So rather than trying our luck there, we decided to start here."

They had been talking about moving out of their village ever since they had a taste of the big city life, but I didn't know that they were serious about it until now.

I could always just give them some money, seeing as they were good friends of Megumin, and they were my acquaintances and all, but I didn't want to diminish their ambition and initiative.

"You must be happy to have your friends moving in, Yunyun."

Yunyun blushed as her eyes swam around, avoiding the gazes of her friends.

"F-Friends… Moving in… We can spend even more time playing and socializing… Maybe we can even have girls night outs… Uwaaa…"

"Oi, don't get her excited, Kazuma."

Dust said, as he snapped his fingers in front of Yunyun, who was in a daze.

I went ahead and let them go on with their work. I told them about a shortcut route that would let them circumvent the mid boss area. They weren't here to challenge tough opponents, anyway, and more importantly, I didn't want that powerful party to come in and expose Beldia while he was weak.

After I left Dust's group alone, Anna-chan flew in beside me, apparently having had her fill spying on that couple, if that satisfied face was anything to go by.

"Are you actually doing your work, Anna-chan?"

"Of course I am! Kazuma-san left me in charge of this dungeon while he's away, to command the golem workers, and I'm doing my job to the utmost of my abilities!"

"And that includes spying on couples, huh?"

"Hey, if they choose to do those things at a public place, then they're just asking to get caught, aren't they?"

I couldn't really argue with that logic, so I dropped the matter.

Besides, I shouldn't really be preaching about respecting people's privacy when I let the phantoms spy on the women in the hot springs.

"Is there anything to report aside from the erotic play you spied on today, Anna-chan?"

"The special monster Kazuma-san wanted to acquire is arriving today. The dungeon employment agency will send it over today. Hey, is it really such a good idea bringing that here? We already have Beldia-san and Vanir-san as our mid and final bosses. Is bringing a Mystic Spider of all things really such a good idea?"

Mystic Spiders, aside from their weakness against physical attacks, were powerful monsters who could deploy psionic and magical attacks. They were even capable of mind control.

And this wasn't just any ordinary Mystic Spider. This was the same one I encountered in the manatite mines, along with Aqua and the delinquent corps. Yes, it was that BL obsessed Mystic Spider who made the delinquents molest me.

Aqua smushed it to a green paste, and it was sent to Hell for its afterlife.

When I found out that it went to Hell, I felt a bit sorry for it. It was just defending its home, even if it went a bit too far with its BL tendencies. So, being the nice guy I was, and seeing that I was already using the dungeon to house former villains like Vanir, Beldia, and Maouko, I offered to employ it as a dungeon monster.

I haven't decided where I would place it within the dungeon. Maybe I would have it guard a trap floor and beat up the careless adventurers who entered it?

In response to Anna-chan's concerns, I only shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm sure it'll work out."

"This dungeon will become very problematic if you keep adding dangerous beings in here. Please be careful."

Anna-chan was usually carefree and didn't care about anything as long as she was having fun, but she was showing a serious face at this moment.

"Alright, I'll be careful. I wouldn't want the kingdom to think that I'm raising a personal army of dangerous monsters, or anything. I'm not some Overlord."

The fact that a mere human had become a dungeon master was already alarming for some. Usually only Liches and very powerful wizards were capable of such a feat.

"T-That was an oddly specific example. Anyway, I'll go back to peeping… I mean, doing my work now! Bye-Bye~!"

She instantly forgot about her worries while talking about her favorite pastime.

Well, maybe if she spends enough time peeping today, she won't bother me tonight when Megumin comes over for our new nightly routine, I thought.

Part 6

I headed home after finishing my business at the dungeon. When I arrived, Darkness was already home, relaxing on the couch.

Or, at least she was trying to relax, but Aqua was pestering her.

"I demand funding from the town! More and more of my lovely darlings are migrating, which means the local nobles, your family, needs to create housing for them, as well as help them acclimate into the town!"

"Ugh… Isn't Aqua a noble now as well? Why can't you figure something out. In the first place, why did you even bring your followers here?"

"Hah?! I can bring them wherever I want!"

Darkness didn't know what to do at first after finding out that two of her close companions were actually goddesses. However, she soon got over the awkwardness and started treating them like normal again. The process was much easier with Aqua, since Aqua didn't have a lot of goddess-like traits anyway.

