"So…how are you holding up?"
The Tuesday morning Elsa's parents were due to arrive home found Anna sitting in a very familiar seat at the campus café, across the table looking into a pair of very familiar anxious blue eyes.
Still well before the majority of the campus was up for classes, the café was as empty as it was on the late nights the two of them had spent there after Anna's barn shifts or riding lessons earlier in the semester. And much to Anna's surprise, it had been Elsa who has suggested they meet at the café that morning in the first place. She'd originally said to Anna over text that doing so might help her get her mind off of everything…but one look at the sight of her worried girlfriend told Anna that it was going to be very difficult to keep Elsa's thoughts from wandering to the dreaded scenario of losing the horse that meant the world to her.
"Honestly, Anna…I'm scared," Elsa admitted, shoving an entirely untouched half of a double chocolate chip muffin around with a fork on her plate. It was the other half to the one that Anna had ordered, with the redhead hoping it would brighten the senior's spirits just a bit—but as it would seem…not even chocolate could help a problem as large as this one.
"Have you heard what time they might be back?" Anna asked, figuring that maybe focusing on the specifics would at least keep Elsa preoccupied from thinking about all of the hypothetical negative outcomes likely wreaking havoc in her mind.
"Yeah," Elsa said, finally sticking her fork through the center of the chocolate muffin—with maybe just a little more force than necessary, "They'll be back by noon. And they want to see me on Legacy to determine how much progress she's made 'no later than 12:30 sharp'."
Yeesh.
That was a bit of a rigid schedule…wasn't it?
"Why so soon?" Anna asked, "Don't they have the whole rest of the day? And week?"
"Apparently, my father would like to waste no time," the clear disdain was still present in the senior's voice.
Anna wrinkled her nose in response, "I mean to me that just seems a little extreme. Not that I should have been expecting much else from what you told me, I suppose…"
"Strict parents, strict rules—what can I say?" Elsa sighed, her borderline angry tone deflating to more of a subdued rendition of hopelessness, "Welcome to my life."
Now, the senior seemed to become much more interested in breaking her half of the chocolate muffin into the tiniest pieces possible than she ever had been in eating it, while Anna sat in her own contemplative silence. She wished more than ever that she could at least be there for Elsa while her parents assessed her ride with Legacy, but in reality of the situation, she knew that this was something the senior needed to do on her own. And besides…the redhead would unfortunately be attending a very long biology lab at 12:30 that afternoon, anyway.
So, if she couldn't be there for Elsa that afternoon, then she supposed the best thing she could do at the moment was continue to try to keep the senior's mind preoccupied.
"Do you like to travel, Elsa?"
"What?" the senior asked, fork frozen mid-motion in the air above her plate and questioning blue eyes once again meeting Anna's own.
Guess that did the trick, then…
"Do you like to travel?" Anna repeated. And then—because it really was a rather odd question to ask in this exact moment, the freshman explained, "Since your parents like to travel so much, I was wondering if maybe they ever took you with them. You know…like when you were younger and didn't have the responsibility of overseeing an entire horse farm."
"Oh," Elsa said, still sounding a bit surprised at the question. But she answered anyway, "I mean, yeah they used to take me with them. And Kai would look after the farm by himself, back when he was actually able to do it all by himself all the days we were gone. We went to quite a few different countries. Saw some really pretty islands, too. That was…before the business grew to be so large. Back when Storm was still around," Elsa smiled, but again it seemed distant, as it so often did when the senior thought about her childhood fjord pony, "But to answer your question, no. I never really liked traveling. I mean, don't get me wrong—the places were beautiful. But still…nothing made me happier than coming home to the horses."
"I get that," Anna said, "Whenever we'd go on vacation, I'd always be so excited to get back to riding. But I certainly still enjoyed spending time on the beach."
"You know, I suppose my favorite parts of our travels were always the beaches we'd go to along the way," Elsa replied.
"Really?" Anna asked, "You like the beach?"
Maybe it was because of all those times Elsa wore polo shirts in the middle of winter, always claiming that the cold never bothered her…but the blonde's response definitely came as a surprise.
"Why?" Elsa laughed, "Can't picture me there?"
"I mean, I…" Anna started.
She had being going to say that she'd certainly never had the need to. But suddenly—and with an entirely embarrassing amount of detail—the redhead found her mind running away with her as it sometimes liked to do at the most inopportune moments. Her thoughts began painting a rather intriguing image that Anna found she couldn't (or simply just didn't) want to stray from quite yet, and that was how the redhead discovered that she most certainly could now picture her girlfriend on the beach.
