Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
-0-
It was just like that night, eight years before. Edward and me, driving from Port Angeles to Forks, with questions hanging between us. But this time, we held hands on the console and his skin was warm.
I grazed my thumb over his knuckles as I thought back over the last few minutes. He'd said Alice hadn't called, and my mind could only come up with one explanation for him recognising Alexander. And if I was right, I wondered what it could mean.
"Did you read his mind?" I whispered, breaking the silence. "Is that how you knew who he was?"
I held my breath as a slight frown creased Edward's forehead, and he glanced from the road to me.
"No. I recognised him from the Facebook photo."
"Oh." I blinked. That was so far from where my mind was at, that I wanted to laugh. "What Facebook…oh! Not the one you saw when you were trying to find me? But that was, what…five years ago? Six?"
"Six."
"And you recognised him? Just from that one picture?"
Edward shrugged. "Some things stick in the memory," he murmured softly. "And tonight I knew it would give me the advantage, letting him know that I knew who he was. I'm not above petty one-upmanship, it seems."
I leant my head against Edward's shoulder as I made the mental shift from the supernatural to the ordinary. "I think he deserved your petty one-upmanship. And more."
Edward lifted my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles. "So, you thought my mind reading came back while I went to get the car?"
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, it sounds silly now, but…yes. Maybe. It seemed like the most logical reason. I'd forgotten about the Facebook photo."
Edward chuckled softly. A low, dark laugh. "It's a strange thing when mind reading seems like the most logical explanation."
I smiled. "Yeah, it is."
"Are you disappointed the explanation is so human?"
"No. Of course not. It's kind of funny. Facebook."
He lifted my hand again, this time grazing his lips over the inside of my wrist. The heat of his kiss sent a tingle through my veins and I nestled closer against him.
"As for going vamp," I murmured. "You told me before, it's like muscle memory. Right?"
"Right," he said. "The body remembers. Instincts kick in."
"Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Did you pinch the bridge of your nose when you were human the first time?"
"What?"
I pulled back, amused by the puzzled look on his face. "You didn't know you did that?"
"Pinch my nose?"
"The bridge of it. Up here." I demonstrated on my own nose. "It was something I noticed when I first met you. You did it when you were frustrated, or trying to calm yourself. And it seemed so human."
"Ah." He nodded. "And then tonight, for a moment, I was far from human." There was an edge to his voice.
"I kinda like it when you go vamp. But you know that."
He chuckled softly and turned away, looking out the window.
"Always the wrong reaction," he said.
"Are you saying I shouldn't like it?"
He shrugged and turned back to me. "I don't know. Maybe you should see it as a flaw in my character. If I were a better person, I would have ignored him and walked away. On top of that, my actions were criminal, you do realise that?"
Actually, I hadn't.
"Shit. Can he press charges?" I sat up quickly as a dart of fear shot through me. "And before you say anything else, you are the better person, Edward. Way better. I thought that would be obvious. You were defending my honour, after all, and there's no character flaw in that."
He squeezed my hand, his eyes tender as they searched my face.
"You always manage to make me feel ten feet tall," he whispered, surprising me, then turned back to the road.
"Technically, Alexander could press charges, but he won't." Edward turned the wipers up a notch as the rain grew harder and lightning flashed. "I saw the fear in his eyes. I've seen that fear in men before. It's me who puts it there, and it means I live for a long time in their nightmares. He won't do anything to cross my path again. Even in a court room. And besides, I left no marks."
It was all succinctly said, without emotion, and reflected the life he'd led before. His knowledge of humans and the way they worked. If I didn't know him, didn't know the gentle depths of his heart and soul, it would be chilling to hear.
But I did know him, and now I snuggled up to him again.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Which one?"
"About the nose pinching when you were young Edward Masen. Was it a human habit you took with you when you became a vampire?"
He shook his head and exhaled.
"I don't know. I don't remember. It's not a vampire thing to do, so…probably. Yes?" He looked at me, clearly bemused.
