Thank you so much to Bamberlee for editing from the beach!

There are two chapters left + an epilogue + one more outtake. Thanks for following along all this time!

Have a great weekend everyone!


The chill is immediate.

I'm unprepared for the burst of cold, and it increases the longer we all stand there. It takes a moment for the sight before me to sink in, and even then, I still blink in disbelief. Before us is Rylan, standing there looking mostly normal, lit up by the warm glow of security lights.

I'd dare say he looks downright angelic.

He doesn't appear cold or even irritated, simply patiently waiting as a few flakes of snow drift down around him.

Adam and I stare at him.

There's a moment of…something, probably uncertainty that he isn't a ghost nor is he the wide-open space Adam wanted me to see, then a flash of joy when we realize he's alive.

"RYLAN!" I yell his name before I can stop myself, and I take off toward him. I hug him without question, grasping onto him like he's been gone years rather than a few weeks. His arms immediately wrap around me as tight as he can, and he stumbles back.

"Sup Eva," Rylan greets me cheerfully, and he smells interesting. Not dirty or like he'd walked back from wherever he was, but oddly familiar. "I'm assuming you thought I was dead," Rylan's voice is heavy with both insult and enthusiasm. "I take it you were not expecting me to come back?"

"Uh, sort of."

I say this against his chest, and I realize his flannel shirt is familiar, too. I lift my head up to look at him, and he smiles.

Knowingly.

"Did you and Adam have fun in Amity? By the way, how are you and Adam? Enjoying life?"

Rylan winks, his dark hair a mess and his boots untied, and he lets go of me to greet Adam. He steps away, examining us quickly, and when he's satisfied we're good, he smiles. I recognize his shirt as one of my grandpa's, his pants as Woody's, and his boots as Forrest's. He's woefully out of character in the brighter colors. There is nothing dark on him, no stiff uniform or hint of Dauntless. While his long hair cements the fact that he probably had no problem passing as someone from Amity, the sight makes me wonder if he'd been in Amity the same time we had.

"I hear you two had a blast. There's a big debate about when you'll be back. Harrison is convinced you're gonna move there."

Rylan keeps talking, chatting away like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. He's acting like he hasn't just been missing for days, like the faction hadn't spent the past two weeks trying to find him, and like he normally was waiting outside in the cold, to be let in the back door of Dauntless.

"Okay, are either of you going to talk? Or are you just going to admire my miraculous return?"

"Were you in Amity?" Adam stares at Rylan with relieved curiosity, but there's some hesitancy hiding in his words. While I'm sure he is happy to see Rylan alive, there is the huge question of where his father is, and why he isn't here. "And yeah, I'm good. Eva and I had fun. Up until Marcus tried to kill us."

The smile slips from Rylan's face, and it's replaced with a flash of pinched annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. I know. He was the last one anyone expected to see again. Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault," Adam responds carefully, stepping closer like he's not sure what to do. The hesitation comes from the unknown, but Rylan catches on quick.

"I bet you have some questions for me."

"Where's Four?"

Rylan and I speak at the same time, and he gestures outside with a bright smile.

"He didn't make it."

"He didn't make it?!" I repeat, pure horror rising up at the confirmation that Four was not alive. "Rylan, what happened?"

"Through security! They stopped him because they didn't recognize him. The beard kinda threw everyone off. I pretended I didn't know who he was, so they questioned him for a while." Rylan looks pleased with himself, but less pleased when he realizes neither of us are laughing. "Oh, come on. I spent almost two weeks with him. I know more about Four's bedtime routine than I've ever wanted to. Let me have this moment."

"So…he is alive, and he's just…stuck at the security checkpoint?" I'm the only one talking, and beside me, Adam looks torn between laughing and punching Rylan.

"Yep. I give him another twenty minutes. All the guys working are newbies and Four doesn't have any form of identification. They only recognized me because I shaved and Four wanted to pretend he was a wilderness explorer..."

"RYLAN ANTHONY…."

His name is cut off by someone shrieking, and it's not just Christina. I turn to the sight of an entire army of Dauntless behind her, rushing toward Rylan the same way they'd rushed toward Adam and me back in Erudite. My mother and father are here, both looking like they'd gotten out of bed on a moment's notice. Jason, striding quickly in our direction, visibly relieved to see his friend. TJ and Quinten, both standing with their arms crossed and big grins as everyone rushes past them. Arlene, struggling between staring at Adam and me or Rylan. Karl, trying to corral a loudly squealing Ethan and Evan, both demanding to see Rylan. Behind them, a row of soldiers spanning further than I can see, along with Molly, and the same guy who took my blood.

Someone must have alerted everyone Rylan was back, because he was getting the same, frenzied welcome we had.

Unlike us, he welcomes it.

"It's lovely to see you all. Thank you for coming out to see if I was dead or not!" Rylan holds his hands up triumphantly, smiling brightly as Karl gives up on trying to control his children.

"You asshole! You could have called me!" Christina yells, her dark hair swinging almost as violently as her fist, and she half mockingly punches him. "You promised me you'd be back in an hour! That was weeks ago!"

"I'm sorry!" Rylan apologizes as she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his chest and doing her best not to sob. "Things got out of hand. My phone blew up before I could call anyone! Four wouldn't let me use his because he lost it!"

His explanation is drowned out by her saying his name over and over, then losing out to Ethan and Evan officially having broken free from Karl. Victory is theirs; they grasp onto Rylan's legs, latching on so he can't move and they push Christina away.

"Welcome back." My father's dry voice rises up over everyone, and he stops beside Adam and me. "Aren't you missing someone?"

"He's outside," Rylan snickers, and there's yelling coming from the distance. "It sounds like he's having a real good time."

"Rylan…" my father says slowly, and he glances at Adam and I out of the corner of his eye. "What the fuck happened? You've been gone for almost…"

"I know. I know, trust me. I'm well aware of how much time I spent with Four. You'll never even believe what happened."

"Try me."

My father relaxes only when my mother grabs onto him, yawning suspiciously and pulling him close to warm her up. "I'm glad you're alive. We were starting to think the worst."

"I was also thinking the worst," Rylan manages to untangle Ethan and Evan from his legs, and he practically knocks them away, then picks them both up. Ethan immediately pulls on his hair in an attempt to gain leverage, and not to be outdone, Evan pulls on his shirt. "The entire time."

He walks over to Karl, and hands him both his children, ignoring their screams of annoyance at being handed back to their father.

"Someone should go outside and rescue Four. I'm going home to change. After that, I'll eat something not made of pita bread. Then, and only then, will I tell you the tale of how I single handedly saved Four's life."

"You're never going to let him live this down, are you?"

Jason's commentary is dry and entertained, and he smirks when Rylan shakes his head, absolutely delighted to be back in Dauntless. Rylan hugs him quickly, looking happier than ever to be back, and his grin is wider than I've ever seen it.

"Never."


"What do you think happened?"

The buzz from before is completely gone, and in its place is total impatient unease. Not for me, but for Adam. I was thrilled Rylan was back. On our walk back into the compound, he kissed the top of my head, told me he was very happy for me, then grabbed Christina's hand and sprinted home. Her yelling at him was fairly humorous; it echoed off the walls and bounced off the ceiling, and I heard him say flannel was not his favorite color and he missed her more than anything.

He also yelled he'd race her home, and if she lost, she had to buy him dinner.

Adam and I walked back inside with my mom. Jason, Karl, and my father went outside to get Four, and we took the twins along with us. The atmosphere quickly turned tense, until my mother suggested she take the boys to Charlotte and told us she'd be right back.

