I'm back ! Sorry for the long wait, but real life gets in the way . Hope you are all staying safe and sane with the quarantine. He's something new. It's not fully done or edited all the way… but I thought you might like a taste. Leave me comments….. please! Tell what you liked, didn't like, thoughts, etc…..
Scarlett felt like she was going to throw up. Her hands were actually shaking as she gripped her steering wheel at ten and two. She had every right to be nervous. She was the reason that Richard had lost his job and was now leaving the country, headed back to England – not to return for the foreseeable future. He had seemed not to blame her. His voice was calm and docile as he asked to see her one last time. Yet she still felt an almost overwhelming sense of anxiety at coming here today.
Rhett had acted stoically when she told him. He seemed so unaffected by her confession that she had to ask him if he understood what she was saying.
"It's over?", he finally asked her without looking her in the eyes. The large vein in his neck pulsed an angry purple.
"Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Then we don't need to talk about it ever again."
She turned the corner onto Lark Road and thought about the last time she had driven this route. She had been angry then. Angry and hurt. After spending what she thought was a blissful Christmas night making love to her husband, she is faced with the reality that he is still in contact with his mistress. This M.S. person. Five other women, she thought. Five.
She told herself that she was going to forget about her - M.S. or Mercy Stratham. The way she stuttered and punctuated her answers with long pauses when she spoke to Scarlett on the phone told her what she already suspected to be true. Scarlett was no fool. She didn't get to where she was by being gullible. She was a businesswoman. People lied to her all the time. And she could always tell. Just as she could tell that Mercy – if that is even really her name – was lying to her.
When Richard had called and let her know he had returned home from England, she reacted as if on autopilot. Her drive to his house that night was reckless. She had been drinking that night, and when he said that he missed her terribly, she gulped down the remainder of brandy in her glass and left.
Richard barely had enough time to open the door before she threw herself at him. Kissing him deeply, pulling at the buttons of his shirt. "Make love to me", she demanded.
She ran her hands through his hair as he kissed the curve of her neck and throat. "Luke's asleep in his room", he said between the kisses.
She licked the outer edge of his earlobe and whispered, "Don't worry. I can be quiet."
They tumbled into his bedroom, shedding clothes and inhibitions in a mad dash to feel each other – skin to skin.
Richard was a tender lover and happily allowed Scarlett to take the lead. He stared up at her as she moved atop him, gazing at the curves of her breasts and her body. And when the moment came that sent spark waves throughout her body he was transfixed by the beauty of her face in that moment. By the way she closed her eyes and threw her head back in surrender. By the was her fingernails dug into his broad chest.
In her mind, Scarlett willed Rhett to somehow see her. To see her astride another man, moving her body in rhythm to his. She pretended he could hear her as she thought, "Watch me, Rhett. Watch him make me come."
As Scarlett pulled up to Richard's house, she spotted the moving pods immediately. She sat in her car for a second; too scared and nervous to move. She contemplated leaving, of taking the coward's way out. She could still just send a text saying that she couldn't meet him after all and wish him the very best in the future. The longer she waited the more that this was sounding like the best thing to do. That was until the sound of a little knock on her passenger side window caught her attention. She looked and saw Luke.
"Hi, Gerry's mom!"
Fuck. Now she HAD to get out.
She smiled a dimpled smile at him as she put her car in park and got out to meet him. "Is Gerry with you?", he asked.
"No, precious. Not today."
"We're leaving". He placed a large purple sucker into his mouth. "Back to London.", he mumbled while gesturing toward the moving pods filled with boxes and furniture.
I know, Scarlett wanted to say. It's all my fault, baby. I'm so sorry.
Her mama instinct came out as she grabbed a wet wipe from her purse and wiped the sticky residue that the sucker had left on his face. "How exciting! I wish I could go to London!"
"Then come with us." Richard's voice seemed so loud in her ears as he spoke. How long had he been there?
She smiled weakly at him. He was clearly in the process of moving and wore roughed up jeans with paint splashes on them and a light grey t shirt. The shirt clung to his upper body and was darkened in places by his sweat. He drew a cloth out of the back pocket of his jeans and wiped his face. Scarlett couldn't help but notice how his shirt rose just enough to show her his lower abdominal muscles. Those delicious muscles that dipped into a perfect v shape underneath; the same ones she liked to trace with her tongue not so long ago.