"Kazuma, for some reason, I feel like you're thinking something rude about me."

Aqua, who was only observant when it inconveniences me, picked up on what I was thinking.

Darkness took this chance to change the subject,

"Chris told me that you had something to tell us, Kazuma. I headed home early just for you. I hope this is important."

There was a doubtful tone in Darkness's voice, as if she was expecting me to waste everyone's time just to say something stupid.

"I'll tell you guys what this is about once Megumin gets here. Where is she anyway?"

"She'll be here in a bit. She was with Wolbach earlier. But really, what's this about, Kazuma?"

Aqua asked, as she sat down next to Darkness on the couch, completely forgetting about what she had been pestering Darkness about just seconds ago.

"...Well, Aqua already knows about it, but I'm going to tell Megumin and Darkness about my secret."

Aqua's eyes lit up in recognition.

"So you'll finally tell them about the time you started going 'fap, fap, fap' in the stables while we slept together?!"

"No, not that! And it's hardly a secret because you keep reminding anyone, anyway! Don't tell me that Aqua actually forgot?!"

"Forgot about what?"

She had a stupid expression on her face as she titled her head.

"About how I'm actually from another world!"

"...Kazuma's from another world?"

"Ack!"

Megumin came in and said this after I accidentally let the secret out, due to my frustration in dealing with Aqua.

"What's Kazuma on about now? So you really did gather us here just to say something stupid, huh?"

Darkness said, while sighing as she reclined on her couch. She was complaining, but she didn't seem to mind the fact that I pulled her away from work.

"No, it's true! Hey, Wolbach, come over here and bring the box!"

Wolbach was a step behind Megumin as they both entered the living room.

Wolbach handed me the box, which contained the world hopping device. She placed it carefully in my hands.

"Ohhh! It's that button!"

"Is it finally time to press it?!"

Megumin and Aqua recognized the button from earlier and swarmed me as I held it in my hand.

"You can press it in a bit! Just let me explain what it does!"

"But that kills the fun out of it. I said this before, but as a Crimson Demon, there's no way I can resist such a tempting button!"

I held the button out of reach from Aqua and Megumin.

"Wait! Ugh, I had a whole speech planned, but I guess I'll have to rush it! I'm not pranking you guys, I really am from another world! Aqua, tell these guys that I'm telling the truth!"

Aqua only sneered as I begged her to confirm my story.

"You didn't bother to do the same back when I was telling everyone I was a goddess. In fact, you even called me things like 'wannabe goddess' and 'fake goddess'. Why should I help you now?"

This bitch…!

Darkness sighed again as she stood from the couch.

"I think Megumin is becoming too much of an influence on you, Kazuma. Here, give me that toy before anyone gets hurt…"

"It's not a toy! Oiiii!"

"Fufu… So the setting is like that, huh? Kazuma is a hero from another world, and I am his Arch-Wizard lover who commands the deadliest of the black magics. I like your character setting, Kazuma! Let's roleplay this later!"

"It's not a roleplay scenario! I really am from another world! Ah, whoops!"

With everyone grabbing at me, and Darkness trying to pull the button from my hand, I accidentally pressed it.

"Wahhh?!" x 4.

"Eh? Everyone…?!"

Wolbach called out to us in vain as bright light emerged from the button.

The sensation and effect was similar to a normal Teleport spell, but the feeling of transfer was even more pronounced this time. I felt my stomach lurch as we were pulled apart from one dimension of reality to another.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the familiar sight of my hometown's shopping district.

"This is… This is Japan."

Unexpectedly, I was overcome with emotion.

I had gotten used to my life in another world. Over time, I slowly began to forget about the life I left behind.

And yet, here I was, in the town I grew up in.

"...Eh? Where is this place? Did you teleport us somewhere, Kazuma? And why are people staring at us?"

Darkness said, as she looked around. The townsfolk were already giving us weird looks, because of the way we were dressed. And I guess it wasn't everyday when beautiful girls like Aqua, Megumin and Darkness showed up in a small town like this.

Darkness looked like a caucasian foreigner, and Aqua's naturally blue hair and eyes attracted attention by itself. Megumin had black hair like a Japanese, but the similarities ended there. Even without her red eyes, her facial features were more like someone of European descent than Asian.

