The pressure on his chest peaked his anxiety as he tried to stand up. The crowd was too thick. People standing shoulder to shoulder so tightly together that he wondered whether this is how sardines felt. He managed to get to his feet although he was pinned tightly. He looked around. Michael Corner and the Patil twins stood around him. Staring blankly ahead.
"What's happening?" He asked, but silence was their reply. He fought to raise his hand to wave it in front of their faces, but they remained statue-still and as emotive as a mannequin. He heard a laugh and a scream and turned. Something was happening in front of all these people, something that he couldn't see.
He was pulled forward by an invisible force, driving him towards the disturbance. He barged and fought his way through the mannequins that seemed to cling to him, holding him back. None of the people gripped him nor acknowledged his presence. However, pushing through them was like wading through syrup.
He caught someone in the face with his elbow and turned around to apologise. Harry stood, blood dribbling from his nose and his glasses broken and askew on his face. There was no reaction, no change of expression.
Neville felt unnerved as he continued towards the front. He fell forward as the crowd parted into a clearing. Stephen and Oliver stood at the front, unpleasant sneers over both their faces.
He lay on the floor looking up at them, waiting for them to strike while he was alone and vulnerable. However, they like the others stood motionless, their eyes glued to whatever event was taking place in the centre of the clearing. It was then that the slap of a whip drew his attention. He craned his neck as he tried to get up.
A circle of robed people stood, wearing their elaborate Death Eater masks, their blank eyes staring out at nothing. He heard the slap again as one of the Death Eaters raised their hand. A string of glowing, red light emanated from the tip of their wand. The figure brought their hand down, and the line followed whipping something in the centre of the circle.
She cried out. Neville felt his blood run cold at the noise as he rose to his feet. He walked towards the Death Eaters and pushed through. They paid him no mind as he stood looking down at Pansy in the centre of the circle. Her skin was littered with red and angry welts where the magic whip had struck her. He swallowed as he watched as another figure raised their hand to repeat. He dove in front of her to shield her from the lash.
He heard the whistle as the cord sailed through the air. He felt it make contact. He opened his eyes in surprise when it didn't make contact with him. He saw the string disappear through his chest and turned in time to see the red welt appear on her abused skin.
He cried out with a dawning terror that he wouldn't be able to protect her. He covered over and whispered to her, hoping that she could hear him. He told her he was there and that it would all be over soon. He told her how much he loved her and how he missed her. The whip continued to strike through him as he held her, offering whatever comfort he could.
A deep rumbling from beneath them roused him, and he raised up to look around. The ground began to shake, rattling crumbs of dirt and stone around him before shaking him off. He looked up as the land of Hogwarts separated into floating islands, ruins and dirt falling off into nothingness beneath them. The bodies of his classmates fell, as Pansy floated away, their faces just as blank as before.
He stood as he tried to jump, but the distance was too far. He landed on the island beneath staring up at the roots and soil underneath.
"So, you still defy me?" Came a hissing voice that echoed around him. He looked around desperately for the source. His panic at boiling point. He spotted the snake and the owner floating towards Pansy's island.
He cried out in desperation, anything to distract them from her. Anything but her.
The snake noticed him, and he cursed as it slithered towards him. Then, it slowly lowered itself down to hang there, looking at him. He heard her scream as Lord Voldemort pointed his wand at her. He laughed as her anguished cries filled the air. Distracted, he forgot about the snake as he tried to find a way to her. The snake was suddenly before him, fangs outstretched and dripping as it found its mark. Neville cried out as he jumped from his dream.
Neville sat up in his bed, soaked from head to foot in sweat as his uniform bit into his skin. During sleep, it had twisted tightly around his body. He gulped in the air around him as the nightmare clung to him like a Lethifold. He fought his heart as it pounded painfully in his chest. He wondered, remotely whether the Carrows had done any damage to it after all the times he had been tortured.
He rubbed at his face as he thought of Pansy, he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to keep the tears at bay. This was why he had been fighting sleep. He seriously needed more coffee. He swallowed as he got his emotions under control. It was still dark outside, but the moon shone in like a floodlight. He pushed his fingers through his sweat-matted hair and shook his head. He wasn't ever going back to sleep after that dream.
He felt around for his wand and started to panic when his hand didn't fall on it immediately. He found it on the third feel and let out a sigh of relief. He cast a Tempus charm and the time flashed at him. Just past three-thirty in the morning. He covered his mouth as he yawned, feeling so much older than his eighteen years.