Elsa—with her platinum blonde hair maybe high up in a ponytail instead of in its usual cascading braid, relaxing in the sand under the summer sun, and in nothing but a blue string bikini…
"You...what, exactly?"
The senior's pointed question was punctuated by the raise of one perfect eyebrow, clearly prompting Anna to complete her unfinished sentence while seeming to know just exactly where the redhead's mind had wandered.
Despite the deep shade of crimson she tried to fight from spreading across her face, Anna did her best to feign a casual composure, "I can picture you there."
"Except my bikini is actually purple," Elsa said with a wink.
And Anna almost dropped her own fork right out of her hand.
Did I really go back to saying things aloud without meaning to?
From the way her girlfriend was looking at her, though…it was very apparent that the answer to that question was a large and embarrassing 'yes'.
"You're so mean to me," Anna complained, hiding her face behind her hands.
"And you're cute when you're all flustered," Elsa said boldly—which of course had Anna's attention all over again, especially when it came along with one of the blonde's half-smirk, half-smiles that always sent the freshman's heart racing. Anna allowed herself to be momentarily captivated by the senior's lips, wishing she could lean in and meet them with her own…but of course that was the downside to sitting across from her girlfriend and not next to her, now wasn't it?
"Oh, stop teasing me and eat your chocolate," Anna instructed with a little smile of her own, knowing that letting herself get lost in more thoughts would do her no favors.
Elsa let out an exaggerated, melodramatic sigh, "Fine, if I must."
And besides, Anna supposed that if anything good was to come out of her making a blushing, embarrassing fool of herself…keeping Elsa's mind off of the events of the rest of the day was worth it. In fact, she was able to keep the conversation from shifting to anything about Legacy up until it was actually time for Elsa to head home, and Anna to get to class.
They didn't even have to check the time to know when their impromptu breakfast date was drawing nearer to a close—for the past fifteen minutes, students had started to file into the little café one by one to order their morning coffees. And now, vacant tables were being filled quickly around them, which was a telltale sign that morning classes were about to begin.
"Yep, that's my cue," Anna said a little reluctantly, after the alarm on her phone went off—the one she always kept set for her first class of the day.
The freshman stacked their two empty plates to return to the counter while Elsa cleared the rest of their little table and collected her things before she met Anna back outside.
"Thanks for meeting me," Elsa said, "It helped a lot."
Anna offered the blonde a smile, "I'm glad."
The little café was now bursting with students going in and coming out around them, but Anna barely noticed them. Instead, the chaos of the world stilled as she leaned in and kissed the senior like she had wanted to do all morning. It was soft, and gentle.
When they parted, Anna looked up into Elsa's clear eyes—her frenzy of worry momentarily stilled like the world around them. And the redhead said sincerely, "Good luck, Elsa."
"Thank you," the senior replied softly.
And then she turned, making her way to the parking lot. To the silver car that Anna had watched leave that very parking lot time and time again. And then, Anna knew, back to the barn—where Elsa would have to ride Legacy for her parents to see. Where Elsa would have to tell them, for the first time, how much Legacy really meant to her…
All while knowing that this one ride had the potential to be their very last.
Although the freshman herself was slightly apprehensive about what decisions were to come surrounding Elsa, Legacy, and the mare's likelihood of being able to stay at Arendelle Riding Academy...Anna actually had plenty to do that morning to help pass the time. It started bright and early with her quiz on a book she was currently reading for her literature class—on the chapters Anna had put off reading until the prior night. But, the freshman supposed it did work out for her in the end, with the information fresh enough in her head to complete the questions with ease.
That's right, Anna thought a little victoriously, as she made her way to the front of the room to hand in her quiz, sometimes, waiting till the last minute pays off…
In other instances, however, Anna's slight tendency to procrastinate when the work seemed extra tedious did more harm than good, and the prime example of that for today was Anna's presentation for her sociology class. It had been a project assigned in the very beginning of the semester, and each student had been given a date throughout the semester on which they would present. The freshman had at first been glad for this, having been selected to present closer to the end of the semester. But when she'd found that it was much more quickly approaching than she'd previously thought (because truly, the semester and Anna's entire first year of college was nearly drawing to a close—where had the time gone?) she'd panicked a little.
"How is it the beginning of April already?" she distinctly remembered complaining to Kristoff.