"I was just wondering." I grinned. "Can I ask another question?"
"Of course. You can ask me anything."
"You said you knew he was lying."
"Ah…" Edward stretched his neck from side to side. "He wasn't hard to read," he said. "From the first couple of seconds I knew he was going to try to get to me. I knew that's all it was and I wasn't going to let him win, but…" He exhaled and shook his head. "It was what he said, the disrespect towards you, the distress I knew it would cause you, just so he could get at me..." The fingers of his left hand clenched tight round the steering wheel, while the fingers of his right curled gently around mine. "There was no way he was getting away with that. It didn't matter that it was a lie."
He frowned then, focusing hard on the road ahead.
"And even if it were true," he said, voice quiet, "even if that had been a part of your relationship…what sort of man would try to use it to hurt you like that." He shook his head again. "And just so you know, it wouldn't change anything between us, if it were true."
I felt my eyes fill, and my heart swell. "I know it wouldn't. But it isn't."
"I know."
A deer ran across the road and Edward quickly swerved. He grabbed the steering wheel with both hands now as we hit a deep puddle at the side of the road and a spray of water arced up against my window. I gripped the sides of my seat as the back end of the car spun out, fishtailing across the road for just a second, until Edward easily brought it all back under control.
"Wow! Great reflexes," I said, heart pounding. "Very smooth." I expected him to smile, but he seemed a million miles away. And he didn't take my hand again. "You okay?"
"Bella, I want to ask you…" He cleared his throat and flexed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Did Alexander ever hurt you?"
I opened my mouth to say no, but the word wouldn't come. Instead, I shifted in my seat.
"Have I upset you?" There was anxiety in Edward's voice as he quickly turned to me.
"I was just getting my thoughts together," I said. "Okay, well, if you'd asked me that question a few weeks ago, I would have said no."
"But now?"
"Now, I've been looking at things differently." I bit my lip as I focused on my hands in my lap. "In the beginning, I thought his attentiveness was all about caring, that's how it seemed. Towards the end, though, his version of caringgot more extreme. It became controlling and when I told him it was over between us, he didn't accept it. When I tried to walk away he grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go. I had to twist my arm, kind of wrench my way out of his grip. It left bruises. Some swelling."
Edward kept staring straight ahead, but his jaw was hard. His eyes were dangerous.
"I always blamed myself." I went on. "Thought it was my fault. You know, I did it to myself, I should have stayed still, if I hadn't twisted my arm, if I hadn't pulled away…it's only recently that I realised he shouldn't have grabbed my arm. The bruises were never my fault."
"Did he know? Did he know what he did?" Edward's voice was cold, and as hard as his jaw.
"I didn't see him again after that. Until tonight. So, no."
Edward nodded. "I should have ripped his throat out," he muttered. He flexed his fingers again.
"Edward, after what you did tonight, he's going to be freaked out and looking over his shoulder for a long time. That's better than ripping his throat out. Seriously. It's like you said, he'll be sleeping with the light on for the rest of his life."
Edward didn't react. He stayed very still, and I held my breath, wondering if he was going to turn the car around and go hunt Alexander down. But then the corner of his mouth twitched. Just a little.
I smiled a small smile. "And that's good enough for me," I said. "Let it be enough for you. Please."
He reached across, curling his arm round my shoulders, pulling me closer.
"I can live with that," he said, pressing his lips to my temple in a gentle kiss.
"Good. Because I want to be able to tell you things, without worrying that you'll want to go out and avenge me."
He frowned then, but in the dim glow from the dashboard lights I could see a spark in his eyes. "Bella, exactly how many things are there that I would want to avenge for you?"
I was glad to see a lift in his mood. "Oh, not too many. There was the woman who pushed me out of the way at a Fossil sale so she could grab the satchel bag I was reaching for."
"Ah, okay."
"And the guy at Bed Bath and Table who wouldn't sell me a lamp because it was the last one and he had to keep it as a display model."
"I see a retail theme, here."