The temperature had dropped considerably in the last week or two, and the air in the tower was frigid and cruel against his sweaty skin, raising goosebumps along his flesh. He could see the condensation as he breathed. The mist looking thicker and more substantial in the moonlight.
He threw on his dressing-gown and slippers before heading towards the common room, and more importantly, the kitchen. As he padded through the dorms, he heard others whimpering and stirring in their beds and knew that sleep was a necessary evil for all of them these days.
As he wandered down the stairs, he wondered whether the nightmares would ever leave him. He was halfway down when he noticed the kitchen light was already on. He leant forward to look around, knowing that someone was already down.
He saw her in their window seat wrapped in his coat. She sat huddled against the corner, her porcelain face reflecting the moonlight like an ethereal being. The beauty of her stole his breath as he froze just to watch her. It both warmed and stopped his heart, seeing her in his coat. He had forgotten all about it until now. He swallowed the pain down as he remembered his nightmare. She was fine and unhurt. He could drop the guilt that hung around his neck.
He continued to move down the stairs as his brain went into overdrive. Did he ignore her? Did he acknowledge her? Did acknowledging her break her parent's rules? He felt so confused as he wandered towards the kitchen. He wanted nothing more than to join her on the window seat, sharing her warmth as they spoke about inconsequential things.
He stirred his tea as he added the milk. Then, once the milk was away, he went and sat by the fire. He couldn't bring himself to sit on the sofa with his back to her. He needed to make sure for his own sanity that she was still there and alright. So he sat in one of the armchairs parallel. He knew when she noticed him as she half stood from the window. Her bare legs exposed under the coat. Part of his brain wondered whether she was wearing pyjama's underneath. He shook himself as their eyes met.
They looked at each other; all of the words that couldn't be said translated in that one glance. So much sadness and regret for such beautiful eyes to hold. He smiled at her, just a quirk of lips, his way of saying hello, offering forgiveness and explaining how much he missed her. He felt his heart leap as she did the same back. He took a deep breath before her face crumpled. She started to cry, and he did the only thing he knew how, he stood up to go to her, to offer comfort.
He was almost to her when she held out her hand and shook her head. He stopped in the centre of the common room feeling bereft of contact. She wiped at her eyes and shook her head as she tore her eyes from him. She curled back up into her ball and turned her gaze to out of the window. Shutting him out once again.
He stood there for longer than he should have done before turning back to the fire. His blood had turned cold as though his heart no longer warmed him. He sat on the rug before the dying fire and turned his back to the room. He added more wood as he desperately tried to hold his heart together.
He didn't know whether he could put up with this for another ten months. Maybe it would just be better if he left and joined the Aurors. The pain of seeing her and knowing that he couldn't touch her or talk to her was worse than not seeing her at all.
His mind wandered through so many different options and scenarios as he drank his tea and watched as the fire grew. He didn't notice as the sky lightened outside. It wasn't until he heard her move around the common room that he looked up. He yawned before casting another Tempus charm with his wand. It was nearly half four. He stood up, feeling his cold legs ache and complain as he stood up.
He was going to go back to his bed and study. At least if he could get his homework started, he wouldn't have to think about other things any more.
He slowly climbed the stairs back to his dorms, his muscles feeling tight and sore as though he'd been working out in the grounds. As he came level with the portrait, he noticed a black lump of material. He swallowed as he tried to fight the tears that threatened to escape. It was like Pansy had closed the door completely on them. His coat sat in a folded pile by the portrait of Sir Patrick. It was like she was saying goodbye. The last link between them finally gone. He pulled open the sleeping painting and climbed in blindly as the tears began to blur his vision.
Two hours later found him showered, dressed and halfway through his Potions essay. His bed was becoming a dumping ground for cups as the last three coffees had been devoured. The other boys in the dorm were starting to wake up and get ready for the day ahead.
He couldn't believe it had been a full week since he'd spoke to Pansy. His eyes glanced to his coat. When he picked it up, it smelt like her as though she was still there. He found his eyes gravitating towards it more than they should. He shook his head and pulled them back to the parchment in front of him.
He started packing his things up when he noticed that the dorm was going quiet. He guessed it was time for breakfast, not that he was hungry. He threw his robes on and grabbed his bag as he headed towards the portrait hole. The mugs could wait until he returned later if the house-elves didn't get to them first.
He pushed through and was surprised when he was faced with a crowd. He swallowed as he remembered the nightmare, still so vivid in his imagination. They were all looking down, leaning over the bannister to gaze at something below.
He spotted Terry Boot, and he tapped his shoulder. To his relief, Terry turned to look at him.