Her best friend had merely shrugged from where he'd sat at Anna's desk chair, while the redhead had sat in her bed typing her presentation frantically on her laptop, among a mess of books, printouts, and notecards that had of course ended up strewn around her with absolutely no sense of order. But what Kristoff hadn't offered in advice, he more than made up for in encouragement—he'd brought Anna enough chocolate to at least made the entire process slightly more manageable.
And Anna sure was glad he had as she walked into her second class of the day, prepared with a presentation that she was actually fairly happy with. She got through it with ease (which did come as a surprise, as the redhead was notoriously one to trip over her own words) and then was whisked away to her next task: the dreaded two and a half hour biology lab.
The freshman had learned very quickly into the semester that science labs weren't nearly as fun without Elsa. She had a great lab partner who she got along well with, and she was certainly grateful for that. But still, it of course just wasn't the same. And their lab for today was certainly not helping, as their class was now focusing briefly on anatomy—which had the redhead reminiscing about how the last time she'd had a crash-course in that very topic, it had led to her and Elsa's first kiss.
Quit daydreaming though, or you're actually going to knock something over, Anna chided herself, knowing very well that it was a likely possibility. And if she did so, she wouldn't earn a well-knowing, yet endearing look from a certain blonde someone. Instead, it would be more like a mildly disapproving stare from the rest of her class—professor included.
Fortunately however, two and a half hours later, Anna could proudly say that the only thing she'd managed to disturb was a spare pen that had hit the floor with the tiniest of clatters.
"But I'm telling you—it was not my fault that the professor left it so close to the edge of the table," Anna argued her point to Rapunzel, after exhaustedly flopping onto her bed when she had returned to their room. While she had her biology lecture with both Rapunzel and Olaf, all three had different lab times, and so Anna had always made a habit of telling the brunette what she would be in store for later in the week.
"Still, that's definitely a record for you," her roommate laughed, "Since you're always knocking things over in here left and right."
"But I've never broken anything!" the redhead exclaimed exuberantly.
"Always the optimist," Rapunzel replied, "I don't think I've met anyone else besides you and Olaf who can find the bright side to literally every single situation."
"Well…" Anna started, but then frowned, as her roommate's words brought her back to the dilemma and slight worry she'd been trying to keep out of her head nearly the entire day, "I try to, anyway."
"Why the long face all of a sudden?" her fellow freshman asked, as she lifted her book bag from its spot on the floor—she had her art class fairly soon, Anna knew.
"Just…thinking about Elsa," Anna replied, not entirely sure how far she wanted to delve into the topic in detail.
"And since when has that ever made you frown instead of smile uncontrollably?" Rapunzel said, clearly not wanting to leave until she knew everything was alright.
Anna sighed. There was no harm in sharing a bit of the story, was there?
"Since Elsa's parents told her they wanted to sell her favorite horse—Legacy," Anna explained, "They were supposed to watch Elsa ride her today to determine Legacy's progress for sale ads, but Elsa wants to prove to them that she's still worth keeping. And what it really all comes down to is that Elsa's parents base a horse's worth off of monetary value…but don't necessarily take into consideration how much that horse might mean to someone for other reasons entirely."
"Ah," Rapunzel said, "A case of 'mother knows best', is it?"
"I mean, from all of Elsa's stories it seems to be both of her parents. But for all intents and purposes…yeah," Anna replied, "So, now you can see why I'm a bit worried."
Especially…since she hasn't told me anything yet, Anna realized, sitting up as she factored that new piece of information into the whole puzzle of her slightly-escalating apprehensions. The small, glowing screen of her phone read that it was already 3:30—and surely Elsa had talked things over with her parents already, given that the senior's father ran such a tight schedule.
"I'm sure you'll hear from her soon," Rapunzel said, seeming to understand now that Anna was much more focused on her phone and her clearly non-existent text messages than she was on their conversation.
"You're probably right," the redhead nodded.
And then she placed her pone back down on her bed, knowing that spending time aimlessly scrolling through her empty inbox in anticipation would definitely do her no good.
She just had to give Elsa space, right? Just like Anna had learned before, when the senior had first found out that her parents wanted to sell Legacy sooner than anticipated—she'd pushed for more information before Elsa had even come to terms with it, not even realizing that she'd been doing so. She had to respect the fact that Elsa needed time to think things through if her parents were to say 'no', and Anna didn't even yet know that they had...