I grinned. "Someone scratched my car in a parking lot."
"A truly despicable act."
He was smiling now. "All good?" I asked.
There was a beat of hesitation. "All good," he said.
I reached for the radio and after running through a couple of stations, settled on something classical. The car was filled with the sound of soft, soothing music.
"Vivaldi," Edward murmured, taking a deep slow breath. "Nice."
Ahead, the headlights followed the twists and curves of the road. The rain got heavier, pounding on the roof of the car. Edward increased the volume of the music, and switched on the heat. A second later I felt a gentle warmth swirling round my legs, stirring more memories.
"What is it about this road, at night?" I murmured. "Always with the revelations and heavy conversations?"
Edward shrugged. "It's a Forks thing," he said.
-0-
I dreamt of the meadow that night. Edward and me lying amongst the wildflowers, warmed by the sun. It was peaceful. Calm. But the dream began to fade as I floated towards consciousness. Floated towards the sound of Edward's voice. Not close, but some short distance away. Soft and muffled, only every other word coming to me.
"…relief…no danger…Romania…"
I cracked open an eye and saw him sitting cross-legged on my old desk, phone to his ear. Bare-chested, wearing those low-slung sweatpants and with his hair extra-tousled, he was a sight to behold. Then my eyes drifted from him to my clothes scattered across the desk, and the floor. Edward's too. And my mind went back to the night before.
Our arrival back from Port Angeles. Edward leaning across the console to kiss me and the heavy make-out session that followed in the front seat of the rental car. But Porsche's aren't designed for such things, especially when someone is six feet four, so then we were trying to be quiet as we hurried into the house and up the stairs, tearing at each other's clothes and barely making it to the bed before he took me. Hard. Claiming me and leaving his mark. Leaving me in no doubt that I was his.
Afterwards, he'd curled himself around me, holding me so close I was almost part of him.
I felt my cheeks heat at the memory and, sitting up, I let the sheets slip down to my waist. Edward's eyes flickered as I touched the softly fading mark over my left breast. I smiled, teasing him, moving my fingers lower, circling my nipple as he adjusted himself awkwardly. Tugging at his pants, he smiled back at me, pointed at the phone and mouthed "Jasper".
Oh. I pulled the sheet up again and hugged my knees to my chest.
"Where do you think you'll start?" Edward was asking his brother. "Sounds like a good plan. If there's anything I can do…no, of course, I understand…well good luck, let me know."
He ended the call, pushed his hair back from his face, and grinned.
"They've found Marion," he said.
"Oh!" Marion Tinsley. The museum curator who'd been at the start of all our Volturi drama. It seemed so long ago now and my sleepy brain stumbled through a quick back-tracking of events. "They tracked her to Singapore, right?"
Edward nodded. "But with everything that happened in Volterra, they haven't been able to go to her until now." He got off the desk and came to sit on the end of the bed. "Jasper and Alice arrived in Singapore two nights ago. Last night they tracked Marion down and told her everything, once they convinced her they weren't a threat." Edward rubbed at his chin. "Took a while, apparently. Jasper's gift didn't work as easily on her as it does on most humans."
"That was the issue with her all along, wasn't it? Heidi's gift didn't work either."
"True." Edward looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook himself. "Anyway, they're going to help her find Gheorghe, so maybe he can see Cristina again."
I blinked, taking a second so my brain could catch up, remembering the love story of Marion's grandparents.
"They're going to help Marion reunite them?"
"Yep."
"Even though he's a vampire and she's…jeez, how old would she be now?"
"Old," Edward said.
"Oh! And the woollen cap!" I remembered. "Cristina made a woollen cap for him, and wrote him a letter, but never got to give them to him."
"Marion still has them," Edward said.
"And Jasper wants to make sure Gheorghe gets his gift?"
"And to see his wife one more time." Edward smiled. "He's a romantic at heart, is Jasper. Also, Alice says she's seen a wedding dress that's perfect for you, and will be sending pictures."