They certainly didn't fit in with the locals at all.

"Cosplay event here! Those who are gathering for the anime convention, please gather here!"

In order to lessen the suspicious stares we were getting, I loudly announced this. It was enough to make most of the onlookers go back to what they were doing.

After this, I made sure to put my Vanir-style mask on. Someone, like one of my old neighbors, might recognize me and have a heart attack after seeing the dead walking among the living.

I was fine with my parents, who laughed at me after they found out how I died, seeing me and subsequently suffering cardiac arrest from the shock of the experience, but I didn't want to involve innocents.

Aqua grabbed my collar and shook me around.

"Kazuma, you brought us to Japan?! Don't tell me you used one of our wishes! I thought we were going to use that to help me spread my religion to the rest of the world?!"

"And when did I ever agree to such a thing! I was going to use my wish to go back to Japan, anyway. This way, we can freely go to Japan and the other world without compromising!"

I said, and then pushed Aqua away, who was clinging on to me.

"Japan… This is your home country right? You talked about it a lot before. You have weird holidays like 'Valentine's day' and 'Christmas here'."

Megumin said, as she looked around her surroundings.

Since I lived in a rural area, the structures and buildings didn't compare to modern, big cities like Tokyo. It would be hard for them to believe that this was another world.

"Anyway, let's move on. We're getting a lot of weird stares."

I urged them to move on as these girls were quickly becoming the center of attention.

"Fuu… I don't blame them for being transfixed by my beauty, since I'm a goddess after all, but they shouldn't stare so much. It's rude."

Aqua said, while smiling and waving to the curious onlookers.

Part 7

We transported to my hometown around mid afternoon. Since my parents still had work, and my little brother usually had clubs after school, I led the girls around and showed them some places of interest around town.

The town was still the same as always, which was a relief. I was hesitant to return since I knew that there was a variance in the way time flowed between the two dimensions.

Without the special feature of this artifact provided by the gods, I would have arrived in Japan only after thirty years have elapsed.

Thankfully, Eris's superiors took this into account. The artifact they gave me ignores the inconsistency in timelines, syncing them together.

As a result, only a year and a half has passed since I left. Time wasn't linear, after all, but I was still humbled by the implications. I guess when Aqua mentioned that her superiors could grant any kind of wish, even ones that could ignore the laws of physics, she wasn't exaggerating.

The first place of interest I led the girls to was the local arcade. The arcade was situated in the town's sole commercial district, sandwiched between an electronics shop that focused on repairing goods rather than actually selling them, and a new-ish, dry-cleaning store owned by an old, widowed lady with a sharp glare.

I made myself seem as inconsequential as possible, which wasn't too hard since everyone's gazes were focused on the beautiful girls seemingly wearing cosplay, rather than the random dude wearing a weird mask.

I didn't have any money on me, at least, not any currency that would be recognized in this world. But I knew that the arcade owner was weak to cute girls, and would often give them free tokens to use on the machines if they asked nicely. Knowing this, I sent the girls to grab us some free tokens.

"Do these machines function like the game consoles in our home?"

Darkness asked, as she looked around at the flashing lights from the machines.

"Kind of. Why don't you give this one a try?"

Since we had a limited amount of tokens, I led them to a game that we all could play.

It was a dancing rhythm game that was massively popular back in the mid 2000s. It still had a large fanbase now, at least, that was the case last time I went here.

There were enough platforms for the four of us. I had Dancing skills, and Aqua was naturally talented at these kinds of things. I was worried about Megumin and Darkness's performance, though. Well, Megumin might be fine. I was actually only worried about Darkness.

"T-This is difficult…!"

Darkness said, as her feet got tangled up. She tripped again and again as she tried to follow the directions flashing on the screen.

"What are you talking about? This is easy!"

Aqua wasn't even looking at the steps on the screen anymore. She had already memorized the pattern.

"Ai ai ai ai~! I'm your little butterfly! Green, black and blue make the colors in the sky~!"

This nostalgic song played as we all tried our best to raise our collective scores.

Aqua and I were practically carrying our group. Megumin was doing her best to limit her mistakes, so she wouldn't drag us down. And, as expected, Darkness struggled the entire time.

"Please… No more…!"