"Hey Lukie, why don't you go start packing up the books on your bookshelf why I talk to Mrs. Butler for a bit."
They both followed Luke inside the house. Richard motioned for her to have a seat in the sparse living room and went straight to the kitchen. "Can I get you anything to drink?" he called out.
"No, thank you. I can only stay for a minute." She replied. She felt extremely awkward. She sat on a nearby chair and then immediately stood up and then sat down again. Get your shit together, Scarlett, she thought.
Richard returned gulping down a bottle of water. He held out another bottle to her. "In case you change your mind."
"Thank you."
He pulled out a wooden crate and sat on it. Close, but not too close.
"Thank you for coming. I know you said that we should not see each other anymore, but I had to see you one more time before we left."
She nodded her head in understanding.
Scarlett felt the sudden urge to cry and lowered her head in shame. "Richard, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I pursued you. It was me who…."
"Stop." He interrupted her. "Nothing happened that I didn't want to happen. I'm just as responsible for all of this as you. Please don't apologize. What happened between us was meant to happen. I wouldn't change a thing. In fact, if I had to do it again, I'd do nothing different."
She rose her eyes to his and tried to steady her quavering voice. "How can you say that, Richard? You've lost your job, your Visa, everything ", she gestured with her hand to indicate her current surroundings, "because of me."
"It was worth it."
"No."
"It was."
A little sob escaped her throat. The slight sound, so vulnerable and innocent, compelled Richard to take her small hands in his.
"I love you, Scarlett".
Her voice was small-barely even a whisper. "Richard. Don't".
He cupped the side of her face with his right hand and wiped the tears away with his thumb.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you. But it's true. I love you and I want to be with you. And I think you love and want me too. I know you're afraid. I know you and Rhett have built a life together. But Scarlett, can you honestly say that he is what you want?"
"He's my husband, Richard."
Richard leaned closer toward her. "That's not an answer, Scarlett. Can you honesty look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing for me?"
Scarlett suddenly felt weak. She was tired of fighting, tired of digging and clawing her way to get what she wanted – what she needed. The fact was that she did have feelings for Richard. Strong feelings that shook her love for Rhett to the very core. This is why she ended things with him. Not because she wanted more than anything to have her family back together, or that she believed Rhett would change, but because she knew that the longer she was with Richard, the more she wanted him and was willing to throw away the security Rhett gave her and start again.
After that night, months ago, she woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon frying. She touched her swollen lips with her fingertips remembering the previous night and smiled. She stretched luxuriously in the crisp, linen sheets. There were no maids waking her up, drawing her bedroom curtains open and bringing her breakfast trays with coffee and grapefruit. No Cashmere slippers trimmed in fox fur waiting for her to slip her feet into. No dressing room full of designer clothes from the best names in fashion in sizes she basically had to starve herself to fit into. No Carrara marble bathtubs to soak her aching joints in at the end of another stress-filled day. Here was just peace. Simplicity. The sounds of birds chirping, the sight of dirty clothes in a laundry hamper, pocket change on the dresser, and the smell of bacon.
She looked for her clothes only to find that they were gone. She noticed a bathrobe hanging in the master bath and put it on. It smelled faintly of Richard. She smiled as she inhaled the scent of cedar and musk and something that was distinctly his and wriggled her pink-polished toes on the cold bathroom floor. Hers were always heated by one of the maids precisely twenty minutes before she was woken, the perfect temperature for the brief moment she would take off her slippers and stand in her bare feet.
She crept into the kitchen. Richard's back was to her as he flipped the bacon strips over. She walked up to him and laced her arms around his torso. "Good morning", she whispered in his ear. He turned to face her and wrapped his arms around her; pulling her in for a kiss.
"I'm on to you, Mr. Fenton", she teased. "You've stolen my clothes to force me into being naked."
Richard felt the desire in him growing knowing that she had nothing on underneath the fabric of his robe.
"They're in the wash. They shouldn't be done for hours. I suppose you'll have to say here until they're done.
"What shall we ever do to fill our time?", she flirted.
"Your eyes", he said as he noticed them. "They're so red."
He felt his stomach drop at the idea that she was suffering from a hangover and that last night was nothing more than a drunken escapade to her.