He kissed me quickly, swiftly, then climbed off the bed. "And speaking of romance, Miss Swan…what was that game you were playing a minute ago while I was trying to talk on the phone."
I giggled. "Just teasing you. You could come back to bed and we could continue."
"Mm…" He leant in close and nipped at my ear. "We could. Or we could get up and get dressed. I have plans."
"At this hour? It's so early."
He laughed. "Not that early, it's almost nine. Charlie left the house an hour ago." He glanced out the window. "Although the cloud cover does make it look earlier," he admitted. "Regardless, we need to get moving. What I have in mind might take us a while. We're going to the meadow."
"The meadow?"
He nodded, his eyes bright. "You've been talking about it in your sleep."
It was then I noticed the faint circles beneath his eyes. "Did I keep you awake?"
"No," he said. "I was already awake but your talking kept me company. You talked about it the other night, too so I thought we could go to the meadow today. But it's a long walk from the car through the woods, if you remember."
"I remember." I felt a rush of joy burn through me. The meadow. So many happy memories. That first visit, which had ended in our first kiss, and then so many other visits during the perfect summer that followed. "Okay, lets go!"
I scrambled off the bed and pulled on my robe, just as my phone rang. A number I didn't recognise. I frowned as I leant against the desk and accepted the call.
"Hello?"
"Hi! Is this Bella? My name's Sirelle from Whimsical Weddings in Florida. Your mom's been in contact with us about your upcoming wedding. Congratulations!"
Sirelle's voice was professionally friendly, and loud, and I had to hold the phone out from my ear a little. I could tell from Edward's smirk that he could hear every word.
"Er, my mom didn't mention anything about…"
"Oh? She didn't? Well, that's okay. I can go through things with you now, tell you what we do and how we can help. We're a team of wedding planners who specialise in weddings that are out-of-the-ordinary, creative, a bit different and…"
"Whimsical?"
"Yes! That's right! We can organise the wedding of your dreams. A wedding your guests will talk about for years to come. Let me tell you…"
Sirelle was going into details now, but I wasn't really listening because Edward had laid back on the bed and was rubbing his hand over his naked torso.
Apparently, it was payback time.
"…you could time your wedding with the summer solstice, or the winter solstice, in a forest…"
Eyes closed, he lazily traced the hills and hollows of his six-pack with one hand, while the other hand pulled slowly through the tangled bronze hair on his head.
"…a medieval theme, with velvet robes and swords. Everyone loves a sword!"
Edward's hand moved lower, two fingers dipping below the waistband of his sweatpants to graze back and forth over his skin.
"…or you might prefer something mythical…"
I watched, mesmerised, as Edward bit hard into his lip, then winked as his hand moved lower.
"…or even magical. You could hold a wand instead of a bouquet…"
His hand began a slow rhythm beneath the thin cotton, the blue and white stripes rising and falling. I squeezed my legs together. This was the type of payback I could handle. And a lot more.
"…a maypole dance…"
With a flourish, Edward kicked off his pants. They flew through the air, landing in my lap, and then I could see it all…
"…imagine riding a magnificent white steed…"
"Actually, Sirelle, I'm kind of busy right now, can we talk later?"
"Oh, of course, I understand if something needs your attention…"
The call ended. I dropped the phone, then I dropped my robe. "Yeah, something needs my attention."
-0-
We'd been walking for an hour, when Edward stopped and stared round him. For a second he seemed unsure, but then he pointed to his right and smiled.
"This way." He let go of my hand to hold some ferns aside for me.
Everything was wet from last night's rain, the cloud cover was thick above the forest canopy, and I tugged the collar of my jacket up around my ears.
We climbed over fallen logs and sidestepped mossy rocks, navigating the dark green labyrinth of ancient trees. This wasn't like our other treks to the meadow. Those had been in warmer seasons, on rare days when sunlight fell through the leaves and dotted the forest floor with little pools of light. I wondered what the meadow would look like in early winter and began to wonder if we should leave the happy memories as they were.
