Chapter Forty Six

There's something in his eyes that is worrying me. I'm very glad that he's willing to speak with me about this but I feel something is wrong. He looks to me before putting his hand on the bed and his face goes entirely pale. I know what he's thinking and it's okay. He is going to have some medical problems for years to come. I was going to just do some laundry later on and try to hide it from him that I did so.

"Ky-oko," he shivers as he keeps his head bowed, "I'm ss-sso…ss-orry," he says and I hate how ashamed he is about something so irrelevant. I look at him, put my hand to his cheek and kiss him passionately. He had a deep sleep last night. I'm just glad that he's getting his rest, I need for him to be okay, the girls need for their dad to be okay.

"It's okay. Don't think about it," I tell him wanting for him to just forget about the damp spot on the bed. I cover it with the blanket and pat down on it in an attempt to hide it from him. "Kuon, you are doing so well, don't let something like this take over your mind and keep you from working so hard. How do you feel? I can change the sheets easily if you need to get a little more rest." I probably should have already done so, I hate the look on his face as if he's saying how much he hates himself. It's not fair.

"Y-yyou….ww-w-oul-dd," he's struggling again. There's something about this question that is making it difficult for him. I trust him more than anyone else and I want him to trust me in that way too. This amazing, gorgeous god of a man might be four years older than me, he might want to think himself more mature, more independent but I know that he needs help and I want to make sure that he gets it from me. "You…" he starts speaking again, steadying his breaths like Matt and the doctors have instructed him so he can get his words out more quickly. "Don-n't…wa—" he shakes his head.

"Kuon?" I ask and I place my hand on his upper arm.

"I'm nno-tt…sse-sex-yy" he tells me and I blink.

How did he get that kind of warped perception of self? He doesn't feel sexy or he doesn't think that I find him sexy. He's absolutely amazing. Sexy? Let's say that he makes me feel things that I didn't think that I'd ever be able to feel. "Are you kidding me?" I ask. "I don't even look at other men because I can close my eyes and see you as intimately as possible. You're the type of sexy that neutralizes me to anything but the best."

Kuon sighs and I know that he's trying to make himself believe that. He's trying to say that that's all he needs to hear to have it convince him but as he turns to me I can see that he's wondering about something. We haven't been intimate in a while but it's because I've wanted to wait for him to be ready and do things at his speed. In the beginning, Kuon was patient about everything, even the small things like kissing my cheek in public. I've wanted to help him this time by being patient. He's right though, I have been changing out of his view for the past week but only because of a gift that I got for him.

His eyes lower to my breasts and then back up to my eyes, "Kyokko," he says before sighing and looking away. "Can y—you tta-ke o-ff"

I look at him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Okay. I'll take off my shirt. You're right I haven't been changing in front of you but I wanted to surprise you. I didn't want you to see it just yet but…" I take off my shirt and show a BandAid between my shoulder and left breast. I lift it up and smile.

Right above my heart in golden ink is a tattoo of one very precious word, 'Kuon'. Behind the gold is a shadow effect of an emerald green where it turns to a burnt sienna in some places. I look at him and see the shock in his expression followed by happiness and excitement. "I wanted to make sure to get you a birthday present that had a lot of sentimental value. You are my heart, Kuon." I take his hand and squeeze it. "And I would love to enjoy your body too whenever you feel ready for it."

Kuon smiles as he gently lets his fingers go over the tattoo, it's a little sore but I don't mind because it's him touching it. "I lo-vve it," he tells me before he frowns. "Wha—tt if…some'in' hap-pp-pens to me?" he asks and then looks away. "If you wa' to..rema-mar-ry"

I stare at him and blink. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You're doing so well with your speech but you just said a word I don't recognize. I don't know what that word means but it sounds distasteful to me and I don't want to ever hear it again." I lay back down in the bed, not caring that my wrist accidentally presses against the damp spot on the sheets. "I am yours, Kuon. Even if something were to happen to you which I swear I would do anything to prevent, you're still my husband and I don't believe in polygamy. I would much rather be a widow than have someone else touching me."

He gets down with me and wraps me up in his arms. I smile as I snuggle closer to him. How can he not see how gorgeous and amazing and intelligent he truly is. He spends so much time trying to be an amazing husband and father, he ignores those traits that he was born with that make him almost mythical. I will never stop thinking of myself as anything but the luckiest person in the world.