She rubbed her eyes like a toddler waking from a nap. "I slept in my contacts last night. I don't usually do that."
"Is that my breakfast?", she asked.
He nodded with a smile. "A full English breakfast for you m'lady."
"How long before it's finished?", she said as she began to pull apart the belt of the robe and give him full access to her body. She wanted him again.
And then…
"Daddy?" Luke shuffled into the kitchen wearing pajamas with little bulldozers on them. The hair on his head stood up in every direction. Scarlett thanked God that she had just had a blowout – or her curly hair would have looked the same way.
Richard and Scarlett quickly pulled apart as Luke climbed his way on top of one of the barstools.
"I'm hungry."
"Breakfast will be ready in a bit. Say good morning to Mrs. Butler."
"Good morning", he yawned.
Scarlett was relived that Luke didn't ask any embarrassing questions about her being there dressed in his father's robe. He seemed to take Scarlett's presence in stride. Maybe he was used to having strange, scantily dressed women in the morning. The thought made her jealous.
They ate breakfast that morning together. The three of them – like the family Richard wished he could give his son. They watched as Scarlett tucked into her breakfast with gusto, both laughing at Scarlett's screwed -up face when she took a bite of the black pudding.
They talked and laughed about silly things that made Luke laugh in a way he hadn't done in a long time. Scarlett asked Luke about school, about his favorite dinosaur, about what he wanted to be when he grew up. If Richard wasn't sure of his love for Scarlett before, he was completely certain now. Seeing her now- the way she was with Luke. The way she cut up his sausage for him when he was struggling. The way she tenderly wiped away the orange juice that had spilled from his mouth and onto his chin.
After the table was cleared, and the dishes washed and put away, she dressed in her now clean clothes and made her way to leave.
She sneaked a kiss from Richard when Luke wasn't looking.
As she was walking out of the door, Luke ran up to her and reached his hands out to her for a hug. Scarlett picked him up and snuggled him close to her chest much in the same way she did her own son.
"Next time you come for a sleepover can you bring Gerry?" he asked.
"Yes", she said, because she already knew there would most certainly be a next time.
"Tell me. Tell me you don't care for me and we'll part ways and I'll never bother you again."
She remained silent. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She wished she never came here. She wished she never met him. She wished she never found out about those women, about M.S. She wished all the trouble with Michael, with the racism claims, with her business would go away. She wished her parents were here. She wished for Mammy, for her baby to not have died, for her daughter not to have autism, to be able to talk to Melly again. Oh, how she wished for Melly. She wished so many things.
Richard came closer to her still. She could smell the saltiness of his sweat, the smell of his lunch on his breath. It was so real, so different from Rhett who was never anything less than impeccable in his dress and person. It wasn't until his intolerance to dairy made itself so obviously known that she had even known him ever not to smell of expense cologne mixed with cigars. He never bad breath or dirty hair or carry an odor of any kind. He was always a silk-screen of a man. He didn't even own a pair of sneakers. And jeans? You must be joking. She thought of herself in much the same way. She manipulated her body and face to look the way it did. She had just as much as a polished veneer as Rhett did. And here before her was something real. Had she ever been loved like this? Real love? The men in her life loved versions of her- if you can even call that love- the real kind that exists between a man and a woman. Charles was never meant to be more than a summer fling. Frank had only wanted her body for one night. Ashley wanted much the same. And Rhett? Who knows what he wanted from her? She could never really be sure.
"Richard. Please."
Richard ran the back of his fingers across the smooth curve of her cheek. "You can't say it because it would be a lie. I know you'll always have something for Rhett. He's the father of your children and the mainstay for most of your adult life. But don't throw away what we have for what you feel in that security. I know I can never give you what he can. I can't cover you in diamonds and furs. I'll probably never own a luxury car or fly in my own private plane. But I can promise you that I will love you forever. That's I'll never leave you for someone else. That I'll do anything in the world for you. Tell me to stay and I will. Tell me not to go and I'll unpack that truck, find another job, and reapply for my Visa. Just tell me."
She tried to speak but no words would come. She couldn't say that she wanted him to leave, because it wasn't true. And when Richard moved forward another inch or so and caught her lips with his own, she surrendered completely, finally allowing herself to be swept away in the arms of a man who loved her for her.