That left Adam and me walking alone. The hallway held an ominous tone, dark and never ending, but fitting for our current mindset. We'd had the fortunate reprieve from Marcus' attack, and days to do nothing but enjoy our time here, but this was real.

Very real.

This was Four and Rylan returning to share the tale of where they'd been, and why Rylan had insisted my father keep the security alert set to high.

"I don't know. I can't imagine where they were for two weeks," I glance up at Adam, realizing his expression is oddly tense. "I'm sure your dad is fine. I bet he'll want to see you."

"He should have told me about Marcus."

His words are sharp. They are pointed and firm and very true. Four should have told Adam about Marcus, even just hinted enough of a warning that Adam knew who he was. He hadn't, for whatever reason he had decided upon, but the outcome hadn't been favorable for any of us.

"Blythe is no better," I remind him, hoping he doesn't think I'm patronizing him. The last thing I want is for him to think I approve of him being left in the dark, because I'd been in the same situation he had. "She wanted me dead, too. I think they both thought they were doing us a favor."

"Yeah, our death would have been the greatest favor of all. Murdered at the hands of our family."

He's a single step ahead of me, but Adam radiates with an anger I recognize and a loathing I understand. The bitterness is the culmination of every angry feeling he's ever had toward his father. Every argument they'd ever been in, every moment of irritation built up until right now.

While I knew Four had done his best raising Adam, it wouldn't do any good pointing it out, nor would it make him less angry. It would be like Adam telling me my father was too worried for my safety, or too in my business.

We both knew these things, just admitting them was easier said than done.

"Adam," I stop in my tracks, and so does he. His head tilts at me, and the look on his face tells me he's not happy at all for this reunion. "Let's just…hear what he has to say. Maybe he's got some brilliant reason why he didn't tell you."

"Are you sure you want to hear how we could have done more? How we should have taken care of ourselves? And Marcus? How we failed?" Adam's voice rises up, and his eyes flash darker than they were a second ago.

The words hurt, because I had thought them myself. I'd sunk beneath overly scented bubbles, into a bath of my own self-pity, thinking I hadn't done enough. It had taken me some time to realize there was no way I could have killed Marcus, not the way things had unfolded. I suppose I could have done more; I could have tried to take him down myself, I could have risked him killing Adam or even me, all for the sake of bravery.

But I hadn't done any of that.

I had done all I could to make sure we stayed alive.

We both had.

We'd done our best, and there was nothing more we could have done to change things. Had we stayed, sticking around in wet snow and dwindling light, our fate would have been much different. We would have wound up trapped in the woods, with no way out, and a man who had no issue killing us.

"Everyone here knows what we went through. If Four wants to talk to us about how we survived, then we tell him what happened. That's it. There's nothing else to say. I worried about that very same thing but really, what other option did we have?"

"He's going to say he would have handled it differently," Adam points out, and his posture changes to something defensive. "He's going to say we were trained for that. Trained to fight against someone trying to kill us and…"

"I don't think anyone trained us to be deceived by your grandfather." I stand up as straight as I can, gaining no real leverage, but it's enough that Adam nods. "I say we show up. Smile. Listen to what happened to him and Rylan, say goodnight, and then you and I go home. Just us."

He doesn't blink. Adam looks at me while he mentally debates something, but he's not as furious as he was a second ago. The reminder that we are an us softens the simmering rage. Finally, Adam smiles, a heavy one that tells me us going home together is the only thing he's happy out, and he eventually agrees.

"Alright. Lead the way. I don't even know where we're supposed to go."

His words slip right past me, carried away by the chilly breeze that Jason swore was a ghost lurking in the hallway.


Of course, Rylan makes everyone meet at Clyde's.

It takes an hour for everyone to show up. Rylan arrives looking like his normal self; he's showered, washed his hair, changed out of the flannel shirt and work boots and instead thrown on a dark t-shirt, dark pants, and a pair of unlaced shoes. His hair is twisted back up and out of his face, and his eyes gleam with a mischievous glint that means we're in for quite the story.

Christina looks better, too.

She sits next to him looking less stressed out, and she busies herself by asking Adam and me if we've tried the guacamole dip.

She, too, returns to her old self, gasping dramatically when I tell her we haven't.

Next to me, Adam is impatient.

There's a heavy dread that builds the longer we sit there, and I understand Adam's avoidance of seeing Four. He didn't particularly enjoy either of us: Adam had pissed him off by refusing to speak to him once he didn't have to, and I had pissed him off by being the person Adam wanted to be with. I wasn't nervous to see Four, nor did I think he would say anything to me, but I felt a mirrored anxiety that he and Rylan had been gone for weeks because of us. The situation wasn't good any way you looked at it, and there was a high chance we'd be blamed.

By the time my parents arrive –my mother wearing my father's jacket and a pair of leggings and my father looking like he'd much rather be going home – I'm ready to leave. I try to distract myself, taking a sip of the gingery drink we'd ordered, and I pretend that Adam kicking my foot is because he wants my attention and not because he's nervous.

I smile reassuringly, but my attention turns to my father, scowling as he surveys the table.

"Where the fuck is he? Just because he almost died doesn't mean I have all day to wait for him." My father sits down next to me, trapping Adam and I from escaping. He takes up most of the space, then yanks my mom against him and demands she call Tris.

"They're right there. They were behind us the whole time, but you were too worked up to notice," my mother answers him dryly, her lips turning up as she points past a few tables. Adam and I look where she's pointing, and there they are.

Four and Tris, walking into Clyde's.

I squint at them, half expecting Four to look worse than he does. He doesn't look great by any means. Exhausted is too slight a word to describe the look in his eyes, and aggravated is just as weak. He walks with his shoulders up high, and his stare straight ahead. His mouth is set in a thin line, and his hair is longer than I remember. There is no smile or even recognition that we are here, until he realizes we are sitting by my parents.

His eyes land on us –happy and alive, no longer bruised or bloodied –and there's a hint of disbelief to his stare.

I feel it at the same time Adam does.

His hand finds mine, grasping my fingers so tight it hurts.

Luckily for us, Jason slaps Four on the arm, gingerly, then pushes him toward a seat away from Adam and me. "Welcome back, old man. Meghan is sleeping, but I know she'll be thrilled to hear you're alive. She sends her unconscious regards."

Jason sits down in the chair closer to us, forcing Four and Tris into the one next to him. He steals a glimpse in our direction, then flashes them a wide smile as he pretends he isn't putting space between Four and Adam.

"He doesn't care. Four hates everyone right now. Except for me." Rylan snickers as he drops into the seat beside Four, and he tilts his chair back so far it looks like he's about to tip over. "Should we tell them?"

"Rylan, it's not…" Four starts to speak, and but he's cut off by Lucy dropping off waters. She has someone helping her, and they work fast to make sure everyone has something to drink. "Look, what happened was a mistake and we handled it. We're both alive, Marcus is no longer a threat, and if everything goes according to plan, the factionless will leave everyone alone."

"Were the factionless a concern?" Christina looks at my mom, then my father. "I thought you were looking for Peter and Marcus."

"We were. Four is just trying to sound cool. I'll tell you what really happened. Make sure you pay attention, because I'm not telling you twice." Rylan ignores him when my father rolls his eyes, and motions for him be quiet. "Okay, let me set the scene."

He pauses, and Four sighs heavily.

I have a feeling he'd been subject to Rylan's dramatics for quite some time now, and he was over it.