A sweaty Darkness fanned herself as we finished only our third round of dancing.

"Geez, you're such a lightweight. What's all that muscle training for?"

Aqua complained, even though she was sweating quite a bit as well.

"Don't give her a hard time, Aqua. It must be exhausting to keep getting up after tripping on yourself over and over."

"Megumin, you're not making me feel any better!"

I took the tickets that were printed out of the machine. Since Aqua and I performed well, we won a good portion of tickets. It was probably enough for a decent prize if we exchanged them.

"Alright, now it's time to collect the fruits of our labor…"

I led the girls to the clerk in charge of the prizes. He was a bored teenager, a newer hire, probably, since I didn't recognize him.

"Hmm… With this many tickets, you can have your choice of a medium-sized stuffed toy."

He took his key and opened the middle shelf, displaying an array of plushies.

"Ne, isn't that Pekachu?! That famous Pekachu?!"

Aside from me, Aqua was the one with the most knowledge about Japan. She recognized the iconic mascot character instantly.

"...What's with that ugly thing? It's hideous. It's nothing like my cute Chomusuke."

Megumin was appalled by the unflattering design of this rat character.

Pekachu was a Virus-type Pokeymans whose main ability was to spread viruses to its foes. The virus was particularly nasty since there was no known cure. The main symptoms of the virus were coughing, fever and difficulty in breathing.

"I don't know why, but high school girls find it endearing because it has a gross design. I think the term is 'creepy but cute'. Don't ask me why, I don't really get it myself."

"Well, I want it! Pekachu is popular so I want it!"

Aqua did strike as the type to want things just because it was popular or mainstream.

"This will be our first souvenir from Kazuma's country, right? I don't think I want to get such a weird thing…"

"Darkness didn't really do anything, so you don't get to talk! Plus, most of these tickets were earned by my performance, so it's my choice!"

We couldn't really argue with Aqua since she did actually accumulate the most points by far. I gave the clerk the tickets and he handed the Pekachu stuffed toy to Aqua.

"Yay~! Peka… chuuuu~!"

Aqua happily squeezed that abomination of a stuffed toy into her chest.

Well, as long as she's happy, I guess.

Part 8

We continued the tour for interesting places in order to kill some more time before my family got home. I showed them the park, some restaurants and the town hall. There weren't a lot of interesting places in this small town, and I soon ran out of places to show them.

Still, they seemed to enjoy the tour of my hometown. During that time, I tried to convince them that I really was from another world.

"Well, I don't see why Kazuma would have to lie about this. It seems kind of extravagant for a prank…"

"I don't know, Megumin. Can we really trust Kazuma?"

"I sort of need to trust him since we're lovers now, so I guess I'm kind of biased."

Megumin was more willing to believe me, but Darkness was as skeptical as ever.

"Hai, hai. I just need to get your beloved Chris to confirm my story, right? No problem."

"Well… If it's her, I guess I can believe it."

As expected, that was the only way to convince Darkness. Maybe I should have just done this earlier.

The trip was not in vain, however. I really did want to meet my parents again, and introduce them to my party.

"Hmph. Since Kazuma let me have this Pekachu doll, I guess I'll help you out, just this once. Darkness, Kazuma really is from another world. Why do you think a goddess like me is hanging around with him?"

"...Because you have nothing else to do, so you snuck out of heaven to play around?"

"No! And that's something your Eris does all the time! I was dragged here, forcibly and without my consent, if I may add, by this petty bastard! And the only way for me to return home was if I helped him defeat the Devil King!"

Megumin seemed confused by Aqua's statement.

"But we already defeated him. Why didn't Aqua go back?"

Aqua halted in her steps and glanced around in a panic. A blush started to form on her cheeks.

"Y-You know why! I… Obviously I wanted to stay with you guys, OK?!"

C-Cute…

I can't believe I'm saying this about Aqua, but that was honestly, ridiculously cute.

I quickly turned around to hide my reaction. As if I'd let her see me like this.

"Ugh… Why are you looking at me like that, Megumin! And Darkness, too! Stop it!"

"Well, I rarely see this side of Aqua, so I can't help but stare. Right, Megumin?"

"Yeah. You should show this girly side of yours more often, Aqua. Hey, Kazuma, come look. Even her ears are red and she's covering her face with the Pekachu doll."