But Anna's worry grew just a little larger, when she now considered that had Elsa's parents already agreed to keep Legacy…then she would have most certainly heard from the senior by now.
Wouldn't she have?
"Well," Rapunzel said, and her roommate's words drew Anna momentarily out of her own thoughts, "I do have to get to class now, unfortunately. But…if you need to talk about anything else, I'll be here the whole rest of the day."
Anna nodded in reply, always grateful for her friend's support. And when she was left alone in their room again, she still had an entire hour to find a way to pass the time before she would have to get ready for her riding lesson.
There's plenty you can do to keep yourself preoccupied until then, the redhead thought, making her way over to her desk and sitting down in front of her laptop instead. Surely her only half-started essay due next week was something she could work on for an hour.
But…the fact that she felt like she even needed a distraction at all should have proven to Anna that it just wasn't going to work. Not this time, anyway, when the root of her worries just suddenly seemed so unnaturally deeply planted. In fact, it seemed to be manifesting itself into a full-blown anxiety, because when Anna's phone buzzed fifteen minutes later from where she'd left it on her bed, she leapt up from her chair more quickly than she even thought she could.
Please let it be Elsa…
The phrase played on repeat in the redhead's mind.
Much to Anna's disappointment, however, the text she'd received was a notification from the campus, reminding all students that one of the far parking lots was to be closed for a particular event being held that coming Friday.
Suddenly frustrated with the entire idea of not knowing, Anna threw her phone at her pillow and frowned in its general direction. Why was she so…so not optimistic all of a sudden?
"Elsa will tell you when she tells you," Anna said aloud, in an effort to really make the worrisome thoughts dissipate, "She'll tell you when she's ready. Maybe they're still talking about it, or maybe it's just taking longer than you think it should have?"
Except, the more Anna came up with hypothetical excuses, the more harm her thoughts seemed to do than good. Her sudden nervousness was tampering with her normally positive outlook, and it was an odd feeling for Anna—one that she just couldn't quite seem to shake. And even though she didn't want to admit it, the freshman had a feeling that it all came down to one thing. One thing that so unwelcomingly forced itself back into the forefront of Anna's mind, despite thinking she'd hidden it from herself so well…
What if she shuts you out again?
It was like…this little seed of doubt that had been planted in the back of Anna's mind. And she'd been ignoring it ever since the last time she'd found herself thinking about it; never gave it permission to come out again and grow to disrupt this newfound happiness she'd discovered with Elsa over these past few months—and these past few weeks, especially.
But now?
Now that Anna was slowly giving into the doubts she'd clearly harbored about this very situation for so long, they were manifesting uncontrollably, all on their own. And that seed was slowly becoming what Anna pictured to be a giant, ugly tree with these twisting branches that dared Anna to look down every winding hypothetical negative outcome that she'd previously refused to listen to; dared her to consider every possible downside to the entire situation; dared her to abandon the hope and positivity she'd been living her life by for years.
What if she loses Legacy…and then she shuts you out completely?
There it was, plain a simple. It was the ultimate reemerging of Anna's deepest worry—the absolute worst-case scenario the redhead could fabricate, given that the basis of such an outcome was in part based on truth when considering the past.
Of course, the logical side of Anna's mind told her that this was not the past. That she and Elsa had come incredibly far since then, and that Elsa entirely shutting her out again was an irrational thought to have now that they were together. Because how would the senior—or how could, the senior, for that matter—go from being so willing to open up to Anna this morning, to closing herself off entirely to the redhead in a matter of hours?
Maybe because a loss like this would be devastating for her—and you know that.
It was, indeed, a frightening thought to consider.
"But if you just think about it rationally, in the context of today and not the past…" Anna voiced her thoughts once more, as she grappled between her fully surfaced fear, and logic.
Was it true that Elsa had shut her out before?
Yes, but it was logically very unlikely to happen this time.
Because things are different now, Anna reminded herself. You have to trust her.
Could it take a bit of a longer time for Elsa to open up to her about it fully, though?
Maybe, and perhaps that was the true depth of Anna's worries—seeing as Elsa had made it clear she'd needed more time to come to terms with even the thought of Legacy leaving.
But would Elsa taking longer to talk to Anna about it mean that the senior would stop talking to her entirely, and revert to acting as if Anna didn't even exist, as she had in the start of the redhead's freshman year before they'd really gotten to know one another?
"No," Anna answered her own question aloud, decisively, "Of course not."