"After a brilliant and challenging day with me overseeing the training class, there was an issue. Minor, at best, but still a problem. An attack of sorts, on my goddaughter. She fought hard, but ultimately, it was decided Eva would stay in Amity and Adam would return to Dauntless. This didn't bode well with either of them, seeing as how they were destined to be together. Torn apart by an evil villain and an even more evil side kick, they spent a few measly hours away from each other. Undeterred by their love for one another, Adam made the decision to return to Amity to be with his one true love."

"RYLAN…"

My father looks ready to clock him, but Rylan smiles sweetly.

"Don't worry. Forbidding angsty parents play into this, too."

"Just tell us where you were." My father is practically growling at him, but everyone else is trying not to laugh.

"Wait, no I'm liking this story. Rylan, do go on." My mother fully encourages Rylan, gesturing for him to continue. "We all know Adam went to get Eva. But then what? What happened to you and Four?"

"Thank you, EVERLY, my favorite Coulter. So anyway, Adam leaves. He tells his dad off, hops on a train, and arrives in the inviting and heavily populated Amity faction. Where he's observed by several people. Not just Harrison. Not just the people trying to get all the cows inside. By fucking Peter."

"Peter?" There are a few people who say his name, and Rylan nods.

"Lurking in the woods, realizing he has a chance for revenge where Jeremy failed. Because Adam is not looking for Peter or someone hunting him down, he's looking for Eva. He finds her. They reunite, Harrison claims it was very romantic, and they get to spend a week in Amity, having fun, lighting stuff on fire, going sledding, and not listening to everyone whine about how cold it is. Then on a dark stormy afternoon, Four gets a call and he thinks it's a prank. Despite her kind and gentle nature, he thinks Eva is messing with him. Still pissed off over Adam's insubordination and determination to marry Eric's daughter, Four is on edge. Even more so when he thinks Eva said the word Marcus."

"Eva…" Four says my name, and our eyes meet. They are nothing like Adam's; they hold a similar speck of regret and I have a feeling this part of Rylan's story doesn't paint him in a very flattering light.

He doesn't finish his sentence. He looks away when Rylan keeps talking and he exhales sharply when Lucy bumps into him.

"Four and I decide to go investigate. I volunteer, because I am bored. Little did I know, I should have stayed here. Anyway, we drive out to Amity, leaving Eric and Jason to look at the cameras. By the time we reach the border, Eric is hysterically yelling in my ear. Full on melting down, worse than the time he lost Everly to Evelyn. Turns out, it was Eva calling and she did say Marcus. Eric informs us half the cameras are down, but they saw Eva and Adam by the Dome. By the time Four and I get there, we think we're about to save the day. We see a set of footprints. We see some tracks. We decide to follow said footprints into the woods, but at some point, we go the wrong way. The tracks split; we go left, Adam and Eva had gone right."

"So you were there when we were?" I lean forward, and Adam's knee knocks into my leg. "Did you hear us?"

"Unfortunately, no. I thought we were, but the timing was off. We followed the tracks into the woods until we found a river. I said we should turn back. Four said we should keep going. He believed if Marcus had you, he'd want to hurt you both. So, despite the fact that it was dark and hard to see shit, we continued on. We made it down this hill, down into a valley, right into a factionless camp."

"A factionless camp? Did they attack you?" My mother stares at Rylan and Four, and she looks pretty stressed out. "I thought they'd been quiet lately."

"They have been quiet. At first, they didn't pay much attention to us. Until they realized we were looking for someone. If you remember, we cut down on how many people we make factionless. Despite that, there are still a great number who live outside their chosen faction. Jeremy had a whole fucking family living out there. Marcus had a weird support system of people who believed he knew what he was talking about. Peter, the worst person in the entire world, had friends. Who would have thought?!"

"Rylan, just…get to the point," Four mutters, and he uncrosses his arms when Lucy returns with plates of garlic bread.

"They weren't happy to see us. Jeremy hadn't returned, because Harrison nearly killed him. Peter had been working to build his own army of idiots and most were trained to attack at the sight of anyone in a Dauntless uniform. Marcus had told them all Four enjoyed seeing them factionless and thought they deserved it. So they did attack, and let me tell you, while I still believe myself to be in fantastic shape, it was a lot harder to fend off a dozen men coming for my throat than I remember."

"How did you get away?" I look over at Adam, and he's staring at his glass. "Did you shoot them?"

"Yes," Rylan emphasizes the word. "And to our surprise, they were armed. They had all kinds of guns they'd scavenged. Jeremy had taken a few with him, there were some they bought at the market, some they found or took when they attacked our soldiers. There were a few times I thought I would die. My entire life flashed before my eyes, and I realized I hadn't even seen Eva get married yet."

"The guns are sold at the market?" There's a flash of horror, hot and quick, that someone could just buy a weapon there, and less that Rylan is concerned he hasn't attended my wedding.

"People will find them however they can. There are a few men and women from Dauntless and plenty who aren't so honest. We inventory ours frequently, but they're discarded when they're deemed unusable. It's not unlikely they repaired them." Rylan answers, and he takes a large bite of the garlic bread. "Shit, real food. This is so good."

"So you killed them all and then what?"

"Not all. There were families there," Four answers slowly, and he hasn't touched anything in front of him. "We took out the ones who were armed and trying to kill us. Some surrendered, offering to help if we didn't kill them. Unfortunately, we had both been shot and we were outnumbered by the ones who wanted us dead. Rylan had been stabbed in the arm and they forced us into the river. We crossed at a shallow point, but then were stuck on the other side while they continued to shoot." Four speaks evenly, and he only looks at Rylan when Rylan makes an unimpressed sound. "Okay, it wasn't that shallow, but we got across. This was my idea, not Rylan's. It turned out to be a mistake, because they flanked the riverbank so we couldn't get back. So we walked along the tracks, in the dark, until we found somewhere to cross back."

"How the hell are either of you alive?" My father barks at them, not at all touching his water or the bread. "Eva and Adam nearly froze in the river."

"Oh, it gets better. So much better." Rylan makes a face, and he quickly orders two hamburgers, a steak, and a side of macaroni and cheese. "We did almost die. At a certain point, I was starting to see things. I had long thought the cold never bothered me but, anyway, it did. My feet hurt. My vision was blurring. Four was speaking Japanese."

"I was asking you if you were okay. In English." Four grits out, and Rylan ignores him.

"We would have died, but I realized we were almost to the very outskirts of Amity. It wasn't great news, because the faction is huge. In my weakened state, we made the decision to head back toward the faction. We went right through the river, again. By the time we thought we could see the houses, we could barely walk. It was dark, there was too much snow, and everyone was yelling. Four finally pointed out we were back at the factionless camp. Faced with either trekking back through the snow and facing death or staying there, we chose to stay there."

"We didn't so much choose as we passed out." Four interjects, and he shakes his head. "I made sure Rylan wasn't going to bleed to death, and he made sure to let me know where I ranked on his friends list."

"Ironically, he's fourth," Rylan adds. "Eric. Jason. Karl. Then Four."

"Because of the attack, the factionless had fled. It wasn't the safest option, but we figured we'd stay until morning and see how we felt. Neither of us were in any shape to be walking anywhere, and it was shelter out of the snow. We were on edge thinking Marcus would come back, but we didn't have a choice. We spent what we thought was two or three days just…trying to survive. Ate whatever they had, which wasn't much. Drank whatever we could find. When Rylan's arm stopped bleeding, we figured we'd head back into Amity. We made it all the way to Harrison's house, only to find no one home. We left, figuring we'd have better luck if we went back to Dauntless. We were trying to find someone to drive us back, but Harrison had put the faction on lockdown. He was convinced Marcus was still out there, and if the faction wasn't looking for Adam and Eva, they were at home with their doors locked."