"What's going on?" He asked quietly as he heard the ruckus below.
"Catfight, I think, that's what Goldstein said." He replied as he craned his neck to see.
He heard a girl growl below and peered over. There were certain times he was happy to have had such a growth spurt during puberty, it meant that he was easily one of the tallest in his year. He leant over the bannister and saw the back of someone's robes.
He wondered which girls were fighting. He thought that most of them got along. Hermione stood a few steps below. He began to thread his way through the jeering crowd to reach her.
"Morning, Hermione," He muttered as he tried to get a better look over the crowd's collective heads.
"Oh, Neville." She said her face creased with worry. "I was hoping you were already at breakfast," She glanced behind her before looking at him.
"Why?" He asked with a frown. He was sure that he could guess why but needed to hear her say it.
"The girls fighting… It's Hannah and Pansy." She said with a grimace. Neville closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We were getting dressed when Hannah said something as she walked passed. Pansy flew at her."
"I need to stop it," He said with a sigh. He did not revel in the idea of getting between two duelling witches, but he couldn't let them fight.
"Normally I would agree, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."
"I can't let Pansy get hurt."
"Believe me, I don't think you have to worry about Pansy." Hermione snorted.
Neville shook his head as he pushed his way down the stairs. He heard some people complain until they saw him and then they seemed to perk up as they waited for the fight to improve.
When he got to the bottom of the steps, he saw Pansy gripping Hannah's hair as she tried to hit her. Hannah was trying to kick Pansy's shins but kept missing.
Whatever Neville had been expecting to see, this hadn't been it. He'd been expecting a magical fight, not a physical one.
Hannah's face was ruddy and swollen where Pansy had obviously gotten a few good strikes in. Blood dribbled from her eyebrow as she kept trying to hit Pansy.
Pansy looked surprisingly unmarked in the scuffle. Her hair was dishevelled, and her stockings were laddered, where a nasty bruise was swelling. Her porcelain features were also red, but Neville suspected they were just as much from anger as they were from exertion
He stood for a moment as he tried to work out how to split them up. He cleared his throat, causing Pansy to look around. It was the wrong thing to do as Hannah advantage of the distraction to push Pansy backwards. Pansy fell hard onto the floor as Hannah landed on top of her.
He'd never really noticed before, but Hannah was shorter than Pansy, but she was stockier. Pansy had more petite proportions, and even though she was taller, her build was more willowy. Hannah began hitting her and Neville was about to step in when Pansy managed to push her off. She straddled the heavier girls body and slapped her hard around the face.
Neville cringed as the slap resounded around the common room. There were a few cringes and winces in sympathy as the people on the stairs continued to watch.
"You ruined everything," Pansy hissed as her voice broke.
"You started it!" Hannah spat out as she tried to protect her face.
"You wrote that letter!" Pansy cried as she hit Hannah again.
"No!" The blond cried as she tried to shield her face from the blow.
"Then how did you know?" Pansy asked, pausing her hand for a moment. "You're a liar!"
"I didn't, someone told me!"
"None of my friends would ever have told you! You wrote it! Admit it!" Pansy screamed.
Neville watched transfixed. He felt like the floor had dropped out of his world. Hannah had written the letter? He wasn't sure she was capable of such a thing. Something niggled at the back of his mind and it clicked. He had noticed something was wrong in the library when she had mentioned Pansy's parents.
"I didn't! Someone get her off me!"
"That's enough." He said numbly as he walked closer. "Come on, get up." He offered his hand, but Pansy ignored it. She slapped Hannah again before she climbed off. She brushed herself off before gripping her wand. He watched and knew she was about to do something. She waited until Hannah was on her feet again before she hit her with a jinx. Neville watched as her face turned hairy and long. Thick wiry whiskers sprouted from the end of her snout as two large front teeth pushed out from under her black, stretched lips. She was hideous.
"Now you're as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside!" Pansy shot back before picking up her stuff and walking towards the door. Neville stood to the side as he watched Pansy open the door to the stars and start her descent.
He glanced back at Hannah, who had raised her own wand. Neville felt like his dream was coming reality as he jumped into the path of the flash of magic. He hadn't heard her cast a spell, but then, rats lips were not designed to enunciate. He had no clue what to expect, but even if it was Avada Kedavra, his actions would be the same. If Hannah caught Pansy, she'd fall headfirst down the stairs.
He heard people scream as the light exploded into his chest. Neville felt the sensation of flying and then nothing as the noises and light disappeared, sucked into darkness.