And besides, wasn't this all based on the hypothetical scenario that Elsa's parents refused to let her keep Legacy? Anna had thrown herself into this entire inner turmoil of doubt and uncertainty on nothing more than a theory she didn't even know for sure to be true...
And so, instead of continuing to listen what had, for a terrifying moment, seemed to be compelling fears, Anna once more found solace in the one voice in her head that had remained a steady, guiding constant throughout her entire life—the one that told her that she had to keep going, without letting her doubts continue to lead her down a dismal and spiraling path of worry.
She was going to take that next step, and rise above her worries by not giving into them.
She was going to stop revolving around fear, and start moving on with the rest of her day.
And most importantly, she was going to give Elsa the space she needed, trusting that when the time was right, her girlfriend would tell her on her own terms. Because even if it might be difficult…
Anna knew it was the right thing to do.
By the time Anna had changed for her lesson and biked to the barn, she decided that this evening might very well have the potential to set the record for the quickest time she'd ever spent tacking up a horse in her life—because much unlike her essay, the whole 'getting lost in her thoughts' thing had turned into such an absorbing way to spend her time that she was very late in getting to the barn. And Anna knew quite well (and admittedly through firsthand experience…) that Weselton never appreciated stragglers. It would earn her nothing short of an entire warm-up of no stirrup work, and in the semi-drained state the freshman already felt like she was in, that was most certainly not the way she was looking to spend a good portion of her lesson.
Walking quickly to the lesson board and scanning it for her name, Anna found she'd been assigned to a horse she'd never ridden before—a dark chestnut gelding named Ace. And even though it seemed a bit counter-intuitive…Anna's slight unease at knowing she would have to work extra quickly was offset by a little spark of excitement she felt. Getting to know a horse she'd never ridden before was always a new and exciting adventure for the redhead, because while it was true that Anna worked to take care of the horses at the barn so frequently, the responsibilities of feeding, watering, turning in and turning out, and, of course, stall cleaning, differed greatly from actually working with one of those individual horses.
And besides—no matter the circumstances Anna had found herself in prior and despite her time constraint, the one thing that always managed to whisk Anna's apprehensions away for real was being around the horses.
Ace was certainly no exception to that rule, as Anna soon became much more involved in working with the chestnut gelding than anything else. Since she knew very little about his demeanor, Anna decided that instead of tacking him up in his stall as she normally would have with Dee, she would work with Ace on the crossties. And quite the opposite of her favorite little chestnut mare, this placid, easygoing gelding seemed to almost fall asleep on the crossties. Whether Anna was brushing him or putting on the girth, the only thing that seemed to bother him was an occasional fly, which Anna was actually pleasantly surprised about.
Due to the gelding's even-tempered composure (a stark contrast to the moments of sass Anna would sometimes get from Dee while putting on the girth, bridling, or brushing the mare somewhere she decided she did not want to be groomed for absolutely no reason…) it actually took the redhead less time than she thought to have Ace prepped for the lesson. Grateful for this, Anna was able to walk into the indoor arena on time, along with the rest of her teammates.
However, when Anna let her attention shift from Ace to the other horses standing next to both Olaf and Belle, she was momentarily puzzled. And her confusion was mirrored by each of her teammates as they exchanged looks between themselves, their horses, and Anna and Ace.
Had they all been assigned lesson horses they'd never ridden before?
From the looks of it, it certainly seemed that way—which was a little atypical for their instructor, who only sometimes introduced a new (to their group, anyway) lesson horse for one of them every week or so. But to put them all on horses they'd never ridden before all in one lesson? It certainly came as a surprise to all three of them.
When Weselton arrived, though, he indeed confirmed that he had purposely given them all horses that they had never ridden before, explaining, "I know we usually stick with the same handful of horses. But today, since our final show of the season is quickly approaching, I decided we should change it up completely. Because what better way is there to practice for a show where you've never ridden the horse before, than to keep practicing riding different horses?"
Of course, neither Anna, Belle, nor Olaf could argue with that, so as the lesson began, all three started to learn the different characteristics of their new horses.
The first thing Anna learned about Ace under saddle was that the chestnut gelding was, still, much calmer than Dee. And as the redhead was quite used to the feisty mare's silly antics by now, she found that it was actually a pleasant change to not have to be so on guard as she rode.
However…what she learned not that long after was that easygoing didn't necessarily mean an easy ride.