"Weird, but understandable." Rylan muses, and he looks at my mom. "So, this part gets a little crazy, but bear with me. We walked all the way to the dome. No one. All the way to the stables. No one. All the way up the stairs, to the shitty old office. No one. We tried to connect on the computer, but it didn't work. Wouldn't dial, wouldn't even connect. By this time, Four was losing his patience and his charm. We argued. It wasn't pretty. He insulted me, left and right."

"I apologized. I said it was the fact that we hadn't really eaten in days, and Amity was a ghost town," Four answers defensively, and his stare is glued to the table. "We finally ran into Harrison when we walked outside. He took us back to his house, where we found out Eden had taken care of Marcus."

"What!" This time, my mother's gasp is louder than Christina's. "My mother? Marcus was there?"

"Yeahhh, that's a really fun story you'll want to call her about. According to Eden, after Eva and Adam went missing, Marcus came looking for Harrison. Instead he found her in the kitchen, making pancakes. She told us she had a bad feeling the first time she met him, but this time, he was so enraged that she thought he was going to kill her. So she hit him in the head. By the way, she sent a cast iron skillet for Eva. Said it'll come in handy." Rylan's eyes light up, and he beams at me. "Anyway, your grandma is badass. She didn't want to kill Marcus completely, since she was acting on a hunch. So, she hit him with all the force she could, then called Harrison to come home. Harrison took care of the rest."

"So you two just…hung out there, and no one thought to call us?" I ask what I believe to be a logical question, but Rylan makes a face.

Four sinks lower in his chair.

"Four lost his phone in the river. Mine exploded during the battle with the factionless. I thought we'd borrow Harrison's, but there was no time. Once Eden realized we were injured, we were treated to the finest Amity medical care one could experience. I'm talking all of it. Herbs, potions, lotions, witchcraft, and a voodoo doll made of Four's hair that was used to try and rid him of his demons."

"Eden was kind enough to make sure we were alright, and not in dire need of medical attention," Four interrupts testily, rolling his eyes and I'm somewhat amused by this turn of events. I didn't always believe in whatever my grandmother was cooking up, but she knew a lot more than Four thought. "Once she was sure Rylan wouldn't lose his arm, and that neither of us were suffering from the cold, she and Harrison arranged to have us come back here. It was then, and only then, we learned we had been gone almost two weeks."

"So you're saying Rylan's arm could have rotted off?" Jason leans in, and his smile is highly entertained. "Nice."

"No, not nice, Jason. I need both of them, thank you very much." Rylan retorts, and he swings his gaze over to Adam and me. "We also learned Adam and Eva were golden. They'd made it away from Marcus and all the way to Erudite and had been in the care of Daniel. Which did not please Harrison."

"We couldn't get back to him. We were on the other side of the train tracks," I answer, and I notice Four looking at me very intently. He's still not smiling. He doesn't seem to find any of Rylan's story funny, nor does he look happy to be back. "We almost died getting on the train, and somehow made it to my grandpa's."

"You're lucky. It was so cold out there I thought we'd freeze to death for sure. Eden and Harrison were quick to let us know you were both okay."

I smile at Rylan, but something nags at the back of my mind.

"What about Peter? And Marcus is…?"

"Dead," Four answers flatly. "Harrison took out Marcus once he went after Eden. From what Eden told us, Marcus and Peter got into it in the woods over who got to deal with Eva and Adam. When we saw Peter, he'd been shot. It wasn't fatal, until we took our turn."

"The only way he's coming back here is as a ghost!" Rylan exclaims, and he's delighted when Lucy drops off his macaroni and cheese. "So now, everyone is safe. The factionless know better than to fuck with anyone related to Eric or Four, the families that were there fled, and we are back home alive and mostly well. Day saved."

"So now what?" Tris finally speaks, having been silent this whole time. She and Four don't look as pleased to see each other as one would think. In fact, she's sitting with her arms crossed, and her stare is somewhere between Adam and the large deer skull bolted on the wall behind us.

"Now…everyone is free to celebrate. Adam and Eva can live happily ever after, Four can get his hair cut, my arm will heal just fine, and Eric won't have to worry that someone will kill his daughter. Unless you want to bring up Blythe, but we think she's too scared to do anything now. She probably figured that out when Jeremy failed his murder attempt."

"I see," my dad answers Rylan slowly, thinking while he talks. "Are we following up with all this? The factionless? Harrison? Eden?"

"I would think so. I thought we could send some patrol squads out there. Remind the factionless what is really going on. Do some damage control. Bring Eden a cake or something for keeping all my limbs intact. What do you think Four?" Rylan swallows down a large bite of his mac and cheese, and patiently waits for him to answer. "Or are you still bitter that all this happened?"

Everyone turns to look at him. He's still looking at me, but he glances over at Rylan when he speaks.

"I'm not bitter," Four responds, and his tone turns sharp. "But it could have been avoided. Had Adam stayed here, no one would have gone after him and Eva. Eva would have been fine with Harrison, but by going to Amity, they made themselves targets. These past two weeks were completely unnecessary. Both of them were trained as soldiers, and both failed to listen to anything they were told. Instead, we had soldiers out trying to find them, soldiers patrolling through factions for no reason, and men and women on a man hunt for someone who was already dead."

And there it is.

The blame I'd been expecting.

It's just as gut wrenching as I thought it would be, maybe more so.

I'm not the only one thrown off by this. The entire table falls silent as no one says anything in response. Everyone looks anywhere but at Four in hopes he'll say something else, something less angry. but they wind up staring at Adam and me. Adam shifts in his seat, then slowly drops his hand away from mine and tilts his head like he's thinking this over.

"You really think this is our fault?" Adam's voice mirrors his fathers, and my mother and Tris exchange a heavy look. "You think I should have just stayed here? That if I hadn't gone to see Eva, that none of this would have happened? That Eva and I were trained to take down Jeremy and Marcus?"

"Yes."

"Marcus could have found them anywhere," my mother shakes her head, and my father sits up straighter. "He could have come here. Same thing with Jeremy. He got right next to the training class, so close he touched Rachel. Marcus could have done the same. It might have been worse had it happened in their home faction."

Four is silent.

His eyes stay on the knot in the worn table, and he shrugs. "Orders are orders, Everly. You and Tris know what happens when you don't listen to a direct command."

My mother blinks.

Her whole expression shifts, losing its sympathetic smile and turning defensive. "I was eighteen, Four. The same age as Eva and Adam. And you know what, I'd do it all over again. If the person I loved was in trouble, I'd go looking for them without hesitation."

"Eva wasn't in trouble. She was with her grandfather, who's also trained to handle such a situation."

"Four…" my mother snaps his name and in a rare moment of losing her patience, she looks livid. "If it had been Tris, you would have gone without a second thought."

"Everly, it's fine," my father barks. He's not so much trying to soothe the situation, as much as he's taking everything in, cataloging this for later. "Four must have hit his head while he was in Amity. That's the only reason why he could possibly be upset over his son leaving Dauntless to go find Eva."

He glances over at me, then back at Four.

"I know being stuck in Amity wasn't ideal, but we were assuming the worst. We had alerts out to every faction looking for you."

"Harrison said he'd call," Four mutters. "He's far busier than I expected him to be. He said he'll be by this week sometime."

"I have a question. Since you think this is my fault, why didn't you ever say anything about Marcus?" Adam's voice is louder than before, strong and burning with anger. "Why didn't you tell me I had a grandfather out there, just waiting to kill me?"

