This is the final boarding call for all passengers of British airways flight LHR 116 to London Heathrow. Please report to the boarding gate immediately.
"Well, that's me!" Kelsey sighs looking up towards the flight departures board in front of them. She's wrapped in Clay's arms, him holding her tight against his chest "I guess I better go then"
Mmmm hmm! He nods, hardly daring to speak for fear he might cry in front of her. He leans forward and kisses her slowly "You sure you're gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm good. I um... I'll call you, when I land" she can feel the stinging sensation of the tears welling in her eyes. Her throat is dry, painful and her heart thumping hard in her chest "Okay, kiss me!" she smiles, taking a deep breath trying desperately to stop herself sobbing.
He strokes her hair away from her face and holding her cheeks in his hands, he kisses her "You know I'm gonna miss you!"
"Yeah...yeah me too. Take care of Casey and give him a big kiss from me. Oh, and don't forget his elephant at bedtime. He um... he ... he won't sleep without it"
"I got it.. I'll remember. Hey, don't worry about anything. He's gonna be fine and it's only three weeks, then you're home" he smiles, kissing the top of her head "It will fly past, I promise"
"Yeah..."her lip shudders and she bites against it hard to stop it while sniffing, anxious not to start crying because she knows she won't be able to stop. She fails. Huge beads of tears, roll down her cheeks, dripping from her chin "Okay...so, I'm gonna go and I'm not gonna look back, okay?"
"Okay!" Clay takes a deep anxious breath and kisses her again "Just enjoy it. Remember, this is what you wanted, so make the most of it"
"I know... I know" she nods " I just..." she cries openly now "Oh god, why does it have to be so hard" she can't hold back, wiping her face with the tissue. "How the hell do other people do this? And why do I feel so guilty?"
Then Clay kisses against her lips, holding her tight. Wrapping his arms around her back, he stares her deep in the eyes "Hey... c'mon. You don't need to feel guilty, like you said you're not the only one who does this. Kelsey, we can do it... we've got this, we'll do it together."
Hmm! "Yeah, I guess, but...it's hard " she wipes her face with the back of her hand as he passes her bag and passport to her. She takes another deep breath "Okay ..." She sighs "okay, I can do this, I'll see you soon."
"You can do this and I'll see you very soon." He nods, smiling "Now go!"
She smiles, kissing him for one last time and then taking a deep breath she walks towards the check in desk with tears streaming down her face. Then closing her eyes tightly, they check her bags in.
Just before she disappears from sight, she can't help it and turns, taking one last look back. Clay puts his hand up to acknowledge her. She nods and waves, mouthing "I love you so much!"
As she disappears from sight, Clay's own tears begin to flow. The raw pain and emotion in each one stings as they roll down his face. The hurt cuts deep like a knife wound in his chest. He can't imagine having to do this again, and for much longer next time. Even now he's wondering how they will cope.
A few minutes of being lost in his own feelings and he pulls himself together. Taking his cell from his pocket "Hey um... Sonny, just thought I'd let you know, I'm on my way back now. Yeah... yeah her flight just left. Yeah I'm okay, I'll be back soon"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
19 days later
"Hey!"
The image on the screen stutters at first, buffering before it becomes clearer "Hey there!" Clay smiles as Kelsey's face fills the whole of the laptop screen " Can you hear me?...How are you?"
"Yeah .. yeah I can hear you. It's so good to see you." she smiles, a huge beaming grin as his face lights up her phone screen "I'm good. I just can't wait to get back now. A couple more days to go and I'll be home, can you believe how fast it's gone" she smiles "So, how is he? Is my baby okay today?"
"Yeah, he's feeling much better now. Doctor said it was just a sniffle. Think, he's been really missing you though, especially while he's been out of sorts. Just wants a Mommy cuddle" Clay smiles at her, he knows how worried she's been and how awful he felt when he had to tell her Casey wasn't well. He knew how tough it would have been for her, being that far away and unable to do anything "Oh um...just to warn you, Sonny and Ash are here with me. So careful what you say " he laughs
"Okay .. I will do" she smiles thinking about the conversations they've had on previous evenings "Hey guys!" She waves as Clay turns the screen so she can see them "So, where is he?" She takes a breath, smiling as Sonny holds Casey towards the screen
"Hey, look champ, it's your mommy. Say hey Mommy" Sonny takes Casey's hand in his and waves it at the screen "We missing you, Mommy. I've been so good while you've been gone. Oh, and I can tell you that Daddy's been a good boy too, Uncle Sonny said there's been no drinking with his buddy's!" Sonny smiles winking at her.
"Hey Casey! Mummy's missing you too. I'll be home very soon though baby. I love you" she smiles watching as he bites, sucking against his small fist "He looks bigger now"
"Yeah ...yeah he's putting on a lot of weight. I um... I took him swimming again yesterday, now he's feeling better. He sure loves it" Clay smiles "So you do you know when you're getting back?"
"Um... well we're UK bound now; it'll take a couple of days to get back to shore so I'll have to let you know the details" she smiles " So, what's Ash doing there, something going on?"