Since Ace was so calm and carefree about everything around him, Anna needed to encourage him to move forward much more than she ever would have had to with Dee—in fact, Ace only moved at a fraction of the high-strung mare's speed with what seemed like three times the amount of effort from Anna. The chestnut mare would respond to the slightest touch of Anna's leg, while Ace needed more than that plus a tap on the shoulder to keep up with the other horses in the lesson.
"There you go, that's a much better pace for him," Weselton approved, as Anna finally got the chestnut gelding's attention during the end of their canter flatwork.
"But remember when you're jumping to not let him get too slow, or he won't have enough impulsion to get over the jump," Weselton instructed once it was time for the jumping portion of their lesson.
Anna merely nodded in reply, a bit too tired at this point to do much else after having to so persistently ask Ace to keep moving so he wouldn't break back into the trot from the canter.
The course was a simple one—an outside line of jumps to a diagonal, and then back around to another outside line. She asked Ace for the canter, and it was straightforward getting him over the first jump. But when he landed, he seemed to lose his focus and forward energy, and everything kind of felt like slow motion to Anna, who at this point was so used to Dee's quick gait that she just kind of gave Ace another tap on the shoulder in hopes of the best.
In doing so, however, she managed to lose track of counting the strides to the approaching fence. With the lack of impulsion and the slightly long takeoff, Anna was launched over the fence with Ace as he took a giant leap to clear the distance. She managed to stay on, but just barely, having lost both stirrups in the process.
"See, Miss Summers—you have to be more forward," Weselton reiterated, "Regroup, and try it again."
And try Anna did, using every last bit of her energy to encourage Ace to have enough impulsion. And eventually, they were able to complete a successful course.
"Well, that was rather painful," Anna sighed once the lesson was over, leading Ace to the door with Olaf and his horse, Lucy, beside them.
"On the bright side, you stayed on," Olaf said.
Still a bit displeased with her ride, Anna found the nagging pessimism she'd felt earlier that evening trying to push its way back to the surface, "I'll…admit I've had a little bit of trouble continuing to look on the bright side, lately."
"How come?" Olaf asked, as they walked their horses down the aisle to the crossties.
"Just…a lot going on," Anna said, deciding not to mention any specifics, although of course her mind was once again inundated with reminders of what she had so desperately tried to reason with before—what she thought she had finally convinced herself to stop thinking about.
Not hearing from Elsa yet.
Olaf nodded, "We've all been there at one time or another. But there's always a bright side if you look closely enough. And I always say that if you can't find one, you make one."
"You do?" Anna replied, stopping mid-removal of Ace's saddle and turning to her fellow teammate instead.
"Sure," Olaf, ever-cheery, answered with a smile, "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll see it when it happens."
Anna sighed, trying to see it how Olaf did, "I suppose…"
And truly—Anna really did attempt to give her optimism a fighting chance to push back against her slowly-returning uncertainties. But as the night continued on, and Belle, Olaf, and even Weselton had left, and it was just Anna who remained with Ace outside of the gelding's stall…distractions became few and far between to keep Anna's mind off of the fact that there was still not even so much as a text notification from Elsa on the freshman's phone, which had remained unnervingly silent, and yet practically glued to Anna's hand since the minute she had put Ace's tack away.
In fact, the redhead would have been lying to herself if she'd said that a little part of her hadn't been so vainly hoping that Elsa would have been at the barn after her lesson tonight, if only so that she would have had an excuse to talk to the senior and ask if she was okay.
You said you would give her space… Anna reminded herself.
She'd already come to the conclusion that it was the right thing to do, and she would continue to respect that entirely, because she cared about Elsa so much. But…it was also because Anna cared about her so much that she just couldn't ignore how she felt about it, even while respecting that it was necessary.
"Because we also said we would do this together…" the redhead said aloud, her words heard only by Ace—
"You're right, Anna. We did say we would do this together."
—or so Anna originally thought.
A little alarmed at first upon hearing the small voice when she'd previously believed she'd been alone, Anna turned abruptly. But as much as it may have initially startled her, it was in no way unrecognizable—as Anna knew far too well who it belonged to before she even had a face to match to the words.
"Elsa," the freshman breathed—the two syllables rushing out in relief upon taking in the sight of her girlfriend, however inconsolable she might have looked.
There, at the end of the barn aisle stopped in front of Legacy's stall door, was the senior. Noticing that Elsa had clearly just shown up, the mare had stuck her head through the door's opening, vying for the blonde's attention even though Elsa's focus was, for the moment, only on Anna. She met the redhead's gaze with blue eyes that had likely shed more than one tear that night, and even though she tried to smile in Anna's direction…Anna knew it was entirely forced.