"He's no grandfather. He was never even a father," Four answers darkly. Beside him, Tris' expression changes. Panic lurks beneath the surface as she reaches for him, looking stunned when he shakes his head. "Had you listened to me, none of this would have happened. There would be no need to talk about Marcus and no need for Rylan and me to have been trapped together in Amity."

A seat away, Rylan chokes on his mac and cheese. He coughs, then coughs harder when Christina hits him on the back to help him. "So, you're saying you didn't have fun with me?"

"No."

"Four, that's not fair," my mother looks confused, but determined to talk some sense into her friend. She leans toward the table as my father stares down Four. "We didn't tell Eva about Blythe, because we didn't think Blythe would ever try anything. That was a mistake on our part, a huge mistake. But Eva and Adam didn't know who Marcus was and it turned out much more dangerous than anyone thought. All Adam is saying is that if he had known who Marcus was, they wouldn't have gone with him."

Four looks at her, but his expression is unreadable.

"You really can't blame them. They were trying to help someone who asked. Everyone in Amity helps each other. They'd have no reason to be suspicious of someone asking for a favor," my mother continues, and I silently thank her for sticking up for us.

I have a feeling it's not enough.

"I warned Adam that Eva was trouble…" Four looks right at me. "I told him to stay here and he could wait until she came back."

I nearly drop the drink I'm holding.

"I'm trouble?" I repeat, totally caught off guard. "I didn't do anything! I was attacked in the woods and told to stay in Amity. I didn't call Adam and ask him to come see me. I didn't know who Marcus was, either. I went with Adam to try and get him away from Marcus. I got us to Erudite…I took us to my grandpa... I…"

My defense is cut short.

"He was told to stay here. He disobeyed direct orders."

Four's answer is flat, and I'm surprised Adam hasn't leapt across the table yet. He's staring at his father with an expression of pure and utter loathing, and it doesn't lessen when Four keeps talking.

"All I'm saying is, things are fine, but none of this would have happened if you two had listened."

"Are you serious right now?" My father stands up, knocking my mother out of the way, and I'm reminded why people are afraid of him. His stare is dark enough that Four looks away, and his hands are balled into fists. "You have a lot of nerve to call my daughter trouble."

"He went looking for her…"

"You can't truly be this dense." My dad points at Four, and my mother stands up, the action frantic as she predicts what's coming. "You dare think all this happened because of Eva? Because if you do, you've got another thing coming."

"Four, just stop. None of this is good, we know. But blaming Eva or even Adam for leaving…that's not right." Tris stands up, too, but she's not holding on to Four. She looks irritated, and he looks surprised at her expression. "You're talking about Adam like he's some random soldier. He's your son. We've considered Eva part of our family since day one. You're about to ruin everything you have because you think you know what Adam should and shouldn't do."

"Tris, he left…"

"Because he wanted to make sure Eva was safe. You would have done the same for me." Tris' voice takes on a pleading tone, and my mother takes hold of my father's hand. They look at each other, my father staring down at my mother and my mother staring up at him, and she nods slightly

"Four…" Tris keeps talking, sharing some quiet logic that Four is ignoring, and the situation takes a turn for the worse when he refuses to give in. Adam scoots closer, so close I can feel him breathing, and I have the urge to stand up and leave.

This could not be happening.

In my heart, I had thought things might be sticky when Four returned. I knew he would think that we caused this, but I didn't expect him to come right out and blame us. His anger was even at both of us; me for existing, and Adam for leaving when he told him not to.

"We all know you would have done the same thing." Tris repeats softly, but it only makes things worse.

"I would have realized what I was being asked to do." Four snaps, and his eyes flash. "None of you are upset at this? None of you think this could have been avoided? Everyone is fine with how this went down?"

"Take the week off, Four. When you're done suffering from your little excursion and the lingering trauma of your childhood, you and I can talk. Until then, you leave my daughter alone. Actually, you leave both of them alone. If you saw them when they were in Erudite, you wouldn't be blaming them for anything." My father speaks evenly, his voice so stern that even Rylan winces. He catches my eye, and I realize Four must have said a few things while they were in Amity. "Eva, Adam, we're leaving. I suggest you head home as well. Rylan, enjoy your dinner. We'll celebrate tomorrow. Tell Lucy to charge my card for whatever else you want to eat."

"Sure," Rylan answers, trying to force some joy back in his voice, but he looks crushed. "Okay, well, that's not how I was expecting this to end. I guess I'll see you all tomorrow…"

The celebration comes to a screeching halt.

Christina whispers something to Rylan, her head bent toward his and her voice soft, and his smile is pretty glum. Lucy arrives to drop off his food, confused as everyone stands up.

"Um, are you guys done?"

No one answers her. My mother and father gesture for us to follow them, and Lucy tries to figure out if we're leaving.

We are.

We could stay and sit here, trying to explain ourselves or what had happened, but it won't do any good. Before Tris can tell Lucy what's going on, Four stands up and storms out. He leaves Tris standing with my mother, looking miserable as ever.

My mother says her name, but Tris is quick to tell her it'll be fine.

"I'm going to go talk to him. I'll see you tomorrow," Tris smiles, and it's pained. Her expression stays in my mind the entire walk home, right up until the moment Adam unlocks our door, and I realize Adam hasn't said a single word since we left Clyde's.

Only my father did, loudly announcing things would be better in the morning, and if they weren't, he'd personally handle them.


"He's wrong."

I announce this firmly, determined to fix this in the next hour.

Adam looks up from beneath me, his eyebrows knitted together. I'd been lying with my head on his chest, and my fingers tracing the outline of the muscle he'd worked hard to build. He'd been absolutely silent since we got home. He took a shower, threw on the first pair of boxer briefs he found, and went to bed. I half expected him to say something, anything, but he didn't.

He was staring at the ceiling when I climbed into our bed, and his eyes were heavy.

"It's not your fault, or mine that Marcus was there. Or, okay say it is. Maybe you should have stayed here and waited for me to come back. Maybe I should have come back here. But none of that matters now. All that matters is we're alive. Why doesn't he see that?"

"He doesn't want to," Adam finally responds, dull and unhappy. "It's not what he would have done, therefore it's wrong. This, right here, has been my entire life. One wrong decision after the other."

He turns to look at me, locking his eyes on mine until his soften.

"Not you, Eva. You are the only one who believed in what I was doing. Even when I was wrong you didn't throw it in my face. I led you right into the woods and you still wanted to be with me. You never once reminded me this was my fault."

"I wouldn't, because it's not," I shake my head, and I rise up on my side. Adam's hair is still damp, dark against the pillow, and even darker against his skin. "What happened was a mistake. A mistake anyone would have made."

Adam nods, but his gaze is a million miles away. "Would your dad have been that upset if you had made it?"

I pretend to mull this over, knowing Adam had seen my father angry a few times. It was never aimed at us; he mostly got pissed off over insubordinate soldiers or someone screwing around and how it affected him. He was terrifying to those who didn't know the extent of what he was capable of. The idea of Eric Coulter was often scarier than the actuality of Eric Coulter, but he was quick to follow through when the faction needed to be reminded of him and his authority.

Still, he wouldn't have blamed me. I could have gone to Blythe's house for dinner and his only rage would have been from his own negligence in revealing who she was and that I didn't tell him I was going.

But he wouldn't hold it against me.

"No. He might have been upset that I was in trouble, or if I'd given up, but he wouldn't think to blame me. Or be mad I was alive when I could have died."

My answer is the confirmation he needs. Adam shrugs, and his fingers touch my jaw, then my ear, curling to pull me back down to him.

I move toward him willingly, until my forehead touches his, and his exhale is so heavy I feel it in my bones.

"That's what I thought."