Edward was quiet, talking less and less as he forged a path through the green, stopping here and there to help me over the trickier bits. And then suddenly, he stopped.
"Can you hear the stream?" He turned to look at me over his shoulder. His smile was brilliant, but there was the faintest trace of confusion in his eyes. "I didn't think we'd gone far enough yet, but if we can hear the stream…"
"Then the meadow's close by?"
He nodded. "I think so. We've probably come to it from a different angle than we used to, that's all. But do you see the brightness ahead?"
He'd asked me exactly that question the first time he brought me here. I wondered if he realised. His expression had been bright and expectant then too, just like now.
I grinned back, now wanting nothing more than to step into that perfect circle of wildflowers and happy memories, even if it wasn't wildflower season. I could live with that. "Yeah, I think I can."
"Come on." He laughed and grabbed my hand. "Let's go." We picked up our pace and a moment later we burst through the wall of trees into a tiny, dark green clearing, not much bigger than a basketball court but completely open to the grey sky. In the centre stood a lone tree.
"This isn't the meadow." Edward let go of my hand. Frowning, he looked about him as he scratched his head. "I don't recognise…I was so sure…the stream…"
"Maybe it's a different stream?"
"Or it's the same stream and we just need to keep following the sound." He held out his hand to me, his eyes encouraging, determined. "Come on." He smiled. "We'll find it. We just need to go deeper into the forest." He pointed to the opposite side of the clearing where all was dark beyond the first line of trees.
I only hesitated for a second, but it was enough. Edward slowly lowered his hand.
"You don't want to?"
"I do," I said quickly. "I'd love to see it again but…um…" He cocked his head in that way he had, waiting for me to articulate my thoughts. "Edward, mountain lions don't hibernate, do they?"
He blinked a couple of times, his face suddenly unreadable.
"No," he confirmed. "They don't."
He groaned then and rubbed his hands over his face. "I really can't get anything right, can I?" He laughed, a weary sort of laugh that had nothing to do with humour. "Vampire or human, whatever I do ends up wrong. You've been talking about the meadow in your sleep and I thought…except I didn't think."
"I wanted to come," I reminded him. "I'd had exactly the same thought, yesterday and the day before. It was only now, when you talked about going deeper into the woods that it occurred to me…"
"But I should have realised," he interrupted. "I wanted to give this to you, but I'm not invincible anymore and I've put you at risk bringing you…here…" He waved a hand at the surrounding trees. "And it isn't even the right place. Oh my God…" He shook his head. "Isn't this exactly the kind of reckless activity Alexander tried to get you to do? Go off the trails? And I didn't even bring a bell or a whistle." He face was grim as he leant against the trunk of the lone tree, arms folded across his chest.
I took a deep, slow breath, trying to still the sudden rush of frustration brought on by his words.
"Don't you dare compare yourself to him, Edward. Just…don't."
But he kept going.
"There I was, eight years ago, thinking I was saving you by taking myself out of your world, doing the right thing, but all I did was leave the way open for that manipulative, abusive, controlling bastard." He looked skyward, towards the grey.
"You really doing this?" I asked.
He shrugged, still focused on the clouds. "Looks like it." His words drifted into a heavy sigh. "I used to know these woods like the back of my hand. Every tree. Every leaf."
It was my turn to sigh. He was clearly having a moment, so I sat down on a wide hollow log, ready to wait it out, wondering what exactly had brought this on. Was it just about not finding the meadow? Or was it about Alexander?
"Edward, last night, after Alexander ran off, you told me you were sorry. What was that for?"
"Oh, so many things. But Alexander was at the top of the list."
I rolled my eyes. "You do realise that I make my own decisions, right? I chose to date Alexander. It wasn't your fault, or mine, that he was a dick. I also chose to come into the forest today."
"And you chose to find me again." He'd gone off on a different tangent it seemed. "And wasn't that a miracle? But then, when you found me, you were still in danger."