Leaving her spot outside of Ace's stall, Anna walked quietly over to the senior. She was hesitant to say more, waiting for Elsa to speak first. But instead of saying anything else at all…Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna without saying so much as another word. And even though Anna was a bit surprised that it was the first thing the blonde would have done—as Anna had honestly grown accustomed to Elsa normally remaining somewhat distant until she'd at least sorted through her thoughts with Anna aloud—she didn't show it, instead wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend, letting her know she was there for her.
Whatever you need, I'm here.
Because they were in this together—it was clear now, as she should have realized much sooner. And maybe that…was Anna's bright side. The one that she hadn't seen before; the evident affirmation that they were truly still in this as a team, so that Anna could finally put her irrational worries to rest.
"That's why I'm so glad you hadn't left yet," Elsa said against Anna's shoulder, her words referring to the ones she'd said to Anna moments prior. And they sounded just as relieved as the redhead still felt.
But when Elsa stepped back once more, Anna could see that whatever temporary calm had washed over the senior before was very quickly replaced with uneasiness once more, "And I'm sorry if not hearing from me sooner made you worry. I never meant for you to think I was shutting you out, or closing myself off. We are in this together, and I don't think I could get through something like this with anyone else. That's why I knew I had to tell you today, but the more I tried to word it in a text…the more I thought it would be better to tell you in person."
For a moment, Anna wondered if she'd managed to voice more thoughts aloud…when she remembered that the senior had overheard her saying that they said they would do this together only a minute or so earlier. And as much as the blonde was always affected so deeply by her own feelings and emotions, she most certainly wasn't blind to Anna's—so much so that the redhead was inclined to say that Elsa now probably knew her better than most of the people who had known Anna her entire life. That's why it never should have come as a surprise that Elsa would pick up on the one thing that had been bothering Anna, putting two and two together easily.
The last thing Anna wanted was to confess to the senior that she had, indeed, been worried. But as much as she didn't want to admit it was the truth, if Anna had learned anything in the time she'd gotten to know Elsa…it was that keeping everything inside did a lot more harm in the long run than good.
"It's okay," the redhead said, "I had worried, but I understand. And besides, you're here now, and that's all that matters to me."
The blonde nodded in response, her own worries about that aspect of the situation seeming to fade with each one of Anna's affirming words. Because if Anna had learned anything else from getting to know Elsa...it was that focusing too much on the past was not going to help anything else move forward.
And Elsa—it was very clear to the redhead now—was most certainly not going to shut her out again, or leave her in the dark about what was going on.
"So my parents…" Elsa said, then, and Anna bit her lip in anticipation of the news that was to come, "They said that they don't know," Elsa finally admitted, shifting her focus to Legacy beside her and twisting her fingers through the tall mare's silvery-white mane as she continued on, "And I told them, Anna…I told them everything. I told them how much Legacy means to me, and I told them how tirelessly I've worked to get her to where she is today, and I told them how much I enjoy working with her—how growing with this horse, and learning with this horse has made me so happy…and they tell me…they tell me with no explanation, and no indication that they're going to even actually consider thinking about it…that they don't know."
And Anna's heart hurt hearing those words.
More than anything, now that Anna's optimism had returned quite a bit, Anna wanted to tell the senior that if they didn't know, then they likely were going to think about it. But, looking at Elsa now with her head resting gently against Legacy's own—witnessing the connection that Anna knew very well had grown between the horse and her chosen person…Anna was pretty sure she knew what Elsa was still afraid of.
Hope.
Elsa was afraid to believe that Legacy could still stay because so much had been taken from her before, and because of that, she was already preparing for the worst.
Because it would hurt less when it happened.
And who was Anna, then, to make such a big promise? A promise that Legacy could potentially still stay, when no one in fact knew it to be true?
False hope.
Elsa was afraid…of false hope.
Because it was entirely clear to Anna now that a promise of such magnitude could so easily be shattered by one pivotal decision that was now completely out of her control. The two of them had done everything that they could for Legacy, but now, this was it. There was no training harder, or fine-tuning this, or improving that; no—it was done now. Everything they'd worked for had been presented to Elsa's parents for approval or disapproval, like a pass or fail test, with seemingly no acknowledgement of the effort spent in between.