A day later, I sit at one of the less popular coffee shops at an ungodly hour.

I yawn into my drink, something sweet and warm and made with absolutely no enthusiasm by the man with so many piercings I lost count. My plan to come down here was a good one, but it had me up much earlier than I wanted to be. I'd left Adam half asleep, one arm thrown over the empty space where I'd been sleeping, and a sulky look on his face when he found the sheets to be a poor substitution for me.

Unfortunately, nothing was any better. A single day had passed since Four returned, and those twenty-four hours might as well have been an eternity. Each one felt heavy; I kept checking my phone in hopes that my father would announce Four had changed his mind, and Adam distracted himself by watching every episode of the vampire documentary he could find. There was no word from any of our parents, only Rachel and Aja, furiously texting us to let us know they'd seen Rylan skipping around the compound, away from an area suspiciously out of power and even more suspiciously being evacuated.

It took my mind off Four's return for a minute, but not long. When the memory of his words came back, I tried to look on the bright side.

There really wasn't one.

So, I decided that while no news wasn't necessarily good news, I had other things to worry about.

Namely, my uncle.

I hadn't seen Zander since returning to Dauntless, and his absence was as noticeable as Kat's. Their whirlwind romance was rumored to run deep; Rachel had updated me that she still was convinced Zander was going to see Kat, and Kat was still nowhere to be found. Whatever was going on between them was now intensely private. The two of them were existing in their own world, much like Adam and me, but I decided enough was enough.

Zander was my uncle, and no matter who he was dating, I still wanted to know he was okay.

Which meant camping out at his favorite place to get his caffeine fix. He preferred the darkest coffee shop we had, with the most indifferent but interesting looking members working here. So far, I'd counted three mullets. Two ironic, one not. Twenty-nine different tattoos, and one man crowing about how he was getting his shins done later today. A guy with large, heavy bolts through his eyebrows, horizontally, giving him a permanent, frightening expression as he passed out drinks. A girl with hair braided in large loopy sections, then twisted up to create multiple buns. Her shirt was see-through, revealing a neon yellow bra and a chest piece that appeared to be an octopus taking down a pirate ship, with a heart above it.

The one in charge was the most normal looking of all: his hair was nothing crazy, a standard buzz cut in case he was called into battle, but his entire body was covered in tattoos. He was taller than anyone I'd ever seen before, but he appeared friendly.

Friendlier than the others.

Still, I knew Zander loved this place. He fully believed this was the coolest coffee shop ever. Ironically, it wasn't anywhere my father would step foot, but it was still Zander approved.

I start to grow impatient when the moms of Dauntless show up, and I watch them with mild interest. The baristas don't look like they enjoy them, but they take their points without much complaint, and the moms look super happy to be in such a hip establishment. A few comment that it's dark in here, and one says that's good, because she's pretty hungover after their girls' night out.

When they step to the side, Mr. Metal eyes the blondest one with great scrutiny, and his sneer tells me he doesn't think they belong in here, nor are they strong enough to sip his lattes.

None of the women waiting worked any of the patrol routes or outside jobs, and most worked either in the offices, shops, or in administration. I faintly recognize one from the place I bought my boots, twirling her hair and bouncing her baby on her hip. She talks with her friend, a woman with purple hair so vibrant it hurts my eyes, and they discuss how Charlotte's class is currently full, and how unfair it is that she wasn't even accepting anyone on the wait list.

The metal laden man makes her drink while also listening, then kindly informs her Charlotte will be on maternity leave soon, and the substitute teacher might take more kids. He goes on to explain he has three of his own, and I idly wonder if his toddlers are as pierced as he is.

Or if they all have mullets.

Right before I die of boredom, Zander plunks himself into the empty chair across from me, and my eyes widen.

Not because I'm thrilled to see him or because I've missed my uncle more than anything.

Because he looks like crap.

"Hey, Eva. I uh, I heard you were back. Sorry I didn't come see you sooner."

His voice is as rough as his appearance; there's more than a hint of a hangover there, and the shadows under his eyes tell me this isn't a new development. He looks tired, exhausted even, and the only thing passable about him is his haircut. It's freshly trimmed, shaved only on the sides and long in the back. Everything else is rumpled, halfway buttoned, and looks like it had been on the floor for a few months and he was wearing it because he ran out of clean laundry.

Which reminds me I'd completely forgotten his shirts back in Amity.

"You look awful." I grasp my drink tighter, catching his immediate frown. "Sorry, that was rude. How are you?"

"It's fine. I'm used to it. Your mother said worse," Zander waves my insult away, and he rubs his eyes. "I'm doing great. Awesome. Fantastic. Glad you and Adam are alright. I heard about your return. I'm hoping you felt…. prepared for what happened."

He stares at me, sizing me up to see if he thought I could have taken down someone attacking me, but I pretend I don't notice. Zander shouldn't be worried about if I was trained or not. He'd done a great job as our trainer, but even all the hard work I'd put in couldn't prepare me for the exact situation of meeting Marcus.

"You don't sound so great," I take a sip of the drink, and to his credit, Zander humors me by rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, but uh, since you've been gone, my girlfriend dumped me in the middle of the Pit. Refused to talk to me. Wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Took a job as far away from me as she could get. Won't even look at me when I see her in the hallway. Four yelled at me. Eric yelled at me. Even Karl yelled at me, and I wasn't even the one who stepped on his foot. So yeah, I haven't been doing so hot lately. I think I might get fired."

"That's definitely not what I was expecting to hear," I try to sound casual, like Rachel hadn't told me this. Though she had left out the part about everyone yelling at him. "Why did Kat dump you? I thought you guys were madly in love with each other. Didn't you say you'd never dump her?"

"I was going to propose," Zander answers glumly. "Right after initiation. Eric warned me I had to do it once she was an official member. Something about people asking too many questions about the timeline of our relationship and thinking she was getting to stay just because I wanted her to. So I agreed, and right before I could, she said it was over."

"Why?" I take another sip of the drink, rewarded with a rush of espresso and vanilla, and I hope it kicks in soon. "Because of me?"

"Well…" Zander stalls, and he does a poor job of pretending he's not. "She was really upset that you were pissed off. And that you thought she was a shitty friend."

"She was!" I set my drink down with more force than necessary, and the barista eyes me from behind the counter as I dare insult his carefully crafted drink by sloshing it around. "Zander, I would support Kat no matter what, but she stopped talking to me. She told me she was dating someone, and she didn't even say it was you!"

"We talked about telling you. I think you know that conversation was a little awkward," Zander admits. He rubs the back of his neck, and he looks sheepish. "I met her before your training. I liked her back then. I thought for sure I'd be the one to fuck it up, and I was right. I fucked it up by being your uncle and it ruined her friendship with you."

"I could always fire you from the family," I suggest, not entirely joking. "Please don't think you ruined anything. She apologized to me during the War Games, and I wasn't ready to accept it. I felt like she'd been so crappy that it wasn't worth it. Or that she didn't really mean it, but she just didn't want me mad at her."

"She was devastated that you blew her off."

"I was in a treehouse, freezing my ass off! It wasn't exactly the ideal time to have a heart to heart talk with the girl dating my uncle. The only thing weirder would be if she announced she was dating Rylan." I lean back in my chair, and I shake my head. "I don't want things to be weird. I want her and I to be friends, and I want you and her to be back together."

"Doubtful," Zander shrugs, but he looks marginally happier than before. "I have been going to see her, but she's not exactly thrilled about it."