"Oh err... Audrey, is here. She's moving her stuff in today. Ash's been giving her a hand"
"Okay, so how's that been going? Is it working out?" she frowns
"Oh yeah it's been fine, a little strange, having someone else here looking after him but ... she coped pretty well when I got spun up a couple days back. I mean didn't plan for that while she was here, but she said she didn't mind so... it was good. Gotta say it was one less thing to worry about, when I left. You wanna say hello?"
"Um... yeah, yeah sure" Kelsey coughs nervously taking a deep breath. For some reason that she can't understand, it stings, thinking about this woman, who's been taking care of her son.
"Hola! Ms Roberts" the pretty dark-haired woman's face now fills the screen. She's slightly older than Kelsey imagined, or her resume described.
"Oh...hi! Um...please, just call me Kelsey, it's fine" she gives her a smile as she swallows apprehensively "Nice to meet you. We'll err.. we'll meet for real, in a couple of days. Are the boys, looking after you alright?"
"Oh si! Ash and Clay have been very kind, helping me find my way around and Mr Sonny, he is very funny."
"Yeah, yeah he is. I'm glad they're helping you settle in "
"Yes, I was bringing my belongings, here today, but I've arranged to stay with friends for a couple of nights, when you come back. I thought you and Mr Spenser might appreciate some time alone, as a family"
"Oh um... that's...that's very kind of you, but I hope it isn't an inconvenience for you?"
"No, no I haven't visited them for a while and so will be nice to go do some things with them"
"Well thank you. We um.. we do have a lot to catch up" Kelsey relaxes a little, relieved at how nice she seems "Well again nice to meet you. Sorry to break off could I speak to Clay only I don't have very much time left"
"Oh yes, sure I will meet with you soon. Adios"
"Clay um... can I talk to you, alone"
"Yeah... yeah just hold on" he picks up the laptop and heads to the bedroom for privacy "Hey so, what's up?"
"Nothing, just um... I won't get to speak to you again before we get back. We're going into a training exercise and we'll be radio silent until we dock. I have to go soon, we're on restricted hours as well"
"Okay.. so when will I hear from you?"
"I'll err... I'll contact you when we get into port. Send you my flight numbers when I have them." She coughs and smiles" She .. well she seems nice. A little older for a student than I thought she'd be"
"Yeah she's a mature law student. Halfway through her course, that's why she didn't wanna leave. She's actually really intelligent, speaks four languages. Oh, and um... Sonny's taken a bit of a shine to her" he smiles
"Yeah well don't be encouraging that. If she's as good as you said, then the last thing we need is him tempting her away, not if it's making life easier"
"Well you know, he's been here most of the time, while you've been gone, keeping me company. It's going to be strange for him to go back to his own place when you get back. But Casey loves having him around. He laughs so much now, you're gonna love it when you hear him" he sighs, stroking the picture of her face on the screen " I can wait to see how he reacts when you get back"
"He probably won't remember me."
"Hey, come on you know that's not true; he smiles every time you call."
Mmmm! "Yeah, I guess." she wipes a tear off of her cheek "You know Clay, I can't wait to hold you, cuddle you both. I mean the late-night video sessions.." she smiles "have been great but... it's not the same as the real thing. I miss your smell so much"
"My smell, that's what you miss? You sure it's not something else" he laughs " Well, it's only two more days and then you'll be on a flight home. I can't wait either" he leans forward and kisses the screen. Then he looks down, taking his cell from his pocket as it vibrates Shit!
She can hear the sound too "Is that you getting spun up?" she frowns, a little worried
"Yeah! God damn it!" he sighs "I was hoping... I mean I wanted to know I was gonna be here when your flight lands ... shit!" he frowns "Look, I'm gonna have to go"
"Yeah, don't worry. I have to go too . Like I said were on exercise now, I'm pushing it messaging you for this long. Still it's better that you go today, than when I land right?" she sighs "Tell you what, I'll get an uber from the airport, and then you won't have to worry if you don't get back in time"
"Well hopefully I'll be back, I'll let you know. You okay getting to the airport from the ship?"
"Um... yeah. Yeah a um... a friend is going to drive me. It's going to be late when I get back so... I figured I'd do that, then I wouldn't have to wait until morning for the train, I can get an earlier flight that way. Be home sooner."
"Okay, well... I'll see you in a couple of days then I guess. "
"Yeah" she sighs smiling "Be safe Clay! Can you let me say bye to Casey before you go?"
"Yeah sure" he heads through to the living area and Sonny turns him around to face the screen
"Bye baby boy.. " Kelsey blows him a kiss goodbye "Mummy will see you very soon" he smiles at the sound of her voice "Be safe everyone and I'll see you all in a few days"
The screen her end goes blank and the link is cut. Clay takes a deep breath as he looks at up at Sonny "We have to go. Um... Ash you gonna be okay with him?" he questions as he kisses Casey and hands him across.
Audrey smiles as she looks at them both "Well I'm here now ... so, I may as well take over, yes?"
"Um.." Clay frowns "are you sure? Only... well you weren't due to start for another couple of days"
"Yes, I'm sure... Ash can perhaps stay and show me where to find everything. But we are already acquainted, and we will be fine, just go"
"Okay then, I'll just grab my gear, that okay by you dad?"