I want to look. I really want to look, but I refuse to see Aqua as a girl!

"...Anyway, my house is right here, so follow me."

After I said this, the girls froze.

"Eh? Kazuma's house? D-Does that mean we'll be meeting your family?!"

Darkness said, in a complete panic.

"Hah? Oh, I guess I didn't mention it. Well, since we're here now, I figured it was a good time."

"I always thought that Kazuma was disowned by his family because he was such a failure, and that's why you left your country. I didn't think that you'd want to see them…"

"Oi, since when was that ever my backstory?! I already told you that I'm a reincarnated hero from another world, right?!"

"You do have to admit that Darkness's theory was much more believable. Ah, but I do think that your new backstory is cool, Kazuma!"

"Why are you making it seem like I'm telling you some kind of chuuni, make-believe story?! You little…!"

As we were already outside my house, we must have caused quite the commotion. The front door to the nostalgic home I was raised in opened, and a middle aged woman in a business suit came out.

"Excuse me, please mind your voices. We're trying to have dinner and… Eh? Um, who are you?"

My mother came out and stared in confusion at the strangely dressed people idling on her front yard.

I stared at her for a long time. It's only been a year and a half, but she already looked older than when I last saw her. The laugh lines on her cheeks were more prominent, a few grey hairs could be seen from the roots, where she usually parted her hair.

I didn't know what to do after coming this far. This was my mother, the woman who gave birth to me. Aqua told me that my parents couldn't help but laugh at first after hearing about my absurd cause of death, but she did say that they mourned immediately after.

Before I died, I kept disappointing my parents by never living up to their expectations. They had to put up with me as I became a NEET who stayed home all day and did nothing but play games.

And then I died, leaving them behind while I went ahead and made a name for myself in another world.

No matter how you looked at it, I was a selfish son.

I reached up to my mask, and finally pulled it down.

"Mother… I'm home."

"..."

She stared at me for a moment.

And then fainted.

"W-Why did she suddenly faint?!"

Darkness panicked as she went over to check on my mother.

I couldn't exactly blame her for doing this. She did just see her supposedly dead son.

"Aqua, maybe you should go and heal her?"

"Sure, but I don't think there's any damage…"

Megumin and Aqua joined Darkness, and they all started administering to my fainted mother.

It was kind of a surreal sight, seeing my party fuss over my mother like this.

"Kazuma, what are you doing there? You're her son! You should have been the first one to help!"

"Oh, ah, right…"

I couldn't react in time as I was still in a daze after seeing my mother after such a long time.

"Huh? Where am I…? I could have sworn that I saw Kazuma… Ehh?! Ugh…"

She fainted again after I drew close and showed my face.

"Actually, maybe you should stay back, Kazuma."

Megumin held her hand out when I tried to come closer.

Which one is it? Should I stay or should I go?

We decided to bring my mother back to the house instead of treating her in the front yard.

"You can put her over there."

I pointed to the couch. The living room arrangements were the same as always, except I couldn't help but notice that there was a big picture of me now prominently displayed on a shrine. It was surrounded by flowers and offerings.

I shuddered after looking at this morbid sight. It was starting to hit home to me that I was considered dead in this world. I might as well have been a ghost haunting my family after I returned like this.

Maybe I should start treating Anna-chan better now, I thought, after getting a glimpse of what a ghost must feel like on a daily basis.

"Honey, did you come back from dealing with those salesmen, or whoever they were? Eh? W-What are you people doing in our house?! Wait, isn't that Kazuma?! I-I'm sorry for laughing when you died! Please, just rest in peace and go to the afterlife!"

"Don't you faint too, old man…"

My father had just walked in to check on my mother. At first he appeared nervous at the appearance of strangers in his home, but this turned to pure horror after he saw me.

"Dad, why are you yelling? You'll disturb the neighbors… Eh?! Nii-san?!"

My little brother appeared next. I was starting to get annoyed by their reactions.

"Just calm down already! Aqua, can't you use some kind of magic to make them chill out for a second?"

"Oh, yeah, I have something like that, but it's normally used to reduce the hostility of monsters."

"I won't ask why you have never used such a useful ability in all this time we've been together. Just use it now, please."

"Calm!"

"Uwaaa…" x 2.