"Maybe ease up on the stalking, just for a minute." I attempt a joke, and he cracks the barest hint of a smile. "Tell me where to find her. I'll go talk to her. I'll even tell her I have no issues with the two of you. You can get married a million times if that's what makes you two happy."

"You're oddly supportive," Zander eyes me suspiciously, but his frown isn't real. "Is this because you and Adam are all…basically married?"

"No," I shake my head. "It's because you look miserable, and it sounds like she's miserable, and it makes no sense for you to be apart when you could be together."

"That's deep. Did my dad teach you that?" Zander glances around the coffee shop, then pulls out his phone and taps at the screen with frightening speed. "Hold on, I'm ordering my coffee from their app. The line is getting too long to wait in."

"No, grandpa didn't tell me that. But he's supposed to come by this week," I look at the line forming, and Zander is right. It weaves through the tables, around by the wall, and all the way to the entryway. "Four said…"

"I heard he came back in a winning mood." Zander taps his screen victoriously as his order goes through, and he looks up from the white glare. "Jason said he was convinced none of that would have happened if Adam had stayed in Dauntless."

"Yeah, he pretty much blamed Adam and me. He said we disobeyed orders to stay put." I wince at the memory, still fresh in my mind. "Adam is really upset."

"He should be. What a dick," Zander scoffs. "Out of everyone in the faction, Four should know all about Marcus playing games. The dude treated him like shit."

"What?" I stare at Zander in total confusion. "Marcus did? How do you know this?"

"How do you not know this? It's why he came here. At least that's what Karl told me. He said Jason told him. Guess Four had a violent upbringing and he escaped when he chose Dauntless. Still not an excuse to be a hard ass to Adam. He would occasionally grill me over how Adam was doing and I told him he could check the rankings along with everyone else. Adam did just fine. He's a smart guy. Zero need to have someone breathing down his neck, so I totally get why he'd want nothing to do with his dad."

"Does Adam know?" I look up as the man with enough metal to build a suspension bridge arrives to drop off Zander's drink. He's made it suspiciously quick, and I wonder if the app works or if Zander comes here enough that they know his order. "Any of that?"

"Nah, I doubt it. Four doesn't tell anyone anything, but don't take my word for it. I only know him from the times I've been around him. He trained me to be a trainer. We didn't talk anything about his homelife. Only that he liked the initiates trained a certain way, and Eric liked them trained another and Four hated that Eric got his way. Oh, and that Eric trained your mom. Four said that was bullshit."

I snort, because I'm sure a few others thought that as well.

"Hopefully he'll ease up. Before they never speak to each other again." I think out loud, hoping I'm right. "I might try and go find Kat today. See if I can fix things with her before I try and fix things with Four."

Across from me, Zander smiles.

"That sounds like a plan your dad would come up with. You gonna strong arm them into agreeing with you?"

"Maybe." I pretend to think this over, but Zander does have a point. I could always get my father involved if I had to, and he could get them to agree by any means necessary.

But for now, I'll do it myself.

"Nah, you know what? I can handle it. I'm pretty persuasive," I smile at Zander, happy to see him, and even happier to know he's alive. "You want to come over for dinner? I have a new apartment. You could come over and see it and I'll make you something to eat."

It's just what he needs.

Zander's face brightens considerably. He nods, and we spend the next half hour listening to the moms of Dauntless pester my metal friend on how to get their precious offspring into Charlotte's class.


The next few days are a whole lot of nothing.

I agonize over telling Adam what Zander told me, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. It feels like a sneaky attack, like trying to sway Adam into thinking Four is just dealing with this the best way he can, when I know he won't accept that. Being blamed for his father and Rylan being lost in the woods was one thing but being told we'd wasted soldier's time and caused all this was another. Hearing that his father didn't have the best upbringing won't change any of that.

So, I keep quiet. I wait to turn around and find Adam grinning in a way that will tell me everything is okay, or at the very least hear that his father had tried to come talk to him.

He doesn't. I'm met with a lot of sullen, miserable stares and a few heartbreaking sighs. Even our movie nights do little to soothe the hurt of being blamed over Marcus, and he's consumed by the fact that his father thinks this is his fault.

By Thursday, I've had enough.

I can't bring myself to watch Adam be hurt over his father's theory that none of this would have happened if he hadn't left Dauntless, and I can't bring myself to sit around and do nothing. It wouldn't be impossible for Four to eventually come to this realization himself, but I don't have time to wait around. At the rate things were going, years would pass before Adam and his father ever spoke again.

Still, there was a nagging doubt that I should even get involved.

Four had made it clear he didn't like any of this, and that included me. Whatever his reasoning may be, he might refuse to speak to me. He might tell me to go away, preferring to keep up this feud for his own personal reasons.

It would be worth the risk if I could convince him otherwise.

I'd made a promise I wouldn't let anyone hurt Adam, and that included the very person blaming him for what happened with Marcus.

Unfortunately for me, I don't get very far.

I step off the elevator the second it opens. It reveals a large floor with offices, some used more than others, all varying sizes. Some are neat and organized, some are messy, and some –like my grandfather's –had been left exactly the way they were. Full of books and maps, and all kinds of oddities that meant something.

My hopes of heading right to Four's office are dashed when I run into my mother. She's leaving my father's office, and her eyes widen when she sees me.

I just can't tell if she's happy or trying to prevent me from actually making it to Four's office.

Either way, it's nice to see her, even when she drags me into her own office and slams the door shut.


"He's just…I don't know, taking this to a whole other level."

My mother sighs into her ice cream, taking a bite of the heaping bowl Quinten had served us. We were sitting in his kitchen, warm and busy and completely crammed with people preparing lunch. There's a mild tenseness in the air if only because they have so many people to serve, but otherwise, everyone is pretty cheerful.

"Tris said she thinks knowing Marcus went after Adam triggered something in Four. He's struggling with what happened in his own childhood, and as a result, he can't separate himself from Adam," my mother takes a bite, then swallows quickly. "She thinks he'll realize what he's doing once things settle down. He came back to a million messages and everyone wanting to know what happened. Plus, Rylan telling that story about what happened to him? I'm sure that didn't help."

"So that means he gets to take it out on Adam and me?" I stare at her while people rush past us, heaving large boxes of lettuce around as they prepare to make salad. "Because I was sitting there when he blamed me and I didn't do anything."

"No, you didn't. Your father almost killed him for even suggesting you did."

I smile at her answer, because I knew my father firmly believed I could never do anything wrong. Except in this case, I really hadn't.

"Adam is pretty upset," I confess, figuring there was no better time or person to talk to than my mother. "He's really angry that Four is blaming him. He doesn't get why he wouldn't just be happy he's not dead."

"Well," my mother stalls, nodding a hello as Quinten drops off more ice cream, then loudly instructs someone to find the tomatoes. "Four's not wrong. Adam being in Amity did lead Marcus right to you both, but that's hardly what anyone should be focusing on. You being alive is much more important than a few soldiers walking through Amity a couple times, or Harrison being asked to report who was actually in his faction. Four is deflecting dealing with how he feels about his father by looking at logistics. Soldiers will always patrol, and someone will always be pissed off ready to attack. We all told him this."

"Did Dad talk to him?" I move my feet out of the way when TJ strolls by, balancing multiple crates on his shoulder. It's an impressive feat, and they all bear a bright label reading Amity Farms on them. "I thought he was going to punch him."

"They did talk. They had breakfast this morning. Your father is pretty unwilling to let him dwell on this for very long. It's been forever since Four saw his father, and there's really no reason for him to be blaming Adam for his return. If anything, he should be happy neither of you were hurt and leave it at that."