KyKuKyKu

After a quick nap, I'm able to regroup and get back up again. I hear the sounds of Rose and Ana playing together whilst waiting for us to get up. I turn to them and they smile up at me. We've been spending a lot more time together recently despite how I still have to go to different therapists.

"Daddy, play with us," Ana says as she grabs my hand and pulls me over to where she and Rose are playing with Rose's Barbies.

"Wh—Wha-tt's the…st-stor-ry to-dd-ay?" I ask as I kneel down with them and Rose hands me the doll of Flynn Ryder that she loves.

"Rapunzel is having a tea party," Rose tells me. "Belle is helping with the decorations."

"Yeah," Ana nods as she moves the Belle doll back and forth. I watch the two of them before bringing the Flynn doll over to Rapunzel.

"My…dd-ea-rr…pp-rin-cess," I try to make the doll speak as I did before when I used to play before my accident. "Hho-ww…mmay..I be of s-ser-vice?"

Rose giggles, "Take these ribbons over to Belle and she will hang them up," my eldest daughter tells me and I move Flynn's arms so he's able to at least have the ribbons resting on them. I make the doll walk over to the Belle doll Ana is playing with and Ana takes the ribbon and starts to messily put it up around the doll house.

I hear Kyoko laughing as she stands behind us. She leans down and supportively places a hand on my upper back. "It looks like you're having a fun game together but I thought that I would make pancakes. You have about five minutes but you can all play afterwards." She sees Ana and Rose play together and kisses my cheek. "You can play too," she winks at me.

I know that Kyoko has taken videos of us playing with dolls. She's done it before but since I've started playing again, since I'm able to play with them again, she takes a lot more videos of it. I guess one day I'm going to look back at those videos and be embarrassed about my speech.

I sit back and let the girls continue their game as I stay as an observer. As I sit there, Ana puts the doll down and Rose looks at her confused but Ana runs over to me and throws her arms around my neck. She kisses my cheek before seating herself on my lap. I wrap my arms around her. "Love you, Daddy," she tells me and I kiss the top of her head.

"No fair," Rose says as she puts the Rapunzel doll down and hugs me from the side. "I love Daddy too."

"I lo-ve the bo' of yy-y-ou," I tell them as I kiss Rose's cheek. They just seem so accepting of my condition, of how I can't form my words correctly. They just love me and I love them. As we sit together, Kyoko comes over to us and grins.

"We've got breakfast ready. Make sure to wash your hands before you eat," she tells them and then reaches for my hand as they leave. "Are you feeling a little better. They always get so happy when Daddy spends time with them and plays with them even when he's not feeling his best," she tells me and then kneels down beside me. "Anything that you'd like to do today."

"I wa-wa-ss mm-ea'—ing to as-kk y-you," I tell her and she blinks, tilting her head to the side.

"Ask me what?" she says as she nuzzles my neck affectionately now that the girls are washing their hands in the sink. She pushes my shorter hair back and blushes. "Your hair is just like it used to be," she tells me before cupping my cheek. "What do you want to ask me for?"

"M-My…Da-dd" I begin and she nods. I know that she's thinking that if it involves my father, then there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe it won't just be the two of us today but Kyoko has always looked to Dad as a paternal figure and she trusts him to support me and care for me. "Hhe…wa-ss g-gg-oi' t-too t—tak-ke me f-for c-co-ffee."

Kyoko freezes and pales. Apart from for doctors visits and to pick up the girls – which really means sitting in the car whilst Kyoko collects them – I haven't been out the house for a very long time. The public hasn't seen me for a very very long time. I know this worries her especially since the last time I tried to socially interact, somebody attempted to murder me.

She brushes my hair back, her eyes showing her concern but also a certain amount of pride and belief in me. "Can I come too?" she asks and I nod. She wraps an arm around me. "Okay. I mean, are you sure that you're up for it, there will be fans of yours there."

"Y-Ye-ah," I try to convince her and she looks nervous.

"Okay." She takes a deep breath in before hugging me from the side once again. "We can do that." I can feel her fear, it's the same fear that I have but I just feel that I need to do this. She kisses my lips passionately. "But you have to tell me if you don't feel okay and we'll leave."

"D-Dda-dd sai-dd…the s-s-same."

End of Chapter Forty Six

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Kaname671