My father and brother started mellowing down as Aqua used her skill. A blue light enveloped the living room.

"This feels rather nice…"

"Maybe it's time to go nappy nap now…"

Darkness, Megumin and I were affected by the spell, too.

"Ahh… I was about to smack Aqua on the head after I learned that she had a useful ability like this and never used it, but this spell is making it too hard for me to muster any animosity. Damn you, Aqua…"

"I guess I really should use this more often. I can get away with all sorts of things. Hehe…"

Aqua diabolically smiled after realizing the full potential of this spell.

Part 9

"S-So our son Kazuma is not only alive, but he's a hero in a world where magic and monsters exist…?"

"Are you sure we aren't hallucinating, husband?"

"M-My nii-san is a light novel protagonist?!"

This is my mother, Reiko, my father, Kazuya and my little brother, Kazuto. After being under the effects of Aqua's Calm spell, I explained to them what had happened to me after my supposed death.

They were still in shock, but at least they were starting to come to terms with what I was telling them.

"S-So who are these girls with you? I know that slavery might be legal in another world, but I thought I raised you better than that, Kazuma…"

"What is my own mother implying about me?! These girls are my party members, not some slaves I bought to follow me around!"

"Eh? These pretty girls are willingly hanging around Kazuma?"

I didn't remember my mother being this savage with her words.

The girls took turns introducing themselves to my family.

"I'm Aqua, a goddess of water. Pleasure to meet you! Fufun. So this is Kazuma's family? I must say, you seem pretty normal compared to your son. I expected much worse."

"I am Megumin! Number One Arch-Wizard from the country of Belzerg! One who has followed the Crimson Path with Kazuma! I-I'm his girlfriend. It's nice to finally meet his family!"

"I'm Dark… Err, I mean, Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I'm sorry for the intrusion…"

Only Darkness had a normal introduction there. She properly acted like a noble lady this time, except for that tiny slip-up at the start.

Also, Megumin started off confidently with her speech but slipped-up once she introduced herself as my girlfriend.

"W-Wait, girlfriend?! Our Kazuma has a girlfriend?! And he's dating such a cute girl?!"

"Are you sure these aren't your slaves, Kazuma?! Hey, Megumin-chan was it? If our son is forcing you to do things, please tell your auntie! The justice system of Japan is on your side!"

My father and mother both couldn't believe that I was really going out with such a cute girl.

"N-Nii-san got a girlfriend before me?! And I was just thinking that this Megumin-san was just my type! Damn it!"

My little brother must have been going through puberty already, because he was already showing interest in girls. He was giving me a look of envy while looking at Megumin and the other beautiful girls I brought with me.

I didn't really intend to do this, but I wanted to show off a little bit.

"Ah, what can I say. Life has been good for me in that other world. I'm rich, I have a girlfriend, I live in a big mansion, and everyone treats me like a hero! I hate to say it, but I'm really glad that I was reincarnated into another world!"

"Nii-san really did become a light novel protagonist! I'm so jealous! Hey, if I get run over by a tractor and urinate myself after dying from the shock, will I be reincarnated into another world and get a harem, too?!"

I didn't say anything about a harem, but my little brother was fixated on that part, for some reason.

"Please don't do anything dangerous. I don't think the gods of that world are even accepting any heroes anymore, after the most villainous Devil King in that world was defeated by yours truly…"

"Ahem. He didn't do it by himself. In fact, I'd say the rest of us did most of the work."

Megumin intervened as I was bragging about the party's accomplishments.

"O-Oi! I defeated a high ranking Devil from Hell in that last fight!"

"I thought we already established that Kazuma's fight with that Aesir fellow was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. In fact, he only came to our world because you screwed up!"

"Stop mentioning that already!"

As Megumin and I were arguing, my mother smiled to herself and said,

"I see… I don't really get everything that you told me, but, at the very least, it seems you've found yourself quite the reliable group of friends, Kazuma…"

My heart clenched as I saw my mother looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"A-Ah, yeah. I… just wanted to come back here to tell you guys I'm fine, I guess. I didn't want you to live the rest of your lives thinking I'm dead. I'm alive and well, and I'm enjoying my daily life in another world…"

"Kazuma…"

My mother couldn't help herself and stood up to embrace me.