"Yeah, but he hates everything about the situation, especially me. Did you forget he said I was trouble?" I ask, and I'm suddenly paralyzed when I realize that not only did no one forget that, but the very person who said it is standing a few feet away from me.

He looks better than before, but his expression is pained.

"Yeah, I heard that. I was pissed off since he's known you since you were…" my mother stops speaking when she looks up from her mountain of chocolate ice cream to find Four standing there. "…born."

"I don't hate you, Eva."

His appearance is jarring. Four speaks quietly, but he's jostled out of the way by Quinten, side eyeing him so intensely that Four immediately steps to the side. TJ is next. He stops in front of Four, slamming down the large crates of vegetables at his feet to create a barrier. There is a silent standoff, TJ and Quinten well aware of what happened, and it's obvious they've picked a side.

Which means Four is effectively trapped; Quinten is behind him, TJ is to the side of him, and my mother and I are behind a wall of cucumbers, sitting atop Quinten's pristine silver counters.

"I shouldn't have said that…"

He tries again; I give him credit for not stalking off, because the rest of the kitchen staff greets him testily. They move past him ignoring the fact that as a leader, they should show some respect. But they've realized my mother is mad at him, and they like her better.

Probably because she was down here frequently to grab dessert.

"I don't…how can I even begin to explain…"

Four grows frustrated when he gets nowhere. His train of thought is as jumbled as the salad TJ is putting together, and he gets nowhere when he tries to go past TJ.

"Okay, I need to talk to Everly and Eva. Can you please let me by?" He finally snaps, his expression darkening when no one moves. They turn to look at us, waiting until my mother nods her head at Quinten. It's then, and only then, that he and his son step aside so Four can talk to us.

I have to admit, I'm sort of dreading it. I'd always liked Four, but he hadn't been very fond of me these past few months.

It didn't look like he was very fond of me right now.

"I thought you said I was trouble. That Adam and I were trained soldiers and we should have known better," I remind Four the second he's in front of us, and were he anyone else, I'd probably be in trouble for speaking so rudely. But my words are his own, and he knows this.

He listens to them, and his face tightens.

"If you knew anything about why I wanted to keep Adam away from Marcus, you'd understand," Four looks right at me, and my mother crosses her arms over her chest and sits up straighter. Her posture is defensive, but Four knows she'll leap off the counter if this doesn't go well. "That doesn't excuse what I said, because I certainly don't think you're trouble. It's just… Marcus is…"

He swallows thickly, and I think of Meghan's story and what she told me.

It's all over Four's face.

Whatever had happened that made him leave Abnegation, whatever had happened to make him not tell Adam about Marcus, whatever had happened that made him hellbent on raising an obedient son, is right there. Hidden beneath years of suppressing it, doing his best to move on and not let it affect him.

But it hadn't.

Marcus returning had brought all that back up, and it was uncomfortable to deal with.

Even worse was that it was starting to crack whatever relationship he and Adam had. While strained at best, it had been something. Adam only wanted his own life, and it could include Four, but only if this could be fixed.

"Marcus was not someone to mess around with. He was violent. He was cruel. Angry. Abusive, because he could be and no one would believe it. I spent half my life feeling like I'd been left behind to fight for my own survival, and the second half trying to forget that feeling. I only wanted Adam to grow up knowing different. Knowing how lucky he was. I messed that up by looking for everything he was doing wrong."

"Why?" I lean back as Four heads closer to me, glancing at my mom, then me. "Why were you so worried he'd mess everything up?"

Four shrugs, but not indifferently. Heavily, and I know he's been thinking about this. "I guess, it felt familiar to feel angry. I knew what he was doing wasn't of some malicious intent, but it felt like an insult to me. When I heard he left, I took it personally. Like he did it just to spite me."

"Only you would think him going to see Eva was an attack against you," my mother interjects, and her stare is unhappy. "He went to see her because he loves her. I think that's pretty obvious."

Four is silent long enough that I start to think he's going to walk away.

"I'm…very aware of how he feels about her. Eric made that perfectly clear this morning," Four pauses, like the next words are hard to say. "I realize I have been holding on to some… issues that are my own to deal with. And if I don't deal with them, then I lose not only Adam, but Eva. I lose the family I have here. Even….even Rylan. I got an earful from him this morning, too."

"Yeah, well you sort of killed his welcome back party," my mother points out, and she sets her bowl of ice cream down. "So what are you going to do now? How will you ever make it right with Rylan?"

"He's the least of my worries. I told him he could pick out my next haircut and he seemed fine with that," Four jokes, but it's weak. "I'm going to go find Adam and talk with him. I'm hoping once I explain some things that I should have told him, he'll understand. None of what I said was right, and I fully acknowledge that. I'm just not sure if he'll talk to me."

"He will, but he's really upset that you blamed him." I answer without thinking, or even knowing if this was true. Adam might not want to talk to him, and even if he did, he might refuse on principle alone. "He's at home. I'm sure he'll talk to you."

Four nods, shrugging slightly at the mention that I know where Adam is, and that place is our shared apartment.

"I know. I've been living that mistake over and over since it happened. I guess… I wanted to talk with you first. I heard you two live together now. I was probably more surprised than anyone to find out your father arranged that." Four looks at me, and this time, it's completely different. Gone is the pained expression heavy with disapproval and annoyance, and in its place is the start of acceptance and the hope that I'll forgive him. "I think…if he was going to end up with anyone in Dauntless, you would be the person he would be happiest with."

It's not exactly an apology for saying I was trouble, but it's a start.

"And you're just discovering this now?" My mother's answer is dry, and she crosses her arms. "How did you know we were down here?"

"Eric told me. I told him I needed to talk to Eva because what I said wasn't right."

He looks over at my mom, still not entirely convinced of his change of heart, but she smiles tightly. "Good. You should talk to Eva. And shockingly, Eric did approve of them living together. Plus, it frees up a space sooner rather than later. And we know where they both are at all times."

"Adam was so sure that you weren't safe without him." Four keeps talking, and he's suddenly right in front of me. I look up to see his dark, rumpled shirt, and the funny look on his face. It's very familiar, and I flash back to Zander having the same air of desperation to him. "He was so determined to go find you. He said you were by yourself and…he…"

Four stops talking, and he reaches for me.

For a second, I'm not sure what he's doing. The act is unusual and odd for both of us; Four wasn't overly affectionate to anyone, and after everything, I was the last person he'd want to hug.

But he does.

When he's sure that I'm not going to shove him away, he grasps onto me the same way both my grandparents had; tightly, like he's afraid I'll disappear.

I stay perfectly still. All around us, the kitchen stays busy. The workers continue their prep, going back and forth, calling out to each other, and chopping things left and right. My mother answers someone about what's going on, but her voice sounds far away, drowned out by the sound of Four exhaling with the exact same heaviness Adam did, mumbling an oh so quiet I'm so sorry, Eva and the thudding of a box Quinten is throwing out.

Four doesn't move. One of his hands is stuck in my hair in the most awkward way, and the other is grasping onto the fabric of my jacket. He breathes unevenly, every so often sucking in a shaky breath like he's waiting for me to push him away, and not saying a word.

I let him hold onto me.

After everything that's happened –him being upset over Adam leaving, the blame and anger when he came back, dealing with his past and the resurgence of his father, down to the very minute he'd realized if things didn't change he'd lose his son – I know he needs this.

I guess I do, too.

I had made a silent promise to fix anything and everything I could, and this is the first step.

I nod against Four's chest; it's a silent acceptance of what he's offering, and the silent promise to let it all go. I know he understands when his grip tightens and he doesn't let go.

I just hope Adam is as willing to forgive Four as I was.