So not exactly a different tangent, then. We'd come full circle, back to the danger argument.
"Yeah, well…" I flicked an insect from my sleeve. "You do leave the bathroom floor wet and slippery after a shower."
"I hadn't thought about the bathroom floor." He smirked. "But we can add that to the list. Along with bringing you into the woods today. Leaving you at the mercy of scum like Alexander eight years ago. Lets not forget the Volturi last month. I always thought you were the danger magnet. Maybe it was me all along." A low, grim chuckle escaped his lips. "I swear Bella, you couldn't make this shit up. I could write a book but even as a work of fiction it'd be too over-the-top."
"Fantasy genre?"
"Obviously."
I was glad for the tiny chink of light in his argument. If he could laugh at himself, that was a good thing.
"You're probably right." I shifted, easing myself off a bump in the log. "Too over-the-top. I'd give it two stars on Goodreads."
"And the lead character has no redeeming qualities."
"Hang on, who are you talking about there? You? Or me?"
"Me."
"So, you're the lead character in this story? You get all the glory?"
His lips twitched with a wry smile. "I wouldn't say there's any glory to be had. But to clarify, the male lead has no redeeming qualities."
I tossed back my hair and pretended to consider. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I can think of several."
"I don't know if good intentions count."
"You must be reading a different book, Edward. The male lead in my story is made up of more than good intentions. He is good."
Edward's eyes softened. "He tries," he whispered. "He tries so hard. But he's so deeply flawed."
I leant forward, resting my elbows on my knees, face cradled in the palms of my hands. "We've had these conversations before. Everyone screws up sometimes. Why should you be any different?"
"Ah…" He smiled as he stared down at his feet. "But my mistakes aren't exactly like other people's, Bella. When I screw up it's pretty spectacular. Often dangerous. Sometimes deadly. Like leading you to the Volturi."
I frowned. "You hardly led me to them."
"It seemed that way to me, though. It seemed exactly that way."
"Edward…" I shook my head. "We've been through all this. We both know what happened, it was no-one's fault. I thought you believed that?"
He lowered himself to the ground, sat with his back against the tree, and shut his eyes.
"Maybe," he said.
Oh my gosh, what could I say to him?
I looked around me, as if inspiration might be found in the darkness of the trees, or the heavy grey sky. I shivered, feeling the cold seeping in. Edward had said something the day before, when we'd gone to the see the Cullen house, about it being so long since we'd seen the sun. And that led me to a fresh realisation…and a sudden rush of shame.
"Edward, when we went to your old house, you weren't just worried about me, were you? You didn't want to be there either." How could I have not seen that?
He cracked open an eye.
"That obvious, was it?"
"No. Not until just now. And I'm so sorry, I just didn't think…I was so busy with how I was feeling, I didn't…"
He smiled and held up a finger, stopping me.
"Don't," he whispered. "You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing. But I'll be honest with you," he said, shutting his eyes again as he rested his head back against the tree trunk. "I was glad when you changed your mind. Does that make me a coward?"
"Oh my God, no! Of course, it doesn't! It makes you…"
"Human?"
"Yeah." I smiled. "Human."
He huffed, a small sound of derision. "And I make such a great human."
I scrambled over the grass and sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder, and took his hand.
"Yeah, I think you do."
He opened his eyes, lifted my hands to his lips and pressed a soft kiss there.
"Thank you," he whispered. "But if I'm still being honest, I didn't expect coming back to Forks would be so…unsettling." He paused, gathering his thoughts, it seemed. "Looking at the past through a human lens is difficult. Confronting. And it's hard not to feel like a fraud."
I rested my head on his shoulder, like I had the night before in the car. I wanted to challenge the fraud comment but he wasn't really in the right frame of mind to be called out on anything.
"Too much vampire stuff going on?" I said, instead.
"I don't know." He leant his head against mine. "Maybe. Or perhaps it's just too much Edward stuff. The clouds don't help, of course." He glared towards the sky, like it had offended him. Then he started talking, in that rapid fire way that he sometimes used to, the words coming so fast I could barely keep up.