I slowly returned the hug, as tears started to form around my eyes as well. I couldn't help it. I was in the arms of my mother, who I haven't seen in a year and a half. My mother who looked older since I last saw her, most likely due to the fact that she had to suffer the loss of her eldest son.

The rest of my family was swept up by the scene and joined in on the hug. Even my little brother, who was never affectionate, joined in.

"Awww, such a touching scene! It almost makes you forget the fact that your parents couldn't help but laugh when they heard about your dumbass way of dying, right, Kazuma?"

"..." x 4.

The loving embrace turned into an awkward one thanks to Aqua.

Of course, she was the one to ruin it.

...

"Are you sure you don't want to stay longer, Kazuma?"

Darkness asked, as we left my home and walked out into the street at night.

We didn't stay long and left half an hour later. I considered telling them stories about my life in that world, but I didn't want to overwhelm them.

Things like Flying Cabbages, Giant Toads that swallow you up… none of those things would make sense to them. They hardly made sense to me, and I had witnessed those things with my own eyes.

"Well, thanks to a certain someone, it got really awkward at the end there. But yeah, it's time to go home… well, our home, at least. I can always come back thanks to this."

I took out the button as my party members gathered around me.

"It was nice to meet your parents, Kazuma. I even got to introduce myself as your girlfriend, too! And I guess you really are a hero from another world…"

"It's hard to believe, but I don't think his family would play along with Kazuma's lie like that. They're normal, decent people compared to him."

Megumin and Darkness finally believed me, although I was a bit pissed off that they'd rather believe people they just met over me, their trustworthy party member for all this time.

"I really like your family, Kazuma. Like Darkness said, they're actually decent and kind unlike you! Here, I'll bless their home and give them some good luck! Blessing!"

Aqua put her hands, as if in prayer, and cast a gentle, blue light over my home.

That gesture was actually really kind and sweet of her, so I decided not to beat her up for her rude comment, and for making things awkward back there.

"Alright, alright. Well, it's time to go back now. Are you girls ready?"

I looked at each of them and they all nodded. I placed the button before them, as they crowded in a circle around me.

"Let's go home, Kazuma!"

Aqua smiled as she put her hand over mine, her newly acquired Pekachu doll in hand.

"Fufufu… My lover from another world, let us go back to our original timeline and continue our Crimson Destiny!"

Spouting the usual chuuni lines, Megumin put her hand on top of Aqua's.

"Everyone, let's go back to…"

"Yeah, yeah, it's getting dark so let's just go back home already."

"Wait, let me finish…?!"

I ignored Darkness and pressed the button.

I glanced back at my home and caught my family watching us from the window. I waved to them.

Then I looked around at my friends as the light enveloped us.

Aqua, the useless goddess I dragged along to this world. I would have wanted nothing more than to trade her back for a cheat item back then, but now I couldn't imagine my life without this blue thing around. I'll never admit it to her, of course.

Megumin, the chuuni Arch-Wizard who blackmailed her way into the party. At first I thought she was just a troublesome girl who had some screws loose in her head. Over time, I began to see that she was more than just a crazy girl who was addicted to explosions. And I even began to develop feelings for her.

Darkness, the masochistic Crusader who stalked us around until we let her join in. She always charged off into danger because of her twisted fetishes, but she was our reliable frontliner. She had become a trusted confidant as well. Oftentimes, I ended up seeking her out whenever I needed to talk to someone.

These girls… They've become like a second family to me.

They weren't perfect, and they had flaws, but I was pretty much the same.

I'm just as idiotic and clumsy as they are, so we're a perfect fit.

Kazuto called me a light novel protagonist, but I felt like I was much better off than those flashy guys.

Harems? Overpowered abilities? A perfect life?

I don't want any of that.

All I need are these crazy idiots at my side.

With them around, I could live a peaceful daily life in that crazy but wonderful world.

And so...

With that said...

This wonderful world…

Please bless it!


A/N: That's it for the epilogue! I know I said I'll include an afterword here, but I'm honestly too tired from doing the final edits. I just wanted to get this final chapter done and upload it this weekend because I know that's when most of you have free time to read. I'll upload the afterword later, but if you don't want to read it, that's fine. In any case, thanks for reading and I hope you guys are staying safe and healthy!

-BB