"Oh yeah, would be easier for me. I have a studio appointment... I could've taken him but if Audrey doesn't mind, it would help me out"
"Sonny you ready to roll?"
"Yeah, sure am man"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Kelsey puts her head in her hands, wiping the tears from her face. She takes a moment for quiet reflection and then she hits call again on her phone "Hey ...um Alex it's Kelsey. Just a quick call I don't have much time, you still okay to collect me when we dock and drive me to the airport ?"
"Yeah.. yeah sure. I told you I would. You okay. You look tired today. You sleeping better now?"
"I'm good. You know sleeps hard to come by on a ship" she smiles "I'll be fine. There's only two more days until I'm back. Look, we're on a communications black out in an hour, so I won't know what time we're due to dock yet"
"It's okay I'll get word. You spoken to Clay today?"
"Yeah...Casey's a lot better now, so that's good. I can relax a bit more knowing that"
"Bet they're looking forward to having you home?"
"Yeah ... it's gonna be great! I can't wait"
"Hey, you sure you're okay?" he frowns worried by her tone.
"Yeah just a bit nervous" she sighs apprehensively "The um... the new nanny, Audrey. She's there now. Alex, if I'm honest I'm not sure how I feel about having her there with Casey. It was hard imaging her cuddling him, when he's poorly. You know, her being the one there for him and not me. This next deployment is going to be harder. I just... " hmmm she sighs again "I know it's for the best but why do I feel so shit about it?"
"Hey. C'mon you're just missing him, that's all. A few days you'll be home, and it'll all be fine"
"Do you think?" she frowns, rubbing her head and checking the time on her watch "Do you think this is a mistake, me being here. Do you think I should just get out now?"
"What? No why? Kelsey, what's brought this on. The other day when I spoke to you, you were loving being back. You said you felt like you had a purpose. So, what's changed now?"
"I don't know. I guess I'm just over thinking about going away again. It seems such a long time"
"Look, you've got time. Just don't make any rash decisions right now. I'll talk with you when you get back, okay?"
"Yeah... yeah I'll see you soon. Alex, thanks"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hey Poster Boy, I bet you can't wait to get back tonight" Sonny laughs sitting himself on the bench next to Clay " So what times her flight get in?"
"I don't know yet. I'm still waiting for her to send her flight numbers through. I should be hearing anytime soon" he checks the time on his watch and the screen on his phone is still blank of messages " I'm guessing she must have docked by now or pretty soon anyway" he smiles. Grinning to himself as he thinks about seeing her and the night ahead he has planned "Hey Sonny, you think I should get her something? Like flowers, chocolates, something, so she knows we missed her"
"Are you serious?" Jason laughs as he stands over them "You know she's gonna know you missed her, just by the look on your face"
"Yeah and I'm sure you can think of another less expensive present to give her" Sonny winks as he and Jason start to laugh
"Oh, he's going to be giving her that present alright, all that pent up frustration!"
"Guys please! This is my life you're talking about, so can we stop with the details"
"Oh, c'mon Clay. We all know what you're gonna be doin tonight. Testing that new apartment out, right?" Sonny laughs loudly, shoving against him. They now both stand up and start to pack up their bags, ready to leave the flight as they come into land.
"Ahhh! Yeah but Sonny, he's got that nanny there now. They gonna have to go more stealth mode, use their imaginations"
"Oh yeah I forgot about Audrey. Oh Clay, that's gonna be a little awkward right? You know I have a solution to your problem; I could offer to take her out of the night"
"Sonny, you just keep those thoughts to yourself. Last thing I need is you dating my Au pair. I don't need the fall out. Things are just starting to work out just right with that"
"Ahh! But you know, I've seen all those films about babysitters, being hot as hell. And you gotta admit, she's a pretty fine-looking woman. She was also tellin me that she rides horses, Texas lovin girl right there"
"Sonny... please don't go there" Clay smiles throwing his ruck sack over his shoulder as the landing ramp drops down in front of them.
They are all still laughing as they walk across the tarmac to the parking lot. Sonny frowns as the look over to where their vehicles are parked "Hey up! What's goin' on?" he frowns "Why's Ash here with the baby? You expectin' him to meet you?"
"No, I wasn't expecting him. I don't know" Clay frowns, his face fills with a look of concern. They step up their stride across the concrete. The other guys all follow behind him "Hey Dad, wassup?"
"Um...look Clay..." he hesitates and hands Casey to Sonny to hold. "I um... I've got some news. I needed to tell you in person"
"Okay, well couldn't you just wait 'til I got back ..." he frowns, laughing nervously as his stomach lurches. He can see the stone cold dead pan look on Ash's face "Alright, what's going on?"
He has a pale drawn complexion and stutters over his words as all the guys look at him. They're now also concerned and stare, waiting for a reply "Look.. there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. There's been an accident..."
"What?" the expression from Clay's face drops and he frowns, he suddenly has sick feeling of dread "There's been a what? What do you mean an accident, what sort of accident?"
"A um... a road traffic accident" he takes a breath "It's um...it's Kelsey. The car she was in… it was hit by a truck."