There was no improving Legacy further in the eyes of Elsa's parents; the only thing that could be altered at this point was their opinion, which Elsa had witnessed in multiple situations before to be entirely unchanging. And only time would tell if Elsa, in this case, would get even the chance to try.
And so, Anna began to realize that maybe what Elsa need most right now was to just let the hopelessness out, to someone who would just sit there and listen.
Maybe a bit like you felt earlier, the redhead reminded herself—except that Elsa's reality of hopelessness was clearly of a much larger proportion.
"I'm…sorry, Elsa," Anna said, although she knew that no amount or depth of her own sympathy could possibly make up for the way her girlfriend must be feeling.
Still not looking in the redhead's direction, her attention still focused on Legacy's long, flowing mane, the senior said, "I just don't think I can do it."
"Do…what?" the freshman asked softly.
"I can't watch Legacy step onto a trailer and know she's never coming back. Just like Storm. I just…don't think I can."
And there it was, right in front of her—the sheer despair in Elsa's voice that proved Anna's entire theory correct: the senior's fear of false hope. Because that hypothetical situation Elsa had constructed in her mind of Legacy leaving, the one she was so transfixed on because it was better to prepare for the pain now than it was to believe Legacy could stay and then lose her anyway…that would be rock bottom, for Elsa. Anna was so, regretfully sure of it.
"So when all I can picture in my mind is that," Elsa continued on, her words coming out as brokenly strung together as the senior looked, "What am I supposed to do?"
Except that question, Anna realized, was a place where she could at least offer a sliver of hope in a small way, without promising something that may turn out to be entirely incorrect. Because even when—no, especially, when—it felt like all hope was lost, there was one thing Anna knew to do that would never lead her wrong. It was the same thing she herself had done earlier, and now, Anna believed it applied entirely, if not more, in Elsa's current situation.
"You do the next right thing," Anna said simply, voicing the words she'd been doing her best to live by the entire day, even when it had seemed incredibly difficult.
"The…next right thing?" Elsa questioned, turning her attention back to the redhead entirely.
Anna nodded, and repeated, "Yes, the next right thing. Even if it seems hard. Even if it seems impossible. You start tomorrow morning and do everything as you would on any other day—you keep taking care of Legacy like you know she's going to stay, and you appreciate every moment with her like you know that she's not…" Anna trailed off here as she collected her thoughts, briefly second-guessing if she should continue on, but ultimately doing so because she believed wholeheartedly in the rest of what she was about to say, "And I know, Elsa…I know it's hard to consider right now that there are still two sides to your parents' current answer; that there is a chance that she could stay, when there's still an even greater chance that she might not, and you're afraid of it ending like it did with Storm. Because you don't know if you'll have the chance to fight for her again. You don't know if you'll have that opportunity, or come up with a new way to change their minds. If there is, then you'll go for it, right? But since you don't know…instead of looking that far ahead…you just need to take it one step at a time. And choosing to take that first step in moving forward again…it is the right thing to do. Because it's all that you can do."
And for the first time that entire night, Elsa actually smiled—it was small, and it was fragile, but it was genuine. Anna watched as the senior placed a kiss on Legacy's velvet nose, and ran her hand gently across the mare's neck before she took a step closer to the redhead.
"Well I certainly feel a little better," Elsa said, which drew yet another sigh of relief from Anna, "Not entirely alright, yet—but certainly better."
"And there's nothing wrong with that, Elsa," the redhead was quick to assure her, "This is a lot to go through. You don't have to be completely okay yet."
"But," Elsa said her small smile still in place as she held the redhead's gaze for quite a few moments before continuing, "I know that I will be okay, eventually. Because either way, no matter what happens…I've got you."
And Anna swore that wrapping her arms around Elsa right after she had spoken those words had never felt more like home.
A/n: Hi all- it's definitely been a little while, hasn't it?
I'd like to start off by saying thank you all so much for your reviews on my last chapter. Hearing all your feedback from your reviews all through the course of this story so far has really meant so much to me!
As for this chapter, it definitely had some inspiration from Frozen 2 (which I did finally have the chance to see, and I loved it!). Anyway, considering that this story was started before Frozen 2 happened, it would certainly be difficult to incorporate all of themes from the movie. But some of them did seem to work, especially since this chapter was still focusing on the decisions revolving around Legacy. So either way, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
I also hope you're all staying healthy and safe with all that's going on at the moment.
And of course, as always, thank you all for reading!