"Being back here, in Forks, every mistake I've made is amplified, every failing, and there's a battle going on inside me. The vampire versus the human. Having a foot in each world, but not belonging in either. I mean, I had to tell your father my body count, and then try to prove why the human version of me wasn't a bad choice for his daughter. I was absolutely a Cullen when I confronted Jacob Black, citing vampire treaties and assessing who was the true alpha wolf, but I'm all Edward Masen when I'm with you. Until I run into your ex-boyfriend and then I'm back in a dark alley with my prey, and I'm dangerous and only just this side of human."
He stopped talking then, suddenly, abruptly, and looked away. I squeezed his hand as I blinked back tears, refusing to let them fall. He didn't need me crying right now.
"That's a lot to have going on inside," I whispered.
He gave a grim laugh. "It's a master class in overthinking, that's what it is. I don't normally feel this way," he added.
"It's just being back here?"
"Probably. I mean, I've had dark moments before, you know that, but this is…" He stopped, and squared his shoulders. "It's fine. I'm fine. It's nothing I can't deal with. I know who I am." He flashed me a quick smile, then exhaled as he stared again at the sky.
This was breaking my heart and my mind searched frantically for the right thing to say. Magic words that would make it all better. But knowing deep down that sometimes words won't cut it and just being there is enough. I'd known that coming back to Forks would be difficult, even without Jake's interference. But I hadn't realised just how difficult it might be for Edward. And I also wondered if this this had all been brewing beneath the surface since the Volturi set foot in Sydney.
Edward shifted suddenly, lying down so his head was in my lap. He kept hold of my hand, holding it hard against his chest like a lifeline; my palm pressed over his beautiful, beating heart.
"Your heart is real," I whispered.
He became perfectly still, his breath stilling as he stared at me. Then something flickered in his eyes; a spark behind the green. Slowly, he lifted his hand and gently touched my cheek, and it seemed as if his whole body sighed.
"Yes, it is." He swallowed. "And this, you and me, our life together, this is real, isn't it?"
"Yes," I said, and tangled my free hand in his hair, gently winding the bronze strands round my fingers. "It's as real as it gets."
"And the future I see for us, the children, the family holidays, adding a second floor to the house to make room for us all…that's real."
My tears threatened again and I quickly blinked them back. "Yes," I reassured him. "It is. It really is."
"And Max and Hannah, Rose and Emmett. And Ren."
The mention of his dog made me smile. "They say dogs are excellent judges of character, just so you know."
"Red velvet cake," he said. "And that first coffee of the day…"
He caught me by surprise with that one. "Not together, I hope! Not for breakfast."
"Only sometimes," he murmured.
"It always come back to food with you, doesn't it?" I teased.
Above us, the clouds began to thin, allowing a pale beam of sunlight to struggle through. It fell on Edward's face, with not a sparkle to be seen, and he closed his eyes and smiled. A beautiful smile of peace and contentment.
"Food." He sighed. "Sun. Sleep. Dogs. You. Not necessarily in that order."
I laughed. "I'll always be here." I stroked his forehead, lazy spirals. "You've built a beautiful life, Edward."
He nodded. "You know what else is good about being human?" His voice cracked and a single tear ran slowly across his cheek. "I can cry."
-0-
A/N: Thank you for all your lovely reviews for the last chapter. It's amazing to know that, after almost four years, people are still reading this story and I appreciate you all sticking with me x
I've had these last two chapters in my head for a long, long time. I always thought that going back to Forks would be really confronting for Edward, and would stir up lots of insecurities and doubts about himself.
I really enjoyed reading your theories around Edward recognising Alexander, and a couple of you guessed right about the Facebook picture. I get the feeling Edward stared at that photo for a long time.
This chapter is unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine. All mine : )
There's another chapter coming and I'll get it up as soon as I can. In the meantime, take care and stay safe xx
